I asked this in the week 4 check in, but hopefully more will see it here.
How far are you guys traveling from home to the hospital you will deliver at? I'm considering going from a hospital 30 minutes away to one that is 1.5 hours away because the standard of care at the local hospital/doctor's office is so different than what I've previously experienced. I've had two babies with long NICU stays and they don't have a nicu any closer than 1.5 hours away, and also they don't offer any genetic screenings- including NIPT or NT scan. This makes me very uncomfortable. I also know of 4 kiddos born here in the last two years who had undiagnosed defects upon delivery which required emergency transfers to larger hospitals for immediate surgeries. It all adds up to a perfect storm of anxiety for me- and DH is on board for the other hospital. I don't know why it took me until this long to put more serious thought into switching.
My hospital is like 20 minutes away but I am pretty lucky that being in a large city means there is two we’ll equipped hospitals within 30 minutes of me. I personally couldn’t go like 1.5 hours away. I would be too nervous. My mom went into labor and delivered my sister in like 2 hours. The doctor barely made it in the room. Until I knew how I personally was if he too worried I’d deliver in the car. @modoodles this isn’t your first right, I feel like you’ve mentioned your other children a lot?
@beckylookatherbump - no, this will be #5. My labors have been 12 hours (first one) through 10 hours (3rd one) and last one was a 6 hour induction at 39 weeks, when we lived an hour from the hospital.
@modoodles then go for the hospital you feel better about. Plus then you don’t have to worry about being at a different hospital from your babies. If the one we were planning on delivering at didn’t have a nicu I would probably go further away too.
@beckylookatherbump is this your first pregnancy? I lived 25 minutes from the hospital for the first three babies. That was so much nicer. I called to see about a transfer of records- this hospital would actually be the same hospital I had with my first two, although that was 14 years ago and my doctor is no longer there.
@modoodles we're only 10-15mins away.... a 1.5hr drive would make me uncomfortable just because driving/riding while in labor is the worst and I'd be worried about this labor going faster. Also, if you go into labor during the work day, you're looking at 2-3 hours before you can get there because you'll need to get parents there to get their kids and your H will have to commute back home from work.
That said, if you feel okay with the potential of the on call hospital OB delivering your baby at the other hospital and the improved care throughout the pregnancy would make you more comfortable, I say go for it.
A couple of things I would consider, though: 1- why were your other 2 in the NICU? Fluke or something likely to happen again with this LO? 2- Would the NIPT/NT results change how you proceed with the pregnancy? No need to answer this one, obviously. Just something to consider. NT looks for potential heart heart defects, but everything else is just looking for trisomies and such, right?
@blaf322 that's a good point about the delay in getting there, but I do already have a sub lined up for pregnancy related appointments and as long as she's available, there would be someone here until kids were picked up. (Shes a sahm and all my parents know/like her)
The other things you brought up were
1. The other two in the nicu were a result of a premature delivery (bedrest started at 28 weeks and delivered at 34 weeks) and then a fluke Persistent Pulmonary Hypertension in a Newborn. That one was truly terrifying because he was my 39 week induction after a super healthy pregnancy. But, I have had preterm labor with three of the pregnancies, and two were able to be stopped until full term.
2. Im ok answeing this, Yes, the NIPT/NT scans would determine how we proceed with pregnancy or if we were to continue it. Not finding out anything until the 20 week anatomy scan eliminates available choices, and that's not something I'm comfortable with.
@modoodles and other TTM+... how did the childcare situation work out for you when you went into labor with your 2nd+ babies? I'm having so much anxiety about it because I had prodromal labor with DD that started on a Friday and I didn't have her until that following Tuesday. I went to the hospital once and was sent home because I wasn't dilating. Then went back the following evening/early morning and was only admitted b/c I started sobbing when they tried to send me home again to labor a little longer there...they had offered me pain and sleeping meds to go home with the first time but didn't feel comfortable sending me home with that combo this time (hence the sobbing) so they admitted me to give those to me/let me get some sleep... then I had her MOTN the next night/early the following day.
I'm so worried about thinking I'm in labor, getting my ILs or my bestie (depending on time of day) to come to hang out until my mom can get there (she's 1-2 hrs away, depending on which house they're at) but then having it just be false labor again. Just wondering how subsequent kiddos went for you.
