Flame Free Confessions, anyone?

locash · July 2010

Venus04d:
MJLab78:
Venus04d:

Why do so many people expect motherhood to be painless these days?

Because these days, everyone wants everything to be painless and easy without effort on their part.

That annoys me to no end. I am a firmer believer in "you reap what you sow". I WANT having a family and building our lives together to be a challenge. I WANT to overcome obstacles. I truly believe these are the things that make you appreciate the things and people you have in your life.

Ugh, why in the world does a woman who chooses to not breastfeed automatically equate to her thinking motherhood is going to be painless and not challenging. Plenty of babies grow up healthy on formula. Who are you to decide that it's just because she wants life to be easy-peasy. Such a stupid argument. Oh, and FF doesn't mean she's eliminating pains and challenges.

MJHershey · July 2010

Venus04d:
MJLab78:
Venus04d:

Why do so many people expect motherhood to be painless these days?
Because these days, everyone wants everything to be painless and easy without effort on their part.

That annoys me to no end. I am a firmer believer in "you reap what you sow". I WANT having a family and building our lives together to be a challenge. I WANT to overcome obstacles. I truly believe these are the things that make you appreciate the things and people you have in your life.

I agree. I see it in the college kids now- they don't want to earn anything, they just want it handed to them like their parents handed it to them (don't get me started on THAT whole idea- nothing to do with the other debate going on in this thread, btw- just when parents jump in a 'rescue' their kids all the time instead of letting them make mistakes or learn).

And the parents.. are just as bad if not worse. They whine and complain like toddlers when their "prince//princess" doesn't get his/her way. The kid ends up not being able to make any decisions or cope when things get difficult.

Mt2G1012 · July 2010

t.bird:
LCB34:
OMG love that pup - mine looked like that (but with long hair) when we brought them home!
Weiner dogs are awesome!

that is a true statement.

this is why i have 2. if i could have more i would- but the husband put his foot down. one day...

I want to have a poll. How many wiener dog owners here and how many have more than 1? I have two, 6 1/2 yrs and 3 1/2 yrs. I would probably be a crazy doxie lady if I wasn't married. I love their personalities and pretty much everything about them. I volunteer at a doxie rescue and would take a lot of them home if I could. The only reason I don't have 3 is because DH would divorce me. He is not a dog person, but knows I am and allows me to have 2. He loves them, but could do without.

wife1014 · July 2010

cinema_goddess:
Mrs.Johns:
lissasue3:

NY Mama:
I guess I have my sensitive pants on today but this irked me. DH and I have worked hard for everything in our lives and were working on saving for a down payment on a house but things happened. DHs mom got really sick and we had to do alot of travel and take time off, etc. DHs mom died and left him money. That is what we used for the down payment on our house. I would give my house back in a second for our old apartment or a different house if we could have DHs mom back. I don't happen to think we are pathetic people because we used money from a parent to put a down payment on a house.
Who said they are pathetic people?
I think you are being a little sensitive about it because it involved DH's mom's death.

And this whole convo started because we were less impressed with the house someone was able to afford now that someone else gifted them money. Meaning without that gift they would not have been able to buy that specific house at that specific time.

I said pathetic in my OP and looking back it was probably a poor word choice. I don't think it's pathetic but I am never as impressed with someone's house if I know that their parents helped them.

I really don't understand this attitude. If someone's parents offered to help with a down payment, or as in LCB's case, money was made available to them for use as a down payment, why should that person say no? Because American culture tells us that there is something wrong with accepting money from parents (or anyone for that matter)? Because you should just wait for good things if you can't afford them with your own paycheck, even if someone is willing to give you money? Pride?

I find it to be absurd as well. My father-in-law is a very successful man and my husband is his only child. In no way would we refuse anything from his dad or ask of anything. Do we consider a hand-out...not at all! My husband never asks or expects anything from his dad but it is given to us, whether it be the downpayment for our home (which we were buying regardless), a free airline ticket, college funds for our children, or a check for new baby furniture. Personally, we are very fortuante to have such a generous loving man in our lives.

