Oct 2018 FET

Stars2016

Hi everyone, I just had a FET today and wanted to join this board to get to know others going through the same process currently. This waiting until my beta is going to be tough. My embryo was PGS tested but only graded 2BB so I’m not super optimistic. Hoping to get to know you all and thinking positive thoughts for everyone! 

mkr_0128

Welcome @Stars2016!! Hoping the wait until beta isn't too painful and that this cycle is successful for you  

mkr_0128

AFM- No real update lol. Took my last BCP tonight though! Now to wait for my lovely AF which needs to come by Tuesday at the latest or my cycle dates will be delayed!! 

dreamunoz

@Stars2016 welcome, I’m new Here too. Sending you all the positive vibes for a successful transfer!!

 The TWW is hard. I had a transfer in September that resulted in a chem pregnancy. The TWW was pretty much torture. I obsessively took home tests starting at day 5 or 6. I would advise against that...it definitely didn’t help anything. At first they were negative and it was discouraging, then we got faint positives and we were soooo excited only to have our beta reveal it was a chemical. The highs and lows were hard to deal with. I would advise if u do home test, wait to close to ur beta and only take one or two. Don’t drive urself crazy like i did. i will be having another transfer later this month and definitely will wait until the day before my beta if I home test at all. 

Try to to distract yourself as much as you can and stay calm and easy...so much easier said than done. I found that the first 4 days were the hardest and dragged on for what seemed like forever, after the first 4 days time sped up a little. 

babydust2507

welcome @Stars2016 and happy PUPO! wish you the best in this cycle and don't be down with this grading thing, I'm not a RE but I have heard people with CC getting pregnant so you WILL get your BFP, ok girl! and yours was PGS tested, don't worry and stay positive! how was your lining? sending you all positive vibes for this 2WW
@mkr_0128 can they delay a cycle if you don't get your period cycle after BCP? I don't think so... I didn't have a period after my BCP (just light spotting) during my IVF cycle but they still proceeded with my calendar, unless it's different with FET... otherwise I think you shouldn't worry 

purplg8r

@roisis Thanks ladies!!

@wishing-and-hoping I’ve been take 2mg twice and a day and bumped up to 4mg twice a day. (This was planned before today’s appt)

@MamaK225 interesting!  But I don’t eat or drink anything with those 

@mkr_0128 thankfully they’re giving me until Monday. And come on AF!

@ndz2018 I grabbed some Pom juice but didn’t think of a heating pad!

@leilee101 they did say it was trilaminar so that’s good I guess. How would I get an estrogen boost? And oh no!  That’s so so frustrating!!  I’m sorry—hopefully it’ll be at 0 next draw!  

@babydust2507 I asked about delaying it more and my RE says they don’t want to do anything if my uterus isn’t doing what it’s supposed. Since I only have 2 pgs normal, she doesn’t want to waste anything 

@hereforthebabies I haven’t heard of delestrogen. Definitely going to look it up!

@blackhottamales that’s just annoying!  If you’re OOP, you should be able to choose what pharmacy you go with 

@Stars2016 welcome!  FX this cycle was successful for you!

AFM they called and they are going to have me come in Monday. I messaged them a little bit ago to see if I should take the estrogen vaginally instead of orally. I bought some Pom juice too to see if that helps at all. 

babydust2507

ok i see @purplg8r but I got my FX for you and hope for a great news on your next appt!

agaun

@Bababatty and @Griffin5413
Good luck. 
@dreamunoz
Thank you for sharing your story. 
I kinda agree and disagree with the sharing thing. I told anyone who wanted to know about my last IUI and when I got a positive I told them that as well. Not on the day of the loss I did regret telling them as now I needed to tell them about the loss. 
This however helps me know as they about my struggles and it feels like it's not just us having to deal with it. 
So with IVF cycle I have again told everyone and I will tell everyone how it turns out. For me this helps others appreciate that they don't have issues falling pregnant and well also not to ask random friends when more are coming. 
So I also feel that if someone is nagging for updates it's just cause they care and are excited for you. But I understand not wanting to share as well because when you feeling the loss you really don't want to be answering all those questions. 

mkr_0128

@babydust2507 I think they can delay it! My paper says if you don't have a period/bleed after 5 days off pills, your Estrogen start and cycle dates may be delayed.

ndz2018

@Stars2016 Welcome!!! Congrats on your FET!! You’re the 3rd person to have their transfer on my birthday today! Hoping that brings you lots and lots of luck! 

dreamunoz

@dan-g I definitely don’t think there is anything wrong with sharing if u are comfortable to do so. With my last cycle, pretty much anyone who Inspeak to regularly was aware every step of the way...I tend to be a person that openly shares my life with those I care about. When we got the positive hpt, i shared that as well and everyone was so excited to only a couple days later have to tell everyone the bad news while the emotion was still so raw for me. Of course everyone was super supportive but honestly I just didn’t want to speak to anyone those first couple days. 

