Guess who's getting divorced?

schnappycat

Goodness, I'm so sorry for you!?

RufflesRambo

AudreyGolightly:

There have been major problems over the years, I posted a long while ago about his drug and alcohol use. We've (well I've) been trying to get past it because he hasn't given it up. He got arrested, got off pretty scott free, and is still using. He's the "friend" from my post this morning about the phone number. There's money coming into the house that I don't believe is coming from work.

I've been working so hard to try to help him thru his addictions but he's not willing to give it up. He'd rather lose everything, which means I lose everything. We had a 3 month good period after he got arrested but it's back to the same old drama. He came home high/drunk last night and I got upset and of course today all of our marital problems are my fault. Same old same old. He doesn't like me as a person or our marriage but won't own to being the problem that's created all of this.

I'm so so sorry you have been dealing with this. But honestly, in the long run, if he is unwilling to give up his addictions, you and your LO are far, far better off without him. It won't be easy I'm sure, but you don't need that kind of man as a H or a father in your lives.

((hugs))

laur1120

i'm so sorry! What a sh!tty situation!!  Like janimal said it'll suck hardcore for awhile but you will come out better off on the other side.  GL to you!!!!

SuperCuteBenz

jamie5315:

I'm sorry. I had to make that decision last week. I never thought I would get divorced. PM me if you want to talk

Where the heck have I been. I didn't know this either.

I am sorry you are both going through this.

Tess12

I'm so sorry you're going through this, but honestly it sounds like you'll be better off without him and all his problems.

KKM

AudreyGolightly:

There have been major problems over the years, I posted a long while ago about his drug and alcohol use. We've (well I've) been trying to get past it because he hasn't given it up. He got arrested, got off pretty scott free, and is still using. He's the "friend" from my post this morning about the phone number. There's money coming into the house that I don't believe is coming from work.

I've been working so hard to try to help him thru his addictions but he's not willing to give it up. He'd rather lose everything, which means I lose everything. We had a 3 month good period after he got arrested but it's back to the same old drama. He came home high/drunk last night and I got upset and of course today all of our marital problems are my fault. Same old same old. He doesn't like me as a person or our marriage but won't own to being the problem that's created all of this.

Oh honey, I remember some of your posts.  I know in your heart you know you and ds are better without him, but it doesnt make any of this any easier.

GabbysMama

AudreyGolightly:

There have been major problems over the years, I posted a long while ago about his drug and alcohol use. We've (well I've) been trying to get past it because he hasn't given it up. He got arrested, got off pretty scott free, and is still using. He's the "friend" from my post this morning about the phone number. There's money coming into the house that I don't believe is coming from work.

I've been working so hard to try to help him thru his addictions but he's not willing to give it up. He'd rather lose everything, which means I lose everything. We had a 3 month good period after he got arrested but it's back to the same old drama. He came home high/drunk last night and I got upset and of course today all of our marital problems are my fault. Same old same old. He doesn't like me as a person or our marriage but won't own to being the problem that's created all of this.

You will obviously be better off without him.  Sounds like he needs to get his $hit straight if for no other reason then his beautiful son.  You will be fine.  Stay strong and we will all be thinking of you!

mlfricke

Pattypoundcake:

Wow, did you marry a Manchild Douche or what?

What kind of MAN does that? Not manly enough to look you in the eye while he says these things?

 

I am SO SORRY that this is happening to you. What a douche.

 This exactly!

I'm so sorry you're going through this.  What an awful thing to deal with.

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Lucky_Dragonfly:

oh that is harsh. And seriously how klassy is he to call you at work to say this?

How long have you been married for?

Married 3 years, together 8

ironmommy

I'm very sorry you're dealing with this and really disgusted that he CALLED you to tell you all of this. That is just awful for you.

With his addiction issues ... It often takes something serious (like losing your family) before you're willing to step up and do what it takes to quit. I hope that's the outcome for him (and for you and your LO).

Amrice78

the situation sucks and I can't imagine what you're going through, but you and ds will be much better off without a drug abusing jerk in the house.  again, I'm so sorry (((hugs)))

trigirl30

You've done more than most would to try to support your husband and save your marriage.  You need to look out for you and DS.  Drugs and selling drugs=scary and untrustworthy people.  You don't need those types of people around your house and your child.  Your DH obviously isn't going to change.  I know it's hard(I've been there) but trust me, you will get through this and things will get better.  You deserve to be in a happy and safe place with someone who appreciates you.  Don't let him take you down with him.

Good luck!!

aimeelv

((hugs))  I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

Judah'sMommy

OMG Audrey.  I'm so sorry.  Was this sudden?  ((HUGS)) ((HUGS)) and more ((HUGS))

ETA: And he is the friend from this morning?  So a drug addict, alchoholic, and probable cheater?  Bad news all around.  This must be so hard, but you WILL get through and be better because of it.  GL to you.

KittyCatBio

what a frakking douchebag.  i'm so sorry.  i'm glad you and your DS will be rid of his sorry ass.

Heather R

a.g.g., I wish you well with however this turns out.

