for STM+, who all did you have in the delivery room with you for the pushing/birthing part of your labor? What about for the earlier parts of labor? For FTMs, what are your thoughts too?
My wife and doula will be there, and I'm trying to decide who else I'll feel comfortable with and when I might need to kick them out. Possible other people include my mom, mother-in-law, and sister. But will I really want that crowd around me when pushing, and will I want everyone else to have that moment with my newly born baby? I'm reserving the right to change my mind, but right now I'm planning to have them in for early labor and transition, but not the actual giving birth (if I can help it). That just seems like something I'll want to share with DW alone.
@roonilwaazlib it was just DH and I in the delivery room plus midwife, nurses and students! I only wanted it DH and I from the get go, anymore would have been too much. Plus it was nice to have the experience just the two of us. There was enough of a crowd with the nurses and students, extra people would have been too much and too stressful for me!
We also only had two sets of visitors in the hospital- my husbands parent's and his brother & his family. I took the advice of a friend to limit visitors, I was super tired and was learning to breastfeed so really needed that time just the three of us.
I am also worried about having a baby during flu season! I liked having a June baby because I could get outside with my stroller when I was stir crazy & even took my daughter out on excursions to places like Target- I wasn't extra fearful of there being flu everywhere. It was also nice because my parents both work for a school system and were off for the summer, they helped a lot. I think I will feel more condemned to this house this time, plus worried about DD in daycare & my resources are spread a little more thin. We have to keep paying for daycare to hold DD's spot, she goes 3 days/week & although it does make me nervous to bring the exposure back I also think it would be nice to have some time for just me & baby. Because of this, I think we will keep sending her since we're paying anyway. I think I'll worry about visitors too.
I'm trying to look on the bright side though, I shouldn't be going back to work until April and hopefully by the time this little one is in daycare themselves the bulk of the sick season will be past us. I think the perfect time to have a baby would have been, like, April but HEY can't plan every little detail
Me (28) & DH (35) Met 4/2010+Married 8/2014 TTC #1 August 2016. BFP 10/2016= DD Born 6.23.17
NTNP April 2018. BFP 5/2018 EDD 1.29.19 *Team Green*
@Mandamay1414 Terrified. DS is a late November baby and DD was in kindergarten when he was born and constantly sick. I don't know if it was her or a family member he caught something from at Christmas, but he got so sick with a respiratory infection at 5 weeks old. I rushed him to the ER one morning when he turned grey (we're 10 min from a hospital) and he was admitted right away and put on a bunch of drugs and oxygen. I'll spare you the details but over the next week his condition deteriorated and one night he was rushed by ambulance to the children's hospital and was in critical care in the PICU. He was at that hospital for another week. I thought he was going to die. To this day, the sound of an ambulance siren can send my emotions into a tailspin and it was 6.5 years ago. I think I may just ban everyone from visiting this time around.....and sanitize DD and DS when they get home from school every day.....
Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN May 17: IUI #2 = BFN Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies) Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201 Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715
U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125! EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
@Mandamay1414 When I figured out this baby would be born in January I was less than thrilled. DD1 isn't even in daycare and is sick with a cold the majority of the winter. DH and DD were sick with the stomach flu around Christmas last year, and that was awful. I'm not excited to be going to the doctor's office every week during the height of sick people season....
@rooonilwaazlib DH was the only one in the room with me when DD was born (there were also like a million doctors/nurses/med students because she came so fast)...it was perfect. I also ended up feeling really sick after DD was born and would not have wanted any visitors. My parents came the next day and that was the only visitors we had. Between trying to get rest, learning to breastfeed, it was hard to have visitors. I would tell your visitors to be flexible especially if you need more time to recover.
