Randoms (Dec 28th- Jan4th)

sunshinesea22

@pirateduck So much could be done with that money! I want to know where we’ll find it because it’s not like we have that just floating around/blowing it every month on a lavish lifestyle!

catem07

Everyone who is eligible and who is using childcare that's eligible signed up for a dependent care FSA I hope? You can save about $1000 that way, depending on your tax bracket. 

ETA: eligible childcare is anyone you are paying over the table, even if it's extended family or a nanny. They have to declare the income, though. 

heyybritt

@pirateduck @sunshinesea22 I made the mistake of looking at a few daycares just before bed the other evening. When I told MH the prices he was shocked, I don't think he had realized how expensive it truly was. Neither of us slept well that night 😂

ETA happy new year everyone!

catem07

@heyybritt It's so hard. And a lot of places don't even make their prices easily available, so it's hard to plan when you're thinking about having kids.  

heyybritt

@catem07 exactly, i'd love to know prices up front so I wouldn't waste my time or theirs if it's not in my price range but some of them certainly make that difficult.

ruby696

We will have three kids (two infants) for a year in day care. They'll go three days a week and it will cost about $2500 a month. However, I cannot say enough about the day care my kids go to and I feel like I would be depriving them of an amazing experience if we made them stay home with a nanny. Day care isn't for everyone, but if you can find a great one and swing the price, you'll see your kids absolutely thrive. My big kids have learned SO much and made so many close friends. I couldn't justify the babies missing out. So we'll eat top ramen or something for a year, but it will be worth it. 

catem07

@ruby696 I've loved both our daycares. My daughter has learned so much! Definitely more than she'd have learned if I stayed home with her. If we went for a third kid one day I thought about getting an au pair but I would hate to pull my kids out of their structured daycare environments where they are learning a lot. 

ETA: Full-time 0-15m tuition at our center in Boston is now $400/week. 15m to 2.9y is $375, and pre-k is $250. In Southern Midcoast Maine we pay $202 for a 2.5yo+. 12m-2.5yo is $242 and 0-12m is $252.   

sunshinesea22

@catem07 I was just thinking about that pretax deduction. We have to look into it. MH is going to require a lot of reminders to email his HR before I will get any answers from him 😂

catem07

And a subject change...I wish more people on this board would use signatures. I forget who our multiple/ftm/stm+/etc. moms are and signatures help with that. 

If you're not using one because you don't know how but want to, let us know! I actually would have to look it up because I forget but I could do that. Or someone else probably knows. 

ruby696

@catem07 I'm on mobile most of the time and I don't think you can see/do signatures on mobile?

catem07

@ruby696 yeah you can’t AFAIK. I hate mobile TB so I rarely use it to comment (except right now...)

pirateduck

@catem07 I can't sign up for the child care savings account until baby is born since I don't have kiddos yet, but I did sign up for the healthcare savings account so that when I give birth and have to pay my absurd deductible at least it will be pre-tax dollars.  I've never done a health savings account before, but when you know you're gonna max your insurance it makes financial sense and you can change your contribution amount later if you don't want to keep putting so much money in once baby is born.

pirateduck

Hmm...  I used to have a signature, but apparently don't anymore, I'll have to look at that.

sunshinesea22

I can’t find the original post and it wasn’t in our Maternity clothes feed, but I think it was @rox7777 who recommended the I love Sia nursing bras for budget friendly, comfy bras. I ended up ordering them and I wore one today. They are very comfy and came with a cute delicates bag for washing and the little band extender things with extra hooks. I’m glad I got some because my expanded rib cage is not working in my old bras anymore. Each bra breaks down to about $8 each so it’s a good buy.

https://www.amazon.com/iLoveSIA-Womens-Nursing-Seamless-Maternity/dp/B07CPKZNFD

Edit: added correct link

drkoyya

@catem07 I’ve been wondering how y’all have signatures but couldn’t figure it out. I bounce between mobile and online but I’m on the mobile app most. 

