Ask a STM week of Oct. 22

disneybaby84

FTMs asking STMs any and all questions!

nataliezbrungart

I plan on breastfeeding and I have read a lot of conflicting statements about waking baby to eat vs waiting for baby to wake. Any thoughts on the subject? 

bellebaby221

I never woke any of my kids to eat. Of course they were quite demanding and never really got to the point that I needed to wake them! Lol!
We actually got on a schedule pretty easily. 

BourbonBiscuits

I didn’t wake my son either - but he had no issues with feeding or gaining weight. His pediatrician said if there had been concerns about his weight he’d want us to wake him, but DS has always been a big kid and a big eater lol

kayjay44

I never woke my kids to eat, but neither of them had weight concerns. I wouldn't wake unless it's medically necessary, personally.

disneybaby84

From what I understand. you wake them if they don’t wake up naturally every 2-3 hours and they are hardcore sleepers (during newborn phase). My nephew was one of those kids.

bellebaby221

Anyone starting to think about how soon you'll want visitors after LO arrives? 
With our other ones we had people either in recovery or on my way to the room. This time I think want to be with her just DH and I for longer since she's our last baby. I figure we have her whole life to share her. I want to be a little selfish with those first hours this time. 

okayestmom12

@nataliezbrungart - I’ve always woke my kiddos up every 2/3 hours during the day to eat by not at night... let them sleep then! 

@bellebaby221 - I’m a c-section mom so after getting pretty sick during my first, I asked that only grandparents visit the day of my c/s with my second and even then, not until the afternoon when I had had a chance to clean myself up and my daughter had a chance to meet her brother first. We’ll set the same ground rules this time since it worked so well. Don’t be afraid to speak up about this! 

megpants209

@bellebaby221 we have started to think about it... So far we’ve decided that in the delivery room will only be H and that alone will cause issues. My mother has been present at every one of her grandchildren’s births so this will be interesting. For those following along, this is the same mother who told me she’d be staying for 6 weeks after baby is here...  

bellebaby221

@megpants209
I love my mom and she has been super helpful with all my kids but 6 weeks would be way too much!!
I'm a repeat c/s mom so the delivery room part is easy since the OR sets those rules. My ILs are the pushy ones so I'm going to make DH deal with them. I hope my surgery can be scheduled early in the morning and I'd like to keep everyone away until later in the afternoon when the boys can come meet their sister after school. That's assuming she cooperates and things go according to plan...

allthingsgo

DD was born via c section at 4am (after a long exhausting labor) and fortunately I didn’t have any visitors until around 10. My family and ILs knew what I had been through and DH was great at letting them know I needed to rest. They were also respectful and made sure I was up for visitors. I’m hoping for a vbac and to not be as out of it for as long so I can actually enjoy that special family time without being passed out lol. But I know I’ll want to see DD soon after too. So we are going to take a ‘we will let you know’ approach. 

BourbonBiscuits

DS was born after 27 hours of pitocin labor (all back labor), a failed epidural and 2.5 hours of pushing, so I have only very vague memories of people visiting us lol. I know my MIL and her husband came before we were in the recovery room - they brought McDonald’s breakfast and cookie cake because all I could talk about during labor was a McGriddle and cookie cake with blue icing lol. They stayed for probably 10 mins though and held him while I slept. As soon as I woke up they left to let us be together as a family. It wasn’t bad actually because (for once in her life!) MIL was super respectful of boundaries without us even having to set them.

This time my mom will have DS. I want him to meet the baby first, but not until I’m recovered and can hold him/not look like I’m half dead. So it’ll probably be a half day after she’s born before we want anyone to come. 

ginger1228

I’m limiting visitors this time. Last time we had people in and out and I was exhausted. No one seemed to know when to leave! I want DD to meet baby first and then will allow grandparents. I’ve decided I’m not telling many people this time. I want rest!

sjnsjnsjn

We didn't let anyone come to the hospital at all.  No family lives anywhere near us, so we got to plot things a bit, once we had DS.
We let my SO's parents come to see my DS a few days after we got home, only because they were about to go on a 4 week cruise and so it was then or a long time from then. We let my mom come at 2 weeks, when my SOwas going back to work. Others came occasionally after that.

