*TW Loss* — The Bump
April 2022 Moms

*TW Loss*

Hey all, I've been off the board for a bit because...life, but 2 weeks ago we went for a visit and couldn't find baby on the Doppler.  We were sent for an ultrasound and found that baby had passed away at right around 13 weeks.  And had our D&E last week.

We decided to name the baby Phoenix as we liked the imagery of resurrection/ soaring high.  I'm still making a blanket as it's the first thing I've done after naming each of our children and it just seems right. We also chose a necklace of a Phoenix for myself and my girls to remember that our baby is risen and safe in the arms of Jesus and will probably choose some type of token for my 4 yo son to wear or carry as well.  There have been heartbreaking and beautiful moments with each of our children throughout.

In and of myself, I am not coping well. I have recurrent major depressive episodes and was already in a trough when all this happened. Now I feel guilty for not being able to fully enjoy my baby during what I didn't know would be my last weeks with them.😭
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