November 2012 Moms

Have you/will you announce on FB & why/whynot?

I'll be 15 weeks in a few days, and I haven't made a Facebook announcement. My family is constantly asking me why and bugging me about it. My SIL said something like she has been "checking every day and wondering." Wth! Who cares?

I don't plan on saying anything until I've found out the sex, which won't be until July. I don't know, I feel like I'll jinx things which sounds crazy. Also, a good amount of my friends don't even know yet. I want to tell them in person, and I'm not able to meet up with some until the end of June. I don't want people to find out via Facebook and I'm afraid someone's going to out me any day now...

 

 

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Re: Have you/will you announce on FB & why/whynot?

  • I got rid of my facebook a few months ago and I haven't missed it once.  No i haven't given up on social media all together (i tumble, tweet and instagram) but it feels nice to just not have any pressure. We're not keeping our pregnancy quiet anymore so i've tweeted a few things but I didn't make a big deal about it.  No huge announcement.
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  • I did. Honestly.. I'm not big in the whole social networking thing being so popular for this type of stuff. It's so impersonal! I feel like the whole world shouldn't know your business and the people who should, shouldn't find it out over facebook!!
    That being said... our families knew (the local one/ones we're close with anyway) and most of our friends already knew. DH's mother came to visit and that's how we told her. Before she got home she had already informed everyone she had ever met since birth.. lol Since none of that side of the family lives here and they're not extremely close to DH but ARE on facebook.. and we figured it was only a matter of time before somebody outed us online if we didn't do it outselves!
    So DH wrote me a nice Mother's Day message and some people got it right away. There are still a ton of people that haven't said anything.. I'm assuming they missed it. Since then I posted one pic of DH holding up a cute onesie we bought.. That's it!  I'm certainly not posting hourly updates or anything. lol
    Once LO comes I'm sure we'll post some pictures and stuff but again.. I'm not big on the whole social network being a way to share your lifes most precious moments and I have no intention of using it that way! (Sorry it's so long! lol)

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  • I have not, and will not. I have had 5 losses and seeing everyone else's announcements was so painful. I wouldn't do it to anyone that may be going through the same thing that I don't know about.
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  • I did but I made sure I told everyone in person or myself that I cared about knowing.
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  • I will be likely this weekend.  I was just waiting till all our immediate family knows before sharing with everyone else.  With extended family and friends scattered all over Canada and the US, it's just easier to use fb to let everyone else know. 

     FWIW, facebook announcements of pgs never really bothered me, except immediately following my loss.  I won't be abnoxious about it, nor will I run a constant play-by-play of my pg from here on out on my newsfeed.

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  • I haven't and I don't have any plans to.  I also had a really hard time with pregnancy announcements after my loss and I don't want to hurt others who may be going through a loss or infertility.  I don't really go on facebook anymore anyway.  I would get rid of it, but I just can't seem to take that plunge.   
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  • I did, although I had already told the important people. I have no known friends that have IF, otherwise I would have told them privately first. I think it is sweet that people are considering other peoples feelings when posting but I just don't see how it is different from posting wedding pics when you have a FB friend who is divorced/divorcing. It was really exciting to come out and I am glad I did! I don't intend to most much more than that about the pregnancy because I think it gets overkill.
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  • BEAUNALBEAUNAL member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    We haeven't made an announcement on FB and I'm not sure I'm going to. I think everyone needs to use FB the way they are most comfortable. Everyone knows there are people that post every.single.thing they do every second of the day and some people just post pictures or updates here and there. Don't let you SIL make you announce anything. It's your news to share when you're ready. The look on people's faces when you tell them in person can not be beat! Plus I know some of my friends would be upset to find out on FB rather than over coffee.
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  • image tiffhiam:
    I did but I made sure I told everyone in person or myself that I cared about knowing.

    This is what I did.

    We wanted to share our amazing news with all our friends and it was the easiest way of doing so. And this way, we can keep everyone informed about how we are doing.

                              

  • zmosszmoss member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its

    We won't be announcing on FB. My husband HATES FB and everything about it and doesn't want anything baby related posted there.

