Randoms 12/17

kristimh80

@bdesterhouse Ditto! I've been coming up with random stuff to do this afternoon!

swanbrooner

What Christmas treats have you all indulged in or made so far?

ashley14598

With everyone on mentally being checked out ... and my co-workers are noticing unfortunately! I’m so cranky and getting short with the students. Ugh! I need a break! Between all the appointments/labs last week, my family being sick this week, and Christmas next week I’m so over work right now.... 

kristimh80

@swanbrooner I've indulged in the holiday mint Lindor chocolate truffles. Every xmas they are my weakness!

@ashley14598 Me too...I could do without having to go into the office for awhile!

novelblessings

On being checked out. I’ve kind of just checked out of work in general. My practice manager is single, with no kids, and her only experience with someone going on leave was a previous colleague who came back after two weeks because her newborn was in NICU and she was “bored”. She continues to elude to a list of crap she wants me to do while on leave so I can come back and have new clients set up on top of my current caseload. All because she will be “taking a hit financially” while I’m out. Sorry, not sorry...you’ve known about this for months. 

kristimh80

@novelblessings Ugh, heck with that! Sounds like she needs to hire someone else to help you guys out. Your leave is time for you to spend with your baby. 

lovesclimbing

January. Oh my word. There are no words. 

Kenneylynn3

@swanbrooner I'm making homemade toffee tomorrow.

meggyme

@lovesclimbing January bmb? Which thread?

 @novelblessings they sound like someone that will be calling/texting/emailing you throughout your leave regardless of what you set up ahead of time.

purpleteacher82

@meggyme @lovesclimbing I am assuming it’s the “no judging” thread. That got shut down quickly. 

meggyme

@purpleteacher82 I think it’s actually a few days old, there’s just no one left in Jan19 to respond. I agree that’s pretty nuts thoug.

novelblessings

@kristimh80 Unfortunately it doesn't quite work that way where she can take one someone temporarily. If anything she should have planned to take on a few extra clients herself o compensate. Some of my clients will be staying on during that time as transfers to my colleagues, so I don't know that she will be out that much money. In reality I'm the one who will be out money because when I don't work I don't make money. So we will be without my income for 3 months.

@meggyme I would assume she wouldn't have a real reason to contact me during that time because everything on my end is caught up and she would only need to contact me if there was a serious issue with a client. Even then, that is not a good reason to contact me because she can handle it. I do expect some type of email from her when it gets closer to when I will return because she expects me to be marketing right before I come back; again...it's not going to happen.

kristimh80

@novelblessings Well if you aren't being paid, then I'm glad you aren't even considering trying to work just to help her due to her not planning ahead. Take care of yourself and enjoy your time  

lovesclimbing

purpleteacher82 said:

@meggyme @lovesclimbing I am assuming it’s the “no judging” thread. That got shut down quickly. 

Yup. 

But she didn't DD. What she was asking was just so crazy. Obviously, she wants the baby to be her boyfriend's and not the guy's or one of the guys' that she had a threesome with. And then posted the photo of what is presumably her boyfriend and her 3D ultrasound. The only thing I can guess she's asking is she wants people's opinions on whether the 3D ultrasound looks like her boyfriend. Because that's totally how paternity works. 

zionsmama85

I am checked out at work too. Luckily the calls have slowed to a crawl so I don't have a huge workload and can stay on top of things pretty well. We always have low staff due to everyone using up the PTO since we have a use it or lose it policy but this year we aren't struggling like normal and i am THANKFUL. My main favorite thing about the last two weeks of December is having 3 or 4 days off. i am lucky to be in a job that considers Christmas Eve part of the holiday so i will enjoy this 4 day weekend coming up. 2019 is right around the corner guys! wow. 

kristimh80

@lovesclimbing omg that maybe one of the craziest things I've heard on here! 

dtspmama

I have successfully ordered the groceries for Christmas dinner, cleaned my office, decorated my 2019 planner (including writing down LO's birth date!  ahhhhh!) and now I'm just watching the clock tick by . . . so . . . slowly.  Why is the last day at work before a nice break such a drag?!

meggyme

So I know it's been brought up a few times before but since half of us are 3rd Tri now, with the other half soon to follow I figure it's time we start talking seriously about going private and how we want to do it. Before babies, after babies, Facebook, Private Bump group... How do we want to determine who we want to allow.

