Flame Free Confessions, anyone?

melissa4252008 · July 2010

The majority of the down payment for our house was inheritance money from when my grandmother passed away 6 years ago. Surprise

My mother put it in a interest earning account when gram passed, and told me whenever I wanted to use it, to let her know. So, when DH and I were trying to decide where to move to next after I finished my masters, we started looking at the cost of housing in RI where we are from. When we realized many of the houses we were checking out online would be cheaper per month than the rent we were paying at the time, we told my parents we wanted to use the inheritance for a down payment.

I'm pretty happy with how I chose to use that money. Judge away!

CinemaGoddess · July 2010

gemrae1225:
LCB34:
Mrs.Johns:

lissasue3:
I agree with MrsJ. To me that's still Mommy and Daddy money. It's great that you worked your butt off but it was not your earned money.

Yeah, it's still not as impressive as doing it yourself but at least it's not as much of a handout as other people get.

So my financial stability is not as impressive since I got a scholarship to college, had money left in my college fund, and used it responsibly. Noted.

I am just doing well b/c of "mommy and daddy" money. Point taken.

LCB, I genuinely love 99% of your posts. You have a lot of good insight and an upbeat attitude. I like that. Today you made me laugh out loud. Thank you.

I find it amusing that you have the audacity to look down at those who choose different life paths, (Im referring to the SAHW/SAHM post) but you feel ENTITLED to a reward/hand-out for something you were supposed to do anyway. Isn't it our jobs to do the best we can at something? I worked my a$$, saved my a$$ off, and paid for my own house. I would be mortified if I were given a hand out that I felt I didn't necessarily deserve.

I read LCB's post completely differently. I read it as her parents saved money for her college. She ended up paying her way through college. Her parents money is still there, waiting for her to use it, because it was saved for her. If her parents had said, "Nope, that money is for college and college alone and if you don't use it for that, we're taking it back." it would be one thing for her to use it for her house.

But since that doesn't seem to be the case, I would assume that her parents would free up that money for her to use in any way she sees fit. I don't see that as "free money" or a "handout" since it was already set aside for her use from the very beginning.

Saying that she shouldn't somehow use that money because she's not using it for college doesn't make any sense whatsoever to me.

Monkey304 · July 2010

lissa_emily:
Monkey304:
amy052006:
KJmashup:

flgirl79:
I resent my sister for not playing a more active role in my kids' lives. I get that she is enjoying the single, kid-free life, but she could at least hang out with them once in a while.

I can relate. My LO isn't here yet, but my single, kid-free sister has not been very involved in my pregnancy at all. In fact, she said she would not be attending my baby shower if it had been held during Labor Day weekend because she's going to the lake and getting trashed that entire weekend. She's 33. Nice, huh?

Um, I am pregnant and I wouldn't attend a baby shower for anyone on Labor Day weekend. Or any other holiday for that matter.

I think her point was her sister said she wasn't coming because she was going to get drunk.

lol wooosh right over her head!

Reading really isn't people's strong suit this week!

LCB34 · July 2010

gemrae1225:
LCB34:
Mrs.Johns:

lissasue3:
I agree with MrsJ. To me that's still Mommy and Daddy money. It's great that you worked your butt off but it was not your earned money.

Yeah, it's still not as impressive as doing it yourself but at least it's not as much of a handout as other people get.

So my financial stability is not as impressive since I got a scholarship to college, had money left in my college fund, and used it responsibly. Noted.

I am just doing well b/c of "mommy and daddy" money. Point taken.

LCB, I genuinely love 99% of your posts. You have a lot of good insight and an upbeat attitude. I like that. Today you made me laugh out loud. Thank you.

I find it amusing that you have the audacity to look down at those who choose different life paths, (Im referring to the SAHW/SAHM post) but you feel ENTITLED to a reward/hand-out for something you were supposed to do anyway. Isn't it our jobs to do the best we can at something? I worked my a$$, saved my a$$ off, and paid for my own house. I would be mortified if I were given a hand out that I felt I didn't necessarily deserve.

I didn't demand the money from my parents - and I didn't expect it in the least.

