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3rd Trimester
Eiskonigin
member
How do you fall prey to stereotypes with this pregnancy (You don't actually have to read the whole p
Eiskonigin
member
Me...I'm 19 years old and this is baby number two. I was 18 when I had my son. Do people look at me and think 'slut', oh you bet! The truth is though...I was married 6 months prior to becoming pregnant with my son, and I married the only man I have ever had sex with. That's right, I was married at 17. Why? Because I found the person I wanted to be with. "How do you know, you are too young." I won't argue, maybe I was wrong, but so far, my relationship has been wonderful. I rarely see him, but that doesn't change the fact it's only him I want to be with. 
I love this man with everything inside of me, and I couldn't be more happy to be having his children. It's claimed I won't be a good mother...but I must a decent one at least. My son is very healthy, developing at the rate he should be, and is always clean, happy, and well fed. He wants for nothing and, if I do say so myself, has the best decorated room ever. Lol.
I'm married to a soldier...most people assume that I married him for his money. Truth? He wasn't a soldier before we got married. In fact, I was the one that recruited him and we both were going to head out to basic training at the same time. What happened? I had a baby. Another side of that truth...enlisted soldiers don't make squat! Lmao. 
I'm from the south, so I must be white trash. Truth? I've found the people from the south to be much more hospitable. Where I came from, we were raised to keep a clean home, a clean tounge, and a Godly way of life. I was taught to accept everyone, no matter what thier short comings are, and to never push my beliefs onto other people. This can also be reversed to those from the north. There are many stereotypes associated with where you come from.
Because of my age (this one can be stretched to those younger than 23), I must go out and party all the time. Truth? I have never been apart from my son. This labor will be the first time I've ever been away from him. I never put my son in posistions where I feel a child shouldn't be, so my partying? It was a brithday party of a 6 year old that my son was invited to a few weeks back. That's the first 'party' I had ever been to. Lol.
My life experiences don't amount to those who are older. Truth? I have been through and seen things I would never wish on anyone. I have lost, I have loved, I have had my heart broken. I have married, and I have had a child. I have struggled, and I have lived well. I have smiled and I have cried. I have laughed and I have watched those I love die. I've worked two jobs at once and saved every penny I earned. I have gotten my license and (with my husbands amazing help), make payments on my own car. I pay bills, I clean and cook. I carry around a toddler and this baby inside of me, even though I am supposed to be on strict bedrest. I have had to have surgery due to a life threatening illness. I have gone months on end without seeing the man I love, and continue to try to be strong when he is gone for even these short excursions. I'm getting ready to say goodbye to my father, even though he is only 43. My mother has had heart attacks and strokes, even though she is very healthy and is only 38 (they are caused by stress). I am always sending money, calling, and trying to keep in touch, because soon, I may lose them both. I have cared for my little sister when my parents were both working hard, and may have to do so again soon when our father passes, because there is no way I can let my mother do it alone. So...yes, I think in some ways, my life does compare to those who are older.
For me, I see a lot of stereotyping. I'm pretty ok with it though. Because once they really get to know me, they are extremely surprised. I love my life, and I'm happy to be where I'm at. There is nothing I would change, because the things I have done, the things I have seen and the people I know, they are what make me special. So, I let them judge, and I smile about it. 
Now what about all of you? Have you fallen victim to any stereotyping during your pregnancy? Or even from before?
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Re: How do you fall prey to stereotypes with this pregnancy (You don't actually have to read the whole p
I totally agree with 100% of everything you said!! I am also 19, married to my high school sweetheart at 18. He is also in the military, but a sailor. I always hate the "you are too young," yea but why, and where did that come from anyway?
Its nice to know there are other people who go with their "gut" and stick to what they want to do, and what they believe in!!
I think, when it comes to the person you love and are committing to, age has nothing to do with it. I think, those of us who have been there understand that. If our marriages wind up in a divorce, it's not because we were too young, but because things changed and we stopped working on the realtionship. Just because you marry at an older age doesn't me your relationship won't fail. The hard part about it all is working at it. You can't get married and not work to keep things happy.
Sticking to what you want and believe in is the best anyone can do, no matter their age.
I'm glad to know there are other's who believe that way too. Bless your sailor! He is doing something great for his country!!!
