@modoodles wow, I'm so sorry for all that you had to go through while you were growing up. And as someone who currently works for my state's child welfare agency, I agree with @bluguitarhannah that counselor messed up big time. Ugh. Again, I'm sorry and glad you are personally in a good place despite all that bs.
@bluguitarhannah yes, it's very interesting to look back at your childhood and at your parents through adult eyes (and becoming parents ourselves). Keep us posted on the shower. Do you think your dad and his wife wouldn't come because of your mom being there or for other reasons?
@meanjellybean Yes, it would be b/c they avoid one another. They still have heat about each other 40 years after it all ended. My Mom did speak to my stepmom after my Dad's heart attack. He's been a different person with us kids since his heart attack we got cards on birthdays for first time in decade, etc. I'm hopeful the first and likely only grandkid will lead to being a bigger person.
My mom is very well meaning and also a little bonkers haha. She has a super generous heart but absolutely no follow through. My dad is retired and they live off his social security. My mom works Jan-April part time for an accountant to help out during tax season.
They watched DD twice a week for the last year. Then I quit my job last week to transition to being a SAHM which they knew I was doing. She’s been telling me for the last two months that she wanted to keep coming over one day a week to stay involved with her and to give me some time to rest or run errands. And then she told me she would keep coming one day a week after baby #2 arrives and if I wanted, she would stay over one night a week and help with night. I thought those were really nice offers and was so excited for the help. Then I got a random text two weeks ago that just said “I decided to go back to work full time so maybe you can fit me in some weekends.”
Ughhhh. It is her life and she is free to work as she wants/needs but I felt like she pulled the rug out from under me and now I won’t have that help at all. I found out later this all stemmed from her deciding on a whim that she had to buy a new SUV so she went with no down payment and only got $1500 for her car and then signed a loan for $421 a month for seven years! So now she has to work in order to pay it.
She thinks she’s going to pay it off in 15 months but I know she doesn’t have the discipline with her money to do that. She’s already sent DD 3 gifts in the last week that we didn’t ask for, bought us a double stroller, said she’s hosting a sprinkle for me, and THEN told me she wants to buy the new baby’s furniture because she did it for DD. No! Its too much! I know you can’t tell people how to spend their money but she’s spending paychecks before she even gets them. They don’t have a lot and then I feel awful when she buys stuff for us. Just pay your car stuff so you don’t have to work full time and can spend time with your grandchildren.
Me: 33 DH: 31 Location: Castle Rock, CO DD: 10.13.18 baby #2 due: 7.14.20
@sunnyknightsarah that sucks, I'm sorry her plans completely changed and affected your plans in the process. That is frustrating, especially to know it's because of a car. And a 7 year loan on a car?? Seems like she'll be upside down on that pretty quickly unless she pays it off much faster.
wow you guys. i am so sorry you all have these experiences with the ILs, but im also kind of comforted to know that its not just me that has to deal with crazies, hahaha.
@modoodles i am so sorry you had that experience growing up! i wish that counselor wouldve done the right thing and that it couldve been better for you. that fact that you even still have a relationship with your mother is truly amazing! im glad its not terrible for you like it used to be. and sorry your ILs aren't too much better.....im glad you and YH get to create your own sweet family and make better decisions than them!
@footdrbritt my MIL also claims that we purposefully stay away from her and the "family"....we live 17 hours away from them. i cant eye roll hard enough. sorry you have to deal with that!
@bluguitarhannah ugh i cant even with your MIL. like, Jesus loved everyone, soooo maybe act like him a little if you're going to claim to be Christian??
@blaf322 hahahahahaha bringing his own guac LOL. wtf.
@mehugg sorry about your ILs.....your FIL would make me so mad!!! especially for saying those things when you struggled with IF stuff. some people have no decency.
@mayisch umm she expects YH to call/text every day??? hes not in high school anymore!! and his #1 priority is you and your kids! chill out MIL.
