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I don't understand "surprise" BFPs

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Re: I don't understand "surprise" BFPs

  • emiliemadisonemiliemadison member

    imageSammyLee1229:
    Pills aren't the only way of doing "birth control". Some people do natural family planning where they try to avoid sex when ovulating. Obviously nothing is 100% guaranteed.

    FAM and NFP are just as effective as BCP when used properly. So yes, if you are doing it correctly it WOULD be a shock to find out you're pregnant because because you were doing your best to avoid pregnancy. 

    It's when people are NOT using any proven method of preventing pregnancy or being inconsistent with their method and then get all "OMG, I'm pg and it's completely unexpected!!" that we're talking about.

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  • t.birdt.bird member

    i never understood it from people that aren't using BC of any kind- obviously you might get pregnant- i'm sorry, there is no shock there IMO.

    with that being said- after 24 cycles & 4 rounds of IVF for #1- i was definately in shock when i got a BFP for #2 with no assistance. granted we weren't using BC- but i was 99% sure my IF was my BC :)

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  • BitterOldHagBitterOldHag

    imageSammyLee1229:
    Pills aren't the only way of doing "birth control". Some people do natural family planning where they try to avoid sex when ovulating. Obviously nothing is 100% guaranteed.

    Shhh... don't let the abstinence supporters hear that. Or the women with hysterectomies. They may think there's still a chance.

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  • TommysGirl56TommysGirl56 member
    It think we may be psychic twins!!!  I was just thinking this this morning in regards to someone who has an "unplanned" pregnancy.  And I was like, if you are having unprotected sex, you know durn well what can happen!
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  • ChrysallysChrysallys member
    imageErin5849:

    What about when you ovulate again shortly after getting pregnant and then have unprotected sex, because hey you're already pregnant right? And then BAM you get pregnant with another baby and now you have to give birth to TWO babies? That's a shock.

    To everybody.

    It's totally EPIC.

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  • LovelyJulesLovelyJules member
    imageNDwife07:

    I generally agree, but have another exception - those that struggled with IF for a long time, and might not use protection or BC as regularly because they feel like they don't need it.

    I mean, how many stories have you heard on here and IRL about women who aren't able to get pregnant, then adopt or are about to adopt, and then get a surprise BFP?

    But yeah, kit, those are rare.

    This exactly.  I tried for 2 years without protection and nothing.  If I would get pregnant this time...I would fall

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  • LovelyJulesLovelyJules member
    imageNDwife07:

    I generally agree, but have another exception - those that struggled with IF for a long time, and might not use protection or BC as regularly because they feel like they don't need it.

    I mean, how many stories have you heard on here and IRL about women who aren't able to get pregnant, then adopt or are about to adopt, and then get a surprise BFP?

    But yeah, kit, those are rare.

    This exactly.  I tried for 2 years without protection and nothing.  If I would get pregnant this time...I would fall

    out
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  • LovelyJulesLovelyJules member
    imageNDwife07:

    I generally agree, but have another exception - those that struggled with IF for a long time, and might not use protection or BC as regularly because they feel like they don't need it.

    I mean, how many stories have you heard on here and IRL about women who aren't able to get pregnant, then adopt or are about to adopt, and then get a surprise BFP?

    But yeah, kit, those are rare.

    This exactly.  I tried for 2 years without protection and nothing.  If I would get pregnant this time...I would fall

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  • LovelyJulesLovelyJules member
    imageNDwife07:

    I generally agree, but have another exception - those that struggled with IF for a long time, and might not use protection or BC as regularly because they feel like they don't need it.

    I mean, how many stories have you heard on here and IRL about women who aren't able to get pregnant, then adopt or are about to adopt, and then get a surprise BFP?

    But yeah, kit, those are rare.

    This exactly.  I tried for 2 years without protection and nothing.  If I would get pregnant this time...I would fall out of

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  • LovelyJulesLovelyJules member
    imageNDwife07:

    I generally agree, but have another exception - those that struggled with IF for a long time, and might not use protection or BC as regularly because they feel like they don't need it.