I absolutely LOVE doing this! I had a "ha! in your face!" moment with my family after years of not speaking. They didn't think I could ever be the type of person I am today. It feels good, doesn't it!
Trust me ladies, people play the "young" card to those in their 20's as well.
I got married to DH (after 5+ years together) when I was 24. Because we waited to get married (we wanted to finish school and buy a house), we knew we wanted kids right away. We got pregnant 3 months into our marriage, and I will have my daughter the week before I'm 25.
I was first told, "You're so young to get married!" and now I hear "You're so young to have a baby!"
I think that people just like to talk and have opinions. No worries, as long as you're happy!
It does feel good, but at the same time, when it comes to your family, it can hurt that they had no faith in you to start with. My parents were kidn of the same way. They signed the papers, but they wanted nothing to do with me after that. I have proved to them since ti all happened though that I am capable of behaving like an adult, and that I was ready for things to start changing. Some people just know early on that they want a family.
Oh, I have no doubt that you still hear it. I was just speaking from my own experience. It's aggrivating when someone can tell you something like that on what should be some of the happiest times in your life. But in the end, when you prove to them that you were ready and can do a better job than anyone would have though possible, you feel great.
I'm sorry that you get it too, it's no fun, but it makes you who you are in the end. 
You sound like you have a really good head on your shoulders. Don't let others have too much of an effect on you.
My parents were married at 20 and had been together since they were 14 and 15. Nobody knows your life story what you've been through etc. I'm 29 and look 16 and I get nasty looks when I go out too and its just people assuming I'm so young. Forget everyone and live your life with your wonderful family.
We were married at 19. He's the only guy I've ever been with. I constantly get the "you're too young" for pretty much everything. My mother's sisters tried to have an intervention to keep me from getting married after we got engaged. I've always been under the impression none of them take our marriage seriously and Lord only knows what they "think" now that we're pregnant.
When it comes down to it I could care less what people think. I married my best friend and we're about to have a baby together. This blows my mind in such a good way.
Little M 6/16/2013
Angel baby 5/17/2014
Why didn't you want to get, oh... I don't know.. a life and an identity before becoming someone's mom and wife?
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
I too am touched by this. I think we all have experienced discrimination (or hypocritcally partook in discriminating). I am happy to see that you are proud of who you are, and are not ashamed to stand up for it all. I'm sorry that you've experienced so much judgement -- the world would be such a more peaceful place if folks realized that there is ALWAYS more than meets the eye.
My experienced discrimination: RACISM (I'm half mexican, and here in the South all other ethnicities seem to dislike Mexicans -- black, white, asian), BEING AN UNWED MOM (my SO and I are beyond happy together and are modern in our beliefs that being legally married doesn't make your relationship better or worse, and we will get hitched when we damn well feel like it!).
Those are my big 2 that I am currently dealing with. :
I know all about the age thing.I just turned 24. My husband and I married at 19, after being together for two years and knowing each other since we were 8! Everyone thought that I had to be pregnant, why else would we get married so young??? We were not expecting we just knew that it was right and we were ready! We will be married 5 years this August, and it has been an amazing journey so far! I have been through cancer treatment in the past two years and it has only made us stronger!!
Another stereotype that I deal with is weight. I am overweight, obese actually. People assume that all I do is eat... Including doctors. At my first prenatal appointment the Dr actually told me I needed to eat healthier and not as much without even knowing my eating habits. Telling me that I need to cut back portions!! Of course I know healthy eating is important in pregnancy but she was coming at me like all I do is eat junk all day! I actually eat a pretty healthy diet. I eat lots of veggies, whole wheat and whole grain pasta and bread, fruits, lean meat (hardly and red meat), and drink water like it is going out of style. I try to stay as active as possible, although it is getting tough!! The most hurtful part about it is I feel like people just think I am this fat, lazy person that eats junk nonstop.Most people do not realize that it can be very hard to lose weight. Thankfully my husband is amazing and tells me everyday how beautiful I am.
Your story is amazing! It sounds like you are very committed to your husband and your children!! The most important thing is that you are happy! Just remember back in the day it was considered strange if you were not married with a few children by the time you were 19
Good luck and I wish you so much happiness!!
