January 2019 Moms
Options

I wish I had known that!

STM's+ help us FTMs out :#

Tell us what you wish you would have known. 
«1345

Re: I wish I had known that!

  • Loading the player...
  • Options
    @MrsHudson2014 SAME! I spent so much time googling and messaging my bump group of friends with older babies like ‘WTF the babies foot shakes back and forth when she’s falling asleep, is this normal?!’ I remember thinking so many of her weird movements were seizures too. She would jerk around while sleeping. I think one of the things I’m most excited for this time is knowing what’s ‘normal’. And also maybe not having as much time to obsess either way because I’ll be chasing a toddler.
    Me: 28 DH: 26
    Married: November 2015  3 
    TTC#1: January 2016
    BFP #1: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
    BFP #2: 10/06/16: 6 - EDD: 06/20/17
    DD Born 06/23/17 3
    TFAS: April 2018
    BFP #3: 03/21/18 - CP
    BFP #4: 04/23/18 - EDD 01/04/19


  • Options
    To second what @BitterBetty12 said about breastfeeding, I wish I had known I could ask for formula in the hospital even when the nurses are insisting the baby is getting enough. (She was literally on my boob every 30 min, dry cracking nipples IN the hospital, and baby crying a lot) a little bit of formula and she was content. It didn't cause nipple confusion or hinder nursing...it made it more effective.
  • Options
    And to continue on the breast feeding thing - if you’re nervous, don’t be afraid to ask the nurses to check babies blood sugar! DD ended up in the nicu for a day because her blood sugar was too low, and literally all she needed was formula because she wasn’t getting enough colostrum. It could have been avoided if I knew better. But once the baby goes in they have to stay for a day.
    Me: 28 DH: 26
    Married: November 2015  3 
    TTC#1: January 2016
    BFP #1: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
    BFP #2: 10/06/16: 6 - EDD: 06/20/17
    DD Born 06/23/17 3
    TFAS: April 2018
    BFP #3: 03/21/18 - CP
    BFP #4: 04/23/18 - EDD 01/04/19


  • Options
    I wish I would have known that literally anyone can have to have an emergency c section so even if you think it won’t happen to you (like me) IT CAN!! 

    I wish I would have known going up and down the stairs multiple times a day only a few days after a c section is a bad idea! (I wound up in so much pain I could barely move)

    I wish I would have known how immediately painful the contractions become when they have to break your water the rest of the way.  My nurse did not inform me and I went from mild discomfort to excruciating pain! 
  • Options
    I was not prepared whatsoever to breast feed. I had no clue the amount of discomfort and straight up pain is involved in the the beginning. I remember after my daughter was born and they were trying to show me what to do the first time I was just crying because I didn’t know it was going to hurt like that! It put me into a bit of a shock I think. 

    The second time time around I was still BF my first baby until 16 weeks along, I thought BF would be easy because my nipples would already be used to it and “broken in”. Nope. Wrong again. Hurt just as much as the first time! 

    Both times it went from hurting so much and me dreading every feeding, to not hurting at all and being totally fine in 2.5-3 weeks. So if you are struggling with pain or feeling like you are getting the hang of it (as assuming baby is getting enough and is doing well) just hang in there until 3 weeks! That was the magic number for me. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker

  • Options
    I wish I would have know that it would take a full 8 weeks to feel ‘normal’ after my c section. And by normal I mean not be in pain the next day if I ‘over did it’ by going shopping and vacuuming. My OB told me that by 6 weeks I would feel 75% and by 8 I would feel whatever my new normal was. And I found that pretty accurate. 
    Me: 28 DH: 26
    Married: November 2015  3 
    TTC#1: January 2016
    BFP #1: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
    BFP #2: 10/06/16: 6 - EDD: 06/20/17
    DD Born 06/23/17 3
    TFAS: April 2018
    BFP #3: 03/21/18 - CP
    BFP #4: 04/23/18 - EDD 01/04/19


  • Options
    I wish I would have known how much my WHOLE BODY would hurt after giving birth. I was prepared to be sore in my lady parts, but I seriously felt like I got run over. Every muscle in my body hurt. (I pushed for over an hour.) 
    I wish I would have known that Vicodin was not a good thing for me (I did not wake up when DD was crying two feet from me- DH had to shake me awake). 

