Tips for Toddler and Newborn - Page 2 — The Bump
October 2018 Moms

Tips for Toddler and Newborn

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Re: Tips for Toddler and Newborn

  • @krob I'm considering only sending DS2 to daycare 3 days a week and keeping him home with me for 2 days. I'm scared to have a 14 month old and newborn at home! Everyone keeps telling me it's not work it, just continue to send DS2 to daycare for my own sanity. I need to hurry up and make my decision so I can let his daycare know!
    DS1: 8/2012 <3 DS2  8/2017 <3 DS3 10/2018 


    KFrob
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  • @britvahok I think what scares me the most is inadvertently creating a toddler monster by pulling the structure and letting her do whatever she wants since I'm busy dealing with the baby.  I guess it's better to expect the worst and then maybe it won't be as exhausting as I think haha.
    britvahok
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  • KFrob said:
    Since we're moving right around my due date and need to change DD's daycare we decided to save some money and pull her when I go on maternity leave until our leave time is over (so between DH and I a total of 4 months).  I'm panicking about having the baby and her at the same time full time.  Stay at home moms tell me everything will be okay and we will all survive!  Any tips or tricks for survival appreciated!   
    I had a 15 month old and a newborn.  Decided to keep the 15 month old at home during my mat leave.  Make a basket of small toys/treats to keep the toddler busy especially when you're feeding the baby.  Also, there was a lot of tv time going on just to keep background noise and hours of Pandora (kids and adult).  My kid was young enough to not care about the baby blob in the house, he just wanted to be kept busy.  We'd go out on the porch and play with a water table for hours too, or walk to the neighborhood park....not sure that'll work in winter.

    Also get them to help, can you bring me a diaper? Can you grab a blanket?   Just small things to include them in baby care.
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  • @pumpkinpancake I felt the same guilt after DS1.  DS1 was totally not planned, loved but not planned. I felt I was taking away DS1's babyhood too early.  To make matters worse DS1 was the easiest baby, highly independent but DS2 came along and needed me around the clock.  I felt so bad but once I saw them playing together - best gift ever!!  Prior to DS2, DS1 didn't have any siblings or cousins.  Totally happy now that they are close in age.

    I still have guilt with DS3 coming.  I know I'll love him just as much, I'll know his brothers will take him into their play shenanigans in no time.  I'm worried about the physical aspect of a 3rd child.  Now I have to put one kid in the 3rd row - I'm throwing DS1 in the back...that's so far (in my mommy head/heart).  I was walking into a store last week holding each of my boys in each hand.  How will I manage 3 kids, I only have 2 hands to hold with.  Definitely trying to baby wear more with this one so I can have my hands free, but eventually he'll walk and I'll have to let go of one of the others.  I'm sure by then the others will want to walk on their own lol - logic vs emotion is hard in this mom life!
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  • @kfrob and @britvahok Do you do schedules?  If so, I know there are some good ones out there for juggling baby and toddler.  I have looked and just plan to use them on the weekend, but maybe you all can use them daily?
    KFrobbritvahok
  • norahkatenorahkate member
    edited August 2018
    @HoosonFirst @meltonjl A little late to the game with my answer, but we had a sit and stand and loved it and used it way more than we thought we would. I will find what it was, but it really was very similar to a single stroller other than the small platform in back. We preferred it to even our favorite double stroller for that reason, and probably more so because the older ones always wanted to be in and out, which is a big hassle with a double stroller whereas with this they could just hop on and off at any time. Our first two were just about 3 and 5 when our third was born and they would each jump on here and there. 
    (My guess though, although that was the first time we had one, is that it would not work as well if they are less than two years apart).

    ETA: we did not use this for just everyday walks, but were not looking for that because the older ones were old enough to not need a stroller then. it was great for trips and for walking them to school, etc. when inevitably someone would be "too tired to walk!"  ;)
    meltonjl
  • @KFrob I set up this mini circuit of toys for DS2 to play with yesterday while I was making dinner. I was actually really surprised that he went from one toy to next. I'm hoping that something like that will work. My main concern is him attempting to climb and jump off of something while I'm breastfeeding a newborn. He's down to 1 nap now but it's usually for at least 2 hours. 
    DS1: 8/2012 <3 DS2  8/2017 <3 DS3 10/2018 


  • @tropical1982 , I totally feel where you're coming from with this.  I've been thinking the same thing about my boys too.  I totally plan to baby wear DS3 as much as possible, but when he gets old enough to walk i will just have DS1 be my "big helper" and "watch" his little brothers by being the last chain in our hand-holding line.  I'll hold the hands of the little ones and he'll be on the end since he's older and more responsible. 

