I strongly judge any woman who wears halter tops and mini skirts with high heels, regardless of if you're at the club or not. Same goes for low cut spandextight mini dresses and heels. Basically any outfit in that category.
Why? Like what do you think about them?
I just don't think anyone looks good dressed like that.
Saying someone doesn't look good in something is not the same thing as judging them. For example, I don't think khakis look good on anyone and are uncalled for, but I don't judge people who were them. Like, I don't think anything about then as people except that they like ugly pants. If you say you "strongly judge" women who dress like that, then what do you think about them?
You seem to be fishing for something here? I strongly judge anyone who wears those outfits because I don't think they look good, so I side-eye them and think they have horrible taste. I don't know if there is much more to say about it.
I suppose I am fishing for how you strongly judge women who dress like that. Curious.
I answered the question, and then you asked again what I think of them? Well, you have the answer, again.
I can't speak for marcilene, but it certainly sounded like you were very close to calling them slutty.
And there is a HUGE difference between saying you think they look bad and judging them. Judging means you draw conclusions about someone. Like they are stupid and have poor fashion taste.
Yes, this is what I was getting at.
DD born 6.13.11 at 37w5d
DS born 5.23.12 at 36w5d
BFP 6.9.13|heartbeat of 128bpm 7weeks|7.23.13 ultrasound revealed no heartbeat|natural m/c and d&c 7.25.13
It makes me mad when people say things incorrectly, ideal instead of idea, pacific instead of specific, liberry instead of library. nbsp;My list goes on and on. nbsp;I think it makes the person sound uneducated I have some "specific" in mind though she is very well educated and in a position of authority.
You know some people can have speech problems or disorders right? This a crap thing to judge. It also annoys me when people jump all over grammar mistakes. You have no idea who struggles with disabilities.
I someone in mind that I wrote this about, she has none of those issues.
How do you know that? She might not even know. Adding and substituting letters are really common problems.
Clearly you are looking for a fight. I know because I worked with her for 10 years, know her educational background, know for a fact she did not receive speech therapy, and she does not have a learning disability. She CAN say the words correctly, I have heard her, she just does not. I am not going to argue further with you. I love the person I am talking about with all my heart, she is my mentor. The way she says those words makes me crazy, nothing more, no generalizations, no blanket statements.
Alright my confession is I can't stand that we have disorders now for literally every behavior under the sun. I know that there are legitimate illnesses and disabilities, but sometimes I miss words like "dumb" and "crazy."
Clearly you are looking for a fight. I know because I worked with her for 10 years, know her educational background, know for a fact she did not receive speech therapy, and she does not have a learning disability. She CAN say the words correctly, I have heard her, she just does not. I am not going to argue further with you. I love the person I am talking about with all my heart, she is my mentor. The way she says those words makes me crazy, nothing more, no generalizations, no blanket statements.
Definitely not looking for a fight. I was just trying to say that not everyone's disabilities are obvious, not everyone is up front about them, and not everyone needs treatment. It sucks to see someone be criticized for something they can't help.
I see that, like fuzzy, I misunderstood your original post. I thought they were two separate statements - you getting made at all people who make those mistakes but also judging your co-worker who you know to be educated. Sorry about that.
Thanks for this. I guess we will just play it by ear as to how we will tell her. And I know honesty is the best policy, but I am so afraid that she will be angry with us and think poorly of us and that our relationship will be irreparably damaged because of it Were you never angry with your parents about their past?
DH was conceived out of marriage too. He was well aware of it all his life. His parents never lied to him. He's not ashamed of them or mad at them.
It was a jumping point for conversations with him and his sister about safe and protected sex.
That's a good point. I just love my daughter to pieces and the thought of her being angry with me and ashamed of me is unbearable.
Where you raised in a very religious household?
I DO NOT see a reason for your daughter to be angry with you. At all.
Why would she be angry or ashamed of your past? She will be far from the only kid whose parents conceived while not married. Some kid's parents never marry. Some kid's parents are married but divorce before the kid remembers. She is not some pariah or something that would cause her to be ashamed.
Who is feeding you this crap that you should be ashamed of your loving family? Is it the premarital sex that you think is "bad"? The unplanned pregnancy? The casual sex?
Clearly you are looking for a fight. I know because I worked with her for 10 years, know her educational background, know for a fact she did not receive speech therapy, and she does not have a learning disability. She CAN say the words correctly, I have heard her, she just does not. I am not going to argue further with you. I love the person I am talking about with all my heart, she is my mentor. The way she says those words makes me crazy, nothing more, no generalizations, no blanket statements.
Definitely not looking for a fight. I was just trying to say that not everyone's disabilities are obvious, not everyone is up front about them, and not everyone needs treatment. It sucks to see someone be criticized for something they can't help.
I see that, like fuzzy, I misunderstood your original post. I thought they were two separate statements - you getting made at all people who make those mistakes but also judging your co-worker who you know to be educated. Sorry about that.
I would have been easier to read if the iPad had not eaten my ( )s and I had had not forgotten the one on someone. No biggie.
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Thanks for this. I guess we will just play it by ear as to how we will tell her. And I know honesty is the best policy, but I am so afraid that she will be angry with us and think poorly of us and that our relationship will be irreparably damaged because of it Were you never angry with your parents about their past?
DH was conceived out of marriage too. He was well aware of it all his life. His parents never lied to him. He's not ashamed of them or mad at them.
It was a jumping point for conversations with him and his sister about safe and protected sex.
That's a good point. I just love my daughter to pieces and the thought of her being angry with me and ashamed of me is unbearable.
Where you raised in a very religious household?
I DO NOT see a reason for your daughter to be angry with you. At all.
Why would she be angry or ashamed of your past? She will be far from the only kid whose parents conceived while not married. Some kid's parents never marry. Some kid's parents are married but divorce before the kid remembers. She is not some pariah or something that would cause her to be ashamed.
Who is feeding you this crap that you should be ashamed of your loving family? Is it the premarital sex that you think is "bad"? The unplanned pregnancy? The casual sex?
Yes, I was raised in a pretty religious household that was also involved in scandal. My mom was a nun and my dad was married to someone else when their relationship started. I think their shame and guilt has carried over to me.
I am ashamed of the fact that we were drinking heavily, having irresponsible sex when I should've known better, I was technically married. I mean, we were being really irresponsible to say the least.
DD born 6.13.11 at 37w5d
DS born 5.23.12 at 36w5d
BFP 6.9.13|heartbeat of 128bpm 7weeks|7.23.13 ultrasound revealed no heartbeat|natural m/c and d&c 7.25.13
If I meant slutty, I would have said slutty. You can absolutely judge someone for looking stupid in an outfit. Apparently that is what you are taking from the description of those outfits, not me.
There is a difference between thinking an outfit doesn't look good and judging a person. I think many of my MIL's shirts look horrible, I don't judge her because of them though. People have different fashion styles. That doesn't mean because someone doesn't like what you like, they are stupid.
Thank you for trimming that quote tree KMM. And for explaining what I was trying to say.
Judging means you draw a conclusion about a person based off of facts or opinions or something you see. Not just that you don't like the outfit. We were trying to find out what conclusion you were drawing. Not thinking they look good isn't a conclusion about the person.
