The Great Migration -- When and Where

PensiveCrayon

Hi guys. So, I know it's a bit early, but I'm ready to take this relationship to the next level! I'm feeling like we've got a good group of ladies (and man) on this board, and we've stopped getting new regs, for the most part. As we approach the 3rd trimester of our pregnancies, I thought it would be a good time to get the conversation about when to make The Switch and where exactly we go. (FB is standard, but that doesn't mean there aren't other options out there!)

The poll is for the when; if anyone has thoughts on the where (or any other helpful thoughts), please feel free to discuss them in the comments.

PensiveCrayon

My biggest thought is that I'd like to make the move before baby time -- the when of it doesn't really matter. I say this because, as awful and pessimistic as this sounds, there will most likely be a few NICU babies whose moms need some D18 love, and if we can get on a platform where Mom feels comfortable telling us where she is so she can receive cards and packages beforehand it would be ideal.

Jens_Hoes

I say Right at the end 2-4 weeks before babies are born. 
What we did in my last bmb was we voted for 5 admins and then they decided on the stragglers and whether or not they were active enough to be allowed in. 

hkom

I agree with @PensiveCrayon as one of those potential (let's be honest - probable) NICU moms.  I would feel much more comfortable giving details in a more private space.  I pretty much trust that all of our regulars are real people, so doing it soon doesn't bother me at all!  We can stay active on here as well and pick up any stragglers if need be.

As far as the platform, don't have much of a preference.  I'm on Facebook, but I'm open to picking up something else, although I have no idea what that would be.

westcoastfoodie

I don't know if my vote counts since I took a bit of a leave of absence so I don't know if I'd be voted on the island, but my last BMB migrated about a month before.

texas_t

I voted 1-2 months, but I'm down for whenever. Shit hit the fan early in my last bmb and we migrated super early.

maureenmce

With my DD's BMB we switched after all the babies were born I think, but since we'll be dealing with holiday busy times and newborn craziness, plus the fact we have some potential NICU moms, I'm for switching earlier, like early or mid November? I'm fine with whatever the majority wants, but as an early Dec due date person, I feel like things are going to be crazy from Thanksgiving week on, and I'd love to get our transition finished before then, ideally. 

morgantu

I agree with before the holidays. Early Nov sounds good but as a ftm I don't really have anything to base that on. 

PensiveCrayon

I agree that early Nov sounds like a good time.

mag1cbeli3ver

I like the early November time frame. Definitely before the babies are here and the holidays, bc things are gonna get real crazy, real quick! I'm good with Facebook, but like others mentioned, I'd be okay using something else (just tell me where to go!)! @westcoastfoodie of course you count!

maureenmce

Yes, @westcoastfoodie we know you - don't worry!

Katzalia

I kind of hate facebook but I’m on it occasionally. My last BMB didn’t migrate elsewhere until later 6+ momths post baby. When we migrated, it wasn’t to facebook, I hated the other app, and kind off fell off. @Activebaby I don’t know if you had a different experience?

Bottom line, I don’t love facebook but maybe it’s the best option? I don’t really have opinions on timing. 

runrinserepeat

I voted now. We honestly can’t move off this awful platform too soon, as far as I’m concerned. We’ve got regs, I doubt we’ll get any/many more, and it’s just easier to get to know people when you can actually get to know them. 

hannelorre

I'm pretty new so I'd leave it all to the regulars regarding timing. I do use facebook and I swear I'm a real and drama free person. 

katy0990

I think we should wait a little while in case anyone else wants to join in. I hate to abandon this board, in case others want to join in the community. That being said, if this app keeps glitching, I say we move sooner.

Activebaby

As a FTM it took call outs to welcome the lurkers for me to finally join (so I voted later). I just didn’t know the etiquette and flow. I joined just around the time ds was born. Then we migrated when there was a disaster here when all the mods were getting blocked (probably some were inappropriate but the ones I knew were completely fine). Since I’ve moved to a new place with my original BMB, I’m pretty go with the flow about when/where. But for me I needed that “welcome” to participate. I’m so glad I did. For my 2nd bmb- they were nice but I never felt a part of the group. They went to fb, but I had quit the group by then. I’ll go where this group goes. I just hope it’s easy and not complicated to use the platform. 