    btw, i'm totally jealous of your third row.....we're trying to squeeze everyone  in our backseats, lol.  my anxiety with this is that DS3 will be in between the two older boys and i worry about DS2 trying to give the baby toys or food that isn't safe.  I've already started outlawing food and toys in my car for this reason.  I need to get my 3rd  babycam set up on my gps so I can keep a close eye on all of them!
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  • dellusion said:
    btw, i'm totally jealous of your third row.....we're trying to squeeze everyone  in our backseats, lol.  my anxiety with this is that DS3 will be in between the two older boys and i worry about DS2 trying to give the baby toys or food that isn't safe.  I've already started outlawing food and toys in my car for this reason.  I need to get my 3rd  babycam set up on my gps so I can keep a close eye on all of them!
    DH wants to squeeze all three in the second row (4Runner), I just want a new car (Sequoia with captains chairs) or a bus! If we do this, DS1 will be in the middle, DS2 passenger side, and DS3 on driver side.  First we need to try out if the car seats even fit.  This would allow me to keep all the trunk space but ugggghhh. Our 4runner has the 3rd row but no way to get there unless he jumps over the seat every time and we're left with less than a foot of trunk space....ummm stroller?

    We did a sibling class this past weekend and it was so cute.  "Do we feed the baby pizza? All the kids in unison....noooo!!!  What does the baby eat - only milk!!!!"
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  • @tropical1982 you can hold all 3’s hands! Have DS1 walk on your left & hold your left hand, DS2 walks in front of you and also holds your left hand (you’ll have to hold it out in front of you or kind of out to the side so there’s room) and then DS3 gets your right hand (assuming you’ll need the best grip on him).  I used to do the 2 hold 1 hand all the time with my twins because I needed the other hand free to hold my coffee.
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    mamabearcjmissmaehurttropical1982norahkate
  • @tropical1982 @purplegoldfish2 I did the two kids/one hand trick with my twins too! :lol:
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  • Did anyone get their older kids a gift "from" their new baby sibling? If so, what do I get my 3 year old girl?
    meltonjl
  • @HoosOnFirst I am thinking about doing a basket for my 2 year old DS but I can’t think of anything good or age appropriate. So far I found a book about brothers. I think girls are actually easier! Maybe you could get her something that says big sister or something that makes her excited to help!
    HoosOnFirst
  • meltonjl said:
    @HoosOnFirst I am thinking about doing a basket for my 2 year old DS but I can’t think of anything good or age appropriate. So far I found a book about brothers. I think girls are actually easier! Maybe you could get her something that says big sister or something that makes her excited to help!
    We got her a big sister t shirt (and a book about babh brothers) when we announced the baby but she is really excited about having a sibling so something else like that would be great! Maybe a new shirt or crown or something. She is pretty easy.
    meltonjl
  • edited August 2018
    @KFrob we are moving right around my due date too! We are not changing daycares, but her "best friend" is quitting daycare right before the baby comes too. She seriously looks for him every day when she gets there (he's my best friends son so we see him ALL the time. they are 11 weeks apart so they've done everything together). I'm really worried about all the transitions for her. I know kids are resilient and she'll be fine in the long run- but I'm curious- are you doing anything to help prep your LO for all the changes? New sibling, new house, new school (or in my case her friend leaving?). IS there anything to do? I just want everything to go as smooth as possible for my LO. I might be overthinking it. lol
    KFrob
  • @wolfpackgrl718 I don't think you are overthinking it! I feel the same way and I don't even have as many changes going on as you.  I am debating not potty training yet because I don't want DS to have that huge change plus the baby.  There are a few other things, like I decided to just buy another crib because if I put DS in a bed that would be another change.  Your concerns about the changes seem pretty legit (more so than mine haha). 

    Re: daycare. My niece was in DS class at daycare and her mom just moved her out of the class. I kind of thought it would be the end of the world because similarly they are very close in age like your DD and best friend (3 weeks here).  However, I was surprised to see that he focused his attention on the other kids in class.  It was a relief.  If they see each other outside of school, it may be just fine!
    wolfpackgrl718
  • @wolfpackgrl718 We've started to talk to her about a lot about the new baby coming and what to expect.  We got her a book about becoming a big sister, we talk to her about how much attention the new baby will need and how she's a big girl and will help us.  Sort of the same thing with the move.  We keep talking to her about it and try to get her really excited.  Her new thing is randomly asking us if things are coming to the new house.  Like is her bed coming, her new spiderman doll, her stuffed animals etc.  The daycare thing we haven't brought up yet.  I was talking to DH about it last night and I started to cry.  She goes to a home daycare and she's been the only kid there for the last year.  Her daycare provider has become sort of another grandma.  It breaks my heart for both of them that we're not going to be bringing her anymore.      
  • @meltonjl and @KFrob Thanks ladies. I know I shouldnt be so stressed out about it, but I am. lol. We've been reading all the baby brother/big sister books and I think she's really excited about having a brother. She'll hug and kiss my belly, point to it when someone asks where her brother is, "shares" her paci with him (sticks it my belly button), so that's great. And my best friend (that has the friend in her class) also has a 5 month old and so LO has gotten used to a baby being around. She's a huge help with him- brings him blankets, his paci, wants to help feed him, lays on the ground during tummy time with him. I'm worried that she doesnt understand one is coming to live with us permanently soon tho. haha. and really i'm less worried about the baby by itself and more about the house and friend being gone all at the same time.

