I don't understand "surprise" BFPs

kit443

Well I don't understand most of them. It isn't a surprise if you are not taking birth control. It isn't a surprise if you don't take your pill regularly. I am amazed at the frequency of BFPs where ladies are "shocked" or "OMG!" on this board.

It IS a  surprise if you have an IUD, take your pills at the same time EVERY day or had a lot of trouble conceiving LO #1.

Just thought I'd share

Nicavesani

I think it's ALWAYS a shock, even if you're planning it!  I don't think anyone's reaction is "ok, i'm preg, no big".  You always have a few minutes (or days) of OMG! 

Temp534591562502098

will you marry me?

margeincharge2

I saw a bfp the other day from a bumpie saying they were shocked and then in the next sentence they said they weren't using birth control. I didn't respond but I gave it the major side eye. I honestly don't know how THAT can be a surprise. To me, a surprise is, I was using bcp religiously or whatever and then getting a bfp.

~Soleil~

I agree with you. I think everyone on this board is well aware of how babies are made .

~Soleil~

Nicavesani:

I think it's ALWAYS a shock, even if you're planning it!  I don't think anyone's reaction is "ok, i'm preg, no big".  You always have a few minutes (or days) of OMG! 

I don't think this is what she meant.

ladysingstheblues

I agree, but I also think people use "shocked" and "OMG!" to mean "excited" or "overwhelmed." 

mechanicsgirl

I agree that it's always a shock even if youw ere planning it.  With DD, I went through IF treatments to get her.  I was shocked when I got my BFP on Christmas Eve.

With DS, I was on birth control, taking them religiously, and didn't ovulate on my own before I was pregnant with DD.  When I got that BFP, that was a real surprise

But, FWIW, I do agree with you, and understand what you're saying.

NManger

DS was a "suprise" a really big suprise. We used the same birth control for nine years then one day no period. Suprise!!! POAS=BFP!!

emiliemadison

Flame away, but I totally agree. If you are doing NOTHING to prevent a pregnancy or not using BC properly, surely it cant be a "shock" or a "surprise" or "unexpected" or "unplanned" if you become pregnant. And obviously, being told you're infertile or having your properly used BC fail isn't the same. That is definitely a shock.

 

deeanneharris

~Soleil~:

I agree with you. I think everyone on this board is well aware of how babies are made .

Can you draw me a picture?

BitterOldHag

sugrfrejaz:

will you marry me?

She's mine. Back away.

kaylenpar1

lolwut.  I lobes you.

kit443

Nicavesani:

I think it's ALWAYS a shock, even if you're planning it!  I don't think anyone's reaction is "ok, i'm preg, no big".  You always have a few minutes (or days) of OMG! 

Yeah but that isn't what I mean. Almost every day there is a BFP announcement and a number of those has some kind of statement like "OMG I AM KU! I CANT BELIEVE IT! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THIS WOULD HAPPEN? I wasn't on BC but STILL!!!"

ivs112

fairychick77

ITA.

We're all adults here right? We know how babies are made. If you aren't using protection and you have sex, it should not be a surprise when you find out you are pg.

jolis_petits_bijoux

ITA.  A surprise BFP is when you're utilizing BC as directed and get pregnant. 

Otherwise, it's not a surprise, even if you're not actively TTC.

With DS, we were not actively TTC but not preventing, so when I got my BFP, it wasn't a big surprise... I had a "Wow!" moment though, b/c I thought it would take longer since I had just stopped the pill and wasn't charting.

 

NDwife07

I generally agree, but have another exception - those that struggled with IF for a long time, and might not use protection or BC as regularly because they feel like they don't need it.

I mean, how many stories have you heard on here and IRL about women who aren't able to get pregnant, then adopt or are about to adopt, and then get a surprise BFP?

But yeah, kit, those are rare.

RNOHIO

Nicavesani:

I think it's ALWAYS a shock, even if you're planning it!  I don't think anyone's reaction is "ok, i'm preg, no big".  You always have a few minutes (or days) of OMG! 

 

I agree......I don't think that they are saying "OMG" as in they didn't think that it would happen.  It's just a shock when you actually see "Pregnant" even when it's planned.

madameladauphine

emiliemadison:

Flame away, but I totally agree. If you are doing NOTHING to prevent a pregnancy or not using BC properly, surely it cant be a "shock" or a "surprise" or "unexpected" or "unplanned" if you become pregnant. And obviously, being told you're infertile or having your properly used BC fail isn't the same. That is definitely a shock.

 

I completely agree with all of this.  Right down to the flaming part

kiwi443

I completely agree! It's sort of like saying, "I can't believe someone hit my car. I parked it in the middle of the freeway. I'm in shock!"

katie_cj

Well, Kit! Not everyone can feel the sperm meet the egg.

LOL.

I agree, but I also thing people used surprised when they really mean excited, OMG, here we go again type of thing.

one_more_girl

deeanneharris:

~Soleil~:

I agree with you. I think everyone on this board is well aware of how babies are made .

Can you draw me a picture?

Love this

TashaLee

I agree. If you're not using any kind of protection and you get pregnant, it shouldn't be that much of a surprise. A surprise is if you are actively using BC correctly and you get pregnant, that would probably also be a bit shocking!

We were actively TTC when I got pregnant with DD, so while I was surprised that I was pregnant, I wasn't surprised in the sense that I didn't expect it to happen just the fact that it did happen. KWIM? Surprise in an excited way!! 

kit443

NDwife07:

I generally agree, but have another exception - those that struggled with IF for a long time, and might not use protection or BC as regularly because they feel like they don't need it.

Definitely. I have a friend that was told she couldn't get pregnant. But she did and that was a surprise for sure.

