Our kids will have godparents... but more for our sake than religion. DH and I both grew up with born-again Christian mothers... but I think that actually made us look at religion with a very objective view (me more than him). We are giving our children godparents so they have soemone special in their lives that is all theirs. We are not choosing family because they obviously already have an important place in their lives. We will most likely choose our best friends... and it will almost be like we're bringing them into the family. I want them to have a bond with someone just in case they ever think they can't come to us about something. However, our kids will not go to them if something happens to us. We've already discussed that the kids will go to my mother... and we'll figure out a back-up plan if for some reason my mother isn't able to take on that responsibility. They are NOT going to my sisters because all of us are so different and I know they won't raise them with my wishes in mind.
I am kind of torn about godparents! My boyfriend was raised Catholic and comes from a large Spanish family on one side and large Irish family on the other side, so naturally everyone has godparents in his family. However, neither of us are particularly religious. Anyway, he wants to have his best friend be the baby's godfather. Does this mean his best friend's wife would be the godmother or do I pick someone? What is the role exactly, especially if it is not in a religious sense?
Tiger,
You absolutely do not have to choose his wife to be the godmother. I believe that you should choose the 2 people to be the godparents... no matter if they know each other or not. Also, it doesn't have to be a very religous thing. DH and I are not catholic but we like the idea of bringing in someone to have a special relationship with each kid. They won't have to share this person either when we end up having more than one kid. So it's just an objective person in their life who will be there for them.
I may be coming in a little late on this topic, but this has been a heated discussion throughout my short pregnancy. All of my neices and nephews have godparents within the family (aunts and uncles, grandparents etc.) but none of them actually know the true meaning of a godparent. It changes with each persons view but my husbands and I's view of a godparent is as such:
An individual who will show the child the correct path of morals and values and nurture a good relationship between the child and God. The individual must also be the stand-in for any issue that may arise that the child is not comfortable discussing with their parents.
A natural born friend and role-model is what we want for our children. Unfortunately, I haven't found a woman in my life who meets these credentials, so Baby Carignan will only have a Godfather. I've fought with his side of the family because I'm not going to just hand off the right of being a Godmother to a randomly chosen female unless I think they can uphold the responsibilities.
No, the purpose of godparents is to assist parents in bringing children up in the church. Nobody takes it seriously, any more, so why bother?
Wow. That's not jaded at all.
That might be your definition of godparents, but it varies a bit from church to church. Thanks for speaking on behalf of the entire world when you say that nobody takes it seriously anymore. I'm sorry that is the case in your particular situation. Fortunately, it is not the case in mine.
Our son will have godparents. ?I was baptized Catholic but raised Lutheran and my brother and sister and I all have godparents. ?I think it is important for him to have a spiritual touchstone. ?
Can I ask a question? Why are people still replying to this post?
Don't get me wrong--it was a great question and a good discussion--but are people really reading back into posts that are a month old and replying?
<--confused.
MSC - I was wondering this last week. And then I noticed on the Bump homepage that this question was in the "Hot Topics" section. So I think people see it and then click and reply to it from there.
DD's Food Allergies: Peanuts and Rice, Outgrown Dairy!
8/09 Dx PCOS & Hashimoto's BFP #2 12/13/11. Missed M/C at 11w5d, measured 8w6d. D&C 2/1/12 Never in my arms, but always in my heart.
Can I ask a question? Why are people still replying to this post?
Don't get me wrong--it was a great question and a good discussion--but are people really reading back into posts that are a month old and replying?
<--confused.
MSC - I was wondering this last week. And then I noticed on the Bump homepage that this question was in the "Hot Topics" section. So I think people see it and then click and reply to it from there.
Can I ask a question? Why are people still replying to this post?
Don't get me wrong--it was a great question and a good discussion--but are people really reading back into posts that are a month old and replying?
<--confused.
MSC - I was wondering this last week. And then I noticed on the Bump homepage that this question was in the "Hot Topics" section. So I think people see it and then click and reply to it from there.
Yes, I believe that this is the root of the problem.