Side note: I just picked up my childhood books from my mom to put in the baby’s room. It’s literally the only thing in there but I’m IN LOVE. I get to pass down my name and my childhood memories to my son 🥰 DH husband is going to start reading to baby at night, that’s the reason I picked them up from my mom so early

sunshinesea22

@catem07 I don’t even see signatures from anyone, but I do all my bumping on the app, so maybe they don’t show up here? I suppose I could just add FTM to all my comments as a reminder?

sunshinesea22

Also update from my earlier comment about the dependent FSA. MH actually knew what I was talking about and had the answers already. But we have to wait til baby is born to have a life event to open an account. My employer doesn’t offer them, apparently they are not available unless your employer has it as a benefit option.

brettanomyces

It’s an unfortunate flaw of TB that you don’t see sigs on the app. I used to bump on laptop and sigs are so helpful to get to know people. 

catem07

Ah for some reason I thought you had to do dependent care FSA during open enrollment. I forgot about the life event thing. But good to know you all have time! I highly recommend it if you have the benefit from your employer (and yes, it's pretty awful that it's only available to people who have that benefit from their employer...)

catem07

@sunshinesea22 No need to do that! 

shamrocandroll

@sunshinesea22 On the bright side, it wouldn't matter if you had it available through your work as well.  It's a max of $5k per year, regardless of whether only one of you or both of you have the benefit.  Sadly it also doesn't go up if you have 2 kids.  But, it definitely does help!  I am used to it at this point, so I don't really notice the money missing from my paycheck, and then at the end of the year, I get a $5k reimbursement check.  It's also important to note you still have to pay the money upfront and then it's reimbursed at the end of the year after you've fully paid into it.  But every little bit helps!  

@pirateduck I also just started a HSA for the first time this year and I've liked it a lot!  It's a lot like the childcare FSA in that I don't even notice the money being taken out, but I can just pay for my healthcare costs with that card now and it doesn't feel like real money.  Even though it is.  The only down side is it's only available as you accumulate it, so I'm not totally sure how it will work next year when I've only accumulated about half of my max out of pocket.  I'll probably put it on a payment plan and have them take it out as it accumulates for the balance of the year.  Unless it takes 10 freaking months for them to fully bill me again, like it did for DS.  In which case, I should be all set, haha.  ALSO, have you heard any updates on your test results yet???????

pirateduck

@shamrocandroll there are two different types of HSA and what you are eligible for depends on your primary health insurance.  One will only pay out as you accumulate, so like you I will only have half the amount but it’s about $3500 I think.

and yes!  You missed it, I got me results one day shy of a month later and baby is healthy!  Baby is a carrier like me and husband, so one bad copy of the gene and one good one, which means no ill effects, no special treatment, normal lifespan, NormaL everything!  I now officially have a normal pregnancy and am passed everything.  Normal AS last week as well.

pirateduck

@shamrocandroll are you gonna tell people about your pregnancy soon or did I miss that too?

catem07

@sunshinesea22 @shamrocandroll For our dependent care FSA, you can pull money out as you put it in (which happens whenever you get paid), we don't have to wait until the end of the year (but you can't take the money out before you've put it in). I used to reimburse us monthly. Now we use it like a forced savings vehicle and pull it at the end of the year, but when we have our second I'll need the money monthly again. 

ruby696

My DCFSA starts getting reimbursed as soon as I send in the proof of payment. My day care provider also provides a statement saying how much I pay monthly. Last year, I started receiving reimbursement checks every other week because I sent the forms in early. This year I might wait until fall and get the full amount in one check. 

drkoyya

Related to child care... money has been super tight in our household. Simultaneously trying to budget for baby and rebound from financial insecurities in 2018. DH and I have been slumming it this week waiting for payday (today). Looks like my paycheck is late this month 😤🤬

m6agua

I'm going to make a separate thread for child care so we can discuss at even more length.

lisush

@pirateduck thanks for the additional update! I missed it too and was wondering if you had results yet. Glad to hear there's nothing to worry about!

mokay19

I’m just getting to the Randoms now and can’t catch up... but @m6agua if this thread discusses how to use my dependent spending account, then I’m pro a new thread haha this will be my first year doing it!

shamrocandroll

Yes, sorry... I can pull it out earlier than that, but I like waiting until the end of the year to get one big check, personally.

