@kalesix3 I measured ahead with DS1, but since I wasn't hearing the height comments from anybody, I was sooo excited to have a big chunky baby with round cheeks and all. He ended up being perfectly average despite measuring ahead (and despite literally the ENTIRE 20 minutes of pushing, the OB kept saying "this is a big baby, mom, this is a big baby!" like she was trying to scare me?), but I measured either right on track or a day or 2 behind with DS2. The shift in the way people talked to me about "big babies" made it feel so dramatically different between the two of them, I stressed so much about "what if he gets big" and the pressure was intense. Literally I thought about it every day. Why is it all so scary no matter what lol
@pttomato ugh the family pressures are so awful 🥺 they'll just say stuff with no concern for how it feels to you. my FIL has been stressing us out about the baby's kidneys (because of my husband's MCDK and that side of the family's history of serious diabetes complications) and its the least helpful thing possible. Despite the baby's kidneys looking perfect at the anatomy scan (and us knowing that's when DHs was diagnosed+like 90% of all cases) he and his mom were both immediately like "well you cant be sure" after our scan and pushing us to get a kidney panel run on the baby when she's born. We are confident in our ability to make medical decisions for our baby, no assistance needed.
@francesgs handsome pup! Cutting hair on an adult is hard enough, I can't imagine a dog! He doesn't have any bald patches so I say he looks fantastic 👌🏼😂
@thescarletmom 😂😂 he does have a couple!!! 😂😂 I took the guard off to try to even some spots out like a dummy and he moved and that’s how those happened. 🤦🏻♀️
@francesgs lol years ago my husband and I were taking a trip to Boston and we had a like 7am flight, and he tells me at 11pm the night before he wants a haircut for the trip ☠️ we were up until like 2am with me cutting his hair, and he doesn't know it but there was definitely a nice dent/bald patch in the back where he couldn't see from when I took the guard off to get a cleaner line 😂
@thescarletmom it's all so freaking stressful, I wish I could tune it out as well as I used to.
In other randoms and kind of a pity party but my MIL sent a package for Valentine's day that arrived late, she included a toy for my son and snacks for the road trip to our new home and made sure to only put things in for my son and my partner, she included absolutely nothing that I like or eat. It just feels like as she was packing everything up she was thinking "and I'll put this in for my son and these for grandson... And for my DIL... She's fat enough already". And I know she thinks that because she's told me multiple times. Anyways screw her and her dumb packages but I'm sad to be intentionally excluded, just one more reminder that all she cares about is her precious son and grandson and I might as well not exist. Can't wait to see her hateful self in person soon 🙄
@kalesix3 it always hurts to feel left out on purpose, even if you wouldn't have expected to be included. And it extra sucks to have something that *should* have been a nice gesture to actually turn out to be intentionally hurtful. Like being invited to a slumber party just to be made fun of. That's so awful and I'm sorry she treats you that way 😞
@kalesix3 to be intentionally left out never feels good. I always tell myself my MIL brought the man I love into this world so that is all the gift I need. The nonsense is hard to ignore, though. That's for sure.
I cut all the guys hair in the fam. It is an endeavor every time. My husband is really tall so that's a pain. But he atleast sits still. My sons never do and it always ends up with an uneven haircut or an unintended buzz cut! 🙄 I probably do 2 maybe 3 good ones each time. And everytime I take the guard off on the kids there is always a slanted line or a bald patch! Haha that's what hats are for. Right?
@kalesix3 God she sounds like such a miserable woman. How terrible. Stories like these remind me that in the future if my sons have spouses to make sure to never treat them that way. How terribly rude. I would definitely call her out because I am in no way a passive person, I am very blunt and straight forward and cannot hold my tongue 😂
Today we had such a sweet reminder from a stranger.
We bought a new vehicle. We used Carvana which was such a quick and smooth car purchase. I won't review until we have it tagged and all. So far very impressed. The car came out of a vending machine and the boys got to put the coins in! So fun!
Afterward we went to cheescake because we were in KC and met up with family in the area afterward. Our 2 year old was very tired after traveling and car buying. He strutted in with attitude and a man waiting said well looky here. 😏
We were sat in front of this lady eating alone, who kept staring at us. And I assumed it was because my toddler was being a toddler. So I took him to the bathroom after ordering and walked him around a bit. The lady continued to stare throughout the entire meal.
People come up to us all the time and say what a beautiful family and how well behaved they all are. I was expecting the opposite this time from her. We can be kinda rowdy in a nice setting. We usually avoid nicer restaurants or certain eating times because of that, but today was a special occasion. She even at some point said something to the waitress and they both looked right at me. I was like OMG here we go. We are being too loud.
