Uh, wow! I never was much of one for drama, though.... Anyway...
I just want to say that you can be miserable at times during your pregnancy and still love being pregnant. It all depends on the attitude you take. Everything has been worse this pregnancy....but all 4 of my pregnancies have each been very different. I've also been in different situations with each of them. But each of them was a blessing, each of them was spiritual (yes, the whole pregnancy, and especially the birth, was a spiritual experience), and I loved being pregnant each time. Yes, I have had some really miserable days, and even periods of several days. The trick is to mentally break that misery somehow...if you wallow in it, it gets worse. If you stay positive, everything will seem better even if you are sick, achey, or dealing with a medical issue.
How is anyone suppose to gather that someone suffering from infertility would be lurking on this board?
Ummm...I'm not lurking...I belong here. I am PG and in my second trimester - I just happened to also suffer from (and will always suffer from) infertility.
I agree that everyone has a right to complain, I do too, but to say it's the worst thing to ever happen to you...that's reaching.
Has my PG been a breeze? F*&k no. It hurts to sit, it hurts to stand, it hurts to sleep, my H and I can't have sex (I'm on pelvic rest) and I have the added benefit of having TONS of BH contractions every day that worry the living daylights out of me but is PG the worst thing that every happened to me? No, I can honestly still say I love being PG.
Well, someone either lurked and C&P'd or "belongs" here and CP'd. Either way, it was people in search of a reason to get worked up.
I'm not the internet police, go where you want. But expecting people to be all sunshine and roses about every pregnancy ever is a bit much, especially when the topic of the board has absolutely zero to do with fertility issues of any kind.
I don't expect anyone to be all sunshine and roses about every PG. I know that's not the case. I'm also ::gasp:: very pro-choice, can you believe it?! An infertile who supports a women's right to chose an abortion over placing her baby up for adoption despite all the people like me who would move heaven and earth to have a baby.
All I'm getting at is know your audience. This board is made up of all kinds of women. Women who are IF, women who have had losses, women who got PG by accident, women who lucked out and got PG the first month trying, etc.
I don't know about you but I'd want to hide under a rock if I ran into a room full of people, b*&ching and moaning about how sore my legs were and how much it sucks to have to shave my legs every day and then see that someone in that room has a pair of prosthetic legs.
..except this is the 2nd trimester board for women in their second trimester. If some people are so sensitive to other people venting about their pregnancy they shouldnt have opened this thread (or stopped reading and walked away after the first post).
The fact of the matter is some people just hate pregnancy. It does suck for a lot of people. It doesn't mean that if you don't ever complain about it that you're a better mother or love your baby more. I can tell you I hated pregnancy but I love my kids. I thought having newborns puke on me, not sleeping and recovering from a c-section was a million times easier than the trials of pregnancy. I don't love them any less just because I thought the journey of bringing them into the world kind of sucked.
What if I went to the loss board and started telling people they couldn't grieve over their second trimester loss because I delivered a stillborn baby at term so I had it worse? Are you going to start policing the parenting boards and yelling at women who are frustrated from getting no sleep to suck it up because they have toddlers while some people don't? Maybe I should avoid going out in public with my kids because there might be a woman at the grocery store who lost a pregnancy whose child would have been the same age as one of mine. If no one could complain because someone else out there had it worse, then no one would ever be able to complain about anything ever. And I'm sure everyone throwing stones at the poster venting about how her pregnancy isn't exactly the greatest thing right now complained about something in their life before.
People losing pregnancies/children is heartbreaking. Those losses don't make the personal/physical struggles of pregnancy any easier.
I was one of those girls who had lots of fertility issues and would get upset over my friends complaining about pregnancy symptoms...I swore I would never complain when/if we ever got pregnant.
Then pregnancy was achieved! I did really well until all of the hard stuff like PTL and being hospitalized for kidney failure and shots to stop contractions and then being in labor for 3 weeks but not being able to do anything about it because my body refused to progress but I couldn't deliver vaginally and HAD to wait until the 39 week mark before I could deliver. You could bet your bottom dollar that I was a mess...a complaining, uncomfortable mess.
It's a perfectly natural instinct to cherish the life you are carrying but still be "grumpy" about the side effects. The OP said that this was not planned and that she was having issues with whether or not she was going to keep the baby in the beginning. So yes, it's okay for her to not feel comfortable being pregnant and it's okay for her to express that. Not to be rude but lurking on a board of women who have achieved something you want dearly is not going to make your dream come true...It didn't work for me when I was on TTTC and the Infertility board either. Sorry you are struggling but don't take someone elses "life battles" so personally. If you can't do that then maybe you shouldn't lurk on a pregnancy board. That's what I had to do.
::Steps back in to lurking::
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I'm very sorry that you are uncomfortable. however I was due August 23 & should be around 31 weeks right now. after TTC for 4 1/2 years I finally got a BFP only to loose my sweet baby at 6 weeks. I should be huge & uncomfortable right now too but I promise you even before my loss I would not have taken it for granted. now after experiencing a loss that I still think about EVERYDAY if I ever get another BFP & it sticks I will absolutely LOVE every pain, every time I puke & will enjoy having to buy bigger clothes b/c my a** is getting huge b/c that means I have a healthy baby growing inside of me that I will love before I even see him or her just like I love my baby I lost a 6 weeks. You really need to think before you post something like this again b/c your words have hurt lots of women who would love to be in your shoes.
TTC since 4/28/07 Diagnosed w/ endometriosis 12/2010 Laproscopic surgery & 6 months of Lupron BFP 12/17/2011,EDD 8/23/12,ectopic discovered 12/29/11 at 6 weeks recieved methotrexate Dec '12 HSG & ultrasound showed abnormalities & more endo. Laproscopic surgery in January '13 showed significant damage & scar tissue from Endo. IVF is our best shot to concieve our rainbow.
Oh well in that case everything you said is just wonderful and you should be forgiven. ?_?
I for one did care what was growing in there and I will so even more next time around. When I was pregnant with my first, I was aware that I was creating a life and it is not supposed to be a walk in the park. I think you may have some reflecting you need to do.
I wasn't really expecting you to forgive anything but I guess I did rather hope you'd apologize for lambasting me in small part because of your own misunderstanding about what I'd written.
I am not apologetic for not being 100% only super-happy-grateful-delighted with my unplanned, initially unwanted, result-of-failed-birth-control baby. Should I have kept my legs together? Sure. The odds were in my favor, but yeah, it ended up being a bad bet. I guess anyone who ever has sex should only be doing so because they would be thrilled if they got pregnant. It'd probably be easier to have a good attitude about it if it had been the result of TTCing, or after a loss, or if I were otherwise in the position of the women who are so offended by my post. But that isn't my reality, and all the berating me in the world, or trying to inflict perspective on me, or telling me I need to reflect, is going to change the way I feel.
You wouldn't feel the way I feel about a pregnancy because your reality is not my reality. You haven't had to give up what I have had to give up due to pregnancy. You haven't had the setbacks I am having. You won't have to give up the opportunities I have had pulled out from under me, that I had worked so hard for so long to have a shot at. So it's really, really easy for you to be so disgusted with me, and imagine that I must just be naive and selfish and horrible.
I hope that you are able to look back at this in 5 years (or maybe even 1) and say that pregnancy was the best thing to happen to you. I know it doesn't seem like it now, especially with the choices, sacrafices, and physical symptoms you've had to deal with. For your sake and for the babies, maybe just try to change the wording in your head from "this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me" to "this is the hardest thing that's ever happened to me." It's amazing what a tiny shift in perspective can do for your mental health... Good luck!
