I don't really drink normally as it is, but today I could really use a freaking drink.
It's been one thing after another this week. I'm at my breaking point and feel like crying every day. Anyone who says pregnancy should be a breeze is a douche.
@thatbaintforbetty I have allergies and dry skin even not pregnant. Words of wisdom for the resulting itchys: use lotion IMMEDIATELY after bathing or showering, every time always - the second you dry off. Use a really thick lotion too. It will really help.
@professormama I do! I have eczema and super sensitive skin. It’s been that way since I was a baby. That’s why I was super worried, the location of the itching and the fact that I am more moisturized then most people.
I actually went through many many lotions/laundry detergents/soaps etc. to find a combo that doesn’t exacerbate it since I still have issues in adulthood even though most outgrow it. I’m also super thankful DD seems to have not gotten my skin issues.
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
@professormama I am also super grumpy today. I slept like total crap and woke up feeling hungover. And I've been crying b/c I feel so overwhelmed. I only planned to clean the house today and do laundry. And that's overwhelming me? How am I going to care for a child? I'm so down in the dumps.
To everyone who've had people comment on wanting the pregnancy so don't complain.....ugh, I hate that shit! That's the first thing my mean old Grandma said to me when she asked me how I was feeling. I answered her honestly, and she said something like, "well, you asked for this!" I know it's terrible of me to say, but she is a total bitch.
@rennie1108 sometimes during pregnancy, normal things are overwhelming, that also holds during the 4th trimester (when baby is a newborn) as well. I think it’s definitely related to all the hormones and lack of sleep mixing around together. Normal. And does NOT reflect on your ability to parent. I promise!!
Also, FWIW, everyone is different, but last time I FAR preferred the kind of overwhelmed I was postpartum to the kind I was pregnant. It felt less like a twisted life crisis and more like some kind of honest primal struggle. I was much less amgsty if much more tired, and it also made a huge difference to be back on the road to normal instead of moving away from it. (And I even say that having had some PPA.)
Thanks @professormama and @TheSouffleGirl! That make me feel a lot better. I actually just work up from a nap and I never nap. It felt pretty glorious.
We went to our full day prenatal class today and it was pretty good, other than the chairs being waaaaaaay to uncomfortable for a bunch of 30-ish week pregos. One thing the nurse mentioned is that Advanced Maternal Age pregnancies often get induced a couple of weeks early because your placenta doesn’t have the lifespan of a young pregnancy. My doc has not mentioned this to me so I’ll be asking about it this week. Any other geriatric pregnancies out there with experience on this one? It’s my first pregnancy and I’ll be 39 in June.
@suchagoodone I'm also AMA - 39 and FTM so I dont have any input on it but I'll def be asking my midwife about it as well! Should be interesting though bc they dont really believe in inducing (I assume that's excluding extreme situations).
@suchagoodone, my coworker is 38 and pregnant with her fourth, she hasn't mentioned her doctor possibly inducing, but I would definitely ask!
Anyone else know what position babe is in? Mine is definitely transverse at times (very often, especially when I get up in the mornings or after working out) and I'll be 32 weeks Wednesday. I'm a little nervous that he's still flipping around so much in there.
@MRDCle, that's what I keep telling myself but STM anxiety is real. His head seems to be consistently up to the right of my belly button or off to the side. I'm gonna ask my OB on Thursday what her opinion is, but I'm terrified of a potential c-section. Fingers crossed they all get head down soon and stay there!
@kangstadt Every time I think I know what position she’s in she seems to go all super wiggly and it feels like she switches several times quickly. I’ve given up trying to keep track but I have my growth ultrasound Saturday so we’ll see. I really really want to avoid a c-section as well.
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
@kangstadt mine is head down, sunny side up, and I think she’s at an angle tilting to the left most of the time, because that’s where I feel most of the kicks and punches. I went back through my records and she’s been head down since 16 weeks! She may have changed positions a few times, I’m not sure, but I guess she just likes being upside down. With my luck she’s going to flip over!
Hi guys! I really stink at telling what position baby is in... Hoping my doctor can give me some insight tonight. Any tips for figuring it out? Sometimes I feel like the movement is more tickly and assume that's more hands than feet...
In other news... My DH and I went to a UU church today to feel out a new faith community (it's something that I think is important, and luckily DH is patient with me and joins in). I hadn't been in a church since my grandmother's funeral, just after the holidays, and as soon as they sang their first song I was a blubbering mess! So surprising and embarrassing! I think I made a real impression on the folks sitting near us
We just got home after being gone since Wednesday and I feel like a bomb went off in our apartment. There are clean clothes that need putting away, a bunch of baby things that need to be sorted through, washed, and put away, and a ton of clutter that needs cleaning. Every time I glance up, I shudder. Yet here I am, sitting on my couch catching up on here and flipping through my new issue of Parents. The first step is identitying the problem? I really need to make a to do list...
