August 2022 Moms

Venting Thread

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Re: Venting Thread

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  • @Katek819 +1 for concentration straight in the toilet. I was so proud of myself for actually getting work one today, even if it was mostly assisting OP.
  • darkrose88darkrose88 member
    edited January 2022
    My vent for the day - being a working mom is so f*ing hard sometimes. I just had to tell DS I couldn't go with him and DH to DS's speech therapy session because I have to catch up on work. I feel so bad because usually I can attend but I'm behind on hours worked and can't justify taking time off early. I feel like I'm constantly disappointing my son (aka can't drop him off/pick him up from school; can't play with him because I'm stepping outside of the home office to use the bathroom in-between meetings; etc.). It makes me feel like the worst & pregnancy hormones are making me all teary eyed over this. 
  • Oh man @darkrose88 that’s so hard 😭 I work outside the home so I can’t totally relate, but I do know it’s so hard being a working mom! No real advice, just solidarity ✊🏼
  • @darkrose88 I know just how you feel. I try to remind myself that it’s quality of time vs. quantity, so I try to be as present as possible when I am with her, and keep the quality of our time together as high as possible. I’m the breadwinner in my family so the extra pressure is on. I’m always afraid of what will happen if I lose my job and I am also always afraid of working too much! It’s impossible to win.
  • @darkrose88 ugh that's so hard. I'm sorry. I don't wfh so I don't totally get it but I can imagine it's very hard. I feel so guilty when I do house work and what not on my day off. I really need to be better about playing with my kids. Blah. Working mom is so hard truly
  • @darkrose88 I feel you. There’s never enough mom to go around. 
  • Thank you all for the support. I was definitely feeling major guilt and made sure DS and I had extra quality play time together after I finished up work & he got home from speech therapy.

    @buffythevampireslayer I'm also the breadwinner of my family, so I 100% get the extra pressure & agree it feels impossible to win. 
  • I feel like covid is closing in on me. my father in law, sister and neighbor all have it right now. Ultrasound tomorrow, excited, nervous, will be solo thanks to this lovely pandemic. 

  • @ced45 I feel you with all of that. I found out today that it is "strongly preferred" that my husband doesn't come with me to my first appointment, so I guess I'm going solo. And the supply chain situation is so frustrating. It sucks to have to choose between not eating what I'm craving and dragging my tired body to 3 different stores just to find strawberry yogurt.
  • Ah, yea. I go alone to all my appointments because my husband works from home and has to be there with our 3 year old. Hopefully we can find a way for him to come to the gender scan in February.
  • We had the same thing happen this week at my OB's office. Only the patient (and their moms if they're minors) are allowed in, even the waiting room. DH was at work when I had my US last night so that's fine. But in 2 weeks when we both have to get bloodwork done, he can only come in for the bloodwork and then has to wait in the car. What the heck?! 

    I also just got put on his health insurance this week, so I'm sure that's going to be a pain in the butt with switching things up. I know my business manager at my school is slow at changing paperwork so I'm going to call him first thing in the morning. My class is going to have to wait a few minutes lol
  • @Katek819 sending you good vibes youre spared from getting sick!! That would just be the straw that broke the camel's back for me at this point.

    @jenkm1110 isnt it WILD you cant find strawberry yogurt?? I was looking for frozen peas and carrots... we're not talking anything out of the ordinary or super rare. Im not even picky on brand, there's just NOTHING! This is just crazy to me!!! 

    @bridgiebee82 that is equally crazy they will make him wait in the car after he's already been in... like, if he were sick/spreading something the damage would have already been done when he was getting his bloodwork. That makes me so sad for you :( and insurance sucks. Thats all i have to say about that lol 
  • I am SO disappointed. I had my dating ultrasound scheduled for today at 4pm. A VERY new gal checked me in and assured me I was good to go.  After sitting in the waiting room until 4:30, I went back to the desk to see why the delay. Turns out, she didn't fully complete the check in process! By that time, the ultrasound tech had gone home for the day, and I had to be rescheduled for Friday. I cried right there in the office. I have been anxiously awaiting this u/s. This is a PGAL situation, and I just want to know everything is ok.
  • @malloryfrommn I’m so sorry this happened to you. I can imagine how crushing that had to be. I KNOW how important US are and how reassuring they can be. Friday seems like an eternity away. I’ll be thinking about you and babe 
  • @malloryfrommn That’s just terrible. I would have cried too. I’ll be thinking of you on Friday. 
  • Aw man @malloryfrommn I’m really sorry that happened, I would have been so upset too 😥
    Me: 35  H: 35
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022 
  • @malloryfrommn so sorry that happened. I hope tomorrow flies by. I would be very upset too, especially after a loss.
    Pregnancy Ticker