@meanjellybean ugh i hope your SIL gets pregnant too so that the MIL can focus some of her crazy elsewhere! and they think 5-10 minutes is too far and wanted to live closer????? that blows my mind.
married to DH on March 15, 2018 TTC since May 2018 dx: PCOS, hypothroidism tx: timed intercourse with meds (dexa, clomid, letrozole, metformin, trigger shots)
First TTGP: 5/9/19 BFN, 6/21/19 BFN, 7/29/19 BFN, 8/1/19 started a break from tx, 11/16/19 surprised with a BFP! LO born 7/7/20 Second TTGP: started meds for first cycle of tx on 10/13/21
i dont even know where to start with my MIL. i guess i started getting the most annoyed with her when we started fertility treatments. we would explain all the treatments we would do and she would give the most ridiculous answers trying to be "supportive". for example, we were on the phone with her one time and MH told her how all the medicines they have me take really messes with my hormones and she proceeded to launch into this major story about how after she had my BIL and MH (#1 and #2 in birth order) that she was having a hard time having two kids under the age of 2 and she didnt want to get pregnant again but then they got pregnant with my SIL and she was so bitter and her emotions were just everywhere. um, okay, i understand there are hormonal and emotional things that happen post partum, but maybe dont compare your frustration at being able to get pregnant to my and MH's difficulties in getting pregnant....thats not how you talk to someone struggling with IF. not to mention her remarks like "well at least making babies is fun!!!!" um, do i enjoy having sex with your son? yes. do i want to talk to you about it? heck no. is it fun to take a billion hormonal meds and have scheduled sex and be so stressed about another potentially failed cycle? not really.
married to DH on March 15, 2018 TTC since May 2018 dx: PCOS, hypothroidism tx: timed intercourse with meds (dexa, clomid, letrozole, metformin, trigger shots)
First TTGP: 5/9/19 BFN, 6/21/19 BFN, 7/29/19 BFN, 8/1/19 started a break from tx, 11/16/19 surprised with a BFP! LO born 7/7/20 Second TTGP: started meds for first cycle of tx on 10/13/21
Wow, I am so sorry for all of the situations you all are having to deal with...or grew up with, or both! I am very blessed in that my MIL is such a sweetheart (FIL passed away 20 years ago). I have four siblings and my husband has three and there are really no comparable issues for me except for my SIL. She and my husband's relationship was already going down the tubes when I met him. We had a rather quick courtship...we started dating in September and got married in May of the next year. But everyone was really great and supportive except for her...she told us it was a mistake that we were getting married. She gave a speech at our reception and made a joke about barely even knowing me...which was more tame than what I thought she was going to say! She is just a really angry, insecure person, I actually feel really sorry for her.
She definitely brings out the worst in DH, which is not good. After their last bad exchange last year she has decided to block us so that we have not been able to call and tell her about our pregnancy (she did find out via our other SIL, slightly annoying that happened, but whatever). I honestly don't know if I want her to have much of a relationship with my kid...who knows what she will say or do. She is great with her other two nieces, but terrible to their mom to the point that their mother now refuses to be in the same room with her. So she is definitely the main damper on the fun...she wasn't there at Christmas and it was honestly so much better without her.
@knockupthestock well, I get those kind of comments... if you want to be supportive and if you haven't been in the same position, just say you're hoping for the best or if you don't know what to say then don't.
With my DS I struggled a lot with BF, I tried a lot since day 1, I got stressed, frustrated, I cried because I felt like the worst mom ever... her best comment was "I produced lots of milk, I fed my babies and still had milk coming out, sometimes I even woke up soaked because milk didn't stopped leaking even while I slept".... I can remember her exact words because that made me feel even worst...
I got over it few days after and convinced myself that I wasn't the worst mother because I couldn't breastfed my baby, then I relaxed and I could BF almost until his 1st birthday...
