FFFC 10/19

ladystout08

ladystout08

I always thought people were full of shit when they got ultrasounds and said their unborn baby looked like someone. Then I saw my daughter in 3D just now and damn it she looks like her father already.

molosmiles

@ladystout08 this was me yesterday. I had a 3d ultrasound pic taken and baby boy looks JUST like DD2. I thought I was making it up in my head but everyone I sent it to said the same thing. My mom even sent me her newborn pics, lol. 

ladystout08

@molosmiles seriously. I can see the resemblance between her and her brother when he was a newborn and since DS looks identical to DH, they're all gonna look alike. 

kaf1788

I'm hesitant to let my MIL watch my LO very often if at all. Every time I go over there any my almost 2 year old nephew is there they just stick him in a playpen in front of Sesame Street for hours. I am 100% willing to concede that I might be eating these words once I actually have a child and need a break, but I just don't think a kid so little needs that much screen time. 

nononorman

@kaf1788 this is bothersome to me and it’s also why I don’t like to have my MIL watch my daughter. It’s happened like twice for a couple hours. Why is it that when they FINALLY get a chance to be with the grandchild they have to just plop them in front of cartoons??? 

Someone alluded to my FFFC in the UO yesterday but I agree this group is very tame compared to my last BMB and some sick part of me (maybe all of me, not sure) is waiting for the dramz to kick up. WE CANT ALL AGREE ALL THE TIME PEOPLES

kianarain

My sister is having an impromptu gender reveal this week - it was supposed to be at the end of the month, but she's apparently moving it up last minute. I worked a 70 hour week last week, came into the office over the weekend & worked 13 hour days Monday & Tuesday, including client schmoozing and long, alcohol-less (on my part) dinners. My "ankles" look like you inserted my thigh into a shoe, my back aches & I'm just f*cking tired. I told her I could do mornings or nothing this weekend. She has prenatal yoga on Saturday and is getting "coffee with the pregos" (gag) beforehand, so "will send pics". *Insert guilt trip here* 

I don't even feel guilty that I don't have plans and am going to miss it lol. Protecting this weekend at all costs. 

Eta: my sister doesn't work (and this is her first LO) and could really do prenatal yoga whenever TF she wants. I complained about work last week and she said "yeah, I sat on a plane for 6 hours today!!! I feel you!" …… do you girl? 

skilouise

@wolfmum

After that "Bump Blackout" thread the other day, I spent some time lurking TTGP.  I'd forgotten how snarky it can get over there, and how tame our board is by comparison. I really like the calm/ sane/ supportive group we have on here, but agree that there's a small part of me that thinks occasional drama would be entertaining. If nothing else, a little drama would help weed out any closet crazies before any possible transition to a private group or Facebook!

nononorman

@AshVA my other BMB went to a group before FB which I felt was a good way to do it. I went on our spreadsheet here the other day and saw there’s like five women per due date which feels like an insane amount but then I remembered only about 50 moved to the private group in my last BMB. I’ve been wondering if/when it’s gonna happen.  

galactickates

@wolfmum I would definitely prefer a private group before Facebook.  There are quite a few lurkers, semi active people, and some I just don't care for. I think a middle ground is good before sharing private information and we would be able to weed these people out. 

nononorman

@galactickates my last BMB started their group right around this time. I’ll admit I’m not as active on here as most but I think a lot of people open up more in the private group. When we did it before you had to request to be added which I think added a level of... commitment? You weren’t going to ask if you weren’t sticking around and intending to be active. Honestly I haven’t felt like i was active enough to even bring up the topic! 


I have another FFFC- I had my one hour GTT this morning and I guess will find out results Monday. No reason to think I’ll have issues (had my glucose tested a couple weeks ago for work) but I’m using the pending results as a reason to eat happily. I got a speeding ticket going through a school zone this morning and my primary thought was how my damn bagel was getting cold! 

galactickates

@wolfmum I would definitely be willing to start talking about a private group whenever.  Facebook isn't really something I'm interested at the moment.  

bradleysmommy28

@kianarain that crap drives me insane!!  I know being a SAHM has it's own stress and stuff but I work full time from home and do all the SAHM stuff plus all things work from 6:30-3 and still get DS ready in the morning and do school drop off and pick up alone b/c DH is at work by 5am.  I'm also planning to keep this baby home for the first 6 mos while continuing to work.  I made a comment about being exhausted during a conversation with friends the other day and 2 of them told me they too were just "exhausted beyond belief" and then made plans to go to the gym, have massages and do lunch together while the kids are in school.  Both are SAHMs, one has a 6 mo old and the other a 3 yr old with one older child in kindergarten.  Both also have MILs who are retired and watch the younger kids so they can run errands during the day while husbands are at work and older kids at school.  Please, just don't talk to me right now.  

emmaaa

I've thought from the beginning how slow this board is compared to my last BMB. Last time, If I missed a day, I got so far behind. This time? Not so much. Which makes me not participate as much which is part of the problem. I don't mind there not being "drama" but it's just kind of boring 

skilouise

@wolfmum @galactickates

+1 to preferring a private bump group before a facebook group. I'm in a facebook group with about 15 TTGPers from 2015, but we had a lot of interim steps before we got to that point. I think it went TTGP>larger private group>smaller private group> even smaller Facebook group. I think it gives people a chance to open up more knowing what they're saying (even anonymously) isn't on the open internet for everyone to see.