I don't mean that in a Mean Girl way, but the point of a private group is that it's private. I don't want to share all my personal details on facebook (full name, where I live, full names and details of my kids and our goings on) with a bunch of people that have only ever introduced themselves. I feel like that's internet safety 101 and the people allowed into our private conversations should be vetted somehow. I can start a couple polls regarding when and where so we have a more democratic way of determining it, but as far as the how, that will need a discussion.

kristimh80

I am up for a Facebook or a private group here. But I agree about having it a more private group with people that chat a decent amount with each other. I'd probably start one sooner than later since some babies may come early. Then it's already set and we all aren't scrambling as we become sleep deprived zombies! Maybe we need a separate thread started so people that are interested can voice their opinions. Then you'd know who is interested and maybe would help weed out others that aren't as active. 

meggyme

@kristimh80 that's kind of why I started the discussion here, just because I know most of the regulars keep up with the randoms thread. I feel like whenever a dedicated private group thread gets started a bunch of people come out of the woodwork saying "I'm never on the bump but would totally be active on FB". And that kind of defeats the point and makes it more difficult to determine who you accept and who you don't. I'll start the poll at least so we can figure out the when/where and let it go from there.

Lbloom

I am up for either a private bump group or would (grudgingly) come back to FB if that is what majority wants (with maybe a quick link so i dont have to see the rest of FB). I do prefer the platform here.

Question on Internet safety 101, I know when you post photos to FB, they own the rights to said photo (hence why DH and I have never posted photos of DD'S on FB), is that rule the same for the Bump, even in a private group setting?

For most regulars it is going to be pretty obvious who is a regular contributor and who WANTS to continue being active. Some people, after their babies are here, drop off naturally because they don't have the need for this support board anymore and/or don't have the time for it anymore. I think a poll is a good idea.

meggyme

@Lbloom I would have to review the TOU, but I believe that the Bump has rights to your photos even in private groups. I know they are allowed to use any information posted publicly. At the very least the photos in private groups are not searchable in google, bing, etc. They are only visible to members of that group.

zionsmama85

I am all for either one, i am generally on FB a lot, but I can cope with a private Bump group too. I know i want to be involved either way, will look for the poll when it pops up! 

beachbaby0523

Regarding a continuing group, I don’t have a preference on forum (Facebook or here), but I do agree that having it private will make me more comfortable sharing more details. In general, I tend to keep things close to the vest and haven’t even posted on Facebook about my pregnancy (even though my settings are private). I also echo @Lbloom ‘s question regarding use of photos. 

kristimh80

@meggyme Good point, I didn't even think about that!
@Lbloom You're right, many may fall out due to maybe things. I saw that happen when people finally got pregnant on the IF boards...many failed to move on the PAIF board. 

I'm good staying on here if it's easier. Some times I need a break from FB craziness and this is a nice outlet.

meggyme

@Lbloom @beachbaby0523 Here's a like to the TOU https://www.thebump.com/terms

"If you submit or post any materials or content to the Site, you grant us and our business partners a royalty free, perpetual, irrevocable, transferrable, assignable, sub-licensable, worldwide license to use such materials and content, including alterations thereof, for our business purposes, in any form, in any media, and via any technology we choose, whether it exists now or is created in the future. You represent that any materials and content posted or otherwise submitted by you to the Site is original to you and that you have the right to grant us these rights."