@Mandamay1414 to you plan to breastfeed? I was shocked my DD never got sick (also a winter baby) since your breastmilk with have your antibodies in it, and it will make babies immune system stronger. I even got sick a few times while nursing, but DD DIDN'T because she was getting my breastmilk that had the antibodies to fight the illness I had. I also made sure people weren't sick around her, or if they were, we stayed away. I didn't bring her into crowded areas, and if we were in public I wore her. She didn't go in the infant room at church until May.
@rooonilwaazlib it was just DH and I, though i was induced at noon on a Friday. I texted my mom and sister letting them know they could stop by, since the doctor said I likely won't be delivering until midnight. They were working at the time, then after work they were going to come to the hospital to say hi. My mom was going to stay through delivery, but not my sister. Turns out baby anted to come out at 630. My mom rushed over and barely arrived in time for me to push, and sister came over still after work to see the baby haha. I told everyone, though, that once the baby is out, I want ONLY Dh and I to see the baby for the first hour. So people didn't even pop in until after that.
I'm not as scared about flu/cold/etc. but I'm really scared about croup. DD got it from a cousin this last winter, and THANKFULLY she was almost a year old, so it seemed less scary since she was more sturdy, but when she couldn't breathe well I was TERRIFIED. I don't even want her to get it ever again, let alone now this new baby. They say once a child gets it once, they're at risk to having it multiple times. That was the worst week of my motherhood and I don't want to have that happen to BOTH babies this winter.
Wow! Some of you ladies could move your legs with the epidural? I was completely numb.. and it definitely didn’t feel like I had to poop when it came time to push lol.. the only way I knew i was supposed to push was I’d physically see my stomach tense up and I just did my best to “push” I couldn’t feel shit though because I was numb. I only pushed for 14 minutes though so I guess i did it right.
Im nervous about a January baby because here it’s snowing in January.. my daughter was born in November in central Texas was it wasn’t bad at all.. not too worried about germs though as much because we don’t get out much in January because of the snow and DD is still at home with me so no worries about daycare sick germs
So after you give birth, and people say they want an hour of skin to skin with baby or whatever, do they clean the baby up and then give them back to you, or is it hello world, straight to mom?
So after you give birth, and people say they want an hour of skin to skin with baby or whatever, do they clean the baby up and then give them back to you, or is it hello world, straight to mom?
It’s up to you. There are studies now that leaving the vernix on baby as long as possible has health and skin benefits for the baby so there is no need to bathe/wipe it off right away. But it’s personal choice and if you prefer them to clean baby up they definitely will!
So after you give birth, and people say they want an hour of skin to skin with baby or whatever, do they clean the baby up and then give them back to you, or is it hello world, straight to mom?
+1 to this question
Also, what is the purpose of the hour of skin to skin? I get wanting to bond generally, but what does skin to skin add?
Like @angiesbump I never felt ANYTHING with my epidurals. They were amazing lol couldn’t feel the contractions and the nurse would just feel my stomach and tell me when to push. I only had to push 3-4 times each so it didn’t impede me in effective pushing it seems. I was a nervous wreck and have a low pain tolerance so I was thankful the epidural worked as well as it did!
So after you give birth, and people say they want an hour of skin to skin with baby or whatever, do they clean the baby up and then give them back to you, or is it hello world, straight to mom?
It’s up to you. There are studies now that leaving the vernix on baby as long as possible has health and skin benefits for the baby so there is no need to bathe/wipe it off right away. But it’s personal choice and if you prefer them to clean baby up they definitely will!
Eww.
I'm sure I should do research, look at the science, etc etc. But my gut reaction to the combo of uncleaned, bloody newborn and skin to skin is just...eww.
for STM+, who all did you have in the delivery room with you for the pushing/birthing part of your labor? What about for the earlier parts of labor? For FTMs, what are your thoughts too?
FTM here. I always thought I'd have my mom in the delivery room with me, but that changed when *TW* I went through my miscarriage. She was there during the ultrasound, and was voicing how nervous she was that the baby was smaller than expected, hard to find, etc. I ended up consoling HER through the whole appt., and even after when I was grieving.*end TW* The last thing I want to worry about during my experience is anyone else's feelings/reactions, so I don't know how to break it to her that I want just me and SO.