My parents, although don't have much, would give their children anything they do have. I think this the traditional role of parents and should be our role 25-35 years from now.

missesru · July 2010

Mrs.Johns:
FancyFeet10:

Mrs.Johns:
Along the lines of the house thing.... If I hear your parents either 1. paid your down payment or 2. helped with the down payment I am immediately NOT impressed by your home purchase. Immediately. I don't care if it's a freaking castle with a cherry on top. In my eyes a home is something that you should work hard for and taking money for a down payment is pretty pathetic. Even if my parents offered it to me I don't think I could have accepted it because that would take away from the fact that we did it all by ourselves.

My parents have offered to help b/c that is what their parents did for them. We live in a very HCOL area and the minimum down payment is 3.5%. A modest townhouse around here is at least $320,000 (i.e. down payment is $11,200). I know very few people who have that kind of money just sitting in an account (and yes, both of us work and save as much as we can). Will we pay them back if we accept their offer? Yup. Do I think it's pathetic? Nope.

I live right outside of Boston and we bought our own house with no help. It's still a handout. That's why it's hard to buy a house, because you have to be patient while you save.

LOVE THIS. exactly x 100.

There is also the option to moving to a lower COL area. People are full of excuses when they are justifying their "entitlement".

Mrs.Johns · July 2010

melissa4252008:

Do a lot of people openly say/tell you that their parents helped them out with the down payment? I'm not being snarky, I'm just curious.

I've always played financial matters VERY close to the vest. My parents were that way when I was growing up too. Aside from posting it here, I don't think anyone aside from my Mom and Dad know that we used inheritance money for our down payment. I can't imagine telling people that.

But like I said, I'm typically super secretive when it comes to money and finances.

I am super secretive about it too.

Normally, I hear it from family members or whatever. Like the parents give the $ and then go around telling everyone that they gave their kids the down payment. I think that's really crappy. If the parents are going to gift the kids the money to help them out, they should zip it. ::shrug::

t.bird · July 2010

LCB34:
t.bird:
LCB34:
OMG love that pup - mine looked like that (but with long hair) when we brought them home!
Weiner dogs are awesome!

that is a true statement.

this is why i have 2. if i could have more i would- but the husband put his foot down. one day...

We have 2 as well and are just the opposite. Alex wants a 3rd and I say no - at least not until we get this baby thing under control!

it's funny because i finally convinced him & we we DID pick out a 3rd one in Dec- and then i freaked out because the thought of another puppy...oy. but i couldn't say no, so i asked my MIL if she wanted a new puppy (their dog had just died).

thank God she said yes because otherwise i'd have wound up with 3 & probab;y gone BSC.

so now my in-laws have him & it's a win-win. heh.

this is him:

mrsf123 · July 2010

OK. In regards to all this talk about being unimpressed about home buying.

It's so easy to say that you're unimpressed with being gifted money for a downpayment if you live somewhere you can buy a beautiful home for $100,000 or even $300,000. I live in NYC. If you want a 2 bedroom apartment, it's a million dollars. THen a lot of co-ops require that you put 40% down upfront. Were of you were able to save $400,000 in cash by the time you were 26? Ok then I'm unimpressed with your home purchase.

See how that goes?

My girlfriend bought a home for $700,000. Her parents gifted them $20,000 towards the downpayment. She put 20% down. If she worked hard to save $120,000 for a downpayment and her parents gifted her the last $20,000, that's still more than most of you had to save for your downpayments.

All that having been said, I wish I lived in an area of the country where I could buy a house for less money and am not judging you. I'm just trying to get you to see a different perspective. You don't know how much of the downpayment for LCB's home was paid for by her college fund. Maybe she saved more for her downpayment than you had to!

MissNikki007 · July 2010

lilmgirl:
t.bird:
MissNikki007:

I don't like dogs. In fact, I'm kinda afraid of them.

::gasp::

but but but...how can you be afraid of this:

i think you should get a weiner dog. cause no one doesn't like a weiner dog!

Or this? This is my first:

Okay, okay. Touche. But what about this?

Or:

Dear God. Someone hold me.