However, my parents saved for my college, didn't need to use it for my college (well we used it for living expenses and such - not tuition and other things covered by scholarship money), and made the decision on their own that anything left over in any of their 3 children?s college funds would be given to the child. We did not know this going in (well my brother does now b/c he is so much younger and saw what happened - I did not b/c my older sister had not graduated from college yet).

I had no sense of entitlement about it. I went to school, maintained my grades and scholarships, and received a lump sum of what I did not use after graduating.

I will do the same for my children ? if I save specifically for them I will not take the money back b/c they have done something good.

Please show me where I stated that I was entitled to that money...b/c I'm sure you will not find it.

wife1014 · July 2010

I am pretty damn happy my husbands father gave us a fabulous monetary gift when we were buying our home. Granted we were buying it regardless of that gift, but it helped with an even better downpayment. That large downpayment means our mortgage is low enough where I can stay home with my children and still be able to overpay to ensure my home is paid off before 30 years. It also ables us to put more money into savings and retirement funds. So, maybe this means we got a "handout"...but to me it means he shared some of his quality of life with us. Judge me, I could care less.

mchupie · July 2010

lissa_emily:
mchupie:

I haven't been to Walmart in 8 or so years. I just can't bring myself to shop there, even though there is one right down the street and I'm the kind of person who always wants to get the lowest price on everything.

I hate Walmart too.

So glad I'm not alone

I just caught up on this massive post, I'm so sorry you aren't getting a shower from your Aunts, that really sucks

KatieM1106 · July 2010

mchupie:
I haven't been to Walmart in 8 or so years. I just can't bring myself to shop there, even though there is one right down the street and I'm the kind of person who always wants to get the lowest price on everything.

Good for you! I have a hard time, too, when my friends have something cool, and they tell me they got it for $___ at Walmart. But stay strong!

FancyFeet10 · July 2010

Mrs.Johns:
FancyFeet10:
Why is it a handout if I didn't ask for and we're paying them back (that's if we even accept their offer). I can understand people who go looking for the money, but they approached us, not the other way around. And no, it's not like we even complained/talked to them about it. We are being patient while we save, but they bring it up, not us!

If you didn't ask for it and you are surely paying it back then it's a loan. However, if you don't pay it back then it's a handout. Personally, I'd want to wait and do the whole thing myself!

We definitely did not ask them for it and we will pay them back as fast as we can (once again, if we even decide to accept their offer). We would love to do it completely ourselves, but there are reasons why we don't have that money saved up (nothing I can go into on here, but they are valid)

kehgirl · July 2010

srthomas88:
kehgirl:
bookworm10:

I judge people who do not like dogs for no apparent reason. If teh person had a negative experience I can respect that but those who just generally don't like them are a little suspect to me.

I also do not like when people come into my house and try to tell me how my dogs should not do this or that. My dogs are very well trained
(they slip up here and there) and I am a very overly responsible pet owner. Please do not try to tell me how to "raise" my dogs. They live here... you don't... if you do not like them you are welcome to use the door

I wish I could say this to my MIL and SIL. They refuse to come in the house if the dog is out. So DH makes me put the dog outside or in the garage I hate that and I wish I could tell them to fvck off and stop being such babies.

I would put MIL and SIL in the garage! My MIL hated my dog the first time she came to visit. Kept telling me, "I'm just not a dog person" and would push my dog away if it was within 5 feet of her. Made my blood boil!

My SIL and MIL wont even come inside the fricken house! WTF! And DH doesn't stick up for the dog since he's not a fan of pets either.

Venus04d · July 2010

MJLab78:
Venus04d:

Why do so many people expect motherhood to be painless these days?

Because these days, everyone wants everything to be painless and easy without effort on their part.

That annoys me to no end. I am a firmer believer in "you reap what you sow". I WANT having a family and building our lives together to be a challenge. I WANT to overcome obstacles. I truly believe these are the things that make you appreciate the things and people you have in your life.

insertclevername · July 2010

lissasue3:
LCB34:

Mrs.Johns:
Along the lines of the house thing.... If I hear your parents either 1. paid your down payment or 2. helped with the down payment I am immediately NOT impressed by your home purchase. Immediately. I don't care if it's a freaking castle with a cherry on top. In my eyes a home is something that you should work hard for and taking money for a down payment is pretty pathetic. Even if my parents offered it to me I don't think I could have accepted it because that would take away from the fact that we did it all by ourselves.