Married 06/08 started TTC 08/08
BFP 9/08 Natural m/c (8w3d)
BFP 06/09 Natural m.c (5w3d)
BFP 9/09 -- Dec. 29th: Juliet Rose born at 20 wks. Love you forever.
TTC Break 1/10-8/14.
Results of physical testing = Normal
Genetic testing = Balanced translocation
IVF #1 with PGD Nov 2014 = BFN
IVF #2 with PGD Start stimming 1/6, ER scheduled 1/16, ET scheduled 1/21
Our kids will have godparents. Hubby and I have a goddaughter and we absolutely love being able to call her our goddaughter. We are not catholic and don't look at it as a religious thing.
My husband and I actually have two different sets of couples that we want as "Godparents" or "legal guardians" if something were to happen to us.
We thought it would be important for us to pick who I children would go to if something were to happen to both of us. Neither of the couples are family though. That is the third couple we have lined up.
I grew up methodist, and had Godparents. My husband had none, but he was the one to bring it up actually. Its more of a safety net for your brain, so you know your child is in safe hands if you can't be there for them.
If the term "godparents" is what bothers him, call it "legal guardian".
Funny you ask this today because last night my SIL forgave me for not including them in whether or not we are TTC and just asked if she and her hubs could be Godparents when the blessed event happen. I explained this to her and she is not talking to me again
I am so sorry to hear that! I had the same situation with my SIL. I truly believe you and your DH should choose who the Godparents should be. No one should ask you if they can be the Godparents. It should be an honor they recieve.
Yep. I'm Catholic (Portuguese) and FI is Catholic (Mexican) too. We both have godparents and so does everyone else in our families. I think it's a great tradition. One of the ideas behind it is that if something happens to you or DH there will be another family there to take care of your child. I don't see how DH could possibly object to that! (Maybe explain that to him and he'll stop being such an a******!) Also, if your kids are going to be baptized/confirmed/married in the Catholic Church godparents are usually involved in the ceremonies.
Also, it definitely doesn't have to be about religion. It's really mostly about the fact that your child/ren will have someone to watch over them and be involved in some of the most important moments in their life. Atheist, Catholic, Buddhist WHATEVER, it's still a nice gesture and support system for the kid. (I get that you wouldn't necessarily want to call it a GODparent if you were atheist, but you know.)
We most certainly will. I'm not Catholic. I'm Anglican. But I plan on baptizing my future children in the church even though my husband and I don't have a home church. The idea of godparents isn't stupid; it's a beautiful tradition that stems from a belief that a child should be surrounded by love. Other reasons for having godparents are practical. I always knew growing up that godparents are supposed to be there for the children when the birth parents cannot be for whatever reason. I'm not close with my godparents, but I know that it's meant a lot to me in my life to know that they're there.
I'm in the same boat you are. I am Hispanic and Christian (not catholic) and had God Parents. They are a HUGE part of my life, still. I myself am a God Mother now, and wouldn't trade that job for the world.
My hubby never had that growing up, and so doesn't really get it's importance. So I explained to him that it was something that I didn't need him to understand. I just needed his support. Also, I told him that God Parents are what he would consider "Guardians" - which is something he can relate to. So I told him we needed to pick people that would be involved in our children's lives so that there is extra support for the kids' upbringing, but also so there is familiarity with other adults if anything ever happened to us. He understood that and said that was fine. We will have our children baptized and God Parents will be named, and those same God Parents will be named legal guardians. When I put it like that, he was more supportive, and more willing to help choose the people involved. It's just the name that scares people sometimes.
My boyfriend and I talk about the idea of godparents often, and thankfully we both agree. While our children may not have people referred to as "godparents," we are designating two of our friends ( a married couple) to care for them in case anything were to happen to us.
I'm pacific islander & having godparents is a MUST for us. The godparent's role is to guide the child religiously and basically act as a backup parent when needed or asked to.
I am Catholic and my husband is not. We decided very early before we were even married that our kids were going to be baptized and thus have Godparents. He may not understand what that means to me but he knows it is important to me and agreed to do it for me and our baby. I agree choose them yourself if he wants nothing to do with it then it is his loss! You stay strong!!!!!