Alright my confession is I can't stand that we have disorders now for literally every behavior under the sun. I know that there are legitimate illnesses and disabilities, but sometimes I miss words like "dumb" and "crazy."
I know I'm getting flamed but that's real talk.
Wow. This is so highly offensive I really can't reply.
And ignorant. I cannot believe someone would say something so absolutely ridiculous.
And sorry KLN, but mine's food related (and kind of lame because I can never think of a FFC) - I hide food (only junk food or "treats") from DH.
It makes me mad when people say things incorrectly, ideal instead of idea, pacific instead of specific, liberry instead of library. My list goes on and on. I think it makes the person sound uneducated (I have some "specific" in mind) though she is very well educated and in a position of authority.
I've got another one along this vein:
I hate it when people judge and correct other people's grammar and feel superior to them because they had better English grammar lessons. Please, people, stop it. And watch this:
Feeling superior for correcting grammar is a bit much, but if nobody corrects the issues (when it is a repeated thing form the same person) how will that person ever learn the correct usage?
I get that some people did not receive proper instruction in grammar, but shouldn't those who did receive that information help those who struggle? It does tend to impede meaning.
married 7.11.09
Me: 31 DH: 36
DD (14) and DS (11) adopted from US Foster care December 2016 BFP April 24, 2018 | EDD December 29, 2018
Thanks for this. I guess we will just play it by ear as to how we will tell her. And I know honesty is the best policy, but I am so afraid that she will be angry with us and think poorly of us and that our relationship will be irreparably damaged because of it Were you never angry with your parents about their past?
DH was conceived out of marriage too. He was well aware of it all his life. His parents never lied to him. He's not ashamed of them or mad at them.
It was a jumping point for conversations with him and his sister about safe and protected sex.
That's a good point. I just love my daughter to pieces and the thought of her being angry with me and ashamed of me is unbearable.
Where you raised in a very religious household?
I DO NOT see a reason for your daughter to be angry with you. At all.
Why would she be angry or ashamed of your past? She will be far from the only kid whose parents conceived while not married. Some kid's parents never marry. Some kid's parents are married but divorce before the kid remembers. She is not some pariah or something that would cause her to be ashamed.
Who is feeding you this crap that you should be ashamed of your loving family? Is it the premarital sex that you think is "bad"? The unplanned pregnancy? The casual sex?
Yes, I was raised in a pretty religious household that was also involved in scandal. My mom was a nun and my dad was married to someone else when their relationship started. I think their shame and guilt has carried over to me.
I am ashamed of the fact that we were drinking heavily, having irresponsible sex when I should've known better, I was technically married. I mean, we were being really irresponsible to say the least.
Have you had therapy? I mean, I don't think everyone needs therapy, but it seems like you could use some help finding a healthy perspective.
There's no reason you should feel shame for your parent's actions.
Drinking heavily.. Meh. Not a big deal. Casual sex? Mild embarrassment if that's not your style, but it is okay to have casual sex if that's your style. If you were married, I might be embarrassed or slightly ashamed, but it shouldn't haunt you daily or cause you to fear your daughter would hate you.
People aren't perfect. If you're religious, God forgives so why can't you forgive yourself?
I strongly judge any woman who wears halter tops and mini skirts with high heels, regardless of if you're at the club or not. Same goes for low cut spandextight mini dresses and heels. Basically any outfit in that category.
Why? Like what do you think about them?
I just don't think anyone looks good dressed like that.
Saying someone doesn't look good in something is not the same thing as judging them. For example, I don't think khakis look good on anyone and are uncalled for, but I don't judge people who were them. Like, I don't think anything about then as people except that they like ugly pants. If you say you "strongly judge" women who dress like that, then what do you think about them?
You seem to be fishing for something here? I strongly judge anyone who wears those outfits because I don't think they look good, so I side-eye them and think they have horrible taste. I don't know if there is much more to say about it.
I suppose I am fishing for how you strongly judge women who dress like that. Curious.
I answered the question, and then you asked again what I think of them? Well, you have the answer, again.
I can't speak for marcilene, but it certainly sounded like you were very close to calling them slutty. And there is a HUGE difference between saying you think they look bad and judging them. Judging means you draw conclusions about someone. Like they are stupid and have poor fashion taste.
If I meant slutty, I would have said slutty. You can absolutely judge someone for looking stupid in an outfit. Apparently that is what you are taking from the description of those outfits, not me.
Is everyone's head in the sand? People absolutly judge you on your appearance first and formost. No matter if you are in a suit or a one piece fishnet jumpsuit with a whip. To think that you are not being judged or assumption are not being made about you is ignorant. And to say that you do not draw any conclusions strictly based on a strangers wardrobe would most likely be a lie.
It makes me mad when people say things incorrectly, ideal instead of idea, pacific instead of specific, liberry instead of library. My list goes on and on. I think it makes the person sound uneducated (I have some "specific" in mind) though she is very well educated and in a position of authority.
I've got another one along this vein:
I hate it when people judge and correct other people's grammar and feel superior to them because they had better English grammar lessons. Please, people, stop it. And watch this:
Feeling superior for correcting grammar is a bit much, but if nobody corrects the issues (when it is a repeated thing form the same person) how will that person ever learn the correct usage?
I get that some people did not receive proper instruction in grammar, but shouldn't those who did receive that information help those who struggle? It does tend to impede meaning.
I think it depends. Sometimes correcting grammar is simply not necessary. If you get the general idea of what someone is writing and you do not know the person, this it's not necessary to point out mistakes. A lot of people in this country receive sub-par education and it's not their fault. By pointing out their grammatical errors (and then sometimes not even addressing what they are actually trying to say), it can make a person feel stupid, worthless, etc. all because a few commas were misplaced and some words were used incorrectly. It's not kind.
DD born 6.13.11 at 37w5d
DS born 5.23.12 at 36w5d
BFP 6.9.13|heartbeat of 128bpm 7weeks|7.23.13 ultrasound revealed no heartbeat|natural m/c and d&c 7.25.13
Thank you for trimming that quote tree KMM. And for explaining what I was trying to say.
Judging means you draw a conclusion about a person based off of facts or opinions or something you see. Not just that you don't like the outfit. We were trying to find out what conclusion you were drawing. Not thinking they look good isn't a conclusion about the person.
I see what you're saying, and maybe strongly judge should have been strongly side-eye. I'm not sure of the terminology, but regardless I really dislike those outfits and it reminds me of Jersey Shore.
I've mentioned bits and pieces of this in other threads, but here is the (almost) full story:
My husband and I were not even dating when I got pregnant with my daughter. We just had a casual thing going and the pregnancy was a HUGE oops. We got married when I was 5 months pregnant and we couldn't be happier now, but it is, unfortunately, a spot on our record when it comes to some family and friends. I feel like we will never be able to live this down and sometimes it really overwhelms me. I also sometimes get really emotional thinking about how we will tell our daughter the story of her birth and how she came to be. We bought a baby book for her and there are blank pages because I don't know what to write (like how Mommy and Daddy met, how we felt when we found out I was pregnant, etc.) I feel such a huge sense of guilt over that period in my life.
Sorry this was pretty heavy, but at least it wasn't about pets or food!
