@kboydbowman I found out for the very same reason. Before I got pregnant I didn’t think I cared. We are strongly considering being one and done. Once I found out I was pregnant I started getting anxious when I thought about having a boy. I knew I needed as much time as possible to prepare myself mentally. Luckily we got the NIPT results back and we’re team girl as well! The results made me feel so much more at ease. So don’t feel bad or guilty at all.
I feel like we are heavily girl skewed so far in the people who have found out, but maybe I'm wrong! Is there a way to do a poll on the bump? Would love to see where we are sitting.
@kboydbowman, I had some gender disappointment this go around. I actually cried because I’m having another boy when I desperately wanted a daughter. There’s no shame in gender disappointment as long as it doesn’t affect how you treat your child.
I let myself have some time to get over it and now I’m going excited for a second son.
Me: 27 DH: 27 Married 6/15/13 BFP #1 5/8/16, EDD 12/31/16- DD born 9/10/16 at 24 weeks ~In our hearts forever~ BFP #2 10/14/17, EDD 7/1/18
@carrotsandpeas3 I also feel like there are a lot of people finding out on here as compared to usual in BMBs (despite my comment about people I know in real life being split, and yes, I'm one of those who will be finding out).
@kboydbowman it may be because I spent 11 years of my life being told I could never have a baby, so really I'll be happy as hell for any sex. It could also be that I'm queer and have a good number of Trans/Gender non-conforming friends, so what bits someone has doesn't effect me too much.
@aefsparrow that's how I feel too, I'm glad I'm not alone in that thinking! Added perk is with team green it's easier for me to put my foot down HARD that the in laws are absolutely not allowed to gender our children based on genital status specifically with colors/themed clothing. I get so much pushback for the neutral preference but honestly it's the best choice for our family
I very much believe sex =/= gender and still had a preference. I also don't think just because someone struggled with infertility or previous loss that they can't have those feelings.
Just because it's something that you don't feel doesn't mean it's not a real thing people deal with to varying degrees. 🤷♀️
@aefsparrow also queer and gender-nonconfirming myself so I can certainly understand that, and if my AFAB child decides they are male (or NB or dual-gender, or any other variant), I will be totally cool with it.
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
@MJDsquared and I would never begrudge someone their feelings, that's just my personal reasoning for why I'm not worried about it. I think it's absolutely okay to grieve the life you picture with the sex that you preferred if the baby isnt that, and no one should feel ashamed of that.
As for me...maybe I will come across as being too negative. But I was having a super hard time not knowing the gender not because I wanted a boy or a girl but because I was worried that if something was wrong with the pregnancy, even if it wasn't anything serious, that not knowing the gender would make it more difficult to connect to the baby. And because being the second pregnancy, I already felt a bit more disconnected. I was also nervous about getting to the delivery room and going through complications and again having to add the unknown of the gender. I know it's weird and I know I see the negative side of it...For a while I reaaaally wanted it to be a surprise, but my H understood why I needed to find out. We aren't telling anyone though so they don't stress us out with names!
Luckily, my parents and in laws don't bother much with gender-specific things at all. My son has clothing in all the colors I personally like even if they are traditionally girly. He has a kitchen and dolls and for all intents and purposes he can play with whatever he wants! Grandparents know and support that.
On a practical side, I hate clutter and I was eager to get rid of some of my son's clothing. Even though we are definitely not going full pink with this girl, she definitely needs to enjoy a few new things! Plus it's different seasons, so I will need some new stuff anyways.
With my first, it took me a while to come to terms to the fact that he was a boy but OMG I seriously don't know how a girl could ever top his awesomeness. I love being a boy mom and would have been happy with two brothers too!
I was team green and really really wanted a boy. DD ended up a girl and I honestly never had a moment of disappointment. I think because she was there front of me and I just loved her. This time we wanted to try it a different way and find out. I really wanted a girl and felt so guilty about feeling sad if it ended up being a boy. I remember almost changing my mind on finding out because i didn’t want to show disappointment when we did our reveal.
