Had a dream last night that a few of us were all being induced together (like same room same time) and it was this beautiful bonding event...until I remembered that I wasn't planning to be induced and backed out at the last minute.
@kissableviv totally normal to mourn the loss of a "previous life", or feel sad about the anticipated change. More than getting married, kids really change your life. My mom tried to make me feel guilty about feelings like that after DD was born but I didn't fall for it. Just soak in the peace, the snuggles, and the alone time while you can. It doesn't mean you aren't going to also enjoy the slight chaos of your first child any less. :-)
So... my July baby just became a June baby. I have no details, but my Ob just left a VM and said after consulting with high risk, hematology and anesthesia they’re scheduling my CS 6/28 at 38+1! No explanation why. I’m in total shock. I now have less than a week to wrap things up at work - and to make sure my team of 125 peeps and major projects don’t fall apart while I’m MIA. Holy crap
@pretzellover great news to hear over a voicemail with no explaination! I'm loving you comment because yay babies but...I can imagine that this last week will be a little more stressful for you with that shortened timeline! Hopefully when you call back there is an explaination involved.
@pretzellover omgosh next week! I hope you can get your work stuff sorted in time...and if you don't, the people at work will figure it out. Remember the importance vs urgent chart and only focus on the ones that are both. You can do this!! Yay for another baby!
Man I've been totally MIA today. To go through everything that has happened and reply individually is a little daunting. I do want to say I'm so sorry to hear about your dog @kbernal2021. Also, goodluck today @catftm2018 , I'll be waiting for your announcement!
I am literally so close to being done with my last project before maternity leave I can taste it! This is the last full project I have to complete, after that I just help out where I can until I pop. I also forgot my headphones today so I haven't really been able to goof off as much as usual by cutting myself off from everyone and "looking busy". Now I actually have to be busy.
@catftm2018 FX everything goes smoothly today! So excited!
@pretzellover eep! Excited for you too. I hope you get an explanation as to why though and that all the loose strings come together nicely!
@kissableviv I have feelings like that too even though this is my 3rd. I keep thinking “our life was perfect before, I shouldn’t have fixed something that wasn’t broken” but I felt like we needed a caboose and my DD wasn’t it. It’s a big adjustment for everyone, but it’s a good adjustment too! Date nights and alone time is REALLY Important to me and DH so it doesn’t have to be the end of the things that the two of you enjoy! Once you figure everything out and things settle down, you won’t wish it any other way!
Thank you for all the support, ladies! I just returned from my prenatal massage and I am all blissed out! I agree with all of you and I know you may have similar feelings about adding another child to your mix, so it's nice to feel supported. I know for a fact DH and I will have a different relationship but I am positive that we have a solid foundation and hopefully that will make the obstacles a little easier. I shared how I feel with him and he totally understands and feels similarly so we are definitely soaking in these days and taking it one day at a time rather than getting anxious about "impeding doom" (easier said that done )
My mom will def be ok with us going out while she stays here (before baby) I set her up with Sling TV and some Italian channels so she won't feel too out of the loop - my stepdad won't be here until July 31st so she'll be fully immersed into American culture! She has never been here this long, so I am also trying to be sensitive to her situation. Once the baby is here I think she will only have eyes for him, and I am pretty ok with that! I can count on the IL to help more with logistical stuff, driving us around, getting groceries, etc.
@pretzellover OMG! Sending you all the good vibes! I know it's a bit scary right now, but I guess at least they have a plan?? Nicely done with the VM...and work...well...you do what you can and they'll have to survive! Health first!
@flockofmoosen3 I am having dreams daily about delivering this baby too and crazy induction stuff, I think it's because a few of us are having the babies now and so it's been on my mind, but he needs to cook until the 29th at least!
@pretzellover You can do this!! To do lists helped me with my scattered brain make sure I tied up all my loose ends at work. I still have a lot to do at home before Tuesday but my mom gave me the best advice . Babies don't need a lot. it doesn't need to be perfect when you come home. hang in there
@acunamatada phantom smells as re totally a thing I'm convinced. I keep smelling something rancid like a dead mouse or animal and no one else can smell it. I have pulled everything from cabinets looking for a dead mouse somewhere and bleached/deep cleaned every nook and cranny trying to get rid of the smell and yet I still get it at random! So weird!
+1 to the overbearing in law's and family. My MIL has already told me she plans to wait in the waiting room while I'm being induced. I haven't told many family members the date I will be going in and the ones that do know the date do not know the time. I told my DH when they are all looking for updates that I want him to let them know they can come after DS has had a chance to meet his baby sister before anyone else. While I have voiced this many times over the last several months none of them think it's a big deal for them to be there and meet the baby first. I have already told my husband that our son will be the first even if it means the hospital staff turns my family away. Not super close with my mom, and she hasn't asked about a date because she got her feelings hurt I wouldn't allow her in the delivery room with DS. So she bothered to not want details this time which is perfectly fine by me as harsh as it sounds.
