Book Instead of Card Wording?

librarianlady

 

Also, for those of you arguing BUT A BOOK ONLY COSTS A DOLLAR, a crappy book costs a dollar.  A book I'd actually want to give a kid as a gift would cost $7-$8, even in a board book iteration.  I am a children's librarian and don't want to give kids some crappy $1 Dora the Explorer picture book since that is not a quality book for a baby - I would want to give a board book that will be developmentally appropriate for a baby, like a Helen Oxenbury title.

As another children's librarian, I just want to second this - crappy Dora the Explorer is exactly what I think of when I think of a book that costs the same as a card. Not only is it not developmentally appropriate for a baby, it's not exactly a book that will be treasured for years, like the askers are pretending it will be -  it's likely to fall apart soon after purchase and again, it's crap. I always give books as shower presents and very much support encouraging families to read together, but they're actual high quality books, so they're the gift itself. (Yay, Helen Oxenbury!)

Hollywogg

danilynn17 said:

MelleTX:

If the idea of building your child's library is important to you, then register for books or even let a friend throw you a Baby's Library Shower. Or if friends/family ask what you need, tell them you want to build up the baby's library.

Or buy your own damn books.  It's not your friends and family's responsibility to provide everything you want for your child.

Loling at the AEs.  If you don't have the balls to say what you're saying under your real ID, then I give what you have to say absolutely zero weight.

Oh my god no one is saying its anyone's RESPONSIBILITY to buy anything. It's a freakin baby shower. This board is for people to gather ideas to throw baby showers. OP did NOT ask your opinion on the APPROPRIATENESS of this idea. if its worded as a REQUEST then it is by definition NOT a demand.

OP there are people on here who stalk this board just to attack any post that hits the tacky etiquette meter in their little judgemental brains. They LOVE to give their opinion in the rudest way possible however they do not realize that by doing this they themselves are being tacky.

I think the book idea is cute.

rh10264706

i received a lot of books at my baby shower...as GIFTS. if someone buys you a book, that is a gift. in my opinion, they shouldn't be asked to bring a book instead of a card, because that is another gift.  

Liz4444

BallSox said:

Aly764 said:

I am on another pregnancy board talking about this FABULOUS idea and making fun of these impolite trashy b*tches on this board who find the need to come on here and make rude comments just to make themselves feel better about their own sh*tty lives. 

What people don't understand is, you're not throwing a shower for yourself, your family or friends are throwing it for you, asking your other family and friends to bring a little extra something. Like a wishing well, bringing something extra to a shower is a tradition that has been done for years, and if you have a good family and friends they would WANT to do something for you that you will enjoy.

Besides I'm pretty sure someone who has this in their profile "Yes, he's aware I'm a horrible mother. Yes, I plan on teaching him to act just like me. No, CPS hasn't come to rescue him yet. "Yes, I'll make sure to let him know how sorry you feel for him." 

...is the LAST person who should be calling anything "tacky" LMAO 

 

https://www.lifamilies.com/chat/topic-books-instead-of-cards-at-shower-debate-784285-1.html

I got quoted and called a bitch... Woohoo!!!!

smrfyone

No one suggested giving the baby an Emily Post in lieu of a card?

ordinary1

TACKY! Don't.  Just don't.  Or if you must, tell Aunt Sally to come to your house at noon on Sunday.  You have decided she is buying you a diaper bag.  No cheap shit allowed! Or is that too tacky even though it's essentially the same thing.

It is extremely rude to tell people what to buy.  Diaper parties, address your own thank you card, bring a onesie, money tree, wishing well, bringing a book instead of a card.  It's all tacky and rude. 

Sometimes, I give book as a present. Now I would have to buy a "real" present because my thoughtful gift is now equivalent to a card.  I also like to make cards.  It costs about a quarter.  It is just a nice as a store bought card, but is more personal.  Please tell me where I can buy a decent book for a quarter.

laurakaz13

Ugh. Buy your own books.  Or people will just buy you books if they want to.  Skip the poem.  As much as you want to argue that it's cute, it isn't.  It's just tacky. 

