Monday Bitchfest

okayestmom12

I feel like we could use one of these posts... 

Bitch away, ladies! 

ohsunnydays

If one more person asks me “how are you feeling?” I might pull out my hair!!
(we had two parties to go to yesterday with lots of smalltalk to make...)

wrensnest

This past month has been virus after virus after virus. I’m exhausted and sick of being sick.

becks_726

I have 46 workdays left before going on mat leave (Canadian, so 14 months, I'm most definitely not bitching about that.) and it feels like no one here is taking it seriously that someone is going to have to do my job while I'm away! And I need time to prepare that person. And I need time to tie up a lot of loose ends. Instead the team is shrinking, my workload is increasing and preparation isn't happening on any front. Ultimately it won't be me dealing with the aftermath but you know they are going to blame me when it goes wrong and I won't be here to defend myself. 

okayestmom12

ohsunnydays said:

If one more person asks me “how are you feeling?” I might pull out my hair!!
(we had two parties to go to yesterday with lots of smalltalk to make...)

Oh girl. SAME. I now answer with “I feel pregnant”. Duh. EYE ROLL. 

BourbonBiscuits

okayestmom12 said:

ohsunnydays said:

If one more person asks me “how are you feeling?” I might pull out my hair!!
(we had two parties to go to yesterday with lots of smalltalk to make...)

Oh girl. SAME. I now answer with “I feel pregnant”. Duh. EYE ROLL. 

YES. My answer is "still pregnant." But then one girl bit my head off about how I should be grateful that baby hasn't been born yet. Yeah no shit, of course I don't want my child to be born this early. That doesn't mean pregnancy is rainbows and butterflies.

megpants209

I feel like my life as a whole is bitchfest right now. Every time someone asks how I’m doing I want to say well I’m having a baby in 3 months, my cat died, my dog has cancer and is going through chemo and now my dad died completely unexpectedly. But I think that’s probably not the answer they’re looking for. 

And seriously I’m OVER people talking about my lack of eating. STFU.  

etnyah

This thread was made for me today. I’m so fed up with people at work. Our new accountant can’t seem to get to work before 10 am for no good reason, even though I told her repeatedly she needs to be here for our 8 am schedule meeting every Monday. Everyone else will be out in the field later in the day so it’s really important! She’s making it impossible for me to do my job and doesn’t even care. 

Oh and the receptionist is now wanting to do OT hours because the boss needs her to do a bunch of filing. No. That’s part of your job. You do it within your actual work hours. I used to have your job and I know you mostly spend your day sitting on your ass watching YouTube anyway. You have time for some filing.

danixbanani24

@BourbonBiscuits are you serious with that chick?  I would've snapped her in half.  Yes, I am grateful to be pregnant when I know so many women in the world yearn to be in my place but that doesn't mean I can't gripe about my symptoms etc.  SHEESH.

Bitchfest for me - I wanted to order DS these Books To Bed pajamas from Gap and they sold out when they were available literally two days ago and I'm really mad at myself LOL

kayjay44

I've always got complaints: 

• My kids are both sick and one is sick enough to stay home and is begging for me, but here I am at work. 
• I don't want to be at work - it's negatively affecting my mental health at this point. A bunch of shit went down last week and it's getting ridiculous. I really need other people to just do their fucking jobs. I sat down and put together a to do list first thing this morning - it's about 3-4 days of work. That doesn't include any major projects I'm working on and I've added 5 new things in the last hour.
• I can't keep meals eaten after 10 am down. And I don't "look" sick, so people really have no idea how bad it is (other than DH). Despite the fact I've lost a ton of weight and the new maternity pants I bought? They're getting too big. I'm literally picking foods to eat based on how easy it will be for me to throw up.
• MIL is throwing a fit we don't want to travel for Thanksgiving/Christmas. Sure, it's only two hours, but we are the only people with kids AND I'm pregnant AND I'm throwing up all the time. I just want to throw up in my own home - that's not too much to ask. I'm sure my parents won't be thrilled either, but they act like adults and get that you have to compromise sometimes. 
• I've been feeling really lonely and isolated lately. I'm glad I have DH, who is seriously by best friend, and my BMBs, but I miss having IRL female friends and the two I do have I haven't really seen in months.
  
