Ok, well I know that the answer really to that is when you held your baby, but when in your pregnancy did you feel like there was more than likely a great outcome in your future?
The NT scan helped A LOT, but I honestly didn't believe it was really going to happen until I started to feel the baby move. That hourly/daily reassurance is sooooo nice. I relaxed even more after our big 20 week ultrasound when we learned it was a girl (that helped make it a lot more real!), and we saw she was developing normally.
Brought to you by IVF, ICSI, limited fert, and oocyte cryopreservation. Because we're fancy like that.
I also think I won't be able to relax until the 28-29w range. Despite making it father than we have with our previous pregnancies, I'm too aware of everything that could go wrong in a high-rsk multiple pregnancy.
V-day? maybe a little but my pregnancy had gotten kind of complicated with the fluid around the heart and lungs and all that business so we were still pretty on edge
40 weeks? for like 24 hours we got to relax were so relieved to have a baby in our arms but that got shot to hell when he got diagnosed and we found out the PGD had failed...that he wasn't healthy
I realize our situation is a little different though... I'm starting to feel better and more confident now, for the last month or 2... since things have gone pretty well with his heart stuff I feel like he's going to be more like my DD and be ok.
At 36 weeks when he came into the world via c-section! I was a nervous wreck during my pregnancy and the internet caused a lot of it. Saw too many sad stories of late term problems to make me relax.
I kind of relaxed around 28w, but then got nervous again because I started having some contractions around 31w. I was freaked out until we made it to 35w and they took me off my meds. Then I didn't have another contraction until the boys were born at 38w2d. At that point I think I would have delivered them myself if it weren't for my c/s!
And to better answer your question, I didn't relax until they told me their weights and I got to hold both of them and take them back to recovery with me.
I am a worrier by nature so I have 27-28 weeks in my mind as a time I might be able to exhale, but I am sure that will change. This whole thing is a roller coaster and a very big blessing at the same time.
Honestly, I don't think I will relax until I hold the baby for the first time. Even then though, I know I am going to be an anxious first time parent; checking on his breathing while he's sleeping, etc.
Oh, you don't relax when you hold your baby. That just opens a whole new bag of worry! But each step in the pregnancy I relaxed a little more. Doubling betas. Seeing the heartbeat. Hearing the heartbeat and being told that my miscarriage rate was now down to 3%, etc. But most of all, feeling the baby kick and move regularly.
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Today is V-day for me! While I feel a little better then when I first saw a heartbeat, I won't fully relax and breathe until I take this baby home with me alive!
I think I relaxed a little bit when I saw a HB and then probably at the NT scan, at 13 weeks.
"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasured day you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart...let me hold you while I may."
Being able to feel her move everyday helps...but when she has a lazy day, I start to worry again. I think I might chill out a little more at 24 weeks.
PCOS, lupus anticoagulant, MTHFR (A1298C, one copy)
2 IUIs & 1 IVF = BFN
FET#1 = It's a girl! Born 7.1.10
FET#2 = c/p
FET#3 = Twin girls! Born on 3.16.12 at 33w2d due to severe pre-E. After 4 weeks in the NICU they are home!
I was worried about m/c, then premature birth, then issues w/ delivery, then after birth, SIDS, now running into oncoming traffic, later drugs & falling in with a dangerous crowd...
Re: When did you relax?
I think I will relax when I know this baby has a good chance of surviving on the outside - so no earlier than 28 weeks.
After everything I have been through, seeing a heartbeat multiple times means nothing to me.
Because we're fancy like that.
I have to agree here. I will feel so much better when I have a baby that is able to survive outside
IVF #1 1/10-transfered 2 blasts- DS born 10/2010
March 2015- Chemical pg
1/25/16- BFP Beta1 12dpo = 17, Beta 2 14 dpo = 28.. resulted in one beautiful boy born 9/21/16
Now I'm a stay at home loving life and pursuing my love of photography!!!
I was still prepared for a bad outcome at the c/s. So really when I held her for the first time.
doubling betas? no, numbers weren't terribly high
BFP? no, still worried
Seeing the HB? no, been there before
NT scan? nope, have had losses past that point
V-day? maybe a little but my pregnancy had gotten kind of complicated with the fluid around the heart and lungs and all that business so we were still pretty on edge
40 weeks? for like 24 hours we got to relax were so relieved to have a baby in our arms but that got shot to hell when he got diagnosed and we found out the PGD had failed...that he wasn't healthy
I realize our situation is a little different though... I'm starting to feel better and more confident now, for the last month or 2... since things have gone pretty well with his heart stuff I feel like he's going to be more like my DD and be ok.
I kind of relaxed around 28w, but then got nervous again because I started having some contractions around 31w. I was freaked out until we made it to 35w and they took me off my meds. Then I didn't have another contraction until the boys were born at 38w2d. At that point I think I would have delivered them myself if it weren't for my c/s!
And to better answer your question, I didn't relax until they told me their weights and I got to hold both of them and take them back to recovery with me.
TTC #1- unexplained...lost left ovary 4/07 IUI #1 2/10/09-BFN IUI #2 3/5/09-BFN IVF # 1-BFP
TTC#2- FET 4/7/11 BFP, Natural mc 5/5/11 IVF#2 ER 9/13/11, ET 9/16/11, Beta #1 9/27/11 BFP 254 Beta #2 9/30/11 793 -Twins!
Honestly, for me? Not yet.
I was worried about m/c, then premature birth, then issues w/ delivery, then after birth, SIDS, now running into oncoming traffic, later drugs & falling in with a dangerous crowd...
Nope, doesn't stop. Call me neurotic!
Photo by Zemya Photography