Hey I just wanted you to know your daughter may be more okay with it then you think. My folks had to tell me that I was born while they were both married to other people. My dad's ex wife wouldnt give him a divorce until I was 6 years old. My parents always told me the only thing that mattered is that they both loved me and we were always a family. I knew the whole time growing up because they were really honest with me so it was never an issue in my mind
Thanks for this. I guess we will just play it by ear as to how we will tell her. And I know honesty is the best policy, but I am so afraid that she will be angry with us and think poorly of us and that our relationship will be irreparably damaged because of it Were you never angry with your parents about their past?
I tried to get mad because I didnt know what to feel at first and my parents talked to me about it. They pointed out that the fact they werent married doesnt change how much they loved me or how we are family. We talked about the different kinds of families step parents, adoption, single parents. How can you be mad knowing that two people love you so much. I mean you were blessed with her earlier than you thought but that doesnt diminish how much you love DH or the fact that you were always meant to be a family she just helped you realize it sooner. Don't let anyone make you feel ashamed that you lived your life the way you wanted. You know who her father is you are providing for her there is nothing for her to be mad about. In fact knowing my parents flaws made me talk to them more when I was older because I knew they wouldnt judge me
Thank you for trimming that quote tree KMM. And for explaining what I was trying to say.
Judging means you draw a conclusion about a person based off of facts or opinions or something you see. Not just that you don't like the outfit. We were trying to find out what conclusion you were drawing. Not thinking they look good isn't a conclusion about the person.
I see what you're saying, and maybe strongly judge should have been strongly side-eye. I'm not sure of the terminology, but regardless I really dislike those outfits and it reminds me of Jersey Shore.
This was me, I don't know how my old TK SN popped up.
s
.
Is everyone's head in the sand?nbsp; People absolutly judge you on your appearance first and formost.nbsp; No matter if you are in a suit or a one piece fishnet jumpsuit with a whip.nbsp; To think that you are not being judged or assumption are not being made about you is ignorant.nbsp; And to say that you do not draw any conclusions strictly based on a strangers wardrobe would most likely be a lie.
I don't care what others wear. If your bits are covered, I'm happy. I'd notice pajama pants at a funeral or a mini skirt and tube top at a baby shower, but if someone is clean and fairly appropriately dressed, then who cares?
I know others do, and I'm sure I've been judged before. But when you talk about small skirts and clubbing style clothes and mention strongly judging, it's close enough to slut shaming to make people take notice till you clarify.
It makes me mad when people say things incorrectly, ideal instead of idea, pacific instead of specific, liberry instead of library. My list goes on and on. I think it makes the person sound uneducated (I have some "specific" in mind) though she is very well educated and in a position of authority.
I've got another one along this vein:
I hate it when people judge and correct other people's grammar and feel superior to them because they had better English grammar lessons. Please, people, stop it. And watch this:
Feeling superior for correcting grammar is a bit much, but if nobody corrects the issues (when it is a repeated thing form the same person) how will that person ever learn the correct usage?
I get that some people did not receive proper instruction in grammar, but shouldn't those who did receive that information help those who struggle? It does tend to impede meaning.
I think it depends. Sometimes correcting grammar is simply not necessary. If you get the general idea of what someone is writing and you do not know the person, this it's not necessary to point out mistakes. A lot of people in this country receive sub-par education and it's not their fault. By pointing out their grammatical errors (and then sometimes not even addressing what they are actually trying to say), it can make a person feel stupid, worthless, etc. all because a few commas were misplaced and some words were used incorrectly. It's not kind.
If the person being corrected is sensitive, I can see how it might make them feel that way, but personally (even though I am a sensitive person) I would much rather be corrected and understand the difference than to keep using something incorrectly. I completely disagree that "it's not kind" to correct someone just because they might be sensitive. Do you think teachers are unkind? If a person's spelling or grammar was never corrected, then how would they learn the difference between what is correct and what is incorrect?
Thanks for this. I guess we will just play it by ear as to how we will tell her. And I know honesty is the best policy, but I am so afraid that she will be angry with us and think poorly of us and that our relationship will be irreparably damaged because of it Were you never angry with your parents about their past?
DH was conceived out of marriage too. He was well aware of it all his life. His parents never lied to him. He's not ashamed of them or mad at them.
It was a jumping point for conversations with him and his sister about safe and protected sex.
That's a good point. I just love my daughter to pieces and the thought of her being angry with me and ashamed of me is unbearable.
Where you raised in a very religious household?
I DO NOT see a reason for your daughter to be angry with you. At all.
Why would she be angry or ashamed of your past? She will be far from the only kid whose parents conceived while not married. Some kid's parents never marry. Some kid's parents are married but divorce before the kid remembers. She is not some pariah or something that would cause her to be ashamed.
Who is feeding you this crap that you should be ashamed of your loving family? Is it the premarital sex that you think is "bad"? The unplanned pregnancy? The casual sex?
Yes, I was raised in a pretty religious household that was also involved in scandal. My mom was a nun and my dad was married to someone else when their relationship started. I think their shame and guilt has carried over to me.
I am ashamed of the fact that we were drinking heavily, having irresponsible sex when I should've known better, I was technically married. I mean, we were being really irresponsible to say the least.
Have you had therapy? I mean, I don't think everyone needs therapy, but it seems like you could use some help finding a healthy perspective.
There's no reason you should feel shame for your parent's actions.
Drinking heavily.. Meh. Not a big deal. Casual sex? Mild embarrassment if that's not your style, but it is okay to have casual sex if that's your style. If you were married, I might be embarrassed or slightly ashamed, but it shouldn't haunt you daily or cause you to fear your daughter would hate you.
People aren't perfect. If you're religious, God forgives so why can't you forgive yourself?
Your anger at yourself is out of proportion.
I have not had therapy, though I have thought about it. I agree that my anger at myself is not appropriate. I know in my head that it's silly to beat myself up, but I still do. I had a chemical pregnancy a few cycles ago and I thought it might be God/Karma/whatever catching up with me. I KNOW that to think that is ridiculous, but the thought did enter my mind. Yeah, the more I'm typing this out to random internet strangers, the more I think therapy may be in order lol.
DD born 6.13.11 at 37w5d
DS born 5.23.12 at 36w5d
BFP 6.9.13|heartbeat of 128bpm 7weeks|7.23.13 ultrasound revealed no heartbeat|natural m/c and d&c 7.25.13
I've mentioned bits and pieces of this in other threads, but here is the (almost) full story:
My husband and I were not even dating when I got pregnant with my daughter. We just had a casual thing going and the pregnancy was a HUGE oops. We got married when I was 5 months pregnant and we couldn't be happier now, but it is, unfortunately, a spot on our record when it comes to some family and friends. I feel like we will never be able to live this down and sometimes it really overwhelms me. I also sometimes get really emotional thinking about how we will tell our daughter the story of her birth and how she came to be. We bought a baby book for her and there are blank pages because I don't know what to write (like how Mommy and Daddy met, how we felt when we found out I was pregnant, etc.) I feel such a huge sense of guilt over that period in my life.
Sorry this was pretty heavy, but at least it wasn't about pets or food!