Not to freak you out, but if your MIL is like mine, expect more of those comments when baby arrives... Try to ignore everything and do whatever you feel is the best for you and your little one
@knockupthestock Ick, people are so insensitive about infertility b/c they are ignorant. If I could just get pregnant and resent how many I had I wouldn't be paying a private college's tuition to do this. I hope it gets better.
@bluguitarhannah@meanjellybean thanks ladies. unfortunately it hasnt gotten too much better so far, but DH and I are getting used to it, haha. a couple months after we started IF treatments, MIL sent a picture she drew to our family chat thread that showed all of her kids with their future children, and she gave us 5 kids. so my snarky self was like "um im 30 and infertile so 5 is a little bit of a stretch" and then she just dismissed it. then when we announced to them that we are pregnant, FIL was like "so much for 30 and infertile!" um, no....yes, we got pregnant while on a break from treatments, but i am positive we wouldn't have gotten pregnant if i had not done the treatments beforehand. so ya, they just dont understand IF at all.
married to DH on March 15, 2018 TTC since May 2018 dx: PCOS, hypothroidism tx: timed intercourse with meds (dexa, clomid, letrozole, metformin, trigger shots)
First TTGP: 5/9/19 BFN, 6/21/19 BFN, 7/29/19 BFN, 8/1/19 started a break from tx, 11/16/19 surprised with a BFP! LO born 7/7/20 Second TTGP: started meds for first cycle of tx on 10/13/21
Last night my in-laws stopped by to give a valentines gift to my daughter. She was being crazy and showing off to them, also on a sugar high from a 4K vday party at school. I made a sigh with a rolling eyes/smile in the midst of her performance. My FIL goes "well you may have a masters degree, but it's not in math, and let me tell you 1+1 does not equal 2..it's more like 4.. and a half!" .....? I wasn't really sure where he was going with it, but I guess it was his round about way of "warning" me that 2 is going to be crazier than 1? As though I thought going from a perfectly independent 5 year old to adding a newborn was going to be a breeze? Lol. They are great, but it was weird and threw me off. MH wasn't home so I didn't have anyone to help me out of it either lol. FIL is known for making awkward comments like that and usually MH is around to call him out with an "OK POPS".
@mrs_sheddy that comment makes zero sense to me. Like, you explained it and I'm still confused lol.... I'd definitely ignore that b/c he's clearly lost his mind.
My MIL is quite a hoarder and has told us about all of the 30+ year old toys and clothes she's going to be giving us for our son that she kept from when her kids were little. Some are still fine I'm sure, albeit a little (lot) beaten up, but the thought of what might be crawling in those clothes.... yikes.
@lizzybean84 omg mine does the same thing! Any time we're back there visiting, she's like "oh I have x, y, and z you can take home!" Thanks, but no thanks. Please just get rid of it. She tried to give us the crib MH used....
When we told H's grandparents(his parents basically) that we were expecting His grandpa was like "oh you can have the crib we have in the upstairs room" (they watch school teachers kids during the week). I cringed, it's probably from the 70's(when they raised the first set of kids) and is a drop down. Grandma pointed that out and he's like "we could just zip tie it up so it doesn't go down anymore". I quickly said no thank you and explained that my mom is the crib buyer for all my siblings. We wont even talk about the conversations they've had about "How crazy it is to expect your child to sit rear-facing in carseat for THAT many years!! What do they do with their cramped legs?!?" They really are good babysitters though, and will be trusting them with our babe, but some of the things they say.
I have a new one, my 3 yo was not really behaving at church, my MIL told him to ask us if he could go with them to their place (we were all heading there for a bbq an hour later), hubby said no because DS wasn't behaving and disobeyed him.... he cried bloody murder, big tantrum... luckily the service was over so we just got a few stares... anyway.... They walked away and of course my little angel cried harder, FIL came back and try to reach and hold him and hubby was like no, not now, he can't go... FIL was like "ok, thank you" with a mad tone of course... Long story short they called off the bbq, because they were pissed that DH wouldn't let DS spend time with them... I mean we were trying to show him a lesson and they just got mad because of that... 2 hours later and a lot of calls between hubby/MIL/FIL/BIL we could finally eat
@nursejenn5 omg.... the car seat convo triggers me Like, WTF are you talking about?! What will they do with their unusable legs when they're internally decapitated b/c they weren't RF during an accident.
