Being a control freak and TTC does not work well... (vent) — The Bump
TTC After a Loss

Being a control freak and TTC does not work well... (vent)

As usual here is my daily vent :) I am a huge control freak. I like the when, where, what, why and how with every situation. Fertility medications are nice because you get some control and know what is going on every step of the way but d*mn if it still is so hard. I failed my femara cycle and the doctor was like okay we will try clomid but just wait a couple weeks and see what happens (like if AF comes or not). I am a horrible person and said screw it and started taking prometrium. Even my GYN did not understand why they wanted me to wait around.. if you have no mature follicles whats the point? Anyways.. I am about to take day 4 of prometrium and it SUCKS!! I hate wondering when AF will come.. 3 days after... 7 days after... AND I am going to see a new fertility doctor next tuesday so I have no clue what they will say to do!!! AND I have to pay $45 bucks to get my f-ing records from my old fertility doctor... WHAT!?! Ugh... this is such a long process. Anyone else a control freak and trying to deal with TTC too?

Re: Being a control freak and TTC does not work well... (vent)

  • Sort of... I am just used to being able to work hard for what I want so that I can get it. This... not so much. I am doing everything in my power to get pregnant and carry a healthy baby but I just can't seem to. I'm not used to being so out of control of what I am working towards and it sucks.
    m/c 7/17/10
    Dx: MFI- 3% morph
    IUIs: Gonal-F + Ovidrel + b2b IUI= BFNs
    IVF with ICSI= BFP! EDD 11/25/11
    3/18- Beta #1 452! 3/20- Beta #2 1,026!! 3/27- First u/s- TWINS!
    Our twin boys arrived at 36w5d due to IUGR and a growth discordance

    FET: Medicated FET moved up to 5/23 due to ovulation
    Transferred a 6BB hatched blastocyst- genetically normal female embryo
    BFP! 5/28- 5dp6dt      
    6/1 Beta #1- 223! 6/3 Beta #2- 567!

    image

    Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
  • Ooooh Ooooh meeee meeeee :::raises hand:::

    When I was taking my Provera, it was absolutely killing me not knowing when AF would finally come - if she would ever come. She took a little longer than I had heard most people experience, which of course made me freak out even more. Luckily she did finally show her nasty face...

    And now I am onto even more waiting - last Clomid does is CD7 Saturday and then the waiting game continues. My OB said I would hopefully O anytime from 5-10 days after the last dose, but of course it could be even later. Sigh.

    And then finally of course I'll have the lovely 2WW - ugh!

    Will the waiting never end?!?!?!

    * PAL/PgAL Bumpie & NBC-Twi Nestie * image Bloggity Blog BFP #1 in 2001 ? natural m/c @ 9w4d ? TTC our first since 2009 ? BFP #2 on 8/25/2010 ? natural M/C @ 7w6d on 9/25/2010 Clomid cycle #1 @ 50mg = BFP #3 on 1/1/11 ~ EDD 9/14/2011!!! Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • I'm sorry Kris - I am a control freak too and it sucks, there is so much unknown in this whole process and there is absolutely NO controlling anything, it drives me nuts. I haven't come up with a way to handle it all but just wanted to send you some *HUGS* - nothing about this process doesn't suck.
    Easter 2010 BFP #1: EDD 12/7/10
    Natural m/c 4/17/10 at 6wk 5days.


    10/6/10 BFP #2: EDD 6/14/11
    Mtx shot 10/15 (5w3d) for cervical ectopic pregnancy


    5/11/11 BFP #3 3rd times the charm!!!
    Beautiful baby boy born 1/10/12 7lb 14oz 21 inches


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  • Yup, total control freak here!  Oh, and I am also a perfectionist who has never failed at anything I've ever seriously attempted... except making a healthy baby.  It is SO infuriating to not be able to control this process!  I totally feel your pain.

     I hope you get AF soon so you can move forward with the Clomid cycle!  **throws buckets of AF dust at krisnogard**

    TTC since January 2010
    BFP 5/9/10. U/S - no heartbeat 6/2/10 (7 weeks). Induced miscarriage 6/7/10.
    Chemical pregnancies 12/2/10, 1/3/11, and 2/7/11.
    dx: RPL due to poor quality uterine lining; begin progesterone January 2011
    BFP 3/10/11. EDD 11/19/11. E arrived 11/15/11!

    Loss Blog | Life Blog

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • Yep, control freak here.  I think that's kind of required here on ttcal because of all the stuff we put ourselves through.  It's freakin crazy that they're charging you for your records.  Will they charge you even if your new Dr. requests them or only if you pick them up?
  • *hugs*  I don't have any advice, but I hope everything turns out for you.
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    [img]http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ticker/31496b/ttc.png[/img]
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  • I asked if I can pick them up and they said the same fee!!! So they either send them or I pick them up for 45 bucks... so lame.
  • I hear you!  I'm totally a control freak too.  I was actually just thinking about this today when I realized that I was counting down the days until I got AG, then counting down the days until I was done with Clomid, then o'ing, and now testing!!  I was already ttrying to figure out the earliest day I can test and I'm only 4 DPO.  Grrr...hang in there!
    TTC Since 2/09... BFP 12/26/09 - Missed miscarriage (6 weeks), D&C 1/28/10, BFP 4/23/10 - Miscarriage (18 wks 4 days) due to Turner's Syndrome, Delivered Lyla Ann on 7/29/10, BFP 12/10/10 - Natural miscarriage (5 weeks 6 days) 12/23/10, BFP 2/2/11 - EDD: 10/15/11 - Stick baby stick!!
  • Another control freak here... I hate the lack of control. I am so miserably type A. I like planning everything out and then working really hard for the outcomes I want. I HATE feeling like a failure, which is certainly the way my miscarriage has made me feel. Ick... and now the little song my mom used to sing to me when I was little is stuck in my head. I hated it then and I still do now...

     "Have patience, have patience, don't be in such a hurray! When you get inpatient, you only start to worry. Remember, remember, that God is patient too, and think of all the times when others have to wait on you..."

    So true, but pure torture.

     

    BFP#1 9/14/10 (EDD 5/21/11); no fetal pole 6w6d, 7w4d, d&c 10/8
    BFP#2 3/16/11, beta 138; 4/12 Baby/HB DS born 9/10/11 at 29w4d due to partial abruption and PTL
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    BFP#3 8/19/13 Another boy! 17P, modified bedrest and Nifedipine helped us have a termie! DS2 born 4/19/14 at 38w5d.
    image
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