We will choose Godparents for our children. I was not raised Luthern and I believe it is a tradition that has history in many Christian sects. To me, Gadparents are there to help raise my children with the values and beliefs my husband and I keep. No matter the religion, I think it is a great tradition.
yup we have already chosen a God-Mother. We chose her because if anything should happen to us (god forbid) then she should be the person to take care of our child.
We are not Catholic, but I have Godparents. My brother and I have the same Godmother but different Godfathers since my dad has 3 brothers. I am planning on having Godparents for my children but it's not something that we have talked a lot about yet. I'm not sure who to ask other than I know my best friend would be one in a heart beat and I also think that my husbands best friend would love the honor of being on too. I think that asking people to be Godparents is just title that makes them feel a an extra special bond towards your child.
We're backwards- my DH is Hispanic (Mexican) and I'm white. We were both raised Catholic and both have Godparents. However, although neither one of us is Catholic anymore (we're non-denominational Christian) I had still assumed that we would chose Godparents for our son. We talked about it and have decided that there really isn't a point. We aren't going to baptize our son since biblically speaking baptism is done when a person has consciously decided to truly accept Christ as their Lord & Savior in order accept the Holy Spirit and gain salvation. Since children are innocent in the eyes of God what is the point of having them baptized as babies? They are saved anyhow. It's just another "thing" the Catholic church says you need to do in order to be saved and, biblically speaking, it's not true. I can, however, see the secular idea behind parents wanting Godparents for their children- sentimentally speaking. But to coin it "Godparents" just seems a little off to me.
We will not have godparents, but we will have legal guardians. I used to think they were one in the same, but they are not.
Naming someone as your child's godparent does NOT guarantee that they will be the guardian of the child in the case of your untimely death.
So if you are thinking of that reasoning for choosing your child's godparent, please also look into getting legal papers drawn that outline your child's legal guardianship (and possibly the financial guardian if you want that to be a different person).
This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends.
Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue
singing it forever just because ...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends.
Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue
singing it forever just because ...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends.
Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue
singing it forever just because ....
This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends.
Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue
singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends.
Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue
singing it forever just because ...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends.
Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue
singing it forever just because ...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends.
Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue
singing it forever just because .....
This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends.
Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue
singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends.
Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue
singing it forever just because ...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends.
Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue
singing it forever just because ...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends.
Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue
singing it forever just because .....
We will not have godparents, but we will have legal guardians. I used to think they were one in the same, but they are not.
I did too.
Then I turned 10.
Dumbass. How far back did you have to dig to unearth this?
This question is posted on The Bump homepage - So I didn't dig at all.
I figured I'd enlighten some folks because there seems to be quite a bit of misunderstanding on this thread.
Thanks for the compliment tho.
Did you seriously read all 120 posts? Or add anything new that hadn't been said 37 times? Or think anyone is going to go back and read your contribution, since this post was created two months ago?
I'm going to have this very dilemma. I'm a practicing Catholic and MH has never associated or baptized himself into any particular religion. He is completely fine with our future children being baptized and raised as Catholics. So naturally, I want and need godparents for my children to make that happen. However, not a whole lot of ppl I know or he knows go to church, so why would I ask them to be godparents, when their role is to assist in religious upbringing? It doesn't make sense to me.
Wohoo now I can C&P my answer for the next 85 times this question is asked.
my DH is catholic I am not. but we will have god parents and basicly for the sole purpose of having someone close to fall back on if the need a rises (babysitting and running away for the day type stuff). Not for the reason of if we pass they get the kids. if anything should happen the kids will say with our parents or close family thats what wills are for. .....
so basicly explain god parents are our back up parents. like a fail safe if the shoot doesnt open.....
Re: Will your kids have godparents?
