I’m glad to hear that it is not such an uncommon choice not to circumcise - I had in the back of my mind a fear that this LO to be the odd man out (I was concerned about the locker room situation later in life that @grebretso mentioned). DH is from South America and is uncircumcised, so he didn’t see why it could be an issue. Good to have some more reassurance on this one.
I think circumcised or not, he won’t stand out @casperthefriendlybeeb! Both are pretty common now. Also, if he does get flak in the locker room later on, a good rebuttal is “oh I didn’t realize my penis was so interesting to you”.
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
@casperthefriendlybeeb- I also think locality/community makes a difference in terms of commonality. I had a shall we say very active and very single adulthood and amongst all that I experienced, I only once ever saw an uncircumcised penis, but I spent my sexually actively single adulthood in NYC. If I'd been in say Wyoming, I imagine that would have been different!
@sjnsjnsjn - keep that guy in school! It’ll give you some much needed one on one time with the new babe and him, some normalcy.
FWIW, my DH is circumcised and we decided not to do it with our first (and will follow suit with this babe). Funny enough, my FIL is also uncircumcised (and I only know because my DH and I beat the dead horse trying to decide because we were so “meh” about it). It’s a sign of the times... with my DH, it was commonplace and expected to do it. With my FIL, it was not.
@casperthefriendlybeeb I wasn’t super familiar with the topic before being married or having my son. I found that knowing more about the topic and doing a little research on reasons why people elect not to (body autonomy, sensitivity of area, natural state, etc) made me feel a lot more confident and happy about the decision. I’d recommend looking into it if you want reassurance.
@sjnsjnsjn that is so interesting to me. I too had a “very active and very single adulthood” (haha), and I’d say I saw roughly half and half.
We won’t be circumcising if our baby is a boy, even though my H is circumcised and a (very secular) Jew. That’s got to do with various personal beliefs, but also because I think there’s reason to think uncircumcised men might be more able to enjoy sexual pleasure.
I’m glad we aren’t having a boy because DH and I are on opposite ends of the circumcision debate. Both my brothers weren’t and they were fine with it as far as I know. But I don’t look down on anyone that does it, just not what I would want to do.
I have to say, this is the most civilized discussion of a very polarizing topic I’ve seen online. I think we are a great group here! Very respectful of others while also able to express our own opinions. No drama llamas here!
@conchispita DD is super into Batman, so we got a Batman bear for her that DS “gave” her when he was born. The shirt says “you’re my hero.” She loves that bear. She held it every time I held her brother. I felt like it helped, but I also felt like it wasn’t required.
So we had DS circumcised because we just didn’t really know what to do and honestly, I wish that we hadn’t. We’ve had problems with DS’s and he actually had to have a second procedure done over the summer to correct it. $3200 later.... we wish that we’d have just left him intact.
That said, I don’t know what we’ll do with DS2. We haven’t decided yet.
@PurplePoppy424- oh man that sucks! We will be circumcising our DS2, similarly like daddy and big bro, but man if that had happened to us, I am sure I would be pondering whether to. How awful!
@PurplePoppy424 Yikes! That sounds terrible! We're planning to circumcise DS, but I do have my hesitations for this very reason. Things can always go wrong, even with routine stuff (I mean, my best friend had complications just from getting her wisdom teeth out!). Whatever you choose, I hope everything goes much better this time!
DH and I still haven't sat down and had a proper conversation about it, which is probably a good indicator of how weak our opinions are on the matter (despite DH being Jewish). We've got a few more months, right?!
@hannahbananas11@sjnsjnsjn Yeah. I just re-read that and it sounded more harsh than I meant it. Lol His main issue is he’s a chunky boy. He holds all his weight in his hips and thighs. He still at 15m has a “turtle in its shell” if that makes sense. Everything started reattaching and he developed a skin bridge because of it. I think this time around, we’re just going to wait until little man is born and see how he looks. If he is like his big brother, we may skip it. I don’t know. I think there are benefits to it, but this was just a little traumatic. Doesn’t help I was early into this pregnancy when he had the correction surgery. Lol Emotional and pregnant. Not a good mix. He’s perfectly fine, now, though.