• People need to stop telling me how much worse it will be with three kids. Going from 0-1 and 1-2 was nothing for us and was super easy. It's almost all people who have 2 or less kids, too, who don't even know what 3 is like. I don't give a fuck about your irrelevant opinion. 
  

I feel a little better now getting all of this out, at least.

katamca

ohsunnydays said:

If one more person asks me “how are you feeling?” I might pull out my hair!!
(we had two parties to go to yesterday with lots of smalltalk to make...)

AMEN. Same with parties too   

allthingsgo

@megpants209 you are being so unfairly piled on by life lately and it totally sucks. I don’t know you do it let alone while being pregnant and preparing for your first child. I wish I could give you a hug but I hope you are getting plenty of support from your husband and family. Also I totally understand not having an appetite. When I lost my brother unexpectedly I barely ate. 

@BourbonBiscuits what is that woman’s deal? Seems like a big overreaction to me. Yes we are lucky and blessed and all that for being able to have kids but damn sometimes being pregnant really sucks. 

kayjay44

@megpants209 - My first pregnancy was kind of like that - because of it, I was always waiting for more bad news and the other shoe to drop and it's freaking exhausting. Take care of yourself and tell anyone who gives you shit to suck it. I'm here if you need to chat.

madreofdragons

My bitch is really only the time change effed me up and not my kid. Also all I did this weekend was stuff my face. All of it is coming out this morning. I have to be at the doctor in an hour and I still haven’t gotten in the shower. 

hannahbananas11

My bitchfest: my mom (actually both my mom and dad) are pretty uninvolved with my life. They are interested in what is happening, of course, and I talk to my mom on the phone once or twice each week. But they're a 12-hour drive away, and they have three kids at home (two brothers in high school, and one sister with special needs). They simply don't have much time or attention to spare for their two kids who have already left the nest. I do sometimes wish that they were involved like empty-nester parents are involved with their kids, but I've come to accept that they still care, they just don't have the time or money to spend on visiting H and I frequently. So we usually make the effort to see them and drive or fly to them.

So anyway, my MIL is planning a shower for me and H this coming weekend down in Georgia, and Saturday she asked why my mom wasn't attending (she had RSVP'd "no"). I said "Flying down here right now is just a little too much to manage time-wise, especially with both of my brothers in school and all of their activities. I think she'll probably come visit a few months after the baby is born." So MIL makes a comment about how my parents aren't too involved, and I said, pretty casually, "Yeah, they've always been a lot more laid back and hands-off with me and my brother. Definitely not your modern-day helicopter parents!" And my MIL, who by the way has been an empty-nester for over 10 years, says "Well, at least I still love you and can give you attention." THE FUCK?! How on earth can she jump to the conclusion that since my parents don't have the money or time to fly/drive down here frequently that they somehow don't love me?! That was really hurtful, especially because I'm very close to my MIL, and because I do sometimes wish that my parents could be more involved than they are (and they often wish the same, I'm sure). Even though I think MIL was half-joking, I had to work really hard to maintain my cool. I just said "I don't think that their tight schedules or budget means that they don't love me" and MIL moved on to the next thing, probably not even thinking anything of it.

sjnsjnsjn

@hannahbananas11- Wow, you handled that really cool. 😎 Definitely far more mature than your MIL!
P.S. In case it makes you feel better, hearing someone say they talk to their mom once or twice a week is a mind boggler to me. I literally can go months without talking to my mom, especially in the decades when I did not have a child.  That ain’t nothin!

PurplePoppy424

I NEED THIS TODAY! Lol! 