galactickates

@emmaaa I completely agree the board is slow.  I was really turned off at the beginning and it made me not want to share or participate as much as I did when I was on TTGP. I'm not sure if we're all just doing that but I feel like I don't know the people on this bmb like I knew the ttgp ladies. It makes me sad, but I want the support after we have our babes. 

nononorman

Agree @emmaaa it’s horrible but I stepped away for a week or so just because I was busy and I came back and it was like... crickets. Nothing new. No ones fault, just different. I think a group might help inspire some people to talk more since their ish won’t be out in the open. 

@galactickates happy to help with whatever. Just not sure where to start and don’t want to overstep! 

emmaaa

@galactickates Yeah, after the babies are here is when it is so nice to have the support from everyone, even just solidarity. I know I didn't  know my last BMB super well at this point but I did feel more of a connection too

emmaaa

It doesn't help that I hate the layout of The Bump community Boards and responding and reacting sucks

tosh24

I also like the idea of a private group before FB. With my last BMB, you had to request to join the secret FB group but there were a bunch of admins and I think some of them were a little less discretionary than others. The first 6-12 months were spent weeding out the crazies (and holy shit, some of them were NUTS). But now we have a pretty solid group of 120 and we've been through some tough stuff together: a micro-premie, repeat miscarriages, divorces, cancer diagnosis, death of parents and siblings, special needs children, the tragic death of one of our Dec 11 infants, and even the murder of a husband. We've travelled across the continent to have get-togethers and meet IRL and have formed life long friendships. Our "babies" are 7 this year and we are as close as ever as a group. I love those ladies to pieces. I have great hopes that this BMB will be just as awesome....but it would be nice to not have to deal with as much crazy drama in the beginning so maybe moving to a more private platform for a bit before FB will weed out those who aren't interested in putting in the effort.

kianarain

@bradleysmommy28 yesssss to all of that! Full time working while pregnant is hard effing work and special kudos to the women that do that with other LOs. I never want to make it an "I'm MORE exhausted" competition, but I feel like the people who *may* have it a little easier tend to play that game. 

My sister's big gig right now is fostering kittens, and she always talks about being SO stressed/busy... I'm laughing thinking about how breezy my days would be if I didn't work, no kids to take care of aside from the one on the way, cooking elaborate dinners and playing w kittens. Oh and "coffee/yoga w the pregos". If she can't move around her absolutely slaaaammmmed schedule to accommodate me, how bad does she really want me there for the gender reveal? Again, no guilt over hurr. 

skilouise

I think 87% of the problem is how difficult the Bump app makes it to gif anymore.  Gifs make everything better, but it's such a pain to use them in the app. 

leighbrek

The Bump app totally sucks. I was never part of any other boards, so I don't know the difference from one to the other.. But I do know that I really hate drama. lol. I think I put that in an older UO. I have no patience for drama and totally cannot stand reality TV, either!

wkuandrea

Agreed with @emmaaa and PPs... I did expect a little drama, and it is a little boring at times... but I'm not sure what to do to spice it up?! I'm pretty easy going and really open minded in general, so that's my problem with not personally shit-stirring.  

nononorman

@tosh24 if we were on fb I would have WOW reactioned that post. 

pttomato

I find being a SAHM to a two year old exhausting. DH even says he’s glad he can go to work to get a break from her. 😬 I never say anything about being exhausted to working moms though.

skilouise

Honestly, since we were able to have a (mostly) calm, respectful, science- based vaccine debate back in first/ early second tri, I don't see much potential for major drama on the board going forward lol

kianarain

I also haven't been a part of other BMBs, so don't have a standard to compare to - but what can we do as a group to get there? I've heard awesome stories like @tosh24 said and want that for us! If it's making a private group, let's do it. Or any other tips to how we can spice up the current board?

Also must admit that I do enjoy the occasional drama

tosh24

wolfmum said:k

Agree @emmaaa it’s horrible but I stepped away for a week or so just because I was busy and I came back and it was like... crickets. Nothing new. No ones fault, just different. I think a group might help inspire some people to talk more since their ish won’t be out in the open. 

I agree. I am a really open person, but not on TB. I don't really talk about my schedule (e.g. if DH or I are out of town for any reason), don't like to share a lot about family or my kids' lives, my job, where I live, or anything that can be pieced together over time to determine who I am IRL. So most of my chatter is restricted to pregnancy talk and other benign/boring things. I'm guessing there are probably a bunch of us like this.

nononorman

I love watching dramz like that cat. No shame over here. Maybe we start the PG and go from there. My last one had a few admins but admission was open for like a day or two as long as people requested (shows you who is active) then late admissions were voted on. It seems horrifying but yes they voted to see if they wanted me in  very hunger games. The admins were meant to be more neutral so they could sort out debates between members. Then as time went on they would help weed out members who didn’t respond for weeks or months. There was some level of one weekly check in - even if it was just to say “hi I’m alive”. 