Also THANK YOU ladies for all of your support and encouragement regarding our sweet dog. It's been a challenging time to say the least with very full plates but seriously hoping and praying things level out a bit for us once DD is born and before we have to list the house and worry about a move.
@kbernal2021 at my hospital, the nurses will turn people away if you want them to. Definitely put that on your birth plan and tell them the instant you check in! I've told my entire family the same - we want DD to be the first person to meet the baby and have time with us as a new family first. Luckily, everyone on both sides has been understanding of that.
I refused to tell anyone when I was induced with my first because I didn't want people waiting in the waiting room. I thought it would make me too anxious and more likely to "give in" to interventions that I didn't want.
My sister is coming next month, maybe in time for the birthing event, and my mom keeps saying how much my sister wants to be present for the actual birth...because it'd be cool to see. I kind of don't mind, but I also don't want to be some weird entertainment for her. DH really doesn't want extra people in the delivery room with us, so I'm hoping I can avoid hurt feelings by just asking my sister to stay home and watch the kids while we go to the hospital. Lame, I know. At least my mom, who may also be here, has already said she doesn't plan to go to the hospital with us.
@pretzellover WOW, wow, WOW!!!! So frustrating that they let you know over voice-mail (I didn't think they could even legally do that!), but yaaaay baby and a plan!
@catftm2018 Good luck! I hope it's going as smoothly as possible. Can't wait to hear about your little one!
Sending you lots of hugs and positive thoughts @kbernal2021! Losing a pet is always hard.
@catftm2018 thinking of you! Fx to an easish labor and birth!!
@pretzellover Oh my! How exciting!!! Something my boss said to me lastnight after I expressed to him I feel bad for leaving him and my team hanging with a pending launch; he said having a baby and experiencing this is more important and takes priority than any job or other responsibilities. Your team and job will figure it out!
Trying to catch up more on all the threads. I'm still being more of a lurker lately. Just not feeling so hot and social. Ready for this baby to be here already, even though I have about 4 more weeks. I go on leave next Friday. I'm just done. Exhausted. Mentally unable to focus more than 20-30 minutes. Lacking sleep in the most ridiculous way.
Had some homeless man come to our door this morning asking to give me a massage in exchange for money. Our security screen was locked, thank God. The dogs were so aggressive with their barking, it made me feel a bit more safe, in some weird way. Told the guy to go away however he lingered a little. Once he was gone, i called the police. It's just me and my step dad, who has dementia. Everyone else is at work. I dont want to imagine what would have happened if my step dad went to the door and dealt with this guy. He is too nice and naive. It could have ended differently. Major plus to having the nextdoor app and ring doorbell. I posted the encounter on nextdoor and a few of the neighbors were even updating where this guy was. As well as 2 of them getting in their cars to patrol our neighborhood. My sister posted the video from ring, so everyone knew what the guy looked like. It took the police 2 hours to show up and do an area check. Trying to explain to my step dad that we need to stay inside and keep the doors locked was the hardest part all of this. He didnt want to come inside at all (he likes to sit out on the front porch swing during the day). He also likes to use the side gate to walk in and out of. Dementia is no joke. Having to explain to him 6-7 times why his safety is improtant is exhausting.
What is the best way to tell your family that they need to wait before visiting the hospital?
I honestly hadn’t thought about it until reading some of your stories, because we didn’t live by either family when I gave birth to DD.
Now I’m living with my in-laws for the summer and I guess I should bring it up? They are going to be watching DD while I give birth, so obviously they will come to the hospital with her so she can meet the new baby. But how soon is too soon? I really want space, especially if DH doesn’t make it back to town in time. Because his family is kind of overwhelming when he’s not there as a buffer. And I really enjoyed breastfeeding without coverage last time I stayed at the hospital but can’t do that in front of my in-laws.
@MichelleAG05 I register at the hospital tomorrow and plan to let them know as well as remind them upon check in. With my DS literally every one of my in laws were out in the waiting room the entire 5 hours I was in labor. As soon as they knew I had given birth they were all trying to rush in the room before I was even stitched up etc. Not happening again!!
@emsnedds I would say whatever you are comfortable with. Our good friends are keeping DS while we are at the hospital so they will meet the baby when DS does, however I have already expressed that I would like them to give us a little time just the 4 of us as well. They said they would drop off DS and give us all the time we wanted/ needed before picking him up. I would say be open with your IL's about what your wanting in terms of space and time with your DD and relay that same plan to your DH so he can advocate when your not able to.