@modoodles so then, another thing to consider... time is of the essence if you're likely to go into preterm labor. Would you just go to the close hospital in that case? Or make the drive each time? If you feel good about whatever the answer to that question is, definitely switch! Also, in case you missed it, see my question above. Really interested in your experience since you dealt with pre-term labor.
@blaf322 oh that sounds awful! Hopefully labor goes much better for you this time! With my 2nd, my mom and sisters all lived within 15 minutes of me, so that was easy. With the third, I was three hours away from my family and had a really wonderful "grandma-type" coworker/friend who offered to come anytime day or night until my mom could get there. My kids were actually spending a weekend with my mom when I had #3, so it just worked out. With #4, I had a scheduled induction, so my mom was there the night before to stay with kids.
Im.not worried this time, because oldest dd can babysit until someone is here with them. Or, they may be at their dad's house because our summer schedule is opposite from the rest of the year and they are only home for weekends during the summer.
@modoodles Thanks! I think I'm just going to get a few people lined up as possibilities and call whoever makes most sense based on time of day.... that's the most challenging part for us. MIL can't physically help with DD b/c she can't get upstairs to her room and FIL goes out drinking on the weekends/nights these bands he likes play somewhere so they're not ideal then. Other friends already have multiple kids so they couldn't transport her anywhere. I'm just hoping I go into labor when DD is in school or during the day on a weekend so we can drop her off with our friend that lives close by.
Random not related to tiny humans - Has anyone here ever refinanced a loan that led to you getting quite a bit of $ back at the cost of a slightly higher monthly rate and slightly higher interest? Trying to figure out if there is a catch here...
@pocketrose my feeling on this is that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. That said, we've only refinanced our home to take advantage of lower interest rates and to be able to decrease the length of the loan during that time, so that wasn't our experience.
@modoodles I live 30-40 minutes from my hospital(there’s two that are closer but I don’t work at those two😉) my advice to our outliers (since were high risk we get a ton of people 1-2 hours away) is to go with where you’re comfortable but if an emergency arrives or if the baby is coming NOW then to go to wherever to closest. And they can transfer your records.
@blaf322 My sister, mom, and I (and other relatives if need be) devised a plan for my nephew for when she goes into labor (she’s due in February) if she has time and is planning on going to the hospital early then she can drop him off at one of our houses on the way(it’s quicker than us meeting at they’re house in the opposite direction) or if she’s going fast and furious we will meet them at the hospital and take my nephew back to his or one of our houses.
@modoodles when do you have to decide? I have to preregister at the hospital I plan to use, but can show up at any hospital when the time comes (within the Kaiser system... not actually just any hospital). I was induced at 41 weeks for both my kids, so getting there was like checking into a hotel - a 1.5 hour drive wouldn’t have mattered. But like @blaf322 says, I wouldn’t want to do that drive while in labor. So seems like a hard call to make at this point.
@blaf322 being induced also makes childcare arrangements pretty easy but I realize that’s not how it goes for most people! My dad took my daughter for two nights when I was induced. This time I might have one of my parents stay at my house since there’s two of them, it might just be easier than dealing with everything somewhere else. If I were you, I’d want to have a few options - but maybe tell those people that they’re your only option, so you don’t risk them all being unavailable because they thought you’d have someone else to help. Or have them be the for sure option for certain days, certain times of day, etc.
@Pascal86 I went ahead and called the new place and they said to transfer records and when they recieve them they will review and then call to schedule. So I called my current clinic and asked them to transfer. They said no problem. I just waited two hours and called the new place and they hadn't received anything yet, so I called the place I'm leaving and asked what their time frame was for transferring records. She said 10-14 days. Then she looked it up, and they didnt even have noted that I had called and requested the transfer. I had the time I called and the lady's name in records who I spoke with. I was pretty upset. No. I'm supposed to have an appointment next week. The new place needs those records so they can schedule. So the second lady said she would fax them today. Their lack of organization over something this simple has really solidified that I don't want to be there.
@Pascal86 I'll have to be up on who has plans around my EDD (7/5) because I'm worried lots of people will be out of town... I don't feel like I can ask everyone not to travel then.
