IF Testing & Treatment w/o 4.19

keikilove

*Reposting from Sunday because we all could use a laugh to keep from crying.😉😭

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have started infertility testing and/or treatments. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on infertility. TTC can be a long journey naturally, then add in the difficulties associated with infertility, and it becomes a whole new ball game. The road to infertility can be lonely, frustrating, and complicated, so let's make this a place where we can vent, ask questions, and support one another. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this as an ongoing conversation.

Diagnosis (if you've been):  

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?):  

How are things going?:  

Any questions?:

GTKY: Who is your hero/idol/crush that you’d love to meet in real life? 

photographerwife

Diagnosis (if you've been):  secondary infertility, one Fallopian tube 

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  tww, maybe? I didn’t track at all this cycle and went off of previous cycles/how I’m feeling. 

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?):  Nothing special. Our first appt with our RE is on the 28th and I’m so anxious. 

How are things going?:  good, ive just been keeping myself busy around here doing spring projects and cleaning. I took a short hike yesterday with my best friend and it was so nice! I’m trying to get better about taking my supplements, I even bought one of those weekly organizer things and am still bad with it. I hate taking pills. So much. And my prenatal gags me every time 🙃 I just need a good gummy I guess... but things are fine, I’m just lurking here and spending my downtime listening to IF podcasts. 

Any questions?: since it’s National infertility awareness week, I’m wondering how many of you, if any, share your fertility journey on social media? We don’t. Ive considered starting an Instagram, but I don’t want my family and people close to me constantly asking questions. I’d be much happier if I could contain the audience to strangers. 😂

GTKY: Who is your hero/idol/crush that you’d love to meet in real life? Not too interested in meeting celebrities or crushes, but I’d love to pick a couple of favorites authors brains. 

Hope you guys have a good week! I haven’t been posting much, but I’m here lurking and supporting all of you! 

bumblebee0210

@photographerwife. I am not on social media, but I do try to be open about our struggles, especially with young-ish people who have not started trying for a family yet. I just want to be a resource for other women if they go through similar issues, and also to normalize mc, if, etc. 

Diagnosis (if you've been):  RPL, DOR

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  WTO (Stims)

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): ER #2

How are things going?:  Ok. My appointment this morning was pretty disappointing. My 8 measurable follicles all grew, but not very much-- I still have only 1 above 15, and my estradiol did not even double from 2 days ago (and I was already running behind the curve). I had such high hopes for this cycle after the last visit because it was around stim days 10-12 last cycle that all of the littles started popping up and I went from 4 measurable follicles to 8, and my estradiol really jumped. Today was stim day 11 and I was hoping to go in and see 12 measurable follicles and a much higher E2. They may up my dosage again, but I'm pretty close to maxing out on stims (400 Follistim, 75 Menopur). Sigh-- I don't think it will be a total bust, but I had let myself hope that this cycle would have more eggs, more blasts, more progress, but now I'm thinking last cycle may be the best case scenario...

I know that I can do this 6 or 7 or 8 times if I need to. I know that sounds extreme, but in the context of achieving our desired family size, it is worth it to me, and I am fortunate to have the option to actually do as many as it takes. And I also know it's ok if we never get to 5 or 6 normal embryos, I would be so very happy to have one healthy child come out of this. But the idea of getting 3 or 4 normal embryos from one cycle is so... seductive? Is that the right word? Anyway, TL;DR, I got out over my skis and thought I was going to have more eggs than last time, and likely I will not, which is a bummer, but also fine. 

Any questions?: Nope

GTKY: Who is your hero/idol/crush that you’d love to meet in real life? I honestly have no idea. 

kiwi2628

Diagnosis (if you've been):  unexplained/ husband has had a vasectomy

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  WFAF

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?):  

Nada. Just waiting. 

How are things going?:  

Going well. Just waiting for AF but I’m now a day ‘late’ with BFN (not surprising- DH had a vasectomy 9 weeks ago so not really trying) so that’s annoying. 

