Tw still have no idea what's happening.

jhysmath

I figured I'd start my own thread as I'll likely need a place to say good bye. 

If you haven't been following along the ob I saw Tuesday for my dating US thinks I might have a partial molar pregnancy. I went back in today for another US and beta draw and he sent me home telling me to talk to MH and call him tonight with a decision but he'd be holding a room in the Or for a D&C tomorrow. 

45 minutes into my 1.5 hour drive home the OB called me and said my beta came back lower by about 20,000 which isn't what he was expecting, he assumed it was going to be astronomically high because of how long they had it being analyzed and then they had to dilute it because the machine wouldn't read it. He said he doesn't know what that means and he heard back from the high risk doctor at dartmouth who advised I don't follow through with the D&C until I see her and she runs her own ultrasound.

So I don't know where this leaves us. Still in limbo. I've decided I'm talking tomorrow off as the OB is going to call me in the morning about the referral and I'm hoping to be able to talk to the specialist to find out what she's seeing that she doesn't think I should terminate. 

Talking over everything with MH he says we've been through this before DD and we can handle it and if waiting means we get another perfect one like DD then so be it. He understands my hesitation in terminating a fetus that is still alive but doesn't want to prolong or attachment if the end result will still be a D&C. I'm in the same boat, if it's over I want it to be over, but I can't stop thinking about DDs pregnancy when I was told I was having a miscarriage and then came back a week later to discuss my options because I hadn't miscarried on my own yet and they found her heartbeat when I asked for them to check one last time. I also keep thinking about the states that won't let you abort a fetus with a heartbeat even though it must likely won't survive.

So that's an update. I have no idea what is going on. 

ruby696

@jhysmath sending all the creepy internet hugs right now. What a (terrible) rollar coaster. I'm hoping so hard you get good news from the specialist - I know you're just summarizing these visits, but the OB really seemed to be pushing termination. I'm so glad you're going to get a second opinion from someone more qualified. ❤❤

allie456

@jhysmath what an experience! I'm so sorry for all the uncertainty. It definitely seems like a second opinion is needed. Hang in there.

shamrocandroll

I'm so so so sorry for all of this @jhysmath. I know the high risk OB there (personally, not as a patient) and I've heard amazing things. I'm hoping for a miracle for you. Also, we may pass on the hallways if you do go in tomorrow. 

soprano19

@jhysmath I am so sorry for all of this jerking around. It’s so hard to prepare for the worst while hoping for the best, because one inevitably wins out in your brain. I hope you’re able to talk to the specialist tomorrow and that you get some clear, good news.

jhysmath

@shamrocandroll I won't be going in tomorrow as he's not sending the referral until tomorrow morning. I'm hoping to talk to her on the phone to be able to ask what is she seeing that says not to abort where the other OB says he's 99% sure it's a partial molar but can't be 100% because the only way to be 100% is to do pathology after the d&c

And thank you all for your well wishes and thoughts. I'm now going to be the talk of our little town because I left work today at noon without notice and I'm taking tomorrow off for myself. 

pirateduck

Ugh...  the uncertainty is the worst.  I understand the feeling of just wanting it to be over if it is not viable.  I also understand the feeling of not wanting to terminate just yet.  The best choice right now is likely wait some and see what happens.  See what the high risk doctor has to think.  See if there are other tests to be run.  See if your body begins to recognize things as bad or see if things improve.  Give it a few days or a week.  The doctors now have a baseline ultrasound and Bloodwork that they can compare to and learn if things are progressing normally or not over a certain period of time.  Hang in there.  Today you are still pregnant.  

rachelg777

@jhyamath I’m so sorry things are still in limbo. I hope you get to speak with the OB tomorrow and get some answers. Thinking of you!!

allywat

What a difficult situation. Thinking of you tomorrow as you talk to the specialist. 

mdfarmchick

@jhysmath first of all, I am so so sorry. Secondly, that OB seriously ticks me off for you. He sounds like he has a non-existent bedside manner. I am so glad you can follow up with the specialist and I am holding out hope for you. Big creepy internet hugs. Please keep us posted. I’m praying for you. 