Also, really feeling what someone said above about having that first hour as parent-only time. I hadn't thought about that before - I want it to be special for everyone else, too - but thinking about those first few moments and it's hitting me that it would really be the most special for ME to have that to ourselves. Selfish or nah? Lol
Yeah, as soon as DS came out, I expected that sweet moment of him laying on my chest... well, the umbilical cord was short, so he could only go on my stomach, and I think the nurses could tell by the look on my face that they could go ahead and clean him up
Married: May 2012 DS1: May 2016 DS2: Jan 2019 Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
@galactickates@AshVA they wipe baby off so they aren’t too slippery when you do skin to skin. I didnt think it was weird at all. DD didnt get a bath until the next day. I think the initial skin to skin calms babe down after the trauma of labor. By that point you probably won’t care if your baby is messy, you will just want to hold them!
@saltedcaramel518 I didn't realize they give them to you without cutting the cord. The visual of the cord being to short lol I would be like "uhhhh is this right?"
@galactickates@AshVA they wipe baby off so they aren’t too slippery when you do skin to skin. I didnt think it was weird at all. DD didnt get a bath until the next day. I think the initial skin to skin calms babe down after the trauma of labor. By that point you probably won’t care if your baby is messy, you will just want to hold them!
Ok, that sounds a little better.
Is this a decision that goes hand in hand with delayed cord clamping? I.e., if you want delayed clamping, does that pretty much necessitate delaying most of the cleanup as well? It seems like it would.
Also: STM+ thoughts on delayed cord clamping? What little I've read so far makes it sound like a good idea, but I'm not sure if it comes with negatives/ trade offs.
@sweetyjenj I do plan to breastfeed, so hopefully that helps. But the respiratory infections really scare me. DD spent a weekend in the hospital for dehydration because she had RSV and couldn't eat and breathe at the same time. She was 6 months old. @tosh24 How scary for you! This is EXACTLY what I'm terrified of.. they will be so little and have next to no vaccines for jan/feb/march (depending on due date). And given my experience with DD, I'm basically guaranteed to get whatever she gets.. maybe I'll get lucky and this amazing immunity kids are suppose to develop from being in daycare will finally kick in?
They just pulled DD out and layed her right on my chest. I got to have her on me while they were delivering the placenta and stiching me up. We didn’t get to do the whole hour though because I was bleeding too much so they took her to weigh her so they could do a lot of “uterus massaging” aka pushing on my stomach with all their weight.
We did delayed cord clamping because it may be helpful for the baby’s blood sugar and DD was at risk of low blood sugar, plus increased iron stores. It does increase the risk of jaudince, DD didn’t get that though. I want to delay the bath this time because I have seen that may help with blood sugar as well.
With my first child, I had to have an unscheduled C section because of some odd circumstances - decreased fetal movements, low heart rate... At 39 weeks, DS ended up only weighing 4lbs 11oz and there was some concern about his low heart rate. When I was brought into the room and introduced to the nurse who was looking after me that day, she was downright upset that another nurse hadn't instructed DH to do skin-to-skin with DS while they were stapling me up in the operating room. She said it was so important to help babies stabilize their heart rate, and she couldn't believe it hadn't been done right away with DS given his circumstances.
@AshVA I think when to “wash up” the baby depends on the hospital. My hospital is very BF friendly so they are mostly concerned with getting baby to latch and nurse in the first few hours after labor. DD was placed on me immediately after birth but then they had to whisk her away to check their vitals (DH was going to cut the cord but because of her quick delivery he did not get to do that). If you are doing a hospital tour you could ask about baths then.
@galactickates as soon as DS came out, he went right on my tummy for a few minutes. Then they took him away to do weight, measurement, vitals - all that good stuff. They wiped him down, too. Then they gave him back to me. They bathed him the following day.