I agree with this to an extent. If a couple is looking to mom and dad to put forth the money then yes I agree.

However, I got a pretty big scholarship to college - my parents also had a full college fund ready and waiting. Since I earned my scholarship, my college money was then treated like a trust that I was entitled to at the age of 21. We used it for part of our down payment.

I don't feel like I didn't earn that money - b/c I did. I worked my ass off to get scholarships (and keep them) and the reward was having money post-graduation for something other than my education. It allowed us to buy a home, that we could afford, much sooner.

I agree with MrsJ. To me that's still Mommy and Daddy money. It's great that you worked your butt off but it was not your earned money.

I guess I have my sensitive pants on today but this irked me. DH and I have worked hard for everything in our lives and were working on saving for a down payment on a house but things happened. DHs mom got really sick and we had to do alot of travel and take time off, etc. DHs mom died and left him money. That is what we used for the down payment on our house. I would give my house back in a second for our old apartment or a different house if we could have DHs mom back. I don't happen to think we are pathetic people because we used money from a parent to put a down payment on a house.

KJmashup · July 2010

amy052006:
KJmashup:
flgirl79:
I resent my sister for not playing a more active role in my kids' lives. I get that she is enjoying the single, kid-free life, but she could at least hang out with them once in a while.
I can relate. My LO isn't here yet, but my single, kid-free sister has not been very involved in my pregnancy at all. In fact, she said she would not be attending my baby shower if it had been held during Labor Day weekend because she's going to the lake and getting trashed that entire weekend. She's 33. Nice, huh?
Um, I am pregnant and I wouldn't attend a baby shower for anyone on Labor Day weekend. Or any other holiday for that matter.

Which is why my shower is indeed not during a holiday weekend. However, my real point, I guess, was that my sister would rather go to a kegger, which she does practically every other day anyway, than attend her one and only sister's one and only baby shower. I suppose it wouldn't matter to her whether it were a holiday or not.

Monkey304 · July 2010

amy052006:
Monkey304:
amy052006:
KJmashup:

flgirl79:
I resent my sister for not playing a more active role in my kids' lives. I get that she is enjoying the single, kid-free life, but she could at least hang out with them once in a while.

I can relate. My LO isn't here yet, but my single, kid-free sister has not been very involved in my pregnancy at all. In fact, she said she would not be attending my baby shower if it had been held during Labor Day weekend because she's going to the lake and getting trashed that entire weekend. She's 33. Nice, huh?

Um, I am pregnant and I wouldn't attend a baby shower for anyone on Labor Day weekend. Or any other holiday for that matter.

I think her point was her sister said she wasn't coming because she was going to get drunk.

Like many people due over a summer holiday. Seriously, it is a total selfishbitch time to have a shower. Although, I also can't imagine getting worked up about a single person with no kids not being that into your pregnancy, outside of being glad you are healthy.

I have a single brother. He has his own damn life that doesn't revolve around my uterus.

A sister is family. I'm sorry but if my Sister didn't come to my baby shower because she wanted to get drunk on a long weekend I would be furious.

I don't think that attending a shower is asking them to be "all into your pregnancy".

MissNikki007 · July 2010

I don't like dogs. In fact, I'm kinda afraid of them.

My DD and H would love to have a dog. I won't let them because I can't deal with it.

I guess I'm selfish and I suck.

I don't understand why people would judge someone for not liking dogs, but whatever.

mchupie · July 2010

lilmgirl:
mchupie:

I haven't been to Walmart in 8 or so years. I just can't bring myself to shop there, even though there is one right down the street and I'm the kind of person who always wants to get the lowest price on everything.

Admit it - you just don't want to be on the peopleofwalmart blog

You caught me

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2010

Mrs.Johns:
LCB34:
Mrs.Johns:

lissasue3:
I agree with MrsJ. To me that's still Mommy and Daddy money. It's great that you worked your butt off but it was not your earned money.

Yeah, it's still not as impressive as doing it yourself but at least it's not as much of a handout as other people get.

So my financial stability is not as impressive since I got a scholarship to college, had money left in my college fund, and used it responsibly. Noted.

I am just doing well b/c of "mommy and daddy" money. Point taken.