Instead this sweet woman came up and asked us what we were up to today. She asked about the boys and when the next one was due. She said she lost her husband recently and that they never had kids and how lovely our lives looked. She was just soo sweet and exactly who I needed to meet today. We offered her to join us and she sat for a bit. Then she left. We talked to the boys about how important family is after.
When we were leaving our waitress told us she paid for our entire meal!!!!!! We ordered $50 in cheesecake alone! I was speechless. It was us 6 and 2 other adults.
What we are all currently going through to create life and continue to do in creating our legacies is soo important. It was such a sweet and sad reminder that each day and each choice matters and how thankful I am for my fertility. I've watched many people struggle with fertility and I've lost one of my own.
The longing in her eyes as she looked at my sons and my round impossible to miss belly was very hard to watch. I truly wanted her to stay longer and enjoy the meal with us. Then I found out she paid for it. I hope to meet her again someday to thank her. The older boys said, can she be a bonus Grandma 👵 🤣 We have 10 ladies who are Grandmas or we consider Grandmas. I wish I could offer her time at the park or something. I hope she has a community. How lucky and blessed are we all to be on this journey.
@kalesix3 I’m doing ok this time around. Since I’ve had 2 average sized babies now with well-controlled GD, and the risks from my incompetent cervix taking more focus, the doctors haven’t even mentioned the baby’s size this time. She also has been measuring average size all-around. Plus my anxiety and moral OCD are better controlled so I can brush off family comments a lot better now too.
@pttomato this may not be the difficult part for you, but valentines day and our anniversary both happening while being on pelvic rest for my placenta is a huge bummer for me personally. Plus it being winter and snowy, the whole restrictions thing has made my husband sort of overbearing about me driving at times, which is not my favorite. He's just concerned and wants to keep me and baby safe but come on, I'm not going to go out and intentionally be an unsafe driver, I have eyes and can see the snow too.
@thoseboysmama one of those perspective kind of moments. That's so nice of her to take time to talk to you and pay for your dinner! You were probably not far from me today if you were on the Plaza.
@pttomato what all does pelvic rest entail? I feel like I use my pelvic floor all damn day. That sounds so frustrating!!! I'm so sorry that's what you are dealing with!
@thescarletmom we were in that area this afternoon. I always forget how sweet Kansas/Missouri folks are. We are now nearly to our family in MO. Making a family reunion trip out of it. And running the vehicle hard before our window to return it no questions asked. I always forget how beautiful that city is. We are possibly doing a few months in the big city for in-between jobs here soon. Waiting on which location they want us. The kids have never done downtown city life so we are excited to maybe show them that side of life too. Not just country bumpkin life. And if we land there we have soo many possible sitters. Would be just lovely.
@hitcj4687 same! It's so annoying. That generation really needs to get a clue.🤦🏻♀️ I don't like confrontation but it's going to be hard not to call her out once she's here 😵 I still wish they weren't helping us move.
@pttomato I'm so glad for that, you have enough on your plate without the Dr stressing and you stressing about one more thing. I can only imagine how much being on pelvic rest must suck, I don't know how I'd do it, you're a badass but I'm sorry it's so hard, I'm sure you'd much rather not have restrictions at all. I hope the rest of the pregnancy flies by for you
And @thescarletmom if your placenta moves by next ultrasound you can come off pelvic rest right? I'm still really hoping it's moved, did you ever get into the imaging center to check on the smaller bump and different movement?
@thoseboysmama the city of fountains sure is something special! If you end up here, enjoy your time! And the extra hands. We are hometown kids through and through and while it can be easy to be disenchanted with "home", I do find every few months or so there's some new thing to appreciate about it, whether it's a hidden gem park or a restaurant we've never tried!
@hitcj4687 I definitely take all the terrible MIL stories straight to heart knowing I'll likely be somebody's MIL some day. I never want to put my kids of a position of choosing me or their spouse.
@kalesix3 yes, that's the only reason for the restrictions! And not yet. The u/s place we went to for our anatomy scan and will go our follow up charges a pretty penny for "diagnostic" u/s and won't run insurance to simplify payments. My midwife offered me two other options to look into and see if my insurance will cover it and i haven't heard back yet. I'm hoping we might get in next week at one 🤞I'm trying to keep the faith that she moved and things are already resolved and I just don't know it yet.
@thoseboysmama I think generally, no sex. For me, because I have an incompetent cervix, avoiding sex or anything in the vagina (I’m at higher risk for infection, which can trigger preterm labor), avoiding things like squatting or standing for long periods of time to try to reduce the pressure/stress on my cervix, no orgasms (can cause contractions).