    I get pressure from my family particularly my mother who wants to post it on FB. I think its more about her wanting to brag about being a gma than anything. Still, I feel that if she mentioned it on a feed and I hadn't told someone that I would have rather told in person it wouldn't go well.

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  • Initially I wasn't going to, but I have extended family that I really only communicate with through Facebook.  I refuse to have one of those tickers that updates my facebook each week with how pregnant I am and what the baby is doing. I think those are dumb.
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  • Not planning on it. I'm sure when I post pics later in the summer people will be able to tell, and of course I'll put up pics after the baby is here. But I don't think there's any reason for 360 of my not closest friends to know every detail of my life. The people I see regularly know, family knows, and a couple close friends that live in different cities. Those are the people that are important in my life.
  • We announced on FB.  I should say "I" announced because DH did not do his own announcement.. I just tagged him in mine.  We kept it super simple and I do not plan on posting any updates regarding my pregnancy.

    Initially, I wasn't sure if I was going to announce on FB or not.  As someone who has experienced loss, I know that pregnancy announcements can sting a bit and I really didn't want to be obnoxious about my pregnancy.  Finally, we decided to announce, at 16 weeks, after close family / friends were told in person, and to keep it short & sweet.

    Here are our reasons for announcing..

    1. We're excited!

    2. We both have lots of extended family / old friends, who do not live close by, that we really only communicate with via FB.

    3. We thought it would be weird to suddenly one day, out of the blue, post "here's our kid" photos / announcement before posting the "we're pregnant" announcement.

    4.  I'm not one to post everything I'm doing on FB at all, so naturally I questioned sharing anything personal.  However, many people post about the most trivial events.  We figured a pregnancy warranted an announcement.  Also.. people post about other big life events such as engagements, job promotions, weddings, etc.  Why not post about a pregnancy?

  • I wouldn't say I technically announced.. but we posted pics of LO in her "Big Sis" shirt so people who looked at them figured it out. I've posted a few things about baby and some more people said congrats but I didn't do one dedicated "we'd like to announce baby ***" post.  I'll post pics as I start to show.. I want to be fair to this baby and I did certain weeks of DD when I was preg with her.  both our families live out of town so I mainly post for them to see me.
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  • CTA7CTA7 member

    I did at 12 weeks.  It was just a straight-forward post, nothing cutsie. 

    I certainly don't think you should post it on FB if you don't want to.  But, just as a practical matter, if you have people you really want to tell in person I'd do it sooner rather than later.  One way or another word gets around.

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  • GHBEAGHBEA member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
    We did on Mothers Day because I have a lot of family and friends that I wanted to know with out having to call all of them.  Our parents and siblings we told in person or in a special Mothers Day Card first.
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  • I did last week (15 weeks) for multiple reasons. Our friends and extended family either live out of state or out of the country, so it was easier to tell cousins and some old friends that way. Also, I have recently been back in touch with childhood friends through FB, which is a valuable tool if you and DH are on your own like we are. Plus, I am also excited and wanted to share pics since most of my friends back home are already moms and one of my close friends is on week 30 right now.
  • We have not and most likely will keep it that way.  Both my DH and I have accounts just to stay connected, we don't really post updates or use social media and frankly we are "friends" with people who really aren't our "friends". 
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  • We did after we had already told all close friends and family because I knew someone in my family would out us if we didn't. I don't post much, usually only funny things that happen to me, or funny things I hear. Same with DH. We don't share much about our personal lives. Our announcement was "DH is going to be a DADDY, and we're pretty sure it's mine!" That was it. I was most worried about family outing me on FB before I was out of the first trimester because my progesterone was very low and I was worried something would go wrong.
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  • This has been on my mind too. I originally was thinking of not posting anything at all but then I remembered a few friends who had done that and then all of a sudden there are pictures of a baby- and in a way it is a bit disconcerting. Granted these weren't very close friends but it would have been nice to know they were pregnant.

    So, I think I am going to share the news on FB after our 20 week ultrasound. At that point we will have told all of our close friends and family. We also have friends who are struggling to get pregnant and we have made sure to tell them all ahead of any public announcement.

    I say, to each his own. I am not going to be that girl who posts about each thing she eats for lunch or dinner and I am probably not going to post much about the pregnancy at all- but I don't want to feel like I am hiding it either.  