I too have a lively group in July17... oddly I had two local girls in the group too, both of which I’ve seen many times. My daughter goes to gymnastics with one of the other women’s kids and we’ve met a few others from the group. No one has killed their husband but it’s early yet. 

skilouise

@tosh24 +1.  I'm so careful about posting any details that could be used to piece together who I am.  It's way too easy for someone to read through years of one person's posts, and string together random tidbits of information. 

pttomato

I hate fetal monitoring at this gestational age. I know it’s to make sure the baby is doing ok, but there hasn’t been any indication that he’s not, and he moves a lot. It hard to keep him on the monitor and they end up picking up little things that are normal at this stage but make the nurses get all worried and then I get more monitoring and prevented from eating, which sometimes will trigger contractions. 

galactickates

@AshVA that's the other thing,  everything you say here becomes part of your post history and i want a little privacy.  There has been a couple times ive wanted to vent about family or friends but I don't ever want them finding it somehow.  

tosh24

@wolfmum we had the same sort of organization/rules when our FB group got started. There was a posting minimum (barring extenuating circumstances) and you were kicked out if you were basically just a lurker.

And one of the moms didn't murder their husband lol (although I'm sure a lot of us have wanted to over the years  )....the woman's husband was shot and killed, likely involving some sort of gang or organzed crime (the husband seemed to be a "peacekeeper" in a somewhat rough community). It was really sad.

bradleysmommy28

@tosh24 I'm a part of the Feb12 lovebugs and we have been through soooo much together in 6 years and some of those girls are some of my best friends also!  We've had our fair share of drama (including splitting into 2 groups b/c of love/hate relationships) but it's so amazing to have other mom's to lean on and sound off.  I'm probably more open than I should be but I would def prefer something private and closer.  Especially as we get close to a point where the first baby of our group could be born realistically any day now.  I will say, my Feb12 BMB is probably the one thing that really helped get me through my hospital bedrest/preemie/NICU days!

bradleysmommy28

@pttomato I give SAHMs a LOT of credit, especially when I worked outside of home and it felt like a "break" from DS.  It's mainly the ones that brag about MILs who take their kids so they can do errands alone which I have to juggle with a kid while pregnant when I'm off work for the day and STILL complain how tired they are because they had to wake up and get their kid ready for school when their only pressing plans are to go to the gym and get a message, that I take offense to.  I even asked the one with a 6 mo old how he was sleeping at night thinking she had a baby who didn't like sleep and she said he sleeps great until 5 but her husband feeds him and puts him back to sleep until 7 when she has to get the 5 yr old up for school.  At that point I had to leave.  I hate complaining but I've been dealing with insomnia, wake up at 5 to get DSs lunch and clothes together before he wakes up at 6 and I start work at 6:30 - this is ALL before she is even out of bed!  I know I'm extra cranky and tired this week hence where the FFFC originated from but man, I just want to go to gym, get a message and have a kid free/work free/stress free lunch too!!

PS - I also hate hunting season and I'm a hunting widow this week so it just adds to the exhaustion level of everything   

pttomato

@bradleysmommy28 I get it. That’s why I am careful who talk to about being tired to. When our kids were babies, DD was still waking up every 2 hours and my sister would call and complain to me how exhausted she was because her son woke up at 5:30 after sleeping 11 hours straight. (We both SAH and our kids are the same age). I was not the right person for her to complain to. I do feel like I shouldn’t be so exhausted from taking care of a single toddler, people do way more all the time. I figure it’s a combination of my personality and DD’s sensory issues.

bradleysmommy28

another FFFC - I cannot take anymore work today so instead I'm monitoring my email and phone for any fires that need tending to and bumping and eating copious amounts of candy because, life.  I have a 2pm video conference and I'm pretty sure I'm ducking out afterwards to pick up DS early (he's at a friends house because there's no school today) and do nothing the rest of the day.  I just hope DS is on board with a low key night...

mrsmang

@bradleysmommy28 that sounds like my whole week...  it was pretty quiet with stuff going on, and while I had a few things on a to do list, none of them were pressing. I’ve basically sat at my desk on my phone and answering emails and sitting on calls all week. Oops!

tosh24

@bradleysmommy28 How about breakfast for dinner and a pj and movie night snuggled on the couch? And a slumber party in the family room? That's what I do when I just can't parent anymore lol. The kids think it's super fun and have no idea I'm mailing it in  I feed them cereal or eggs and pancakes, we get our jammies on, and we pull out our foam mattresses and sleeping bags and fall asleep watching movies (with some popcorn of course!). No fighting with them to get ready for bed and I totally bail on a night of teethbrushing. And I get to just lay around for a whole night. Everybody wins!

ladystout08

@AshVA we haven't discussed circumcision yet so there's still time. 

I feel like I'd be more active in a private group. Since @BumpAdmin still won't let me change my f-ing user name I don't post nearly as much as I think I would. 

FFFC: I'm glad this baby is a girl so I don't have to have the knock down, drag out, screaming match about circ'ing again with DH.