@emsnedds i have yet to tell my parents that they won’t be able to see me until the next day. That’s when they’ll bring DS too. They probably won’t like the idea (again) but oh well! I can at least FaceTime them. With DS we didn’t allow anyone until the next day and it was time because of the amount of visitors. This time i don’t think we’ll time it since all family and friends live out of town. Sone hospital d have a quiet time so that’s a good time to use as an excuse to not have anyone there (even if it’s not fully enforced).
@zombiehoohaa Glad things turned out ok this am given the situation.. that would have been upsetting to me as well.
@d_marie_23 My OB is ‘special’. I forwarded my husband the VM and he can’t stop laughing at how ridiculous & unprofessional it is. Finally connected with her and Bc they need blood & platelet transfusions ready for my general anesthesia CS, they said they couldn’t risk me going into labor so 38w it is.
@lindsayleigh1989@kissableviv@hillbillywife@flockofmoosen3 Thank you guys and good luck to you too! Can’t believe so many of us are at the end (or a new beginning)! Definitely going to make lists, do my best to get it all done, and be glad it takes my mind off the CS for a few more days!
As far as people coming to the hospital we've been pretty lucky as both our families are super laid back. I went into labour in the middle. Of the night with our first and he was born at 745 am... Once we were settled in our recovery room we called both sets of grandparents to invite them to come meet their grandchild - that was the first anyone knew that anything was even going on! With our second my inlaws were spending the day with their daughters family and decided to bring our son with them so he could have the day with his cousins and when they picked him up we told them it seemed like something might be happening and if they could plan to keep him for the day and possibly overnight and we'd keep them posted. We let them know when we headed to the hospital and then they didn't hear from us again until later that night when baby was here and we were ready for visitors! That being said, both my labours were pretty fast and furious once they got going so there was never a lot of time to keep people updated on where we were at... It was basically "this might be it" to "baby is here!" in no time.
@KatyF0813 where do I sign up for one of those?? Hehe.
I know it's weird, but I went back to our gender reveal thread and I got emotional thinking about how long we've been chatting here! You ladies are amazing! To be honest, as a FTM, I feel like I've learned so much. I know it's the internet, and there's stranger danger and all that, but my experience sharing my pregnancy here has been nothing but positive!
Also I LOL' ed at all the randoms who just posted "it's a girl/boy!" then ghosted. And I got sad to think that others may have left because something went wrong although life happens and I know it's hard to keep up with this stuff sometimes.
Anyways, just wanted to share some love! Just trained the new huy for 2 hours and talked non stop - pregnancy really makes you out of breath quickly!
@kissableviv just want to give a heads up. I ended up seeing a therapist and talking a great deal after I had DD about the grief I felt from loosing my former relationship with my husband. We have a great foundation but it hit me harder then I was prepared for. Honestly part of me had some jealousy issues of the baby and that she was getting the care I use to get from him. It’s hard to explain. Because of course I knew he needed to love on her and take care of her.
Thanks @elizabethrn87. We don't think it will be a walk in the park. But we have done all we could to reduce our stress and maximize the help from the parents, we traveled a bunch in the past year and enjoyed each other as much as possible so hopefully we are at least starting on the right foot, while being prepared for things to go South. If that's the case then the hope is that we'll have the right tools to deal with the situation.
So since I had to be induced with dd I don't really know what early labor/ true labor feels like since pitocin contractions suck. I am wondering if I am though. I have been losing parts of mucus plug all day I think and with the nausea and general crampiness I kind of wonder. Haha I feel so stupid since I'm a stm though. I also feel silly since I have no idea if im having true contractions or if i can even time them. also i would like this baby to cook another few days.
Another one of my yoga moms had her baby. On her due date, FTM, small baby and marginal cord insertion! I know it means nothing but it freaks me out. I better finish that training asap...
Also she had to wait 10 hours to get to l&d and she went an hour after her water broke...so apparently it does get pretty busy in the summer and I should trust my OB on that in case my water breaks.
Ok, need you ladies to talk me off the bout to freak out ledge I'm on. Talked to DH about plans for after DS gets here. He wants to take 2 weeks pto right after, sounds great to me, so then he asks when his parents can come, I mention how I don't want what happened last time with DD to repeat, he acts all clueless about what a disaster it was. I'll include all the details in a spoiler cause it's gonna be a novel rant I need to get off my chest.