I can't stand when someone judges another purely based on their hereitage or skin color. Don't let anyone put you down, I have no doubts you are very proud of who you are, and that's allt hat matters. Ignorance toward another persons beliefs or race is the worst kind of discrimination there is in my opinion. And there is NOTHING wrong with not being married. If you choose to get married later on, wonderful! If not, you said yourself you are extremely happy. Look at some marriages where they wish they had never married. I'm sorry you deal with this, but no matter what, you are a good person and are making a wonderful life for yourself. No should live to please others, they should do the things they want and what makes them happy, and should be accepted for who they are, not what they look like, or how old they are, or whether or not they are married, or any of that.
I'm sorry people judge you on your weight. My father had the something like this thrown at him. The doctors were constantly getting onto him before they found out he was actually very sick. Not only are his kidney's failing, but he has a thyroid problem. He used to be in great shape, but as he got worse and worse he started gaining more and more weight. He eats healthy and is always active becuase he refuses to stop working, but people still look at him and just assume he is over weight because he is lazy and doesn't eat right. It bothers me so much people can be like that. Even I know the struggles of losing weight. I gained a LOT of weight when I was freshman in HS, and I was made fun of a LOT. One day, I hit a point where I just wanted to prove to myself that I COULD lose weight. It took me 2 years to get down to a good weight for my height, and the entire time, my BF (now my husband) helped me every step of the way. Shortly after, I was married and got pregnant, and gained a lot of the wieght back. I feel good about how I look now though, and I know what my body's limits are. If yours is comfortable where it's at, that may be the reason you can't lose weight. This may be where you body feels the most healthy. Don't let anyone get you down. your husband tells you that you are beautiful because you ARE. Anyone who doesn't see it is TRYING not to see it.
I'm going to the University of TN to become a dentist, and work on the weekends at a crappy gas station. Everywhere I go on the campus, ppl look at me like, "WHORE!" or like I made a mistake and am crazy to think I can make it through the semester. Little do they know that I'm married, and totally planned this baby. I even have it all planned out to have the summer off to have the baby and be back in class by the Fall. When I walk into class, I hear ppl say, "That girl's pregnant..." And when I'm at work, my regular customers have enough guts to say, "Did you mean to get pregnant?" I'm like, "Yeah, I planned it." People are weird. I read a story about a woman who had 3 children: 1 while in college, 1 while in med school, and 1 right after that. So it's like, hey, that's amazing. Don't worry about it. Everyone stares at me. Plus my husband is 19 years older than me, so everyone looks at us like he's my father and I'm his trampy knocked up daughter when we go out. Nice.
Don't worry. Just take note at all the strange behavior and laugh. It's not their baby anyway.
I like this one. Lol. I think going natural is an excellent choice. You are taking care of your enviroment, yourself, and your family. I think that's a very noble thing to do. They judge because they don't understand is all.
Pfft, I think people are just jealous you are able to juggle work, college, and soon a child and they can barely get the college thing. You are setting a great path for yourself! This is wonderful. It will set a great example for you child when they are older as well, and it can show those who felt they can't return to school because of children that they were worng, that it is possible, and they can get it done.
And always back to the age thing...ugh...some people will never understand age is just a number. It had nothing to with who you are or who you fall in love with. It sound slike you are making a name for yourself, and it's good you don't let their comments get to you! 
I'm confused, is this a question directed at anyone in particular? For me, I already have my identity. I know exactly who I am. I have a a wonderful life. Lol. Did I lose myself simply because I married and had a child? Of course not. I'm still me. I still have my own personality, my own beliefs, my own interests and so on and so forth. You don't lose that because you marry and have children.
That's just one more thing to add to what makes you, you. 
Yeah, and it's soooo hard to explain things to people with getting all uppity on them....especially when they are practically sneering when they question my choices. Thats why Im such a *** here, to maintain my niceness in real life, lol.
They are just jealous you make cute babies.
Lol.
Lol, there is nothing wrong with letting out frustration. It's better to let it out in a medium where it won't hurt as many people, than to do it where it hurts the maximum amount. Just stick true to what you feel. That's all that matters in the end. Who knows, you might bring people over with you. Lol.
BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.
I get the stares when out in public because while I'm 25 I look 16. And now I don't wear a ring because of swelling. I let the little old ladies at the grocery store think what they want, its none of their dang business.
