Vent: I am beginning to hate "milestones".

sharrow

When DS rolled over, I didn't feel a lot of joy, just relief.

I felt the same way about sitting up, and probably will feel the same about walking and talking.

We me with DS's neurologist last week, and he asked if DS was talking yet.  I said he babbles, but doesn't really say "mama" or "dada" or anything.  The Dr. was like, "hmmmmm".  And I thought, "Geez, one more thing to worry about, and isn't it a little early anyway?"

Ugh, just a vent. I know this is stupid, and there are people on this board dealing with a lot more than me but I have no outlet right now and just needed to get this off my chest. 

Crazycrustacean

I hate the hmmmmmmmm

cooker71

I can relate. Vent away, it's tough sometimes.

soontobeahigh

Vent! Thats what we are here for. Im def. not taking notes on who has it worse, thank goodness this board is not like that. I know how you are feeling, so you aren't alone.

Assembly_Reqd

Milestones are like little golden nuggets of yumminess for SN mommies. You live off the high for way longer than you should. And when they are far between, you feel like a starving man until another nugget is tossed your way.

jptimestwo

I go through waves of this emotion.  Most recently I went through, "why can't you just leave my baby alone" vent after a therapy session.  It gets so overwhelming to me that people have to come into my house to help my son do the things he should be doing on his own.   I just want to have an appointment where the doc/therapist says, "yep, everything is great...see you in a few months!"  Instead we get, "ok, so now you have to work on/watch for this, that, and the other thing, plus go see these specialists, and test for these things...."

 It's just too much sometimes.  And yes, I know we have it better than a lot of other parents, but when I get frustrated, all I can think of is us and our son, and how his disability is affecting our lives.

Sorry.....your vent made me want to vent......I kind of feel better!

Florak8

It feels so lonely sometimes and coming here makes me feel so much better. We hate the "M" word, and we hate hearing about how all our friends' kids are knocking them out of the park, to be honest. It gets old.

By the way, our neurologist refuses to acknowledge DS's adjusted age (he was 5 weeks early). Our physiatrist told us yesterday that, if DS had not had a flurry of seizures, he probably would only be in PT, OT and a helmet, and people would leave us alone. But because of the seizures everyone is "excited" to find a diagnosis, so they send us to specialist on top of specialist.

Another doctor told us that, of all doctors, neurologists have the worst bed side manner. I would agree with that.

I hate the way I dwell on every "hmmm" and forget every "that's good". UGH! 

Hugs to each of you. 

WheelerToBe

I hate them also.  I have a 4yr old that is on the level of a 2 1/2 yr old.  So it sometimes makes me want to cry when they say how many words a child should say before they are 2.

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sharrow

It is interesting that several of you find the neurologists be the ones with the least empathy.  I think I am beginning to see this as well.

I almost unfriended a couple of the Mom's on FB that I know from a Mommy-and-Me class I took when DS was a few months old.  I just didn't want to hear sometimes how their DC are progressing.

Thanks for letting me vent.  I feel a bit better today.

 

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Assembly_Reqd

InternetExplorer:

Somedays you gotta drive the bitter bus, and come here and we'll all buy tickets to ride.

LOL!

Love me some bitter bus travel! We can do puppies and rainbows next week....

Assembly_Reqd

InternetExplorer:

Somedays you gotta drive the bitter bus, and come here and we'll all buy tickets to ride.

LOL!

Love me some bitter bus travel! We can do puppies and rainbows next week....

Falioley

Yup, it sucks! Especially when you get that reaction from doctors. Ugh. The cool thing though is that you can celebrate many other "little" things as milestones. I remember one time when Dean was able to pick his head off the floor while on his belly AND turn to the side to look at someone. I had as much pride as I did about when my first son learned to walk!! I started screaming so loudly that I scared Dean and he flopped back on his belly. LOL Anyway, there are precious little moments to celebrate too. No one can steal those from you  

Amy'n'Justin11/7

Hello there, I am new to the bump boards and currently work as a speech therapist in EI and wanted to just offer some support. I often see families faced with similar frustration and anger when their child doesn't meet the special "milestone". I always find it beneficial to tell the family a couple things. 1) Do not freak out about these milestones, they are very general and there are MANY children that don't meet them. 2) Don't fall victim to comparing your child to someone elses because it will only lead to resentment, MANY of my families discuss this frustration with me. 3.) Although I feel like you're neurologist is kind of jumping the gun on your son's speech, I also appreciate a doctor that is aware of the milestones. Majority of the time I see kids at 2 1/2 years old with only six months in the program before aging out and that's typically due to the doctor saying "oh he's a boy, he will catch on'. So, while I don't feel doctors should stick 100% to the milestones it is nice having a doctor looking at these areas at a young age. At this point I would just recommend enjoying your son, expose him to as many language opportunities as possible and TALK TALK TALK to him (even if you feel obnoxious). Also, since this is the summer it's the perfect time to go on "nature walks" where you can look at different things outside (trees, flowers, grass, rocks, etc.). Hope this helps a little bit and I apologize for it being so long, you just sound so much like many of my families.

gjkhjr01

Thank you for posting this. My 13 month old is "Developmentally Delayed" and I get a little shy with other moms and their 'normal' kids. My DD is amazing whether she walks now or later...much later. I hate having my baby labeled.