Private Group Discussion

bows22

This is my first time participating on a BMB but from what I’ve seen from stalking my friends, around the 3rd trimester there is usually a discussion about moving on from the public forum. One of two things usually happen - either the group moves straight to a private Facebook group or they first move on to a private group on TB, get a little more personal to try to weed out any catfish, and then move to FB from there. I figured I’d start the discussion below!

bows22

So my thoughts are, I know our group hasn’t been extremely active. I haven’t participated as much as I’ve wanted to and I’m sure others feel the same. For that reason I think I’d be more comfortable going to a private TB group first. Usually other BMBs have a vetting process and only let people who have been pretty active in the group join, but I’d be okay with anyone joining who participated at all if we go that route. When I was on the Trying to Get Pregnant board we had at least 1 confirmed catfish so I lean more to the suspicious side and am not ready to share my full name, FB profile, etc. 

I’m going to link some discussions from other groups who moved to a private TB group to give you an idea of how it would work. 

August 2022

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12765073/private-group-migration

November 2021

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12761616/private-migration

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12761726/private-migration-vet-thread

krysnicole1022

I don't have Facebook but I would be for a private migration. There are obviously some randos joining in here and there. I've had more weird follow requests on Instagram over the last couple of months than ever before. 

sandy5693

I'd be for the private group!  Whatever works best for everyone.  Thanks for starting the discussion.

joyy-02

Don’t have Facebook either, but would definitely be for a private group as well 

shortstack930

I’m down for a private group. 

amille525

I’m fine with either. I don’t comment as much as some but I know it’s nice to have the community aspect of the group. No one I know in real life is pregnant right now and I love bouncing off ideas with other moms. 

krthouse

Also down for a private group!

mcclanna

Same, but I’m on the fence because I’m due October 2nd yet with GD will likely be induced earlier putting me in the September group. I have felt that I’m a bit ahead of most here, but hopefully there are others in a similar boat that are 32 weeks! I have a fb and would prefer a private forum. 

bows22

@mcclanna Have you been participating on the September board? I think they already made their move and I think they are being pretty strict about participation and who is allowed to join the private group/Facebook group (I think they did one of each). 

However I totally get it. My EDD with DD was December 4 and I didn’t participate on my BMB because i never had the guts to talk about anything “first” and I was ahead of everyone. Then she was born in November so I joined a random Facebook group for that birth month and felt like I was so behind everyone. So it’s hard being on either end of the spectrum I think. If it makes you feel better I’m sure you won’t be the only one in the group delivering in September!

mcclanna

@bows22 thank you, that’s helpful. I found out I had GD four weeks ago and by then the September group was not welcoming of any new members so all my connections have been in this month’s group. I’m sure by the time birth rolls around a few weeks here and there won’t make a difference!

kat_vegan87

I’d love to start a private group. I don’t have any social media though. I know DS has a playgroup that we use group me for if that’s an option. 

krysnicole1022

@mcclanna are they planning on inducing because of your fasting numbers? Or just because you have GD? I'm genuinely curious because with my last two there was absolutely no talk about having to have my GD babies before their due dates (I actually went over with #2) but this time I'm with a new hospital and they are trying to insist on me having him at 39 weeks exactly. I told them No, not unless there is a good reason. As long as he's healthy, I'm healthy, and my GD is controlled my planned c section can be planned for as close to 40 weeks/due date as possible or later. 

jilliboo

@mcclanna I’m due Oct 14, but because of my weird uterus situation dr told me be ready to go in sept. But by the time I got told that, the sept group seemed so far ahead…. And everyone here already knew my situation too. I wouldn’t worry about when you actually go, since you were technically due in Oct. we love having you. 

mia80

I'm happy to go to a private group, or FB, whichever is easier for everyone else. I haven't been too active, but try to keep up!

@mcclanna my due date for my son was Nov 14, but he ended up coming on Oct 25. There was actually a lot of N20 moms that gave birth in Oct and I never really felt ahead of the rest of the group.

mcclanna

@krysnicole1022 not insisting, more so just stating that it’s much more common in GD patients and to be prepared to not go all the way. With an Oct 2nd due date and the NJ school cut off at Oct 1st, I’d actually save $20k on day care costs if baby nugget came a few days early so as long as everyone is healthy I’m personally not opposed! 😛

And thank you to everyone else for the reassurance, I definitely feel more comfortable in this group seeing the same familiar “faces” so staying here makes the most sense.

krysnicole1022

That's so nice that the cut off is in October! It's September 1st here so my second missed the cut off my 7 days. 

stephers_

I also don't have Facebook, but I'd be down with a private BMB. I've been hesitant to share personal stuff / photos on a public forum (I have basically no social media lol), so the private group sounds perfect to me. I had a wild photo of my belly I wanted to post where her butt is just JUTTED out but didn't want my bare skin out there bahaha. 