    5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
  • @malloryfrommn oh my goodness, how unbelievably frustrating. It might be spiteful but I hope the front desk person felt terrible. That's just unacceptable. :( Luckily Friday isn't far away and it'll be here before you know it. 
  • @mangoandguava that simply saline is a godsend! I love it! But I was also questioning using it. 
  • I’ve been so nauseous, if I move I get sick. I’ve tried everything, goner everything, Peggie pops, tea, sweets, you name it. Nothing helps. I get it’s part of the process and at 8:9 weeks this is the peak. Only a few people know that I’m pregnant (our choice) and I know they mean well, but I get tired of hearing “it gets better” or “try ginger and eating small”. You think i haven’t tried that? And i know it gets better, but that’s doesn’t make the next few weeks go by any faster. Plus I’m basically useless until lunch time when the nausea starts to calm down so then I’m rushing in the afternoon to get caught up on work. I guess this venting is just me being annoyed by being told “ it gets better” constantly. Although some random person online told me I needed to toughen up and deal with it. So of course that got me really upset thinking I’m already doing a terrible job at my first pregnancy. And what if it doesn’t get better? What if I’m nauseous my whole pregnancy?
  • @improbablyanxious nausea sucks but you’re doing great - don’t let that person saying to suck it up bother you. Unfortunately there is no way to know if you will be nauseous the whole pregnancy. Have you tried taking unisom and B6? That is the only thing making me functional. There are also other prescription options if the nausea is having too much of a negative impact on your life which is totally valid. 
  • @improbablyanxious I second the b6 and unisom - it's the only thing that helped for me! I'm so sorry you are struggling. IT. IS. ROUGH. Don't let anyone tell you to suck it up. For a lot of us it's survival mode during these early, nauseous days. Go easy as you tackle your to do list, do the bare minimum housework, order meals instead of cooking, rest often. And don't feel guilty for any of it! You will come out the other side and feel better eventually. Until then, hang in there and know that this community is here to support you ❤ 
  • @improbablyanxious I'm almost 11 weeks and still nauseous all day, every day. With my first two pregnancies, it did magically get better one week in the second trimester. Cravings started and I'd only get nauseous at night sometimes. Mid-day was best for eating and I'd EAT. lol. But yes, nausea gets really old, really fast. I'm SO over it and I really hope it does end soon. Not sure how you're supposed to "toughen up" and "get over" nausea? That's obnoxious. And you're doing fine! Fluids, any food, and you're fine. Soooo many women barely eat during the first trimester and baby gets everything it needs despite it. Don't fret, just take care of yourself.
  • @malloryfrommn wow. That’s a nice apology. I hope it makes your feel better and guess what tomorrow finally is! Friday! Wishing you the best appointment ever 
  • @malloryfrommn aw that was really sweet of her, poor girl probably felt so terrible 
    Me: 35  H: 35
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022 
  • @mangoandguava
    not sure about Wellbutrin but I’m on cymalta and will not be stopping. I took it during my last pregnancy and it was fine. There is a small risk but not as big as me going off my depression and anxiety meds. Maybe it’s the same for you? 

    I felt guilty at first but considering i could hardly take care of myself without it let alone a baby. 
  • @improbablyanxious First, you are a ROCKSTAR!!!! 💕 Second I feel like you are describing EXACTLY how I’ve been feeling, so you are not alone!!☀️ And it’s my first baby too, so we can figure this out together. 😊 I had been nauseous in waves since the beginning and almost constantly towards the end of week 5. At 6 weeks 4 days, I started emptying my tummy daily and at 7 weeks 1 day I couldn’t keep anything down and I was crying because I felt so low and weak and helpless. I was so *prepared* for the nausea, I thought. Ha. B6 didn’t help, Nausea Bands didn’t help, a few plain crackers came back up every time. My ginger tummy drops were nice the first week of knowing but now I associate “ginger” with “nausea” and can’t handle smelling them. Tic Tacs and mints to freshen my breath wouldn’t always stay down either. Moving slow didn’t prevent the inevitable. All this to say I HEAR YOU!! I called my Dr on 7 Weeks 1 day (Jan 13th,) when I couldn’t keep anything down and they gave me Zofran. It has helped quite a bit the last few days, but even then I “got sick” once today and still felt nauseous for a chunk of the day. I have noticed that nights lacking sleep are worse the next day, but I don’t know if it’s really a factor. Unkind people don’t deserve space in your head. All we can do is find anything we can to help relieve symptoms for a bit and take a day at a time. YOU ARE ALREADY A GOOD MOM FOR THIS PRECIOUS LITTLE ONE. (Who we are already making a sacrifice of comfort for.) Breathe, Lovely, and take care of yourself as best as you can!💕
  • In relation to the “rules” debate thread, I wanted to contribute and hide at the same time.🙈 I read comments through the first day, but felt like it was going in circles and I didn’t need to fuel anyone. When I saw the comments doubled today, I chose less stress and to not open it. I’m trying to choose what impacts me and keep it pretty light, because honestly I don’t physically feel great and so I want a good mentality. I felt like my perspective could help someone else move past it, and for sure myself, so here’s a 1am brain dump. 😂 I would put this in random, since it was brought up there, but the conversation had moved on some.. (Yay!) So here’s my 2¢ without the intention of making it drag on either: 