Hey I just wanted you to know your daughter may be more okay with it then you think. My folks had to tell me that I was born while they were both married to other people. My dad's ex wife wouldnt give him a divorce until I was 6 years old. My parents always told me the only thing that mattered is that they both loved me and we were always a family. I knew the whole time growing up because they were really honest with me so it was never an issue in my mind
Thanks for this. I guess we will just play it by ear as to how we will tell her. And I know honesty is the best policy, but I am so afraid that she will be angry with us and think poorly of us and that our relationship will be irreparably damaged because of it Were you never angry with your parents about their past?
I tried to get mad because I didnt know what to feel at first and my parents talked to me about it. They pointed out that the fact they werent married doesnt change how much they loved me or how we are family. We talked about the different kinds of families step parents, adoption, single parents. How can you be mad knowing that two people love you so much. I mean you were blessed with her earlier than you thought but that doesnt diminish how much you love DH or the fact that you were always meant to be a family she just helped you realize it sooner. Don't let anyone make you feel ashamed that you lived your life the way you wanted. You know who her father is you are providing for her there is nothing for her to be mad about. In fact knowing my parents flaws made me talk to them more when I was older because I knew they wouldnt judge me
Thank you for sharing your experience with me. Believe it or not, it does actually help a bit with the anxiety I have over my daughter finding out.
DD born 6.13.11 at 37w5d
DS born 5.23.12 at 36w5d
BFP 6.9.13|heartbeat of 128bpm 7weeks|7.23.13 ultrasound revealed no heartbeat|natural m/c and d&c 7.25.13
Is everyone's head in the sand? People absolutly judge you on your appearance first and formost. No matter if you are in a suit or a one piece fishnet jumpsuit with a whip. To think that you are not being judged or assumption are not being made about you is ignorant. And to say that you do not draw any conclusions strictly based on a strangers wardrobe would most likely be a lie.
I side-eye people who are falling out of their clothes, and am jealous of those who can rock a tasteful, well put together, mini skirt and heels outfit. I'd fall flat on my face in anything higher than 2" and my thighs are too friggin fat for anything above the knees.
I don't think people who dress like in a way I wouldn't are stupid because I don't agree with the outfit choice, though.
Is it wrong I amnow picturing you in thigh high 4' heeled boots rolling around on the ground? :P
It makes me mad when people say things incorrectly, ideal instead of idea, pacific instead of specific, liberry instead of library. My list goes on and on. I think it makes the person sound uneducated (I have some "specific" in mind) though she is very well educated and in a position of authority.
I've got another one along this vein:
I hate it when people judge and correct other people's grammar and feel superior to them because they had better English grammar lessons. Please, people, stop it. And watch this:
Feeling superior for correcting grammar is a bit much, but if nobody corrects the issues (when it is a repeated thing form the same person) how will that person ever learn the correct usage?
I get that some people did not receive proper instruction in grammar, but shouldn't those who did receive that information help those who struggle? It does tend to impede meaning.
I think it depends. Sometimes correcting grammar is simply not necessary. If you get the general idea of what someone is writing and you do not know the person, this it's not necessary to point out mistakes. A lot of people in this country receive sub-par education and it's not their fault. By pointing out their grammatical errors (and then sometimes not even addressing what they are actually trying to say), it can make a person feel stupid, worthless, etc. all because a few commas were misplaced and some words were used incorrectly. It's not kind.
If the person being corrected is sensitive, I can see how it might make them feel that way, but personally (even though I am a sensitive person) I would much rather be corrected and understand the difference than to keep using something incorrectly. I completely disagree that "it's not kind" to correct someone just because they might be sensitive. Do you think teachers are unkind? If a person's spelling or grammar was never corrected, then how would they learn the difference between what is correct and what is incorrect?
eta: clarity
There is kind way to do it and an unkind way to do it. I'm not talking about teachers. That's their job and it's to be expected. I'm talking about, like, I'm writing you a nice note or I'm asking a question or sharing an experience and someone writes back, "It's their, not there." or something to that effect. To me, that's just obnoxious.
DD born 6.13.11 at 37w5d
DS born 5.23.12 at 36w5d
BFP 6.9.13|heartbeat of 128bpm 7weeks|7.23.13 ultrasound revealed no heartbeat|natural m/c and d&c 7.25.13
Is everyone's head in the sand? People absolutly judge you on your appearance first and formost. No matter if you are in a suit or a one piece fishnet jumpsuit with a whip. To think that you are not being judged or assumption are not being made about you is ignorant. And to say that you do not draw any conclusions strictly based on a strangers wardrobe would most likely be a lie.
I side-eye people who are falling out of their clothes, and am jealous of those who can rock a tasteful, well put together, mini skirt and heels outfit. I'd fall flat on my face in anything higher than 2" and my thighs are too friggin fat for anything above the knees.
I don't think people who dress like in a way I wouldn't are stupid because I don't agree with the outfit choice, though.
I judge people who wear pajamas in public. But then I just try tell myself that maybe they can't afford nicer clothes or maybe there are extenuating circumstances like they just had some kind of surgery or something and pj pants are the only thing that fits comfortably at the moment. I know usually that's not the case, but I did feel kind of sorry for Regina George when she said "sweat pants are the only thing that fits me right now." I know that feeling.
Is everyone's head in the sand? People absolutly judge you on your appearance first and formost. No matter if you are in a suit or a one piece fishnet jumpsuit with a whip. To think that you are not being judged or assumption are not being made about you is ignorant. And to say that you do not draw any conclusions strictly based on a strangers wardrobe would most likely be a lie.
I side-eye people who are falling out of their clothes, and am jealous of those who can rock a tasteful, well put together, mini skirt and heels outfit. I'd fall flat on my face in anything higher than 2" and my thighs are too friggin fat for anything above the knees.
I don't think people who dress like in a way I wouldn't are stupid because I don't agree with the outfit choice, though.
I judge people who wear pajamas in public. But then I just try tell myself that maybe they can't afford nicer clothes or maybe there are extenuating circumstances like they just had some kind of surgery or something and pj pants are the only thing that fits comfortably at the moment. I know usually that's not the case, but I did feel kind of sorry for Regina George when she said "sweat pants are the only thing that fits me right now." I know that feeling.
DH had one of those self-reprimanding moments last weekend. We were doing yard work and people were coming by on bikes, and there was a woman with them on a scooter. He couldn't visibly see anything wrong with her and goes "Really?" under his breath. I smacked him because I'd seen before him (he was behind a bush) that she was a double amputee from the knees down. He felt like sh!t for judging without knowing the full picture.
And there are so many issues where a person looks healthy but still can't walk or can't walk well.
If someone is so lazy that they'd chose a scooter ride over walking, I'd almost say they deserve more sympathy.
If someone is so lazy that they'd chose a scooter ride over walking, I'd almost say they deserve more sympathy.
Hell no. Yes, there are people with issues that can't be seen and the scooter may be necessary. If they are just lazy? Once in a while, fine. Constantly? Fuvck no. I won't sympathize with them because they are lazy. Get the fuvck off your and walk.
Sympathy may be the wrong word. Scooters are a pain in the butt. My mom broke her femur and needed one to shop for about a year. It was annoying. The charge doesn't hold well, the steering is crap, it is sloooooooow, as much as we talk about things being accessible it's still a pain to get around stores and neighborhoods and shopping plazas.
My mom hated it. I just can't imagine a healthy person choosing that over walking, so I assume they are either injured or disabled... Or that something must be "wrong" with them to be that lazy. I may be underestimating how lazy someone is willing to be. Scooters are a pain.