It is literally the worst thing ever to happen to me. I know that just goes to show what a healthy, happy, privileged life I have had up til now, but it truly is. I am totally miserable. I had wretched morning sickness that de-railed my whole life. I am blowing up like a balloon. I don't sleep well. Sex is awkward. I am having gastrointestinal issues. I smell weird. I don't like feeling the baby move. I also don't like NOT feeling the baby move because I panic. I don't like people asking me "how is the baby?" Dude, I have no idea. We are not in ccommunication. I don't like my relatives threatening to touch my stomach. I don't care what is growing in there, that is creepy. And I really don't like having to contact my OB every time something might be wrong but almost certainly isn't.
Literally the worst thing to happen to me was probably being raped so severely by two men that I lost my otherwise healthy twins.
Perspective.
i'm sorry you didn't plan your pregnancy, and it came at an inconvenient time for you. But seriously? You chose to keep the baby. Be grateful for what you DO have.
It is literally the worst thing ever to happen to me. I know that just goes to show what a healthy, happy, privileged life I have had up til now, but it truly is. I am totally miserable. I had wretched morning sickness that de-railed my whole life. I am blowing up like a balloon. I don't sleep well. Sex is awkward. I am having gastrointestinal issues. I smell weird. I don't like feeling the baby move. I also don't like NOT feeling the baby move because I panic. I don't like people asking me "how is the baby?" Dude, I have no idea. We are not in ccommunication. I don't like my relatives threatening to touch my stomach. I don't care what is growing in there, that is creepy. And I really don't like having to contact my OB every time something might be wrong but almost certainly isn't.
Go through the experience of a miscarriage then come talk to me about how "miserable" you are. You sound ignorant, ladies who have experienced multiple miscarriages & continued fertility issues would do anything to have something "growing in there." You must be just a miserable person in general to talk as stupidly as you are.
This is my 3rd baby (4th pregnancy) and I DO enjoy being pregnant.
Is it easy? NO. Not even close. Especially going through my entire 3rd trimester in the summer heat all while carrying a 9-10lb baby and measuring 6 weeks ahead. But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy it.
I love my big belly. I love feeling the baby move. I love the sweet looks I get from strangers. I love that my DH and 2 kids can feel kicks. I love that the baby is ALL MINE for 9 months. Once they arrive, everyone gets him/her, but for now, this babe is mine for the keeping. It's something you don't really realize as a FTM.
Andplusalso? Pregnancy FLIESSSS by.
I think it's all in your attitude/state of mine. Yes, I will have this baby around Labor Day and suffer though 100 degree temps and 100% humidity (like today) at 9 months pregnant all while being a swelling (due to high BP/pre-e) hot mess. But I'm going to have a good attitude and enjoy every minute of it.
What bothers me are the people who treat pregnancy like a handicap. Or the people who complain non-stop over little things.
This is my 3rd baby (4th pregnancy) and I DO enjoy being pregnant.
Is it easy? NO. Not even close. Especially going through my entire 3rd trimester in the summer heat all while carrying a 9-10lb baby and measuring 6 weeks ahead. But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy it.
I love my big belly. I love feeling the baby move. I love the sweet looks I get from strangers. I love that my DH and 2 kids can feel kicks. I love that the baby is ALL MINE for 9 months. Once they arrive, everyone gets him/her, but for now, this babe is mine for the keeping. It's something you don't really realize as a FTM.
Andplusalso? Pregnancy FLIESSSS by.
I think it's all in your attitude/state of mine. Yes, I will have this baby around Labor Day and suffer though 100 degree temps and 100% humidity (like today) at 9 months pregnant all while being a swelling (due to high BP/pre-e) hot mess. But I'm going to have a good attitude and enjoy every minute of it.
What bothers me are the people who treat pregnancy like a handicap. Or the people who complain non-stop over little things.
How is anyone suppose to gather that someone suffering from infertility would be lurking on this board?
Ummm...I'm not lurking...I belong here. I am PG and in my second trimester - I just happened to also suffer from (and will always suffer from) infertility.
I agree that everyone has a right to complain, I do too, but to say it's the worst thing to ever happen to you...that's reaching.
Has my PG been a breeze? F*&k no. It hurts to sit, it hurts to stand, it hurts to sleep, my H and I can't have sex (I'm on pelvic rest) and I have the added benefit of having TONS of BH contractions every day that worry the living daylights out of me but is PG the worst thing that every happened to me? No, I can honestly still say I love being PG.
Well, someone either lurked and C&P'd or "belongs" here and CP'd. Either way, it was people in search of a reason to get worked up.
I'm not the internet police, go where you want. But expecting people to be all sunshine and roses about every pregnancy ever is a bit much, especially when the topic of the board has absolutely zero to do with fertility issues of any kind.
I don't expect anyone to be all sunshine and roses about every PG. I know that's not the case. I'm also ::gasp:: very pro-choice, can you believe it?! An infertile who supports a women's right to chose an abortion over placing her baby up for adoption despite all the people like me who would move heaven and earth to have a baby.
All I'm getting at is know your audience. This board is made up of all kinds of women. Women who are IF, women who have had losses, women who got PG by accident, women who lucked out and got PG the first month trying, etc.
I don't know about you but I'd want to hide under a rock if I ran into a room full of people, b*&ching and moaning about how sore my legs were and how much it sucks to have to shave my legs every day and then see that someone in that room has a pair of prosthetic legs.
..except this is the 2nd trimester board for women in their second trimester. If some people are so sensitive to other people venting about their pregnancy they shouldnt have opened this thread (or stopped reading and walked away after the first post).
The fact of the matter is some people just hate pregnancy. It does suck for a lot of people. It doesn't mean that if you don't ever complain about it that you're a better mother or love your baby more. I can tell you I hated pregnancy but I love my kids. I thought having newborns puke on me, not sleeping and recovering from a c-section was a million times easier than the trials of pregnancy. I don't love them any less just because I thought the journey of bringing them into the world kind of sucked.
What if I went to the loss board and started telling people they couldn't grieve over their second trimester loss because I delivered a stillborn baby at term so I had it worse? Are you going to start policing the parenting boards and yelling at women who are frustrated from getting no sleep to suck it up because they have toddlers while some people don't? Maybe I should avoid going out in public with my kids because there might be a woman at the grocery store who lost a pregnancy whose child would have been the same age as one of mine. If no one could complain because someone else out there had it worse, then no one would ever be able to complain about anything ever. And I'm sure everyone throwing stones at the poster venting about how her pregnancy isn't exactly the greatest thing right now complained about something in their life before.
People losing pregnancies/children is heartbreaking. Those losses don't make the personal/physical struggles of pregnancy any easier.
Again, I'm not saying everyone has to enjoy their PG, I realize a lot of women don't. It's physically and emotionally tough, no doubt about it. And trust me, I'm not so sensitive that I'm going to go home and cry because someone said they hate being PG. I put my big girl panties on every day. I completely understand that her situation is not mine and mine is not hers.
People have every right to complain about the aches and pains of PG, that's the vast majority of posts on the tri boards and BMBs. I just think it's silly to make a blanket statement that all women who say they love being PG are full of s*&t. She has every right b*&ch and moan about how much she hates her PG and how all women who say they love being PG are full of s*&t, just like we have every right to flame her for it.