MIL came day DD was born, as did my immediate family, but they're local so they were in and out in 1 hour visits. We said she could stay at our place and help take care of our pets. Well she ends up at the hospital all the time and sends DH back because she "doesn't do litter boxes" so I end up having my mom take the pets with her. MIL finally leaves the morning we're getting discharged, my mom stops by my apartment to get more dog food and finds MIL left our place kind of messed up, like everything she used is left on counters, dirty towels left in bathroom, etc. So my mom and sister cleaned my apartment before we got home with new baby, luckily I only found that out now or I'd have been pissed at MIL for a long while. So my mom stays 2 weeks after DD is born cause I had kinda a rough recovery, and she is the glue that held me together, let me sleep between feedings, cooked and cleaned. MIL then comes, brings my FIL for 2 days, but he has to go back to take care of his elderly mother, MIL plans to stay rest of the week "to help".DH has to go back to work at this point. It's like a freaking light switch once DH and FIL are gone. She starts insisting on doing everything "her way", insists we go out to lunch every day cause she was going out 2 weeks pp so I should be too, and she hates cooking and cleaning anyways. All she does to "help" is hold DD while she's sleeping and read me articles supporting her views on parenting and occasionally start the laundry and dishwasher, which is admittedly more than she does at her house. So after 4 days of that I'm so stressed I get an infection and end up going to the ER I'm in so much pain. I finally insist DH send her home. So that was the disaster last time. She kept doing some of the same stuff over the years and we've had 2 "family meetings" about it, and she always claims she's just going through a stressful time, usually related to her daughter from first marriage, and she'll work on it. I've also come to accept that part of this is just her personality and I have to put up with some of it, but I need to develop stricter boundaries and learn to say no even when she whines and pouts about something.
So jump to now, she's wanting to come next week "to help" and asking when she's coming after DS gets here. I relent and let her come 2 nights next week, thinking it'll be nice to have someone around if I go into labor, as my last labor was super fast. So then I want to finalize plans with DH for after DS gets here. I go ahead and mention I don't want his mom till at least 3 weeks pp and preferably later if FIL can't come with her. And I'd rather she stay in a hotel if she wants to see DS right after he's born so my mom can keep DD and all our pets at our house. He gets all offended at this and asks why can't everyone stay at our house. I know that dynamic won't work and tell him so, cause I know my mom won't put up with MIL's shit and I want to avoid a family fight. He says my mom, DD, and pets can just stay at my grandmother's so his mom can stay at our house to see baby boy right after he's born. I say I'll suggest that to my mom, but I'm kinda annoyed at his attitude. Then he says he wants it to just be us and the kids right after the hospital for the 2 weeks he's off and not have my mom come. I think he's hurt I asked for his mom not to come till I'm about 4 weeks recovered and can basically do everything myself. He's never had to take care of our daughter plus all the daily house managing except for a handful of times I've been sick. Sure, he'll have DD all day sometimes, but he doesn't have to cook, clean, take care of pets, all that at the same time. The one weekend I left him alone with DD our house was a disaster when I got back and they only ate fast food. He totally doesn't realize all I do as a SAHM to keep our family running. And I feel like 2 weeks without my mom staying some is gonna be a disaster. Sure, I want some time with just us and the kids, but I'd prefer to not get so sleep deprived this time too.
So I guess 2 separate but related issues going on, the MIL drama and the after baby plans. Sorry for the novel, but you ladies are my only sounding board besides my mom and sister, and I am having some serious anxiety over this. Any advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.
@lindsayleigh1989 My water broke with DD, so I'm afraid I won't know I'm in labor too, but my dr gave me great advice today: for a normal risk birth 3-4 contractions that increase in intensity and you have to breathe or stop and focus on that don't go away after drinking a good amount of water, changing position, and going to the bathroom. If you do all 3 and still have increasing contractions call or head to hospital was his advice, but so far mine go away after water, lying on left side, and going to the bathroom. Hope you get some relief from your symptoms though, I did that for 2 weeks before my daughter came, so I know how awful it is.
@lindsayleigh1989 was going to ask the same. Been having regular, timetable contractions now for the past 2+ hours. But I was 4 days late with the other two so I'm worried maybe I'm just having strong BH? Some are pretty painful and they are in my back as well. I've peed about 10x in the past two hours and even pooped a little (sorry if TMI). My doc follows the 511 rule so I'm pretty much meeting that, but it's the middle of the night so I'm worried about causing an uproar if it's not real! Sorry no advice, but let's keep each other posted!!!!
It's 230am here... havent slept yet. Will be exhausted tomorrow
@lindsayleigh1989 same here! I never went into labor and probably only got a glimpy if what timeable contractions with DS. Right now the pressure is intense while standing, cramping so much in any position (but worse standing), nausea and these nonsty BMs! I do occasion have to stop what I’m doing or focus (contraction i guess) but nothing with a pattern. I haven’t really lost much of my MP (lots of discharge though), but i lost it with DS and it didn’t lead to labor anyways. Idk I’m in limbo.