Is everyone's head in the sand? People absolutely judge you on your appearance first and foremost. No matter if you are in a suit or a one piece fishnet jumpsuit with a whip. To think that you are not being judged or assumption are not being made about you is ignorant. And to say that you do not draw any conclusions strictly based on a strangers wardrobe would most likely be a lie.
It's not just wardrobe. I can't tell you how many times I've had good friends tell me, "You know when I first met you, I thought you were going to be a bitch. But you're not, you're so sweet!"
We need to bring awareness to CBF. Chronic Bitch Face is a serious problem that plagues many of us. Just because someone looks like a bitch, doesn't mean they are one.
I love you so much right now!
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I have to agree with Banker your appearance can certainly matter, especially in a work environment. There are a couple of teachers at my school who wear skirts that are shorter than the students are allowed to wear two fingerwidths above the knee, uniform skirts and one of these ladies is 50. They are both also guilty of wearing leggings as pants. I personally don't feel that they are appropriately attired for a school environment. A trendy store, coffee shop, etc.? Sure. But we are setting an example. Most of our teachers dress business casual or business professional.I also know the students notice, because they comment on it. I'm often complimented on my appearance, and it makes me feel all fuzzy to know that the kids notice when someone dresses nice, and appropriately, for their job.I don't get wearing pj pants in public outside of college. Or sweats. And I'm a comfyclothes kind of gal.nbsp;
My questioning of her confession had little to do with thinking clothing doesn't matter. I even said later that I rarely notice clothes unless they're inappropriate for the venue, be it work or a baby shower or church. I questioned because it sounded like she was implying women in those clothes were bad in some way. I get touchy about anything that sounds like slut shaming.
Your appearance matters. But I do roll my eyes at some of the judging comments I've heard on the bump. I've heard people admit they judge moms on the playground who wear sneakers with jeans, or who wear yoga pants out in public, or who dress their kid in soft cotton or mesh pants or shorts in public. To me, that's ridiculous and those judgers need to get over themselves.
Is everyone's head in the sand? People absolutely judge you on your appearance first and foremost. No matter if you are in a suit or a one piece fishnet jumpsuit with a whip. To think that you are not being judged or assumption are not being made about you is ignorant. And to say that you do not draw any conclusions strictly based on a strangers wardrobe would most likely be a lie.
It's not just wardrobe. I can't tell you how many times I've had good friends tell me, "You know when I first met you, I thought you were going to be a bitch. But you're not, you're so sweet!"
We need to bring awareness to CBF. Chronic Bitch Face is a serious problem that plagues many of us. Just because someone looks like a bitch, doesn't mean they are one.
I also suffer from CBF. I think we may need to get awareness bracelets.
There's also it's sister disease Way Too Friendly Looking. It causes strangers to feel they can spew their crazy at you with little chance of being stabbed, so they tend to approach you and unload the stupidest most offensive crap they can.
It can make trips to the grocery store turn interesting when a lady follows you to your car to lecture you that instead of buying books for your child, you should act the stories out so that you don't ruin his imagination.
We don't do bracelets though. WTFL sufferers are better served by pepper spray.
Is everyone's head in the sand? People absolutely judge you on your appearance first and foremost. No matter if you are in a suit or a one piece fishnet jumpsuit with a whip. To think that you are not being judged or assumption are not being made about you is ignorant. And to say that you do not draw any conclusions strictly based on a strangers wardrobe would most likely be a lie.
It's not just wardrobe. I can't tell you how many times I've had good friends tell me, "You know when I first met you, I thought you were going to be a bitch. But you're not, you're so sweet!"
We need to bring awareness to CBF. Chronic Bitch Face is a serious problem that plagues many of us. Just because someone looks like a bitch, doesn't mean they are one.
I also suffer from CBF. I think we may need to get awareness bracelets.
There's also it's sister disease Way Too Friendly Looking. It causes strangers to feel they can spew their crazy at you with little chance of being stabbed, so they tend to approach you and unload the stupidest most offensive crap they can.
It can make trips to the grocery store turn interesting when a lady follows you to your car to lecture you that instead of buying books for your child, you should act the stories out so that you don't ruin his imagination.
We don't do bracelets though. WTFL sufferers are better served by pepper spray.
Haha, I definitely have this issue. I used to hate taking the train by myself because someone would ALWAYS decide to sit next to me because I looked friendlier than other options. Truth: I'm a judgey b!tch, don't let my face fool you.
Me 31 DH 34 TTC #1 5/13 BFP #3 5/2/14 DD born 1/19/15 NTNP #2 8/17 BFP 12/13/18 ED 8/21/19
Is everyone's head in the sand? People absolutely judge you on your appearance first and foremost. No matter if you are in a suit or a one piece fishnet jumpsuit with a whip. To think that you are not being judged or assumption are not being made about you is ignorant. And to say that you do not draw any conclusions strictly based on a strangers wardrobe would most likely be a lie.
It's not just wardrobe. I can't tell you how many times I've had good friends tell me, "You know when I first met you, I thought you were going to be a bitch. But you're not, you're so sweet!"
We need to bring awareness to CBF. Chronic Bitch Face is a serious problem that plagues many of us. Just because someone looks like a bitch, doesn't mean they are one.
I also suffer from CBF. I think we may need to get awareness bracelets.
There's also it's sister disease Way Too Friendly Looking. It causes strangers to feel they can spew their crazy at you with little chance of being stabbed, so they tend to approach you and unload the stupidest most offensive crap they can.
It can make trips to the grocery store turn interesting when a lady follows you to your car to lecture you that instead of buying books for your child, you should act the stories out so that you don't ruin his imagination.
We don't do bracelets though. WTFL sufferers are better served by pepper spray.
Haha, I definitely have this issue. I used to hate taking the train by myself because someone would ALWAYS decide to sit next to me because I looked friendlier than other options. Truth: I'm a judgey ***, don't let my face fool you.
I find it mostly amusing, but when it happens once to twice a week, sometimes it's a bit much. "Listen freak, I don't need to hear about how I'm destroying my child's sperm by feeding him organic apples. I'm in a hurry. Please go away."
Is everyone's head in the sand? People absolutely judge you on your appearance first and foremost. No matter if you are in a suit or a one piece fishnet jumpsuit with a whip. To think that you are not being judged or assumption are not being made about you is ignorant. And to say that you do not draw any conclusions strictly based on a strangers wardrobe would most likely be a lie.
It's not just wardrobe. I can't tell you how many times I've had good friends tell me, "You know when I first met you, I thought you were going to be a bitch. But you're not, you're so sweet!"
We need to bring awareness to CBF. Chronic Bitch Face is a serious problem that plagues many of us. Just because someone looks like a bitch, doesn't mean they are one.
I also suffer from CBF. I think we may need to get awareness bracelets.
Bitchy resting face! That's what they called it! For some odd reason, one caller called it CBF and that's what stuck with me. Go figure.
I loved this video! When I was in 7th grade, my best friend (who was super tiny for a 12 year) almost got beat up by an 8th grader for "screw-facing" (yeah, that's what we called it) the 8th-grader. It was one of the scariest moments of our 7th grade times.