    I mean, how many stories have you heard on here and IRL about women who aren't able to get pregnant, then adopt or are about to adopt, and then get a surprise BFP?

    But yeah, kit, those are rare.

    This exactly.  I tried for 2 years without protection and nothing.  If I would get pregnant this time...I would fall out of my chair.

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  • Erin5849Erin5849 member
    imageChrysallys:
    imageErin5849:

    What about when you ovulate again shortly after getting pregnant and then have unprotected sex, because hey you're already pregnant right? And then BAM you get pregnant with another baby and now you have to give birth to TWO babies? That's a shock.

    To everybody.

    It's totally EPIC.

    And somewhere out there, Ksayles head just exploded.

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  • jday1229jday1229

    ITA, but I admit we were a little surprised with I got pregnant before DS (MC @ 9w) because I had been on BC for 9 years and then off for 3 and it didn't happen in those 3 years. At over 30, when nothing happens after years of no BC, after awhile you tend to not expect anything to happen.. which makes it "unexpected" when it does happen.

    I didn't run around with a look of shock like I was having a virgin birth though Stick out tongue

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  • SafetyWife07SafetyWife07

    The first flame that I have gotten.  I totally agree with the OP, but I will say that while I knew that this could happen, as I stated in my post.  Still I was in la, la land thinking that it wouldn't happen...but clearly I know that it takes for this to happen.  Smile So, it's my fault and I deserve this sort of post.

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  • margeincharge2margeincharge2
    imageLovelyJules:
    imageNDwife07:

    I generally agree, but have another exception - those that struggled with IF for a long time, and might not use protection or BC as regularly because they feel like they don't need it.

    I mean, how many stories have you heard on here and IRL about women who aren't able to get pregnant, then adopt or are about to adopt, and then get a surprise BFP?

    But yeah, kit, those are rare.

    This exactly.  I tried for 2 years without protection and nothing.  If I would get pregnant this time...I would fall out of my chair.

    Well, I wouldn't count on not getting pregnant. My cousin's doctor told her it would take a miracle to get pregnant on her own. She and her hubby are expecting their little "miracle" next month. :)

    FWIW, my cousin wasn't even that shocked when she got pregnant. She and her hubby made the decision to not use BC and were prepared to have another baby in the event that it happened on its own, which it did eventually.  

     

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  • robbie3982robbie3982 member
    imageemiliemadison:
    imagejolis_petits_bijoux:

    ITA.  A surprise BFP is when you're utilizing BC as directed and get pregnant. 

    Otherwise, it's not a surprise, even if you're not actively TTC.

    With DS, we were not actively TTC but not preventing, so when I got my BFP, it wasn't a big surprise... I had a "Wow!" moment though, b/c I thought it would take longer since I had just stopped the pill and wasn't charting.

     

     Not to pick on you, but I think that's part of where the "OMG!" moments come in. People say they're "NOT TTC, but not preventing" and then claim shock when they get an "unexpected" BFP. If someone is doing nothing to prevent pregnancy and having sex, they are trying to get pregnant. They may not chart or temp or use OPKs, but those things are not what makes the difference between not trying and trying. It's the not preventing that matters. If someone is open to a pregnancy and having unprotected sex, THAT is what constitutes "TTC" even if they dont take extra measures to time sex perfectly etc.

     

    I disagree.  I think there are 3 levels of TTC:

    1) Preventing

    2) Not trying, just seeing what happens (no charting or even having sex more often than normal but also no bc)  

    3) TTC (anything from charting, using opks or just having sex more frequently).

    I agree with you that if you're not preventing you really shouldn't be shocked if you get a bfp, but I think there's a difference between being shocked/surprised and having an unplanned pregnancy.  To me, an unplanned pregnancy just means you weren't actively trying.

     

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