@hitcj4687 your feelings on the matter are extremely valid! I don't know why a lot of people think c sections are easy, it's like they don't understand the mortality rate that c sections have? Or how hard recovery can be? No I've always thought it was definitely not the easy way out, I'm sorry people are really so insensitive with their thoughts and comments, I know how triggering it can be 😩 I really hope you can have your vbac and that it's an empowering healing experience.
@peyts228 I ended up with a csection with my first too, and on paper my chances of having another one are greater than 60%. My main concern is a healthy me and a healthy baby! A csection is not an inferior way to birth a baby by any means at all. The healing time is so hard and I hope all goes so very smoothly for you!!
@kalesix3 I'm so hopeful that all the amount of preparing I have and continue to do will make a big difference on this journey. My healing time was very complicated with my csection, and that's not to say healing is easy with a vaginal birth either, but my hope is for a faster heal time this time around. And I really do want the experience of a vaginal birth. I strongly feel that I will have the birth I want this time around. And thats the mindset I need to keep here
My SIL did everything imaginable to induce labor. She did the balloon cath. She did pit. She had an awful and long agonizing labor. She is a vet and is 100% medical intervention. She told me now going through it she understands my mindset better. As little intervention as possible. Badly timed epidural can slow progress. But too late and it's too late.
I think interventions are needed. If you have a preexisting condition or a risk of course c sections are a MUST!!! IMO much like how a baby is fed (fed is best). But so long as baby gets earthside how ever necessary is important. If you can do it the way the mother wants even better. To judge someone on how they do it or going unmedicated is soooo junior high and irritable to watch. I highly recommend meditation no matter what you choose, because finding that calm when everything is happening and when your hopes may be being squashed is important.
@hitcj4687 if it makes tou feel any better, my mom has 2 successful VBACS. Her c section was because they thought my brother was too big. Completely unnecessary procedure as he wasn't even 8lbs. Another friend had 2 sets if twin VBACS. I believe in you! You got this.
And c section always sounds soo awful. It's an intense surgery. To undermine it is disgusting.
Just need to complain that it is hard enough coordinating/managing our family's schedule just between me and my husband (to the point where we paid for a premium subscription to our family calendar app to make it easier). Now that DS1 has so many activities and things that he does, trying to keep his dad in the loop, too, is exhausting 😮💨
@hitcj4687 I'm glad you're advocating for a VBAC and I hope it happens for you! I know quite a few moms from my first BMB who had successful, smooth VBACs. My MIL had one too, way back in the 80s!
I love hearing about so many successful vbacs! That always makes me feel so good to know! @thescarletmom dude, I'm in the same boat 😂😂 I can hardly keep track of all the shit we have going on and currently it's just the one freaking kid!! But he is soooo involved. We have something going on all the time, I always feel like I'm forgetting something.
On another note, I signed myself up to sell tickets at an MMA fight tomorrow because they'll be paying me 260 bucks for my time, however I will be on my feet for 7 hours straight lol. I'm already dreading it, but I'm putting the money into our vacation squirrel fund so it feels worthwhile
@hitcj4687 Thankfully the little ones won't be up to much for quite some time still 😂 but I swear calendar management for J is a full time job. Between DH and I, we can just pop stuff onto our Cozi calendar and it tracks the calendar, birthdays, grocery lists, etc all in one shared spot. So a lot of the time, I put stuff on there to be able to let it leave the active processing part of my brain. And then having to remind myself to circle back and make sure I haven't missed anything to share with his dad is a lot of work. I'll give him a pass on the scouts stuff because only I go to the meetings/hear announcements, but he gets all the same emails and updates from the school I do 😒 but I know I would end up being the bad guy if I didn't not only tell him about it, but also send reminder texts. Just one of those things where I'm feeling extra burnt out and petty rn because DH and I are tackling a lot of things on our plates and I wish I could drop some of them and can't. We have taken the first of a lot of big steps in our finances and health in the last week and it's been *hard* (medical trauma makes simple doctors appointments super triggering for me and we have 4 on the calendar for next month between all of us 😞 and I grew up so insanely poor and the tension and trauma of that makes anything we try and do now to boost our credit/savings/talking about wills and assets super stressful).
@thescarletmom you are not alone on the stress of appt. I always wondered why people just avoided appts. Now I guess I know. I don't even necessarily have a reason for it either.
It would be so frustrating to have to deal with a co parenting ex. I know many great instances where it works really well, but even then there is added stress. I feel for you mamas that deal with that on the daily.
We are signing up for Tball and baseball this week. Adding that into the rotation will be very interesting. Especially with a newborn intow and family and friends running in and out and visiting for days at a time. It should be a very interesting few months. We are starting to schedule gma and gpa visits for around end of June and July. As well as family trips this summer and fall. I'm realizing how close it's getting and I'm so excited. Bring on the chaos.
@thoseboysmama I love the term “getting the baby earthside!” As a FTM I am all about whatever makes that happen. I would love an uncomplicated vaginal birth with pain management, but I’ll settle for whatever gets little one here and keeps me safe. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about L&D and the pain, but I trust the doctors and my wife to get me through it.
@hitcj4687i just supported a really beautiful vbac! I try not to have favorites… but man it was so amazing! It can be such a scary thing to prep for, but I have no doubt that all of your work will lead to a great experience, no matter what happens. I’ll be thinking of you for sure though!! If you haven’t heard of vbac link on IG, they are an awesome follow. And do a podcast as well!
@peyts228 I’m so sorry your first birth was not what you had hoped. I totally agree that sometimes the voices that are pro-unmedicated can be loud and occasionally unkind. There are unfortunately angry people on all sides in the Birth community it seems. I really hope that your birth experience this time around can be healing for you!
@monkey_mcfee the first time is the most nerve-wracking. Just the unknown of it all. So I researched like crazy what slows labor, what speeds it, what can help with speeding recovery, what to prep for, etc. Like obsessively. I'm glad I did. Educating yourself is something I suggest. But obviously when doing so it doesn't mean it will go as you plan. Knowing the lingo so you can catch things as they are happening and just the process of what to expect really is comforting. You feel less out of control.
You are going into it with the perfect mindset. I do youtube hypnobirthing videos. I start falling to sleep with it on from about this time on. Even just a few days a week. Your mind is your biggest tool. I'm so excited for you and all the FTMs. Life will never be the same. You'll wonder what life was before this. 🧡
Never had a c-section, but I definitely know it is not easier. I actually have a fear of a c-section kudos to the moms out there that are having them/ had them, definitely not for the weak.
Re: February Randoms
@kalesix3 I'm so hopeful that all the amount of preparing I have and continue to do will make a big difference on this journey. My healing time was very complicated with my csection, and that's not to say healing is easy with a vaginal birth either, but my hope is for a faster heal time this time around. And I really do want the experience of a vaginal birth. I strongly feel that I will have the birth I want this time around. And thats the mindset I need to keep here
@thescarletmom dude, I'm in the same boat 😂😂 I can hardly keep track of all the shit we have going on and currently it's just the one freaking kid!! But he is soooo involved. We have something going on all the time, I always feel like I'm forgetting something.
On another note, I signed myself up to sell tickets at an MMA fight tomorrow because they'll be paying me 260 bucks for my time, however I will be on my feet for 7 hours straight lol. I'm already dreading it, but I'm putting the money into our vacation squirrel fund so it feels worthwhile