I would do basically the same this time except someone will be in town to watch DS, and we might want DS to come to the hospital st some point, so we have to figure out how the plan changes this time, because of that.

disneybaby84

Last time DS ended up in the NICU 2 hours after he was born. He didn’t leave until 6 days old. I didn’t have hospital visitors. Not really planning on hospital visitors this time. I might change my mind, but wouldn’t have any visitors until I’ve slept a little.

bww_0331

DS woke like clockwork  every 2 hours to nurse so I never had to worry about that. Should I get lucky and get a sleeper this time I definitely plan to let them sleep unless there are weight issues. 

My parents came to me to visit a few hours after DS was born but only stayed 45-60 minutes. They pretty much just visited at meal times to bring food and would leave. They were really great about boundaries. MIL was a baby hound and really frustrating. They couldn’t come until the next day and she was texting us every half an hour the morning we were discharged because she was so impatient for us to get home (they were staying there for a few days) and almost drove down to visit WHILE we were trying to get discharged. We didn’t know many people and didn’t have close friends in that town so it was just family. This time we have moved back to where our friends are so I anticipate more visitors. We will space them out/limit visitors but it will feel nice to have a few close friends and feel that support this time. 

kayjay44

It’s just DH and I in the delivery room. My parents will bring the kids the day of or next day and my ILs will visit once we tell them the baby is born (which I why we say nothing to them until LO has arrived and we are settled. Other than that, we don’t really get visitors until we go home. 

lmaplejc

Wondering if any STMs did not circumcise their sons.  DH is very against it so we are not going to.  When we went to pediatrician interviews they all said it doesn’t really matter.  I just wanted to see if any STMs with uncircumcised boys had any thoughts, regrets, or tips (pun intended).

hannahbananas11

FTM question about pumping bags: how do breast milk storage bags work for pumping? Do you need one that's specific to your pump's brand, or are they all interchangeable? I'll be using a Spectra pump, so I'm wondering if I can register for Medela or some other brand of breast milk storage bags. Also, do you just pump right into the bag? How does it work?

BourbonBiscuits

@hannahbananas11 I used the target bags with my medela pump. I typically pumped into bottles and filled bags from there - that way I knew I could make a full bag to freeze instead of two weird sized bags. There is an extension for the medela pump (I’m sure others too) to hook the bag on where the bottle would be but I never used it. 

hannahbananas11

@BourbonBiscuits That's helpful info! I received some Medela bags in a registry sample thing from Target, and I had never thought about how to actually store the milk from pumping. The Spectra pump that I'm getting comes with two bottles, so I'll probably go the route that you used and pump into the bottle, then transfer the milk to storage bags. Thanks!

okayestmom12

Ditto what @BourbonBiscuits said about milk bags. Used Target brand as well after pumping into bottles and pouring into bags. 

And always freeze them flat - they store much easier that way! 

allthingsgo

@okayestmom12 and @BourbonBiscuits did either of you experience any leaks while defrosting with the target bags? I used the lanisoh bags bc even though every 10th one leaked (I learned real fast to defrost in another sterile container in case it did leak), others leaked even more. I never tried the target ones though. 

conchispita

I like the kiinde bags because you can pump directly into them (less stuff to wash and sterilize) and they have a screw on top so they don’t leak. The starter kit comes with different adapters, can’t remember if an adapter for spectra pumps was in there.

conchispita

Did anyone give a gift the thier first child from the baby? Apparently a bunch of my husband’s coworkers did and felt like it helped thier older child bond with the baby. Any thoughts?