TTC 12/2009 Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%) IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins! E & C Born 10/19/2012
It is literally the worst thing ever to happen to me. I know that just goes to show what a healthy, happy, privileged life I have had up til now, but it truly is. I am totally miserable. I had wretched morning sickness that de-railed my whole life. I am blowing up like a balloon. I don't sleep well. Sex is awkward. I am having gastrointestinal issues. I smell weird. I don't like feeling the baby move. I also don't like NOT feeling the baby move because I panic. I don't like people asking me "how is the baby?" Dude, I have no idea. We are not in ccommunication. I don't like my relatives threatening to touch my stomach. I don't care what is growing in there, that is creepy. And I really don't like having to contact my OB every time something might be wrong but almost certainly isn't.
Go through the experience of a miscarriage then come talk to me about how "miserable" you are. You sound ignorant, ladies who have experienced multiple miscarriages & continued fertility issues would do anything to have something "growing in there." You must be just a miserable person in general to talk as stupidly as you are.
Really? Between the two of us, me speaking honestly about my pregnancy in a thread that invited whining, and you coming in here and flaming me for it, I must be the miserable person?
Here is the things -- all of this "I will never complain about pregnancy because I wanted it so bad" is a recipe for guilt, anxiety and depression. Don't build it up, because when it isn't sunshine and roses, you will only crash further.
If anything, people been open and honest about the experience is less hurtful than lying about it.
Amen.
You know, no matter what has happened in any one woman's reproductive past, we ARE allowed to complain. I've had two losses, and I reserve every damn right to complain about whatever I want with my successful pregnancy and this pregnancy. Because it's NOT always fun, no matter how badly a woman wants a child. You don't have to struffle with infertility to get the right to complain. On the flip side, you don't have to force yourself to maniacally enjoy every crappy side effect just because you swore that damn it, you are gonna ENJOY this one because you were desperate to have it.
Everyone's situation is different. We are all allowed to love or hate being pregnant in our own bodies. Not one person on here said anything about not loving the baby or that they wished they had never gotten pregnant. It's my belief that if you don't want to read about pregnancy complaints, it's probably best to stick to the boards that don't have that...like PgAL or TTCAL
Jen
Mom to Ava 12.21.04 and Austin 10.22.06
BFP 12/5/11...natural m/c 12/23/11
I think it's really unfortunate when people feel that pregnancy is the worst thing that's ever happened to them, but that's enough to remind me that everyone's experience is different and it's probably best to back off the judgement. I can't relate because my daughter is hands down the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I imagine that most people who feel differently about their pregnancies eventually feel the same way about their children as I do about mine. And if they don't, that's unfortunate - but not really my place to judge.
Some people have great pregnancies, some people have awful ones. Some people have awful pregnancies and are still so happy to be pregnant that you'll never hear them complain because they still love it, despite the sickness and discomfort. That's not BS, it's just a different attitude.
I do think there were a lot of harsh words in here in both directions. I also think it's silly to think that women who have been through IF and pregnancy loss won't see posts like that, and there's something to be said for stopping for a minute and thinking about our words before throwing them out there. If I hadn't lost my fourth IVF baby in my second trimester in May I'd be right here with all of you - still having suffered three other losses after a lot of fertility treatment to get here. Pregnant women complain all the time, that's nothing new or unexpected. I think it was the actual words that set people off. That was some ugly ass complaining. It's too bad that someone's pregnancy has essentially ruined a career, if I'm understanding correctly, but the words were awful.
Pregnant women have every right to complain. It's just a big 'know your audience' topic. Yes, this is second tri, but it's naive to think that women who have suffered won't see it because this is specifically a pregnancy board. A lot of women come to the bump because they've had issues, and hopefully each and every one of them will eventually funnel through 2nd tri and beyond. This isn't just a board for people who've never had reproductive issues.
And yes, this was mentioned on TTCAL or I wouldn't have seen it. I'm not in the habit of lurking on the tri boards right now. I don't really see the benefit and I don't really know why I followed the conversation over here today. All I know is that it's easier to avoid feeling sad about the shittythings people say if I don't go where they're going to say them. TTCAL ladies, it's unlikely that you'll ever change the feelings of someone who feels this way about her pregnancy, and hopefully holding her baby will change her views about her situation. It sounds like it's been rough for her and piling on like this isn't going to make her feel grateful about what's happened to her. Remember that you may envy her ability to carry a healthy pregnancy, but you don't envy her situation. This hasn't been a good thing for her and she's allowed to feel how she needs to about it. She doesn't understand any of our feelings and we don't understand hers. Show her the kind of compassion that you'd like from her.
That was long enough that I don't blame people if they don't read.
TTCALers, there are always lots of hugs on the home board. Ladies who are having a hard time, I hope you find some moments of happiness in your pregnancies.
That was the most intelligent, well-worded response I have read in this thread, and it was absolutely correct in every way.
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How is anyone suppose to gather that someone suffering from infertility would be lurking on this board?
Ummm...I'm not lurking...I belong here. I am PG and in my second trimester - I just happened to also suffer from (and will always suffer from) infertility.
I agree that everyone has a right to complain, I do too, but to say it's the worst thing to ever happen to you...that's reaching.
Has my PG been a breeze? F*&k no. It hurts to sit, it hurts to stand, it hurts to sleep, my H and I can't have sex (I'm on pelvic rest) and I have the added benefit of having TONS of BH contractions every day that worry the living daylights out of me but is PG the worst thing that every happened to me? No, I can honestly still say I love being PG.
Well, someone either lurked and C&P'd or "belongs" here and CP'd. Either way, it was people in search of a reason to get worked up.
I'm not the internet police, go where you want. But expecting people to be all sunshine and roses about every pregnancy ever is a bit much, especially when the topic of the board has absolutely zero to do with fertility issues of any kind.
I don't expect anyone to be all sunshine and roses about every PG. I know that's not the case. I'm also ::gasp:: very pro-choice, can you believe it?! An infertile who supports a women's right to chose an abortion over placing her baby up for adoption despite all the people like me who would move heaven and earth to have a baby.
All I'm getting at is know your audience. This board is made up of all kinds of women. Women who are IF, women who have had losses, women who got PG by accident, women who lucked out and got PG the first month trying, etc.
I don't know about you but I'd want to hide under a rock if I ran into a room full of people, b*&ching and moaning about how sore my legs were and how much it sucks to have to shave my legs every day and then see that someone in that room has a pair of prosthetic legs.
..except this is the 2nd trimester board for women in their second trimester. If some people are so sensitive to other people venting about their pregnancy they shouldnt have opened this thread (or stopped reading and walked away after the first post).
The fact of the matter is some people just hate pregnancy. It does suck for a lot of people. It doesn't mean that if you don't ever complain about it that you're a better mother or love your baby more. I can tell you I hated pregnancy but I love my kids. I thought having newborns puke on me, not sleeping and recovering from a c-section was a million times easier than the trials of pregnancy. I don't love them any less just because I thought the journey of bringing them into the world kind of sucked.
What if I went to the loss board and started telling people they couldn't grieve over their second trimester loss because I delivered a stillborn baby at term so I had it worse? Are you going to start policing the parenting boards and yelling at women who are frustrated from getting no sleep to suck it up because they have toddlers while some people don't? Maybe I should avoid going out in public with my kids because there might be a woman at the grocery store who lost a pregnancy whose child would have been the same age as one of mine. If no one could complain because someone else out there had it worse, then no one would ever be able to complain about anything ever. And I'm sure everyone throwing stones at the poster venting about how her pregnancy isn't exactly the greatest thing right now complained about something in their life before.