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  • milescmilesc member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its

    I posted the ultrasound picture and simply put 'BabyS Deux' (with a little disclaimer underneath). My boss immediately posted a status 'Welcoming another baby on the way at _______'. I post a belly pic from time to time, and maybe post TB fruit of the week, but seriously, no more than once every two weeks. My boss herself is dealing with fertility issues, but loves to be kept in the loop as to what is going on with me and how things are growing.

    I keep it simple and am not clogging up anyone's newsfeeds. like I said, and update maybe every 2 weeks

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  • I did only for the fact I have a lot of extended family on there from all over the place so I did it to keep everyone updated so no one felt left out and they heard it from me first
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  • I agree it can be a little strange when out of nowhere someone posts pics of their baby and never said they were pregnant. Two of my friends did that and got a lot of "HUH??? You were pregnant?" comments. But some people don't want to discuss being pregnant, and that's fine too! 
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  • image keiral:

    1. We're excited!

    2. We both have lots of extended family / old friends, who do not live close by, that we really only communicate with via FB.

    3. We thought it would be weird to suddenly one day, out of the blue, post "here's our kid" photos / announcement before posting the "we're pregnant" announcement.

    4.  I'm not one to post everything I'm doing on FB at all, so naturally I questioned sharing anything personal.  However, many people post about the most trivial events.  We figured a pregnancy warranted an announcement.  Also.. people post about other big life events such as engagements, job promotions, weddings, etc.  Why not post about a pregnancy?

    I feel the same way!  Especially the bolded part.  I think if someone ever posts anything on FB, that it would be weird to never say anything about being pregnant and then randomly post a picture of your new baby.  I completely understand that those with IF have a hard time wtih pregnancy announcements but they will also have a hard time with a new baby announcement.  I made sure to tell my friends that have IF about my pregnancy in a personal email so they didn't open FB and see it one day.  I am sure I have friends that have IF that I don't know about, but I am not going to hide my pregnancy in an attempt to protect them.  On the flip side, I put up an announcement, will announce the sex and maybe a few other updates along the way...but I try not to be annoying about it. 

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  • Bear021Bear021 member
    Third Anniversary

    We have not, BUT people do make comments to us on it, so if people are smart they will figure it out.  With our last one, DH announced it and then a week later I miscarried.  I didn't want to Jinx this one.  Plus, it was extemely hurtful to me to see when other posted they were expecting.  Add on to that, my cousins step daughter announced at 4 weeks.....and has had nothing but problems (she's almost Term now) but every day there was and still is something posted about the pregnancy....it's annoying.....but I can't block her because it is SO amusing to read some of the stuff!

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  • I announced on FB at 12 weeks by updating my cover photo to a picture of DH's and my feet with a pair of baby flip flops between us and the caption "Baby K - coming Thanksgiving 2012". I didn't change my status or anything and didn't make a big deal out of the picture but people noticed and commented as they chose to Smile We'd already told everybody in person or over the phone that we wanted to tell personally and it was nice to put it 'out there in the universe' officially. Some people who don't go directly to my profile still don't know and it doesn't bother me -- they'll figure it out eventually and if they don't it's no skin off my nose Smile

     If you're afraid somebody will out you, I think you can set your privacy settings so you have to approve any wall posts or mentions before the rest of the world can see them so maybe you want to look into that until you're ready to be 'out'. 

    Please pardon any typos -- I'm typically bumping from my phone
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  • I wasn't going to but then DH saw a cute announcement photo on my Pintrest board and wanted to do it.  Since he was so excited, I got excited.

    The response we got was so overwhelming and just reminded me how lucky we were to have such a great network of family and friends.  I made sure to tell the important people in person or over the phone before I did it. 

    If you are high risk, then I can definitely understand your hesitation.  For me, once I hit the second trimester I felt like it was okay to put the news out there.  Honestly, just seeing how many people actually cared (whether it was fake enthusiasm or not, they took the time to comment) was really moving and I would recommend it.