So we’ve had our name down for over 2 months. I know we are still a long ways away from this baby being born but MH just told me he wants to rethink the name. I’m wondering if I can just not bring it up again and he will forget about it. 😂
Me: 27 DH: 27 Married 6/15/13 BFP #1 5/8/16, EDD 12/31/16- DD born 9/10/16 at 24 weeks ~In our hearts forever~ BFP #2 10/14/17, EDD 7/1/18
@profmcgonagall Wow! We are not really close to agreeing on a name. 😂 If it’s encouraging, I had second thoughts about our first’s name A LOT. We stuck with it and it suits him. My BIL had second thoughts about their first’s name also, but they had already told people the name had had received gifts with the baby’s name. My SIL wouldn’t budge and it is hard to imagine my niece named anything else. 😊
Picking out names actually went much smoother for DH and I than we both expected. We have first and middle name picked out for one girl and 3 first name choices (all with the same middle name) picked out for the second girl. We agreed a lot more on names than we thought and each girl will have a middle name with family meaning, which helped narrow down our first name selection significantly.
I started looking for names years ago. I would run them by my boyfriend, and he vetoed every one, but one girl name. He compared every name to that one. We couldn’t agree on boy names. Since we’re having a girl she already has her probably name. Even though it’s not 100% we also haven’t been looking for any others either.
@baseballismyfavoriteseason, he did this with my son’s name as well. But he never came up with any alternatives so we just kept it. I’m hoping it’s the same with this one because I’m attached to it now.
Me: 27 DH: 27 Married 6/15/13 BFP #1 5/8/16, EDD 12/31/16- DD born 9/10/16 at 24 weeks ~In our hearts forever~ BFP #2 10/14/17, EDD 7/1/18
So I've had my preferred names picked for a while. I've been waiting to bring them up with DH because I knew the boy name would be different than he expected since I wasn't sticking with our boy name from last pregnancy. Girl name was his preferred name last time, so knew that would be fine. I finally told him a week or two ago and he immediately was like "those are fine." I kind of just stared at him, like give me your honest opinion man! He basically said that he liked them enough and that he felt like it was my call in the end since I'm delivering this baby. Made me roll my eyes, but I will take him letting me run with my names. I don't have a boy middle name yet. DDs middle name and our new girl middle name are both family names, but all our boy family names are terrible. 😬
@carrotsandpeas3 we're using family names for middles too! We decided that if it's a boy it will have my late grandfather's first name (Noyes), if it's a girl it'll have a variant of his grandmother's first name (Dot instead of Dorothy or Dotty). It is a bit less strain on us that way so we only have to figure 1 name out lol
I told him I had more say than he did on middle name because he gets last name. I actually found a name that encompasses my mom’s, his mom’s, and his step mom’s maiden names. And to top it all off it’s a really pretty name. We’ve told them already, so I don’t think we can change the middle name now. 😂
We blew it by using both grandfathers’ names for the first boy. 🤣 It was also the ONLY first name we could agree on for the entire pregnancy, and the middle name we didn’t pick until about 12 hours after he was born. I’m hoping we have a name picked out before this one is born—we might have too many parameters. 🤪
@baseballismyfavoriteseason I can’t even imagine trying to decide on a name in the hospital. I was so loopy from the drugs. 😂
we had agreed on two things when it came to choosing any names. We couldn’t have any exes names or any names that’s really in our family. We had decided on Emilia. We loved it. It was perfect. MH had two aunts named Amelia but we felt comfortable with it being slightly different. Then we found out two of his cousins had daughters named Emilia. 😑 so now we’re back to looking at some other options. At least we figure it out beforehand. Last time around we kept the name to ourselves until she was born.