PolarBear517 yes! I'm showing so early this time around. I wasn't this big until 18 weeks pregnant last time.
@galactickates, birth was totally different than I expected. Apparently, I'm someone who doesn't really feel contractions because I woke up from a nap, water broke, and the baby was born in 10 minutes. The actual birth part really effing hurt, but it was fast for me. I expected to be laboring all day and to actually know that I was about to have a baby, but he was a total surprise. I was lucky that I was already in the hospital because they were monitoring the baby's heartbeat.
@rooonilwaazlib, DH and I were the only ones there. I told family the next morning. I don't even want people to know I've given birth until I've had about 8 hours of bonding time.
Me: 29, DH: 31 Married: October 2014 Began TTC: April 2015 BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w) BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w) BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
@Mandamay1414 yes, I'm totally worried about my little germ factory toddler getting the baby sick. He even had the flu this past winter even though he had a flu shot.
Me: 29, DH: 31 Married: October 2014 Began TTC: April 2015 BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w) BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w) BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
Does anyone not feel very connected to this pregnancy yet? This is my 4th pregnancy, but I have 1 child. Maybe it's because I'm so busy with a toddler, but I don't even remember I'm pregnant sometimes. All of my other pregnancies were all consuming. I'm being hormonal and irrational and worrying that I won't be as attached to this baby as I am to my son.
Me: 29, DH: 31 Married: October 2014 Began TTC: April 2015 BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w) BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w) BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
I don’t feel really connected, but I didn’t with DD either. She felt more like an idea than a real baby to me until she was born. I think it was about a week after she was born that I really felt a connection with her.
@kns1988 this was exactly how I felt up until a few days ago when I started to be able to feel movement. Now it’s like more real for me. I don’t get many symptoms while pregnant (the only I had for a few weeks was being tired) so I almost forget I’m pregnant a lot but now that I’m feeling baby it’s much more of a connection already. DD also always want to hug and kiss my fat (belly lol) and say “love you baby sister or baby brother” so seeing her connect with him/her is also making it easier for it seem as though we’re all connecting together in a sense..
For those who asked why skin-to-skin is important right after delivery, UNICEF’s baby friendly website lists these benefits:
Calms and relaxes both mother and baby
Regulates the baby’s heart rate and breathing, helping them to better adapt to life outside the womb
Stimulates digestion and an interest in feeding
Regulates temperature
Enables colonisation of the baby’s skin with the mother’s friendly bacteria, thus providing protection against infection
Stimulates the release of hormones to support breastfeeding and mothering.
I haven’t personally read the research, but it definitely seems worth looking into.
That skin to skin time was the best esp in the NICU. I’d start leaking everywhere as soon as DD was on my chest. Her oxygen level would fall within normal range and heartbeat would also fall within normal range within minutes of holding her (tho she did spike up and down at times but overall, skin to skin/kangaroo time was one of the best things I remember).
My question is - for moms that have DD or DS and is now expecting the opposite, are you excited/nervous?! I’m sort of nervous if it’s a boy. I really only imagined myself as a girl mom and know what to expect from having DD first but I’d like to hear what the experiences have been like in case I need to face that reality.
I had just my DH in the room. The only other person I could imagine having would be my bff. My mom stresses me out and having my MIL would just be weird for me. Last time my parents and sister rushed up to the delivery floor after I specifically told them to wait until I called, once I was settled in my room. I was literally getting stitched and a nurse came in to tell me I had visitors. I was NOT happy. I texted my sister and told them to go down to the lobby and that I would call them when i was ready. Lesson learned, this time we aren’t telling anyone he’s here until I’m actually ready for visitors.
I’m also so nervous about the flu season. It’s going to stress me out so much, I already know it.