@lyse01 I really liked the community today. I've been to others (we've been shopping around for a good fit) that were similar, but didn't match my personality as well. Today felt like everyone was so kind and unabashedly welcoming. I'd love to raise a kid in a church community like that. I guess the minister just had a baby too, so that was a nice connection.
Y’all...I’m super stoked about a baby deal we got today! We got a Mamaroo 4 brand new with a newborn insert for $80 today at a consignment store! I was expecting to spend $80 on a mediocre used swing!
@kayceebaby1 nice! I find it so important to have a church community that feels supportive - whether it’s on Sunday morning when you’re trying to keep your kid contained in the pew and the people behind you start passing crayons back and forth, or when someone offers up their teen as babysitter so you can actually eat at the Wednesday night dinner. A lot of UCC pastors are doing coffee shop office hours during the week, and you may find some UU leaders doing the same thing (Check the church fb page) if you want to bond with the minister!
@jlklec19 our weekend involved seeing both sets of grandparents, DD’s godfather, and a whole bunch of aunts/uncles and we are exhausted too. All I can see is the dirty sink, pile of laundry, and bags from the car that need to be unpacked, though. Maybe I have 30 min of energy left once I escape from underneath a slumbering toddler? Maybe.
In regards to what position baby is in: last week he was head down at the MFM but yesterday he was breech at the 4D ultrasound appointment. Pretty sure his head is still in my right rib cage. Would be great if he moved because it’s not comfortable.
@MRDCle, that's what I keep telling myself but STM anxiety is real. His head seems to be consistently up to the right of my belly button or off to the side. I'm gonna ask my OB on Thursday what her opinion is, but I'm terrified of a potential c-section. Fingers crossed they all get head down soon and stay there!
All this 100%. Baby girl was head down for awhile but now she feels like she’s all over the place. I can tell by the shape of my belly if she’s vertical or horizontal in there. She definitely prefers my right side , I feel like all my organs on that side are squished
@kangstadt LO likes to shuffle around at night but generally has settled back into the same transverse position (as far as I can tell) for a month now - bum just to the right of my belly button and (I think) shoulders lower toward my left hip. Lately she’s been stretching her feet out and poking out to the side and even tickling my hip bone a bit! I’m tall-ish and baby’s sitting low so luckily she hasn’t tried too much funny business with my ribcage yet! 32 weeks and the nurse said there’s still plenty of time for her to “assume the position”
I don’t know if y’all remember, but my relationship with my SIL is really terrible right now. Though that’s one-sided; I can’t stand her and she doesn’t even know that I can’t stand her. This is the invite she made for the baby shower she is throwing for “me”.
I find it very, very strange that my name isn’t anywhere on this invitation. How will people know who the shower is even for?
I dont know. I’ve spent all week stressing out over this ridiculous shower (that I originally didn’t even WANT) and I’m so frustrated and wish it would just be canceled. I wish I had more of a backbone and had put my foot down on what I do and don’t want. I’m not in the emotional space to spend 2 hours with my SIL, more in laws and a bunch of MIL’s friends. This is all so small and unimportant but it feels so huge right now.
I'm late to the convo Complaining: So my family has bad luck when it comes to babies mom lost a baby to SIDS at 6 months and then had a still birth at 28 weeks, I had a miscarriage last year, and my sister has PCOS with multiple miscarriages. My sister also was a bad drug addict and a drinker and I believe this is why she can't have a baby. This is my first valid pregnancy and anytime I try to talk to her about what I'm going through she basically makes me feel like I'm not alllowed to be unhappy. Its really not fair. We've all struggled and as overjoyed as I am to be pregnant ITS FREAKING HARD! I've learned to just not discuss the bad parts with her. Baby Shower: @lilpotatomama I know exactly what youre going through. My MIL is throwing me a baby shower and I won't know anyone there. I have anxiety and the closer it gets the more anxious I get thinking about being the center of attention in a room full of strangers. I really don't want to go but I also cant say no. It's not unimportant these things are stressful!
@lilpotatomama have you pointed that out to her? I mean... unless you’re literally the only pregnant person they know, the people receiving those invitations will have no clue. Although, if you don’t want the baby shower then maybe you’ll get lucky, everyone will be confused and no one will show 😆
Relieved today that my sciatic pain is not as bad. Still walking with a limp, but the pain is waaaay less today than it has been. Let’s hope it keeps getting better. It’s been so up and down for the last week that I never know what to expect when I get up the next day.