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ironmommy:

I'm very sorry you're dealing with this and really disgusted that he CALLED you to tell you all of this. That is just awful for you.

With his addiction issues ... It often takes something serious (like losing your family) before you're willing to step up and do what it takes to quit. I hope that's the outcome for him (and for you and your LO).

Yeah I though having a couple of car accidents that could have killed him or someone else, being arrested and facing jail time would have woken him up but apparently it's going to take him losing everything. Even then, I don't know if that will do it.

Worst part is I knew I shouldn't have married him, bought a house with him, or had a child with him. I knew it, I just believe we could fix it. After 8 years, I've done all the fixing and I'm still going to lose everything.

nbjenni

I'm so sorry.

Go to every good attorney in town for a free council session. Even if you don't choose that one, they won't be able to take him on as a client due to conflict of intrest. Do not let him put your house on the market, and even if it is soley in his name, it is your marital home. From his previous history, it sounds like custody is going to swing heavily in your favor.

Again, I'm so sorry. And what a douchey thing for him to call and tell you.

kirbabe

Oh, I didn't know about the addictions.  I hate to say this, but I think you might be dodging a bullet.  I know it can't feel like it to you right now, but I feel like this is a positive thing!  You and Nicholas have a chance to come out of this relatively unscathed (I say relatively, because I'm sure it hurts so badly, but in the bigger picture, it's probably for the best).  Embrace this as a positive opportunity, although easier said than done, I'm sure. 

Get your finances in order right now.  Contact a lawyer too.

jenifairies

I'm so sorry. I remember you posting about problems in the past, so maybe he'll be doing you a favor in the long run (BTDT myself).

GL with everything and we're here anytime you need to vent or whatever.

carrie4g

Is there any way that you can leave work and pick up your LO? I wouldn't trust him based on his past at this point. You guys have probably had a lot of ups and downs of drama and it sounds like you need to pull yourself together right now.

First off, you need to contact an attorney. Especially regarding the extra cash coming in and protect yourself. You need to call all your credit cards and get your name removed from the accounts (if possible). I'm not familiar with all the steps but you need to start securing your situation first and foremost (save the tears for later).

Also, go to Alinon (spell?) the group for people who live with alcoholics and drug addicts. They'll help you understand that from the phone call to the phone number of the girl he's calling to all of it being not your fault and the part of the craziness of the addiction. Can you go to your parents tonight? Someone you can stay with that can help you? You need family and friend support right now. A best friend to call?

breezey2323

wow. SO not cool. I'm so sorry and I can completely relate. We have been going through something similar. PM me if you ever need to talk...

(((HUG)))

Temp778367875008010

Wow, what a crappy way to do that, but it sounds like right now you and your DS will be better without him.  I do hope he gets the help he needs, but you shouldn't have to put up with that if he's not willing to get help now.

KKM

nbjenni:

I'm so sorry.

Go to every good attorney in town for a free council session. Even if you don't choose that one, they won't be able to take him on as a client due to conflict of intrest. Do not let him put your house on the market, and even if it is soley in his name, it is your marital home. From his previous history, it sounds like custody is going to swing heavily in your favor.

Again, I'm so sorry. And what a douchey thing for him to call and tell you.

I hate to say it, but get copies of your current bank accounts and assest ASAP...like right now. 

KatieTheMagnificent

Thinking of you!

inbetweendreams

AudreyGolightly:

After 8 years, I've done all the fixing and I'm still going to lose everything.

But look at your DS and see what you've gained. I apologize if I'm overstepping my bounds by saying that. Sometimes in the darkness it's hard to see the light.

lanie26

I'm so very sorry. That truly sucks.

jenifairies

When I replied above I didn't know if you wanted the drug thing mentioned again, but then I read your f/u.. you are SOO much better off hun. You didn't fail this. You did everything you could to help him - one can only do so much.

Get your chin up, get your stuff straight and do not look back. he's not worth it. Hopefully he'll hit bottom soon and realize what a moron he is and he'll be a better dad to your DS, but don't let him suck you back in.

My ex turned into a user and it got quite bad there at the end. I didn't want to end it because I had vested so much time and energy into it. I kept thinking, maybe next time, maybe this time, blah blah blah. One day he came home and broke it off with me. I was so crushed. But you know what? Best thing he could have ever done. I don't know how long it would have taken me to hit the road myself. He did me the hugest favor EVER. Now I have a DH who is nothing like that.

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carrie4g:

Is there any way that you can leave work and pick up your LO? I wouldn't trust him based on his past at this point. You guys have probably had a lot of ups and downs of drama and it sounds like you need to pull yourself together right now.

First off, you need to contact an attorney. Especially regarding the extra cash coming in and protect yourself. You need to call all your credit cards and get your name removed from the accounts (if possible). I'm not familiar with all the steps but you need to start securing your situation first and foremost (save the tears for later).

Also, go to Alinon (spell?) the group for people who live with alcoholics and drug addicts. They'll help you understand that from the phone call to the phone number of the girl he's calling to all of it being not your fault and the part of the craziness of the addiction. Can you go to your parents tonight? Someone you can stay with that can help you? You need family and friend support right now. A best friend to call?