RibbitGrl930

I've always thought that if a poem is necessary to make the request sound "cute," it's probably a tacky request. A reasonable and polite request will stand on its own, but a tacky request requires a little "packaging."

msmerymac

Guys, guys, guys. I think we're missing the real point, here, which is that tacky "poems" in invitations, imploring people to buy you things, are always really, really, horribly written by people who have no clue what poetry is, except that it sometimes vaguely rhymes. Really, the poem makes me cringe much more than the request for books. I will gladly buy you books about poetry, featuring good poetry, if you promise to read them.

nicholssquared

I would just like to add that this came up in casual conversation with my DH yesterday, and he didn't know this even existed. He thought I was BSing him. When I told him I was serious, he almost fell on the floor and gave me a look like "WT serious F" and then said, "...what?"

Even men, who have no experience with the rules of social etiquette, recognize the tacky when they see it. If my DH is judging you, what's your grandma thinking?

Meery82

nicholssquared said:

I would just like to add that this came up in casual conversation with my DH yesterday, and he didn't know this even existed. He thought I was BSing him. When I told him I was serious, he almost fell on the floor and gave me a look like "WT serious F" and then said, "...what?"

Even men, who have no experience with the rules of social etiquette, recognize the tacky when they see it. If my DH is judging you, what's your grandma thinking?

My H did the same thing. We got a baby shower invite in the mail with the book poem and he was annoyed that they were begging for more gifts. He also refused a diaper shower when my brother offered to throw him one. He did think I was nuts though when I refused to put our registry info in with our wedding invitations. Surprisingly, a lot of people did. WTF?

Meery82

Does anyone realize this thread is from 2009? LOL. I like how the PPs call everyone impolite trashy assholes when that's exactly what you are if you are begging for books instead of cards.

Meery82

The elderly are from a time where you were expected to work hard, take care of yourself and your family, and not to expect others to provide for you. They had manners and respect. There was no entitlement. Unfortunately, they are a dying breed. I know I'm getting a little off topic, but I'm reminded of this when I see people say their grandmothers would flip/do flip when they see this kind of entitled bullshit and when I see people call others rude and trashy for disliking an idea that is rude and trashy. Nowadays, people think it's okay to manipulate others into buying certain gifts by withholding the baby's sex, demand an expensive book instead of a thoughtful card, or expect a diaper party/raffle on top of the gift that a guest has already spent money and time on. Let's not forget a second/third/fourth shower so your friends and family can once again provide you with everything you need for a choice you made. Oh, you need pink frills because you're having your first girl? Either buy it yourself or put the baby in hand-me-down blue pajamas. She won't care. My younger brother wore my pink/purple/ rainbow sleepers and he turned out fine! Enough of the selfish, all-about-me entitlement!

mcgeeva

Meery82 said:

The elderly are from a time where you were expected to work hard, take care of yourself and your family, and not to expect others to provide for you. They had manners and respect. There was no entitlement. Unfortunately, they are a dying breed. I know I'm getting a little off topic, but I'm reminded of this when I see people say their grandmothers would flip/do flip when they see this kind of entitled bullshit and when I see people call others rude and trashy for disliking an idea that is rude and trashy. Nowadays, people think it's okay to manipulate others into buying certain gifts by withholding the baby's sex, demand an expensive book instead of a thoughtful card, or expect a diaper party/raffle on top of the gift that a guest has already spent money and time on. Let's not forget a second/third/fourth shower so your friends and family can once again provide you with everything you need for a choice you made. Oh, you need pink frills because you're having your first girl? Either buy it yourself or put the baby in hand-me-down blue pajamas. She won't care. My younger brother wore my pink/purple/ rainbow sleepers and he turned out fine! Enough of the selfish, all-about-me entitlement!

Love it and agree with it all!

kvettese

We did this at my shower and it worked out awesome. Our LO has a nice little library started and everyone I had talked to thought the idea was really cute. My SIL who threw my shower just put on the invite in "lieu of card please bring your favorite childhood book to help build baby's library".

Cranang

kvettese said:

We did this at my shower and it worked out awesome. Our LO has a nice little library started and everyone I had talked to thought the idea was really cute. My SIL who threw my shower just put on the invite in "lieu of card please bring your favorite childhood book to help build baby's library".

@kvettese
Oh I'm sure everyone told you that to your face. It's super tacky and if you want a library for your kid, buy the books yourself.

vanessazielke

Aren't these message boards suppose to be helpful...? It's really common for such a request. No need to be so....bitter.