Me 31 DH 34 TTC #1 5/13 BFP #3 5/2/14 DD born 1/19/15 NTNP #2 8/17 BFP 12/13/18 ED 8/21/19
But I do roll my eyes at some of the judging comments I've heard on the bump. I've heard people admit they judge moms on the playground who wear sneakers with jeans, or who wear yoga pants out in public, or who dress their kid in soft cotton or mesh pants or shorts in public. To me, that's ridiculous and those judgers need to get over themselves.
I don't get the sneakers with jeans thing. I grew up on a ranch and jeans are the majority of my non-at work attire. Sneakers and shorts look WEIRD on me. (Plus it doesn't help that I have foot issues and I should be wearing sneakers)
And what the heII else am I supposed to wear (yoga pants) when I go out for a jog? Are we not allowed to run down the road in yoga pants? What if I decide to hit up the store after the gym? Is that not allowed, too?
Damn, some people need to get over themselves. (I know you're just relaying someone else's viewpoint - someone who obviously has a 10 foot pole firmly wedged in between their cheeks)
Wait, we're not supposed to wear jeans with sneakers to the park??? What are we supposed to wear? Heels? Also, I take my kids to the park in yoga pants all the time. IDGAF
DD born 6.13.11 at 37w5d
DS born 5.23.12 at 36w5d
BFP 6.9.13|heartbeat of 128bpm 7weeks|7.23.13 ultrasound revealed no heartbeat|natural m/c and d&c 7.25.13
Is everyone's head in the sand? People absolutely judge you on your appearance first and foremost. No matter if you are in a suit or a one piece fishnet jumpsuit with a whip. To think that you are not being judged or assumption are not being made about you is ignorant. And to say that you do not draw any conclusions strictly based on a strangers wardrobe would most likely be a lie.
It's not just wardrobe. I can't tell you how many times I've had good friends tell me, "You know when I first met you, I thought you were going to be a bitch. But you're not, you're so sweet!"
We need to bring awareness to CBF. Chronic Bitch Face is a serious problem that plagues many of us. Just because someone looks like a bitch, doesn't mean they are one.
I also suffer from CBF. I think we may need to get awareness bracelets.
Bitchy resting face! That's what they called it! For some odd reason, one caller called it CBF and that's what stuck with me. Go figure.
I also suffer from biitch resting face AND voice. I communicate by radio and phone at my job and I have to fake a sweet voice with callers because my normal voice has no tone which is mistaken for being a biitch. My coworkers laugh at me because my voice completely changes after I disconnect. Officers will call and ask what I'm mad at because they think I'm bein mean on the radio. "No, sir, but I'm not giggly or bubbly and I will not suck your diick via the radio. This is my serious shiit is hitting the fan voice."
Me: 32 DH: 31. B/W: good. SA: good. November 2012: Paratubal cyst found during U/S. January 10, 2013: Lap removed paratubal cyst and Stage 2 Endometriosis. 3 cycles of Femara + TI = BFNs
June 2013: Femara 2.5 mg, Gonal F Injects 37.5 IU, Menopur, trigger + IUI = BFN
July 2013: Femara 2.5 mg, Gonal F Injects 75 IU, Menopur, trigger + IUI = BFP!!!!
Beta 1 @ 11 DPIUI = 76. Progesterone = 27.3
BFP 8/16/2013 // EDD 4/28/2014
Jordan Samuel born April 19, 2014. 6 lb, 12 oz and 18 inches long.
But I do roll my eyes at some of the judging comments I've heard on the bump. I've heard people admit they judge moms on the playground who wear sneakers with jeans, or who wear yoga pants out in public, or who dress their kid in soft cotton or mesh pants or shorts in public. To me, that's ridiculous and those judgers need to get over themselves.
I don't get the sneakers with jeans thing. I grew up on a ranch and jeans are the majority of my non-at work attire. Sneakers and shorts look WEIRD on me. (Plus it doesn't help that I have foot issues and I should be wearing sneakers)
And what the heII else am I supposed to wear (yoga pants) when I go out for a jog? Are we not allowed to run down the road in yoga pants? What if I decide to hit up the store after the gym? Is that not allowed, too?
Damn, some people need to get over themselves. (I know you're just relaying someone else's viewpoint - someone who obviously has a 10 foot pole firmly wedged in between their cheeks)
I hike and walk a lot so wear sneakers or boots with shorts even if that may be a fashion error.
But I agree. I just can't see the point of caring what someone else wears. I'm not wearing flats to jump in puddles at the playground with my kid.
I routinely lie to my husband about the things that I buy and how much they cost. Don't get me wrong, I am cheap (I don't buy anything unless it's on sale) but if something cost me $30 I tell him it cost $20 if it was $10 it cost me $6 etc.
He knows I'm not telling him the truth but it's easier just to lie than listen to him whine about something I bought.
I always round down everything I buy. If it was 24,99$ without taxes - It was only like 20 bucks!
But I do roll my eyes at some of the judging comments I've heard on the bump. I've heard people admit they judge moms on the playground who wear sneakers with jeans, or who wear yoga pants out in public, or who dress their kid in soft cotton or mesh pants or shorts in public. To me, that's ridiculous and those judgers need to get over themselves.
I don't get the sneakers with jeans thing. I grew up on a ranch and jeans are the majority of my non-at work attire. Sneakers and shorts look WEIRD on me. (Plus it doesn't help that I have foot issues and I should be wearing sneakers)
And what the heII else am I supposed to wear (yoga pants) when I go out for a jog? Are we not allowed to run down the road in yoga pants? What if I decide to hit up the store after the gym? Is that not allowed, too?
Damn, some people need to get over themselves. (I know you're just relaying someone else's viewpoint - someone who obviously has a 10 foot pole firmly wedged in between their cheeks)
Wait, we're not supposed to wear jeans with sneakers to the park??? What are we supposed to wear? Heels? Also, I take my kids to the park in yoga pants all the time. IDGAF
I was thinking the same thing. I must be judged up the arse since sneakers and jeans are my weekend wear, and also, IDGAF
I also dressed DS exclusively in pajama onsies for the first 3 months of his life. I got all of these adorable outfits at my babyshower, but he had colic and puked on me (and himself) a couple times a day. Onsies were quick and easy to change so that's what's he lived in
But I do roll my eyes at some of the judging comments I've heard on the bump. I've heard people admit they judge moms on the playground who wear sneakers with jeans, or who wear yoga pants out in public, or who dress their kid in soft cotton or mesh pants or shorts in public. To me, that's ridiculous and those judgers need to get over themselves.
I don't get the sneakers with jeans thing. I grew up on a ranch and jeans are the majority of my non-at work attire. Sneakers and shorts look WEIRD on me. (Plus it doesn't help that I have foot issues and I should be wearing sneakers)
And what the heII else am I supposed to wear (yoga pants) when I go out for a jog? Are we not allowed to run down the road in yoga pants? What if I decide to hit up the store after the gym? Is that not allowed, too?
