June DE FET

JamieH2000

@laurad75- congrats on being PUPO! I want this so bad for you!! Sending you all the sticky vibes!

@c-town18- I think a positive is very encouraging at 5dp5dt! But it’s stressful when it doesn’t darken nearly as fast as we like. Sending lots of prayers for a darker line tomorrow. This stuff is not for the weak

c-town18

OK, I got a slightly darker line on a FRER this morning so I'm going to chill out and be cautiously optimistic until my beta on Friday.  Thank you all for listening to me yesterday and posting responses, it's just what I needed to get through the day.  Whew! 

madasm0530

I broke down and tested this morning - stupid, stupid, stupid. I am 6dp5dt and used SMU. There was a squinter on a FRER. And when I say squinter, I mean I mean *squinter*. The plan at this point is to wait until Friday to test again and will actually use FMU next time. 

How's everyone else doing? Cheers!

laurad75

@c-town18 Yay!  That's a really good sign.  That's what we are here for.  Few others really understand how difficult this process is unless they are in the thick of it themselves.  Fingers crossed for a good number on Friday. 

@madasm0530 Enough with the 'stupid'.  Most of us here can't hold out until beta.  At 6dp5dt its going to be a faint line because you haven't produced enough of the hormone yet.  It's a good sign.  Friday is coming up fast!  

madasm0530

@laurad75 you're right, i didn't mean stupid necessarily - more silly!

lucyb1954

Oh totally! I did not hold out at all. And @c-town18 it took longer than I wanted for that line to darken up! Sending 🍀❤️

@madasm0530 yay for a squinter! That’s a good sign and for sure it’s early so I think that’s typical. 🤞🍀🤞

@laurad75 thinking about you! I’m so glad you were able to get acupuncture in. Sounds like you had a slightly frustrating morning but were able to get back up by the time of transfer 💪🤞🤞🤞

AFM third beta three days later than second was 6213. I was slightly worried because my second beta was 2300 so technically third should have been 6900. But my clinic seemed absolutely fine with it 🤷‍♀️ So I’ll just go with that. I have my first ultrasound at 7wk1d next Thursday. It feels so far away! But they don’t do any monitoring after the last beta. 

laurelew

@c-town18 Happy to hear your promising news!  Friday will be here before you know it.

@madasm0530 The TWW is enough to drive anyone crazy.  That squinter sounds like a step in the right direction though.

@lucyb1954 What a great update.  I feel like this whole process has been one long waiting game.  Even when everything is good you spend your days waiting until that next appointment.  Best of luck at your ultrasound next week!

afm: On Monday I officially graduated from my RE.  I am currently 7w6d.  My next appointment will not be until Aug 11 when I meet with my OB.  In the meantime my sister suggested I might want to start reaching out to daycares already, which I thought was crazy since my state is far from being fully reopened and no one knows what next year might look like at this time.  But I decided to take her advice anyway since there are only so many daycares within a reasonable distance of my house.  I spoke to one daycare yesterday who confirmed that this is absolutely the right time to contact them and that if my baby was due in January or February 2021 I would already be too late.  My EDD is 3/4/2021 -- crazy!  So now I'm waiting for a call back from that daycare's second location, which is even better for me along with another daycare who left me a message yesterday around noon but has yet to return my call back.  Why do I also feel like so much of this process is also waiting around anxiously for those important calls?  I'm feeling the pressure now, even though my DH and I still have yet to tell his family or any of our friends!

laurad75

@laurelew We didn't start looking into daycare until about 3 months before my son was born and the waitlist was about a year.  We ended up getting a nanny but that process is stressful so it's good that you got started.  

JamieH2000

@lucyb1954- beta doubling time slows down after 1500 I read. I think things sound great! I know it’s a scary time, but try to enjoy it if you can!!

@lauralew- dang! That is crazy you have to start looking at daycare already! Congrats on graduating!

@madasm0530- congrats on the line!! Crossing everything it keeps getting darker 

c-town18

@madasm0530 - Congrats on the BFP!!  Fingers crossed that it keeps getting darker!  

laurelew - Look at you!  Graduating from your RE, moving on to an OB, shopping for daycares.... sounds like you're making some big moves, girl!  Congrats!  

lucyb1954

@JamieH2000 thank you, that's really reassuring! It's so easy to worry about everything, especially before any ultrasounds. Especially because I don't have a ton of symptoms. 

And @laurelew I am clearly unprepared for this motherhood thing! I hadn't even thought about contacting daycares, etc. Whoa! That's bonkers! Wow you graduated early from your RE...I don't think I graduate until 9-10 weeks or so. I guess I should line up an OB, eh? I feel so nervous about things and it's like I don't want to get ahead of myself and get my hopes up so I haven't gotten that far. 

laurelew

@lucyb1954 Trust me, I feel the same way!  My RE said they're only allowed to see me through 8 weeks (maybe it's a NJ thing?).  I called the office of my OB (who is also my GYN) at least 2 weeks ago to set up my appt with them and August 11 was the earliest they had, and even at that I can't get in with my OB but one of the other associates (my OB was booked through the end of August already).

