Tips for Toddler and Newborn — The Bump
October 2018 Moms

Tips for Toddler and Newborn

meltonjlmeltonjl member
edited August 2018 in October 2018 Moms
I am not sure whether there is a thread about this already but I would love to get a discussion going about juggling a newborn and toddler. Sorry in advance if I overlooked it.  

STM here and I’m already starting to try to figure out how to handle both. Something I have been thinking about a lot is dealing with the toddler getting the baby sick since we will have a newborn in October. Another thing I have been thinking about is introducing the toddler to the baby. DS is almost 28 months will be ~29 months when baby comes. 

Re: Tips for Toddler and Newborn

  • DS will be 2 when this lo is born and I have some of the same concerns. We got him a baby doll to play with and to "take care of". So far he loves it so we'll see haha.

    There's also some suggestions in the birth class advice thread, I'll try and tag you! 
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  • Thanks @nmadjeski! Are you expecting a boy or girl? I’m having another boy so I hope they are BFF but I’ve seen other relatives in the same situation as us deal with some pretty aggressive behavior once the baby comes (also two boys). The baby doll is a good idea. I’ve seen DS play with his cousin’s doll and he likes it one minute and the next he’s slamming it around haha. 
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  • My boy will be 3 when baby girl comes in October. I'm nervous, my toddler boy is anything but soft and gentle. He's all rough and tumble and so high energy. This is going to be a struggle, I have anxiety about the fact that he could accidentally hurt her. I'm glad this thread was started, I would love to hear advice from moms who already experienced this.
  • It's definitely a huge adjustment. I breastfed my second and I really think it saved her. Literally the entire rest of the family got the flu and she didn't. But after she wasn't teeny, she definitely got sick more often. It is what it is. Does your DS go to any sort of preschool or classes? The key to surviving this is keeping DS busy! 
    DS  12-1-2014
    DD 10-29-2016
    #3 due 10-13-2018
  • You're welcome! @meltonjl I'm expecting a girl. I'm the oldest of four and adored my brother when he came along (i was 4 though by that time). I'm hoping for the same with mine haha

    My son is very high energy so that worries me. He isnt in daycare yet either. My SO is going to be going back to work soon so preschool will be in the near ish future so I'm hoping that helps because he needs to stay busy for sure!
  • @hellopartyof5 yes DS is in “school” full time. We are going to put the baby in the same place after I go back to work, but DS stayed home until he was 14 months so he never got sick until he started. 
  • @jwebbbber45678 I am having the same anxiety!
  • Baby is due a week before Z’s second birthday. I am terrified. Z is so high energy, some days I can’t handle just him. I don’t know how I’ll deal with two. 

    E will be 18 on July 24th
    Z was born October 16, 2016
    #3 Due October 9, 2018

    MC - November 29, 2012
    CP - November 15, 2014
    D&C for MMC - October 13, 2015

  • Thanks for the advice to tlmill, very helpful!
  • @tlmill thank you so much! So helpful!
  • Yes please give more advice. I wanna know how im gonna deal with a 12 month old and a newborn. I might induce the day of his first bday so they have the same bday but I dont know yet since ill be 39.6 weeks on his birthday and my SO thinks its a bad idea to share a birthday since they should have their own day. I dont know yet. My son still isnt sleeping through the night, not even close to walking and having problems taking anything but purees so were still learning. I'm so worried about giving equal attention since DS1 wont understand. We are all in this together ladies.
  • ^^^ is that the reason you would induce or are there other factors? Sorry I can’t recall!
  • @momoflogan20 I would avoid same bdays if at all possible my cousins daughter has the same bday as her uncle(my cousin) and she HATES it. 

    Another STM here with similar anxieties. I’m glad DS will go to daycare so I can bond with the baby alone a bit though.
  • I'm loving the stories of how this works out. I'm not so concerned with introducing them, but with life, as others have mentioned.
    DS will be 21m when this one comes. And he is crazy energetic! I'm a little nervous about getting able to keep up with two. And how do naps work and such? I'm nervous about the separate schedules.... and being not a zombie. 
    Married: 01/2010
    Mirena out late 8/2015, NTNP through holidays, TTC 1/16
    BFP: 5/16 - Baby boy:1/17 He's amazing!!!
    TFAS 9/17
    BFP: 2/18 - Baby girl: 9/18 She's fabulous!!!

  • DS1 is 6 and DS2 just turned 1. DS1 will be in school most of the day and he handled the transition with DS2 extremely well. He loved being a big brother and really excited about the arrival of the new LO. I'm worried about DS2 because he will only be 14 months is October. I'm going back and forth about whether to leave DS2 in daycare full time or just let him go part time while I'm on maternity leave. DS2 is a stage 5 clinger so I'm not sure how he's going to feel about seeing me with another baby. I think the most important thing will be that I set aside alone time for both DS1 and DS2.
    DS1: 8/2012 <3 DS2  8/2017 <3 DS3 10/2018 

  • Re: daycare. Ours cost the same whether we three times a week or full time, so I am just going to keep him in full time. To the same point that @mommy2ane made, I am also trying to keep the routine, but I also have concerns about DS not being able to get used to the thought of the baby if he's always in school.