Our kids will have godparents... but more for our sake than religion. DH and I both grew up with born-again Christian mothers... but I think that actually made us look at religion with a very objective view (me more than him). We are giving our children godparents so they have soemone special in their lives that is all theirs. We are not choosing family because they obviously already have an important place in their lives. We will most likely choose our best friends... and it will almost be like we're bringing them into the family. I want them to have a bond with someone just in case they ever think they can't come to us about something. However, our kids will not go to them if something happens to us. We've already discussed that the kids will go to my mother... and we'll figure out a back-up plan if for some reason my mother isn't able to take on that responsibility. They are NOT going to my sisters because all of us are so different and I know they won't raise them with my wishes in mind.
Tiger,
You absolutely do not have to choose his wife to be the godmother. I believe that you should choose the 2 people to be the godparents... no matter if they know each other or not. Also, it doesn't have to be a very religous thing. DH and I are not catholic but we like the idea of bringing in someone to have a special relationship with each kid. They won't have to share this person either when we end up having more than one kid. So it's just an objective person in their life who will be there for them.
I may be coming in a little late on this topic, but this has been a heated discussion throughout my short pregnancy. All of my neices and nephews have godparents within the family (aunts and uncles, grandparents etc.) but none of them actually know the true meaning of a godparent. It changes with each persons view but my husbands and I's view of a godparent is as such:
An individual who will show the child the correct path of morals and values and nurture a good relationship between the child and God. The individual must also be the stand-in for any issue that may arise that the child is not comfortable discussing with their parents.
A natural born friend and role-model is what we want for our children. Unfortunately, I haven't found a woman in my life who meets these credentials, so Baby Carignan will only have a Godfather. I've fought with his side of the family because I'm not going to just hand off the right of being a Godmother to a randomly chosen female unless I think they can uphold the responsibilities.
By the way, we are Catholic.
Wow. That's not jaded at all.
That might be your definition of godparents, but it varies a bit from church to church. Thanks for speaking on behalf of the entire world when you say that nobody takes it seriously anymore. I'm sorry that is the case in your particular situation. Fortunately, it is not the case in mine.
Can I ask a question? Why are people still replying to this post?
Don't get me wrong--it was a great question and a good discussion--but are people really reading back into posts that are a month old and replying?
<--confused.
MSC - I was wondering this last week. And then I noticed on the Bump homepage that this question was in the "Hot Topics" section. So I think people see it and then click and reply to it from there.
DD's Food Allergies: Peanuts and Rice, Outgrown Dairy!
8/09 Dx PCOS & Hashimoto's
BFP #2 12/13/11. Missed M/C at 11w5d, measured 8w6d. D&C 2/1/12
Never in my arms, but always in my heart.
Yes, I believe that this is the root of the problem.
My husband and I actually have two different sets of couples that we want as "Godparents" or "legal guardians" if something were to happen to us.
We thought it would be important for us to pick who I children would go to if something were to happen to both of us. Neither of the couples are family though. That is the third couple we have lined up.
I grew up methodist, and had Godparents. My husband had none, but he was the one to bring it up actually. Its more of a safety net for your brain, so you know your child is in safe hands if you can't be there for them.
If the term "godparents" is what bothers him, call it "legal guardian".
I am so sorry to hear that! I had the same situation with my SIL. I truly believe you and your DH should choose who the Godparents should be. No one should ask you if they can be the Godparents. It should be an honor they recieve.
Yep. I'm Catholic (Portuguese) and FI is Catholic (Mexican) too. We both have godparents and so does everyone else in our families. I think it's a great tradition. One of the ideas behind it is that if something happens to you or DH there will be another family there to take care of your child. I don't see how DH could possibly object to that! (Maybe explain that to him and he'll stop being such an a******!) Also, if your kids are going to be baptized/confirmed/married in the Catholic Church godparents are usually involved in the ceremonies.
Also, it definitely doesn't have to be about religion. It's really mostly about the fact that your child/ren will have someone to watch over them and be involved in some of the most important moments in their life. Atheist, Catholic, Buddhist WHATEVER, it's still a nice gesture and support system for the kid. (I get that you wouldn't necessarily want to call it a GODparent if you were atheist, but you know.)