In regards to the placenta discussion - I'll be having mine dehydrated and encapsulated and also have a tincture made. I had mine encapsulated with my first, but didn't stick with taking it and had really awful baby blues. With my second, I was really diligent about taking it and felt like it really helped even out my mood.
@kalesix3 I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's just ridiculous that a grown ass woman has to act like that.
I've hit kind of a rough patch emotionally the last few days. It feels like all the uncomfortable physical aspects of the third trimester are starting to show up and it's really making this whole having a third baby thing really real- like I keep having these moments of panic like ' how the hell am I going to do this?' ( like taking care of 3 kids 4 and under without totally losing my mind). I'm so checked out of my job, like it takes everything in me to go through and respond to emails and texts. I know I really need to up my physical activity and get outside in the sunshine, I know that will help.
***Totally wrote this like 2 days ago and now just realized I never posted 🥴
@sunny_native14 omg I'm so sorry you're going through it right now, February is a really hard month, plus seasonal depression and pregnancy fatigue and overwhelm is a tough combo. I hope some sunshine works wonders and don't be afraid to take a break from here for your mental health if you need to ❤️ we're all here for you whatever you're feeling! I hope better days are right around the corner. Sending you virtual hugs! Eta would some maca root help balance out some of the energy and blues aspects you've been struggling with? I swear by it.
@pttomato that sounds so frustrating and stressful. Do you have to continue this for the entirety of the pregnancy? If so I truly hope time flies for you. Seems like an almost impossible feat to fully rest your pelvic floor. I'll be thinking of you!
How in the heck does everyone deal with achy hips?!? I’m working out and stretching regularly, so I know that’s part of it, but sleeping on my side at night is painful! Tips and tricks, please!
@monkey_mcfee it's kinda unavoidable. But a new mattress or a topper helps. We bought an adjustable bed when I was pregnant with number 1.... best decision ever for pregnancy and post partum. I use the BIG U pillow and sleep with my feet by the bottom of the U so I can switch sides easily and snug the side I'm not using against my back. Then you can lean into it with your back. Takes some of the strain off your hips. Tricks me into thinking I'm back sleeping, when I'm not. Good luck. Soon you'll likely get the numb hands and arms too. I loathe that part at night as well.
@monkey_mcfee arnica, magnesium and epsom salt baths are lifesavers for me. My poor hip and pelvis hate side sleeping so much. I need acupuncture and to see a chiropractor too but just haven't done it yet.
@monkey_mcfee I'm struggling with achy hips over here, too! Like they have significantly been impacting my sleep the past few nights. I ran out of my epsom salts for baths a few weeks ago, so maybe that has something to do with it... hoping we both find some relief soon!
@kalesix3 thanks for the maca root suggestion! I haven't used that in years. How do you take it? I think I remember using it in smoothies...
Well, who the hell knew that people can see when you've viewed their LinkedIn account?? I sure didn't and now I'm drowning in embarrassment after I've looked at all kinds of people's profiles including an ex girlfriend of my husband's (from over 7 years ago, why am I like this???) And people I went to high school with. Since I don't have fb I just Google people sometimes to see what they look like now and now I've just found out everyone can see when I've viewed their profile and I'm so embarrassed I don't even know what to do with myself 😂😂😂
@thescarletmom since it's connected with my Google account, it automatically just had me logged in apparently! These are the things that keep me up at night lmfao
@hitcj4687 you just gave em an ego boost. But I can definitely understand your embarrassment. We can all relate though. We've all done it at some point. Damn social media!!!
@hitcj4687 one time when I was creeping I accidentally liked a post on Instagram and I was MORTIFIED. a frantic Google search told me if I blocked them immediately the notification that I liked their post would be deleted so they're still blocked 🤣 you're not alone and honestly you didn't do anything wrong! What the heck kind of privacy nightmare is publicly showing who's profile you looked at anyways lol 😅
@sunny_native14 yeah either capsules or powder mixed into smoothies is what I've done, I think Gaia discontinued their gelatinized capsules though 😩
I just typed out a long post about not being sure how to handle the changing table/dresser situation with the new baby plus my toddler and after getting to the end of my saga I realized I figured it all out 😂💡
@kalesix3 sometimes I get bored and want to look at people 😂😂😂 and I don't want to get back into social media so I just Google people and see what comes up. And then finding out people now know I've been actively looking at their stuff!? Why!??! Also I'm glad you solved your issue for the changing table/dresser lmao
@hitcj4687 same! My exes are all terrible because I definitely had a type and their wives all seem like insufferable train wrecks that I low key have pity for so I be creeping sometimes 😂
@thescarletmom right? I just needed to rant about it apparently 🤣
Today someone very dear to me passed on. I was able to say my goodbyes this month and was planning another trip for this weekend, to get that one last hug. He swore I was having a girl, told me someone told him. I started to believe it. Maybe the ultrasound was wrong. Or maybe I'll have another some day. He was very convinced it was fact. He taught me how to carry myself, how to be strong and self sufficient. I will forever be indebted to the ancestorial knowledge he gave.