Any questions?:

GTKY: Who is your hero/idol/crush that you’d love to meet in real life? 

Ryan Reynolds. I adore him

Lisa3379

That picture is too funny. 

Diagnosis (if you've been):  unexplained/old

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  I suppose technically TWW?

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?):  Today is my transfer day! I'm totally freaked out about parking in the city and having a massively full bladder. But otherwise, I'm shot out a cannon over this. 

How are things going?:  Great! My lining is a little over 11mm and my blood work looks good - no alteration to the meds plan. I'm starting baby aspirin today, so I gotta make sure we have some. I'm leaving today at 1:30pt, so until then, I'll be cleaning bathrooms and tidying the house. Weeee! 

Any questions?: nope

GTKY: Who is your hero/idol/crush that you’d love to meet in real life? I can only think of a couple: Billy Corgan from Smashing Pumpkins, only because they influenced me so much when I was a kid and that led to some really awesome opportunities and experiences. Howard Stern - I don't idolize him or think he's a hero, but he's just made me laugh SO HARD for the past 13 years or so. Oh, just thought of another one. I've already met him, but it was like a 10 second meeting - Pete Buttigieg. I volunteered for about a year during his presidential campaign, and I just think he's absolutely brilliant. I want to actually have a conversation with him. 

kiki047

Will come back later for tags and my update but just wanted to pop in to wish @lisa3379 luck with your transfer!!! Definitely good luck with the parking situation and the full bladder. If yours is anything like any of my transfers have been, there's always a wait so I drink most of my water on the drive in and then let my bladder fill up in the waiting room. There was one time that there was a 45 min delay and I had to "let a little out" twice while I was waiting or I legit would have wet myself. 

acleverusername

@Lisa3379 Yay for transfer day! It's finally here! Good luck on all fronts (parking and the actual transfer)!!! 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🍍🍍🍍

keikilove

@lisa3379 Wishing you luck and sending all glittery good vibes for your transfer today! 

optimistgardener

@Lisa3379 good luck with the transfer! and that bladder... oof.

keikilove

Alrighty, friends, if you want to go down a rabbit hole this week, have I got the link for you!! 😄 It’s related to that vitamin sheet I’ve posted before. 

There is an amazing woman online (ISWTE FB group) who has compiled a TON of resources and info on what she did to accidentally conceive naturally before her frozen transfer. She posts the link to her Google file frequently and gives permission to share it. Be sure to save the file so you can explore ALL the tabs. Happy exploring! 

She says she did no prep for her first retrieval and had no normal embryos. Then she and hubby did the below for 6 months and got perfect fertilization rates & perfectly normal embryos. Then they conceived before transfer despite her being 40. 

“This is my google drive with all the information and research in it if you have any questions about what I did!  Open it up on your laptop and hit "SAVE A COPY"”

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1rbr7ewAHw7rgIEbNGntb2ES_bRCLdlCK

acleverusername

@keikilove OMG - she's in the Bay Area; I've seen her posting to the local IVF/Infertility Facebook Group. Cool! Thanks for sharing. 

optimistgardener

Diagnosis (if you've been):  DOR, single, old ovary, etc.

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  waiting for my IVF calendar to kick in

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?):  still taking bcps and mountains of supplements

How are things going?:  Still hating the bcps but it's only for another week or so, and then I've got, overlapping to some extent, a week of doxycycline for some reason before the real fun kicks in. I'm having some real guilt/panic right now about my consumption choices in the past few weeks. Last night I read a handful of articles about studies that have found that drinking alcohol in the month prior to an IVF cycle even in moderate amounts lowers success rates significantly. Somehow I hadn't seen that research before, and so... I've been treating the past few weeks like I might treat any run-up to a cycle, alcohol-wise. Not drinking to excess, but having a small glass of beer with dinner maybe a couple of times a week. My mom had great news from her most recent CT scan last week and so we celebrated with an (outdoor) visit to a favorite bar that none of us have been to since the pandemic began and I had a full pint, which felt super worth it at the time. Anyway, now I feel like I've ruined my chances before the cycle has even begun, ugh, and I wish the clinic would have armed me with this information.