I just almost had had the front end of my car taken off on the interstate on the way to my OB appointment by an unmarked work van. I was driving along in my lane and this a-hole swerved in front me of last second because he decided he didn’t want to get off on that exit after all. Needless to say, he was about an inch from hitting my front end when he jerked over. I may or may not have flipped him the bird after I laid on the horn. My BP is still high according to the nurse. 

megpants209

@hannahbananas11 That would INFURIATE me. As long as YOU feel loved and supported by your parents, other people don’t get to have an opinion on relationship quality. Wtf. 

hannahbananas11

@PurplePoppy424 I sure hope that the driver of that van feels stupid for that maneuver! I love using my horn, and that's exactly the type of situation that requires a loud, aggressive-sounding horn to get a point across. Sheesh.

etnyah

@kayjay44 I don’t understand why anyone would say 3 kids is so much harder. First off, I currently have zero kids and would never tell anyone how hard it is to have any number of kids because what the heck do I know? Second, according to my mom who has four, one is easy, two is harder, and after than you can pretty much have as many kids as you can afford/want because you’ve reached max difficulty level. Obviously it’s different for everyone anyway, since some people struggle with one and like you said, going from one to two was no big deal for you which is different from my mom’s experience.

Whyyy would anyone try to “warn” you, as if you didn’t think of that adding a child to your family is life changing? It’s your life and your family, obviously you thought about that.

kayjay44

@hannahbananas11 - You handled that like a champ. I would have lost my shit.

My ILs are the un-involved ones - they are retired and live closer to us and see our kids less than my parents who work full time still. They've watched the kids exactly once for about two hours (that was this summer) whereas my parents watched the kids for 5 days while we went to the Bahamas. She tries to put the fact they never see the kids on us super passive aggressively and I shut that shit down. 

okayestmom12

@kayjay44 - We’ve received so many “warnings” about baby 3. I’ve literally begun to just tune them out. It was either that or throat punch them and my DH said this tune out was a better approach so here we be. 

@hannahbananas11 - Oh man. You’re a cooler cucumber than I because I would have lost my mind if my MIL insuiated that my parents didn’t love me enough. 

PurplePoppy424

@kayjay44 I swear it’s a nervous tick with people. I’ve gotten the same thing from a number of people. I’m already anxious enough about this. I don’t need their stupid comments, especially since it comes from the people I don’t even know that well usually. Sorry you (and other TTMs) getting it, too. 

hannahbananas11

I think sometimes I'm not really level-headed, just too nice and fearful of conflict.

Also, why would anyone feel the need to comment on how it'll be so hard to have "x" number of kids when you're already pregnant? It's like they think that their input is 1. warranted and 2. timely. Even if I do care about your opinion (spoiler alert: I probably don't), there's a time to give me your opinion, and that's before a decision is made. People are dumb.

kayjay44

hannahbananas11 said:

I think sometimes I'm not really level-headed, just too nice and fearful of conflict.

Also, why would anyone feel the need to comment on how it'll be so hard to have "x" number of kids when you're already pregnant? It's like they think that their input is 1. warranted and 2. timely. Even if I do care about your opinion (spoiler alert: I probably don't), there's a time to give me your opinion, and that's before a decision is made. People are dumb.

I have no idea. I also get way too many "was it planned?" questions, especially since I already have a complete "set" (meaning a boy and a girl). Gets real awkward real fast when I say the reason we really wanted three at least is because I was one of a "set" and my brother died and now I'm an only child as an adult and DH is one of a "set" but his sister is developmentally delayed and he's never gotten to have the normal sibling experience.

People are assholes.

etnyah

Someone threw the salad I was going to eat in the trash. Ok, it’s been sitting in the fridge over the weekend (leftovers from the office lunch order last Friday), but it was still good! Also, they tossed the whole thing in the trash, instead of throwing the salad in the compost and the container in the recycling bin. I am seething. 

... I actually pulled it out and ate it anyway because I give no fucks. It was in the packaging! Also wrote a passive aggressive post-it about not throwing away edible food and how to dispose of food scraps properly. And then I got to yell at a cold caller so I feel better now. 