@rkk0002 wow how stressful! I can kinda relate though to both side of the argument. With DS my parents felt like my “rules” were ridiculous and that family shouldn’t have to follow them because it’s not part of our culture. My mom is always willing to help but will usually end up with a price (big fights, judgments, etc). My H has a hard time with her because of it all. Because of how i was raised I sometimes have a hard time setting boundaries with my mom. So anyways, with DS each of our parents “helped” for about 3 days but each at their own time. My mom was second and she was upset because of it being her first grandchild and all. This time around my mil isn’t making a real effort to come early (which bothered H a bit). She has no set date but think she’ll wait at least a month. I’m guessing she just doesn’t want to “help”. I’m fine with whatever as long as they don’t come to drink and smoke pot all the time like they did for Christmas. My mom will be coming first for a week but mostly while I’m at the hospital. She’ll be helping with DS and I won’t have to put up with drama at home. I still haven’t shared my ”rules” but I’m sure she won’t like them again. After my mom, my sister comes for a week, then followed by Hs brother for another week. I have concerns about my SIL though. She keeps posting things about her road trip vacation and relaxing. And they have a very free spirited (loud) almost 5 year old. I keep telling H to remind them of the expectation of their visit. They are here to help, not be hosted or expect to just visit like we are a hotel. So we’ll see how that goes. Anyways, my point is that it is a tough situation and i have also had disagreements with H regarding the level of help we each think we need early on. He’s not the kind to ask and would just like to do it on his own. Because of the experience with DS i straight up told him that if i feel we need the help i will ask and get it. I am not suffering again because of his pride. I am trying to be understanding to all but ultimately I will be the one holding all the stress with a c section recovery. Maybe outline your ideal plan and share with your H. Sometimes they need to see things written/broken down. I created a calendar for H so we were on the same page for help, visitors, and work.
@lindsayleigh1989@WorkinWeezel I hope things calmed down or got obvious so you could sleep or have a baby! Contractions are so hard! I was induced both times too so I have no idea what will happen if I go on my own, but my contractions started as a bloating intense PMS feeling, like when I have indigestion after drinking coffee when I'm on my period or right before. Then they start to hurt. I always thought I would know, but plenty of people say they had no idea they were having contractions before shit got real so who knows?
@lindsayleigh1989 I completely understand... I was induced with my first and this pregnancy has been so different! I dont know if I'm starting to truly progress in to labor or if it is me overreading everything/symptom.
@lindsayleigh1989 saaaaame. I’ve been having timeable contractions a few times a day for the past week, but I don’t feel like they’re doing anything I have way less pressure than I did with DS, so I’m thinking she might not even engage until I’m in labor. Either way, idk if I’ll know I’m in labor until my water breaks- DH seems to think that’s when labor starts too.
@rkk0002 your MIL sounds like how mine would have been had I known her 15 years ago. I don’t think she’s ever picked up a cleaning product in her adult life. That sucks that she feels entitled to stay over and not help. Do what you have to do to stay sane after baby!
All these IL stories make me grateful that mine are so hands off. With DS they didn’t pretend to want to help us, but they only visited once in the hospital and once at home, and brought Pepe’s pizza. So I’m cool with it. My mom on the other hand “helps” by reorganizing my pantry and cooking awful food, I don’t mind it and DH is too passive to care- though he’ll be the first to complain about her awful cooking.
Do guys forget we’re recovering from giving birth? Be it by major surgery or physically pushing a baby out of our body, the last thing we want is to deal with people that are even the least bit annoying on a normal day.
I’m planning on going to the beach with DS today, he’ll play in the sand for hours if I let him. It’ll be a good day I think. Hoping to get a cervix check at my appt today and do lots of walking later now that the heat let up a little bit. DS was born 8 days early, and I’ll hit that on Sunday if I’m counting by my LMP. We’re so so so close!
Trying to catch up but I’ve gotten really behind with work craziness and whatnot. To those with maybe contractions/labor symptoms, I hope either your annoying symptoms let up, or it leads to a baby!
Heading in to see the midwife soon and still somewhat debating whether or not to ask for a sweep. I’m 37 weeks today and would love to go into labor on my own at 38 weeks before they start pressuring me to induce at 39. Also I can’t seem to get my sugars under control so I’m getting scared the MFM might push induction even earlier than 39. My hesitation with the sweep is it can cause PROM in which case I could end up with pitocon. Sooo I’m a little torn.