Just sayin'

KatFCo

vanessazielke said:

Aren't these message boards suppose to be helpful...? It's really common for such a request. No need to be so....bitter.

Just sayin'

Really?

1. This thread had finally died and you had to bring it up again for that?

2. Having people tell you there's a good chance your guests will be judging and side-eying you for being greedy and demanding is helpful. It's like having a booger on your nose. It might be uncomfortable to be told, but it's infinitely more uncomfortable to find out later that everyone was looking at it and no one bothered to tell you.

Shobb414

Cards come and go but the gift of literacy lasts a lifetime. Please bring a children's book of choice instead of a card.

nicholssquared

I like how everyone justifies this by saying that it's a waste of people's money to buy a card, so they should buy a book instead because it lasts longer. Nobody's required to buy a card either. I typically don't - I get a blank note and write the guest of honor a heartfelt...something. Don't bother to buy an expensive card just to sign my name. I think that's stupid. Therefore, I wasn't going to spend that money to begin with, why should I spend it on a book? Rude...

BallSox

Shobb414 said:

Cards come and go but the gift of literacy lasts a lifetime. Please bring a children's book of choice instead of a card.

Ok, I don't know why the gif isn't working, but I'll try to fix it when I get home. 

Sarenader

krissyh21. There's also a right way and a wrong way to state your opinion as well. Unfortunately for you you chose the wrong way. I feel sorry for you. I happen to love the idea of requesting a book instead of a card. I see it as something you and your child can cherish for many years to come. How many cards actually get saved and used on a regular basis? I have a box full of birthday cards from my grandma that is just collecting dust. I add to it every year, but haven't looked at them since I was a teenager. Cards are a waste of money and paper. At least the book will be read, AND, if the gifter signs it, that person will be remembered forever. Plus, most cards are really expensive and a book might even be cheaper or at least the same amount.

Meery82

msspeedymarie said:

Sarenader said:

krissyh21. There's also a right way and a wrong way to state your opinion as well. Unfortunately for you you chose the wrong way. I feel sorry for you. I happen to love the idea of requesting a book instead of a card. I see it as something you and your child can cherish for many years to come. How many cards actually get saved and used on a regular basis? I have a box full of birthday cards from my grandma that is just collecting dust. I add to it every year, but haven't looked at them since I was a teenager. Cards are a waste of money and paper. At least the book will be read, AND, if the gifter signs it, that person will be remembered forever. Plus, most cards are really expensive and a book might even be cheaper or at least the same amount.

Why are you dragging up a year old thread? And doing it to say things that have been said a thousand times before.

No kidding. You chose this to be your first post? I don't think you are going to like The Bump. Get a freakin clue.

RibbitGrl930

Sarenader said:

krissyh21. There's also a right way and a wrong way to state your opinion as well. Unfortunately for you you chose the wrong way. I feel sorry for you. I happen to love the idea of requesting a book instead of a card. I see it as something you and your child can cherish for many years to come. How many cards actually get saved and used on a regular basis? I have a box full of birthday cards from my grandma that is just collecting dust. I add to it every year, but haven't looked at them since I was a teenager. Cards are a waste of money and paper. At least the book will be read, AND, if the gifter signs it, that person will be remembered forever. Plus, most cards are really expensive and a book might even be cheaper or at least the same amount.

You know what I think would be wonderful? For my son to be able to graduate from college without him or us going into debt to pay for it. Wouldn't it be great for us to ask of family and friends to give us donations to his college fund instead of a card whenever they give him a birthday or Christmas present? My son would surely appreciate getting his education to learn a serviceable skill with which to enter the workforce, and not have to worry about dedicating any of his income to debt repayment.

Wrapping something up under the guise of it being good or useful to the child does not excuse the parents from their responsibilities or justify them imposing on their friends and family.

cafecreme

mcdev said:

I'm sure this has been posted a million times, but the SEARCH function isn't working. ?Do any of you have a cute way to word in the invitation to bring a children's book in lieu of a card? ?TIA!

please. just no. It's very bad etiquette EVERYWHERE to do this. Very tacky. 

rmc0718

Holy what!? I have never seen such nastiness from grown women before! You should be ashamed of yourselves for treating people this way. It's one thing to share your opinion but why is it necessary to speak to one another in such a hurtful way? You make it very difficult for new moms to want to seek advice when you just shut them down for no good reason. I hope you raise your children to be better than this.