Emjay221 · July 2010

Here's a confession... I think it sucks when it's called flame free confession and people start getting ripped to shreds.

Also... how hard it is to take the last 20 posts out of a quote??

All you have to do is leave [ quote user="Emjay221" ] at the top and "[ quote ]" at the bottom... and pull the rest of the crap out that doesn't need to be in there. Just quote what you are currently referring to... not the past 12 posts in the thread. That's kind of annoying... and it gets hard to see who is saying what.

Mt2G1012 · July 2010

t.bird:
LCB34:
t.bird:
LCB34:
OMG love that pup - mine looked like that (but with long hair) when we brought them home!
Weiner dogs are awesome!

that is a true statement.

this is why i have 2. if i could have more i would- but the husband put his foot down. one day...

We have 2 as well and are just the opposite. Alex wants a 3rd and I say no - at least not until we get this baby thing under control!

it's funny because i finally convinced him & we we DID pick out a 3rd one in Dec- and then i freaked out because the thought of another puppy...oy. but i couldn't say no, so i asked my MIL if she wanted a new puppy (their dog had just died).

thank God she said yes because otherwise i'd have wound up with 3 & probab;y gone BSC.

so now my in-laws have him & it's a win-win. heh.

this is him:

Oh My Freakin' God!! I love him! I love the dapple tan. How could you not keep him?!? Here are mine as adults: I don't have a puppy pic at work.

FancyFeet10 · July 2010

missesru:
Mrs.Johns:
FancyFeet10:

Mrs.Johns:
Along the lines of the house thing.... If I hear your parents either 1. paid your down payment or 2. helped with the down payment I am immediately NOT impressed by your home purchase. Immediately. I don't care if it's a freaking castle with a cherry on top. In my eyes a home is something that you should work hard for and taking money for a down payment is pretty pathetic. Even if my parents offered it to me I don't think I could have accepted it because that would take away from the fact that we did it all by ourselves.

My parents have offered to help b/c that is what their parents did for them. We live in a very HCOL area and the minimum down payment is 3.5%. A modest townhouse around here is at least $320,000 (i.e. down payment is $11,200). I know very few people who have that kind of money just sitting in an account (and yes, both of us work and save as much as we can). Will we pay them back if we accept their offer? Yup. Do I think it's pathetic? Nope.

I live right outside of Boston and we bought our own house with no help. It's still a handout. That's why it's hard to buy a house, because you have to be patient while you save.

LOVE THIS. exactly x 100.

There is also the option to moving to a lower COL area. People are full of excuses when they are justifying their "entitlement".

Whoa, never did I say I was "entitled" to anything! If you read my posts, you'll see that they offered it to us (without asking, it was a huge surprise to us!), and we haven't decided whether or not we will accept it. The entire area surrounding both my job and DH's is a HCOL area. We already live in the slightly lower COL area (30 min commute) and moving to where it is even lower would probably mean a 1.5 hr commute each way. And to be honest, it doesn't work out moneywise to be that much different (gas, more wear/tear on the car). And no, it's not like we can just find the jobs we do anywhere. Mine is pretty specialized as is DH's.

LCB34 · July 2010

t.bird:

it's funny because i finally convinced him & we we DID pick out a 3rd one in Dec- and then i freaked out because the thought of another puppy...oy. but i couldn't say no, so i asked my MIL if she wanted a new puppy (their dog had just died).

thank God she said yes because otherwise i'd have wound up with 3 & probab;y gone BSC.

so now my in-laws have him & it's a win-win. heh.

this is him:

I love him! So cute!

I can't PIP at work but here is a link to a blog post about mine!

lilmgirl · July 2010

But when you flip them upside down on their back, they look like this:

Venus04d · July 2010

amy052006:
locash:
Venus04d:
MJLab78:
Venus04d:

Why do so many people expect motherhood to be painless these days?

Because these days, everyone wants everything to be painless and easy without effort on their part.

That annoys me to no end. I am a firmer believer in "you reap what you sow". I WANT having a family and building our lives together to be a challenge. I WANT to overcome obstacles. I truly believe these are the things that make you appreciate the things and people you have in your life.