@rkk0002 honestly then I would make a huge list of all your dh is going to need to do every day for you to enlighten him. I think you can frame it as either my mom comes and does the hard stuff so you can bond with the baby or you have to do it all.
I went into labor on my own. I think the important thing to remember is that there are multiple stages of labor and there is no time frame on when you will transition to each one. It sounds like many of you are in early labor which could last awhile. In very early labor, contractions are sporadic and no really pattern. You will know when the time is getting closer because contractions will be more consistent. I remember contractions coming every 30 minutes for five hours. Then they were about every 20 minutes, then ten... as they got closer together, they got more intense. So once things got going, I never reverted back to contractions being sporadic. My doula would always say that you won’t ever be sure right away, you have to wait until you continue to progress to know for sure. Hope that helps. I think you will all know when it happens.
RE: In laws...I think someone else said it but it is like people forget that the mother needs to recover from child birth. The arguments stem from grandparents getting to see the baby. They should be arguing who takes care of mom and family. So irritating. There is an article (https://www.hmcmagazine.com/paper-plate-recovery-childbirth/) about why women need to heal after childbirth. For those who don’t feel like reading it, it shows a photo of a paper plate which is the size of your wound from where the placenta connects to your uterus. The point is, even if you do not see wounds, it doesn’t mean that mom doesn’t need to heal. @rkk0002 Does DH really want two weeks with just his family or does he not want your mom there because his mom can’t come? I get it if he really wants two weeks with you and family...having someone else in the mix bothers me. I prefer no visitors so I get it. Maybe try to make that argument that you will need to be taken care of and ask him if he is willing to do that and keep house for the two weeks. I didn’t have anyone stay with me and DH helped out enough. I had to ask him to do stuff and point to messes, but he pitched in. My DH trashes the house when I am away too but when I am there to ask for help, he will...maybe not as well if I did it myself but he helped. If DH will not help and doesn’t want your mom there, then tell him how much it will cost for a post partum doula, house cleaner, and take out meals. Have those services researched and on stand by so if he drops the ball, you will call in for help and either pay for it. Hope you two can work it out.
Also been lurking..I’ve been mobile this whole time and also get overwhelmed trying to tag everyone but I try to love tit as well.
+1 for the 4moms tub. I’m also super paranoid about water temp (we had an old city apartment) so it really eased our minds.
Its been a wild few weeks. Some sporadic family drama mixed with house reno drama..we’ve been installing floors and our guy cancelled last minute on us 2 weeks in a row..making it immediately obvious they’d never get done with him on the job, so we had to switch to someone else and they’ve been great and coming every day but I still worry he won’t finish on time, the last room is our bedroom..(was our first but we’re having to pull up the floor and start over - 1st contractor issue)..we’ve also had a king size bed we’ve bought but haven’t been able to set up for the above reasons, also the crib and all the baby things aren’t yet down from the attack because we have no where to put them as we’ve had furniture all over the house as each room gets done..I’ve had issues with amazon orders, I still need to wash all our old baby clothes..
AND, went to my normal appt yesterday, baby had a high heart rate. NP checked 3 times during our appt before sending me for a NST which also started high and then settled down but then they decided to admit me for observation to be on the safe side..I had a BPP which was perfect, heart rate was still back to normal but then they showed I was having contractions at one point 2-3 minutes apart and I couldn’t feel a thing..they spread out again and finally decided to send me home until this morning when I woke up from a dead sleep with a contraction in my lower back. I about died. None since thank god and it was only just the one but definitely starting to think I might not make it to July, which is new for me since I went 10 days over and had to be induced last time...now I’m over here just hoping to get to 38 weeks!
Good luck to everyone experiencing labor symptoms. I posted yesterday about losing my MP, back pain, cramping and contractions but everything has eased up and I feel great again. I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty disappointed.
To everyone struggling with the overbearing ILs and parents, we were "blessed" with BOTH who also get incredibly jealous of one another. I feel like I am juggling a bunch of cranky toddlers when they are all around. I didn't want to give out my induction date to anyone but my husband is self-employed and works with his Dad so he had to give him the date. They are also already arguing over who gets to keep DS while I am in labor.
With my induction date looming, DD will be here in 5-6 days and we STILL do not have a name. FML.
I'm honestly in shock over how many have in law and or family issues! This has never even crossed my mind! I was in the labor room (but not for delivery) with 2 of my sisters so I'm kinda expecting the same as long as I feel up to it. But none of my family is overbearing and they are all great about respecting boundaries. There is no way my in laws will show up to the hospital without being invited. But my family will probably be in the waiting room if its during the day (as they were with my sisters).