AngelinaC02

Honestly a card & book do not cost the same. I went to a shower this weekend where books instead of cards were requested & the MTB got 4 of the same book because it was the least expensive option at Target where she's registered. I know that because I was one of the 4 & so was my Girlfriend! I didn't want to not follow the request on the invite but also couldn't really spend another 10 dollars on a book! I am an expectant Mother myself & money is something to be considered!

atmaloney

Google isn't working? Hmm. 

chevronseven

Why is a thread from 2009 on the front page???

But since it came up, I will point out that the MTB isn't the one asking for books, the hostess is. I just had my shower and my best friend surprised me by doing the book instead of card thing. I had no idea. Honestly I'm very glad she did, because I love the idea and I got some great new books (many of which were used and cost about the same as a card would have). But those who think it is gift grabby should just remember that it probably isn't even something the MTB has any control over.

JennyRicky

jKiJG

The hostess of our baby/adoption shower (superhero themed) wrote this on our invitations and I think it is adorable! I loved that she put Well-loved or New, so the guests could just grab a book their child no longer likes or uses and give that as a card with their thoughts so that my child could have them. Our son is one, we adopted through foster care, and the baby shower is in a few weeks (we waited until we had him and he got a bit acclimated) and I know that he will like looking at the books more than cards which would probably be put in a box in the garage.

One small request, it won't be too hard.

Can you bring a book, instead of a card?

Superheroes or whichever, just sign your thoughts  in the cover.

It can be well-loved or new, we'll leave it up to you.

I love the idea of giving books instead of cards for kids so much that I ordered a few Little Golden Books from Amazon for $1 or $2 that I could give to the nieces and nephews when their birthdays came up - Frozen, Superheroes, Trucks - I love it and I know that they will love seeing their favorite characters and having a book rather than having a card.

I found this post while Google searching to see if there were bday card writing suggestions for books instead of cards, so I know it is an old thread, however someone else had just posted in September of this year - so I thought why not.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

teamawesome02152

I find nothing tacky about requesting books.   The gift giver has a budget and will work the book into it.   It is no more tacky than registering for a bunch of presents.   There is zero difference between requesting books and requesting gifts on a registry.   I find the tone of some of these responses very negative (and some just downright obnoxious).   There are polite ways of expressing ones opinion.   

Meery82

teamawesome02152 said:

I find nothing tacky about requesting books.   The gift giver has a budget and will work the book into it.   It is no more tacky than registering for a bunch of presents.   There is zero difference between requesting books and requesting gifts on a registry.   I find the tone of some of these responses very negative (and some just downright obnoxious).   There are polite ways of expressing ones opinion.   

Thanks for bringing up a zombie thread once again just to spew stupid shit.

bbiutmcph

danacour said:

i hope you didn't pass you negativity onto your child! you seem like a pretty terrible person. i feel so sorry for you!

Who are you talking to @danacour and again why the hell are we bringing this thread up.....AGAIN 

oliv0026

.

Empireceo

danacour said:

i hope you didn't pass you negativity onto your child! you seem like a pretty terrible person. i feel so sorry for you!

Reported

LoveLee85

Every shower I have attended the last five years has done the 'book instead of card' thing; I never thought anything of it really. Like my dad would say: Just because everyone's doing it, doesn't mean it's right or that you should!! LOL

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I'm more offended by the terrible poetry than the gift request. Forcing some sentences to end in rhyming words does not a poem make. If you're going to free verse, free verse all the way and drop the rhyme. Otherwise, respect the iambic pentameter, people!

leahluben

I don't think this is tacky at all!   As someone else said, it shows that you put value into reading to your child.  As much as I love cards, they are mostly a waste of money. They usually end up getting thrown out, where as a book would be used and last for many, many years.  Not only that, but if you've bought a card recently, you know that the price of a nice card now a days is pretty hefty - at least $4 or $5.  You can get a good children's book for that price.  So not only is this idea not tacky, it also makes much more sense than buying a card.