    Im sure I’ll think of more. 
    <3 D 2014 
    DD- 11/2016
  • Options
    @BitterBetty12 Was your c section scheduled or emergency? My doctor told me a scheduled c section is a much easier recovery.  She said I had the worse recovery because I labored all day and then had to be rushed into surgery.  Just wanting to know what to expect for next time! 
  • Options
    Things I wish I had known-

    My first epidural with dd1 didn't really work and I could walk immediately after having her. My second epidural with dd2 I couldn't walk until the next day and I almost fell when the nurses tried to make me walk. I should have switched positions more when they were administering but it was middle of the night so my left leg got super numb. 

    BFing can be challenging and you'll question if you're doing it right and if their poop looks right. I would've got dd1's tongue tie clipped sooner. It was also night and day with her behavior when I cut dairy from my diet. I have also learned that with any signs of mastitis, do not be a hero, get on the antibiotics right away. 

    PPD and PPA hit me bad with my second one and I didn't really realize it until DH pointed it out and things got bad. He was going on underways and gone for weeks/months at a time starting when dd2 was 2 weeks old. I wish I had gotten help sooner and reached out more when I needed it. 

    Both my kids never took bottles. I tried introducing them sooner with dd2 but since DH was gone a lot, I wasn't that consistent. Luckily I took a year off with both but if you're going back to work sooner or at some point, introduce that bottle. 


    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Options
    BitterBetty12BitterBetty12 member
    edited August 2018
    @LCRbelle Mine was also emergency after I labored for 17 hours with basically constant back contractions and made next to no progress. I then got a botched epidural that was intrathecal and caused my entire body to go numb and start shaking, and my temperature to rise. I barely remember my c section because I was basically unconscious the whole time. The anesthesiologist had to give me narcan to bring me back when it was over. I also had post delivery complications (spinal headache from the botched epidural and postpartum preeclampsia). So basically that long unnecessary story is all to say that my c section was definitely not typical! My friends who had RCS said it was literally night and day from their emergency c sections and they would recommend it in a heartbeat.  
    Me: 28 DH: 26
    Married: November 2015  3 
    TTC#1: January 2016
    BFP #1: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
    BFP #2: 10/06/16: 6 - EDD: 06/20/17
    DD Born 06/23/17 3
    TFAS: April 2018
    BFP #3: 03/21/18 - CP
    BFP #4: 04/23/18 - EDD 01/04/19


  • Options
    I wish I had known that baby can be coughing up mucus hours after birth.  My baby was coughing up mucus in the recovery room and we didn't know what to do luckily a nurse was right there to help. 


  • Options
    @BitterBetty12 thank you! Good to know.  
    Our labors sound pretty similar.  Shaking uncontrollably, fever, and I barely remember the c section!  I didn’t have all of the PP complications othe than regular recovery though.  
  • Options
    @hollye30 I completely forgot about that! Happened with DD1 but not DD2. 

    These are all so good and all things I wish I had known as a FTM. 
  • Options
    I wish I had known about the extreme shaking after birth. I learned after the fact that it's normal, but I thought I was going into shock or lost too much blood or something weird. I did skin to skin for an hour after birth, then as soon as they lifted the baby off my chest the shaking started IMMEDIATELY and it was so bad I couldn't talk or drink. Apparently, it's due to adrenaline.

    I wish I knew some babies aspirate a lot when they drink and it's ok.

    I wish I knew I didn't need NEARLY as much clothes as I got. My newborn (born Feb 3) basically lived in footie pajamas. Newborn outfits never got worn, and we really didn't wear 'outfits' until 3-6m clothes, since most of the winter we stayed inside and away from flu season.
    Me: 30 |  DH: 33
    Married: 8/11/2007

    DD: Born 2/3/17
    BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
  • Options
    sweetyjenjsweetyjenj member
    edited August 2018
    I wish I knew that Carter's 3m clothes IS 0-3m! It thankfully didn't take me long to figure it out, but I got TONS of hand-me-downs and organized the sizes into bins. While she was in 0-3m clothes I was getting the next size ready. I pulled out the 3 month ones (which I thought meant 3-6 months) and realized the weight range was exactly the same. I'm glad i realized, because I then had a TON more clothes in each size.
    ETA: 6m size=3-6, 9m=6-9, etc.
    Me: 30 |  DH: 33
    Married: 8/11/2007

    DD: Born 2/3/17
    BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
  • Options
    I wish I knew that some babies spit up a lot and it doesn't mean anything is wrong, unless they're also seemingly in pain. Also, Babies that spit up a lot, even in their sleep, shouldn't be laid flat to sleep. In the hospital she started choking on her spit-up and thankfully a nurse was in the room to help that first time. My sisters son almost died in his sleep (literally, she found him blue) for choking on his spit-up, but i didn't realize how easy that can happen until I realized DD spit up a lot after nursing, even in sleep. She slept only in her Rock N Play the first 3 or 4 months (except starting to sleep her in her crib for nap time to get her adjusted to daycare).
    Me: 30 |  DH: 33
    Married: 8/11/2007

    DD: Born 2/3/17
    BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
  • Options
    pttomatopttomato member
    edited August 2018
    I wish I had known that DD would be ok even though I had some high blood sugars. I would freak out that I was damaging her every time I was even 1 point high. I still work hard at getting the best control I can, but I don’t have the extremely high anxiety and depression over it or a fear of food this time.