Depending on where you live, daycare lists might not be as competitive but I was honestly blown away but how stressful this entire process is.  And I'm not even in North Jersey, I live in South Jersey, just outside of Philadelphia.  I ended up calling the one daycare back on my own and was told that they had slots filled for 2022 already!  Apparently people will put down almost $500 non-refundable deposits to secure spots for babies they hope to have within a certain time period -- WHAT??!!  As someone who has struggled with IF for over two years I found this concept appalling and a bit of a slap in the face.  Fortunately it sounds like I should be able to secure a spot at another daycare with a much more personable Associate Director.  My DH and I have a tour scheduled for next Wednesday night (after hours).  

madasm0530

@laurelew I lined up a spot for baby 2 before we even started this cycle. If everything works out he/she wouldn't be starting daycare for over a year. I'm not sure where you live, but I'm in MN and daycare (esp for infants) is really, really hard to come by here. Good for you for getting the ball rolling 

madasm0530

@c-town18 FX for an awesome beta today! 

madasm0530

AFM,

took another FRER this morning and there was clearly a line. still a squinter but telling myself that 8dp5dt is still early. I am psyching myself out because with DS, I got a dark positive on 5dp6dt and he was already hatching so it's completely different!

beta is monday!

lucyb1954

@c-town18 GL today! 💪🍀🤞❤️

@JamieH2000 GL today too! 🤞 for a clean lovely uterus!

@madasm0530 yay! you still have lots of time for that line to darken up! 

c-town18

*TW*  Blah, beta at 9dp5dt is 32. Nurse says they brought me in a day early since tomorrow is a Saturday, and typically at 10 days post-transfer they want to see it at a minimum of 50.  She says she's "not super concerned" at this point but I go back on Monday and obviously that number will be very important. I felt pinching on Saturday night that I'm pretty sure was the embryo implanting, so I'm hoping the late implantation explains why it's so low.  Ugh, it's going to be a long weekend.  FML.  *End TW* 

laurad75

@c-town18 Okay.  It's not the number you wanted to see but its not over yet.  I'm so sorry you have to wait longer.  Try and enjoy your weekend to make it go by fast!  

madasm0530

@c-town18 my clinic always says anything above 30 is good to go. crossing my fingers so hard for a good beta monday!!

lucyb1954

@c-town18 agreed with all that has been said. You're still in the game! I'm so sorry you have to wait for another beta, that's crap you have to take all weekend for it and have it on your mind. My clinic does do bloodwork etc at one of their locations on the weekend, which I've been grateful for. Definitely since it's a late implanter though, those extra days give it some time to take off. Sometimes there are just late bloomers, every embryo is different. I've got my fingers crossed for you and sending to that lil embryo. 

@laurad75 how are YOU doing?
@radmom27 I hope you are doing okay! Are you doing to do the depot lupron? Thinking of you. 

c-town18

madasm0530 - Fingers crossed that your beta on Monday is a nice high number!  

@laurad75 - How are you holding up?  Keeping busy I hope?  

laurelew

@c-town18 I'm sorry your beta results were not the number you were hoping for.  Sending prayers your way for a great second beta on Monday.

@JamieH2000 I hope your appointment today went well and that everything comes back clear.

@madasm0530 Your line sounds very promising.  Best of luck with your beta on Monday!

@laurad75 How have you been feeling?  I hope you're holding up well during your TWW.

laurad75

Thanks for asking everyone. I’m fine but symptom spotting like a crazy person and I couldn’t sleep last night.  I tested this morning (5dp5dt) which is too early but I swear I had a squinter on day 5 my last pregnancy. Anyway, I don’t see anything. I will likely test again tomorrow and every day until beta on Thursday. Ugh. 

c-town18

laurad75 - Like you said, it's way early but I know how nice it would have been to see an early line.  No worries, you're still right on track.  Sorry the 2ww is such torture.  

JamieH2000

@laurad75- ugh. The tww is just brutal. it’s torture whether you test or not. Honestly don’t know how I’ll handle the next one after this one. Just hoping with everything you get a line soon!!

@c-town18- ugh limbo is so hard. I have def seen happy endings from a low first beta. But, you and I have been around here long enough to know that higher is always ideal. Just praying you are one of those happy endings - it’s your time, you have been thru enough!!!

afm- saline looked clear. Glad I don’t have to have surgery, but now waiting on the biopsy results. Don’t really want to have to deal with antibiotics if there is an infections/inflammation but on the flip side, if nothing was wrong then there nothing to fix!

lucyb1954

Ugh yes @laurad75 TWW sucks. Chin up! Each embryo is different. It's nice to get an early positive, but I've def encountered some folks who didn't get a positive until day 9 or 10 and went on to have successful pregnancies. Just part of the bunkness of IF...all the waiting!

@c-town18 sending hugs lady I know it's probably a crappy weekend. 