  • We did a FB announcement this week.  We waited until our family and most of our friends knew straight from us first though.  So it wasn't a huge deal to announce it on FB then b/c most people knew already.  I just wanted to "officially announce" it there so that I could actually talk about the pregnancy openly if I want... I got tired of hiding it.
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  • ugh people keep bugging me also!! I dont understand why they care if I make a post on it or not!! I have put little things like "the joys of heartburn" that was last night and that was my 1st pg kinda post! Someone did comment and say " I forgot you were even pg" lol so if anyone reads it that dont know well now you do! Other then not sure when or if I will
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  • DH and I announced yesterday.  We have friends that are spread out all over the globe and it would be impossible to contact all of them.  

    I understand that it can be hurtful to see pregnancy announcements on FB for those that have had miscarriages or infertility issues. I'm not going to go overboard with updates, but I would like to think that my friends would be happy for me.  DH and I have been married for almost 6 years and have suffered a loss within the year, so a lot of our friends have been waiting for this announcement. 



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  • We're both weirdly uncomfortable putting it on Facebook. I think part of the reason is that once its out there we can't control who else shares it. My MIL is Notorious for reposting anything we post. My H posts "finished a batch of home brew" and she reposts it with a "so proud of my home brewing son!!!" it's obnoxious. 
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  • We haven't yet.  DH wanted to on day 1, but I'm not ready.  Having experienced 2 MC's, I just don't want to go public with this one, should something go wrong and I need to take it back.  

    Originally I told DH we could post about it after our A/S at 20 weeks, but now I'm thinking after 24 weeks (viability stage).  

    It just doesn't feel right for me yet. However when others post I'm always so happy for them, even when it was right after one of my MC's.  I've come to know more than ever that each baby/pregnancy is nothing short of a miracle. 

    D & R were born at 37w5d.

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  • I haven't and don't plan on it.  I'm just the type to not put my personal life on a social media site (not saying anything is wrong with that)  I just don't feel the need to announce my pregnancy to people I haven't seen in years.  I have a certain aunt that is hounding me to post something or a pic of my bump but she's also that aunt that puts her daily drama problem on facebook for everyone to see. Not my style!
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  • image JulieN0704:
    I have not, and will not. I have had 5 losses and seeing everyone else's announcements was so painful. I wouldn't do it to anyone that may be going through the same thing that I don't know about.

    This exactly. I didn't have any losses but we tried for 19 months to get pregnant and announcements on FB sting when its the one thing in the world you want and can't have. 

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  • I haven't yet, but it has crossed my mind.  I get bugged too.  The news is starting to leak (and I let my friend who had a m/c in February know last week - she's happy!), so I might post a little something soon.  Nothing big.  Just a blurb.

  • We have only told close friends and family. after we find out the sex and have a named picked out I plan on announcing a short and simple one. ex. Josiah Edmund Austin will be born via c-secion November 19, 2012. (just to let our other friends know, so they dont feel left out) I wont be posting evey Dr. appt udates either. I have a friend on there who had a MC and was due 2 days before me. since we found out about her MC and my pregnancy we havn't talked much, so out of respect I am choosing not to mention much about mine. If anyone wants to know they can ask and I will tell, but I dont like rubbing my preg in ppls faces.
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  • I will be 16 weeks in a few days and I have not posted anything on FB.  In addition I asked that anyone I told not put anything on FB and if they were going to tell anyone to be sure they did not put it on FB.  I work as a consultant and have some major meeting coming up and I didn't want it to be an issue at ALL!  I was concerned about someone outing me but so far so good. 
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  • I thought of posting it after my ultrasound in 2 weeks or so. I've told alot of ppl all the close family for sure and think it would be a fine way to share with others that I'm not so close with. I really limit my friends and do not have a ton of FB friends. I do think it would be weird to suddenly post baby pics with out sharing that I'm pg
  • My MIL asked me to scan in our first sono and email it to her.... Later I found it this was because she had posted a picture of her first grandchild on facebook.  So.. we pretty much had to tell then.
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  • jg1011jg1011 member
    250 Answers 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary

    I didn't announce really....but when I was about 13 weeks, someone who knew posted something on my wall about me being pregnant and then it just took off. So I wasn't the announcer, but it was announced.

     I would have announced, but like an earlier poster,  I likely would have waited till around 20 weeks.

    What's done is done.

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