@pttomato funny story, my daughter was kinda like that for me.. more of an “idea” rather than an actual human baby.. like I suppose I still imagined her as like a fetus/thing I suppose.. not really an actual baby. When I gave birth that’s the first thing I said “that’s a real baby! Oh my god, that’s an actual baby” and everyone around me was like... what did you expect? Lol
@saltedcaramel518 yes DDs cord was so short she only made it to my stomach. After she was born she was placed on my stomach immediately. She stayed there until the cord stopped pulsing, it felt like 10 minutes but I have no idea how long it really was. I spaced out and came to. I asked what we were waiting for and MW said for the cord to stop. I must have spaced out again because I have no memory of DH cutting the cord but he says he did lol. Then they took her over to check vitals/ weight and wiped her down some more but she didn't get a bath until the following morning.
@kns1988 No, I don't feel connected either. It was such a long, hard road to get here and after 3 losses, it's hard to think of this baby as anything more than a "possibility". I want to be excited so badly. I'm so lucky to have had success so far but letting myself think I will get a THB after all this is still anxiety-inducing because I feel like I'm going to jinx things. I am relieved and happy every time I hear the HB or see baby on u/s, but I don't feel that giddy excitement that I did with my other two. I'm hoping once I get my NIPT results back (and everything is OK, FX) I will start to relax. Especially as my belly grows and I start to feel baby, I think that will be more reassuring for me.
@AliKay20 I had a DD first and I was pretty happy with that because on my dad's side of the family (which are the only local family I have), we are all girls. My dad has two sisters and then he (and my mom) have 3 daughters, his one sister has 4 daughters, and his other sister has 3 daughters. So, I knew what to do with a girl lol! We were Team Green with DS but I felt like he was going to be a boy. I was a little bit worried about what I was going to do with a boy but all of those worries were totally unfounded. I LOVE being a boy mom and I actually feel sad for my mom and aunts who didn't get to experience what it's like. Mother-son love is sweet and the bond is totally different than with my DD (although I love them both the same, of course). I just feel really lucky that I have the opportunity to experience having a daughter and a son. Both my mom and my one aunt, who are now grandmothers to boys, say how they just love being grandmas to boys and it is actually different to their experience with girls.
Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN May 17: IUI #2 = BFN Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies) Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201 Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715
U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125! EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
Question for STM+: what are your thoughts on double strollers? Necessity? DD will be almost 3 when LO is born. She really only likes to ride in the stroller when we walk to the park. Do we buy the double and risk that she might not want to be in it for long?
DS will be almost 6 and I have no intention of getting a double. We're going to Disney while I'm on mat leave and I'll probably just wear this LO and let DS have the stroller when needed.
Here it’s a “rule” that they will not bathe Baby until 24 hours after the birth. They wiped DD down so I didn’t really notice her being disgusting but they waited literally 24 hours to bathe her- aka they woke us up at 11pm the following day to do so. It’s also allegedly a rule to do delayed cord clamping but that didn’t happen. And I couldn’t get her to latch because I was waiting to be stitched up for a couple hours though we did do skin to skin ... like I said it was rough.
Im also not really connected and wasn’t w DD either. People are always horrified that I refer to the fetus as “it” or “the baby” and not MY baby or by a cutesy name but.. shrug. The connection will come at some point. To this day I never had some lightbulb epiphany w DD like OMG THE CONNECTION but I would definitely kill people for that baby (apparently I still call her that) so maybe the “connection” is there. I’m just not the maternal type. Don’t feel weird if you aren’t either... doesn’t mean you won’t be a great mom and take amazing care of your kid.
Question for STM+: what are your thoughts on double strollers? Necessity? DD will be almost 3 when LO is born. She really only likes to ride in the stroller when we walk to the park. Do we buy the double and risk that she might not want to be in it for long?
I have this same question! DD will almost be 5 when this one is born- we might get one of those stroller board attachments- anyone have experience with this?
My DD at 4 does still ride in a stroller from time to time (when we were on vacation or if she’s really tired and we want to walk somewhere) but she does get out a lot to walk.
