Private Migration

jackie_dunny

Hi guys! A little discussion has begun about where and when we want to move to something more private. I’ve put out some options below but let us know if you prefer something else! 

kim1228

I'm not on FB lol but I'll miss y'all if you head that way! 

mayoduck

My first BMB ended up splitting into both a private BMB and a Facebook with some people in both so that's a possibility too depending on how the numbers shake out. Although we did end up having a pooping stretch of time where The Bump community wasn't working at all for a lot of us that caused the Private BMB to move to another platform.

doodleoodle

I know I’m like, never on anymore because moving cross country is hard, but I’m not on FB. I’ll also miss y’all if you end up going that way. @mayoduck lol at pooping stretch

mayoduck

@doodleoodle sigh autocorrect lol. Loooong stretch. Although with the babies, a pooping stretch was likely too 😂

jenharvey84

I have facebook but it is not my favourite platform - I am really open to whatever works for anyone else. I know that's not helpful

jackie_dunny

We somehow have 17 votes, is there even 17 of us that participate on this board? 

sliztee

The only reason I have Facebook is for my first BMB group (I have no friends and deleted everything on my page, and you can’t find me at all by searching). I guess I’d be inclined to do the group on FB, but I gotta be real with y’all, my BMB in 2018 was/is much tighter than this one. Not sure if it’s just me being pregnant a second time or what, but it feels much different. 

mayoduck

@slitzee Not sure if this matches with your experience but I have found a lot of closeness/tightness develops after the move when it's a smaller group and people feel more comfortable getting more personal. I think the fact that our group is already smaller may make that more true, but who knows! Appreciate your realness! There are likely others feeling the same.

artsiefartsie

@mayoduck I agree, I’m not comfortable posting too much detail or at least keeping things very vague because we are so public right now. This group started out so incredibly small compared to previous BMBs so I agree that it automatically felt very different, not in a bad way necessarily just different.

I voted for Facebook whenever just because it’s what I use more often and the bump app is awful, but I’m open to moving anywhere more private. I’d prefer sooner rather than later just in the hopes of building closer friendships before the babies are actually here. 

sliztee

@mayoduck Yeah, that might be true for this group, but my first BMB was tight before the transition. Obviously, we're even tighter now.

Starynightsky24

@sliztee I agree. I think it’s the lack of participation 🤷‍♀️. But I’ve said that before and I know many disagree. 

artsiefartsie

@Starynightsky24 I agree with the lack of participation. I think that’s why I’d like to move to a private whatever soon, to see if the lack of participation is just because of a lack of privacy or maybe we are all just a bunch of introverts 🤣. 

The lack of privacy is it for me, right about the time I start feeling more comfortable a random/new person pops up and I clam up a bit 

marbellie

Yeah activity seems to be pretty low, my old BMB definitely had more chit chat and back and forth in the threads (like randoms, etc). From what I've seen, you all seem funny and nice though so I'm hoping on a private setting we can get closer... Nothing like messaging in the group and having random 3am chats because all of our newborns decided to be party animals 😅😅

marbellie

Speaking of private though, I also am not keen on letting just anyone join given the nature. What are your thoughts on vetting parameters?

mayoduck

@marbellie This was a divisive point for my last BMB, but I think a baseline of participation is a must. It's fine for people to read and never post anything in the public forum, but it defeats the point of moving to a private format, in my humble opinion. If reading and not posting is your thing, there are plenty of other open online communities for that.

kim1228

Yah I agree...it seems with each pregnancy,  the board I am on is less and less active. But...that could be on me. Pregnant with my first, I was sitting in an office all day, half working half on here lol! Now I just have less and less time to chat as a SAHM to 3 littles...feeds into the problem of being less active? 

artsiefartsie

A previous board had everyone comment on a specific post saying they wanted to join and everyone could like the comments  and “vote” if they felt like each person was active enough to join 🤷‍♀️ It is definitely a blunt option, but it worked surprisingly well and without hurting anyone’s feelings. 