Damn, some people need to get over themselves. (I know you're just relaying someone else's viewpoint - someone who obviously has a 10 foot pole firmly wedged in between their cheeks)
Wait, we're not supposed to wear jeans with sneakers to the park??? What are we supposed to wear? Heels? Also, I take my kids to the park in yoga pants all the time. IDGAF
I was thinking the same thing. I must be judged up the arse since sneakers and jeans are my weekend wear, and also, IDGAF
I also dressed DS exclusively in pajama onsies for the first 3 months of his life. I got all of these adorable outfits at my babyshower, but he had colic and puked on me (and himself) a couple times a day. Onsies were quick and easy to change so that's what's he lived in
i wear jeans, sneakers, and a zip up hoddie jacket thing almost every day to work. it has no impact on my work performance and i don't meet with clients. if clients come in, then we all dress up. i don't have time to analyze anyone's outfits and i sure don't give a fck what they wear as long as they get their work done.
My FFFC - I really don't have a lot of self-confidence.
I lost a lot of weight a couple of years ago and with each pound I lost, I felt better and better about myself. Now, a couple of years later, I've lost it all.
The thing is I'm not the girl who lost weight anymore. I'm just a slightly overweight woman and I don't know how to feel at ease with my body.
Re: FFFC
Yes, this is what I was getting at.
DD born 6.13.11 at 37w5d
DS born 5.23.12 at 36w5d
BFP 6.9.13|heartbeat of 128bpm 7weeks|7.23.13 ultrasound revealed no heartbeat|natural m/c and d&c 7.25.13
DS born 5.20.14 at 38 weeks
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Alright my confession is I can't stand that we have disorders now for literally every behavior under the sun. I know that there are legitimate illnesses and disabilities, but sometimes I miss words like "dumb" and "crazy."
I know I'm getting flamed but that's real talk.
Definitely not looking for a fight. I was just trying to say that not everyone's disabilities are obvious, not everyone is up front about them, and not everyone needs treatment. It sucks to see someone be criticized for something they can't help.
I see that, like fuzzy, I misunderstood your original post. I thought they were two separate statements - you getting made at all people who make those mistakes but also judging your co-worker who you know to be educated. Sorry about that.
Where you raised in a very religious household?
I DO NOT see a reason for your daughter to be angry with you. At all.
Why would she be angry or ashamed of your past? She will be far from the only kid whose parents conceived while not married. Some kid's parents never marry. Some kid's parents are married but divorce before the kid remembers. She is not some pariah or something that would cause her to be ashamed.
Who is feeding you this crap that you should be ashamed of your loving family? Is it the premarital sex that you think is "bad"? The unplanned pregnancy? The casual sex?
I would have been easier to read if the iPad had not eaten my ( )s and I had had not forgotten the one on someone. No biggie.
Yes, I was raised in a pretty religious household that was also involved in scandal. My mom was a nun and my dad was married to someone else when their relationship started. I think their shame and guilt has carried over to me.
I am ashamed of the fact that we were drinking heavily, having irresponsible sex when I should've known better, I was technically married. I mean, we were being really irresponsible to say the least.
DD born 6.13.11 at 37w5d
DS born 5.23.12 at 36w5d
BFP 6.9.13|heartbeat of 128bpm 7weeks|7.23.13 ultrasound revealed no heartbeat|natural m/c and d&c 7.25.13
DS born 5.20.14 at 38 weeks
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Or if I had made my coffee first
Thank you for trimming that quote tree KMM. And for explaining what I was trying to say.
Judging means you draw a conclusion about a person based off of facts or opinions or something you see. Not just that you don't like the outfit. We were trying to find out what conclusion you were drawing. Not thinking they look good isn't a conclusion about the person.
And ignorant. I cannot believe someone would say something so absolutely ridiculous.
And sorry KLN, but mine's food related (and kind of lame because I can never think of a FFC) - I hide food (only junk food or "treats") from DH.
ETA: clarity
Feeling superior for correcting grammar is a bit much, but if nobody corrects the issues (when it is a repeated thing form the same person) how will that person ever learn the correct usage?
I get that some people did not receive proper instruction in grammar, but shouldn't those who did receive that information help those who struggle? It does tend to impede meaning.
BFP April 24, 2018 | EDD December 29, 2018
Have you had therapy? I mean, I don't think everyone needs therapy, but it seems like you could use some help finding a healthy perspective.
There's no reason you should feel shame for your parent's actions.
Drinking heavily.. Meh. Not a big deal. Casual sex? Mild embarrassment if that's not your style, but it is okay to have casual sex if that's your style. If you were married, I might be embarrassed or slightly ashamed, but it shouldn't haunt you daily or cause you to fear your daughter would hate you.
People aren't perfect. If you're religious, God forgives so why can't you forgive yourself?
Your anger at yourself is out of proportion.
Is everyone's head in the sand? People absolutly judge you on your appearance first and formost. No matter if you are in a suit or a one piece fishnet jumpsuit with a whip. To think that you are not being judged or assumption are not being made about you is ignorant. And to say that you do not draw any conclusions strictly based on a strangers wardrobe would most likely be a lie.
I think it depends. Sometimes correcting grammar is simply not necessary. If you get the general idea of what someone is writing and you do not know the person, this it's not necessary to point out mistakes. A lot of people in this country receive sub-par education and it's not their fault. By pointing out their grammatical errors (and then sometimes not even addressing what they are actually trying to say), it can make a person feel stupid, worthless, etc. all because a few commas were misplaced and some words were used incorrectly. It's not kind.
DD born 6.13.11 at 37w5d
DS born 5.23.12 at 36w5d
BFP 6.9.13|heartbeat of 128bpm 7weeks|7.23.13 ultrasound revealed no heartbeat|natural m/c and d&c 7.25.13
DS born 5.20.14 at 38 weeks
All are welcome
I see what you're saying, and maybe strongly judge should have been strongly side-eye. I'm not sure of the terminology, but regardless I really dislike those outfits and it reminds me of Jersey Shore.
I tried to get mad because I didnt know what to feel at first and my parents talked to me about it. They pointed out that the fact they werent married doesnt change how much they loved me or how we are family. We talked about the different kinds of families step parents, adoption, single parents. How can you be mad knowing that two people love you so much. I mean you were blessed with her earlier than you thought but that doesnt diminish how much you love DH or the fact that you were always meant to be a family she just helped you realize it sooner. Don't let anyone make you feel ashamed that you lived your life the way you wanted. You know who her father is you are providing for her there is nothing for her to be mad about. In fact knowing my parents flaws made me talk to them more when I was older because I knew they wouldnt judge me
This was me, I don't know how my old TK SN popped up.
I don't care what others wear. If your bits are covered, I'm happy. I'd notice pajama pants at a funeral or a mini skirt and tube top at a baby shower, but if someone is clean and fairly appropriately dressed, then who cares?
I know others do, and I'm sure I've been judged before. But when you talk about small skirts and clubbing style clothes and mention strongly judging, it's close enough to slut shaming to make people take notice till you clarify.
If the person being corrected is sensitive, I can see how it might make them feel that way, but personally (even though I am a sensitive person) I would much rather be corrected and understand the difference than to keep using something incorrectly. I completely disagree that "it's not kind" to correct someone just because they might be sensitive. Do you think teachers are unkind? If a person's spelling or grammar was never corrected, then how would they learn the difference between what is correct and what is incorrect?
eta: clarity
I have not had therapy, though I have thought about it. I agree that my anger at myself is not appropriate. I know in my head that it's silly to beat myself up, but I still do. I had a chemical pregnancy a few cycles ago and I thought it might be God/Karma/whatever catching up with me. I KNOW that to think that is ridiculous, but the thought did enter my mind. Yeah, the more I'm typing this out to random internet strangers, the more I think therapy may be in order lol.