They could have very well kept the money for themselves or used it to pay for your wedding or saved it for their own retirement. I'm not sure if I had saved for LO's college and they got a scholarship that I'd be handing over the whole thing like a trust. I mean you did work hard and that's awesome, but you still received a large sum from your parents. You'd still have received the scholarships even if there wasn't a college fund waiting.

I agree. I paid for my own house with money DH and I earned (even though I didnt have to pay for college and had money I could use) on our own. There is still a substantial amount of money my parents have in that account, but that will go to my son and future child.

t.bird · July 2010

MissNikki007:

I don't like dogs. In fact, I'm kinda afraid of them.

::gasp::

but but but...how can you be afraid of this:

i think you should get a weiner dog. cause no one doesn't like a weiner dog!

SparkleTart · July 2010

mrsf123:
bookworm10:

I have been losing my cool with my parents as well... and DH whole family... just not to their face. I CANNOT STAND how all over me they are... in person and on the phone. Now I am lucky I ahve great in-laws but the second they heard I was KU, all sense of privacy and personal space went out the window! UGH... no i do not want to discuss the following with my MIL:
discharge

nipples

stretch marks

breast feeding (and what to do if your nipples are dry)

my vagina in general

bowel movements

these just name a few

OH and NO i will not share my name list with you! And stop trying to trick my DH into telling you when I am not around... you were told no... try to deal

ok... i am done

My MIL does the same thing. I'd like to make a plaque or a t-shirt that says this! Seriously, MIL, this is none of your darn business!

Me too! I don't talk to my own mother about these things! It is NOT okay to talk about my nipples!

Monkey304 · July 2010

amy052006:
Monkey304:
amy052006:
Monkey304:
amy052006:
KJmashup:

flgirl79:
I resent my sister for not playing a more active role in my kids' lives. I get that she is enjoying the single, kid-free life, but she could at least hang out with them once in a while.

I can relate. My LO isn't here yet, but my single, kid-free sister has not been very involved in my pregnancy at all. In fact, she said she would not be attending my baby shower if it had been held during Labor Day weekend because she's going to the lake and getting trashed that entire weekend. She's 33. Nice, huh?

Um, I am pregnant and I wouldn't attend a baby shower for anyone on Labor Day weekend. Or any other holiday for that matter.

I think her point was her sister said she wasn't coming because she was going to get drunk.

Like many people due over a summer holiday. Seriously, it is a total selfishbitch time to have a shower. Although, I also can't imagine getting worked up about a single person with no kids not being that into your pregnancy, outside of being glad you are healthy.

I have a single brother. He has his own damn life that doesn't revolve around my uterus.

A sister is family. I'm sorry but if my Sister didn't come to my baby shower because she wanted to get drunk on a long weekend I would be furious.

I don't think that attending a shower is asking them to be "all into your pregnancy".

Asking them to come to your shower over a holiday definitely is. But the OP isn't, and her sister is apparently coming, so I am hard pressed to see what her real issue is.

Asking her sister to attend her baby shower, over a long weekend, is being really involved in her pregnancy? She isn't asking her to attend Lamaze class or the hospital tour.

Are you serious?

Mrs.Johns · July 2010

lissasue3:

NY Mama:
I guess I have my sensitive pants on today but this irked me. DH and I have worked hard for everything in our lives and were working on saving for a down payment on a house but things happened. DHs mom got really sick and we had to do alot of travel and take time off, etc. DHs mom died and left him money. That is what we used for the down payment on our house. I would give my house back in a second for our old apartment or a different house if we could have DHs mom back. I don't happen to think we are pathetic people because we used money from a parent to put a down payment on a house.
Who said they are pathetic people?
I think you are being a little sensitive about it because it involved DH's mom's death.

And this whole convo started because we were less impressed with the house someone was able to afford now that someone else gifted them money. Meaning without that gift they would not have been able to buy that specific house at that specific time.

I said pathetic in my OP and looking back it was probably a poor word choice. I don't think it's pathetic but I am never as impressed with someone's house if I know that their parents helped them.

Also, IMO, an inheritance because someone DIED is not the same thing. Obviously, you'd rather have that person in your life over their money for your house, you're just making the best of a shiity situation at that point.

wife1014 · July 2010

amy052006:
LCB34:
gemrae1225:
LCB34:
Mrs.Johns:

lissasue3:
I agree with MrsJ. To me that's still Mommy and Daddy money. It's great that you worked your butt off but it was not your earned money.