newmomtx06

 I am so sorry @jhysmath. Hoping that you receive the good news. Hopefully the specialist can help ease your mind. I cannot imagine how you are feeling right now on this roller coaster ride. 

bananapanda

@jhysmath I'm so sorry you are in this difficult situation.  Your OB sounds crappy so I am glad you are talking to a specialist.  I hope she is able to give you some answers that will give you peace of mind in whatever route this takes you.

splashmountain

@jhysmath I hate that you're going through this. I can imagine what a mess of emotions you are right now. Like your H said, you've been through a similar situation before and you survived. I'm hoping that you get another perfect miracle baby. Hang in there and take care of yourself. Hopefully you're able to talk to the specialist today. Sending lots of hugs

m6agua

@jhysmath I am so sorry that you are going through this. Limbo is so hard. I hope you are able to talk to the high-risk OB and get some preliminary information before you go in to see her. I am guessing that all of the OB's you have talked to know your history about your pregnancy with DD? I'm guessing the things that happened there could be useful information for them to know. Sending virtual hugs.

drkoyya

This is an incredibly difficult situation. I’m sorry that you have to go through this roller coaster again with this pregnancy. I hope that you have a good and insightful conversation with the high risk OB today. 

stella_700

@jhysmath Thinking of you this morning. I hope that you get a chance to speak with the Dartmouth high risk specialist this morning so that you can be as informed as possible before going into the scan appointment on Monday. FX for a good outcome for you and little one.

chewie5990

I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this difficult situation. I hope you can find peace soon whatever the outcome may be. 

mokay19

@jhysmath thinking of you today and hopefully you’re able to have a good talk with the high risk OB. I’m so so sorry that you’re going through this but I’m hoping for the best! So many creepy hugs!

shanana_3

Thinking of you today. I don’t post much but I wanted to let you know my doctor also suspected mine to be a molar pregnancy. I was devastated and had to wait 3 days till they could do the bloodwork and ultrasound. I was so depressed and felt exactly like you, if it’s over I just want it to be over. But they did the ultrasound and the little bean had a heartbeat and was growing. So don’t give up hope. Big creepy internet hugs to you today. 

heyybritt

Wishing you all the best and hoping you have a positive and informative conversation today. So sorry you are going through this but know we are all thinking of you here.

jhysmath

So not really an update, I've talked to the appointment person at dartmouth. I asked if I could talk to the mfm before making an appointment and was told I'm not her patient yet so I can't. I explained how we feel that the ob is 99% sure it isn't viable and I wanted to know why she thinks I should still come in, the appointment person did when she talked to the mfm that she said if it's a wanted pregnancy it's worth another look with their high resolution ultrasound but she can't guarantee any news that's different.

I've been spending my day reading studies and can't find anything that has a placenta that looks like mine did not even the partial molar pregnancy photos looked like it. I really have no idea what to do. My first miscarriage was so much easier it just happened on its own the day after finding an empty sac at 10 weeks. I didn't have to decide to abort a fetus that's still alive because it might not be viable. 

jhysmath

@shanana_3 why did the suspect it to be molar? Was the placenta like a lump? The fetus is of the right size and has a heartbeat. 

pirateduck

@jhysmath your pregnancy is clearly very much wanted.  They are covering all bases because it would be a tragic mistake if you were advised to possibly terminate a healthy pregnancy.  I know it is taking extra time, and creating more worry, but this is definitely a good step to take.  Hang in there.  At my RE’s office, with my loss, at the first suspicious ultrasound, the tech told me what she believed she saw that caused her concern, then she told me she was going to bring in someone else for another look/opinion and said that it was standard practice in these sorts of situations.  The images then went to another doctor, so a third opinion, and then scans were repeated again a week later.  I hated the waiting and uncertainty and dreading the worst, but I felt like I was getting the attention and care I needed and that nothing would be missed and no mistakes would be made.  It didn’t make me feel much better at the time, but looking back I know that we did all we could do and the doctors were thorough in the case of a much wanted pregnancy.  I do not have any regrets in the way things were ultimately handled.