People losing pregnancies/children is heartbreaking. Those losses don't make the personal/physical struggles of pregnancy any easier.
Again, I'm not saying everyone has to enjoy their PG, I realize a lot of women don't. It's physically and emotionally tough, no doubt about it. And trust me, I'm not so sensitive that I'm going to go home and cry because someone said they hate being PG. I put my big girl panties on every day. I completely understand that her situation is not mine and mine is not hers.
People have every right to complain about the aches and pains of PG, that's the vast majority of posts on the tri boards and BMBs. I just think it's silly to make a blanket statement that all women who say they love being PG are full of s*&t. She has every right b*&ch and moan about how much she hates her PG and how all women who say they love being PG are full of s*&t, just like we have every right to flame her for it.
Have you followed this thread? No one was bashing the OP for her blanket statement. It's people jumping in about the poster saying her pregnancy has been terrible for her. I would agree with flaming the OP--I'm not for flaming moms who honestly admit pregnancy is not the bee's knees.
That was long enough that I don't blame people if they don't read.
I read the whole thing and I appreciated it.
I really do hope that this works out well for you, and I'm so sorry that it's been something that's made life really hard. Stay strong, okay? There are some really beautiful moments coming to you soon.
Thank you. Things have already gotten a lot better (a lot of my reluctance and misgivings and negative feelings towards the reality of being pregnant evaporated when I got an elective ultrasound).
That was long enough that I don't blame people if they don't read.
I read the whole thing and I appreciated it.
I really do hope that this works out well for you, and I'm so sorry that it's been something that's made life really hard. Stay strong, okay? There are some really beautiful moments coming to you soon.
Thank you. Things have already gotten a lot better (a lot of my reluctance and misgivings and negative feelings towards the reality of being pregnant evaporated when I got an elective ultrasound).
^ I could have written that statement myself.
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I said it was creepy that someone wants to touch my stomach. So that's either a reading comprehension failure on your part, or else twisting my words.
Morning sickness did de-rail my life. It came at a time when failure to perform was incredibly costly to my future, and sure enough, doors closed for me forever as a result.
Ok, I was going to just read and roll my eyes...but this??!?!?!?
God forbid your child gets sick and you have to stay home or worse sit at hospital bedside for days or weeks. Doors could close! It could be incredibly costly to your future! You might not be able to perform!
Get a grip! You are creating life!!!!!
You have made it clear that you did not intend to have this child and your words make it clear that you don't want this child.
Maybe you should think about someone else raising this child.
Not every stage in a person's career has the same potential to set their future as every other stage. It's hard to explain to someone who isn't in my field, but it's a little like (lower stakes, less awesome) Olympic trials, and having morning sickness resulting in puking multiple times a day just as they begin, with a hospitalization in the middle.
And I have thought about someone else raising my child. I did not initially want to be pregnant, but am in a different place about it now.
Thank you. Things have already gotten a lot better (a lot of my reluctance and misgivings and negative feelings towards the reality of being pregnant evaporated when I got an elective ultrasound).
^ I could have written that statement myself.
Wait, really? That's cool. Whatever criticisms one might have about elective U/Ss, it meant a lot to me.
That was a reading comprehension failure on my part. I apologize. From the way you worded it, I thought you meant that the baby growing inside you was creepy.
I know that many harsh things have been said to you because of your response. Your words, while they may be your true feelings, are very shocking and hurtful to many women on these boards. You have the right to share them, but do know that others also have the right to respond with their outrage, too.
I do wish you the best and hope that you can find the blessings in your pregnancy and in your new life with your LO.
I am certainly not trying to censor anyone. And as I have posted on the boards before, my feelings towards my ill-timed accidental pregnancy have started to shift from abject terror to fledgling excitement. I just find it a little unfair that some women seem to think there's only one "valid" way of feeling about pregnancy, which is untempered joy and gratitude.
All of our lives are impacted differently by pregnancy (or struggles with getting and staying pregnant). A lot of the impact for me has been life-changing for the worse. All the miscarriages and struggles other women have had in the world won't change that for me.
Sometimes it takes deliberate effort to get your mind to shift and I'm happy that you're at least beginning to feel excited. I think that given more time that excitement will probably grow and hopefully, one day, you will look back and see things as all having worked out for the best.
The further away I get from my struggles to get pregnant and from my miscarriages the more I can see how they were just one more step getting me to where I am now, which is a good place. That's not to say I will ever not be sad about my losses, in the same way you may never not feel a loss from what has happened in your career, but hopefully someday we will all have peace of mind.
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
I remember a time many moons ago that some women on TTGP were complaining about pregnant women in their lives who complained about their pregnancies. A very wise former TGGP-er who had struggled with IF and got her baby was quick to drop in and explain that pregnancy, in fact, is not all rainbows and sunshine for everybody. And, she was absolutely right. I've had a relatively easy pregnancy, but I would have some room to complain. I don't because I signed up for this and I will be miserable every day for 40 weeks if I have to.
If you are having a bad pregnancy, of course you don't have to love it. But, there are some women who feel and look their best when pregnant, so it's okay for them to love it. Nobody is wrong.
This thread sort of became centered on DelBride, maybe not so unfairly at first. DelBride, I wish (not that you needed to) that you had explained your situation more in your first post. I judged you initially as well. After you explained your situation, I take back that judgement and I truly hope that once your baby is here you are able to put what you've lost in the past. I do understand that not all pregnancies are good things or wanted. Your words were harsh, but after reading further, you have my sympathies. While I would never feel how you do, I can understand. I hope things work out the best for you in the end.
Proud Doxie Mommy
TTC #1 since Sept. 2009 - DX unexplained IF March 2011 - "Surprise" BFP March 2012
I remember a time many moons ago that some women on TTGP were complaining about pregnant women in their lives who complained about their pregnancies. A very wise former TGGP-er who had struggled with IF and got her baby was quick to drop in and explain that pregnancy, in fact, is not all rainbows and sunshine for everybody. And, she was absolutely right. I've had a relatively easy pregnancy, but I would have some room to complain. I don't because I signed up for this and I will be miserable every day for 40 weeks if I have to.
If you are having a bad pregnancy, of course you don't have to love it. But, there are some women who feel and look their best when pregnant, so it's okay for them to love it. Nobody is wrong.
This thread sort of became centered on DelBride, maybe not so unfairly at first. DelBride, I wish (not that you needed to) that you had explained your situation more in your first post. I judged you initially as well. After you explained your situation, I take back that judgement and I truly hope that once your baby is here you are able to put what you've lost in the past. I do understand that not all pregnancies are good things or wanted. Your words were harsh, but after reading further, you have my sympathies. While I would never feel how you do, I can understand. I hope things work out the best for you in the end.
Well I really didn't want to get into my whole life story in a thread that was just shaping up to be a pregnancy vent/gloat thread, which is why I kept it vague.
Hard or easy, sick or not sick, in the end it's how you see these things.
I enjoy pregnancy regardless of how scary my legs look and that my butt feels like a solid bruise from veins sticking out. I feel special because I am doing something very special.
There is no right or wrong, you cannot control a lot of things, but for the most part you get to control your attitude. Hope it gets easier for you !
I've hated being pregnant so far (ive been sick everyday since day #1), but i LOVE my daughter & cannot wait for her to get here. The two are very different things & I think many of you are mistaking one for the other.
