Guess who's getting divorced?

MandC17

I'm so sorry. From the sound of it, you guys may be better off without him. I hope things get better for you.

I remember your posts about his drug use and since you hadn't mentioned it in awhile I thought things had probably improved for you guys. I'm so sorry that things got bad again.

MrsTotty

AudreyGolightly:

MrsTotty:

AudreyGolightly:

All of our banking accounts have always been seperate. The only thing we're joint on is our mortgage and I know I'm going to lose the house anyway. I can't stay there without his income. My truck s in his and his Mom's name, his truck is in my name and I know he'll want to swap titles because he love his truck. The hardest part is going to be moving. I don't have any family/friends here, all of my family is in TX. Unfortunately I dedicated all of my off time to him and our house and DS that I never made any friends. The biggest decisioin is going to have to be do I decide to stay here (MD) and keep my job and keep DS in daycare w/ MIL or do I just pack up and go back to TX without a job or daycare but be close to my family.

I would go back to family.  Hands down.  Where in TX are they?

Lytle (right outside of San Antonio).

My family is in SA.  Love it.  The job market is also pretty strong down there right now (my mom is always trying to convince us to move closer to them, lol). 

brandonsfuturewife07

wow.  was this a long time coming or really sudden?

i am so very sorry, AGL

Sam78

You are incorrect in thinking you have no one nearby to help you - the bumpies that have been to the gtgs and met you would be happy to help I'm sure.  I know that if I were closer, I'd be first in line and I only met you once!

I agree with pp that you're better off without him as is your son no matter how much pain you are in right now.

ali2005jason

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I would definitely move back to your family. The will be your strongest support system. And as for your DS, he will not understand what is going on now but down the road he will thank you for removing him from this situation. He will be better off IMO. I am a child of divorce and I am happy now for the way things turned out but of course I didn't understand it when I was little. Good luck and hang in there.

eliotsmuse

I am so, so sorry that you are dealing with all of this heartbreak.  I know from experience that even if someone has a million issues, if you still have feelings for them, it is heart wrenching to let go.  Of course, you need to get out of this relationship - for yourself AND for Nicholas. 

I agree with pps that you should go back to TX to be with family - do not do this alone.  It will be hard enough even with the support of your family.  And do not blame yourself right now - in the first place, hindsight is ALWAYS 20-20 and secondly, we all have made mistakes and all we do is learn from them and move on.  Time DOES heal, as cliche as it sounds, and again, I speak from experience. 

((hugs))

tmp-354536812503300

Thanks to everybody. I know Nicholas & I will be better off without him because he's not going to change. I've known that for sometime but I guess I didn't want to accept that it's not going to get better. It hurts to think that he doesn't love us enough to do whatever it takes to keep his family together. I'm also dreading the embarrassment of letting everybody know that this failed. I know I didn't fail but the dream failed and he failed. My family loves him because they don't know and while they'll support me, I don't know that I can face them. I hate that my dreams for Nicholas' upbringing are going to have to change. He has a beautiful home in a great area to grow up in with great schools. I have a good job that I've been at for almost 10 years. All of that is going to have to change and I didn't do anything wrong. WTF do Nicholas and I have to suffer?

oceanlover

Re: you don't want to put your boy through it.

he is (probably) better off, and especially being so young - he will adapt more easily to the idea of his parents living apart.

GOOD LUCK. keep yourself safe!

 

murphyec

He announced this to you at WORK?  What an ass.

katherinemichel

MrsTotty:

AudreyGolightly:

All of our banking accounts have always been seperate. The only thing we're joint on is our mortgage and I know I'm going to lose the house anyway. I can't stay there without his income. My truck s in his and his Mom's name, his truck is in my name and I know he'll want to swap titles because he love his truck. The hardest part is going to be moving. I don't have any family/friends here, all of my family is in TX. Unfortunately I dedicated all of my off time to him and our house and DS that I never made any friends. The biggest decisioin is going to have to be do I decide to stay here (MD) and keep my job and keep DS in daycare w/ MIL or do I just pack up and go back to TX without a job or daycare but be close to my family.

I would go back to family.  Hands down.  Where in TX are they?

This.

And I'm so sorry about all this.