When people find out MH and I are 12 years apart, they judge. Sorry, nope, I'm no trophy wife for a rich man. He's in the National Guard and works in supply for them. It doesn't even pay enough for me to be a SAHM and us to live comfortably.
It really bothers me when other teacher's stereotype kids. I work really hard to not judge people. Regardless of where they are now, they can become anything they want. MH was a very troubled child: he put a kids head through a chalk board, a pencil through another kids hand, etc. He didn't graduate high school until he was 22. He was on disability for a mental disorder (caused by his public psycologist giving him an upper and a downer at the same time). Before he joined the army he seriously looked like a fugitive, long beard, long hair, overweight because he didn't care about himself. He still had his old drivers license when we met. I copied it, inked out the info and showed my parents, they didn't even recognize him. If he can go from the horribly troubled child he was to the loving, caring, responsible man he is today, anyone can.
I like how you think.
I've never seen Germany, but have several friends that have been and they would also rather live there than the States. Lol. It's sad people think you can't just fall in love with someone. There always has to be some ulterior motive behind it. Just be sure you give them that "I told you so" smirk when you prove to them how wonderful your life is going to be. 
Lol.
He wanted to better himself. You found yourself a good man.
It's the hardest thing in the world to chnage yourself, but if you can do it, you are one of the strongest people in the world. That kind of commitment proves that he is a wonderful husband and is going to be a wonderful daddy too. 
Keep holding yourself high, you know who you are and what you have, that much is obvious, and you are darn proud of it.
Surely you're mistaken. People in the south are so hospitable- OP said so, so it must be true!
I think you may have taken what I said wrong. I said I, as in myself, the singular person typing right now, have found they are more hospitable. Other's will always have different experiences. I'm not exactly understanding how I have come off as knowing everything, but I apologize. Forgive me for that.
Married Filing Jointly Blog
She did. She got the life and identity that she wanted. Not everyone fits into the stereotypical bubble of wanting to alternate between partying and "finding themselves" when they're younger because they know who they are and what they want. That's not to say that people don't change as they get older. I'm certainly not the same person that I was even just a few years ago. But people never really stop changing as they age. And deciding to not marry someone that you genuinely want to spend the rest of your life with simply because you might "grow apart" as you get older is completely stupid IMO.
I'm only 22 and my dad's family is constantly giving me the side-eye for wanting to marry my high school sweetheart when I was only 21. They made their contempt for it pretty clear through the engagement and during the wedding. The weird thing is, they are genuinely happy and excited for the baby though. MH and I don't really understand it, but we're just happy they they finally seem to be coming around. My step-mother's mom even went so far as to tell me once that no one ever got a medal for marrying their high school sweetheart. I just told her that I didn't need a medal, because I was getting something much better than that, a good husband.
It's not always easy. But nothing ever worth doing is easy. Both of us are willing to sit down and talk our problems out because we love each other and we want our marriage to work. The baby was a bit of a surprise, but we couldn't have been happier about it. I don't know for certain if we'll be sitting on our front porch 50 years from now in our rockers, watching our grandkids play. Because no one can predict the future, and there are any number of things that might prevent us from getting there. But, I can say with certainty that I want to spend my life with him. And, I want everything that goes with it, the good and the bad. And I'm willing to fight like hell for it.
*Stupid quote feature wasn't working for me
Really? You don't see how your OP came off as pompous and pretentious like you've got it all figured out at the ripe ol' age of 19? Maybe the part of your brain responsible for self-awareness isn't yet fully developed. I thought I knew everything at 19, too.
Married Filing Jointly Blog
Oh, I don't think I know everything, and I know there is still quite a bit for me to learn. You continue to learn until the day you die. I simply pointed out the things people judge me on. I don't have everything figured out, and I doubt you can say you have everything figured out either.
But I can say I have been through a lot, and my experiences can compare to those who are older in a way that I have been through things they have not, and they have been through things I have not.
We have our own home, and now we are starting our own family. I can't imagine not having this going on in my life right now. I feel like I would just be going through every day just to work and come home and sleep, what's the fun in that?
My boss told everyone that I should of had this pregnancy "taken care of" because i'm far too young to have a baby and she can't believe that I will commit myself to one person. Needless to say she is a 30 year old woman who is getting divorced right now from her 60 year old husband who is a MUCH MUCH better person than she is. She married him for his money so she could start her business. She's the devil.