I'm in the same boat you are. I am Hispanic and Christian (not catholic) and had God Parents. They are a HUGE part of my life, still. I myself am a God Mother now, and wouldn't trade that job for the world.
My hubby never had that growing up, and so doesn't really get it's importance. So I explained to him that it was something that I didn't need him to understand. I just needed his support. Also, I told him that God Parents are what he would consider "Guardians" - which is something he can relate to. So I told him we needed to pick people that would be involved in our children's lives so that there is extra support for the kids' upbringing, but also so there is familiarity with other adults if anything ever happened to us. He understood that and said that was fine. We will have our children baptized and God Parents will be named, and those same God Parents will be named legal guardians. When I put it like that, he was more supportive, and more willing to help choose the people involved. It's just the name that scares people sometimes.
Good luck with the process. I hope it works out.
I am Catholic and my husband is not. We decided very early before we were even married that our kids were going to be baptized and thus have Godparents. He may not understand what that means to me but he knows it is important to me and agreed to do it for me and our baby. I agree choose them yourself if he wants nothing to do with it then it is his loss! You stay strong!!!!!
Good Luck!
*bump*
biitch!
Was this an early Christmas gift for MSC?
::giggles::
We're backwards- my DH is Hispanic (Mexican) and I'm white. We were both raised Catholic and both have Godparents. However, although neither one of us is Catholic anymore (we're non-denominational Christian) I had still assumed that we would chose Godparents for our son. We talked about it and have decided that there really isn't a point. We aren't going to baptize our son since biblically speaking baptism is done when a person has consciously decided to truly accept Christ as their Lord & Savior in order accept the Holy Spirit and gain salvation. Since children are innocent in the eyes of God what is the point of having them baptized as babies? They are saved anyhow. It's just another "thing" the Catholic church says you need to do in order to be saved and, biblically speaking, it's not true. I can, however, see the secular idea behind parents wanting Godparents for their children- sentimentally speaking. But to coin it "Godparents" just seems a little off to me.
MEYCITA!! GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE AND DELETE THIS POST!!!!!
<--can't.take.it.anymore!
We will not have godparents, but we will have legal guardians. I used to think they were one in the same, but they are not.
Naming someone as your child's godparent does NOT guarantee that they will be the guardian of the child in the case of your untimely death.
So if you are thinking of that reasoning for choosing your child's godparent, please also look into getting legal papers drawn that outline your child's legal guardianship (and possibly the financial guardian if you want that to be a different person).
::Pulling a Kdodge and sings::
This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue singing it forever just because ...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue singing it forever just because ...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue singing it forever just because ....
This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue singing it forever just because ...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue singing it forever just because ...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue singing it forever just because .....
This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue singing it forever just because ...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue singing it forever just because ...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and we'll continue singing it forever just because .....
LOL at Wordsy splashing around in the post.
Too funny.
This question is posted on The Bump homepage - So I didn't dig at all.
I figured I'd enlighten some folks because there seems to be quite a bit of misunderstanding on this thread.
Thanks for the compliment tho.
Did you seriously read all 120 posts? Or add anything new that hadn't been said 37 times? Or think anyone is going to go back and read your contribution, since this post was created two months ago?
Good lord almighty.
O well might as throw my .02 in:
I'm going to have this very dilemma. I'm a practicing Catholic and MH has never associated or baptized himself into any particular religion. He is completely fine with our future children being baptized and raised as Catholics. So naturally, I want and need godparents for my children to make that happen. However, not a whole lot of ppl I know or he knows go to church, so why would I ask them to be godparents, when their role is to assist in religious upbringing? It doesn't make sense to me.
Wohoo now I can C&P my answer for the next 85 times this question is asked.
my DH is catholic I am not. but we will have god parents and basicly for the sole purpose of having someone close to fall back on if the need a rises (babysitting and running away for the day type stuff). Not for the reason of if we pass they get the kids. if anything should happen the kids will say with our parents or close family thats what wills are for. .....
so basicly explain god parents are our back up parents. like a fail safe if the shoot doesnt open.....