@babycakesday Thanks to 3-4 hours of pushing, my drugs wore off LONG before baby arrived (the line for my epidural broke!). But i was SO EXHAUSTED... tired enough that we forgot to tell the nurses we had finally settled on a name. 🤣
Fingers crossed it's the new normal for you @profmcgonagall 🤞
Rave for today is my partner belly mapped and found the baby right away, it's always so nice when someone else confirms you're feeling a little balled up baby and not some other organ lol It all feels the same after awhile when I'm prodding myself 😂
This is probably a topic for a whole other thread, but my husband made me watch a documentary on Netflix about circumcision. I’m all for it, he was until watching this show. I’m not sure what we’re going to do 😱
Lord have mercy. I just want to sleep through the night. I was awake from 2 until after 5am last night and I know it’s only going to get worse in the 3rd trimester (and when these babies come). 😫
@anitamargarita_82 I watched that documentary about a year ago. I could only make it about half way through it. That’s actually one of the many reasons (albeit a small reason) I was so thankful to find out we are having a girl. One fewer decision to make. Good luck with whatever you decide. I don’t think there’s a right answer.
@anitamargarita_82 I've seen that one too! Only difference is my husband saw the first 2 minutes and refused to watch anymore lol. Honestly... in this day and age (and I'm sure people will disagree, which is fine) if you are living in a first world country and arent Jewish, there is no reason to circumcise. There are a lot of pretty out there things in that documentary, but for me it's an unnecessary trauma to the child. But again... that's just me.
I'm with @aefsparrow. Our son is not circumcised and we haven't had any issues so far. Our pediatrician said the exact thing you said @aefsparrow, plus I'm from Europe where it's not common at all. From what I read people seems to lean towards not circumcising
@animalandplantrescuer I'm also thankful we're having a girl so we don't have to make that decision. If we were having a boy, though, I had told MH that I would leave it up to him since I don't have lived experience on the topic (other than having had exes who had and hadn't been circumcised, and have no preference in the bedroom).
@babyodo I feel the same way. I'm leaving it to DH and he is 100% for it based on his own experience, so I'm fine with that. I feel like it's a decision that I'm much more comfortable with him making.
It’s after 5 and I haven’t kept anything down today. Going back on the nausea meds tonight :-(.
We were planning on circumcising DS but when he was born early, we didn’t want to put him through anything else. Almost no one here in England circumcises and while I do not judge those who choose to do it, we won’t be circumcising this baby either.
Me: 27 DH: 27 Married 6/15/13 BFP #1 5/8/16, EDD 12/31/16- DD born 9/10/16 at 24 weeks ~In our hearts forever~ BFP #2 10/14/17, EDD 7/1/18
@babyodo I was probably leaning towards doing it until I saw the documentary. After I became torn. I would be fine with letting my boyfriend decide, but realized he doesn’t have all the information as well since all guys only know one way. But you and @carrotsandpeas3 are right that they definitely have more experience than any of us have.
I also try to remind myself when watching a documentary that they all have a bias. I sometimes watch documentaries I don’t agree with to remind myself of this. This was made by someone or someones who are very angry about what was done to them, so they will only show what supports that belief. Their belief might be accurate, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. I hope that makes sense.
So I guess from all I’ve written I’m just throwing up my hands and saying, I don’t know what’s best!!!!
Can someone explain how to get to Community using the new update on the app? I have to google "the bump community" and when I click on the link it asks me to open using the app or my browser and that's the only way I can get here. Please help! ***** Nevermind! Found it! Go through the menus on the left side and Tools>Community.
@kalesix3 totally agree! I only use the app for the Community and the weekly summary of what's going on inside me. I find that most articles are based on US stores, brands and laws so I can't relate to many.
If we had a boy I would not want to circumcise either. I watched a few in nursing school and was appalled TBH. I can’t imagine subjecting my baby to someone cutting them open without any anesthesia.
We have had a wooden rocker we got from one of DH’s coworkers in our nursery room for quite a long time. And now that I’ve done research I definitely don’t want a wooden rocker that has absolutely no cushions at all, especially with nursing... but DH is like “we already have a rocker, you don’t need to look at other ones” and I found a $20 one on Facebook marketplace today that would actually match our white nursery furniture too and looks so comfy. I don’t think I’ll be able to convince him unless someone else buys us one. And I am not making cushions for the one we have... too much work.