@lizzybean@stlbuckeye132 yep that's my mom who is the hoarder. Always trying to unload shit on us, not just baby stuff. I remember she got mad that I didn't want her baby grand piano in our house. Our house is like a little over 1000 square feet where the hell do you expect us to put a big ass piano that no one will even use??? She has all these storage units that she pays for and I just want to be like SELL IT ALL what is wrong with you??
ETA after posting this I realized that now that we are moving to a larger house, she's definitely going to want us to take it again *facepalm*
@nursejenn5 wouldn't a zip tie be a nice teething hazard, too? Haha
My MIL is usually the sweetest person, super respectful of boundaries and would with no hesitation let her watch my child.
Last night MH told me he was sharing how we went for a hike over the weekend to his mom, and how I had to stop more often than usual. I'm normally in pretty good shape for a difficult hike, but with first tri fatigue I lost my cardio base and just seem out of breath lately. MIL asked "why?" And MH said it was related to pregnancy, and MIL replied "I don't know about that" with a lot of skepticism. MH said "well, mom, everybody experiences pregnancy in a different way."
I've been feeling down on myself for my eating choices and reduced exercise already, and MIL is someone I look up to health wise. Don't know why but her comment hurt my feelings! Like disproportionately so. Couldn't really share with MH because she didn't call me out in person, and I felt like I was overreacting.
@nutter_bean I don’t think you were overreacting at all. Pregnancy is hard, especially if you can’t do things you liked too before pregnancy as easily. (And being out of breath easier is normal for pregnancy 🙄) people don’t need to point out their skepticism on what someone else may be feeling. That’s the worst.
@nutter_bean That would probably hurt my feelings. You aren't alone in the out of breath. After 18 weeks it felt like the baby moved up closer to my diaphragm and my asthma is much worse. I'd felt fat and out of breath earlier but not so bad.
@nutter_bean I had asked my dr about feeling winded in early pregnancy because I had this idea baby was too small to be making any difference in my breathing yet. Turns out the increase in progesterone causes us to breath more often-so it's very real to feel short of breath, even early on! Feel free to google it and passive aggressively share the link with your MIL lol.
@nutter_bean your MIL can shove it! Pregnancy 100% affects that, and she should just be impressed that you're going on a strenuous hike while pregnant! Good for you.
@nutter_bean@mrs_sheddy also the increase in blood volume will make you more winded, easier. Not super easy for your body to adjust to 50% more blood volume
@nutter_bean It hurts my heart to hear you've been feeling down on yourself. Pregnancy is one of those times where we need to remember to go easy on ourselves, as hard as it is. Breathlessness is SO common, as is eating things that aren't on the "You should eat only these healthy things while pregnant" list. We all do it, and it's definitely nothing you should be feeling bad about yourself over. Exercising while not feeling like you can catch your breath is SO hard, so you just do what you feel comfortable with. Please don't beat yourself up, especially over comments someone makes about their own experience being different. Maybe she's concerned and her concern comes out more accusatory than anything, but still, that was a shitty thing of her to say and she had no place to say it. You're doing great, just keep loving yourself and that bebe.
@nutter_bean I would've cried to be honest, I cried yesterday because my son ate my dinner at a party and hubby didn't got me another, I mean I don't care if my son eats my food, but I was pretty upset because DH didn't notice that my son ate my food...
so yes, everyone experience pregnancy different so no one can really judge you... also is a good thing that your hubby supports you
@nutter_bean that comment would make me suuuuper defensive (read: it would totally hurt my feelings and make me act out b/c of it lol). Honestly, she's clearly uneducated about how pregnancy impacts a woman's body and should probably educate herself before making remarks like that.