I'm nervous about my appointment this afternoon! This will be the first time I see my dr since my urine labs came back elevated and I've been taking my BP at home. It's been mostly good with a couple higher readings that come down after sitting a couple minutes. I'm kinda expecting her to recommend an early induction, so I'm trying to come to terms. I didn't want an induction, but the planner in me thinks it might be nice to have a date?
Me: 31 DH: 34 Married: April 2016 TTC December 2016 BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17 MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017 BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18 TTC January 2019 BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
Ugh so I never even had a chance to discuss membrane sweeping, baby’s heat rate was high for a second time in a row so now I’m in labor and delivery for more monitoring, a biophysical profile, and possibly fluids (dehydration could be causing it, but I don’t feel dehydrated and I drink plenty of water).
Re: Weekday Randoms 6/18
@kbernal2021 sorry about your dog. :-(
@kissableviv totally normal to mourn the loss of a "previous life", or feel sad about the anticipated change. More than getting married, kids really change your life. My mom tried to make me feel guilty about feelings like that after DD was born but I didn't fall for it. Just soak in the peace, the snuggles, and the alone time while you can. It doesn't mean you aren't going to also enjoy the slight chaos of your first child any less. :-)
I have no details, but my Ob just left a VM and said after consulting with high risk, hematology and anesthesia they’re scheduling my CS 6/28 at 38+1! No explanation why.
I’m in total shock. I now have less than a week to wrap things up at work - and to make sure my team of 125 peeps and major projects don’t fall apart while I’m MIA. Holy crap
I am literally so close to being done with my last project before maternity leave I can taste it! This is the last full project I have to complete, after that I just help out where I can until I pop. I also forgot my headphones today so I haven't really been able to goof off as much as usual by cutting myself off from everyone and "looking busy". Now I actually have to be busy.
@pretzellover eep! Excited for you too. I hope you get an explanation as to why though and that all the loose strings come together nicely!
@kissableviv I have feelings like that too even though this is my 3rd. I keep thinking “our life was perfect before, I shouldn’t have fixed something that wasn’t broken” but I felt like we needed a caboose and my DD wasn’t it. It’s a big adjustment for everyone, but it’s a good adjustment too! Date nights and alone time is REALLY Important to me and DH so it doesn’t have to be the end of the things that the two of you enjoy! Once you figure everything out and things settle down, you won’t wish it any other way!
I agree with all of you and I know you may have similar feelings about adding another child to your mix, so it's nice to feel supported. I know for a fact DH and I will have a different relationship but I am positive that we have a solid foundation and hopefully that will make the obstacles a little easier. I shared how I feel with him and he totally understands and feels similarly so we are definitely soaking in these days and taking it one day at a time rather than getting anxious about "impeding doom" (easier said that done
My mom will def be ok with us going out while she stays here (before baby) I set her up with Sling TV and some Italian channels so she won't feel too out of the loop - my stepdad won't be here until July 31st so she'll be fully immersed into American culture! She has never been here this long, so I am also trying to be sensitive to her situation. Once the baby is here I think she will only have eyes for him, and I am pretty ok with that! I can count on the IL to help more with logistical stuff, driving us around, getting groceries, etc.
@pretzellover OMG! Sending you all the good vibes! I know it's a bit scary right now, but I guess at least they have a plan?? Nicely done with the VM...and work...well...you do what you can and they'll have to survive! Health first!
@catftm2018 good luck with the induction!!
@flockofmoosen3 I am having dreams daily about delivering this baby too and crazy induction stuff, I think it's because a few of us are having the babies now and so it's been on my mind, but he needs to cook until the 29th at least!
+1 to the overbearing in law's and family. My MIL has already told me she plans to wait in the waiting room while I'm being induced. I haven't told many family members the date I will be going in and the ones that do know the date do not know the time. I told my DH when they are all looking for updates that I want him to let them know they can come after DS has had a chance to meet his baby sister before anyone else. While I have voiced this many times over the last several months none of them think it's a big deal for them to be there and meet the baby first. I have already told my husband that our son will be the first even if it means the hospital staff turns my family away. Not super close with my mom, and she hasn't asked about a date because she got her feelings hurt I wouldn't allow her in the delivery room with DS. So she bothered to not want details this time which is perfectly fine by me as harsh as it sounds.
Also THANK YOU ladies for all of your support and encouragement regarding our sweet dog. It's been a challenging time to say the least with very full plates but seriously hoping and praying things level out a bit for us once DD is born and before we have to list the house and worry about a move.
I refused to tell anyone when I was induced with my first because I didn't want people waiting in the waiting room. I thought it would make me too anxious and more likely to "give in" to interventions that I didn't want.
@catftm2018 Good luck! I hope it's going as smoothly as possible. Can't wait to hear about your little one!