BourbonBiscuits

@allthingsgo that’s actually why I switched to target brand - because the medela ones I was gifted leaked everywhere. I read online that the target ones were the best and they totally worked for me!

kdrn913

I used the lanisoh bags almost exclusively and liked them but also interested in how the target bags worked! Yes to lying flat for freezing, such a space saver. 

agea

@casperthefriendlybeeb our son is uncircumcised and zero regrets. It can become a hot topic so I won’t throw out a lot of opinions but will say that not circumcising is the norm in many other parts of the world. Unless there’s a medical reason, I truly wouldn’t worry. 

dcaron10

Another vote for target pumping bags. I used lanisoh a little bit and they were good too but I mostly used target and never had an issue with leaks

disneybaby84

@conchispita I have heard about gift from baby theory, I’ve also heard about buying a “baby” for the first child. 

sjnsjnsjn

@conchispita- Several people have told me to buy DS a gift "from the baby."

okayestmom12

@casperthefriendlybeeb - Ditto everything @ssag said. DS is uncircumcised and this DS will be as well. No regrets, no issues. 

okayestmom12

@conchispita - We bought DD a gift from the baby. Two small frozen plush dolls, a few Dollar Spot Play Packs (to keep her entertained while visiting the hospital), and a Big Sister photo album for her to carry around to daycare to show off her new brother. 

etnyah

@casperthefriendlybeeb The only issue with not circumcising (according to my H who isn’t), is being teased for looking different in the locker room. However, that won’t be an issue with the next generation of boys since it’s pretty much 50/50 now anyway. When H was in school it was pretty unusual. 

Some people will say there’s a higher infection risk when not circumcising, but that’s a minimal one. Barely anyone are circumcised where I’m from and I’ve never heard of that being a problem. Us ladies have way more infections downstairs than men anyway, and we’re fine!

bellebaby221

@conchispita
We gave our older boys playskool digital cameras when our youngest was born. That way they could take pictures of the baby. They loved them!

sjnsjnsjn

While we're talking about our older kid(s) and intro with the newbie, I am trying to figure out whether, after we bring the newbie home, we should keep DS (who will be almost 2.5 and is a complete wild man) home for a few days for family bonding, or whether that Tasmanian devil should just stay in school. Thoughts?

conchispita

Thanks @okayestmom12 @bellebaby221, DD has a ton of baby dolls already, so I might get her a mini baby sling for her dolls. I love the camera & photo album idea, hopefully those can keep her entertained.

hannahbananas11

@casperthefriendlybeeb Echoing what everyone else said so far. The infection risk for UTIs and STIs is slightly higher, but that's usually due to insufficient cleaning around the foreskin, which is something that is completely preventable by the parents when the child is little, and by the child as he gets older. It sounds like the peds that you saw were good: they shouldn't push the decision one way or the other, as it's mainly a personal decision that has very few health factors either way.

bellebaby221

@sjnsjnsjn
My older boys were about 3.5 when our youngest was born. I came home on a Saturday so we had 2 days together but on Monday they went back to preschool. Our pediatrician actually said that keeping them in their routine would be a good thing. And it was always so cute how excited they were to see him!

sjnsjnsjn

@bellebaby221- That makes sense. I cannot imagine really having my DS home for long while I am nursing and couchbound mostly. 

danixbanani24

I think people get turned off about not circumcising because it takes extra care.  We chose to circumcise DS and will with this LO too.  DH is circumcised as well but I have no issues with those who choose not to.  I agree with it less for the cosmetic reasons but more for the cleanliness etc reasons...NOT saying uncircumcised is dirty or anything like that but I know myself and I’d be concerned with the extra care it takes.  

Re: baby dolls - DS is very caring and loving toward animals and this past weekend he asked for a baby stuffed panda wrapped in a leaf blanket (Disney Animal Kingdom Lol) and he held it like a baby and rocked it and pretended to feed it when it cried.  So damn cute!! We will also do a “gift” from baby brother when he comes and I really like the album idea to show his friends at school!