@PurplePoppy424 When I was reading up on circumcision earlier this month, that was one of the complications that I read about! It's so strange that our skin heals the ways that it does, and that skin can reattach. Anyway, I'm glad that he's fine (and that you're fine, too). Any kind of surgery on such a little one can be nerve-wracking, let alone while dealing with pregnancy hormones!
Oh hey, speaking of skin attaching....GIRL MOMS! I didn’t know until we started dealing with this, but labial adhesions is totally a thing. My poor daughter is almost 4 and still dealing with it. Lack of estrogen makes it happen so we’ll likely be fighting it until puberty.
@madreofdragons my friend told me about how that happened to her daughter when I was pregnant with DD. I was like, whaaaaat??? I didn’t even know that was a thing! She had to put some sort of cream on it and her daughter is fine now. How long has your daughter been dealing with it?
Since about 18 months. We have to use estrogen cream that is usually for women going through menopause. Have to be very careful not to overuse it or it could throw her into puberty early. She’s supposed to naturally have a little estrogen surge right around now so hopefully that helps.
I have to agree that we are having the most civil conversation about circumcising I have ever witnessed on the interwebs lol
much like @PurplePoppy424 DS circumcision wasn’t spectacular. I don’t know what is common but as we aren’t Jewish my OB did it which I found very strange but apparently it is common for the Ob to do? Anyway, she messed it up and left extra skin too and the nurses in the hospital kept messing with it and couldn’t get it to stop bleeding. I felt terrible. I have since changed OBs for other reasons (but that also counted toward the growing list of reasons I was done with her) and I do have more confidence in this OB but I will be talking about it at length with everyone including my pediatrician so we don’t have a repeat.
DS is thankfully fine and doesn’t need a procedure to correct it - he’s just a little lopsided lol adds character
@madreofdragons I wonder if that is what happened to my friend’s daughter as she seemed to hit puberty somewhat early. It’s crazy the things that can happen.
@danixbanani24- adds character, lol. Glad he's fine! Yeah if you have it done at the hospital pre discharge, it seems that's the OB's department, which seems kinda odd to me as far as an OB's usual area of expertise not exactly being the penis, but I guess your kid's new ped isn't gonna make a hospital visit for that!!
“Labial adhesion” is one of the scariest phrases I’ve read in a while! Didn’t realize that was a thing at all. This boy mom is not ready for a baby girl.
DH wants a circumcision for DS, and I didnt fight that at all. I review medical charts for medicare patients all day, and Im shocked at how common it is for 70 yr old men to need a circumcision due to infections. I feel so bad for them!
@madreofdragons I did not know about that! But it is worth mentioning that baby girls sometime get a period while they are newborns. If someone hadnt told me, I probably would have made an unnecessary trip to the ER when DD was 5 days old.
Baby will not be circumcised. I left it up to DH. I do see pros and cons to both sides, but as I don’t have that body part, I left it up to DH, and he had an immediate opinion. And wut newborn girls can get periods???
@casperthefriendlybeeb - DS is circumcised. I really didn’t care either way - I don’t have a penis so what do I know and we’re not religious. DH is circ’d. The big reason we opted to do it is because of DH’s best friend (stick with me here). DH’s BF is not only a pediatrician, but had a medically necessary circumcision as a teenager. Everything went well do him, but the experience was nothing short of absolutely horrific (I won’t give details - but even as a female, I wanted to throw up) and he recommends people do it on that alone. Sure, it may not end up being medically necessary for all men, but it’s easier to have it done at a much younger age.
Since we opt to have it done, we don’t mess around and see a specialist - we have a sizable Jewish community in Seattle and as such there is a doctor who only performs circumcisions (on men of all ages) and largely does them for religious reasons. He was amazing - I didn’t go in the room when it was done (DH did) but other than some crying as it was done (which was less than I hear at shots), it was quick and easy and we have no regrets.
Thankfully, we haven’t had labial adhesions here, but I learned about them with my first BMB because one of the girls had such a severe one, she almost required it be dealt with surgically. You learn all kinds of wonderful things when you have kids
The big change in hormones makes the bleeding happen for newborn girls. I warned H for months that it could happen and she only had one diaper with the smallest spot of blood and I’m pretty sure his heart stopped for a few seconds.
I am glad there is so much discussion on the circumcision front. I told DH to choose. He immediately said yes. DH is not and he says he hates it. It is a pain to clean. My cousin got his done when he was a teenage and that was a horrible idea. I was spending some time therr when I was 11 and told my hubby I have zero opinion but he is not doing it later.