Also I organized my payment for this cyle yesterday and so @keikilove 's opener for this week is tragi-comically well-timed. between taxes and infertility expenses my bank account feels... so much lighter, but in a bad way.

Any questions?: why is infertility such a minefield of guilt and self doubt. this isn't really a question.

GTKY: Who is your hero/idol/crush that you’d love to meet in real life? This is irreparably nerdy of me but when I was a phd student I got to meet many of my academic idols/crushes at conferences and such. One of my greatest moments was winding up as a research assistant to a woman whose work I'd read and totally fan-girled about as an undergraduate. Eventually she even joined my dissertation committee!

I'm afraid, uh, that I don't have many heroes/crushes outside of academia, though. And apart from the woman I mentioned above, who was/is a sweetie, some of my other academic crushes turned out to be real jerks, which was a let down.

bumblebee0210

@keikilove. Thanks for sharing! This is... a lot. 

I just have to put my economist/statistician hat on for a second with a word of warning:

I would be really wary of anecdotes like this, and over-interpreting from one person's experience, for a few reasons. 

First and foremost, health/body things in general, and fertility especially is dominated by a lot of randomness. People who got pregnant when they were doing everything *right* will tell you "follow my regime to the letter! it worked!" People who got pregnant when they were doing everything *wrong* will say "you just have to relax! That's what worked for me". In fact, for most people it's truly a pretty random process (with the exception of actual medical intervention, and even sometimes then!), and they just happened to get pregnant the month they did keto or took CoQ10 or whatever. There are some promising actual RCTs on some of these supplements-- particularly CoQ10 and antioxidants, but the results are typically pretty modest. [Also, relevant to this woman in particular, it's well known that people are more fertile after ER, and she had already gotten pregnant naturally at 40]

I think generally, as humans, we like for there to be a cause and effect, and a sort of narrative about *why* things went the way they did. But a lot of the time there is no why, or we don't know. I think much of this is seductive because it gives us the illusion of control, when in reality we don't really have much.

You might say "What's the harm?" and I agree I think for most of these things individually, there is likely no harm and some potential benefit-- I have switched to glass containers, take a fist full of supplements each day, and enjoyed acupuncture before the 'demic. I just worry that things like this can be more anxiety provoking than helpful when they involve hundreds of dollars of supplements, really extreme diets, and an enormous amount of time and energy spent on trying to "do everything right". 

To be clear-- keikilove, I am glad you shared! I don't mean this to be a screed against sharing info. I just wouldn't want a newbie reading this and thinking "I am never going to get pregnant unless I completely upend my life" and I just don't think that's right. 

We've had plenty of people on this board who did everything right, and had failed cycles, and plenty of people who did no prep and got 5 normal embryos at age 39! I think it's helpful to acknowledge that we don't always have control about how these things turn out.

optimistgardener

@bumblebee0210 Thanks for what you just said there. I know it wasn't intended as a reply to my freakout post that I think I typed up approximately at the same time, but it nevertheless serves well and is a great reminder that much of this is not actually in our hands, and it is not very useful to beat ourselves up if we haven't done everything exactly "right."

Lisa3379

@bumblebee0210 For some reason I didn't see your initial post. Just wanted to say I'm sorry you're disappointed this cycle, but I'll be keeping all my fingers crossed for a late ovarian rally for you. And do as many cycles as you want to! I would absolutely do the same. 

@photographerwife I don't post about it on social media (I don't share a lot there anyway), but I've spoken with my friends about it. I think that maybe if we're successful, I'll post on social media about it. I'm all about openness and awareness, but I'm also a little superstitious. 

