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Um, how do I respond to this - MIL (longish and strange)

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in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

I asked my MIL to check a store by her work to see if they had more of the diaper covers we use (she found them there for us before). I told her there was no rush. She ran out yesterday during her lunch and bought them. Then, she sent me an email asking for the money back right away because her work screwed up her paycheck and she was shorted $80. I emailed her back and said "of course we will pay you for them." This morning she emailed me the following:

"The tone of this email really hurt my feelings and upset me. If I had gotten my normal paycheck I wouldn't even had said anything about the money. How many other times have I gotten things for you and I told you to forget about paying me back? I feel bad enough that I don't even have $10 to spend on my Granddaughter."

Ok, on one hand I feel bad because obviously her money woes are getting to her. But, on the other hand, I don't see how emailing her and telling her we of course would pay her after she asked for the money is offensive. How would you handle? I sort of don't even want to deal with her and make DH do it instead. But, I also don't want there to be bad blood between us either over something so silly. I was thinking maybe I should send her an email with the following message:

"I'm not really sure what about my email upset you, as I certainly didn't mean anything by it! I just meant that of course we would pay you for the diaper covers, as there is no reason why you should have to buy them. I'm sorry if I inadvertently offended you...as that was definitely NOT my intention. You are and have always been very generous with ALL of us! I think sometimes email makes the tone of messages difficult to decipher. Again, sorry for any confusion."

BTW - we're talking a total amount of $10.69!

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Re: Um, how do I respond to this - MIL (longish and strange)

  • joecubedjoecubed member
    I think your email sounds good.  "Of course" can be hard to play in an email because it can come off as soothing or snotty.  She was in a bad mood yesterday based on her money situation and seems to have taken it to be the latter.  I'm sure this will all work out.
    Mommy to Seth (4) and Catherine Anne (13 mo.) Excited to welcome a third child in March of 2013!
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  • Brookie-CookieBrookie-Cookie
    TOne in emails can be so tricksy.  Definately respond ASAP and don;t let this get out of hand.  I would reword the first sentence about not being sure what offended her...that could be taken as snotty and since she is already overly sensitive-tread lightly.
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  • Gina418Gina418 member
    I think what you want to send is great - you know you're not in the wrong, but that would clarify that you meant no harm with your note and will probably make your mil feel better too.
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  • KNS_61805KNS_61805 member
    I think your reply sounds great. I'd go ahead and just send it. If you ask your dh to handle it it might turn into something bigger.
    Baby Birthday Ticker TickerPregnancy Ticker Peyton's Pages
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  • Faith1318Faith1318 member
    I think it's good and you should go ahead and send it. There was nothing wrong with your response - I'm sure she's probably just embarrassed and upset about her financial situation.
    DD (8), DS (5), DD (3)
    baby #4 due March '17!
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  • CFOCFO

    I would call her.  Sounds like a 2 minute convo could clear the whole thing up. 

    If you won't see her for a few days just say "hi, I wanted to call you because it seems there was a bit of a miscommunication.  I meant no harm by my reply - just that we intended to pay you back.  I'm sorry to hear about your job, how frustrating.  I can pop a check in the mail today, or see you tomorrow, etc." 

    Another email could just perpetuate miscommunciation, and also the exclamation points could also be misread.

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  • jilleyjilley
    If you have a pretty close relationship with her, I'd give her a quick call. The e-mail sounds good, but I'd lose the first line. Sounds like she's embarassed  and sensitive about her money situation. GL!
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  • vanillacouragevanillacourage member
    Call her.  Email what got you into this mess, don't prolong it further.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    DS1 born June 2008 | m/c at 9w March 2011 | DS2 born April 2012
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  • beckys96beckys96 member
    silly.  I think she took your Of Course as snotty since she was having a bad day already.  i would email her what you wrote...
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