@nutter_bean last pregnancy, I was doing a lot of races around the time I got pregnant. There had also been a ton of wildfires blowing smoke up from California - so at one race, even though the smoke had dissipated, I was like, "I guess it's still affecting me because I can NOT breath!" The next week I found out I was pregnant.
My midwife said that's how a lot of runners find out they're pregnant - you just instantly can't breath as well. If you're not running intensely from the start, you probably wouldn't notice (this time I haven't been running much, so didn't notice the breathing impact nearly as early). Running trail races, it was pretty obvious something was happening right away.
This is all to say... ditto to everyone else, you don't have to be far along in pregnancy at all for breathing issues to hit you hard!
We told my parents and ILs last night about baby being a girl. I was pleasantly surprised at my ILs' reaction. They'd made it known they'd prefer a boy, but all they said was, "oh another girl?" while smiling and then eventually followed up with "as long as baby is healthy!" So that was better than the "that's okay" response we got from MIL when we told her DD was a girl.
Of course I can always find something they say/do to complain about, so now here I go, lol. They're weirdly competitive with my parents and anytime we tell them something, they ALWAYS ask if my parents already know. Normally they do, but for this I purposely decided to tell the ILs first. (1. so they'd shut up about my parents knowing first and 2. I knew my parents' reaction would be more fun and I wanted to end on a high note.) So per usual, FIL asked if my parents knew, and we said not yet. Then: FIL: Poor *insert my dad's name here.* Four daughters of his own and now another granddaughter! He's so outnumbered! Me: Yep, he is outnumbered, but he loves it!
When we facetimed with my parents, this convo happened. Me: Yeah, FIL said, "poor ___" when we told them My parents, at the exact same time: Why? Me: Because there are so many girls in our family My dad: Yeah, but that's what I'm more comfortable with at this point. I'm happy to add another granddaughter to the family!
Take that, FIL. FIL also pissed me off when MH was telling them about my OB switching practices which would mean delivering at a different hospital if we stay with her. FIL: "Yeah but the hospital don't really make a difference, it's the doctor." Really, FIL? There are no differences between hospitals ever? OKAY. Also, you're the expert of course because you've delivered so many babies yourself. I quickly corrected him that hospitals can make a huge difference, especially when the NICU levels are different (which they are), they're different distances from our house, the support for an unmedicated birth can be different, etc etc. He's so annoying.
Wow this really turned into a DD post. Sorry, friends! haha
@mehugg omg it. is. so. annoying! During their most recent visit, my MIL got all pissy because DD wouldn't go to her immediately once we walked through the door. She said, "she doesn't want to come to me because I'm not her other grandma." DD was 20 months at the time, had just gotten home from daycare, had woken up from her nap maybe 10 mins before this point, and hadn't seem them in 8 months. You're right though, it's definitely because you're the wrong grandma. *eyeroll*
@stlbuckeye132 I can tell my in laws are inwardly competitive towards my parents. It's much more subtle, but I can just tell. It already kind of bugs me but it would definitely irk me more if it were as overt as that!
@stlbuckeye132 lolllll eye-rolling so hard over here about your FIL. Glad they didn't say anything too f'd up about a second girl, but sad that the expectations were so low! And I get the competitiveness thing too, but for me it's my mom who is competitive and always asks whether my dad and step mom know whenever I tell her something. That's literally always her first thought. You've been divorced for almost 30 years! Get over it!
@meanjellybean omg so annoying! Grow up, and get over it like you said! And yeah I shut down FIL's man-splaining about birth to me pretty quickly. STFU, I don't want to hear your opinion because it means nothing in this decision. I wish I would've thought at the time to say, "oh really? Because I was at the hospital for 5 hours before DD was born, and my OB got there all of 10 mins before she was born. And it was just chance that my doctor was even on call, it could've been any of her partners on call and it was almost the hospital OB who delivered her anyway because she barely got there in time." I can never think that quickly on my feet though.
