NBR: Would you do it?

rommelea

So DH was offered the opportunity at work yesterday to switch shifts.  He currently works 6:30-2:45 and was asked if he'd like to switch to the shift after that... 2:30-10:45.  If he did this - we'd rake in a ton more money because I have a flexible schedule.  I could switch my work hours and could do 6-2 which would get me home in time for DH to leave... so we wouldn't have to do childcare AT ALL.  He'd also get a 12% shift differential for working those hours.  BUT - we'd hardly ever see each other!  I'd see him in the morning as I was leaving for work... and then I'd see him for half a second when I got home from work.  Chances are by the time he got home I'd already be asleep or in bed... so we'd really only spend time together on the weekends.  What do you ladies think - is the extra money and no childcare worth it or will it be too much of a strain on our relationship to never see each other??

robbie3982

That's a tough one.  Would he be able to change his hours back if you try it out and decide it's not for you?

MrsThomas2Be

The way the economy is today, you are damn right I would do it!  But make sure that is what you want.

emlady

I would probably do it.  If you weren't going to see each other on weekend, I would say no, but as long as you have a couple of days together it sounds worth it at least for awhile.  You'll also each get alone time with the baby, which a lot of parent I know like.

rommelea

robbie3982:

That's a tough one.  Would he be able to change his hours back if you try it out and decide it's not for you?

  Not sure - That's what I told him to ask today because I wouldn't want to try without the option of going back.

MidwestTexan

emlady:

I would probably do it.  If you weren't going to see each other on weekend, I would say no, but as long as you have a couple of days together it sounds worth it at least for awhile.  You'll also each get alone time with the baby, which a lot of parent I know like.

Agreed.

lunamanzana

I know a couple that does that and it works for them.  I don't think I would like it all that much myself, though.... maybe for the short term - say a year or so, but then I would want a definite plan to move away from that set-up.  I guess this isn't very helpful, but you need to think about how you would feel not seeing DH much during the week.  No dinner together, no bedtime routine with baby and daddy...  those are things I would miss most.

KateandEd

At this point, I would say we would probably decide to do it.  Mostly because the baby would be with mom or dad exclusivly.  It's tough you won't see each other that much, but hopefully you can make it work.

icyblueeyez19

MrsThomas2Be:

The way the economy is today, you are damn right I would do it!  But make sure that is what you want.

this.

kldanzinger

My SIL and her husband were able to go to a similar schedule about a year ago. It's tough, but they make it work. Good luck with whatever you decide!

peachypear

Oh, boy. DH and I would have a very hard time with no time together on weekdays... plus, caring for a new baby alone...

But +12% and no child care is HUGE. I would be tempted. Agree that you should first find out if he can switch back in case it's miserable.

Mrs_mam

Not having to spend money on childcare is a huge bonus, but I don't think I could not see DH all week. Maybe you can do a trial run for a few months and see how it goes.

heathb21

My brother and sister-in-law do this, and aren't really happy with the situation.  And after hearing their complaints about it, I wouldn't do it. 

If you do it, I would see if he has the possibility of switching his hours back, if it doesn't work for you guys or see if you can do it for a month trial run.  Maybe it would work for you guys. 

The money would be great, but I would be afraid it would effect my relationship with DH.

 

TimsMayBride

I wouldn?t do it. I think it would be too much strain on us, in addition to the new baby. That?s just me ? only you know what?s best for your family.

liongish119

For two years DH was rotating between 3 shifts, so about 33% of the time this was our life (I had a set schedule the whole time)- and, even worse, our weekends didn't match up so we never got a full day together. 

It was terrible- after a while we both felt so lonely and disconnected from each other.  He is going to start rotating again later in this year, but it will be OK this time because I will be a SAHM by then, and so I'll be around when he is.

IMO, unless you need to for financial reasons don't do it- if we'd had any choice we wouldn't have.

innes1015

There are a lot of things to consider with this, but DH and I did this for awhile, and he has just switched shifts again (now 4am-1pm). 

Aside from the things you mentioned, the other 'benefit' was that I didn't really have to worry about fixing dinner, or keeping to a schedule because it was just me.  DH and I joked that we were still together because we never saw eachother to get mad at the other.  It makes weekend time so much more important though!

laurenshay

I work from 8-5 and my DH works 2nd shift at the railroad which is from 3p-11p.  It works well because we only have to put DS in daycare for 3 hours a day, three days a week (my DH's days off are in the middle of the week).  It was an adjustment when I started working and not getting to see him after work, but it is ok.  We have lunch together almost everyday and I see him on his days off and on the weekends.  If you are getting that much more money AND saving on not having to put your baby in daycare, I would totally say go for it! 

lennonlover

Personally, I wouldn't do it.  DH have our evenings together now, and I love it.  I really couldn't imagine not having him there.  But it's not an issue for us, we have free childcare (my mom)....so maybe if I was in your shoes I would think about it.  Money isn't everything, time together as a family is really the most important thing.

SoOn2bEbLaNk

I woudl totally do it.  IT is a huge sacrifce, but that is what parenting is all about.

surprisebaby4us2009

We are doing this right now and saving/paying off a bunch of stuff and i have to say it is hard to do... but financiall nice and helping to eliminate some stress.

It makes us cherish our time together more, although our time together is less I have to say that I appreciate him so much and vice versa!  No childcare when the baby comes is going to save so much money and to not have to worry about sick/vacation time if the baby is sick or has to go to the dr is just awesome for us right now!

October30th2004

DH & I did this for a year without a child. I sucked because weekends were crazy. But it could be worth it not to have your child in daycare. Talk about it and what it means. Right now DH works retail and his schedule changes week to week which can be hard. It was really hard when I was working over 40 and going to college with 3 classes. Now I don't have a job so we see each other more. I will need to find a job late summer though. Good luck and give it a try if you can.

jaclynmscott

If I had that opportunity I would do it. I have 2 kids now and the extra money would be really nice. I know it would be hard to not see each other, but maybe the extra money would allow you to take extra time off??

Bestsugar

My dh and i do this now, and i think its awful! we never see eachother!

ARC 07

If our finacial situation was dire that we needed to do it, then we would. But my time with my DH is more precious to me than money anyday. I wouldn't be able to handle that much time apart...especially with a new baby and trying to build a family. I guess you need to weigh the pros and cons and see what will be best for you. Good luck.

erino&chrish

It depends on how tight money is.  If money is really tight for you two, it might be worth it so that you can save the extra money you would have spent on daycare plus his shift differential.  If money isn't that tight, I'd say that spending time together as a family with the baby is priceless.  DH have a similar situation where we have flexible schedules and are avoiding daycare by working different hours, but we have a backup daycare lady lined up in case we can't handle it or don't see each other.

MumtoB

If it was me, I would do it in a heartbeat... the economy suuuucks... I'd love to have the option to not have to put my baby into daycare ... and I understand it would be a hardship on one's relationship, but I think in the long run, it'd be worth it.