This poem will forever remind me of him.
If—
IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
-Rudyard Kipling
Wish I could throw one back for you old man! Instead I'll watch old westerns while your soul lingers. Until we meet again. 🩶
Omg I'm so sad, I had to reschedule my ultrasound from last week twice due to how much we have on our plate right now and I finally got in today because I opted to go to a satellite imaging clinic instead of maternal fetal medicine since they couldn't get me in until the day before we move and I thought that would be too busy. I had my confirmation of pregnancy ultrasound at this same clinic and it was the nicest experience so I didn't expect any different but the tech didn't say a single word to me, she didn't put the ultrasound up on the screen and she didn't turn her little monitor towards me so I could see and she didn't get me a single picture. I'm so upset. I know they're just pictures but not knowing at any point if your baby will die makes having those pictures so important to me and I'm so sad and upset I didn't get any, not only that but this is the last ultrasound I'll probably have before we move away and it was so sentimental to me. Ugh I'm dumb I should have just kept the MFM appointment. I cranked my head all the way around to look at the monitor since she wouldn't show it to me and I saw the baby moving around a ton, and I saw that the heartbeat was 157 and that the head and stomach measurements were measuring around 23 weeks but that's it
Aw @kalesix3 that's so horrible 🥺 even if you weren't moving, every ultrasound is important and not even making an attempt at letting you see your baby is outrageous. I'm so sorry that it went terribly.
@thescarletmom I'm still bummed out today 😞 They released the ultrasound report to my portal so I know nothing was wrong, the tech was just really crappy which is kind of a relief but I'm still upset. Baby is 32nd percentile so still a peanut.
Re: February Randoms
In other randoms and kind of a pity party but my MIL sent a package for Valentine's day that arrived late, she included a toy for my son and snacks for the road trip to our new home and made sure to only put things in for my son and my partner, she included absolutely nothing that I like or eat. It just feels like as she was packing everything up she was thinking "and I'll put this in for my son and these for grandson... And for my DIL... She's fat enough already". And I know she thinks that because she's told me multiple times.
Anyways screw her and her dumb packages but I'm sad to be intentionally excluded, just one more reminder that all she cares about is her precious son and grandson and I might as well not exist.
Can't wait to see her hateful self in person soon 🙄
@pttomato I'm so glad for that, you have enough on your plate without the Dr stressing and you stressing about one more thing. I can only imagine how much being on pelvic rest must suck, I don't know how I'd do it, you're a badass but I'm sorry it's so hard, I'm sure you'd much rather not have restrictions at all. I hope the rest of the pregnancy flies by for you
And @thescarletmom if your placenta moves by next ultrasound you can come off pelvic rest right? I'm still really hoping it's moved, did you ever get into the imaging center to check on the smaller bump and different movement?
In regards to the placenta discussion - I'll be having mine dehydrated and encapsulated and also have a tincture made. I had mine encapsulated with my first, but didn't stick with taking it and had really awful baby blues. With my second, I was really diligent about taking it and felt like it really helped even out my mood.
@kalesix3 I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's just ridiculous that a grown ass woman has to act like that.
I've hit kind of a rough patch emotionally the last few days. It feels like all the uncomfortable physical aspects of the third trimester are starting to show up and it's really making this whole having a third baby thing really real- like I keep having these moments of panic like ' how the hell am I going to do this?' ( like taking care of 3 kids 4 and under without totally losing my mind). I'm so checked out of my job, like it takes everything in me to go through and respond to emails and texts. I know I really need to up my physical activity and get outside in the sunshine, I know that will help.
***Totally wrote this like 2 days ago and now just realized I never posted 🥴
Eta would some maca root help balance out some of the energy and blues aspects you've been struggling with? I swear by it.
@kalesix3 thanks for the maca root suggestion! I haven't used that in years. How do you take it? I think I remember using it in smoothies...
@sunny_native14 yeah either capsules or powder mixed into smoothies is what I've done, I think Gaia discontinued their gelatinized capsules though 😩
@thescarletmom right? I just needed to rant about it apparently 🤣
I cranked my head all the way around to look at the monitor since she wouldn't show it to me and I saw the baby moving around a ton, and I saw that the heartbeat was 157 and that the head and stomach measurements were measuring around 23 weeks but that's it
They released the ultrasound report to my portal so I know nothing was wrong, the tech was just really crappy which is kind of a relief but I'm still upset.
Baby is 32nd percentile so still a peanut.