My mom and IL's will be locked in for sure with not traveling and I just spoke with a good friend who said they don't have any plans for the 4th and she'll take DD/have a sleepover if needed, so that's good. Plus my bestie if they're not out of town then... and I'll probably be extra psycho about it and ask a friend that doesn't have kids plus one close friend that lives in our neighborhood and their DD is in the same daycare and class as ours.. so, although their work schedules are really tough, they could make a morning or after work situation work... and would definitely let us drop off if needed too.
re hospital distance....I live 10 mins from a good hospital with a NICU but didn’t love having my oldest there. They were a little too quick to jump to interventions. I planned to have #2 at a freestanding birth center 30 mins from home but gestational diabetes messed that up and I risked out. Luckily there’s a great hospital right across the street with a higher level NICU So I had #2 there using the midwife group from the birth center. This time I plan to do the same (or maybe use the birth center if I don’t risk out), but I changed jobs and with traffic it’s over an hour from work(30 Mins from home). I am not too worried because I’ve always had to be induced for medical reasons and my labors have lasted 20ish hours each. So I figure even if I go into labor on my own this time I will have time to get there. Hopefully! In the end my experience at the further hospital was so much better and makes the added distance totally worth it.
Planned inductions make the whole childcare situation a lot easier, we just had my mom come stay with our son while we went to the hospital, but I would say maybe have some backup people on call....maybe a local sitter or two who you could call in the middle of the night and stay until parents or other relatives can say get there.
@blaf322 holy shit your post literally made my heart skip a beat... phew it’s not the brand I’ve been housing the last few weeks. But damn I would never have thought about listeria risk for ramen noodles! Wtf!
@blaf322 this made me worry as well I’ve been living off ramen more than most other things. But that doesn’t look like the 12 cent packages I usually buy 😂
@modoodles while a 1.5 hour car ride while in labor doesn’t sound ideal, I completely understand wanting to be at a hospital with a NICU, especially when you’ve had that experience before.
*potential TW* My daughter was born in a hospital with a level 3 NICU, but like the others you mentioned, she had a previously undiagnosed defect which required immediate surgery. She ended up having to be transferred to another hospital about 30 mins away for the surgery. Fortunately my doctor came and discharged me early so I could go too, but we still had to drive separately from the ambulance she was in. When we were frantically trying to figure out where to park at the new hospital I had to give consent over the phone for them to perform surgery because “it could be life threatening if left untreated.” Luckily we managed to see her for a minute before she went back for surgery, but it was still awful not knowing if we would be able to. All that to say, I would want to be in the same hospital if this baby needed a NICU stay for whatever reason, so I think the longer drive is worth it for peace of mind.
@blaf322 I’m avoiding thinking about what we’re going to do with DD when I go into labor because it gives me anxiety. ha we don’t have any family around... I think my mom will probably just come to stay with us about a week before my due date (she’s a teacher so she’ll be off for the summer), but if baby comes before then, no clue. I should probably work on a backup plan. 😬
I am planning on going to the hospital about 20-30 minutes away (depending on traffic). I delivered my first two there and was pleased with our experience. They have a great NICU which we needed with my first who was a 32 weeker. However, my second delivery was very fast, like nearly had him in the car fast!
Fortunately there is another hospital with a NICU about 10 minutes away with no highway travel. The NICU there is also very good. My oldest was transferred at 4 days old and spent 4 weeks there. It's one level lower as they don't do respiratory treatments. So it's not my first choice but better than the side of 95!
If it's the middle of a work day the firemen at the station down the street will probably get my 911 call! Yikes! I really need to prep for the possibility of a home birth!
As for childcare when I go into labor that's a little tough. My husband and Mom work in the same city as my hospital so it'd be a bit of a wait for them. My brothers and Dad all work a bit closer so if it's a week day they'll be my go to. Both times I've gone into labor in the middle of the night. Actually both were a Sunday night! I'm hoping that's the case this time. I have plenty of family that lives close so they can watch the boys.
@blaf322 I think that all totally makes sense - maybe not 100% necessary, but I’d feel so much better to have a backup and backup backup plan just so I didn’t have to stress about it during the third trimester.