The competitive families thing is so weird to me. My ILs are definitely jealous of my parents (my mom, specifically). We had an issue when DD was little where my mom replied to a pic I posted on FB with something like, "DD loves her Mimi" b/c she was smiling at my mom. My MIL's sister (DH's aunt) replied with some snark about how she loves everyone or something like that. Like, uhhhh.... yeah? This was just situation specific. Andplusalso, it's just not that big of a deal. I had to have a come to Jesus talk with my MIL b/c her sister was, obviously, defending her b/c it was put in her head that my mom was the bad guy. MIL tried to deflect and say she wasn't sure why her sister did that ::eye roll:: Anyway, the whole thing baffles me.
Re: The in-law thread
@bluguitarhannah yes, it's very interesting to look back at your childhood and at your parents through adult eyes (and becoming parents ourselves). Keep us posted on the shower. Do you think your dad and his wife wouldn't come because of your mom being there or for other reasons?
Me: 33 DH: 31
Location: Castle Rock, CO
DD: 10.13.18
baby #2 due: 7.14.20
@modoodles i am so sorry you had that experience growing up! i wish that counselor wouldve done the right thing and that it couldve been better for you. that fact that you even still have a relationship with your mother is truly amazing! im glad its not terrible for you like it used to be. and sorry your ILs aren't too much better.....im glad you and YH get to create your own sweet family and make better decisions than them!
@footdrbritt my MIL also claims that we purposefully stay away from her and the "family"....we live 17 hours away from them. i cant eye roll hard enough. sorry you have to deal with that!
@bluguitarhannah ugh i cant even with your MIL. like, Jesus loved everyone, soooo maybe act like him a little if you're going to claim to be Christian??
@blaf322 hahahahahaha bringing his own guac LOL. wtf.
@Pascal86 and @stlbuckeye132 ya, thats a big no for your ILs....safety comes first!!!!
@mehugg sorry about your ILs.....your FIL would make me so mad!!! especially for saying those things when you struggled with IF stuff. some people have no decency.
@mayisch umm she expects YH to call/text every day??? hes not in high school anymore!! and his #1 priority is you and your kids! chill out MIL.
@meanjellybean ugh i hope your SIL gets pregnant too so that the MIL can focus some of her crazy elsewhere! and they think 5-10 minutes is too far and wanted to live closer????? that blows my mind.
dx: PCOS, hypothroidism
Second TTGP: started meds for first cycle of tx on 10/13/21
dx: PCOS, hypothroidism
Second TTGP: started meds for first cycle of tx on 10/13/21
She definitely brings out the worst in DH, which is not good. After their last bad exchange last year she has decided to block us so that we have not been able to call and tell her about our pregnancy (she did find out via our other SIL, slightly annoying that happened, but whatever). I honestly don't know if I want her to have much of a relationship with my kid...who knows what she will say or do. She is great with her other two nieces, but terrible to their mom to the point that their mother now refuses to be in the same room with her. So she is definitely the main damper on the fun...she wasn't there at Christmas and it was honestly so much better without her.
With my DS I struggled a lot with BF, I tried a lot since day 1, I got stressed, frustrated, I cried because I felt like the worst mom ever... her best comment was "I produced lots of milk, I fed my babies and still had milk coming out, sometimes I even woke up soaked because milk didn't stopped leaking even while I slept"....
I can remember her exact words because that made me feel even worst...
I got over it few days after and convinced myself that I wasn't the worst mother because I couldn't breastfed my baby, then I relaxed and I could BF almost until his 1st birthday...
Not to freak you out, but if your MIL is like mine, expect more of those comments when baby arrives... Try to ignore everything and do whatever you feel is the best for you and your little one
dx: PCOS, hypothroidism
Second TTGP: started meds for first cycle of tx on 10/13/21
I wasn't really sure where he was going with it, but I guess it was his round about way of "warning" me that 2 is going to be crazier than 1? As though I thought going from a perfectly independent 5 year old to adding a newborn was going to be a breeze? Lol.