This time we decided for us it it would be easier if we kept it private between us at least until after our beta if not longer. 

northbeach3

**lurking**

@MamaK225 what DPT are you? Those sound like good symptoms! It started with vivid dreams and crazy exhaustion that felt like being hungover or having no sleep. Fx for you! How long until beta?  I was able to avoid POAS but only bc my clinic tests early on 5/6dpt. 

*waves* and happy bday to @ndz2018 and welcome back from vaycay @roisis. Excited to see y’alls progress this month. 

Congrats on being PUPO @Bababatty. 

roisis

@leilee101 I'm so sorry you've been held up so long. Delays are the worst. I'd definitely set up the November group - sounds like a few of us might be popping in there two. Keep your heart up - it's going down slowly - but it is going down
@Stars2016 Welcome!! Any plans for the TWW?
@dreamunoz I try to take a very regimented approach to the TWW and not testing. I buy 2 FRER tests with the knowledge that I will take one 2 days before Beta and the other on the morning of Beta (and my clinic does late Betas) - and I say 'knowledge' rather than 'attempt' very deliberately!!! This does not change. I have seen too many people freak out and do crazy things from early testing. Personally I don't even consider the option - I just stubbornly state that this is what I do! Time-wise I try to think of it in chunks of 2-3 days - as in I need to get ** done over the weekend. Or I need to contact ** by wednesday to arrange coffee for the weekend. Try to fill your calendar. Oh and jigsaws - I love jigsaws! I asked my sis for one for my bday so I have a 1,000 Disney puzzle ready to come out of the box

@babydust2507 @dreamunoz @dan-g Regarding telling people, I'm a bit in the middle. **TW loss mention** I've been going through this so long that quite a few of my friends and all of my immediate family know about my ivf. I'm not keen on telling too many about the transfer at this stage - I likewise don't want people constantly asking for updates - but if I get a BFP I will tell my family and a few select close friends. After having gone through two losses I know how important it is to have people know what you're going through if it comes to the worst, and it would be too hard to have to say 'I was pregnant but now I'm not' - that kinda adds extra stress to it. I know everyone has a different take on this, but for me there is only so much I can suffer in silence. I hope none of us have to deal with this situation **

AFM - Period Watch is in yucky brown stuff mode. Thought I might get it last night, but no further along this morning.


And @northbeach3 Squeeeeeeeeeee!!!! I haven't been lurking on the September boards - I completely missed your latest news! I just saw your history - that's so exciting!!!!

babydust2507

@mkr_0128 OMG I got my fingers crossed for you then! i didn't know it could delay the process, but I know you'll get it, AF will probably come this weekend
@ndz2018 GL on your saline sono today! and keep us posted!
@roisis and @dreamunoz, that's good and positive insight, and make perfectly sense i just hope I will b strong enough to share it with my love ones, or maybe the reality is I'm kinda ashamed to have go thru all this and still having difficulties to get pregnant so I rather people not knowing that I'm trying that hard but I do agree that it helps to have people around when you going thru a lot 

dreamunoz

@roisis i actually love that approach to testing...may do that myself. My clinic tests 9 or 10 days post transfer so I don’t have a full TWW, but I think if I take your approach and have a strong conversation with myself that those two tests will be the only ones i use, hopefully i can avoid obsessive testing. I think last transfer I ended up taking like 8 or 9 tests smh! As devastated as I was last cycle...I think it was a learning experience and I will go into this cycle calmer and more self aware which will hopefully make for a happy uterus lol. 

ndz2018

@northbeach3 THANKS DOLL! And  congrats lady!!!

AFM, I’m sitting in the waiting room waiting for my saline sono... FX everything looks good in there! I love How they make an appointment for 8:45 and yet at 9:10 I’m still sitting here waiting!!!   

kristimh80

@ndz2018 Thinking of you today!!! Sending lots of good vibes for a good sono!

mkr_0128

Thank you @babydust2507! I'm about at my natural cycle time-wise, so I'm hoping I start to spot this weekend and AF comes Monday or Tuesday!! I'm with you on not wanting to tell anyone... I didn't even tell ANYONE we were trying (naturally) when I thought everything was fine. I'm certainly not wanting to tell anyone we are trying now with IVF

roisis

@ndz2018 Good luck in your sono
@babydust2507 I know what you mean about not telling. I didn't set out to tell anyone, it was just as time passed I feel in to conversations with certain people and it felt natural to talk about it. Each person is different, so I say just do whatever will help you - whether that's keeping it to yourself, telling the world or anywhere in between. 
@dreamunoz Ooo that's a lot of testing! You can be strong. I actually put the test dates into my calendar - then it's an appointment to keep - rather than something that can be moved!