@optimistgardener Try to not be too hard on yourself. I feel like warnings like that are pretty far to the extreme, like, if you drink every day or if you binge here and there, but then they have blanket recommendations like "refrain from drinking period" just to be super safe. At least that's what I tell myself. 

AFM, transfer yesterday went well. I got there way too early because I got restless hanging out at home. My appointment was at 3, and the transfer didn't happen until 3:30. I had to pee so bad, I was in AGONY. But the transfer lasted maybe 5 minutes? So fast. Then you start thinking about the money you're spending per minute of procedure, haha. Anyway. 8 more days to go, haha!

[Deleted User]

@bumblebee0210
<img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/iq/zyjruhrl4pdh.gif" alt="">
<div class=" Spoiler">My doctor is big on, "just take your meds as prescribed and show up," kind of gal.  Anything "harmless" you may want to try if it makes you happy, go for it.  But I agree it's an easy emotional trap to fall into, that somehow if it fails, it's because we didn't drink enough pom juice, or if it works, to say, see!??  It's the BEETS! 😜 when really, imho, it's important not to beat ourselves up or fall into superstition, because neither is helpful or particularly healthy.

My personal experience has been that I had my cycles not work out of the gate, but then by the time battle fatigue wore in.... suddenly, the magic happened. 🤷 So I try to temper those feelings of, "yes, I'm doing all the things right!" with that loving reminder that you can do practically everything "wrong," and have it still work out, too. ❤️</div>

keikilove

@bumblebee0210 I hear you. However, I may have just intro-ed her link in the wrong way. I’m in no way suggesting that if we all do exactly what she did we will get the same result. Basically, most of us have read It Starts With The Egg and tried half the things in her files. I shared because she put everything together in such an organized way. For me it’s very helpful to see things compiled like this instead of trying to take my own notes or remember everything I’ve read from multiple sources. 

I’ve been at this for 2+ years as it relates to IF/some type of immune response to getting pregnant. I’m one of those who’s done everything right and it still hasn’t worked for me. So I am, unfortunately, very familiar with the reality of what you’re saying about things being random and not getting false hope in someone else’s protocol. At the same time, in the past few months I’ve added a few of these supplements/made some more changes and my very low AMH has significantly increased after watching it plummet over the past 2 years. So I’m a believer in the impact these supplements and changes can make, and feel like my bloodwork and AFC are proof of that. 

bumblebee0210

@keikilove.  Fair enough-- also FWIW I have read and liked ISWTE, and I think her round up of the studies is pretty good, but I think her personal story is a little suspect. Like, she was almost certainly misdiagnosed with DOR at baseline. No one with actual DOR has an AFC of 19 from taking supplements-- I am wondering if her AFC was artificially depressed because of BCP, or just weirdly low in her original baseline. (Or she had a fine AFC and like AMH of 0.9 or something and got diagnosed). I just worry that that book too gives women false hope that their AFC is going to jump from 3 to 20 or something. 

bumblebee0210

Also, Update: Good growth today at the US and 2 more measurable follies (10 total), plus actually a lot of littles, which may bode well for next cycle also. But estradiol is still only 1100 and a bunch were in the 10-15 range, so I'm guessing no trigger tonight. @acleverusername if my E2 does not go up soon I might still be on *this* cycle when you start stimming!

optimistgardener

@bumblebee0210 🎉💪🥳 congrats on the good news from the ultrasound today! That's great. I hope your E2 rises soon, and all your "teen-sized" follicles grow up to become big and plump for harvest in short order!

bumblebee0210

JK... trigger tonight. Kind of surprised but tbh I didn’t pay that close attention to how big the smaller follies were— maybe more were 15+ than I thought. Oh well, I try to remember these people do this for a living, glad to be getting the show on the road and happy my beloved doctor is doing the retrieval!

acleverusername

@bumblebee0210 hooray for the good-ish news re: today's ultrasound. I'm kinda surprised that they're triggering you though your E2 is only 1100... But hey, I'm sure they have a good reason to. Also really appreciate your perspective to @keikilove's post. 