If you are interested in a double stroller I just found a stroller brand called ‘Joovy’ that is sort of a double stroller but instead of a second seat it has a board and little seat on the back.
@unbreakablekimmyschmidt Since DD will only be 19 months when this baby is born I am planning on a double stroller, but curious what other moms have to say... We used a Graco Click Connect travel system for DD and so I'm leaning toward the Graco Ready2Grow so that it is compatible with that car seat.
Me (28) & DH (35) Met 4/2010+Married 8/2014 TTC #1 August 2016. BFP 10/2016= DD Born 6.23.17
NTNP April 2018. BFP 5/2018 EDD 1.29.19 *Team Green*
@UnbreakableKimmySchmidt Get a sit and stand! DD was 5 when DS was born, so long out of a stroller. But, she did still need me to pull her in a wagon or rent a stroller if we were doing a day long excursion (amusement park, zoo, etc.). When DS came along I got a sit and stand. There is a seat for baby in the front (you can snap in the carseat too) and then there is a little bench seat and standing platform at the back by the stroller handles. It was PERFECT. Even though DD was older, it was still helpful to be able to have her sit/stand and stay in one place when I needed her to, and also once she saw the baby in the stroller, she would get all whiny and want to be pushed around as well. I had the Baby Trend brand. Tried out the Joovy but it didnt work well with our car seat.
Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN May 17: IUI #2 = BFN Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies) Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201 Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715
U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125! EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
Skin to skin thoughts- DD1 had swallowed meconium so they took her right away to suction and DH was the first to hold her. It was torture not to be able to hold her first. I just sat there getting stitched up. DD2 they put her on me right away and it was awesome. They also kept DD2 in the room for everything and we got to give her, her first bath a day later which was nice.
Double Strollers- I think they are nice to have especially if you can find one second hand. They are kind of a necessity on vacations or long walking times. Otherwise a single stroller and the older kid walking is fine for short walks or around the mall.
Re: Ask Me Anything thread!
I am also worried about having a baby during flu season! I liked having a June baby because I could get outside with my stroller when I was stir crazy & even took my daughter out on excursions to places like Target- I wasn't extra fearful of there being flu everywhere. It was also nice because my parents both work for a school system and were off for the summer, they helped a lot. I think I will feel more condemned to this house this time, plus worried about DD in daycare & my resources are spread a little more thin. We have to keep paying for daycare to hold DD's spot, she goes 3 days/week & although it does make me nervous to bring the exposure back I also think it would be nice to have some time for just me & baby. Because of this, I think we will keep sending her since we're paying anyway. I think I'll worry about visitors too.
I'm trying to look on the bright side though, I shouldn't be going back to work until April and hopefully by the time this little one is in daycare themselves the bulk of the sick season will be past us. I think the perfect time to have a baby would have been, like, April but HEY can't plan every little detail
Met 4/2010+Married 8/2014
TTC #1 August 2016. BFP 10/2016= DD Born 6.23.17
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
@Mandamay1414 When I figured out this baby would be born in January I was less than thrilled. DD1 isn't even in daycare and is sick with a cold the majority of the winter. DH and DD were sick with the stomach flu around Christmas last year, and that was awful. I'm not excited to be going to the doctor's office every week during the height of sick people season....
@rooonilwaazlib DH was the only one in the room with me when DD was born (there were also like a million doctors/nurses/med students because she came so fast)...it was perfect. I also ended up feeling really sick after DD was born and would not have wanted any visitors. My parents came the next day and that was the only visitors we had. Between trying to get rest, learning to breastfeed, it was hard to have visitors. I would tell your visitors to be flexible especially if you need more time to recover.
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
Im nervous about a January baby because here it’s snowing in January.. my daughter was born in November in central Texas was it wasn’t bad at all.. not too worried about germs though as much because we don’t get out much in January because of the snow and DD is still at home with me so no worries about daycare sick germs
Also, what is the purpose of the hour of skin to skin? I get wanting to bond generally, but what does skin to skin add?
