Hey all, I've been off the board for a bit because...life, but 2 weeks ago we went for a visit and couldn't find baby on the Doppler. We were sent for an ultrasound and found that baby had passed away at right around 13 weeks. And had our D&E last week.
We decided to name the baby Phoenix as we liked the imagery of resurrection/ soaring high. I'm still making a blanket as it's the first thing I've done after naming each of our children and it just seems right. We also chose a necklace of a Phoenix for myself and my girls to remember that our baby is risen and safe in the arms of Jesus and will probably choose some type of token for my 4 yo son to wear or carry as well. There have been heartbreaking and beautiful moments with each of our children throughout.
In and of myself, I am not coping well. I have recurrent major depressive episodes and was already in a trough when all this happened. Now I feel guilty for not being able to fully enjoy my baby during what I didn't know would be my last weeks with them.😭