Just because someone says that they "hate being pregnant" or "hate pregnancy" or that "it was the worst thing thats ever happened" does not mean they hate there child AT ALL. i guarantee most of the people saying that would do it over again in a heartbeat if they had to, to get there child here.
I don't believe there is anything wrong in hating the process of how a child gets here! I absolutely hate it but I would do it all over again if i had to....
To all of you who has lost a child commenting on this board: maybe you shouldn't be reading other peoples opinions if you cant handle it after all this is the 2nd tri board & we complain ALOT!!! & some of us don't know what's next because its our first child so we are very focused on right now!
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How is saying that this (and by this, she does not mean the pregnancy, she means her sickness) is the worst thing that she's ever experienced in her life, flame-worthy at all?! She went on to say that it goes to show how she has been blessed with good health. The SICKNESS has interfered with her life. If you caught the flu really badly, and it cost you a promotion at work because you were out sick vomiting during the big meeting (or whatever) and couldn't make that presentation you had been working on, wouldn't you feel like the sickness was a significant negative force in your life at that time? It just happens that her sickness is associated with a baby growing inside her. A baby that she wants, has decided to keep, and loves.
Also. To all those who keep re-posting about the "creepy" comment: FFS, if you're going to flame her, READ THE POST. She doesn't like people TOUCHING her belly. Jeez. Neither do I, neither do most women. I don't care if I have an effing magic lamp in my belly, I do not want people rubbing it, let alone my baby.
Thank you. Things have already gotten a lot better (a lot of my reluctance and misgivings and negative feelings towards the reality of being pregnant evaporated when I got an elective ultrasound).
^ I could have written that statement myself.
Wait, really? That's cool. Whatever criticisms one might have about elective U/Ss, it meant a lot to me.
Yeah, my pregnancy wasn't planned at all. I was still having a lot of issues about things, but seeing her and the whole experience gave me a completely new feeling. Also, feeling her move.
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It is literally the worst thing ever to happen to me. I know that just goes to show what a healthy, happy, privileged life I have had up til now, but it truly is. I am totally miserable. I had wretched morning sickness that de-railed my whole life. I am blowing up like a balloon. I don't sleep well. Sex is awkward. I am having gastrointestinal issues. I smell weird. I don't like feeling the baby move. I also don't like NOT feeling the baby move because I panic. I don't like people asking me "how is the baby?" Dude, I have no idea. We are not in ccommunication. I don't like my relatives threatening to touch my stomach. I don't care what is growing in there, that is creepy. And I really don't like having to contact my OB every time something might be wrong but almost certainly isn't.
You know what the worst thing in my life was? Delivering my dead son at 18 weeks pregnant, there is nothing I wouldnt give to be able to post on this board, no amount of morning sickness, back pain, or weight gain i wouldnt deal with to have Joshua back.
Just because someone says that they "hate being pregnant" or "hate pregnancy" or that "it was the worst thing that's ever happened" does not mean they hate their child AT ALL. i guarantee most of the people saying that would do it over again in a heartbeat if they had to, to get their child here.
I don't believe there is anything wrong in hating the process of how a child gets here! I absolutely hate it but I would do it all over again if i had to....
To all of you who has lost a child commenting on this board: maybe you shouldn't be reading other peoples opinions if you cant handle it after all this is the 2nd tri board & we complain A LOT!!! & some of us don't know what's next because its our first child so we are very focused on right now!
1. FTFY. YWIA.
2. Um, last time I checked, I'm in my second trimester...oh, AND I've had MULTIPLE losses. I opened this thread because the title was "to those who say they love being pregnant..." and....that applies to me, because I LOVE BEING PREGNANT. I never said anyone couldn't complain. Complain away, what do I give a sh*t? I couldn't care less if you complain. My issue was not with someone complaining, it was with someone saying that her pregnancy was "the worst thing that's ever happened." to her. I'm sorry, I actually think a child is a BLESSING. Yeah, I get it, chick's birth control "failed" and it "wasn't the right time"...So, don't keep the baby. Give it up for adoption or hey, even get an abortion if that's your style. But don't live your life resenting your child because it came along and "closed doors forever" for you. That's petty and selfish.
OH and I never claimed that people who don't love being pregnant don't love their children. Not even a little bit did I claim that. So shove off.
I am still surprised how many people think feelings about pregnancy have jack *** to do with one's feelings about their child. I guess I missed where it is written that you need to love the journey in order to cherish the end result.
Jesus, woman, you are annoying. NOT EVERYONE who commented said that because someone doesn't love pregnancy, they won't love their kid. Can you read? Or do you just keep coming back to stir sh*t up?
I for one never stated that anyone wouldn't love their kid. But the chick that said "pregnancy is the worst thing to happen to her" had it coming, mmkay? It's called 'perspective' and some people should try getting some.
Just because someone says that they "hate being pregnant" or "hate pregnancy" or that "it was the worst thing that's ever happened" does not mean they hate their child AT ALL. i guarantee most of the people saying that would do it over again in a heartbeat if they had to, to get their child here.
I don't believe there is anything wrong in hating the process of how a child gets here! I absolutely hate it but I would do it all over again if i had to....
To all of you who has lost a child commenting on this board: maybe you shouldn't be reading other peoples opinions if you cant handle it after all this is the 2nd tri board & we complain A LOT!!! & some of us don't know what's next because its our first child so we are very focused on right now!
1. FTFY. YWIA.
2. Um, last time I checked, I'm in my second trimester...oh, AND I've had MULTIPLE losses. I opened this thread because the title was "to those who say they love being pregnant..." and....that applies to me, because I LOVE BEING PREGNANT. I never said anyone couldn't complain. Complain away, what do I give a sh*t? I couldn't care less if you complain. My issue was not with someone complaining, it was with someone saying that her pregnancy was "the worst thing that's ever happened." to her. I'm sorry, I actually think a child is a BLESSING. Yeah, I get it, chick's birth control "failed" and it "wasn't the right time"...So, don't keep the baby. Give it up for adoption or hey, even get an abortion if that's your style. But don't live your life resenting your child because it came along and "closed doors forever" for you. That's petty and selfish.
OH and I never claimed that people who don't love being pregnant don't love their children. Not even a little bit did I claim that. So shove off.
Actually she didn't say pregnancy was the worst thing thats ever happened to her.. the sickness & feeling bad part of pregnancy was.. just FYI! wowww people are very defensive these days. also thanks for correcting my HORRIBLE grammar, so sweet of you
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I've hated being pregnant so far (ive been sick everyday since day #1), but i LOVE my daughter & cannot wait for her to get here. The two are very different things & I think many of you are mistaking one for the other.
Just because someone says that they "hate being pregnant" or "hate pregnancy" or that "it was the worst thing thats ever happened" does not mean they hate there child AT ALL. i guarantee most of the people saying that would do it over again in a heartbeat if they had to, to get there child here.
I don't believe there is anything wrong in hating the process of how a child gets here! I absolutely hate it but I would do it all over again if i had to....
To all of you who has lost a child commenting on this board: maybe you shouldn't be reading other peoples opinions if you cant handle it after all this is the 2nd tri board & we complain ALOT!!! & some of us don't know what's next because its our first child so we are very focused on right now!
You really shouldn't have full names available for anyone who sees your posts.
thanks for the tip.. i actually didn't realize my stuff was public until now and as far as my daughters name.. shes not here yet so i'm really not concerned if people know her name bc she is safe inside me so you would have to get through me first lol...