@pirateduck YAY!!!!  I am so so relieved for you!!!  And yes!  We put an announcement on the back of our Christmas card, and I made an official social media announcement yesterday!

pirateduck

@shamrocandroll perfect!  We are going to take a photo to post and personally send to some people this week.  I'm finally excited about talking about it and think I might be able to manage without crying.  Some close friends and family know, but far from everyone.

sunshinesea22

@shamrocandroll Your post made me cry, the good kind of way 😭💜

pirateduck

So I was thinking about a baby shower.  I honestly don't know what to do in terms of location.  A co-worker wants to throw me a work shower, which is kinda normal where I work, and will be at work somewhere with an open invite for any employees that want to attend.  I have worked at the same place for 8 years, so know a good chunk of the staff.  Of course I would like to do something with close friends and family.  Do I try and combine this with the work shower or have a separate shower?  Also, I have lived here 15 years, this is home to me, this is where my friends are, but NONE of my family or my husband's family lives here.  How do I include them?  They don't all live in the same place or near each other either, so there's not really a central location where most family is even a half day car ride away.  Do I just invite them out here and those that want to fly out can?  Also this means a date needs to be set soon in case there are people that would actually want to fly out.  I feel like I need to at least include my mom and my sister somehow, but this all seems logistically difficult.  I do plan to talk to my sister about this too, I will see her soon.  I know there are others on here that don't live near family and would love some feedback.

mokay19

@pirateduck when I lived halfway across the country from my family, my sisters and mom had me choose a good weekend to fly home and they threw a shower there with all family and friends from back home and anyone that wanted to travel there.  It worked well.  If I were you, I would definitely talk to your sister and/or parents and ask if they have any shower plans.  I've never had someone in my life IRL plan their own baby shower, but I have heard of it being done.  I would also be open to the possibility of you traveling to family for your shower because if they're throwing the party, it might be more convenient to be by them... especially if a chunk of the family lives there. 
Disclaimer: I have no idea what your distances to everyone are.

pirateduck

@mokay19 I do not necessarily intend to throw my own shower, but I do want to be sure that people who care will be included.  The thing is there is no "home" to fly to.  My parents and siblings (and aunts for that matter) all have moved to different parts of the country (places I have never lived).  I'm in CO, I have family in NJ, upstate NY, ID, FL, and NC, and that's like one or two people in each state, not a bunch of them all in one, so yeah, everyone is really spread out.

mokay19

@pirateduck yea, that's tough.  I would recommend talking to your sister and mom to see what they're thinking.  They could possibly work on a date from afar with one of your local friends and then just invite everyone but whoever comes comes.  But if they're invited, they'll feel included at least.  But I totally agree with you that you should try to get them to figure out a date sooner rather than later just in case people do want to travel for it.

catem07

@pirateduck I had 3 showers with my first. One at my church where I lived (most of my friends were from church and I invited a few non-church local people too), one thrown by my MIL with her family/friends where she lives, and one thrown by my mom with her family/friends where she lived (and I grew up). In your position I’d have a work shower if someone at work is planning that and a local shower that people can travel to if they want. 

mamaj1220

@catem07 I forgot how to siggy so if you can direct me I will add one  

drkoyya

@pirateduck I’ve been having similar questions about baby shower, but different issues. 

DH & I picked a date and narrowed down on a guest list. Then this morning he randomly asked me if I planned I’m having multiple baby showers. Which got me thinking... I wanted to just be one and done at the house. Everyone in our lives is within 20 miles so it’s a hefty guest list (~90 people). Now I’m thinking we should doing one shower with my side and then one shower with DH side. That would mean we’d have to find someone to offer to host for DH’s side. That would also mean we’d have two showers where I’m the center of attention which I’m not keen on. Thoughts? 

ruby696

I just found the bag of peanut butter m&m's I bought MH for a stocking stuffer. I. Am. So. Excited. I ate an avocado and had a protein shake so I wouldn't feel bad. Now I plan to enjoy his candy!