I'm gonna lurk / randomly comment here this week; nothing much going on with me and it's gonna be a busy week. 

bumblebee0210

The only reason I can think of is that the embryologist told me that sometimes longer stims lead to lower-quality eggs, and of my 7 retrieved last time (at 13 stim days), only 5 were icsi-able and 3 actually fertilized. Maybe they’re hoping to get more fertilization with a slightly earlier trigger day (12). Anyway fingers crossed.

acleverusername

@bumblebee0210 at the end of the day, prayer / crossing fingers is all that we can control Good luck with ER on Thursday!

@Lisa3379 super happy your transfer went well! Do you think you’ll test at home, or wait for your beta?

kiwi2628

@bumblebee0210 good luck with your trigger! I have also heard that some REs go a bit sooner in order to try to maintain egg quality so I hope it works for you!

laura-kay

@bumblebee0210 Good luck!

Lisa3379

@acleverusername I think I'll just wait for the beta next Wednesday. It's going to be so hard to do that, though! It'll be an interesting test of my willpower, haha. 

bumblebee0210

Thx team. The anticipation is killing me! 

On supplements/diets/all the things: I think I reacted strongly to this because I am a perfectionist/high achiever/anxious type, and I struggle a lot with the right balance between "taking charge of my health/being my own advocate/doing everything I can" and being an anxious wreck who runs in circles trying to follow the (often conflicting!) advice of every possible expert, and blaming myself when things don't work. With IVF, I have made a really conscious effort to pare down on this perfectionism/trying so hard, and really worked on just feeling my feelings (rather than trying to avoid them by doing doing doing), and finding a doctor that I trust and following her advice (which was, by the way "do whatever you need to do to feel good through this process. There is some evidence for CoQ10, I have not seen much evidence in literature or practice for all of the other stuff").  This (along with very good therapy) has helped my mental health a lot. So I just wanted to throw that perspective out there. 

acleverusername

@bumblebee0210 I hope your ER went well today! Awaiting your reply! 

bumblebee0210

It went great— 10 eggs! Just resting now, and tomorrow I’ll get the fertilization report.

optimistgardener

@bumblebee0210 that's great!!! Also I have no life and so i've been haunting the board all day just waiting for your check-in.

(Actually that's not entirely true, I have two big projects on my desk right now and the temptation to loiter on the internet increases in direct relationship to how much I need to get done. But now I really have no excuse, so I better get working.)

Lisa3379

@bumblebee0210 That's awesome!! Rest well  

laura-kay

Diagnosis (if you've been):  Unexplained

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  Cycle Day 1

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?):  Discussion with doctor about next steps

How are things going?: It’s going  

Today I’m wishing that I at least had secondary infertility (or had a previous success with treatment) instead of primary infertility, though preferably no problems at all.  (Not trying to deny anything about or lessen the struggles of secondary infertility - just my honest thoughts for the day).  

Work is busy and definitely keeps me occupied.  

TW - pregnancy

My baby niece as born today!  Beautiful little girl

We do have some cool things going on though - my husband just set up his first two bee hives!  I helped some, though I am somewhat frightened of bees .  We both have bee suits now - and a beautiful hive location out in our woods.

Any questions?: NATM

GTKY: Who is your hero/idol/crush that you’d love to meet in real life? I honestly don’t know lol.  My hero is my grandma (maybe that’s cheesy but she’s the one I’d love to be like some day!)

acleverusername

@bumblebee0210 yay 10 eggs is so good! FX for a positive fertilization report tomorrow. @optimistgardener: I've somewhat been doing the same although I've limited myself to checking for updates during boring meetings.