Yeah, it's still not as impressive as doing it yourself but at least it's not as much of a handout as other people get.

So my financial stability is not as impressive since I got a scholarship to college, had money left in my college fund, and used it responsibly. Noted.

I am just doing well b/c of "mommy and daddy" money. Point taken.

LCB, I genuinely love 99% of your posts. You have a lot of good insight and an upbeat attitude. I like that. Today you made me laugh out loud. Thank you.

I find it amusing that you have the audacity to look down at those who choose different life paths, (Im referring to the SAHW/SAHM post) but you feel ENTITLED to a reward/hand-out for something you were supposed to do anyway. Isn't it our jobs to do the best we can at something? I worked my a$$, saved my a$$ off, and paid for my own house. I would be mortified if I were given a hand out that I felt I didn't necessarily deserve.

I didn't demand the money from my parents - and I didn't expect it in the least.

However, my parents saved for my college, didn't need to use it for my college (well we used it for living expenses and such - not tuition and other things covered by scholarship money), and made the decision on their own that anything left over in any of their 3 children?s college funds would be given to the child. We did not know this going in (well my brother does now b/c he is so much younger and saw what happened - I did not b/c my older sister had not graduated from college yet).

I had no sense of entitlement about it. I went to school, maintained my grades and scholarships, and received a lump sum of what I did not use after graduating.

I will do the same for my children ? if I save specifically for them I will not take the money back b/c they have done something good.

Please show me where I stated that I was entitled to that money...b/c I'm sure you will not find it.

Maybe this is more of an unpopular opinion, but I find the never ending hate-on for LCB to be primarily fueled by jealousy. Jesus, it is ridiculous.

Plus, at least she is consistent. Her parents made good money and gave her stuff. She wants to work, make good money, and give her kid stuff. OH THE HORRORS of a family that supports itself and doesn't scrape by!

There are definitely times I give you (LCB) the side-eye with some of your comments, as I am sure you do the same with me. However, I couldn't agree with this more Amy. It is pretty rediculous how everytime LCB states something about her finances or upbringing, everyone jumps all over it. Ladies, get over it. There are successful people in this world and yes some are even on thebump.

Heck, maybe you could even learn a lesson or two from those more fortunate. Work hard, save hard, play easy...

tweedy218 · July 2010

amy052006:
LCB34:
gemrae1225:
LCB34:
Mrs.Johns:

lissasue3:
I agree with MrsJ. To me that's still Mommy and Daddy money. It's great that you worked your butt off but it was not your earned money.

Yeah, it's still not as impressive as doing it yourself but at least it's not as much of a handout as other people get.

So my financial stability is not as impressive since I got a scholarship to college, had money left in my college fund, and used it responsibly. Noted.

I am just doing well b/c of "mommy and daddy" money. Point taken.

LCB, I genuinely love 99% of your posts. You have a lot of good insight and an upbeat attitude. I like that. Today you made me laugh out loud. Thank you.

I find it amusing that you have the audacity to look down at those who choose different life paths, (Im referring to the SAHW/SAHM post) but you feel ENTITLED to a reward/hand-out for something you were supposed to do anyway. Isn't it our jobs to do the best we can at something? I worked my a$$, saved my a$$ off, and paid for my own house. I would be mortified if I were given a hand out that I felt I didn't necessarily deserve.

I didn't demand the money from my parents - and I didn't expect it in the least.

However, my parents saved for my college, didn't need to use it for my college (well we used it for living expenses and such - not tuition and other things covered by scholarship money), and made the decision on their own that anything left over in any of their 3 children?s college funds would be given to the child. We did not know this going in (well my brother does now b/c he is so much younger and saw what happened - I did not b/c my older sister had not graduated from college yet).

I had no sense of entitlement about it. I went to school, maintained my grades and scholarships, and received a lump sum of what I did not use after graduating.

I will do the same for my children ? if I save specifically for them I will not take the money back b/c they have done something good.

Please show me where I stated that I was entitled to that money...b/c I'm sure you will not find it.