@JamieH2000 I'm glad to hear your saline sono was clear! That's really relieving that you don't have to have surgery again and have to go through the wait for that etc. Idk if it will be relieving to have an infection? Then it will be nice to have something to fix at least? It's often harder NOT to have answers, but I do hope that whatever it is, you can get started again soon! Do you know when you'll know about the biopsy?

@laurelew how are you doing??? I haven't felt safe enough to join the PAIF board. I have my first ultrasound on Thursday and I'm still a bundle of nerves about things. I'm glad to hear that you'll be joining a daycare where you actually like the director! The world is such a bonkers place when you have to reserve childcare that far in advance. I've heard that with COVID19 etc that many childcare places will probably lose so much business they have to shut down altogether, so they will be in high demand so it's good you're getting started. 

laurad75

Thanks @lucyb1954 I should go hunt down some stories like that. My boobs are so sore I know I’m not imagining it.  You should definitely join the PAIF board. They are wonderful over there and so supportive. I’m excited to go back and there. 

@JamieH2000 Good news on the saline. I hope the biopsy results come back quickly. 

laurelew

@JamieH2000 Good to hear that the saline came back clean.  I agree with what @lucyb1954 said.  If you need to go on the antibiotics at least you'll feel like you're doing something to try to "fix" whatever didn't align for last cycle.  However any delay is always frustrating.  Do they have you on BC while you're doing this testing so that as soon as you get to okay to start again you can?  Or will you have to wait for another natural cycle?

@lucyb1954 Don't be shy about joining the PAIF board.  There are a few of us who are still newly pregnant over there and who are all going through the same worries and concerns that you are.  Even having had three ultrasounds and having seen the heartbeat I am still a bundle of nerves. 

*TW* A friend of mine from work who got pregnant naturally and was due the exact same day that I was had her first u/s at 8 weeks this past Friday and there was no heartbeat.  *TW*

I try to stay positive and I know my odds are good since I have already made it this far and I know that I have a PGS normal embryo, but I don't think the worries ever go away.  I'm sure that any of the women on this board who are already moms will probably back that up.

c-town18

JamieH2000 - Thank God no surgery, what a relief!   Hopefully your biopsy comes back clear and you can get back on track.  

laurelew - Yup, I was definitely expecting something to go wrong throughout my entire first pregnancy.  I think once I had the 20 week anatomy scan and things looked good then I was able to chill out a tiny bit, but I did and will always get anxiety for those first few seconds when they're doing an U/S before they pick up the heartbeat.  Too many bad outcomes have left me traumatized unfortunately.  

AFM, going for my second beta early tomorrow.  Luckily we day-tripped it to the beach today so I was too busy to sit around and obsess.   

laurad75

Good luck today @c-town18! 

@laurelew We all have ptsd from the process and it takes longer to really believe it’s going to happen. That’s a sad story about your friend and I can relate.  If I’m ever pregnant again I don’t know when I will feel secure that everything is going to be okay. 

AFM: still stark white BFNs. My latest form of crazy is googling the accuracy of the HPTs I’m using. They are all cheapies which is giving me ill-conceived hope. I’m considering buying a FRER before my beta on Thursday. 

c-town18

laurad75 -  Ugh, I'm sorry you're in 2ww hell; don't count yourself out yet though.  I will say that a stupid Walgreens knockoff of the FRER gave me a negative on the same day that the real FRER was giving me a faint positive.  Googled it and tons of people online were complaining about that Walgreens kind giving them both false positives and false negatives.  I know that's not the kind you're using right now, but my point is that if you're doubting accuracy of the cheapies then yes get an FRER.  

laurelew

@c-town18 Wishing you the best today!

@laurad75 What a limbo to be in.  Hopefully it's just a little too early to pick up that BFP line yet.

madasm0530

@laurad75 ugh, i hate the inaccuracy of HPTs sometimes. crossing my fingers so hard for you.  I forget, when's your beta again? 

@c-town18 thinking of you today. FX for a great beta!

@jamieh2000 so glad that the saline was clear! awesome news!

AFM, beta was early, early this morning. now we wait!

c-town18

madasm0530 - OMG we're both waiting on beta results today!  Good luck to you!  Here's hoping we both get some good news.  

c-town18

*TW* Some good news for today ladies!  Beta is 112, up from my measly 32 which was taken 70 hours prior.  So that's a doubling time of 39 hours. Going back on Wednesday.  Trying not to get too excited but I also keep thinking holy sh*t, could I possibly wind up being a low beta success story?  We'll see.  *End TW* 

madasm0530

@c-town18 that's awesome news!!!

laurelew

@c-town18 That is great news!!!  Now the countdown to Wednesday begins...

laurad75

@c-town18 Awesome news! 

@madasm0530 any news yet? My beta isn’t until Thursday. 

madasm0530

nothing yet. trying not to read too much into it! 

madasm0530

Update 

beta was 310!! back wednesday for a follow up.