Ugh, why in the world does a woman who chooses to not breastfeed automatically equate to her thinking motherhood is going to be painless and not challenging. Plenty of babies grow up healthy on formula. Who are you to decide that it's just because she wants life to be easy-peasy. Such a stupid argument. Oh, and FF doesn't mean she's eliminating pains and challenges.
Ditto.
The mommy martyrdom described above is flat out cringe worthy.

Because she said hearing about things like bleeding nipples and leakage makes her not want to BF. That sounds like "I think this is the best for my baby, but since it hurts, I'm not going to do it." I have no problem with people who choose to FF for reasons based on other reasons, just not "But it will hurt..." reasons. If you think FF is best for your LO, rock on, but if you think BF is best and don't do it because of pain, that's a ridiculous cop out.

t.bird · July 2010

LCB34:
t.bird:

it's funny because i finally convinced him & we we DID pick out a 3rd one in Dec- and then i freaked out because the thought of another puppy...oy. but i couldn't say no, so i asked my MIL if she wanted a new puppy (their dog had just died).

thank God she said yes because otherwise i'd have wound up with 3 & probab;y gone BSC.

so now my in-laws have him & it's a win-win. heh.

this is him:

I love him! So cute!

I can't PIP at work but here is a link to a blog post about mine!

the long haired ones are so adorable! yours are so pretty! are they minis?

we had to go with short haired because of the husbands fears of shedding:

cessna is a mini & maximus ended up being a standard- they told us mini but he kept growing....and growing. he's like a giant.

melissa4252008 · July 2010

Every time we spend time with one of my SILs and her kids, I thank god that her kids are significantly older than ours will be, which means they hopefully won't be much of an influence over them. They make me insane.

Mt2G1012 · July 2010

LCB34:
I love him! So cute!

I can't PIP at work but here is a link to a blog post about mine!

Yours are adorable!

I also love the chocolate tan. I can't decide when I do get another one if it will be dapple tan or chocolate tan.

Mt2G1012 · July 2010

lilmgirl:
But when you flip them upside down on their back, they look like this:

That is pretty funny!

t.bird · July 2010

heatherm818:
t.bird:
LCB34:
t.bird:
LCB34:
OMG love that pup - mine looked like that (but with long hair) when we brought them home!
Weiner dogs are awesome!

that is a true statement.

this is why i have 2. if i could have more i would- but the husband put his foot down. one day...

We have 2 as well and are just the opposite. Alex wants a 3rd and I say no - at least not until we get this baby thing under control!

it's funny because i finally convinced him & we we DID pick out a 3rd one in Dec- and then i freaked out because the thought of another puppy...oy. but i couldn't say no, so i asked my MIL if she wanted a new puppy (their dog had just died).

thank God she said yes because otherwise i'd have wound up with 3 & probab;y gone BSC.

so now my in-laws have him & it's a win-win. heh.

this is him:

Oh My Freakin' God!! I love him! I love the dapple tan. How could you not keep him?!? Here are mine as adults: I don't have a puppy pic at work.

believe me- it was hard. but i see him all the time & i don't have to take care of him. lol!

and omg- they're so cute! we went with the reds, but i looove the b&t's. and the dapples- whatever, i love them all!!!

well, i'm not too keen on the wire haired, but i won't kick them outta bed

Mt2G1012 · July 2010

t.bird:
the long haired ones are so adorable! yours are so pretty! are they minis?

we had to go with short haired because of the husbands fears of shedding:

cessna is a mini & maximus ended up being a standard- they told us mini but he kept growing....and growing. he's like a giant.

Us same with shedding, but it was my allergies. I love the long haired though. Maybe I'll get one next and deal with it. And Maximus's face is priceless and a typical wiener dog face!

LCB34 · July 2010

t.bird:

the long haired ones are so adorable! yours are so pretty! are they minis?

They really don't shed bad at all - one big shed in the summer is all we've had to deal with. And, if you time grooming perfectly, it isn't that noticeable.

Yes, they are both minis but Sadie (the older one) is a bit fat right now. She weighs about 13 pounds and should really only be 10-11 based on her frame.