Maybe this is more of an unpopular opinion, but I find the never ending hate-on for LCB to be primarily fueled by jealousy. Jesus, it is ridiculous.

Plus, at least she is consistent. Her parents made good money and gave her stuff. She wants to work, make good money, and give her kid stuff. OH THE HORRORS of a family that supports itself and doesn't scrape by!

I agree 100%

mchupie · July 2010

t.bird:
MissNikki007:

I don't like dogs. In fact, I'm kinda afraid of them.

::gasp::

but but but...how can you be afraid of this:

i think you should get a weiner dog. cause no one doesn't like a weiner dog!

OMG if we ever get a dog, that will be it. Sooo cute!

LCB34 · July 2010

t.bird:
MissNikki007:

I don't like dogs. In fact, I'm kinda afraid of them.

::gasp::

but but but...how can you be afraid of this:

i think you should get a weiner dog. cause no one doesn't like a weiner dog!

OMG love that pup - mine looked like that (but with long hair) when we brought them home!

Weiner dogs are awesome!

Venus04d · July 2010

t.bird:
MissNikki007:

I don't like dogs. In fact, I'm kinda afraid of them.

::gasp::

but but but...how can you be afraid of this:

i think you should get a weiner dog. cause no one doesn't like a weiner dog!

A weiner dog bit my ankle in 6th grade! I'm scared of them! That's why my dogs are ginormous.

Monkey304 · July 2010

amy052006:
sylwill:
amy052006:
Monkey304:
A sister is family. I'm sorry but if my Sister didn't come to my baby shower because she wanted to get drunk on a long weekend I would be furious.
I don't think that attending a shower is asking them to be "all into your pregnancy".

Asking them to come to your shower over a holiday definitely is. But the OP isn't, and her sister is apparently coming, so I am hard pressed to see what her real issue is.

Definitely late to the party but I agree that an only sister being asked and expected to attend a baby shower isn't over the top

Really, asking anyone to attend a shower over a holiday is over the top. It is. I'd probably go, but I would 100% judge and side eye the person who planned it, and the mother who agreed to it.

Where I come from, family is family. We aren't talking friends here. When someone in your family, especially your SISTER, is having a baby shower, you attend. Nothing in the world could be more important in my eyes.

MissNikki007 · July 2010

t.bird:
MissNikki007:

I don't like dogs. In fact, I'm kinda afraid of them.

::gasp::

but but but...how can you be afraid of this:

i think you should get a weiner dog. cause no one doesn't like a weiner dog!

Aww, even *I* will agree that's he's pretty cute! :P

KJmashup · July 2010

Monkey304:
amy052006:
Monkey304:
amy052006:
KJmashup:

flgirl79:
I resent my sister for not playing a more active role in my kids' lives. I get that she is enjoying the single, kid-free life, but she could at least hang out with them once in a while.
I can relate. My LO isn't here yet, but my single, kid-free sister has not been very involved in my pregnancy at all. In fact, she said she would not be attending my baby shower if it had been held during Labor Day weekend because she's going to the lake and getting trashed that entire weekend. She's 33. Nice, huh?
Um, I am pregnant and I wouldn't attend a baby shower for anyone on Labor Day weekend. Or any other holiday for that matter.
I think her point was her sister said she wasn't coming because she was going to get drunk.
Like many people due over a summer holiday. Seriously, it is a total selfishbitch time to have a shower. Although, I also can't imagine getting worked up about a single person with no kids not being that into your pregnancy, outside of being glad you are healthy.
I have a single brother. He has his own damn life that doesn't revolve around my uterus.
A sister is family. I'm sorry but if my Sister didn't come to my baby shower because she wanted to get drunk on a long weekend I would be furious.
I don't think that attending a shower is asking them to be "all into your pregnancy".

My sentiments exactly. And I think she might have overlooked the bold, underlined part of my comment. It's not on Labor Day weekend, but when my sister erroneously thought it was, she totally freaked out and thew a temper tantrum.