All of our banking accounts have always been seperate. The only thing we're joint on is our mortgage and I know I'm going to lose the house anyway. I can't stay there without his income. My truck s in his and his Mom's name, his truck is in my name and I know he'll want to swap titles because he love his truck. The hardest part is going to be moving. I don't have any family/friends here, all of my family is in TX. Unfortunately I dedicated all of my off time to him and our house and DS that I never made any friends. The biggest decisioin is going to have to be do I decide to stay here (MD) and keep my job and keep DS in daycare w/ MIL or do I just pack up and go back to TX without a job or daycare but be close to my family.

Dobie_Mama

I am so very sorry!

mamamoos

i have nothing to say that hasn't been said already, but i just wanted to let you know that you and DC are in my thoughts and prayers.

i'm so sorry you have to go through this....

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inbetweendreams:

AudreyGolightly:

After 8 years, I've done all the fixing and I'm still going to lose everything.

But look at your DS and see what you've gained. I apologize if I'm overstepping my bounds by saying that. Sometimes in the darkness it's hard to see the light.

You're right, he's the only thing I don't regret. I just hate to put him thru this.

citygirl_

Oh honey.  I'm so so so sorry.  If I can be a help or you just need someone random to talk to, you have my email.  Big hugs to you and I will say a prayer that you will find peace!

MrsTotty

AudreyGolightly:

All of our banking accounts have always been seperate. The only thing we're joint on is our mortgage and I know I'm going to lose the house anyway. I can't stay there without his income. My truck s in his and his Mom's name, his truck is in my name and I know he'll want to swap titles because he love his truck. The hardest part is going to be moving. I don't have any family/friends here, all of my family is in TX. Unfortunately I dedicated all of my off time to him and our house and DS that I never made any friends. The biggest decisioin is going to have to be do I decide to stay here (MD) and keep my job and keep DS in daycare w/ MIL or do I just pack up and go back to TX without a job or daycare but be close to my family.

I would go back to family.  Hands down.  Where in TX are they?

kelly&marty

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope you have your own bank accounts/money, if not, get some out before he blocks you from them. Divorces are messy that way, and you need to protect yourself and your son.

LUCKY41010

Pattypoundcake:

Wow, did you marry a Manchild Douche or what?

What kind of MAN does that? Not manly enough to look you in the eye while he says these things?

 

I am SO SORRY that this is happening to you. What a douche.

This is all I can say

 

Im sorry

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MrsTotty:

AudreyGolightly:

All of our banking accounts have always been seperate. The only thing we're joint on is our mortgage and I know I'm going to lose the house anyway. I can't stay there without his income. My truck s in his and his Mom's name, his truck is in my name and I know he'll want to swap titles because he love his truck. The hardest part is going to be moving. I don't have any family/friends here, all of my family is in TX. Unfortunately I dedicated all of my off time to him and our house and DS that I never made any friends. The biggest decisioin is going to have to be do I decide to stay here (MD) and keep my job and keep DS in daycare w/ MIL or do I just pack up and go back to TX without a job or daycare but be close to my family.

I would go back to family.  Hands down.  Where in TX are they?

Lytle (right outside of San Antonio).

RufflesRambo

MrsTotty:

AudreyGolightly:

All of our banking accounts have always been seperate. The only thing we're joint on is our mortgage and I know I'm going to lose the house anyway. I can't stay there without his income. My truck s in his and his Mom's name, his truck is in my name and I know he'll want to swap titles because he love his truck. The hardest part is going to be moving. I don't have any family/friends here, all of my family is in TX. Unfortunately I dedicated all of my off time to him and our house and DS that I never made any friends. The biggest decisioin is going to have to be do I decide to stay here (MD) and keep my job and keep DS in daycare w/ MIL or do I just pack up and go back to TX without a job or daycare but be close to my family.

I would go back to family.  Hands down.  Where in TX are they?

I totally agree. That's what family is there for - don't do this alone.

*KatieH*

I am so sorry that he put this all on you and while you were at work no less.  I am nearby if you need anything at all.   I hope you are ok.

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RufflesRambo:

MrsTotty:

AudreyGolightly:

All of our banking accounts have always been seperate. The only thing we're joint on is our mortgage and I know I'm going to lose the house anyway. I can't stay there without his income. My truck s in his and his Mom's name, his truck is in my name and I know he'll want to swap titles because he love his truck. The hardest part is going to be moving. I don't have any family/friends here, all of my family is in TX. Unfortunately I dedicated all of my off time to him and our house and DS that I never made any friends. The biggest decisioin is going to have to be do I decide to stay here (MD) and keep my job and keep DS in daycare w/ MIL or do I just pack up and go back to TX without a job or daycare but be close to my family.

I would go back to family.  Hands down.  Where in TX are they?

I totally agree. That's what family is there for - don't do this alone.

Luckily my parents are already experienced in this area. My sister moved back in with them a few months ago with her DD b/c her baby's father is another winner. We sure know how to pick em!