Oliver is still growing (he is only 10 months) but will probably stay under 12 pounds. Though, he may be a bit more tweenie in size than mini.

They have the same parents and really do look so much alike!

Yours are precious!

locash · July 2010

Venus04d:

Because she said hearing about things like bleeding nipples and leakage makes her not want to BF. That sounds like "I think this is the best for my baby, but since it hurts, I'm not going to do it." I have no problem with people who choose to FF for reasons based on other reasons, just not "But it will hurt..." reasons. If you think FF is best for your LO, rock on, but if you think BF is best and don't do it because of pain, that's a ridiculous cop out.

Yeah, and she has every right to not want to do it for whatever the reason. There's an alternative to BF that is just fine for babies. Regardless of the reason why she chooses to not do it. But again, it's not like women who don't BF think life is going to be a breeze. That's a total joke and that's what you were saying.

I have no intention of even trying to BF. I plan to pump and bottle feed if I can. If that doesn't work, it's FF all the way. Why? Because I simply do not want to do it. And I still think I'm going to be a hell of a mother. Oh, and I still think motherhood is going to be challenging and painful, even without the physical pain of BF.

kehgirl · July 2010

MissNikki007:
lilmgirl:
t.bird:
MissNikki007:

I don't like dogs. In fact, I'm kinda afraid of them.

::gasp::

but but but...how can you be afraid of this:

i think you should get a weiner dog. cause no one doesn't like a weiner dog!

Or this? This is my first:

Okay, okay. Touche. But what about this?

Or:

Dear God. Someone hold me.

I loooove rots

MJHershey · July 2010

lilmgirl:
But when you flip them upside down on their back, they look like this:

Awww... or you get crazy hyper puppy face...

Mt2G1012 · July 2010

t.bird:
believe me- it was hard. but i see him all the time & i don't have to take care of him. lol!

and omg- they're so cute! we went with the reds, but i looove the b&t's. and the dapples- whatever, i love them all!!!

well, i'm not too keen on the wire haired, but i won't kick them outta bed

Me neither, They are cute, but don't really look like wiener dogs, more like shitzus or something like that. and PS. I love the pic of your DD, she is absolutely adorable and I hope my daughter is half as cute as yours!

kensbride08 · July 2010

Cat703:
Wish that I could SAH and have a nanny.

this

Im seriously worried how I will ever catch up on sleep now that I will have 2. With DD I was able to sleep when she did but I dont know how that will work with a 15 month old

Bailey81 · July 2010

Venus04d:
amy052006:
locash:
Venus04d:
MJLab78:
Venus04d:

Why do so many people expect motherhood to be painless these days?
Because these days, everyone wants everything to be painless and easy without effort on their part.

That annoys me to no end. I am a firmer believer in "you reap what you sow". I WANT having a family and building our lives together to be a challenge. I WANT to overcome obstacles. I truly believe these are the things that make you appreciate the things and people you have in your life.
Ugh, why in the world does a woman who chooses to not breastfeed automatically equate to her thinking motherhood is going to be painless and not challenging. Plenty of babies grow up healthy on formula. Who are you to decide that it's just because she wants life to be easy-peasy. Such a stupid argument. Oh, and FF doesn't mean she's eliminating pains and challenges.
Ditto.
The mommy martyrdom described above is flat out cringe worthy.
Because she said hearing about things like bleeding nipples and leakage makes her not want to BF. That sounds like "I think this is the best for my baby, but since it hurts, I'm not going to do it." I have no problem with people who choose to FF for reasons based on other reasons, just not "But it will hurt..." reasons. If you think FF is best for your LO, rock on, but if you think BF is best and don't do it because of pain, that's a ridiculous cop out.

With apologies for the wall of quotes:

I said it makes me want to breastfeed less. Not that it would stop me.

The funny part is that I'm taking hypnobirthing hoping to avoid the epidural. It's not about pain. I'm simply acknowledging that there are aspects of motherhood that are going to suck--which is not the same as saying those things are going to make me throw in the towel.