My sister was so excited when I first told her I was PG. She couldn't wait to get involved and finally be an aunt. And ever since that time (5 months ago), she has been MIA. She hasn't even called me, e-mailed me, or FB'd me once to check in.

t.bird · July 2010

LCB34:
OMG love that pup - mine looked like that (but with long hair) when we brought them home!
Weiner dogs are awesome!

that is a true statement.

this is why i have 2. if i could have more i would- but the husband put his foot down. one day...

insertclevername · July 2010

lissasue3:

NY Mama:
I guess I have my sensitive pants on today but this irked me. DH and I have worked hard for everything in our lives and were working on saving for a down payment on a house but things happened. DHs mom got really sick and we had to do alot of travel and take time off, etc. DHs mom died and left him money. That is what we used for the down payment on our house. I would give my house back in a second for our old apartment or a different house if we could have DHs mom back. I don't happen to think we are pathetic people because we used money from a parent to put a down payment on a house.
Who said they are pathetic people?
I think you are being a little sensitive about it because it involved DH's mom's death.

And this whole convo started because we were less impressed with the house someone was able to afford now that someone else gifted them money. Meaning without that gift they would not have been able to buy that specific house at that specific time.

I wish I wasn't Bump incapable but I am not so good at picking specific statements out of quotes. Another poster said that taking money (from someone, ie parents) for a down payment is pretty pathetic. I don't think that it is pathetic and it doesn't mean that the people haven't worked hard for things in their lives.

Estellankase · July 2010

MrsG NC:
Estellankase:
MrsG NC:

My mother (who I have a fairly interesting relationship with) insists that LO should call her "Gigi" and talks about this constantly. It is pretty much one of the only things she talks about regarding LO. She tells everyone how she is not grandma, she is "Gigi".

I'm going to make sure LO calls her Grandma.

I'm just curious, why Gigi? My grandmother and I thought it would be cute if LO called her Gigi but because Great Grandma=GG=GiGi and LO has two great-grandmas (the another one claimed great-grandma a while back). My mom will just be grandma.

Simply the fact that she does not want to be called "Grandma". She has never flat out said it, but she HATES the idea of being called Grandma. She is not one to act her age.

Oooo LOL. You should have LO call her "Nanny" then LOL. I always think of an "older" grandma when I hear Nanny Devil

CinemaGoddess · July 2010

Mrs.Johns:
lissasue3:

NY Mama:
I guess I have my sensitive pants on today but this irked me. DH and I have worked hard for everything in our lives and were working on saving for a down payment on a house but things happened. DHs mom got really sick and we had to do alot of travel and take time off, etc. DHs mom died and left him money. That is what we used for the down payment on our house. I would give my house back in a second for our old apartment or a different house if we could have DHs mom back. I don't happen to think we are pathetic people because we used money from a parent to put a down payment on a house.
Who said they are pathetic people?
I think you are being a little sensitive about it because it involved DH's mom's death.

And this whole convo started because we were less impressed with the house someone was able to afford now that someone else gifted them money. Meaning without that gift they would not have been able to buy that specific house at that specific time.

I said pathetic in my OP and looking back it was probably a poor word choice. I don't think it's pathetic but I am never as impressed with someone's house if I know that their parents helped them.

I really don't understand this attitude. If someone's parents offered to help with a down payment, or as in LCB's case, money was made available to them for use as a down payment, why should that person say no? Because American culture tells us that there is something wrong with accepting money from parents (or anyone for that matter)? Because you should just wait for good things if you can't afford them with your own paycheck, even if someone is willing to give you money? Pride?

LCB34 · July 2010

t.bird:
LCB34:
OMG love that pup - mine looked like that (but with long hair) when we brought them home!
Weiner dogs are awesome!

that is a true statement.

this is why i have 2. if i could have more i would- but the husband put his foot down. one day...

We have 2 as well and are just the opposite. Alex wants a 3rd and I say no - at least not until we get this baby thing under control!

Mrs.Johns · July 2010

lissasue3:
Except that LCB is the one who jumped on MrsJ's confession.
I do work hard and save hard. There's no jealousy here.

We said bravo to her working hard, but it doesn't change the fact that our opinion is that we are less impressed with the home buying since her parents gifted her the money. That's all there is to it.

Exactly.

To be honest, I was mainly thinking about my cousins who have been going around bragging about how awesome thier houses are not knowing that I know they got over 100k as a down payment- each. Obviously, their houses are going to be nicer than they can afford. Good for them. I'm just not as impressed with their accomplishment as I would be had they done it by themselves.

lilmgirl · July 2010

t.bird:
MissNikki007:

I don't like dogs. In fact, I'm kinda afraid of them.