@laura-kay I am sorry for CD1. 😢I totally get the secondary infertility. Looking forward to hearing what you and your RE decide for next steps. Those beehives look great! I see delicious honey in your future. MH has been suggesting that he wants to have bees whenever we buy a house. My grandfather used to have bee hives when I was a kid and I have some great memories of he and I "watching the bees work" as he explained to me what's what. 

laura-kay

@acleverusername That’s cool about your grandpa!  We visited my grandma recently (she has dementia and is at a nursing home) and I told her about the bees.  She started telling us all about her bee hives which even my dad wasn’t aware of!  We checked with his older siblings - and they confirmed that my grandma and grandpa were also beekeepers

bows22

@photographerwife hi friend! Good luck with your appointment next week! I am not ready to share our struggles on social media. Partially because my mom is not on social media so I feel like I’d have to discuss anything I posted there with her so it’s not like the whole world knows and she doesn’t. But I don’t want to talk about it haha. 

@[email protected] that’s wonderful news about your retrieval! Can’t wait for more updates! 

@[email protected] that is annoying about AF, hopefully it shows up soon 

@[email protected] im so glad your transfer went well! Will be anxiously awaiting your beta next week 👀 👀

@[email protected] im too overwhelmed to even look at the document haha. I will though - thank you!

@[email protected] I originally typed a “I’m sure you are fine” type response to the drinking and realized that meant nothing so I ran your dilemma past a very good TTGP grad friend of mine and she said she saw the same research and thinks you’re still perfectly fine if you stop now. 

@[email protected] response to your spoiler in spoiler

I think those feelings are very valid. Secondary IF is a struggle but it’s not the same struggle. 

bows22

Diagnosis (if you've been): unexplained, AMA, endometrial polyps/thickening 

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Bloodwork and SHG, followed up with RE today 

How are things going?: My RE had to move my appt up to today and it actually went really well! She apologized for how they handled my whole situation the last time I was there and it was just a much better conversation than I’ve ever had. The amazing news is that she thinks that our insurance covers IUI now (DH works for the health system so they have the same “employer”). I just assumed their benefits hadn’t ever changed from when I first checked. She’s going to have their billing department or whoever check and call me. But we are going to do an endometrial biopsy next cycle and then decide from there if we do another hysteroscopy or IUI. Obviously if we have insurance coverage we will just stay there since it’s the only place that accepts it. 

Any questions? So I know this is a taboo topic but she is recommending an unmonitored clomid + IUI cycle (no trigger). This is at a reputable RE office not an OB. I know that we typically say never to do clomid without monitoring but are there exceptions? I’m going to ask more questions about it after the biopsy but just wanted to get my thoughts in line first. Does the dose of clomid make a difference? 

GTKY: Who is your hero/idol/crush that you’d love to meet in real life? Hero/idol - my TTGP friends 🙂 crush - zac efron and DH knows it! 

Edit because I didn’t proofread 

optimistgardener

@laura-kay wow those hives are great! we lease a spot to a local beekeeper here on our farm. Mostly it's wonderful--we get lots of extra "help" in pollination and we sometimes get paid in honey. Occasionally, we have days where we spend a lot of time dodging angry bees (usually after the beekeeper has moved the hives or whatever). Someday I'd love to learn how to work with them!

Also

I really feel ya re: secondary vs primary infertility.

@bows22 Thanks for asking around for me. I definitely haven't had a drink since I read that article. Now it's just a matter of me trying not to engage in too many guilt trip pity parties before my cycle has even started.

AFM, my mom called me today to try to get a sense of my calendar in the next month and change. I guess she and her partner want to plan a visit to come see me and maybe to try to fit in a camping trip or whatever. Rather than try to explain my ridiculous IVF schedule, I just forwarded her the calendar the clinic had sent me. She sent a 2 word reply: "o my." Yup. Please do not try to plan any camping trips around my schedule right now.

acleverusername

@bows22 So so so happy to hear that your appointment went so well, and that it's a much better experience than previously. Oh, and of course that you might have benefits! 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻This is a lot of good news for a Thursday.  FWIW, I never really understood the concern from some folks here for unmonitored Clomid cycles when that protocol is being prescribed by an RE at a reputable fertility clinic (in my case it was at UCSF which is one of the foremost research hospitals in the US). I would say trust your RE. 