CinemaGoddess · July 2010

Venus04d:
amy052006:
locash:
Venus04d:
MJLab78:
Venus04d:

Why do so many people expect motherhood to be painless these days?

Because these days, everyone wants everything to be painless and easy without effort on their part.

That annoys me to no end. I am a firmer believer in "you reap what you sow". I WANT having a family and building our lives together to be a challenge. I WANT to overcome obstacles. I truly believe these are the things that make you appreciate the things and people you have in your life.

Ugh, why in the world does a woman who chooses to not breastfeed automatically equate to her thinking motherhood is going to be painless and not challenging. Plenty of babies grow up healthy on formula. Who are you to decide that it's just because she wants life to be easy-peasy. Such a stupid argument. Oh, and FF doesn't mean she's eliminating pains and challenges.

Ditto.

The mommy martyrdom described above is flat out cringe worthy.

Because she said hearing about things like bleeding nipples and leakage makes her not want to BF. That sounds like "I think this is the best for my baby, but since it hurts, I'm not going to do it." I have no problem with people who choose to FF for reasons based on other reasons, just not "But it will hurt..." reasons. If you think FF is best for your LO, rock on, but if you think BF is best and don't do it because of pain, that's a ridiculous cop out.

The OP (of the original BF confession) never said she would only FF because she was afraid of the possible pain associated with BFing. She said the pain made her not want to BF, not that she wouldn't BF.

The idea of the pain of childbirth or a c-section makes me not want to give birth, but these babies have to get out of me somehow. I'll do it because I have no other choice, but that doesn't mean I have to like the pain or think it's enjoyable because I'm giving birth to new life.

Venus04d · July 2010

locash:
Venus04d:

Because she said hearing about things like bleeding nipples and leakage makes her not want to BF. That sounds like "I think this is the best for my baby, but since it hurts, I'm not going to do it." I have no problem with people who choose to FF for reasons based on other reasons, just not "But it will hurt..." reasons. If you think FF is best for your LO, rock on, but if you think BF is best and don't do it because of pain, that's a ridiculous cop out.

Yeah, and she has every right to not want to do it for whatever the reason. There's an alternative to BF that is just fine for babies. Regardless of the reason why she chooses to not do it. But again, it's not like women who don't BF think life is going to be a breeze. That's a total joke and that's what you were saying.

I have no intention of even trying to BF. I plan to pump and bottle feed if I can. If that doesn't work, it's FF all the way. Why? Because I simply do not want to do it. And I still think I'm going to be a hell of a mother. Oh, and I still think motherhood is going to be challenging and painful, even without the physical pain of BF.

I will say once again that I have ZERO problem with FF. I really don't care how people feed their children as long as they're fed. I was simply expressing how sick I am of constantly hearing people whine about pain. A friend of mine has wanted a baby for years, but complains endlessly about every minor little pregnancy twinge, is going to FF solely because it hurts, requested a C section (and got denied) because she didn't want to go through labor, etc. I really don't get wrapped up in all the how to raise your baby debates. BF vs FF, CIO vs STS, natural labor vs drugs, etc. I don't care. People should do whatever is right for them. I just hate all the whining I see around me about things that hurt. It's part of it. Get over it or don't do it.

CinemaGoddess · July 2010

lissasue3:

I just ate a 12 inch Italian sub in about 10 minutes.

If it wasn't for cinema_goddess who talked about people not eating enough (and complaining they are hungry) then I would have ordered a 6 inch and been confessing that I'm still hungry.

Sorry. Embarrassed I just find it amusing when women say, "I just ate an apple, a granola bar, a bowl of cereal and a piece of toast. I'm such a heifer!" It reminds me of Clueless. "I had a handful of fat free popcorn and three peanut M&Ms. I'm such a cow."

If you're hungry, EAT. You're not going to kill your baby by eating more. FFS.

::is considering second breakfast::

LCB34 · July 2010

lissasue3:

I just ate a 12 inch Italian sub in about 10 minutes.

If it wasn't for cinema_goddess who talked about people not eating enough (and complaining they are hungry) then I would have ordered a 6 inch and been confessing that I'm still hungry.