There is also this: https://www.thebump.com/privacy-policy

Lbloom

I would love to share a photo with the private group, but absolutely do not want to in the public forum. I don't want my tiny preemie to be searchable so people can gawk at his tiny self. I was even hesitant to post his name in the announcement thread.

catlady2015

I’m definitely up for a private group here. I’ve been careful about what I’m sharing just b/c it’s a public forum. I’d be ok with fb too, but think a private group here is a great stepping stone to make sure we’re all comfortable before disclosing real names/accounts, etc. 

applesandbananas23

I have mentioned this before I think. I don't have a Facebook (and frankly enjoy not having one) but would be interested in a private bump group. 

maggiemadeit

I’ll echo @abbykwail. I don’t Facebook, but would love a private forum to keep up with you lovely ladies. Especially in those early days with a new baby, it would be nice to have the support.

meggyme

Here's the poll link for anyone that hasn't already found it.
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12738327/facebook-private-group-when-where

mihaelams1

I would love a Facebook group! My October 2015 group is still very much alive and I'm closer to those ladies than to most of my real-life friends! It's interesting, because I was mostly lurking then on the bump and didn't post much because of privacy fear, but they let me in and now I think I can say I'm contributing there a lot. I'm also hesitant to post more here currently, and I don't show my face on the HDBD pictures. I hope we move to facebook and then I might even delete the bump account just to protect the kids in the long run. 

zionsmama85

i am going off topic of the poll...this is a random...do you guys think i have the right to be a little annoyed that the person that is throwing my baby shower hasn't got anything in place yet? I wanna have it the last weekend of January...and i feel like thats pretty soon. everytime i text her something she just goes "ok, just let me know.."...and i'm like "let you know what? aren't YOU supposed to be doing this?" i'm getting a little frustrated because to be honest, if its gonna be all over the place like this i would rather take control myself but i know that is not proper. 

Kenneylynn3

I'd prefer the private bump as FB is not on my phone (too much usage). So I would be less active. I did already vote. Just wanted to discuss my reasoning. 

meggyme

@zionsmama85 that's tough. Maybe ask her how you can help because it's coming up soon and the invites should probably go out. If she comes up blank you might need to have a more thorough discussion about the details. Assuming she's not trying to keep the details a surprise I'd think she'd at least have the invite details (where, when, who) figured out. Things like food and decorations can wait a few more weeks, but you need to be able to tell people when and where to be.

lelkcot

@zionsmama85 if she’s not a planner, it may just not occur to her to be setting things up, finalizing dates and guest list and sending invites. Might be worth gently pushing for a date and for invitations to go out.

beachbaby0523

@meggyme thanks very much for sending the terms link! Like others have expressed, I’m more inclined to share pics of my face, deets about the LO, etc. in a more private setting. I’ll be sure to vote in the poll. Thanks for coordinating!

@zionsmama85 I agree with @meggyme and @lelkcot - she may need a friendly reminder and a little direction re prioritizing the planning. But I think you’re also totally justified in feeling annoyed in having to hold her hand thru the process - you have enough on your plate as is!

zionsmama85

Its funny because i asked her because she does such cool parties for her son, and she does events as her side thing so i assumed she would be on the ball. So now its another thing to have me anxious about. Good times! lol I mean, it's a baby shower. I'm grateful, but I also want it to be nice. It's SO's first baby, and its been 10 years since i had one, and its a girl this time, so i am looking forward to it. Just don't want to be disappointed because it gets haphazardly thrown together, whereas i know that i would make it nice myself (even though i cant ) 

kristimh80

If anyone needs a good laugh today or a Mean Girls fan. The comments on this facebook post from Rachel McAdam's photo shoot with a breast pump  https://www.facebook.com/WhoWhatWear/photos/a.102061622941/10158240844252942/?type=3&theater&ifg=1

@zionsmama85 I get being frustrated. My SIL threw one together last minute for me for right after xmas. Invites just went out. Luckily, it's mainly family but still. My mom agreed to have it at her house, but now she's even confused if she's expected to supply all the food now b/c no one has communicated. 

Kenneylynn3

@zionsmama85 just wanted to say that she probably isn't a planner, and might be her first time hosting something like a shower. My mil and mom and cohosting and my mil isn't a planner. All the sudden it's the first week of Dec and she said invites need to go out this week and she hadn't even been ordered yet. She got over the fact that they may have gone out slightly late, but she just kinda dropped the ball. (I ended up ordering them because my mom was unable to and my mil kinda dropped the ball).