::gasp::

but but but...how can you be afraid of this:

i think you should get a weiner dog. cause no one doesn't like a weiner dog!

Or this? This is my first:

melissa4252008 · July 2010

Mrs.Johns:
lissasue3:

NY Mama:
I guess I have my sensitive pants on today but this irked me. DH and I have worked hard for everything in our lives and were working on saving for a down payment on a house but things happened. DHs mom got really sick and we had to do alot of travel and take time off, etc. DHs mom died and left him money. That is what we used for the down payment on our house. I would give my house back in a second for our old apartment or a different house if we could have DHs mom back. I don't happen to think we are pathetic people because we used money from a parent to put a down payment on a house.
Who said they are pathetic people?
I think you are being a little sensitive about it because it involved DH's mom's death.

And this whole convo started because we were less impressed with the house someone was able to afford now that someone else gifted them money. Meaning without that gift they would not have been able to buy that specific house at that specific time.

I said pathetic in my OP and looking back it was probably a poor word choice. I don't think it's pathetic but I am never as impressed with someone's house if I know that their parents helped them.
Also, IMO, an inheritance because someone DIED is not the same thing. Obviously, you'd rather have that person in your life over their money for your house, you're just making the best of a shiity situation at that point.

Do a lot of people openly say/tell you that their parents helped them out with the down payment? I'm not being snarky, I'm just curious.

I've always played financial matters VERY close to the vest. My parents were that way when I was growing up too. Aside from posting it here, I don't think anyone aside from my Mom and Dad know that we used inheritance money for our down payment. I can't imagine telling people that.

But like I said, I'm typically super secretive when it comes to money and finances.

srthomas88 · July 2010

MissNikki007:

I don't like dogs. In fact, I'm kinda afraid of them.

My DD and H would love to have a dog. I won't let them because I can't deal with it.

I guess I'm selfish and I suck.

I don't understand why people would judge someone for not liking dogs, but whatever.

I wouldn't judge someone if they were actually afraid of dogs. I understand people being afraid of them. I was attacked by a very large dog (220 pounds), when I was 15. He ripped part of my abdomen, and tore through part of my face. Nearly killed me. I had to have plastic surgery to look "normal" again. Being afraid is completely understandable!

Mt2G1012 · July 2010

t.bird:
MissNikki007:

I don't like dogs. In fact, I'm kinda afraid of them.

::gasp::

but but but...how can you be afraid of this:

i think you should get a weiner dog. cause no one doesn't like a weiner dog!

Totally agree! I had a friend in college TERRIFIED of dogs, little and big. She met my wiener dog, Lehla and after 2 times, loved her. She still wasn't a fan of other dogs much, but eventually got a doxie of her own because they are the best dogs ever!! Ok, that was dramatic, but how I feel. I love my wiener dogs.

PS That pic is so freaking adorable!!!

Mrs.Johns · July 2010

cinema_goddess:

I really don't understand this attitude. If someone's parents offered to help with a down payment, or as in LCB's case, money was made available to them for use as a down payment, why should that person say no? Because American culture tells us that there is something wrong with accepting money from parents (or anyone for that matter)? Because you should just wait for good things if you can't afford them with your own paycheck, even if someone is willing to give you money? Pride?

I'm not sure. I just know for myself that it wouldn't feel right. I like that we have done it ourselves. It feels good. Everyone is different and if someone is cool with it then it's their thing. All I said was that I am less impressed. That's all.

melissa4252008 · July 2010

Mrs.Johns:
lissasue3:
Except that LCB is the one who jumped on MrsJ's confession.
I do work hard and save hard. There's no jealousy here.

We said bravo to her working hard, but it doesn't change the fact that our opinion is that we are less impressed with the home buying since her parents gifted her the money. That's all there is to it.

Exactly.

To be honest, I was mainly thinking about my cousins who have been going around bragging about how awesome thier houses are not knowing that I know they got over 100k as a down payment- each. Obviously, their houses are going to be nicer than they can afford. Good for them. I'm just not as impressed with their accomplishment as I would be had they done it by themselves.

Indifferent $100k?!

Holy hell.

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