nerdymom22

Private group here or on FB sounds good to me! With an EDD of October 7, I could also end up in September, if he’s early enough. I think it would be weird to jump into a September group right now, and weirder to try and join later when it actually comes up. I vote we stay here based on due dates rather than delivery dates… it’ll be close enough in the end. We might have November births in here too!

jen_third22

I’m for sure having my babies at mid-September at the latest even though my “due date” is 10/24. I’ve stayed with you lovely ladies in the October group because I’m hitting the same weeks/trimesters/symptoms as everyone else. My babies will also have adjusted ages since they’ll be very early, so they’ll still meet milestones around the same time as other babies here. I like the idea of keeping it by due date and I’d be interested in the private FB group.

rcgw

I don't really do social media, but would enjoy a private group here. You guys have been really helpful to make me feel calmer + answer random FTM questions. 😁

EmilyE13

I’m up for a private TB group! For first timers, fair warning that the private group pages can be a little buggy and annoying. My Jan 2020 group did a private TB for awhile but when it got too buggy we moved to Slack. Maybe some of the app updates have helped fix things on the private group side. 

bows22

@EmilyE13 I am in a PG on here and I access it from my mobile browser and haven’t had an issue (besides it accusing me of being spam when I tried to join). I gave up on the app a long time ago, but I think the mobile browser gives you the same view but is not as glitchy. 

EmilyE13

@bows22 yep, the browser tends to solve most issues. I just default to the app because I’m a masochist, apparently. 

bows22

@EmilyE13 hahaha yes I always wonder why anyone even bothers! Maybe it’s better now, I gave up on it a long time ago!

amille525

@mcclanna I’m due October 1st and they won’t let me go past 39 weeks because I’m high risk for several reasons which means a September birthday. But I’ve been in this group since the beginning and feel most comfortable here with all of you. 

ferret22

I'd be interested in joining a private group but I don't have a Facebook or other social media. I haven't shared any bump photos yet but would feel more comfortable doing that with a private group. It's been nice feeling supported here. 

EmilyE13

@amille525 by all means stay with us! It just means we will be fussing over your new baby pictures while we are still enormous and counting down the days. 

fichey

For a variety of reasons definitely haven't been as active lately, but I would be on board for a private group--wherever that may be. Especially for picture sharing, I just don't like putting that much out there when I don't know who's looking!

merostomata

I'm up for a private group or FB as well! With my first, we moved to a FB group, and anyone who delivered earlier than the month just stayed with us anyway. We used to have an IG chat as well, but it eventually dissolved due to some drama. That Bump/FB group has been such a wonderful source of support and information, especially as a FTM navigating everything for the first time. It was a totally different vibe going to a private group and I really started getting to know everyone after we had our babies and went to a private group. I now consider the ladies who stayed as real friends, and we've sent each other gifts, financial support during difficult times, holiday cards, etc. I'd love to continue the group this time around too!

I totally agree just being a little weirded out with posting photos on a public forum, although I love sharing them normally! It's really fun seeing everyone else's photos and ultrasounds, etc. 

katiekins029

I’m totally late to join in here, but I’d definitely be up for a private group! TB, FB, or otherwise. It’s really helpful to read/chat with other moms in similar stages of pregnancy, so I’m sure it would be nice moving forward to birth and infancy.

mcclanna

So….when/how do we do the thing?

bows22

@mcclanna I don’t really know! I think we need to message TB and they set it up. I’ve been in a covid blur but I think I’m finally emerging so I can do it unless anyone has any objections? We will need some other admin too, I’ve seen 3 and 5 as being a good number to have. 

krysnicole1022

I'm happy to be one of the admins if necessary. 

sandy5693

Same here. 

bows22

@krysnicole1022 @sandy5693 sent you a PM

shortstack930

Thank you guys for getting this going!

bows22

Okay I think I sent everyone an invite who commented here! I think you may have to go to your inbox on the desktop version of the website to see it. If someone finds it and wants to post here how they got to it, that would be great!

once you’re in, check out the “proof pics” thread!

mcclanna

If anyone figures out a way to do this on the app, please let me know! I went to my inbox and saw no messages (on the app). 

bows22

@mcclanna I joined a PG back in Feb, and I’m almost positive I had to go to the TB website in the browser, request the desktop version of the website, and it was in my inbox there. 

If you can get to the “groups” section of the community page, if you can see the group (I just called it October 22) I think you can get in that way too, but I don’t think the groups were showing up for @krysnicole1022 on the app. 

krysnicole1022

Groups did not show up. I had to go to desktop.