    I think I’m general it’s easier to stress about a lot of things less, because I’ve come through it and DD is doing ok. The whole idea of raising a human and how everything you do can have a big impact on how they turn out was hard for me. It seemed incredibly important to me to do every little thing exactly right or there would be some terrible consequences on how she turned out and it made parenting really stressful and difficult.

    That breastfeeding can be painful for a long time even if everything is going right. It took several months for latching not to be painful, even though several LCs said her latch was good. Basically her mouth needed to grow.

    Or that it can take a long time to get back to normal. Sex was difficult and painful for me for months.

    That you can’t just introduce a bottle, you may have to continue to give it. We introduced a bottle at a few weeks and she took it fine, but then we stopped giving it for a while when she was having bad gas and she refused it when we tried to re-introduce it.

    That doctors will sometimes brush off concerns because you are a nervous FTM, don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself. I didn’t have it with anything serious, but a friend kept telling her pedi that her baby was spitting up too much and they just kept telling her that all babies spit up, and it will get better, until her daughter lost a lot of weight and ended up being FTT.
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • Options
    @sweetyjenj we got a rock n play from a friend, how does it help prevent them from spitting up? I'm a dummy. Also i'm feeling very relieved that we have one now
  • Options
    @galactickates the sight incline doesn't necessarily stop them from spitting up, but it helps keep them from choking on it when they do. Also, it's portable and lightweight and easy to keep next to your bed at night. It helped me sleep better knowing she wasn't flat on her back in case she spit up while I was sleeping and I happened to not wake up. She did spit up in her sleep a lot at first, but thankfully I usually woke up.
    Me: 30 |  DH: 33
    Married: 8/11/2007

    DD: Born 2/3/17
    BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
  • Options
    I wish I would have known how horribly painful sex would be the first time PP even though I had a c section! 
  • Options
    This is my fifth. For me, I learned after the first to not tell anyone when we go to the hospital, bc those first hours are so special. We now are pretty specific about visitors, and have friends wait until we are home.

    I wish someone had prepared me for breastfeeding realities, and that for the first two weeks or so it can HURT even when you're doing it right, but could have also told me that it really does become super natural.

    I wish someone had told me that birth plans are a good thing, but need to be flexible. When my first didn't go according to plan I was SO disappointed in myself, when I should have just been proud!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Options
    I wish I knew how damn expensive formula is! I EP'd for 4 months, direct nursed until 10 months, and then switched him to formula for 2 months because he started biting and I was just DONE. I don't regret being done, but holy crap formula is expensive. 
    Me: 29, DH: 31
    Married: October 2014
    Began TTC: April 2015
    BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
    BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
    BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 <3
    BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19. 


  • Options
    I wish I had known the importance of self care while pregnant. I wish I had taken those opportunities to rest, to sleep, to get the pedicure, to read the books I wanted to read, and see the all the movies. After the baby comes, those things just fall by the wayside for a while.

    I also wish someone had told me that some crazy stuff can happen to your body post pregnancy. I experienced extreme swelling and seeping in my legs, and PUPPS on my stomach, and the Drs. shrugged--there was nothing they could do for me. I just wasn't prepared for any of that.
    BabyFruit Ticker

  • Options
    I wish I had known that you can dictate your induction. I'm really glad that my OB was more crunchy and wanted to try and let me labor on my own and broke my water and let me walk/bounce/shower before we moved on to pitocin. 

    I wish I had known that you can have sleep aids overnight. I was induced over night and once they put the cytoec in to soften my cervix, I couldn't sleep for anything. Those hospital beds suck. The next morning my OB was like "girl, you should have called me and I would have given you a sleep aid!" 
    TW

    M/C 06/09/2011
    DS 05/29/2013
    M/C 02/14/2017 
    M/C 06/05/2017 
    C/P 03/01/2018
    BFP 05/17/2018 EDD 01/27/2019 
    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"