My hospital is also where I work, about 20-25 minutes away. My DS had a short NICU stay, though they’re not technically “officially” a NICU. I believe it’s officially called a special care nursery. In case of a true emergency, I live less than 5 minutes away from another hospital that has L&D and a NICU. I would go there if insurance didn’t fully cover me at the other hospital!
Sorry for the scare, y'all! I was going to include a whole... "it's not the cheapy ones" thing, but DD was acting like a threenager and I just didn't have time lol @nursejenn5 I'm also safe with the cheapy packs I've been eating as a staple part of my diet lol
I just do not love any of the nursery furniture or theme ideas I've been able to find. With DD, I was so smitten with her nursery and furniture but with this one I'm just like, "meh" on everything. I must just love girl stuff better lol.
STM+ show me your baby boy nursery for some inspo if you have a second
@blaf322 we are team green, but here are my nursery Inspo pins.. of course the crib our friends want to give us is definitely not like any of these. It's a beautiful, big, white, sleigh-style crib. I tend to go more simple.
I’m not a STM but I think this is what I’m planning. Then will add appropriate colors for whatever gender baby is! (Were big outdoorsy, hiking, camping people. Also my mountains are not gonna look that good😂)
Love these nursery pics! Gets me so excited 😊 Also, my heart skipped a beat too see the ramen noodle thing but I’ve also been doing the cheapies as well. Sorry I’ve been a bit here and there lately! I’m just really struggling. I’ll be better soon! Zofran is here and will hopefully be my saving grace!
@modoodles haha... I definitely have some of those pinned too. I'm leaning towards that look but then never pull the trigger b/c my biggest issue with those cribs is none of them (that I've found) are convertible. I don't want to have to deal with kid furniture for a very long time (if ever again lol). I haven't looked super hard for the furniture yet... but everything I've seen is so heavy looking. Not necessarily weight (though, I'm sure they're actually heavy) but just a heavy feel... prob like the crib your friend is offering.
@blaf322 I understand that! I used a toddler bed with my older two kiddos, but the younger two went right from a crib to a twin bed that we attached a side rail to, if that's an option for you guys. Ok, so actually, with my third we tried a toddler bed but he didnt like it and kept getting in bed with his older brother, so getting him a twin bed solved that problem 😂
We did red, white, and blue (mostly red and blue) baseball accents with DS. We have a gray crib and dresser we got at target. Not super bulky or expensive. I think it was by Delta Children and convertible. I am so not into the large amounts of white stuff...children are messy. 🤣
@nursejenn5 the trick with painters tape is after you put it down paint over the edges with the color of the wall behind it so that any bleed through Is just wall color. Then don’t pull the tape up and paint whatever mountain color you want to paint. Otherwise it will bleed no matter what type of paint or tape you try.
Re: Weekly Randoms w/o 12/30
How far are you guys traveling from home to the hospital you will deliver at? I'm considering going from a hospital 30 minutes away to one that is 1.5 hours away because the standard of care at the local hospital/doctor's office is so different than what I've previously experienced. I've had two babies with long NICU stays and they don't have a nicu any closer than 1.5 hours away, and also they don't offer any genetic screenings- including NIPT or NT scan. This makes me very uncomfortable. I also know of 4 kiddos born here in the last two years who had undiagnosed defects upon delivery which required emergency transfers to larger hospitals for immediate surgeries. It all adds up to a perfect storm of anxiety for me- and DH is on board for the other hospital. I don't know why it took me until this long to put more serious thought into switching.
That said, if you feel okay with the potential of the on call hospital OB delivering your baby at the other hospital and the improved care throughout the pregnancy would make you more comfortable, I say go for it.
A couple of things I would consider, though:
1- why were your other 2 in the NICU? Fluke or something likely to happen again with this LO?
2- Would the NIPT/NT results change how you proceed with the pregnancy? No need to answer this one, obviously. Just something to consider. NT looks for potential heart heart defects, but everything else is just looking for trisomies and such, right?
The other things you brought up were
1. The other two in the nicu were a result of a premature delivery (bedrest started at 28 weeks and delivered at 34 weeks) and then a fluke Persistent Pulmonary Hypertension in a Newborn. That one was truly terrifying because he was my 39 week induction after a super healthy pregnancy. But, I have had preterm labor with three of the pregnancies, and two were able to be stopped until full term.