    I really like alot of these ideas and I am super glad I started this discussion because I thought I was the only one scared out of my mind about this!  :)
  • You know what's weird, it never occurred to me to pull Evelyn out of daycare when I'm on leave! Maybe I should? Most of my leave is paid, but not all of it, so maybe it would help, but might be more trouble than it's worth.
  • I’m loving this thread! Going from 1 to 3 has terrified me, but I think DD will handle the transition fairly well. She will be 2 only 2 weeks before the twins are born, but she’s in the loving to help stage where we can really involve her in the twins care. I hope that helps things go smoothly.
  • Has anyone done a big brother/sister basket of goodies for their toddler? I’ve seen some ideas online for it and just wondered if it actually helps. 
  • Not sure where to put this, but are sit and stand strollers worth it?
  • @HoosOnFirst I am dying to know this too! Thanks for posting. I can’t see my DS standing but I am considering getting one. 
  • I've heard they're kind of a beast to steer,  but I haven't tried one myself. 
    DS  12-1-2014
    DD 10-29-2016
    #3 due 10-13-2018
  • I used a sit and stand with my 3 year old niece and 1.5 year old son. It was really big and heavy and not easy to push. It wasn't easy to collapse and throw in a car either. I'm going to sell it in Craigslist and try and find something more light weight for my newbornand 3 year old. I'm looking at a Joovy caboose too ultralight, it fits most car seat brands and has a seat for toddler. It reviews very well and looks like it folds down pretty well. 
  • I borrowed a friend’s sit & stand and I wasn’t a fan. I will say though, most double strollers are pretty cumbersome, awkward, and heavy. We have a Phil & Teds double stroller (like the one in the picture) and while it maneuvers a lot more easily and is more smooth, it’s still pretty large and doesn’t fold down very small at all. We found it much easier to babywear and use a single stroller. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • Thanks! My toddler has NEVER been a stroller kid to DH doesn't think its worth us buying one. I don't yet know how one parent will ever travel with two kids at once, but we'll save the money and come back to the idea later!
  • A wasn’t much of a stroller kid by the time E was born. They’re 2 years 9 months apart and I’d just wear her with him in the stroller or let him walk while she was  in the stroller. I did Disneyland solo like this with both kids many times and it’s worked out beautifully. And saved us lots of money. Except now that we’re going to have two under two as well as a 4 year old, we’re going to get a double. I’m sure I can make it work but it seems like it’ll be a little easier with a double. 
  • @jwebbbber45678 I’m looking at the Joovy too. I read the reviews and they look good, but I don’t know anyone who has one. Do you?
  • I don't know anyone who had one personally
  • Re: Sit and Stand strollers. We have a Britax B-Ready, and it converted to an in-line double which was great when they were both younger. DS was fine with it until he was about 3 and DD was about 1 (when they could argue over who sat where). I wore DD a lot and didn't use the second seat all that often, but recently bought a stroller board to attach to the back of it. DS (almost 4.5) loves that stupid board, and thinks it's the best thing ever. We generally only use it for longer trips (Cedar Point has been the main usage this summer) but it's great. It doesn't really add any bulk (you do have to stand a little further back when pushing, but not much) and it's a fast on/off for DS.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Been away on vacation this past week so trying to catch up on things... this thread is great. I had a “moment” last night where I got all sad thinking about how we’re turning DS’s world upside down with the new baby, and how I don’t want him to feel less loved or special. I know he’ll be fine, and he’ll love having a little brother, but I don’t want him to lose the special bond that we have.
  • @pumpkinpancake I have been feeling the same too.  Overridden with guilt about it.  We followed Moms on Call (it may be more locally known to my city, but maybe not) with DS pretty closely and there is a book in the series about having a baby and toddler.  It basically says that the world does not revolve around your toddler, but revolves around your family.  When I read that, it sounded a little harsh.  However, the more I thought about it, I liked it because it is true.  Eventually this newborn will be a toddler too and is part of this family.  Being the second child has also made me consider how to make sure the new baby feels just as special as DS.  Sometimes I can't even imagine what it would be like to love anything more than DS, but I have a feeling I am about to learn!

  • @mommy2ane your reply made me cry (in a good way) at how sweet that moment was between your two kids. I love the idea that we’re giving DS someone to love and play with for his whole life, I just want to make the transition for him as easy as possible, you know? 
  • Since we're moving right around my due date and need to change DD's daycare we decided to save some money and pull her when I go on maternity leave until our leave time is over (so between DH and I a total of 4 months).  I'm panicking about having the baby and her at the same time full time.  Stay at home moms tell me everything will be okay and we will all survive!  Any tips or tricks for survival appreciated!   
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