jackie_dunny

@artsiefartsie I’ve seen other BMBs do this and I think it’s a totally fair way to do it. Especially because I feel like there are the regulars and then there are those that occasionally pop in in but don’t really contribute to the conversation or anything, just fill out the prompts and move on and appear again a few weeks later lol 

maybe we can move to a private group now/sometime next week and then if we’re feeling more comfortable move to Facebook? I just don’t want to lose people who aren’t going to move to Facebook

artsiefartsie

@jackie_dunny I love that idea, I also don’t want to lose anyone moving to Facebook. ❤️

marbellie

@jackie_dunny I'm pro that approach too 🙋🏾‍♀️ 

jenharvey84

Yes, I love this approach! This is my first pregnancy community so I really have nothing to compare it too, but I must say the bump app on Android is not the best, so it prevents me from posting as often as I'd like. Using my laptop is much easier!!! I definitely don't want to lose touch with all you lovely people, you've been so wonderful to this new, scared mumma! 

chartput

I'm pro this idea too. I think part of the problem with the bump app is when anyone "tags" you to respond to your post, you don't get any notification. Maybe it's just me. So you have to read through the posts before you find out someone responded to your post, which is fine. But sometimes I get busy and can't read through all the posts. So if I ever haven't responded to someone, I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be rude.

freakymagoo

@chartput the same for me, and then I just forget to come over here. There’s a pretty active November Reddit board, so I check that one and then forget to come over here. 

mayoduck

@chartput on desktop it shows a notification but yeah I use mobile more often so the notifications are usually old the times I go check on desktop. Mobile notifications should be easy!

kim1228

I like it 👍🏻

RoseShadow873

I said facebook after babies since that what I did before.

gingerale87

I am not on FB and haven't been for about 5 years but I am open to seeing what you all decide to do.  As a FTM, I appreciate alot of the blunt honesty you all have shared about the highs and lows of being pregnant, raising kids, etc so I will be watching to see where we transition.

eggsandwich2019

Chiming in late, but with my last BMB we first went to a private bump group and then decided to move to fb after awhile. Two of us were not on fb and we both invented profiles (like, with new email addresses so we wouldn't get people we knew suggested to us as friends) in order to keep up with our BMB. because we had shared info on the private group people weren't sketched out by this (if I gave you my name y'all could google me, I have a pretty big online footprint lol), and it allowed us to be a on a platform that is much easier to use. Just throwing this out as another suggestion for those who aren't on fb but want to keep up if that's the direction the group goes in eventually. 

jenniferjoy37

I’m sad to hear so many of you aren’t on FB! I just find that platform easier to use for sure. Like @chartput said, if you’re tagged, there’s no notifications on here… it is hard to follow, IMO. Maybe I’m using the mobile app and it’s easier on a computer… who knows… 

gingerale87

FB is a super easy platform and I do miss the ease and old friends but I don't miss the stupid, lol

freakymagoo

gingerale87 said:

FB is a super easy platform and I do miss the ease and old friends but I don't miss the stupid, lol

This is how I feel. And I’d find my blood pressure just rising reading so many things that just made me mad!

sliztee

freakymagoo said:

gingerale87 said:

FB is a super easy platform and I do miss the ease and old friends but I don't miss the stupid, lol

This is how I feel. And I’d find my blood pressure just rising reading so many things that just made me mad!

Yep! I deleted everyone and everything except my 2018 BMB group (I actually left FB entirely for a month or two prior to the election) last fall and haven’t missed it one bit. Though, I do have Instagram, so who knows if I did myself any good or not? 🤷🏼‍♀️

eggsandwich2019

@gingerale87 @freakymagoo this is the joy of creating a fake profile! You literally only get content from the BMB, no stress I quit fb early in my first pregnancy to minimize stress and don't regret it for 1 second, but I love being able to easily connect with my F19 mamas! 

marbellie

Ahh finally I'm in the private group!! I'm gonna start accepting people that met the criteria, so please go ahead and request. If you're on mobile or laptop, basically you need to go to Community -> Groups and click join on "Nov21 Moms"

I'm going to post the proof of life tribute thread. Please go there and upload your proof as soon as you can, but in no event longer than.... Let's say a week from admission.

jackie_dunny

@marbellie it says I’m a member but I’m not seeing any posts? Am I doing something wrong? I’m currently on the app

artsiefartsie

@jackie_dunny I’m having the same issue.

kim1228

Ok I requested! 

marbellie

@artsiefartsie @jackie_dunny I know I can't see posts either and I've tried creating the proof one twice (if you look at the group in the general list it says that there are 2 posts up but neither show up). Lord give me strength to deal with the terribleness that is TB ☠️

eggsandwich2019

@marbellie have sent my request! TB is so clunky and annoying to deal with, thanks for setting this up!

jenharvey84

Okay I've requested to join! Thanks for setting this up! 💗💗💗