Also, someone else threw their teriyaki leftovers in the compost while still in the container. What is WRONG with people? The food was still warm (I know because I took it out of the container and disposed of it properly), why not save it to tomorrow, and how lazy are you to throw a plastic container in the compost? I’m not super anal about waste sorting, but this is just a big “fuck you” to doing even the bare minimum. Christ.

bellebaby221

I love my parents and they help us out a lot but I can't help but feeling they enjoy being around my brother's kids more than mine. They have a girl and a boy that are 5 years apart. My niece is super quiet and my nephew is too. He is 4 but doesn't really talk a lot and they're trying to figure out why. Either way, they are totally opposite to my crazy crew. My twins are 9 and youngest son is 5 1/2. Yes they are loud and crazy. They're very rambunctious little boys and can get out of hand if they don't have an outlet for their energy. I know this. But I have asked my parents on several occasions to come visit and they always have an excuse. And more than once they end up at my brother's when they were "too busy" to visit us. 
I don't want them to think we don't discipline our kids because we do. There is a dynamic with the twins that has been a challenge since they were born. They are each other's best friend and worst enemy all rolled into one. I just hate to think that my parents don't believe we're good parents. Or at the very least are trying our best. 
So that's my vent. I guess I just wish I'd see my parents more and the fact that they haven't seen us since August is tough. They're retired and it's easier for them to come to us especially once the boys start school. 

danixbanani24

I don’t understand why anyone feels the need to make comments about pregnancy or x number of children PERIOD. But alas, society is full of people with zero filters and who just don’t get it.

@kayjay44 I’m sorry work is bringing you down.  What do you do for a living? Do you consider changing career paths (maybe not right now but maybe in the future?) I ask because I also had a job that was literally killing me mentally and physically after a while.  My DS was 6 months old when I flat out quit - literally went to my HR guy and said YOU call my boss and tell her I’m not coming back because I literally had it.  No one seemed to give a shit that I had a mortgage and a new baby and I was flat out leaving my job with zero notice.  Anyways I’m not saying that is what you should do I just wanted to sympathize and let you know I understand.  Maybe there are other options in your career field? I know I wanted to take a pay cut to have a much simpler life as a working mom and leave work at 5pm and leave work at work. That was my preference and we were able to swing it but I know every situation is different.

okayestmom12

New complaint. 4:45p and it was pitch black. Ugh. The only good thing is that when my DS wakes up at the ass crack, it isn’t pitch black then. 

jessier19

Heaven help me I have to get drinks tonight with my arrogant insulting condescending jerkwad of a colleague. And of course the drinks are just for him, not me. I get to sip lemonade while he gets drunk and tells me how to live my life. 

smallbutmighty77

I love my parents but my mom is not capable of taking care of a kid, and she gets so insulted when we never ask her to babysit or come over for a few hours so we can get things done.
 Lady, you come over and I have to watch you more than my kid. She had a bunch of mini strokes last year which has her left arm working but minimal feeling and she just isn't very healthy, and can't hear for shit, but I'm going to leave my kid who you can barely pick up alone with you? 

She also bitches about how far we live and how she wishes she saw us more. We live 45mins away, we see my parents practically every other week. Meanwhile my sister and 7yo niece live 5hrs away, in another state and they haven't seen her since August!! 
yell at that daughter! 

sjnsjnsjn

@smallbutmighty77- And that sums up why I don’t ever want to move “home” despite some of the hassles it causes!

My current bitch is that I am standing on my second train of my commute, apparently because there is actually no class in this culture anymore what-so-f*cking-ever.

madreofdragons

Headphones on public transit are your best friend @sjnsjnsjn. 

kayjay44

danixbanani24 said:

@kayjay44 I’m sorry work is bringing you down.  What do you do for a living? Do you consider changing career paths (maybe not right now but maybe in the future?) I ask because I also had a job that was literally killing me mentally and physically after a while.  My DS was 6 months old when I flat out quit - literally went to my HR guy and said YOU call my boss and tell her I’m not coming back because I literally had it.  No one seemed to give a shit that I had a mortgage and a new baby and I was flat out leaving my job with zero notice.  Anyways I’m not saying that is what you should do I just wanted to sympathize and let you know I understand.  Maybe there are other options in your career field? I know I wanted to take a pay cut to have a much simpler life as a working mom and leave work at 5pm and leave work at work. That was my preference and we were able to swing it but I know every situation is different.

