Say what????

galactickates

Apparently being pregnant gives the people around us a license to verbal vom. What are some of the things you're sick of hearing or makes you scratch your head.

galactickates

Please for the love of god please stop asking me how I'm feeling. 

Kabazaba

Please stop telling me you can see my baby bump. You really can't. I'm just shaped like jolly Buddha. #noregrets

kaf1788

A favorite of men aged 50+ in my and my husband's family: "Are you sure you want to take that much maternity leave? Aren't you worried they'll realize they don't need you?"

Nope not worried at all. Because it's actually good practice for companies to cross train and never be in a situation where the loss of one person for an extended period of time (whether it be maternity, disability, long vacation, etc) is devastating. Also I'm in a rotational program where I'd be moving to a new department in the summer anyways so clearly there already needs to be a plan B in place.  I love my father but I'm glad people with his mentality are retiring and will hopefully be extinct from the workforce soon.

Kabazaba

@kaf1788 My lady boss who took 1 yr with her first and 3 months with her second said to me in the kitchen the other day: don't you think you'll be bored after 6 weeks off (I'm planning to take 12). :side eye emoji:

saltedcaramel518

When I announced my first pregnancy at work, a lady I barely know (as in, passing each other in the break room is our only interaction) came to my desk and said, “Congratulations! I had no idea you were even trying to get pregnant.”

Well, that’s not something I sent out on a office-wide memo, so.. 

AliKay20

Wait so...was this one actually planned? 

sparkymcgeee

That I need to stop being so stressed and anxious because that's not good for the baby. Well you lose three babies and tell me how you handle it. K thx bai

pttomato

“Hopefully this one is your boy!” What’s wrong with having girls?

galactickates

"Enjoy being pregnant! Enjoy the attention! This is what you wanted!"
Uhhhh no I wanted a child.... big difference 

libertymomrn

I hate the question, “Was it planned?” I’m not sure if they’re asking because this is baby #4, or because I’m older than many in my area who are having babies. 

Honestly, no, it wasn’t planned, though.

wkuandrea

I personally enjoy "aren't you worried about being older and having a baby? Isn't there increased risk for birth defects and stuff?" Yeah, I know, thanks, also I'm not *that* old (38).

sparkymcgeee

I haven't gotten the is it planned question yet. Everyone at work and in my family knows I had two losses last year so I think everyone was expecting it to happen sooner or later. But I'm sure it will come from people that weren't aware after I post on social media. Especially since I'm 37 and the gap between my kids will be a bit bigger than we would have liked. 

AliKay20

Reading all of these makes me ragey AF. 

Conclusion: 

kianarain

"So when's the wedding?" Oh...didn't know it was 1900 and shameful to bring a child out of wedlock into this world. Especially when we're fully financially capable and have a family that supports our PLANNED decision. I don't want a shotgun wedding, and I think it's going to be so special to have our LO there when it's time. So what if we want to do things differently? And how is it anyone's business how we go about it? #damnmillenials

DLpanda08

I’m really sick of people saying that we got pregnant because we adopted... or how “this is how it always happens”. 

Our adoption has absolutely nothing to do with my reproductive organs getting their act together. 

alexandraseattle

You really should be eating [fill in the blank] for the baby. 

If my doctor isn’t concerned that I’m vegetarian why are you?!?! 

merostomata

So, why didn’t you want to adopt a child that was already here?

-My poor sister, bless her, who believes we are contributing to overpopulation. I mean technically, sure, but c’mon 

skilouise

 I've gotten the "was this planned?" question from several people, including people we barely know.

I try not to mind the question from people we know, as I'm being fairly open about our struggles and the IVF. But why would a practical stranger ask that question? 

ladystout08

Told my coworkers and one of them said "I thought you looked like you'd put on a few pounds."

galactickates

@ladystout08 - NO!!! Are you kidding me??? What did you say back?????

kmvisioli

Any variation on "hoping it's a girl" this time. Either they assume we hope it is, or they're hoping it is, or they suggest we keep going until it is... Seriously, NO.

We wanted four, so this is the last either way, and it would probably be easier to have another boy at this point.

AliKay20

@ladystout08 yep. Same here! 

“I knew it! Your face showed.” Aka your face got fat. 

Oh and the audacity of the acquaintances that come through social media messages - not lying. Had a girl msg me who I have not spoken to in a decade or more:

”I didn’t know you had a baby! Congrats!! Did you guys try for a long time? Timed it on the day of ovulation? We’re tracking now. What did you guys do to get pregnant?”

WHAAAAAAAT. She then started asking a million questions about my DD’s middle name (which is a combo of me and DH’s name). Two years later, she had a girl and her first name rhymes w my DD’s name + my DD’s exact middle name. 

People be cray. 

dubcompanion

"Congratulations! I was wondering when you guys were finally going to have another one."

For the record, DD is 16 months old.

sfgiantsgamerbabe

“Do you know what you’re  having?” Ummmm...a baby. It’s too soon to tell what the sex is.

Followed by....

”What are you hoping for? A boy or a girl?” A healthy baby is what I’m hoping for because I couldn’t care less what sex it is. I’m happy either way and that it’s another winter baby because I have winter baby stuff! 

libertymomrn

The wife of one of my home health patients asked me last week if I was pregnant, and when a I said, “Yes, but I’m only 10 weeks along,” she responded, “I thought you had to be pregnant because you don’t seem the type who would let yourself go to this point.” 

To to be fair, she’s like this even when I’m not pregnant. She once said to me, “You’re pretty, but you’d be prettier if you added strawberry blonde highlights to your hair and got just a little boob job. Not much of one, just a little one.”

