am I out of line?

taciboo25

so my DH is in a wedding in December. the groom has decided he wants a huge bachelor party. they have decided to go to a state around us, rent a condo, and spend 4 days drinking and partying. I'm a little miffed about him going for 4 days and spending that kind of money when there is a child on the way. to make matters worse, DH overdrew his account last month and I had to pull out of our baby savings to cover what he needed. we had also committed to take care of 3 of our nieces and nephews for two of these days and now I'll be doing it by myself. I'm just pissed. do I have any reason to be?

proud-mommy-to-be

Personally, I would be hacked off... just cause we already had plans with the nieces and taking them on by yourself is a lot. Can he not cut the trip in half, half the time and half the money?

neonvicki81

My hubby is going on a bachelor weekend in July. I'm not too wild about it, but we aren't going to this friend's wedding-(he will be at Annual training-Army) and I will be 8 1/2 months pregnant, and wont' go alone.

I figure if you can make a deal-he goes for two days, or he has a budget. Like, you give him so much cash and that is it. I think he should be able to go, but that's IMO!

lspinman

My DH leaves for a week long bach party this weekend and I was just diagnosed with high BP.  I am not annoyed but instead excited to have the house to myself for a few days...BUT I think it is fine to have a conversation about the money side of it!  We talked about the money and he did an extra consulting gig to save up for the trip. 

mrsmacias2008

I would be a little ticked off too. He needs to realize you will have a newborn and also have other kids there that you have to take care of too. Plus, the money thing...he needs to be a little smarter about it.

imaPrincess

I don't know if it's out of line or not, but I'd be super pissed too.  There would be NO WAY that DH would be going away for 4 days to party like a bachelor when we had a newborn at home...I could think of much more important things for him to spend the money on...I say you are not out of line at all and in my opinion you have EVERY right to be pissed.  Some may not agree, but I'm almost pissed for you right now.

realisticdreams

I'd be pissed.  Even if I wasn't pregnant.  Drinking adds up quickly, their are more important things in life once their is a baby on the way and/or in the house.  Plus you will have your LO and 3 more, all by yourself.  That is simply unfair. 

minda31807

I would be mad especially since you both agreed to watch your nieces and nephews during that time. 

I would make him save up for this party on top of saving for the baby and repaying the money you took out of the baby fund to cover his overdrawing his account.

taciboo25

neonvicki81:

My hubby is going on a bachelor weekend in July. I'm not too wild about it, but we aren't going to this friend's wedding-(he will be at Annual training-Army) and I will be 8 1/2 months pregnant, and wont' go alone.

I figure if you can make a deal-he goes for two days, or he has a budget. Like, you give him so much cash and that is it. I think he should be able to go, but that's IMO!

if we weren't going to the wedding I might have a little more sympathy. unfortunately the wedding is also out of state and he is a groomsman. that will also end up costing us a ton and we will have a newborn with us. 

taciboo25

imaPrincess:

I don't know if it's out of line or not, but I'd be super pissed too.  There would be NO WAY that DH would be going away for 4 days to party like a bachelor when we had a newborn at home...I could think of much more important things for him to spend the money on...I say you are not out of line at all and in my opinion you have EVERY right to be pissed.  Some may not agree, but I'm almost pissed for you right now.

sorry...I should have made it clear this was next month so the LO will not be here yet. there is no way he'd be leaving if that was the case. 

tklmechris98

Maybe you can compromise with him. Of course he wants to be there for his friend or whoever so maybe he can go the first night and come home the next day. I think 4 days a little much and I probably would be pissed too especially if money was a huge concern.  Actually for us money is a huge concern.  One of my husband's friend's is getting married and he wanted to go to Toronto for his bachelor party.  There was absolutely no way he was going to this.  If we had no money worries then I wouldn't have cared at all, but that isn't the case.  I feel your pain though, my DH is so bad with money too.....the worst!!!!!

SoonToBeTabor

He's going to leave you with an infant and two other children? Id be a little miffed about that. I suppose it would be rude, though, not to attend a bachelor party for someone's wedding you are in..hmm.

I dont know what I would do. Maybe ask him if he can do 2 days instead of 4.

taciboo25

I wish I could convince him to break the trip up but they are all carpooling because it's 9 hours away. I'm just getting aggravated!!

SmallandNeedy

I say you're perfectly in line. Whatever happened to a good old-fashioned one-night bachelor party??

taciboo25

SmallandNeedy:

I say you're perfectly in line. Whatever happened to a good old-fashioned one-night bachelor party?

I know...this is what I was thinking. Whatever happened to just one night of fun?

ecoppins

I'd be pissed! Dh is doing the same thing, expensive multi-day bach party in key west and I loath the groom.

If there was a previous obligation and financial constraints I might kill him or maim him at the very least ?

kirstenjclover

yes u have a MAJOR reason to be ... I dont blame u ... id be ticked off too

getnmarried910

imaPrincess:

I don't know if it's out of line or not, but I'd be super pissed too.  There would be NO WAY that DH would be going away for 4 days to party like a bachelor when we had a newborn at home...I could think of much more important things for him to spend the money on...I say you are not out of line at all and in my opinion you have EVERY right to be pissed.  Some may not agree, but I'm almost pissed for you right now.

This.

whidbeymomma

Nope, you have every reason to be pissed. He is being extremely selfish by expecting that you'll be okay with this plan. He will be leaving you with 3 kids other than your newborn baby to party... He needs a bit of a reality check.

Celiarh1

I would be livid! But saying that I agree with pps about maybe compromising esp. since you have your nieces and the money issue, it may spawn a horrible fight if you try and say no. I would let mine go two days half the money and he gets to help you with the kids. I also like the budget only letting him take cash Idea! Hope it works out and he can compromise for you and your growing LO!

DiscusCoach

Yup. Pissed is a good word!

Can he go for part of the time? 

sadielove

I don't think my DH would even have the balls to ask me if he could leave me to party for four days while I'm pregnant!

bob&bobbijo

SmallandNeedy:

I say you're perfectly in line. Whatever happened to a good old-fashioned one-night bachelor party?

this. seems as though the longer trip bachelor parties are becoming more popular. i don't see whay that is necessary at all. i'd be really pissed- especially about the money!