RNOHIO

kit443:

Nicavesani:

I think it's ALWAYS a shock, even if you're planning it!  I don't think anyone's reaction is "ok, i'm preg, no big".  You always have a few minutes (or days) of OMG! 

Yeah but that isn't what I mean. Almost every day there is a BFP announcement and a number of those has some kind of statement like "OMG I AM KU! I CANT BELIEVE IT! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THIS WOULD HAPPEN? I wasn't on BC but STILL!!!"

 

Ok....I agree with this statment!!  If they are truely "shocked" at how this could happen then something is wrong.

Erin5849

What about when you ovulate again shortly after getting pregnant and then have unprotected sex, because hey you're already pregnant right? And then BAM you get pregnant with another baby and now you have to give birth to TWO babies? That's a shock.

To everybody.

Ivana_Stolichnaya

I totally see everyone's point.  The "How did that happen" posts are pretty ridiculous. 

We were trying and trying hard for 7 months and when it finally happened I was shocked...We actually made a baby!  I was in disbelief at first.  BFP's bring on a lot of different emotions for everyone.

fairychick77

Erin5849:

What about when you ovulate again shortly after getting pregnant and then have unprotected sex, because hey you're already pregnant right? And then BAM you get pregnant with another baby and now you have to give birth to TWO babies? That's a shock.

To everybody.

I you.

emiliemadison

jolis_petits_bijoux:

ITA.  A surprise BFP is when you're utilizing BC as directed and get pregnant. 

Otherwise, it's not a surprise, even if you're not actively TTC.

With DS, we were not actively TTC but not preventing, so when I got my BFP, it wasn't a big surprise... I had a "Wow!" moment though, b/c I thought it would take longer since I had just stopped the pill and wasn't charting.

 

 Not to pick on you, but I think that's part of where the "OMG!" moments come in. People say they're "NOT TTC, but not preventing" and then claim shock when they get an "unexpected" BFP. If someone is doing nothing to prevent pregnancy and having sex, they are trying to get pregnant. They may not chart or temp or use OPKs, but those things are not what makes the difference between not trying and trying. It's the not preventing that matters. If someone is open to a pregnancy and having unprotected sex, THAT is what constitutes "TTC" even if they dont take extra measures to time sex perfectly etc.

 

BitterOldHag

Erin5849:

What about when you ovulate again shortly after getting pregnant and then have unprotected sex, because hey you're already pregnant right? And then BAM you get pregnant with another baby and now you have to give birth to TWO babies? That's a shock.

To everybody.

Tee hee.

sam19

Erin5849:

What about when you ovulate again shortly after getting pregnant and then have unprotected sex, because hey you're already pregnant right? And then BAM you get pregnant with another baby and now you have to give birth to TWO babies? That's a shock.

To everybody.

That's why you are supposed to take BC while pregnant. DUH! You don't want Irish Twins, right?

hellopoppyseed

I think it is always a shock. We can make PEOPLE. That's a big @ss deal. I will continue to be shocked, planned or not.

kklickka

You're right, I think, for the most part.  I had gone off my BCP for 1 month because it was giving me issues; I went to my doc and she prescribed a different one.  During the time that I thought I would be ovulating DH and I were "careful" (i.e. didn't have sex), but since I wasn't charting I guess I was off...because here we are!

So, with us it was a surprise but not a shock, if that makes sense.  Either way we're thrilled!

egsquared

mechanicsgirl:

I agree that it's always a shock even if youw ere planning it.  With DD, I went through IF treatments to get her.  I was shocked when I got my BFP on Christmas Eve.

With DS, I was on birth control, taking them religiously, and didn't ovulate on my own before I was pregnant with DD.  When I got that BFP, that was a real surprise

But, FWIW, I do agree with you, and understand what you're saying.

These are good examples of real surprise BFPs.  But I agree with you that the others that have been on here lately should not be so surprised and shocked. 

Erin5849

sam19:

Erin5849:

What about when you ovulate again shortly after getting pregnant and then have unprotected sex, because hey you're already pregnant right? And then BAM you get pregnant with another baby and now you have to give birth to TWO babies? That's a shock.

To everybody.

That's why you are supposed to take BC while pregnant. DUH! You don't want Irish Twins, right?

Someone should do a PSA!

BitterOldHag

sam19:

Erin5849:

What about when you ovulate again shortly after getting pregnant and then have unprotected sex, because hey you're already pregnant right? And then BAM you get pregnant with another baby and now you have to give birth to TWO babies? That's a shock.

To everybody.

That's why you are supposed to take BC while pregnant. DUH! You don't want Irish Twins, right?

And stay away from smoke detectors! Replace your batteries before you do the deed.

KTHXBAI

NDwife07

hellopoppyseed:

I think it is always a shock. We can make PEOPLE. That's a big @ss deal. I will continue to be shocked, planned or not.

I think kit meant shock as in, completely unprepared.

Mrs.21

ITA.

What I am completely "shocked" about is that so many women on here are not using birth control. It blows my mind when I see those posts, because I so badly want to respond, "if you are so shocked and overwhelmed at being pregnant again then why weren't you using protection?"

I may get flamed for this...

SammyLee1229

Pills aren't the only way of doing "birth control". Some people do natural family planning where they try to avoid sex when ovulating. Obviously nothing is 100% guaranteed.

hellopoppyseed

NDwife07:

hellopoppyseed:

I think it is always a shock. We can make PEOPLE. That's a big @ss deal. I will continue to be shocked, planned or not.

I think kit meant shock as in, completely unprepared.

yes well people should know that if they are having sex, it is ALWAYS a possibility no matter what. But denial is powerful.