mdfarmchick

@jhysmath I hope you made the appointment. I am glad that someone is giving you the care that you deserve. The OB you have dealt with has been absolutely awful to you. I would take the MFM over someone who just throws something at you and leaves the room. @pirateduck has some good points as well. 

soprano19

@jhysmath I'm sorry you're still in limbo.

spiderlover25

@jhysmath I’m just catching up and saw this. I’m sorry you’re struggling with no real answers. It it does sound like the MFM is trying to give you as much info as possible. I hope you get clarity soon.

louessbee

@jhysmath I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope you have the appointment now and you can get some more clear information from the MFM.

mrswifeytoad

So many hugs and prayers! 

shanana_3

@jhysmath he suspected a molar because my uterus was too small and my nausea and vomiting were out of control. He had my blood work already and I know he looked at it but if there was something in there, he didn’t say. I was vomiting the entire visit so it was very hard to focus. I had not had an US yet so he didn’t say anything about my placenta. When I went the US tech wasn’t any help either, she told me she couldn’t answer any of my questions I would have to wait for the doctor. I was measuring small but baby had a heartbeat. The limbo is the worst, but I hope that call from the specialist was a blessing. 

adventuresawait2

@jhysmath Thinking of you and hoping you get good care from here on. 

mamaqdubu

@jhysmath I’m so sorry to read all of this. I’m just catching up. I hope you get some clarity over the next few days. All the hugs to you. 

jhysmath

I've been avoiding the bump as I haven't gotten any other information and pretty much set it in my head that this was all over. I had to reschedule the dartmouth appointment for next week because MH couldn't make it today and I didn't want to go alone so I have that appointment a week from today. 

I've finally caught up with the ob at our practice after sending him a lengthy message asking for two more beta draws. (I'm not sure if I mentioned at 9 weeks I was at 93k and then at 9+2 73k) I figured if my betas were dropping and I was going to miscarry that I would just cancel my dartmouth appointment, but I wanted to get two more draws here at our lab because I want to see if it's they're lab messing up or not. When I talked to the ob today he was telling me he doesn't want me to have the d&c and that we should do more tests because the betas dropping now makes him think maybe this was a twin pregnancy because betas dropping you don't normally see with a live fetus. He's also going to call the harmony 21 company to find out if they can run that test to see if the fetus has 69 chromosomes which is what happens in partial molar pregnancies. He doesn't know if they can do that or not, but is now saying we have time because normally this doesn't get diagnosised until after 12 weeks and sometimes not until 20 weeks. Which is really a complete change from Thursday telling me to come in the next morning for a d&c.

So still.... I have no idea what's going on. 

rachelg777

@jhysmath Oh goodness, what a roller coaster! I'm sorry things are still in limbo. I'm glad to see an update, you've been on my mind. I understand the need to keep some distance from the bump, you'll be in my thoughts and I'll be hoping for the best.

ruby696

@jhysmath I'm sorry you're still in limbo - and could this get any crazier?? FX so hard that you get some answers soon. Good luck and please keep us posted. Sending all the hugs. ❤

m6agua

@jhysmath I'm sorry about still being in limbo. I am hoping you can get some definitive answers in the next couple weeks. I'm glad that it seems like all of the doctors want to be absolutely positive before moving forward with a D&C. I'll be thinking of you!

queenklau

@jhysmath, I am so glad they are being thorough. I’ll be thinking of you and hopefully you get the best outcome and resolution from this limbo.

pirateduck

I was hoping to hear an update from you.  I'm sorry your update is just that you are having more tests, but it is good that your doctors are looking at all possible angles and that whatever is going on they are working hard to figure it out.  Please keep us posted.  Hang in there.  

louessbee

I'm glad to hear your doctors are working diligently to get to the bottom of this. I'm still really sorry you're going through all of it. 

shamrocandroll

I am so sorry you're going through this. Hoping for answers for you soon. Big hugs. ❤️

splashmountain

@jhysmath I'm sorry you're still in limbo. Hopefully these tests will finally give you some answers. Hang in there, we're all rooting for you!

mamaqdubu

@jhysmath ugh, I'm sorry you still don't have the answers you need. fingers crossed for you!!!