She cracks me up every time I go over there.

furmama1986

Back story:
I have gained some Lbs in the past couple years. ( I haven't seen my dad's wife since then.)  We had a trip planned to see them in June.  I decided to tell my dad about the pregnancy in person even though we were only about barely 8 weeks.

I give him his birthday card and it mentions "can't wait to meet you grandpa "

Instead of a nice moment to remember,  his wife chimed in " I knew it from the moment I saw you. "

I replied "actually, I've just gotten fat over the years.... I'm barely pregnant but thanks for noticing my weight gain"

Later she mentioned that she "can't wait to criticize our name choices"

kianarain

@libertymomrn HAHA sorry, totally inappropriate, but I can't hep but lmao reading this post. "just a little one" …. BRB crying. (Also when is the age cutoff to be inappropriately honest with others? 25 too soon?)

leighbrek

Tired of two things:
1) "This is the most beautiful time of your life - enjoy it!" -says the men who don't know sh*t
Yeah. Eff you. This is a pretty crappy time. Most beautiful... Probably the feeling of reaching the top of a volcano I hiked in the Philippines, or something along those lines. I honestly truly dislike being pregnant.

2) "Birth is going to hurt soooo much."
Ya don't say? I thought it was going to be a series of small orgasms followed by one huge explosive one. Boy, guess I had that wrong. 

ladystout08

@galactickates I was like "yep, eating for two now." 

luckymay2x

I haven't told my co workers yet, but when I do I will have some gems. Last time the worst comments came from them. When I told them about my 1st pregnancy, one of my female coworkers blurted out "I knew it! Your boobs got HUGE"

This same coworker (months later) asked if our work team could pick a name for the baby. Then she couldn't understand why I got so offended over the idea.

CoastieGirl79

When I was battling all-day sickness, I was told "that's good because that means the baby is taking nourishment from you." I about jumped out of my skin. 

I've also been asked if this was planned. Even if it wasn't, is that really anyone's business? Hell no. 

@dubcompanion we've been getting the same thing. I couldn't stand when people asked us if we were going to have children after getting married. It really hit a sore spot when we were asked after one loss and two years o f trying. 

Mandamay1414

For the most part, the wacky comments don't bother me. BUT the "was it planned?" question from anyone, especially complete strangers or coworkers fills me with rage. With my DD, the first question out of at least 4 ppls mouths was "was it planned". First of all, it's none of your business. Second of all, the way ppl asked made me feel like an irresponsible 15 year old.. I was 26, married, had a full time, stable job... And even if I wasn't in a relatively stable spot in my life.. what difference does it make? The baby existed and I would provide for it the best I could regardless of how other things in my life were going. 

katethemom

I worked at Subway with a lot of high school kids after I graduated from college. I was 25 when I got pregnant with DS. Once I started to get bigger, people started looking at me like they were really surprised to see a pregnant lady behind the counter. I had several people ask me "what grade are you in?" and others asked if I was going to be able to finish school. I can't blame them for thinking I was younger than I was because of where I worked, but those questions were just offensive. Even if I had been in high school, why would they feel like they could ask those questions? 

rooonilwaazlib

I wish ppl would stop telling me what to do to combat the nausea I’ve had for 6 weeks. Yes I have the internet and I can look up remedies! THX!  

And also when they ask how I am and I say I’m tired and they reply “wait until the baby comes and you’ll really be tired.” Thanks for asking how I am and then immediately invalidating my experience!  SUPER!!!! 



Edited because I straight up used the wrong word in my original post...convey instead of combat.  Ohhhh prego brain!

sweetyjenj

I don't like (or understand the need to ask) "were you guys trying?" BECAUSE, I know that some people wouldn't like hearing me say that we weren't actually going to start trying for a few months, but that this came as an early pleasant surprise. I wouldn't offer that info to people, and would prefer not to share it in case the person I'm talking to has been trying for a long time, but when someone asks, I'm not going to lie, so I just cringe every time while I answer.

Also, "I bet you're hoping for a boy this time." or "I'm sure Justin wants a boy this time." .....really? Actually, BOTH of us are hoping for a girl, but yes we'd be thrilled if it's a boy. I especially can't stand when they follow up with, "Well, men like having boys so they can carry on the family name!"  

KariAnn323

A lot of people who know we did fertility treatments ask if we’re having twins. When I say no they’re like are you sure. It’s like nope trust me we’ve had lots ultrasounds and I was a poor responder. There’s definitely just one.

pttomato

@sweetyjenj Ugh, carrying on the family name. My MIL had already told me that we need to have a boy so the family name doesn’t end with DH. Eyeroll. Plus, DH has one of the most common names in the country, are we really afraid of it dying out?

AliKay20

Ermahgad. Yes to this 100x @sweetyjenj

We already have a girl name picked out in hopes for DD to get to have a sister but everyone automatically assumes we’re wanting a boy. They’re so surprised when I tell them the opposite. Don’t get me wrong, I’d be happy w a boy but we weren’t trying for a boy either so these comments just annoy me. Somehow having one of each is considered the perfect family and it does put a lot of pressure on some moms. Not cool.

galactickates

@KariAnn323 omg how could I forget that one! "Are you sure it's not twins? There might be one hiding"  
Nope, no, there is not

rooonilwaazlib

@galactickates @kariann323 SERIOUSLY! this one's a doozy. 

Since it's pretty obvious my wife and I needed some help getting pregnant, people in general will ask "how did you do it?" I just say we needed to ask for more help, because with as much unprotected sex as we had for the 9 years we've been together, she just did not manage to get me KO.  Jeez people, use your brain and the internet -- it's science! 

It'd be like asking straight people what position they were in during sex -- and I am sure there are people who have been asked THAT one!