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Actually she didn't say pregnancy was the worst thing thats ever happened to her.. the sickness & feeling bad part of pregnancy was.. just FYI! wowww people are very defensive these days. also thanks for correcting my HORRIBLE grammar, so sweet of you
DelBride2012:
It is literally the worst thing ever to
happen to me. I know that just goes to show what a healthy, happy,
privileged life I have had up til now, but it truly is. I am totally
miserable. I had wretched morning sickness that de-railed my whole life.
I am blowing up like a balloon. I don't sleep well. Sex is awkward. I
am having gastrointestinal issues. I smell weird. I don't like feeling
the baby move. I also don't like NOT feeling the baby move because I
panic. I don't like people asking me "how is the baby?" Dude, I have no
idea. We are not in ccommunication. I don't like my relatives
threatening to touch my stomach. I don't care what is growing in there,
that is creepy. And I really don't like having to contact my OB every
time something might be wrong but almost certainly isn't.
I quoted her whole post to make it easier for you. She responded to a post titled "to those who say they love being pregnant" which included a rant in the OP. Her first sentence is "it is literally the worst thing ever to happen to me." Yes, she goes on to mention being "healthy" (as well as happy and privileged) before. She also mentions morning sickness, you are right. Then again, she also rattles off a litany of other complaints of why pregnancy is the worst thing to happen to her, including the fact that it's derailing her career (which she mentions in further posts.)
She didn't say "morning sickness is the worst thing to ever happen to me." That would have been taken WAAAAAY differently.
But I can see I just can't get through to you, and that's fine with me. We'll have to agree to disagree. Oh, and, you're welcome. Bad spelling and grammar are pet peeves of mine.
Also I see a lot of people "lurking" from other boards... do yall just go around looking to start an argument or drama? it's a little strange!
So, you're telling me you've never looked at a board that didn't specifically pertain to you?
No i actually haven't.. They don't concern me because i'm not there yet in my life!
Gee, aren't you special and unique. For most of us though, we have friends who we like to check in on, or boards that we were on but no longer belong because of m/c but don't have the heart to stay away. You're fortunate that you neither have friends or haven't experienced a m/c. Either way, there are lurkers all over these boards. Just look at the CFNBC boards who have thousands of hits but hardly any members.
And no, the ALers not starting drama, they're expressing their very valid opinions and sharing their experiences. Perhaps you don't understand why they are upset, but that would be because you've never been through what they have. Someone who has experienced a m/c knows better than to make stupid thoughtless complaints about being pg, plain and simple. It's called class and OP and several of you 2nd tri "complainers" need it.
Actually she didn't say pregnancy was the worst thing thats ever happened to her.. the sickness & feeling bad part of pregnancy was.. just FYI! wowww people are very defensive these days. also thanks for correcting my HORRIBLE grammar, so sweet of you
DelBride2012:
It is literally the worst thing ever to
happen to me. I know that just goes to show what a healthy, happy,
privileged life I have had up til now, but it truly is. I am totally
miserable. I had wretched morning sickness that de-railed my whole life.
I am blowing up like a balloon. I don't sleep well. Sex is awkward. I
am having gastrointestinal issues. I smell weird. I don't like feeling
the baby move. I also don't like NOT feeling the baby move because I
panic. I don't like people asking me "how is the baby?" Dude, I have no
idea. We are not in ccommunication. I don't like my relatives
threatening to touch my stomach. I don't care what is growing in there,
that is creepy. And I really don't like having to contact my OB every
time something might be wrong but almost certainly isn't.
I quoted her whole post to make it easier for you. She responded to a post titled "to those who say they love being pregnant" which included a rant in the OP. Her first sentence is "it is literally the worst thing ever to happen to me." Yes, she goes on to mention being "healthy" (as well as happy and privileged) before. She also mentions morning sickness, you are right. Then again, she also rattles off a litany of other complaints of why pregnancy is the worst thing to happen to her, including the fact that it's derailing her career (which she mentions in further posts.)
She didn't say "morning sickness is the worst thing to ever happen to me." That would have been taken WAAAAAY differently.
But I can see I just can't get through to you, and that's fine with me. We'll have to agree to disagree. Oh, and, you're welcome. Bad spelling and grammar are pet peeves of mine.
God forbid I have a different view & opinion on what she said than you... its like I just murdered someone. Iy yi yi!!!
To me, it really does look like she meant the sickness aspect of pregnancy, not that she doesn't want her child or doesn't love her child or that the child is the worst thing that has ever happened to her. I also do not like to feel the baby move sometimes because it makes me sick, so i understand what she means when she says that. Some peoples body's just do not adjust as well as others.
She may when its all said & done & the baby is here might have a different view.. but right now she hates it which is okay too! Yes, we clearly do have different opinions on the subject & that's alright lol.
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I think it is one of those things that you look back on and your like I miss my belly or I miss being pregnant! I love my little man and I have had a bad pregnancy but I wouldn't take any of it back. I get morning sickness atleast 3 times a week still and I have to pretty much hold my legs together when I sneeze so I don't sniss, and I have been in the hospital twice for dehydration/Heart palpitations. But I see exactly what your saying it isn't fun at all just the end result! What really annoys me is the guys don't understand what we go through until they experience being there when you give birth.
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Also I see a lot of people "lurking" from other boards... do yall just go around looking to start an argument or drama? it's a little strange!
So, you're telling me you've never looked at a board that didn't specifically pertain to you?
No i actually haven't.. They don't concern me because i'm not there yet in my life!
Gee, aren't you special and unique. For most of us though, we have friends who we like to check in on, or boards that we were on but no longer belong because of m/c but don't have the heart to stay away. You're fortunate that you neither have friends or haven't experienced a m/c. Either way, there are lurkers all over these boards. Just look at the CFNBC boards who have thousands of hits but hardly any members.
And no, the ALers not starting drama, they're expressing their very valid opinions and sharing their experiences. Perhaps you don't understand why they are upset, but that would be because you've never been through what they have. Someone who has experienced a m/c knows better than to make stupid thoughtless complaints about being pg, plain and simple. It's called class and OP and several of you 2nd tri "complainers" need it.
Again though, you're getting mad about us 2nd tri "complainers" complaining on the 2ND TRI BOARD.... It's pointless for you to get mad at us because we don't understand & its impossible for us to understand unless we go through it. Which was the point I was trying to make.. why come to the board knowing its probably gonna make you mad? That's like me going to a different board, expressing my opinion & getting mad when people don't understand it because they haven't been through what i've been through... it just doesn't make sense at all. Which is why I don't do that.. I stick to what I know...
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Re: To those who say they love being pregnant. . .
Uh, wow! I never was much of one for drama, though.... Anyway...
I just want to say that you can be miserable at times during your pregnancy and still love being pregnant. It all depends on the attitude you take. Everything has been worse this pregnancy....but all 4 of my pregnancies have each been very different. I've also been in different situations with each of them. But each of them was a blessing, each of them was spiritual (yes, the whole pregnancy, and especially the birth, was a spiritual experience), and I loved being pregnant each time. Yes, I have had some really miserable days, and even periods of several days. The trick is to mentally break that misery somehow...if you wallow in it, it gets worse. If you stay positive, everything will seem better even if you are sick, achey, or dealing with a medical issue.
..except this is the 2nd trimester board for women in their second trimester. If some people are so sensitive to other people venting about their pregnancy they shouldnt have opened this thread (or stopped reading and walked away after the first post).