@mamahosch I spent a year nursing in a wooden rocker and that is my main item I'm replacing this time. It was mostly fine, just could have been way more comfortable. I did buy a cushion for the seat from Ikea and had a pillow wedged in the lumbar area at all times. Maybe you could put the wooden rocker somewhere else and still use it? But definitely not the ideal middle of the night chair.
Re: May Randoms
Married 6/15/13
BFP #1 5/8/16, EDD 12/31/16- DD born 9/10/16 at 24 weeks
~In our hearts forever~
BFP #2 10/14/17, EDD 7/1/18
DD - 12/28/17
TTC #2 3/2019
BFP 5/2019 || MC - D&C 5/2019
BFP 2/2020 || EDD 10/10/2020
Added perk is with team green it's easier for me to put my foot down HARD that the in laws are absolutely not allowed to gender our children based on genital status specifically with colors/themed clothing. I get so much pushback for the neutral preference but honestly it's the best choice for our family
Just because it's something that you don't feel doesn't mean it's not a real thing people deal with to varying degrees. 🤷♀️
DD - 12/28/17
TTC #2 3/2019
BFP 5/2019 || MC - D&C 5/2019
BFP 2/2020 || EDD 10/10/2020
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
As for me...maybe I will come across as being too negative. But I was having a super hard time not knowing the gender not because I wanted a boy or a girl but because I was worried that if something was wrong with the pregnancy, even if it wasn't anything serious, that not knowing the gender would make it more difficult to connect to the baby. And because being the second pregnancy, I already felt a bit more disconnected. I was also nervous about getting to the delivery room and going through complications and again having to add the unknown of the gender. I know it's weird and I know I see the negative side of it...For a while I reaaaally wanted it to be a surprise, but my H understood why I needed to find out. We aren't telling anyone though so they don't stress us out with names!
Luckily, my parents and in laws don't bother much with gender-specific things at all. My son has clothing in all the colors I personally like even if they are traditionally girly. He has a kitchen and dolls and for all intents and purposes he can play with whatever he wants! Grandparents know and support that.
On a practical side, I hate clutter and I was eager to get rid of some of my son's clothing. Even though we are definitely not going full pink with this girl, she definitely needs to enjoy a few new things! Plus it's different seasons, so I will need some new stuff anyways.
With my first, it took me a while to come to terms to the fact that he was a boy but OMG I seriously don't know how a girl could ever top his awesomeness. I love being a boy mom and would have been happy with two brothers too!
Married 6/15/13
BFP #1 5/8/16, EDD 12/31/16- DD born 9/10/16 at 24 weeks
~In our hearts forever~
BFP #2 10/14/17, EDD 7/1/18
Married 6/15/13
BFP #1 5/8/16, EDD 12/31/16- DD born 9/10/16 at 24 weeks
~In our hearts forever~
BFP #2 10/14/17, EDD 7/1/18
we had agreed on two things when it came to choosing any names. We couldn’t have any exes names or any names that’s really in our family. We had decided on Emilia. We loved it. It was perfect. MH had two aunts named Amelia but we felt comfortable with it being slightly different. Then we found out two of his cousins had daughters named Emilia. 😑 so now we’re back to looking at some other options. At least we figure it out beforehand. Last time around we kept the name to ourselves until she was born.
Married 6/15/13
BFP #1 5/8/16, EDD 12/31/16- DD born 9/10/16 at 24 weeks
~In our hearts forever~
BFP #2 10/14/17, EDD 7/1/18
Rave for today is my partner belly mapped and found the baby right away, it's always so nice when someone else confirms you're feeling a little balled up baby and not some other organ lol
It all feels the same after awhile when I'm prodding myself 😂
Due with baby #2: Feb 2022
We were planning on circumcising DS but when he was born early, we didn’t want to put him through anything else. Almost no one here in England circumcises and while I do not judge those who choose to do it, we won’t be circumcising this baby either.
Married 6/15/13
BFP #1 5/8/16, EDD 12/31/16- DD born 9/10/16 at 24 weeks
~In our hearts forever~
BFP #2 10/14/17, EDD 7/1/18
*****
Nevermind! Found it! Go through the menus on the left side and Tools>Community.
What a horrible design!