    1. We all have extra pregnancy hormones right now, so we all need support, not drama. 

    2. We all would have a different style of of organization if we were running it. But alas, it’s a group that has existed in similar forms a long time and there are other options. 

    3. Calling out names in any direction is not productive, it’s aggressive. DMing someone to discuss how they felt about an interaction would be more appropriate. “Who are Admin?” would be a way to get straight to the answers without making people feel bad.  

    4. It’s important to be a part in supporting others if we want to make any adaptations. It wouldn’t have been right for me to knowingly start threads that fit into other categories or weren’t inclusive of everyone. 

    “Do Post a thread that would apply to the entire community and doesn't fall into one of the categories for daily threads listed below…” 

    This leaves a little room for interpretation of what could be started, but is important for anyone starting a thread to follow. 

    5. RESPECT. We can Kindly disagree and leave it at that. Some threads I don’t find as helpful as others, but that’s individual preference. And I know I can share ones I’d like to see. 

    6. The majority of thread comments should make us feel supported and less alone. We should feel like we can be a part and make sure others feel that. 

    7. We should find common ground. If we all met in real life, some of us would make the best of friends and others possibly would get on nerves. Our common ground is pregnancy. What else? That’s what we should be focused on. 

  • @Katek819 I'm so sorry you're struggling. I don't blame you one bit for feeling this way. I'm so glad you are taking steps to bring yourself a little sanity. Take care of yourself!
  • bridgiebee82bridgiebee82 member
    edited January 2022
    @meagan-firsttimemommy8-22 thanks for sharing what you feel. It was a rough go and I agree--our hormones are super outrageous. I know I could have reacted a little differently, in hindsight, but it is what it is. 

    I'm so sorry you're feeling nauseated all the time. I asked my friend about it, and she said to curb nighttime nausea, she always ate a banana before bed and it helped. I hope you're feeling better soon.
  • @Katek819 I was/am in a similar position being in NY and how we had an absurd amount of cases. I went back to March 2020 mindset. Not leaving unless I have to, no play dates. COVID related anxiety and depression is a real thing. Do whatever you have to, taking care of you and baby is #1
  • Ugh here's my vent today... it's about the pharmacy yesterday. DH's flex pay won't cover vitamins unless they're a prescription. I went to my OB on Monday and he wrote me a prescription, submitted it electronically, and I got a text from CVS saying they were working on it. I went to the pharmacy yesterday to pick up, and the pharmacist looked at me like I had 3 heads when I asked for it. He said they ran out of stock and it should be in by Monday. Ummm, that would have been nice to know! I'm so frustrated. Thankfully my OB had given me a bunch of samples, but I think it's just so ridiculous that this kind of thing happens at my pharmacy all the time. 
  • @bridgiebee82 that stuff annoys me - I had them tell me one time I would have to wait 1-2 days for an antibiotic for my daughter… uh, no. You have a lovely computer system in front of you CVS, tell me which is the closest store that has stock you can xfer the Rx to. I can’t wait a day or two to get my sick kid medicine!
  • @anniemarie887 it's obnoxious. My sister had a similar problem with the same CVS for blood pressure meds. She stood there until they called and transferred it to another local CVS. I'd love to use our small town pharmacy, but they're not set up to use flex pay yet. 
  • @bridgiebee82 Thank you! And we can’t dwell on the past. There’s too much future to enjoy! 

    Thank you about the banana tip! I wonder if it’s the potassium, because I can’t say I enjoy bananas a lot or anything right now, but watermelon is high in potassium, so maybe that could help too and it sounds maybe kinda sorta good!😅

    I’m sorry about the issue at the pharmacy! I hope your samples get you through! When I started Zofran last week, my doctor called it in at 2 pm and my husband got there around 5:30-6 and he had to stand there for 30 minutes while they got it ready. And the crazy thing is that it wasn’t an orange bottle. Just 4 prepackaged boxes taped together!? I know I haven’t been a pharmacist, but it shouldn’t be too hard to put 4 ready boxed pills in a bag! 🤦🏼‍♀️
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