bumblebee0210

@acleverusername @optimistgardener OMG I totally get it-- especially since you are both about to start ER cycles, and are similar in the "kind of old, kind of DOR, but maybe not a lost cause?" category. It's the worst because I feel like the confidence interval (sorry! I am a nerd) of what can happen is really wide for our type. I totally stalked @Lisa3379. and actually retroactively stalked @legallykate (hi!)

I'll let you know how the fertilization report goes today, and I will probably just tel them to call me on Wednesday (day 6) with the final blastocyst numbers and grades. 

@bows22. That's so great about your doctor-- it's really nice feeling like they actually have your back. 

@laura-kay *tw lc, mc*

Honestly, primary IF is worse. I did not have do get treatment, but it took a year to get pregnant with my daughter, with one mmc and one CP, and I was at my wit's end by the end of that year. That feeling of "maybe this will never happen" is really powerful, and it's an awful feeling. I'm sorry you're going through this. Even though our secondary IF has been "harder" in a way (worse mc, more treatment), it doesn't have the same desperation as the first time. I think the people who go on and on about secondary infertility being really hard (and to be clear, it also sucks), are the ones who had an easy time the first time around. 

kiki047

@bumblebee0210 that's great about getting 10 eggs! Am hoping so hard for you that you have great fert rates. And thank you for your comment about primary vs secondary IF. As someone who is also at almost 3.5 years of primary IF I feel @laura-kay so deeply. Thank you for acknowledging that feeling of desperation. 
@bows22 As someone who did 6 cycles of unmonitored letrozole, I think it is an entirely different beast when you're actively working with an RE and are fully aware of how your cycle works/the side effects of clomid vs someone who shows up at their OB or GP's offices whining about things "taking too long" and are being given clomid and sent home with virtually no follow up. Not to mention Drs who don't seem to heed the recommendations about lifetime limits of clomid cycles. When I see people who have done a dozen clomid cycles I cringe because that, to me, feels more wildly irresponsible than you using it as it was meant to be used. 

AFM, I never really came back to check in because I've had a crazy work week and my littlest kitty is extremely sick so I've spent most of my week working from the floor while I lie with her (it's the little tabby in my DP). She seems to be rallying a bit so hoping we're out of the woods, FX. 
My mock tsf and endo scratch went ok last week, it hurt more than normal but I think my ute was extra angry because I bled for 14 days instead of my usual 5-6. I had an extra monitoring appt on Tuesday this week just to see what was going on in there and my RE was happy to see that my lining was down to 4mm which hopefully means everything is cleared out and I'm ready to start building it back up again. Tomorrow I start lupron and stop BCP, and stims start Monday! 

My question for the week is a bit of a can of worms so let me preface this with a disclaimer that I am very pro-vaccines and I am not interested in opinions on why I shouldn't get it in general because I AM going to get vaccinated, it's just a matter of when.
Ok, so here goes: Canada is utterly incompetent when it comes to organizing our vaccine supply and distribution so most places here in Ontario aren't even offering it to anyone under the age of 40 yet (and that was only this week they opened it up to under 50). My area was deemed a "hot spot" so the city opened up appointments for ages to 18-49 starting Apr 22nd. I registered 1 minute after the portal opened and was denied, only to be told later that night that they were allocated some extra doses and they gave me an appt on May 9th. According to my tentative IVF schedule, this will fall directly between my proposed ER on May 8th and my fresh tsf 5 days later. I know @Lisa3379 got her shot right around the same time as her FET but this is too close for [my] comfort. I hoped to get it in the next 2 weeks not immediately before/after my fresh tsf because of my RPL issues. What would you do (and why)? I can probably delay it, but then I don't really want it at all during my TWW.