Erinka

I went off of Facebook a year ago and I’m very happy with this decision. I realize others are still on it and that’s fine. I would like to explore other platforms especially with all the privacy problems, election/corruption, investigations going on with FB. 

hkom

If it ends up split between 1-2 months before and 2-3 months before, 2 months before December is a good compromise.  That's only a month away (yikes!!), so not too much more time trudging through using TB.

rosebud332

I just can’t believe we’re far enough along that we’re able to seriously talk about this! Woohoo! I voted 1-2 months but I feel comfortable with our group and I’m down for whatever.

ebk20

I'm with @Erinka and would prefer we didn't use fb. I haven't had it for years and would rather not use it if there are other platforms out there.

tumbleweed-1

What are the options aside from fb? Other websites? Phone apps? Am I the only one who is feeling apprehensive about sharing my secret identity? I don’t plan to post that many pics of my child anyway, so idk how much fun I’ll be on fb versus here. Unless you all want to see my face and more photos of my cat   

katy0990

I have FB and I’m fine with using that, but I’m curious what other options are out there. We don’t post kiddo photos on FB, so I’m a bit apprehensive about that.

maureenmce

Alternate platform idea - does anyone like/use slack? My friends and I have a small slack message board and I've used it in some offices too. It's pretty user friendly and you can create as many channels (threads) as you want to chat, like we could do baby feeding questions/support or middle of the night talk, or we could just do all of the chatting in one general thread - it's a pretty flexible platform. Oh and gifs/sharing images and adding reactions to comments is all available and easy! 

I'm fine with Facebook too, just throwing that out there since a couple people don't have Facebook or don't like the company (I don't like them either but I need to maintain an account for work reasons, so I'm stuck there forever haha.)

Anyway, if anyone's curious or interested, I can ask my friend who set our slack message board up how she did it!

rosebud332

I don’t post that many photos to Facebook either. I think it’s just easier to talk more openly when I know the whole wide world can’t see it. I feel weird about that and it makes me hold back sometimes.

Jens_Hoes

I post zero pictures of DD on Facebook and actually don’t post really at all. 
My bmb has a private group of 50 people and I post videos and stuff there. No one can access it but us- so I feel safe in doing so. You can share what you want, but we will all see one another’s faces or whatever profile picture you have on Facebook. You can keep things as locked down as you’d like. 

PensiveCrayon

@maureenmce Slack is actually one alternate option I was going to suggest. I LOVE Slack -- when I worked for Uproxx we used it. Is there a post space like on FB, though, or is it primarily a group message-style platform? That can get a bit overwhelming for people to keep up with. #fomo and all. I also wasn't sure if it's free or not.

I don't mind throwing photos of my kid on a very private, locked-down FB group (like what @Jens_Hoes is saying -- that's where D16 is too), but I don't know how secure it is IRL. It just feels safe to me  

snugglyduckling25

I have FB and definitely like how easy it is to post and reply to things, it’s where my M12 group still is (although I’m not really active in it anymore). However, I’m definitely open to other options if they are easier than this! 

hkom

PensiveCrayon said:

I don't mind throwing photos of my kid on a very private, locked-down FB group (like what @Jens_Hoes is saying -- that's where D16 is too), but I don't know how secure it is IRL. It just feels safe to me  

Right. It would definitely need to be a private, secure Facebook group. I post very little on my actual page, but don't really have an issue with posts in a more private space. 

I've never heard of Slack but if it's free and easy to use I'm cool with that. 

CecilB93

I'm all for Facebook. My March 16 BMB also has a totally secret group that other people can't even search for. As far as when I'm okay with whenever at this point. I think with my other BMB we moved to FB right around this time and it went well. I do agree before babies are born would be best.