My friends son had it done but the just somehow did it non-surgically by tying something off and it came off later? She said it was the easiest thing to deal with. She was ready for the surgical way.
@grebretso you have to worry about penile adhesions with boys and if they are uncircumcised they are more likely. There is no escape
@hnbergeron there are different methods that can be used - each has advantages and disadvantages. We went with the method most recommended by the doctor because he’s literally the best in the business.
@kayjay44 Ugh. During this pregnancy, I keep flipping between thinking the human body is a miraculous and amazing thing for being able to create an entire person out of nothing but a couple cells, and also thinking "This is the best design nature could come up with?? Seriously?".
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
Re: Ask a STM week of Oct. 22
I’m glad to hear that it is not such an uncommon choice not to circumcise - I had in the back of my mind a fear that this LO to be the odd man out (I was concerned about the locker room situation later in life that @grebretso mentioned). DH is from South America and is uncircumcised, so he didn’t see why it could be an issue. Good to have some more reassurance on this one.
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
FWIW, my DH is circumcised and we decided not to do it with our first (and will follow suit with this babe). Funny enough, my FIL is also uncircumcised (and I only know because my DH and I beat the dead horse trying to decide because we were so “meh” about it). It’s a sign of the times... with my DH, it was commonplace and expected to do it. With my FIL, it was not.
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
but had to include this meme
We won’t be circumcising if our baby is a boy, even though my H is circumcised and a (very secular) Jew. That’s got to do with various personal beliefs, but also because I think there’s reason to think uncircumcised men might be more able to enjoy sexual pleasure.
I have to say, this is the most civilized discussion of a very polarizing topic I’ve seen online. I think we are a great group here! Very respectful of others while also able to express our own opinions. No drama llamas here!
BTW - Can’t wait to show DH that pirate meme @ssag Hysterical!
That said, I don’t know what we’ll do with DS2. We haven’t decided yet.
Love the pirate meme, @ssag!
@madreofdragons my friend told me about how that happened to her daughter when I was pregnant with DD. I was like,
whaaaaat??? I didn’t even know that was a thing! She had to put some sort of cream on it and her daughter is fine now. How long has your daughter been dealing with it?
much like @PurplePoppy424 DS circumcision wasn’t spectacular. I don’t know what is common but as we aren’t Jewish my OB did it which I found very strange but apparently it is common for the Ob to do? Anyway, she messed it up and left extra skin too and the nurses in the hospital kept messing with it and couldn’t get it to stop bleeding. I felt terrible. I have since changed OBs for other reasons (but that also counted toward the growing list of reasons I was done with her) and I do have more confidence in this OB but I will be talking about it at length with everyone including my pediatrician so we don’t have a repeat.
DS is thankfully fine and doesn’t need a procedure to correct it - he’s just a little lopsided lol adds character
Yeah if you have it done at the hospital pre discharge, it seems that's the OB's department, which seems kinda odd to me as far as an OB's usual area of expertise not exactly being the penis, but I guess your kid's new ped isn't gonna make a hospital visit for that!!
@madreofdragons I did not know about that!
But it is worth mentioning that baby girls sometime get a period while they are newborns. If someone hadnt told me, I probably would have made an unnecessary trip to the ER when DD was 5 days old.
se haven’t had a talk yet but I’m assuming we will circumcise if this baby is a boy!
And wut newborn girls can get periods???
Since we opt to have it done, we don’t mess around and see a specialist - we have a sizable Jewish community in Seattle and as such there is a doctor who only performs circumcisions (on men of all ages) and largely does them for religious reasons. He was amazing - I didn’t go in the room when it was done (DH did) but other than some crying as it was done (which was less than I hear at shots), it was quick and easy and we have no regrets.
Thankfully, we haven’t had labial adhesions here, but I learned about them with my first BMB because one of the girls had such a severe one, she almost required it be dealt with surgically. You learn all kinds of wonderful things when you have kids
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
My friends son had it done but the just somehow did it non-surgically by tying something off and it came off later? She said it was the easiest thing to deal with. She was ready for the surgical way.
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
@hnbergeron there are different methods that can be used - each has advantages and disadvantages. We went with the method most recommended by the doctor because he’s literally the best in the business.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024