I have red blood flow - CD1 - huzzah (and also - owwwww)! I've made my next appointment and start estrogen tomorrow. Roll on the pornographic dreams
Edit: is it weird that I came here to tell you guys before I emailed DH????? <oops> 

wishing-and-hoping

@roisis is it the estrogen that causes those dreams? def had one last night   also i think i'm going to take your approach to testing.  only 8 more days til i can test (how will i make it?!) 

@ndz2018 hope your sono shows a *perfect* uterus

@purplg8r FX for monday!!!

@Stars2016 welcome and congrats on being PASP and PUPO!  my embryo was also 2BB but i am not sure that the grading system is the same (she explained the "2" portion to me a little differently than i've heard it described here)... anyway she told me it's totally average and our chances are as good as any - i.e. on par with what the clinic results are.  I am super pessimistic (wish I wasn't!) but I think it's just natural after being burned so many times in this process.  when is your beta?

babydust2507

@roisis I do the same thing sometimes! like posting updates before even telling DH hahaha! I guess it's because we all going through the same thing 

ndz2018

THANKS FOR ALL THE WELL WISHES!! 

Ok ok so good news and bad new(but the bad news isn’t terrible) 

Good news - is my saline sono looks GREAT! Everything is clear and my Ute looks GORGEOUS! 

Bad new -  We have a meeting with the clinic social worker and it’s not till the 19th... bc of all the delays and BS they just want to check in with us make sure we’re ok and won’t be moving forward till that appointment on 10/19. So looks like I’m OUT for oct FET and closer to the beginning of Nov UGH!  HOWEVER that being said, I will try to get an appointment sooner But I have A feeling we won’t be able to get one.

Im def disappointed a little that I wont Be in Oct FET but I’m so used to getting delayed that 2 weeks is a walk in the park for me. I’m def going to stick around here with all you guys cheering you on!!! 

mkr_0128

Yay for flow @roisis!! Onto the next step

ndz2018

@roisis YAY!!! Period watch 2018 is OVER!!!! 

blackhottamales

I'm just hoping in to share my experience regarding sharing:

We didn't tell anyone we were trying for the first year and a half.  Then i did tell my mom and two sisters.  At first i wasn't going to tell anyone about IVF, but my husband actually told some family during our annual family reunion in July.  It felt nice for people to know--I just got sick of every month being sad and disappointed and having to fake being happy.  I'm really enjoying sharing my experience and the amazing science behind IVF, i find it incredible.  It's an incredible journey that we are experiencing.  Sure, do i not get to have that "surprise, we are expecting" moment; but as one of my sisters said, she's squeal as much or even more when we do find out.  Sharing has actually helped me stay really calm during this process (though i'm grateful no one asks too many questions and they let me lead the conversation).  

northbeach3

@ndz2018 oh man, your system certainly likes to test your patience. You have been a trooper, but like you said...what’s two weeks when you’ve got a clear Ute and a plan in sight! Nov is right around the corner!!

@roisis it’s slow going over here. Love my clinic for their early betas but then it comes around with much later u/s. First one isn’t for another two weeks when I’ll be 7w. Just trying to take a more measured approach this time. Hey, I never even POAS this time since I drove myself so crazy last time.  mostly just incredibly tired. Congrats on AFs arrival!

kristimh80

@ndz2018 Yay for a great sono! But Jesus take the wheel!! I wanna go to your clinic and yell at them on your behalf so badly!! Can you stay on BC til then, and start the FET meds right away? If so....then like you said, it's only a couple of weeks. My heart goes out to you though. I'm still dumbfounded how they let social workers decide whether you can have a baby or not. Esp knowing your last one...her kids didn't even like her so she was anti anyone having kids. 

roisis

@ndz2018 Ah man!! That kinda sucks that you won't be transferring with us this month - but you're right in that at least it's not a 'major' holdup. Congrats on a successful sono
@wishing-and-hoping Yeah - as far as I remember I started with the weird dreams once I took estrogen last time. So I'm blaming that for them (I say 'blaming' but hey - what's the harm!!?). And you can totally hold out - I have faith in you!!!!
@babydust2507 Yup! I've now informed DH that he is in charge of getting me pizza and wine this evening. Also - if all goes to plan it looks like we could be transfer buddies I'm not counting my chickens yet though *fx*
@northbeach3 No POAS? Good woman!!!! Best of luck in keeping nice calm thoughts for the next 2 weeks

babydust2507

yay for the great saline sono result @ndz2018 and so sorry you have to wait a lil more, I hate that wait but like you said it will be here before you know it! 
@blackhottamales thanks for sharing your experience on that!