But I also sorta feel like a baby shower(which is weirdly named!) should be about welcoming a woman into motherhood, and gifts should be more practical and less about buy all the cute tiny clothes this kid will wear once. So it seems especially odd to me. (Also judging by pretty much everyone I know that’s an UO) 🤷♀️
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
@stefanielyn1991 Just an FYI - that probably could have used a trigger warning. I know we are pretty lax about them on this board but others are not the same.
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
@lilpotatomama I don't know your SIL or much about your relationship with her, so given that, I'm inclined more toward giving her the benefit of the doubt. It is obvs a mistake not to put the mom-to-be's name on the invitation, but perhaps your SIL has never thrown a baby shower before and just made a mistake. I think it's a nice gesture that she's trying, and your registry info is on there, so hopefully you'll get some practical gifts that will cut down on how much you have to purchase. With baby / wedding showers, a lot of times I think the events are more about the other people than they are about the actual person they're supposed to be for. That was actually my experience with my entire wedding - my mom actually said out loud at one point that the wedding wasn't about me and my husband, it was for our families, and if we wanted it to be just about us then we could elope and do it ourselves. I mean, it's kind of selfish / thoughtless sometimes, but people just want to be involved in your special event, and they aren't necessarily able to put themselves in your shoes and figure out what you'd actually want or need. My moms neighbors also threw me a baby shower, which ended up having to be a sip-n-see because I was induced before the shower was scheduled. I REALLY didn't want to go, and I wasn't excited about the idea of my new baby being passed around the neighborhood women, but in the end I had a fine time and everyone was so happy about getting to ohh and ahh over the baby that it wasn't that big a deal for me to just suck it up and go.
@MRDCle@professormama@thatbaintforbetty@mrstmoose@ysotte thanks for the support and feedback, y’all. I feel very at peace this morning. It was a long week, and I think pregnancy is really aggravating my typical annoyance with my SIL and making it more unbearable. This is not the first time she has done little things to make me feel unwelcome - the bridal shower she threw me years ago was a near disaster. She is a pretty inconsiderate and kind of rude person (pointing out my preg weight gain, etc) She may not care too much about MY feelings, but I know she loves this baby, so I’ll deal with her eventually when it gets to that point. For now, my plan is to go to the shower, smile, and be gracious. Because I really am grateful when it comes down to it - any gift big or small is super appreciated. Apparently everyone DOES know the invites are for my shower, so that’s good. There’s nothing else I can do besides make the best of it and try to have a fun afternoon! DH and I have plans to grab a pizza and watch the oscars afterwards, and maybe I’ll have some cute outfits to poke through while we do that.
@lilpotatomama if it makes you feel any better, I used to not care much (read: at all) for my brother's girlfriend (who is now my SIL). Since having DD, I've seen how wonderful she is as an aunt and DD absolutely adores her. She has really grown on me and I really enjoy being around her now. So hopefully, things will change for you two as well.
@kangstadt I asked my midwife last week if she could tell the position, and she was pretty confident that the hard bump I was feeling was LO's head and not butt. So he/she is pretty much transverse but more head up. The head is to the left of my belly button and maybe a little higher than it. He/she hasn't moved much except for a bit this weekend when his/her head was directly above my belly button. So we are definitely still breech over here!
@kangstadt I asked my midwife last week if she could tell the position, and she was pretty confident that the hard bump I was feeling was LO's head and not butt. So he/she is pretty much transverse but more head up. The head is to the left of my belly button and maybe a little higher than it. He/she hasn't moved much except for a bit this weekend when his/her head was directly above my belly button. So we are definitely still breech over here!
I'm 30 weeks and my OB said today that baby still has PLENTY of room to flip and turn at this point. Apparently they don't get down and stay down for weeks yet. Also, guys, my blood pressure was super good today at my appointment! Wooooo. Btw, what's the verdict on work... can I create an auto-reply for my email inbox that says "I'm pregnant and tired, don't bother me for the next 6 months"? Lol.
Re: Randoms w/o 2/4
It's been one thing after another this week. I'm at my breaking point and feel like crying every day. Anyone who says pregnancy should be a breeze is a douche.
I actually went through many many lotions/laundry detergents/soaps etc. to find a combo that doesn’t exacerbate it since I still have issues in adulthood even though most outgrow it. I’m also super thankful DD seems to have not gotten my skin issues.
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
To everyone who've had people comment on wanting the pregnancy so don't complain.....ugh, I hate that shit! That's the first thing my mean old Grandma said to me when she asked me how I was feeling. I answered her honestly, and she said something like, "well, you asked for this!" I know it's terrible of me to say, but she is a total bitch.