The fact of the matter is some people just hate pregnancy. It does suck for a lot of people. It doesn't mean that if you don't ever complain about it that you're a better mother or love your baby more. I can tell you I hated pregnancy but I love my kids. I thought having newborns puke on me, not sleeping and recovering from a c-section was a million times easier than the trials of pregnancy. I don't love them any less just because I thought the journey of bringing them into the world kind of sucked.
What if I went to the loss board and started telling people they couldn't grieve over their second trimester loss because I delivered a stillborn baby at term so I had it worse? Are you going to start policing the parenting boards and yelling at women who are frustrated from getting no sleep to suck it up because they have toddlers while some people don't? Maybe I should avoid going out in public with my kids because there might be a woman at the grocery store who lost a pregnancy whose child would have been the same age as one of mine. If no one could complain because someone else out there had it worse, then no one would ever be able to complain about anything ever. And I'm sure everyone throwing stones at the poster venting about how her pregnancy isn't exactly the greatest thing right now complained about something in their life before.
People losing pregnancies/children is heartbreaking. Those losses don't make the personal/physical struggles of pregnancy any easier.
::lurking::
I was one of those girls who had lots of fertility issues and would get upset over my friends complaining about pregnancy symptoms...I swore I would never complain when/if we ever got pregnant.
Then pregnancy was achieved! I did really well until all of the hard stuff like PTL and being hospitalized for kidney failure and shots to stop contractions and then being in labor for 3 weeks but not being able to do anything about it because my body refused to progress but I couldn't deliver vaginally and HAD to wait until the 39 week mark before I could deliver. You could bet your bottom dollar that I was a mess...a complaining, uncomfortable mess.
It's a perfectly natural instinct to cherish the life you are carrying but still be "grumpy" about the side effects. The OP said that this was not planned and that she was having issues with whether or not she was going to keep the baby in the beginning. So yes, it's okay for her to not feel comfortable being pregnant and it's okay for her to express that. Not to be rude but lurking on a board of women who have achieved something you want dearly is not going to make your dream come true...It didn't work for me when I was on TTTC and the Infertility board either. Sorry you are struggling but don't take someone elses "life battles" so personally. If you can't do that then maybe you shouldn't lurk on a pregnancy board. That's what I had to do.
::Steps back in to lurking::
Diagnosed w/ endometriosis 12/2010 Laproscopic surgery & 6 months of Lupron
BFP 12/17/2011,EDD 8/23/12,ectopic discovered 12/29/11 at 6 weeks recieved methotrexate
Dec '12 HSG & ultrasound showed abnormalities & more endo. Laproscopic surgery in January '13 showed significant damage & scar tissue from Endo. IVF is our best shot to concieve our rainbow.
June '13 Decided to go the adoption route!
***PGAL/PAL WELCOME***
I hope that you are able to look back at this in 5 years (or maybe even 1) and say that pregnancy was the best thing to happen to you. I know it doesn't seem like it now, especially with the choices, sacrafices, and physical symptoms you've had to deal with. For your sake and for the babies, maybe just try to change the wording in your head from "this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me" to "this is the hardest thing that's ever happened to me." It's amazing what a tiny shift in perspective can do for your mental health... Good luck!
Love you, hun...
Go through the experience of a miscarriage then come talk to me about how "miserable" you are. You sound ignorant, ladies who have experienced multiple miscarriages & continued fertility issues would do anything to have something "growing in there." You must be just a miserable person in general to talk as stupidly as you are.
BFP #2 - 04/04/12, 1st Beta @ 9DPO 19, 2nd Beta @ 13 DPO 168. 1st u/s - 4/30/12 - we have a heartbeat!!
OMG! Couldn't have said it better myself!!
Again, I'm not saying everyone has to enjoy their PG, I realize a lot of women don't. It's physically and emotionally tough, no doubt about it. And trust me, I'm not so sensitive that I'm going to go home and cry because someone said they hate being PG. I put my big girl panties on every day. I completely understand that her situation is not mine and mine is not hers.
People have every right to complain about the aches and pains of PG, that's the vast majority of posts on the tri boards and BMBs. I just think it's silly to make a blanket statement that all women who say they love being PG are full of s*&t. She has every right b*&ch and moan about how much she hates her PG and how all women who say they love being PG are full of s*&t, just like we have every right to flame her for it.
Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
E & C Born 10/19/2012
Really? Between the two of us, me speaking honestly about my pregnancy in a thread that invited whining, and you coming in here and flaming me for it, I must be the miserable person?
Amen.
You know, no matter what has happened in any one woman's reproductive past, we ARE allowed to complain. I've had two losses, and I reserve every damn right to complain about whatever I want with my successful pregnancy and this pregnancy. Because it's NOT always fun, no matter how badly a woman wants a child. You don't have to struffle with infertility to get the right to complain. On the flip side, you don't have to force yourself to maniacally enjoy every crappy side effect just because you swore that damn it, you are gonna ENJOY this one because you were desperate to have it.
This.
Everyone's situation is different. We are all allowed to love or hate being pregnant in our own bodies. Not one person on here said anything about not loving the baby or that they wished they had never gotten pregnant. It's my belief that if you don't want to read about pregnancy complaints, it's probably best to stick to the boards that don't have that...like PgAL or TTCAL
Mom to Ava 12.21.04 and Austin 10.22.06
BFP 12/5/11...natural m/c 12/23/11
That was the most intelligent, well-worded response I have read in this thread, and it was absolutely correct in every way.
I read the whole thing and I appreciated it.
Have you followed this thread? No one was bashing the OP for her blanket statement. It's people jumping in about the poster saying her pregnancy has been terrible for her. I would agree with flaming the OP--I'm not for flaming moms who honestly admit pregnancy is not the bee's knees.
Thank you. Things have already gotten a lot better (a lot of my reluctance and misgivings and negative feelings towards the reality of being pregnant evaporated when I got an elective ultrasound).
^ I could have written that statement myself.
Not every stage in a person's career has the same potential to set their future as every other stage. It's hard to explain to someone who isn't in my field, but it's a little like (lower stakes, less awesome) Olympic trials, and having morning sickness resulting in puking multiple times a day just as they begin, with a hospitalization in the middle.
And I have thought about someone else raising my child. I did not initially want to be pregnant, but am in a different place about it now.
Wait, really? That's cool. Whatever criticisms one might have about elective U/Ss, it meant a lot to me.
Sometimes it takes deliberate effort to get your mind to shift and I'm happy that you're at least beginning to feel excited. I think that given more time that excitement will probably grow and hopefully, one day, you will look back and see things as all having worked out for the best.
The further away I get from my struggles to get pregnant and from my miscarriages the more I can see how they were just one more step getting me to where I am now, which is a good place. That's not to say I will ever not be sad about my losses, in the same way you may never not feel a loss from what has happened in your career, but hopefully someday we will all have peace of mind.
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
**lurker**
I remember a time many moons ago that some women on TTGP were complaining about pregnant women in their lives who complained about their pregnancies. A very wise former TGGP-er who had struggled with IF and got her baby was quick to drop in and explain that pregnancy, in fact, is not all rainbows and sunshine for everybody. And, she was absolutely right. I've had a relatively easy pregnancy, but I would have some room to complain. I don't because I signed up for this and I will be miserable every day for 40 weeks if I have to.
If you are having a bad pregnancy, of course you don't have to love it. But, there are some women who feel and look their best when pregnant, so it's okay for them to love it. Nobody is wrong.