That sounds so good!

I ate a nasty lean cuisine and want to complain about being hungry but, I know I will be stuffing my face with cake in about 1 hour for my work baby shower so I saved room on purpose!

Kimee13 · July 2010

locash:
Venus04d:
MJLab78:
Venus04d:

Why do so many people expect motherhood to be painless these days?

Because these days, everyone wants everything to be painless and easy without effort on their part.

That annoys me to no end. I am a firmer believer in "you reap what you sow". I WANT having a family and building our lives together to be a challenge. I WANT to overcome obstacles. I truly believe these are the things that make you appreciate the things and people you have in your life.

Ugh, why in the world does a woman who chooses to not breastfeed automatically equate to her thinking motherhood is going to be painless and not challenging. Plenty of babies grow up healthy on formula. Who are you to decide that it's just because she wants life to be easy-peasy. Such a stupid argument. Oh, and FF doesn't mean she's eliminating pains and challenges.

I'm so tired of EBF's thinking they are automatically going to be better mothers than EFF's - giving your kid your boob does not make you mother of the year. I don't care how you feed your child as long as they're well taken care of and happy.

altandra · July 2010

My little brother called me sissy growing up until he was like 15. I hated him for it.

ETA: This was in response to someone else's post... "I don't want my LO calling my DD "sissy". I can't stand it, and some people are already referring to her as the "big sissy". It really makes my skin crawl."

lzybeanie · July 2010

Does it REALLY matter if a parent gives a child money towards their down payment (or for whatever...a vacation, a wedding, a freaking Rolls Royce if that's what they want to give them)?! Why do we care what other people spend their money on...if the parents have the money, and are not going into debt to help/bail their child out, then why does it matter? Sure it's a different story if the child asks for or feels entitled to the money to buy something that they can't afford, but if a parent has the $$ (and let's be honest, it would probably just end being an inheritance eventually), and the recipient of the $$ will be able to make the monthly payments after the down payment has been made then what is the big deal? Should the parents just sit on their money and never be generous to their child? Yes, it would be annoying to me too if they bragged about their house and made comments about your house that you paid for with your own money, but they can be shut down easily with a 'well, we weren't give a wad of cash for our down payment so this is what we can afford.' I just don't understand why people care about what was gifted to someone else without any sense of entitlement. I mean, we used our wedding $$ plus the equity in our condo to purchase our current home...should we feel like other people payed for our new home just b/c we didn't physically earn it? I just don't have it in me to care that much about how other people pay for things, I guess.

CinemaGoddess · July 2010

lissasue3:
cinema_goddess:
lissasue3:

I just ate a 12 inch Italian sub in about 10 minutes.

If it wasn't for cinema_goddess who talked about people not eating enough (and complaining they are hungry) then I would have ordered a 6 inch and been confessing that I'm still hungry.

Sorry. I just find it amusing when women say, "I just ate an apple, a granola bar, a bowl of cereal and a piece of toast. I'm such a heifer!" It reminds me of Clueless. "I had a handful of fat free popcorn and three peanut M&Ms. I'm such a cow."

If you're hungry, EAT. You're not going to kill your baby by eating more. FFS.

::is considering second breakfast::

Nothing to be sorry about. I may not list what I eat but I'm always hungry and have only gained 3 pounds so I decided I must not be eating enough.
(The problem is that nothing is really appealing... but the Italian sub was goooood.)

Yes Cake Pizza

Mrs.Johns · July 2010

Lissa--- I am about to mow a tuna sub with extra pickles and chips!! LOL

Now I kind of want an Italian... there is always tomorrow! Big Smile

CFH79 · July 2010

MrsG NC:
Estellankase:
MrsG NC:

My mother (who I have a fairly interesting relationship with) insists that LO should call her "Gigi" and talks about this constantly. It is pretty much one of the only things she talks about regarding LO. She tells everyone how she is not grandma, she is "Gigi".

I'm going to make sure LO calls her Grandma.