Also, FWIW, everyone is different, but last time I FAR preferred the kind of overwhelmed I was postpartum to the kind I was pregnant. It felt less like a twisted life crisis and more like some kind of honest primal struggle. I was much less amgsty if much more tired, and it also made a huge difference to be back on the road to normal instead of moving away from it. (And I even say that having had some PPA.)
Anyone else know what position babe is in? Mine is definitely transverse at times (very often, especially when I get up in the mornings or after working out) and I'll be 32 weeks Wednesday. I'm a little nervous that he's still flipping around so much in there.
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
In other news... My DH and I went to a UU church today to feel out a new faith community (it's something that I think is important, and luckily DH is patient with me and joins in). I hadn't been in a church since my grandmother's funeral, just after the holidays, and as soon as they sang their first song I was a blubbering mess! So surprising and embarrassing! I think I made a real impression on the folks sitting near us
@jlklec19 our weekend involved seeing both sets of grandparents, DD’s godfather, and a whole bunch of aunts/uncles and we are exhausted too. All I can see is the dirty sink, pile of laundry, and bags from the car that need to be unpacked, though. Maybe I have 30 min of energy left once I escape from underneath a slumbering toddler? Maybe.
This is the invite she made for the baby shower she is throwing for “me”.
I dont know. I’ve spent all week stressing out over this ridiculous shower (that I originally didn’t even WANT) and I’m so frustrated and wish it would just be canceled. I wish I had more of a backbone and had put my foot down on what I do and don’t want. I’m not in the emotional space to spend 2 hours with my SIL, more in laws and a bunch of MIL’s friends. This is all so small and unimportant but it feels so huge right now.
Complaining: So my family has bad luck when it comes to babies mom lost a baby to SIDS at 6 months and then had a still birth at 28 weeks, I had a miscarriage last year, and my sister has PCOS with multiple miscarriages. My sister also was a bad drug addict and a drinker and I believe this is why she can't have a baby. This is my first valid pregnancy and anytime I try to talk to her about what I'm going through she basically makes me feel like I'm not alllowed to be unhappy. Its really not fair. We've all struggled and as overjoyed as I am to be pregnant ITS FREAKING HARD! I've learned to just not discuss the bad parts with her.
Baby Shower: @lilpotatomama I know exactly what youre going through. My MIL is throwing me a baby shower and I won't know anyone there. I have anxiety and the closer it gets the more anxious I get thinking about being the center of attention in a room full of strangers. I really don't want to go but I also cant say no. It's not unimportant these things are stressful!
Relieved today that my sciatic pain is not as bad. Still walking with a limp, but the pain is waaaay less today than it has been. Let’s hope it keeps getting better. It’s been so up and down for the last week that I never know what to expect when I get up the next day.
But I also sorta feel like a baby shower(which is weirdly named!) should be about welcoming a woman into motherhood, and gifts should be more practical and less about buy all the cute tiny clothes this kid will wear once. So it seems especially odd to me. (Also judging by pretty much everyone I know that’s an UO) 🤷♀️
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
With baby / wedding showers, a lot of times I think the events are more about the other people than they are about the actual person they're supposed to be for. That was actually my experience with my entire wedding - my mom actually said out loud at one point that the wedding wasn't about me and my husband, it was for our families, and if we wanted it to be just about us then we could elope and do it ourselves. I mean, it's kind of selfish / thoughtless sometimes, but people just want to be involved in your special event, and they aren't necessarily able to put themselves in your shoes and figure out what you'd actually want or need. My moms neighbors also threw me a baby shower, which ended up having to be a sip-n-see because I was induced before the shower was scheduled. I REALLY didn't want to go, and I wasn't excited about the idea of my new baby being passed around the neighborhood women, but in the end I had a fine time and everyone was so happy about getting to ohh and ahh over the baby that it wasn't that big a deal for me to just suck it up and go.
thanks for the support and feedback, y’all. I feel very at peace this morning. It was a long week, and I think pregnancy is really aggravating my typical annoyance with my SIL and making it more unbearable.
This is not the first time she has done little things to make me feel unwelcome - the bridal shower she threw me years ago was a near disaster. She is a pretty inconsiderate and kind of rude person (pointing out my preg weight gain, etc) She may not care too much about MY feelings, but I know she loves this baby, so I’ll deal with her eventually when it gets to that point.
For now, my plan is to go to the shower, smile, and be gracious. Because I really am grateful when it comes down to it - any gift big or small is super appreciated. Apparently everyone DOES know the invites are for my shower, so that’s good. There’s nothing else I can do besides make the best of it and try to have a fun afternoon! DH and I have plans to grab a pizza and watch the oscars afterwards, and maybe I’ll have some cute outfits to poke through while we do that.
Btw, what's the verdict on work... can I create an auto-reply for my email inbox that says "I'm pregnant and tired, don't bother me for the next 6 months"? Lol.