I'm an in-house paralegal at a tech company - in reality, it's about being short staffed and we're in the process of hiring two interns which should in theory help with my insane work load and allow me to be more responsive to more urgent requests. I'm hoping it's a short term problem because otherwise I do love what I do, I'd just prefer that I'm not doing the work of three people while pregnant and miserable and getting yelled at for not getting everything done ASAP (which isn't possible when you have 3-4 days of work on your plate when you show up Monday morning that just gets added to). I do get to leave work daily at 4:30pm for the most part, but I do start working at 5 am and I'm checking email nightly until I go to bed. I took the weekend pretty much off and that helped - I just need some help so I don't always feel like I'm fucking drowning.

knottied069dbbca082792e

This may seem a little silly but I’m still seething. So. My aunts on my dads side are throwing me a shower, we went untraditional and are doing a couples shower. As the number of invitees is much larger than they are accustomed to, I thought it would be great if we could invite outside of my dads family, but didn’t expect it. So, on friday my aunt asks for a list of my husbands family and our friends. I provide it. My mom finds out and completely looses her shit that I didn’t include her family and friends in lieu of our friends. WTF. I told her to find someone tacky enough to throw her a grandmothers shower, I was asked for a specific list and provided it. If her family wants to do something, they are welcome to. Anyways, she and my dad call my aunts hosting the shower against my will to “right my wrong” and get my moms whole family invited. In the meantime, I find out she her sister the shower date weeks ago (when she knew I hadn’t told MIL yet because I didn’t know if we would be allowed to invite people). Furthermore, she told her sister but not her brother so she’s basically a huge hippocrite, accusing me of having some plot to exclude her family when she had already deliberately excluded her brother after helping herself to an invitation she wasn’t entitled to. Now my aunts feel weird and are blowing up the guest list to accommodate. I feel super bad and would have never wanted a shower this big, I just wanted my brothers, father  and DH to be there. I want to call the whole thing off since this is clearly an imposition on my aunts throwing the shower, but DH really wants a shower. In the meantime my parents now aren’t speaking to me (because I told my mom she was being ridiculous and selfish- she has this perception of herself as mother Teresa, further she decided she can’t hnderstand the distinction between you’re and you’re being- I told her to take that up with her shrink or a grammar instructor). Anyways, my mom has to have major surgery this week and I’m not planning on capitulating so my Monday Bitch is how the f did I end up the asshole in this situation and whyyyy do I have to capitulate to avoid more drama when I’m not “there for her in her time of need”. Ugh just needed to vent 

cali1710

Gosh looks like we all need this thread. I also am tired of people aslingu”how I’m feeling”. Well I feel like an exhausted cow who doesnt think her belly can stretch any more. I’m also measuring 31 weeks (I’m 25 weeks now). And if someone says “you look ready” one more time Ill smack a bitch. Or the hreat “wow I cant believe you have so much longer to go still”. Ya no shit. I stay in my office all day to avoid any unnecessary chatter. 

I also second my job. This is my last week, and the girl I’m training isnt even close to ready because we found someone too late.

ohsunnydays

Today a work colleague (male) said "WOW you are looking big!!!!" 
I don't think I'm that big, and I think my bump is pretty cute. WAH! 

kayjay44

@cali1710 - I've learned, having done this twice, that no one is able to really do my job (even though I'm now at a new company). I've always managed to the do the work of more than one person and not one backfill to date has been able to keep up with my workload. Plus side - Great job security because they realize I'm not replaceable. I'm going to use it to negotiate a raise after I get back from leave this time.

danixbanani24

@kayjay44 gotcha - hopefully they bulk up the staff to help you out more.  5am call time? Omg - is that normal time for you or is it because of the extra work? I hope it lets up soon!! 

sjnsjnsjn

@kayjay44- Make the raise a condition of your return! Considering all this, that leave better be paid too!!

bww_0331

Small talk related to pregnancy makes me ragey. I hate when people ask how I’m feeling. Does it really matter if I haven’t been to these people? No, it has zero impact on your life. So stop grilling me. Fine. I feel fine. That’s all people need.