This thread sort of became centered on DelBride, maybe not so unfairly at first. DelBride, I wish (not that you needed to) that you had explained your situation more in your first post. I judged you initially as well. After you explained your situation, I take back that judgement and I truly hope that once your baby is here you are able to put what you've lost in the past. I do understand that not all pregnancies are good things or wanted. Your words were harsh, but after reading further, you have my sympathies. While I would never feel how you do, I can understand. I hope things work out the best for you in the end.
Well I really didn't want to get into my whole life story in a thread that was just shaping up to be a pregnancy vent/gloat thread, which is why I kept it vague.
Hard or easy, sick or not sick, in the end it's how you see these things.
I enjoy pregnancy regardless of how scary my legs look and that my butt feels like a solid bruise from veins sticking out. I feel special because I am doing something very special.
There is no right or wrong, you cannot control a lot of things, but for the most part you get to control your attitude. Hope it gets easier for you !
I've hated being pregnant so far (ive been sick everyday since day #1), but i LOVE my daughter & cannot wait for her to get here. The two are very different things & I think many of you are mistaking one for the other.
Just because someone says that they "hate being pregnant" or "hate pregnancy" or that "it was the worst thing thats ever happened" does not mean they hate there child AT ALL. i guarantee most of the people saying that would do it over again in a heartbeat if they had to, to get there child here.
I don't believe there is anything wrong in hating the process of how a child gets here! I absolutely hate it but I would do it all over again if i had to....
To all of you who has lost a child commenting on this board: maybe you shouldn't be reading other peoples opinions if you cant handle it after all this is the 2nd tri board & we complain ALOT!!! & some of us don't know what's next because its our first child so we are very focused on right now!
How is saying that this (and by this, she does not mean the pregnancy, she means her sickness) is the worst thing that she's ever experienced in her life, flame-worthy at all?! She went on to say that it goes to show how she has been blessed with good health. The SICKNESS has interfered with her life. If you caught the flu really badly, and it cost you a promotion at work because you were out sick vomiting during the big meeting (or whatever) and couldn't make that presentation you had been working on, wouldn't you feel like the sickness was a significant negative force in your life at that time? It just happens that her sickness is associated with a baby growing inside her. A baby that she wants, has decided to keep, and loves.
Also. To all those who keep re-posting about the "creepy" comment: FFS, if you're going to flame her, READ THE POST. She doesn't like people TOUCHING her belly. Jeez. Neither do I, neither do most women. I don't care if I have an effing magic lamp in my belly, I do not want people rubbing it, let alone my baby.
It gets linked to other boards by people who are on this board, and then it goes viral.
Yeah, my pregnancy wasn't planned at all. I was still having a lot of issues about things, but seeing her and the whole experience gave me a completely new feeling. Also, feeling her move.
You know what the worst thing in my life was?
Delivering my dead son at 18 weeks pregnant, there is nothing I wouldnt give to be able to post on this board, no amount of morning sickness, back pain, or weight gain i wouldnt deal with to have Joshua back.
1. FTFY. YWIA.
2. Um, last time I checked, I'm in my second trimester...oh, AND I've had MULTIPLE losses. I opened this thread because the title was "to those who say they love being pregnant..." and....that applies to me, because I LOVE BEING PREGNANT. I never said anyone couldn't complain. Complain away, what do I give a sh*t? I couldn't care less if you complain. My issue was not with someone complaining, it was with someone saying that her pregnancy was "the worst thing that's ever happened." to her. I'm sorry, I actually think a child is a BLESSING. Yeah, I get it, chick's birth control "failed" and it "wasn't the right time"...So, don't keep the baby. Give it up for adoption or hey, even get an abortion if that's your style. But don't live your life resenting your child because it came along and "closed doors forever" for you. That's petty and selfish.
OH and I never claimed that people who don't love being pregnant don't love their children. Not even a little bit did I claim that. So shove off.
Jesus, woman, you are annoying. NOT EVERYONE who commented said that because someone doesn't love pregnancy, they won't love their kid. Can you read? Or do you just keep coming back to stir sh*t up?
I for one never stated that anyone wouldn't love their kid. But the chick that said "pregnancy is the worst thing to happen to her" had it coming, mmkay? It's called 'perspective' and some people should try getting some.
Actually she didn't say pregnancy was the worst thing thats ever happened to her.. the sickness & feeling bad part of pregnancy was.. just FYI!
wowww people are very defensive these days. also thanks for correcting my HORRIBLE grammar, so sweet of you 
No i actually haven't.. They don't concern me because i'm not there yet in my life!
thanks for the tip.. i actually didn't realize my stuff was public until now and as far as my daughters name.. shes not here yet so i'm really not concerned if people know her name bc she is safe inside me so you would have to get through me first
I quoted her whole post to make it easier for you. She responded to a post titled "to those who say they love being pregnant" which included a rant in the OP. Her first sentence is "it is literally the worst thing ever to happen to me." Yes, she goes on to mention being "healthy" (as well as happy and privileged) before. She also mentions morning sickness, you are right. Then again, she also rattles off a litany of other complaints of why pregnancy is the worst thing to happen to her, including the fact that it's derailing her career (which she mentions in further posts.)
She didn't say "morning sickness is the worst thing to ever happen to me." That would have been taken WAAAAAY differently.
But I can see I just can't get through to you, and that's fine with me. We'll have to agree to disagree. Oh, and, you're welcome. Bad spelling and grammar are pet peeves of mine.
Gee, aren't you special and unique. For most of us though, we have friends who we like to check in on, or boards that we were on but no longer belong because of m/c but don't have the heart to stay away. You're fortunate that you neither have friends or haven't experienced a m/c. Either way, there are lurkers all over these boards. Just look at the CFNBC boards who have thousands of hits but hardly any members.
And no, the ALers not starting drama, they're expressing their very valid opinions and sharing their experiences. Perhaps you don't understand why they are upset, but that would be because you've never been through what they have. Someone who has experienced a m/c knows better than to make stupid thoughtless complaints about being pg, plain and simple. It's called class and OP and several of you 2nd tri "complainers" need it.
BFP #1: 8/2011 ** EDD: 5/9/2012 ** Missed m/c discovered at 13 weeks
BFP #2: 4/4/2012 ** EDD: 12/24/12 ** Born: Charlotte "Charlie" Olivia 12/18/2013, 8 lbs 1 oz, 21 inches!!!
God forbid I have a different view & opinion on what she said than you... its like I just murdered someone. Iy yi yi!!!
To me, it really does look like she meant the sickness aspect of pregnancy, not that she doesn't want her child or doesn't love her child or that the child is the worst thing that has ever happened to her. I also do not like to feel the baby move sometimes because it makes me sick, so i understand what she means when she says that. Some peoples body's just do not adjust as well as others.
She may when its all said & done & the baby is here might have a different view.. but right now she hates it which is okay too! Yes, we clearly do have different opinions on the subject & that's alright lol.
Again though, you're getting mad about us 2nd tri "complainers" complaining on the 2ND TRI BOARD.... It's pointless for you to get mad at us because we don't understand & its impossible for us to understand unless we go through it. Which was the point I was trying to make.. why come to the board knowing its probably gonna make you mad? That's like me going to a different board, expressing my opinion & getting mad when people don't understand it because they haven't been through what i've been through... it just doesn't make sense at all. Which is why I don't do that.. I stick to what I know...