    We talk about her new room- but she's also not even 2 yet and really doesnt seem to understand that and she has no idea her friend is going to be gone. We've started asking her if she's excited to see someone else in the class and name her other friends. So hopefully if we do that enough, it will help. We'll still see her friend on the weekends, but she literally talks about him all day and night. My heart is just sad for her. Damn hormones. 
    KFrobmeltonjl
  • DD is 2 and a half, and I think she understands more than we give her credit for.  I keep trying to tell myself like you said that kids are resilient!  
    meltonjlnmadjeski
  • @KFrob and @wolfpackgrl718 DS is almost 2.5 and he does the same--kisses belly, talks about his brother, etc. but I still think he hasn't quite grasped there's a baby coming to live with us!
    wolfpackgrl718KFrob
  • We were lucky to time our move in August, wanted it done before they started the school year so they'll adjust to new apt, new schedule, etc. Hopefully it'll be calm during September so we can transition to new baby in October.  I have not read any sibling books to them yet, but I think now is a good time - any recommendations?
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  • I wasn’t going to move my toddler into a bed before the baby came, but today he crawled out of the crib and banged his head pretty good. Tried to put him in two more times and he crawled out. Tried the pack n play. Crawled out. Couldn’t be a better time for him to start this!
    KFrobnmadjeskinorahkate
  • Update on crawling out of the crib: we turned it upside down.  It has worked so far.

    I also put together a basket for DS--Gigi got a bin from the Dollar Tree and I put a coloring book, Mr. Potato head, 3 books (one about being Brothers), and toy dinosaurs in it.  I had a shirt made for him when we told my parents so I probably won't buy anything for him to wear.  I may add fruit snacks (his favorite and I don't let him have them much)
  • We still haven't gotten anything from the baby for DD.  I'm not sure which way to go with it.  She has a ton of toys already!  
  • @KFrob I think DS has enough toys too so the ones I tried to get were ones he would stay very preoccupied playing with, but I don't know if it is going to work! I couldn't get creative!
    KFrob
  • @KFrob same here. DS has just so much stuff as it is, and I don’t think he’d “get” the idea that it’s from the new baby. I’m hoping the fact that DH and my in-laws will be here to bend to his every whim will be good enough for awhile. 







    KFrobnorahkate
  • DH suggested we get a random jacket that DD picked out on her own at Old Navy.  Then it's kinda taking care of a need and something that she wants and making that from the baby.  Just seems so boring.  I know Grandma is going to take her shopping to pick out a lovey/stuff animal for the baby which she's so excited about and its super cute.  I'm sure I'm way over thinking this since I have this desire for it to be something special.  But she's almost 3 and would be happy with a My Little Pony Mashem...    
    meltonjlnorahkate
  • We caved and are doing gift bags for DD and DS. 

    I’m making shirts for them to wear to the hospital (and LO will have a matching romper), and for each of them I picked up a coloring book (Vampirina for DD, Jurassic Park for DS) and crayons, cute water bottle, and some snacks. I’ll also grab a jigsaw puzzle for DD and something dinosaur-related for DS. It’s more to keep them entertained because otherwise they’ll ask my ILs “has Mommy had the baby yet?” over and over and over again. 
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    meltonjlnorahkate
  • @tlmill thank you for making me feel justified! HAHA!  That sounds great.  What type of shirt are you making?
  • @tlmill I love the shirts! I was just telling DH this weekend I need to order t-shirts for our boys.
    DS1: 8/2012 <3 DS2  8/2017 <3 DS3 10/2018 


    tlmill
  • Toddler is all the sudden having a complete melt down when we put him down for a nap. Such impeccable timing. 
    KFrobacdc1109britvahok
  • My kiddo is suddenly not doing well with naps either. He's getting in trouble at daycare because he's being disruptive during nap time. Now I'm afraid he'll get kicked out of his school because he's also been pushing and biting. I was looking forward to having 6 hours a day with just me and baby. Of course having a toddler in a newborn couldn't be easy! How do so many people do it!
    britvahokmeltonjl
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