I'm just curious, why Gigi? My grandmother and I thought it would be cute if LO called her Gigi but because Great Grandma=GG=GiGi and LO has two great-grandmas (the another one claimed great-grandma a while back). My mom will just be grandma.

Simply the fact that she does not want to be called "Grandma". She has never flat out said it, but she HATES the idea of being called Grandma. She is not one to act her age.

Ha! My mom wants to be called the queen mother. Um no. Thankfully, she knows that that is NOT going to happen! However, she hasn't picked what name she DOES want to go by.

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2010

wife1014:
cinema_goddess:
Mrs.Johns:
lissasue3:

NY Mama:
I guess I have my sensitive pants on today but this irked me. DH and I have worked hard for everything in our lives and were working on saving for a down payment on a house but things happened. DHs mom got really sick and we had to do alot of travel and take time off, etc. DHs mom died and left him money. That is what we used for the down payment on our house. I would give my house back in a second for our old apartment or a different house if we could have DHs mom back. I don't happen to think we are pathetic people because we used money from a parent to put a down payment on a house.
Who said they are pathetic people?
I think you are being a little sensitive about it because it involved DH's mom's death.

And this whole convo started because we were less impressed with the house someone was able to afford now that someone else gifted them money. Meaning without that gift they would not have been able to buy that specific house at that specific time.

I said pathetic in my OP and looking back it was probably a poor word choice. I don't think it's pathetic but I am never as impressed with someone's house if I know that their parents helped them.

I really don't understand this attitude. If someone's parents offered to help with a down payment, or as in LCB's case, money was made available to them for use as a down payment, why should that person say no? Because American culture tells us that there is something wrong with accepting money from parents (or anyone for that matter)? Because you should just wait for good things if you can't afford them with your own paycheck, even if someone is willing to give you money? Pride?

I find it to be absurd as well. My father-in-law is a very successful man and my husband is his only child. In no way would we refuse anything from his dad or ask of anything. Do we consider a hand-out...not at all! My husband never asks or expects anything from his dad but it is given to us, whether it be the downpayment for our home (which we were buying regardless), a free airline ticket, college funds for our children, or a check for new baby furniture. Personally, we are very fortuante to have such a generous loving man in our lives.

My parents, although don't have much, would give their children anything they do have. I think this the traditional role of parents and should be our role 25-35 years from now.

On the contrary, I find it absurd to take money from family, even if they can afford it and they offer it! My parents offer me money all.the.time. When my car broke down and it was $1,000, they offered to pay. When they wanted to pay for my son's furniture, I bought it before they could do so. I don't have a problem if they want to put cash in DS's college funds for holidays or whatever, but things for me personally? Never and when things are offered I refuse. I feel pride in paying my own way. I could have gotten a bigger house with the money my parents had leftover from college tuition, but I didn't. I felt that saving that money for my children's future was a better investment. Since we didn't need the money (or a huge house), why use it? We were just fine buying a house in foreclosure, putting our own money and work into it, and now we have a nice house with a good amount of money in equity in the house. When we sell it, we'll use the profit for a down payment on a bigger house. I could have had a bigger house from the get-go, but I didn't need instant gratification. It will feel 20 times better when we get that bigger house from our smart choices and our hard work, and it's a much better lesson than getting it handed to us.

I just couldn't take stuff from my family, regardless of how wealthy they are. I'd be embarassed. I'd never have too much pride to ask for help if we really needed it (which we'd pay back, of course), but since we don't need anyone's help I don't get why I should just take it solely because it's offered. My DH's income pays for us just fine. Not knocking yours or anyone else's choices, I just can't imagine.

Teal1113 · July 2010

MissNikki007:
lilmgirl:
t.bird:
MissNikki007:

I don't like dogs. In fact, I'm kinda afraid of them.

::gasp::

but but but...how can you be afraid of this:

i think you should get a weiner dog. cause no one doesn't like a weiner dog!

Or this? This is my first:

Okay, okay. Touche. But what about this?

Or:

Dear God. Someone hold me.

Don't be afraid, not all rotties are bad, they just have bad owners who train them to be mean.....I have a 105 lb rottie named Stella, the most she will do to hurt anyone is lick them to death.

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