2. Im ok answeing this, Yes, the NIPT/NT scans would determine how we proceed with pregnancy or if we were to continue it. Not finding out anything until the 20 week anatomy scan eliminates available choices, and that's not something I'm comfortable with.
I'm having so much anxiety about it because I had prodromal labor with DD that started on a Friday and I didn't have her until that following Tuesday. I went to the hospital once and was sent home because I wasn't dilating. Then went back the following evening/early morning and was only admitted b/c I started sobbing when they tried to send me home again to labor a little longer there...they had offered me pain and sleeping meds to go home with the first time but didn't feel comfortable sending me home with that combo this time (hence the sobbing) so they admitted me to give those to me/let me get some sleep... then I had her MOTN the next night/early the following day.
I'm so worried about thinking I'm in labor, getting my ILs or my bestie (depending on time of day) to come to hang out until my mom can get there (she's 1-2 hrs away, depending on which house they're at) but then having it just be false labor again. Just wondering how subsequent kiddos went for you.
Im.not worried this time, because oldest dd can babysit until someone is here with them. Or, they may be at their dad's house because our summer schedule is opposite from the rest of the year and they are only home for weekends during the summer.
I think I'm just going to get a few people lined up as possibilities and call whoever makes most sense based on time of day.... that's the most challenging part for us. MIL can't physically help with DD b/c she can't get upstairs to her room and FIL goes out drinking on the weekends/nights these bands he likes play somewhere so they're not ideal then. Other friends already have multiple kids so they couldn't transport her anywhere. I'm just hoping I go into labor when DD is in school or during the day on a weekend so we can drop her off with our friend that lives close by.
@blaf322 being induced also makes childcare arrangements pretty easy but I realize that’s not how it goes for most people! My dad took my daughter for two nights when I was induced. This time I might have one of my parents stay at my house since there’s two of them, it might just be easier than dealing with everything somewhere else. If I were you, I’d want to have a few options - but maybe tell those people that they’re your only option, so you don’t risk them all being unavailable because they thought you’d have someone else to help. Or have them be the for sure option for certain days, certain times of day, etc.
My mom and IL's will be locked in for sure with not traveling and I just spoke with a good friend who said they don't have any plans for the 4th and she'll take DD/have a sleepover if needed, so that's good. Plus my bestie if they're not out of town then... and I'll probably be extra psycho about it and ask a friend that doesn't have kids plus one close friend that lives in our neighborhood and their DD is in the same daycare and class as ours.. so, although their work schedules are really tough, they could make a morning or after work situation work... and would definitely let us drop off if needed too.
*potential TW* My daughter was born in a hospital with a level 3 NICU, but like the others you mentioned, she had a previously undiagnosed defect which required immediate surgery. She ended up having to be transferred to another hospital about 30 mins away for the surgery. Fortunately my doctor came and discharged me early so I could go too, but we still had to drive separately from the ambulance she was in. When we were frantically trying to figure out where to park at the new hospital I had to give consent over the phone for them to perform surgery because “it could be life threatening if left untreated.” Luckily we managed to see her for a minute before she went back for surgery, but it was still awful not knowing if we would be able to. All that to say, I would want to be in the same hospital if this baby needed a NICU stay for whatever reason, so I think the longer drive is worth it for peace of mind.
Fortunately there is another hospital with a NICU about 10 minutes away with no highway travel. The NICU there is also very good. My oldest was transferred at 4 days old and spent 4 weeks there. It's one level lower as they don't do respiratory treatments. So it's not my first choice but better than the side of 95!
If it's the middle of a work day the firemen at the station down the street will probably get my 911 call! Yikes! I really need to prep for the possibility of a home birth!
As for childcare when I go into labor that's a little tough. My husband and Mom work in the same city as my hospital so it'd be a bit of a wait for them. My brothers and Dad all work a bit closer so if it's a week day they'll be my go to. Both times I've gone into labor in the middle of the night. Actually both were a Sunday night! I'm hoping that's the case this time. I have plenty of family that lives close so they can watch the boys.
@nursejenn5 I'm also safe with the cheapy packs I've been eating as a staple part of my diet lol
STM+ show me your baby boy nursery for some inspo if you have a second