ndz2018

@kristimh80 LOL I’d love for you to come out here and yell at them! That would make my day! AND yup! I actually Plan on stopping BCP a day or two prior to the appointment so I’ll get AF the day of the app or the day before but YES  right after that appointment I will going right into the our FET. My guess is my FET will be 11/13 which is actually an important date to me .. it was an extremely important woman’s birthday who made such an impact on the person I am Today and passed away a few years ago, she was a better grandmother to me than my own and miss her dearly. I couldnt Think of a better day to have it on, i’m Really hoping that it’s that day . By my calculations it’s should be.

@roisis Like I said 2 weeks is nothing to me right now. especially that I’ll be moving and selling our shore house these next few weeks so I can Still do some heavy lifting if need be. It could be a blessing In disguise. 

babydust2507

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MamaK225

@northbeach3 - I'm currently 4dp5dt (it was the first). Beta will be Wed the 10th, trying to hold out until then. Everything I've read says that 5dp5dt is about the earliest you'll see anything. Hubs is absolutely against testing, but he also doesn't have to sit with this knowledge and feelings all day long  

@ndz2018 - that is such a wonderful way to think about it and keep busy with things until then. **TW loss - after each of my 5 failures in the last year, I tried my hardest to think of the good things "well at least I can take a hot bath if I get stress" or "I can have a glass of wine - or two - with dinner if it's been a long day;" it definitely helped TW end**

Congrats @stars2016 on being PUPO! I might have missed it, but when is your beta?

@blackhottamales - I feel the same way, most people know I'm going through this journey, but I'm only letting a handful know when we do actual transfers and have tests. That way, they aren't asking questions when they might be hurtful. They know No Answer is bad news.

AFM - trying to stay busy and stop symptom spotting, but that's nearly impossible. Thankful I decided to lose my mind and spend tons of money at the craft store so I'll be distracting myself with making about 6-7 wreaths this weekend for Halloween and Thanksgiving. Better than POAS, I guess lol.

annielmartinez

@roisis  Congrats on the red wedding!

@ndz2018 Yay for good sono results but damn that you have to wait...again! Hopefully, the 2 weeks will seem like a walk in the park in comparison to everything else you’ve been waiting for. 

@blackhottamales We started off not telling anyone about the struggle but after a certain point I was sick of everyone asking, “why don’t you have kids yet?!” and then I started blabbing to everyone. It’s actually helped to be so open because I find that people are much more respectful now that they know we are going through IVF. 

I don’t know how I will get over the post-transfer waiting time, I couldn’t even wait until this Sunday to see what my lining was up to. The bad (awesome) thing about being an OB is the access to ultrasound. I did a transvaginal on myself today and lining looks good at 7cm on CD 8! ☺️

babydust2507

that's is awesome @annielmartinez! I will love to be able to do that to myself to! hahaha I guess lucky you! glad to hear that your lining is on point too! 

MamaK225

@annielmartinez - I can only imagine! I'd be on ALL the machines and be best friends with the phlebotomists!! Your playlist has been really calming during my TWW, so maybe you can just play that over your office's system?  

agaun

@blackhottamales
Totally agree. For me it helps. Yes in that moment I have bad news and it sucks to have to explain but it also helps.
If people ask when is baby number 2 coming I always reply with "when IVF works" and some ask questions others are shocked. I really feel it helps people get better understanding that not everyone just has a baby 'normally' 

MamaK225

@dan-g - That is nearly identical to what I tell people if/when they ask (especially if they don't know)! Most people get really interested/excited about it - lots of questions about what that means - and are really respectful with questions in the future or just give little FX signals when I see them. I think it's more "mainstream" now and people appreciate you keeping them from (unknowingly) putting their foot in their mouths.

annielmartinez

@MamaK225 So glad the playlist has been helping! I don’t know how you feel about meditation but I found a really great app download called mindful IVF, there are free parts but I downloaded the paid version for like $6 and ive really enjoyed it! I used it while stiming and right before retrieval and I’ve been listening to the anxiety buster while waiting for FET. They also have sessions for the 2WW that I plan to do. Might be worth checking out! 😊

suzycupcake

@roisis Yes to the blood! Excited you can finally get started. Will you please tell your ute to call my ute and move her along? 

@ndz2018 Sorry girl, that stinks. I know you're handling it well, but hugs anyway.

Oh and 

purplg8r

@roisis yay for AF!

@ndz2018 yay for a great sono!  But I don’t get the whole social work thing.