DD born 6.13.11 at 37w5d
DS born 5.23.12 at 36w5d
BFP 6.9.13|heartbeat of 128bpm 7weeks|7.23.13 ultrasound revealed no heartbeat|natural m/c and d&c 7.25.13
DS born 5.20.14 at 38 weeks
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Thank you for sharing your experience with me. Believe it or not, it does actually help a bit with the anxiety I have over my daughter finding out.
DD born 6.13.11 at 37w5d
DS born 5.23.12 at 36w5d
BFP 6.9.13|heartbeat of 128bpm 7weeks|7.23.13 ultrasound revealed no heartbeat|natural m/c and d&c 7.25.13
DS born 5.20.14 at 38 weeks
All are welcome
Is it wrong I amnow picturing you in thigh high 4' heeled boots rolling around on the ground? :P
DD born 6.13.11 at 37w5d
DS born 5.23.12 at 36w5d
BFP 6.9.13|heartbeat of 128bpm 7weeks|7.23.13 ultrasound revealed no heartbeat|natural m/c and d&c 7.25.13
DS born 5.20.14 at 38 weeks
All are welcome
I judge people who wear pajamas in public. But then I just try tell myself that maybe they can't afford nicer clothes or maybe there are extenuating circumstances like they just had some kind of surgery or something and pj pants are the only thing that fits comfortably at the moment. I know usually that's not the case, but I did feel kind of sorry for Regina George when she said "sweat pants are the only thing that fits me right now." I know that feeling.
And there are so many issues where a person looks healthy but still can't walk or can't walk well.
If someone is so lazy that they'd chose a scooter ride over walking, I'd almost say they deserve more sympathy.
Sympathy may be the wrong word. Scooters are a pain in the butt. My mom broke her femur and needed one to shop for about a year. It was annoying. The charge doesn't hold well, the steering is crap, it is sloooooooow, as much as we talk about things being accessible it's still a pain to get around stores and neighborhoods and shopping plazas.
My mom hated it. I just can't imagine a healthy person choosing that over walking, so I assume they are either injured or disabled... Or that something must be "wrong" with them to be that lazy. I may be underestimating how lazy someone is willing to be. Scooters are a pain.
I love you so much right now!
My questioning of her confession had little to do with thinking clothing doesn't matter. I even said later that I rarely notice clothes unless they're inappropriate for the venue, be it work or a baby shower or church. I questioned because it sounded like she was implying women in those clothes were bad in some way. I get touchy about anything that sounds like slut shaming.
Your appearance matters. But I do roll my eyes at some of the judging comments I've heard on the bump. I've heard people admit they judge moms on the playground who wear sneakers with jeans, or who wear yoga pants out in public, or who dress their kid in soft cotton or mesh pants or shorts in public. To me, that's ridiculous and those judgers need to get over themselves.
There's also it's sister disease Way Too Friendly Looking. It causes strangers to feel they can spew their crazy at you with little chance of being stabbed, so they tend to approach you and unload the stupidest most offensive crap they can.
It can make trips to the grocery store turn interesting when a lady follows you to your car to lecture you that instead of buying books for your child, you should act the stories out so that you don't ruin his imagination.
We don't do bracelets though. WTFL sufferers are better served by pepper spray.
Haha, I definitely have this issue. I used to hate taking the train by myself because someone would ALWAYS decide to sit next to me because I looked friendlier than other options. Truth: I'm a judgey b!tch, don't let my face fool you.
TTC #1 5/13 BFP #3 5/2/14 DD born 1/19/15
NTNP #2 8/17 BFP 12/13/18 ED 8/21/19
I find it mostly amusing, but when it happens once to twice a week, sometimes it's a bit much. "Listen freak, I don't need to hear about how I'm destroying my child's sperm by feeding him organic apples. I'm in a hurry. Please go away."
I loved this video! When I was in 7th grade, my best friend (who was super tiny for a 12 year) almost got beat up by an 8th grader for "screw-facing" (yeah, that's what we called it) the 8th-grader. It was one of the scariest moments of our 7th grade times.
TTC #1 5/13 BFP #3 5/2/14 DD born 1/19/15
NTNP #2 8/17 BFP 12/13/18 ED 8/21/19
Wait, we're not supposed to wear jeans with sneakers to the park??? What are we supposed to wear? Heels? Also, I take my kids to the park in yoga pants all the time. IDGAF
DD born 6.13.11 at 37w5d
DS born 5.23.12 at 36w5d
BFP 6.9.13|heartbeat of 128bpm 7weeks|7.23.13 ultrasound revealed no heartbeat|natural m/c and d&c 7.25.13
DS born 5.20.14 at 38 weeks
All are welcome
I also suffer from biitch resting face AND voice. I communicate by radio and phone at my job and I have to fake a sweet voice with callers because my normal voice has no tone which is mistaken for being a biitch. My coworkers laugh at me because my voice completely changes after I disconnect. Officers will call and ask what I'm mad at because they think I'm bein mean on the radio. "No, sir, but I'm not giggly or bubbly and I will not suck your diick via the radio. This is my serious shiit is hitting the fan voice."
Me: 32 DH: 31.
B/W: good. SA: good.
November 2012: Paratubal cyst found during U/S.
January 10, 2013: Lap removed paratubal cyst and Stage 2 Endometriosis.
3 cycles of Femara + TI = BFNs
June 2013: Femara 2.5 mg, Gonal F Injects 37.5 IU, Menopur, trigger + IUI = BFN
July 2013: Femara 2.5 mg, Gonal F Injects 75 IU, Menopur, trigger + IUI = BFP!!!!
Beta 1 @ 11 DPIUI = 76. Progesterone = 27.3
BFP 8/16/2013 // EDD 4/28/2014
Jordan Samuel born April 19, 2014. 6 lb, 12 oz and 18 inches long.
CLICK ME!!!11!!1111!!
I hike and walk a lot so wear sneakers or boots with shorts even if that may be a fashion error.
But I agree. I just can't see the point of caring what someone else wears. I'm not wearing flats to jump in puddles at the playground with my kid.
I always round down everything I buy. If it was 24,99$ without taxes - It was only like 20 bucks!
I was thinking the same thing. I must be judged up the arse since sneakers and jeans are my weekend wear, and also, IDGAF
I also dressed DS exclusively in pajama onsies for the first 3 months of his life. I got all of these adorable outfits at my babyshower, but he had colic and puked on me (and himself) a couple times a day. Onsies were quick and easy to change so that's what's he lived in
i wear jeans, sneakers, and a zip up hoddie jacket thing almost every day to work. it has no impact on my work performance and i don't meet with clients. if clients come in, then we all dress up. i don't have time to analyze anyone's outfits and i sure don't give a fck what they wear as long as they get their work done.
My FFFC - I really don't have a lot of self-confidence.
I lost a lot of weight a couple of years ago and with each pound I lost, I felt better and better about myself. Now, a couple of years later, I've lost it all.
The thing is I'm not the girl who lost weight anymore. I'm just a slightly overweight woman and I don't know how to feel at ease with my body.