I don't know other platform options, never heard of Slack either. I guess I wouldn't be opposed to looking at other options. For the record, I didn't post photos on my personal FB page of DS until after he was a year, and even still I rarely post to my wall at all, I mostly get on for my BMB and sewing groups lol. 

scaredunprepared

I think early Nov is a good time frame. I am on Facebook and somewhat active and would be down to migrate there, but am open to slack or other free and easy to use platforms.  So basically +1 to what everyone else already said!

zoepac

Frequent lurker but always on mobile so I don't post much (but makes Facebook an awesome choice). I would say soonish- like end of October/beginning of November. My older son has specials needs and was an ex NICU baby and this one will likely be as well. (Anyone else out there? I saw @hkom mention NICU above. Let me know if you have questions!) if this baby comes at the same time my older son did he will be born on Halloween (33 weeks). I'm part of a few private groups on Facebook for my sons needs and they are super helpful.

Jens_Hoes

I do also think we need to discuss who gets an invite. 
Because we are opening ourselves up more with access to one another’s Facebook name and pic, I don’t really feel comfortable allowing anyone who has posted in. 
So im open to figuring out how we will figure it out, but I definitely don’t think that just because someone posts today, or when we make the jump, that they should be invited 

coybig

Both FB groups I've been in from here started at roughly 70 but seemed to quickly thin down to 50 or so.  One moved earlier than the other, but both still managed to sort themselves out in roughly the same manner.
Maybe it's just me, but already this group feels smaller than either of the first two.

orangecrush29

I’ve been in and out of here, but it’s only because I really hate how this app works on my phone and I’m never on my laptop these days! I love my Facebook group of my last BMB and it’s so much easier to connect and talk on there, IMO, so I voted now! If we decide to wait, I’ll suck it up and try to post here, it’s just staggered responses because this app drives me batty, so please forgive and accept me! 

barristerninja

I didn’t realize there would be a migration! My vote is for a private FB group... 

clbness

I voted 1-2 months before, but TB has been driving me batty lately, so I’d be ok with migrating before that too. I really only use FB, but I’d be open to trying another platform!

katy0990

Like I said before, I’m fine with whenever. I’m just wondering, would anyone still check in here? With my previous BMB, I was pretty active during first tri and then fell off for a bit due to some pregnancy complications and when I came back in third tri, everyone was gone. I would hate to just completely desert this board like that, this early on. 

CecilB93

@katy0990 I'll be honest, I'd probably still check this board in the beginning at least, but eventually would check in less. I know I still posted a birth announcement in March 16, so I at least checked in until babies were born. After babies are born I'd definitely stop checking in here if we've moved somewhere else. 

Jens_Hoes

@katy0990 I had the last baby born in my bmb and we moved before most people had their babies. While there was definitely some participation, it had decreased after we made the jump. 
I think we should all still participate in both places until all babies are born because some people don’t have Facebook and they deserve the support through labor/delivery what have you. 
I tried to stay active both places but I think I stopped when DD was 1 month old. 

hkom

Jens_Hoes said:

I do also think we need to discuss who gets an invite. 
Because we are opening ourselves up more with access to one another’s Facebook name and pic, I don’t really feel comfortable allowing anyone who has posted in. 
So im open to figuring out how we will figure it out, but I definitely don’t think that just because someone posts today, or when we make the jump, that they should be invited 

I hardcore agree with this.  There seems to be several tiers of people here.

Those of us who post regularly.  Even if you have had to take breaks like @orangecrush29 and @westcoastfoodie, or are new like @hannelorre, I would still include you as a "regular"
Those semi-regularly participate, but maybe in only a few particular threads.  There are a handful of these that I've noticed. 
Ans those who have posted maybe a handful of times, tend to only post about themselves, and/or strict lurkers. 

I think we really need to hash out what to do with that middle group. I'm new to The Bump, so I don't know what the typical protocol is for those in the middle. I don't want to exclude anyone who wants to take the next step, but give and take balance is important this little community and there are some people who don't do a whole lot of giving.  I know that I personally don't feel all that comfortable sharing any more details with people that I don't feel like I "know" here. 

And maybe we need to call out any lurkers somehow and encourage them to start participating more? 

blueberry2mommy25

Love that reasoning to be able to form for support of those moms