Sam78

Be careful about taking your son across state lines, it could get you into trouble later on in court.

disbride061103

I'm so sorry.

CFO

I'm so sorry that you're going through so much right now.  It sounds like your DH (not meaning "dear" in this context) is doing you a favor.  Get out while you both can, and while DS has very little memory of his dad.  Sounds like its better that way.  Move back to TX and find a new job, surrounded by those that love and protect you.  Don't look back.  You're doing what's best, even though it must be sooooo hard.  {{hugs}}

Daisy77

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this:(  As hard as it seems, you and your son will get through this just fine.  In the long run your son will be so much better off...kids aren't dumb.  Ex and I split when DD#1 was almost 6 and she knew something was wrong.  Frankly, we never should have married...red flags e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e  Nothing like what you are going through, but it sucked nonetheless.

It was a tough transition, I lost a lot of "friends", went to my own income, and had to explain to so many what happened because NO one had a clue.  It sucked, but it was SO MUCH better.  No more "fixing" things.  No more of his excuses.  No more of his sh*t.  If it wasn't for DD#1, the time with him would have been a complete waste!

It's going to suck for a while, but you will get through it.  You are better off.   Your son is better off.      

ibfloridagirl

i am so so sorry.  i know that there were issues from previous posts, sometimes you just need to vent and i totally understand that; feel free to email anytime ibfloridagirl at yahoo dot com  ::hugs::

102503Natalie

Ugh, my heart is seriously breaking for you and your DS.  I have chills and have had chills while reading this entire post.  It honestly sounds like this has been a long time coming, and since he's obviously unwilling to change, there's not much more you can do to keep things together. 

Even though it may not seem like it now, in the long run you will be better off (even though I hate saying that b/c it's such a cliche in times like this).  Given your history with him, it's obvious that nothing, not even rock bottom, can break him of his addictions.  I just hope that one day he comes to the realization that he's lost so much in life and then tries to clean up his act mainly for your son's sake. 

As far as moving back home, if you have a close relationship with your family, I think that would be the best option at this point.  I can't imagine going through anything this heavy w/o the love and support of my family.  They are my glue.  You can pick up your life back in Texas, douche-husband-free, and start living a life that YOU want for you and your precious son.

Please let us know if there is anything that we can do to help you through this transition.  Nesties are great for that!

LuckyH

I'm so sorry Audrey.  I had no idea you were having problems.

Please know that you did not fail.  He failed.  You're in a really bad situation, but are about to get out of it.  Nicholas will be better off this way too.  I know it's not what you had in mind for him and it is hard to see right now.  If I were you, I'd make long term plans to move back to your family.  They can be the support you need.

I'll put you and Nicholas in my prayers.  Hang in there!

MegGary

I'm so sorry. Even though this is for the best it's still hard. Hang in there girl. you've got us to back you whenever you need it. Take care of "YOU".

Buckets of Moonbeams

I'm sorry.

mikey&amie

I'm so, so sorry.  I don't have any advice other than what you have already gotten.  It sounds like you will be better off once you get through this.  Hang in there.

femmeftle9

Sam78:

You are incorrect in thinking you have no one nearby to help you - the bumpies that have been to the gtgs and met you would be happy to help I'm sure.  I know that if I were closer, I'd be first in line and I only met you once!

I agree with pp that you're better off without him as is your son no matter how much pain you are in right now.

This... Jessica, after the several occasions I've seen you, I consider you one of my mom friends

I sent you an email already....

MrsG2B07

Awww.....I'm sorry!  He didn't need to say hurtful things.

Monkeybuttwhat

I am so very sorry. I don't know how I missed this. If you need anything PM me.

Monkeybuttwhat

femmeftle9:

Sam78:

You are incorrect in thinking you have no one nearby to help you - the bumpies that have been to the gtgs and met you would be happy to help I'm sure.  I know that if I were closer, I'd be first in line and I only met you once!

I agree with pp that you're better off without him as is your son no matter how much pain you are in right now.

This... Jessica, after the several occasions I've seen you, I consider you one of my mom friends

I sent you an email already....

Also ATG I am close and I know how hard it is not to have family close by. If you need anything at all I am here.

LoriFalce

Wow. I'm sorry.