They are great, but it was weird and threw me off. MH wasn't home so I didn't have anyone to help me out of it either lol. FIL is known for making awkward comments like that and usually MH is around to call him out with an "OK POPS".
They really are good babysitters though, and will be trusting them with our babe, but some of the things they say.
Sounds like a lovely Family Sunday huh?
ETA after posting this I realized that now that we are moving to a larger house, she's definitely going to want us to take it again *facepalm*
@nursejenn5 wouldn't a zip tie be a nice teething hazard, too? Haha
My MIL is usually the sweetest person, super respectful of boundaries and would with no hesitation let her watch my child.
Last night MH told me he was sharing how we went for a hike over the weekend to his mom, and how I had to stop more often than usual. I'm normally in pretty good shape for a difficult hike, but with first tri fatigue I lost my cardio base and just seem out of breath lately. MIL asked "why?" And MH said it was related to pregnancy, and MIL replied "I don't know about that" with a lot of skepticism. MH said "well, mom, everybody experiences pregnancy in a different way."
I've been feeling down on myself for my eating choices and reduced exercise already, and MIL is someone I look up to health wise. Don't know why but her comment hurt my feelings! Like disproportionately so. Couldn't really share with MH because she didn't call me out in person, and I felt like I was overreacting.
people don’t need to point out their skepticism on what someone else may be feeling. That’s the worst.
Feel free to google it and passive aggressively share the link with your MIL lol.
Exercising while not feeling like you can catch your breath is SO hard, so you just do what you feel comfortable with. Please don't beat yourself up, especially over comments someone makes about their own experience being different. Maybe she's concerned and her concern comes out more accusatory than anything, but still, that was a shitty thing of her to say and she had no place to say it. You're doing great, just keep loving yourself and that bebe.
so yes, everyone experience pregnancy different so no one can really judge you... also is a good thing that your hubby supports you
😭😭 You guys are so nice and supportive, making me tear up!
My midwife said that's how a lot of runners find out they're pregnant - you just instantly can't breath as well. If you're not running intensely from the start, you probably wouldn't notice (this time I haven't been running much, so didn't notice the breathing impact nearly as early). Running trail races, it was pretty obvious something was happening right away.
This is all to say... ditto to everyone else, you don't have to be far along in pregnancy at all for breathing issues to hit you hard!
Of course I can always find something they say/do to complain about, so now here I go, lol. They're weirdly competitive with my parents and anytime we tell them something, they ALWAYS ask if my parents already know. Normally they do, but for this I purposely decided to tell the ILs first. (1. so they'd shut up about my parents knowing first and 2. I knew my parents' reaction would be more fun and I wanted to end on a high note.) So per usual, FIL asked if my parents knew, and we said not yet. Then:
FIL: Poor *insert my dad's name here.* Four daughters of his own and now another granddaughter! He's so outnumbered!
Me: Yep, he is outnumbered, but he loves it!
When we facetimed with my parents, this convo happened.
Me: Yeah, FIL said, "poor ___" when we told them
My parents, at the exact same time: Why?
Me: Because there are so many girls in our family
My dad: Yeah, but that's what I'm more comfortable with at this point. I'm happy to add another granddaughter to the family!
Take that, FIL. FIL also pissed me off when MH was telling them about my OB switching practices which would mean delivering at a different hospital if we stay with her. FIL: "Yeah but the hospital don't really make a difference, it's the doctor." Really, FIL? There are no differences between hospitals ever? OKAY. Also, you're the expert of course because you've delivered so many babies yourself. I quickly corrected him that hospitals can make a huge difference, especially when the NICU levels are different (which they are), they're different distances from our house, the support for an unmedicated birth can be different, etc etc. He's so annoying.
Wow this really turned into a DD post. Sorry, friends! haha
I had to have a come to Jesus talk with my MIL b/c her sister was, obviously, defending her b/c it was put in her head that my mom was the bad guy. MIL tried to deflect and say she wasn't sure why her sister did that ::eye roll:: Anyway, the whole thing baffles me.