I'm sure I should do research, look at the science, etc etc. But my gut reaction to the combo of uncleaned, bloody newborn and skin to skin is just...eww.
Also, really feeling what someone said above about having that first hour as parent-only time. I hadn't thought about that before - I want it to be special for everyone else, too - but thinking about those first few moments and it's hitting me that it would really be the most special for ME to have that to ourselves. Selfish or nah? Lol
DS1: May 2016
DS2: Jan 2019
Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
Is this a decision that goes hand in hand with delayed cord clamping? I.e., if you want delayed clamping, does that pretty much necessitate delaying most of the cleanup as well? It seems like it would.
Also: STM+ thoughts on delayed cord clamping? What little I've read so far makes it sound like a good idea, but I'm not sure if it comes with negatives/ trade offs.
BFP April 24, 2018 | EDD December 29, 2018
We did delayed cord clamping because it may be helpful for the baby’s blood sugar and DD was at risk of low blood sugar, plus increased iron stores. It does increase the risk of jaudince, DD didn’t get that though. I want to delay the bath this time because I have seen that may help with blood sugar as well.
With my first child, I had to have an unscheduled C section because of some odd circumstances - decreased fetal movements, low heart rate... At 39 weeks, DS ended up only weighing 4lbs 11oz and there was some concern about his low heart rate. When I was brought into the room and introduced to the nurse who was looking after me that day, she was downright upset that another nurse hadn't instructed DH to do skin-to-skin with DS while they were stapling me up in the operating room. She said it was so important to help babies stabilize their heart rate, and she couldn't believe it hadn't been done right away with DS given his circumstances.
@galactickates, birth was totally different than I expected. Apparently, I'm someone who doesn't really feel contractions because I woke up from a nap, water broke, and the baby was born in 10 minutes. The actual birth part really effing hurt, but it was fast for me. I expected to be laboring all day and to actually know that I was about to have a baby, but he was a total surprise. I was lucky that I was already in the hospital because they were monitoring the baby's heartbeat.
@rooonilwaazlib, DH and I were the only ones there. I told family the next morning. I don't even want people to know I've given birth until I've had about 8 hours of bonding time.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
My question is - for moms that have DD or DS and is now expecting the opposite, are you excited/nervous?! I’m sort of nervous if it’s a boy. I really only imagined myself as a girl mom and know what to expect from having DD first but I’d like to hear what the experiences have been like in case I need to face that reality.
I’m also so nervous about the flu season. It’s going to stress me out so much, I already know it.
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
DS 05/29/2013
M/C 02/14/2017
M/C 06/05/2017
C/P 03/01/2018
BFP 05/17/2018 EDD 01/27/2019
Im also not really connected and wasn’t w DD either. People are always horrified that I refer to the fetus as “it” or “the baby” and not MY baby or by a cutesy name but.. shrug. The connection will come at some point. To this day I never had some lightbulb epiphany w DD like OMG THE CONNECTION but I would definitely kill people for that baby (apparently I still call her that) so maybe the “connection” is there. I’m just not the maternal type. Don’t feel weird if you aren’t either... doesn’t mean you won’t be a great mom and take amazing care of your kid.
My DD at 4 does still ride in a stroller from time to time (when we were on vacation or if she’s really tired and we want to walk somewhere) but she does get out a lot to walk.
If you are interested in a double stroller I just found a stroller brand called ‘Joovy’ that is sort of a double stroller but instead of a second seat it has a board and little seat on the back.
Met 4/2010+Married 8/2014
TTC #1 August 2016. BFP 10/2016= DD Born 6.23.17
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
Double Strollers- I think they are nice to have especially if you can find one second hand. They are kind of a necessity on vacations or long walking times. Otherwise a single stroller and the older kid walking is fine for short walks or around the mall.