@catftm2018 thinking of you! Fx to an easish labor and birth!!
@pretzellover Oh my! How exciting!!! Something my boss said to me lastnight after I expressed to him I feel bad for leaving him and my team hanging with a pending launch; he said having a baby and experiencing this is more important and takes priority than any job or other responsibilities. Your team and job will figure it out!
Trying to catch up more on all the threads. I'm still being more of a lurker lately. Just not feeling so hot and social. Ready for this baby to be here already, even though I have about 4 more weeks. I go on leave next Friday. I'm just done. Exhausted. Mentally unable to focus more than 20-30 minutes. Lacking sleep in the most ridiculous way.
Had some homeless man come to our door this morning asking to give me a massage in exchange for money. Our security screen was locked, thank God. The dogs were so aggressive with their barking, it made me feel a bit more safe, in some weird way. Told the guy to go away however he lingered a little. Once he was gone, i called the police. It's just me and my step dad, who has dementia. Everyone else is at work. I dont want to imagine what would have happened if my step dad went to the door and dealt with this guy. He is too nice and naive. It could have ended differently. Major plus to having the nextdoor app and ring doorbell. I posted the encounter on nextdoor and a few of the neighbors were even updating where this guy was. As well as 2 of them getting in their cars to patrol our neighborhood. My sister posted the video from ring, so everyone knew what the guy looked like. It took the police 2 hours to show up and do an area check. Trying to explain to my step dad that we need to stay inside and keep the doors locked was the hardest part all of this. He didnt want to come inside at all (he likes to sit out on the front porch swing during the day). He also likes to use the side gate to walk in and out of. Dementia is no joke. Having to explain to him 6-7 times why his safety is improtant is exhausting.
Off to take a nap...
I honestly hadn’t thought about it until reading some of your stories, because we didn’t live by either family when I gave birth to DD.
Now I’m living with my in-laws for the summer and I guess I should bring it up? They are going to be watching DD while I give birth, so obviously they will come to the hospital with her so she can meet the new baby. But how soon is too soon? I really want space, especially if DH doesn’t make it back to town in time. Because his family is kind of overwhelming when he’s not there as a buffer. And I really enjoyed breastfeeding without coverage last time I stayed at the hospital but can’t do that in front of my in-laws.
@emsnedds I would say whatever you are comfortable with. Our good friends are keeping DS while we are at the hospital so they will meet the baby when DS does, however I have already expressed that I would like them to give us a little time just the 4 of us as well. They said they would drop off DS and give us all the time we wanted/ needed before picking him up. I would say be open with your IL's about what your wanting in terms of space and time with your DD and relay that same plan to your DH so he can advocate when your not able to.
@emsnedds i have yet to tell my parents that they won’t be able to see me until the next day. That’s when they’ll bring DS too. They probably won’t like the idea (again) but oh well! I can at least FaceTime them. With DS we didn’t allow anyone until the next day and it was time because of the amount of visitors. This time i don’t think we’ll time it since all family and friends live out of town. Sone hospital d have a quiet time so that’s a good time to use as an excuse to not have anyone there (even if it’s not fully enforced).
@d_marie_23 My OB is ‘special’. I forwarded my husband the VM and he can’t stop laughing at how ridiculous & unprofessional it is. Finally connected with her and Bc they need blood & platelet transfusions ready for my general anesthesia CS, they said they couldn’t risk me going into labor so 38w it is.
@lindsayleigh1989 @kissableviv @hillbillywife @flockofmoosen3 Thank you guys and good luck to you too!
Can’t believe so many of us are at the end (or a new beginning)! Definitely going to make lists, do my best to get it all done, and be glad it takes my mind off the CS for a few more days!
I know it's weird, but I went back to our gender reveal thread and I got emotional thinking about how long we've been chatting here! You ladies are amazing! To be honest, as a FTM, I feel like I've learned so much. I know it's the internet, and there's stranger danger and all that, but my experience sharing my pregnancy here has been nothing but positive!
Also I LOL' ed at all the randoms who just posted "it's a girl/boy!" then ghosted. And I got sad to think that others may have left because something went wrong
Anyways, just wanted to share some love! Just trained the new huy for 2 hours and talked non stop - pregnancy really makes you out of breath quickly!
them. also i would like this baby to cook another few days.
Also she had to wait 10 hours to get to l&d and she went an hour after her water broke...so apparently it does get pretty busy in the summer and I should trust my OB on that in case my water breaks.
So jump to now, she's wanting to come next week "to help" and asking when she's coming after DS gets here. I relent and let her come 2 nights next week, thinking it'll be nice to have someone around if I go into labor, as my last labor was super fast. So then I want to finalize plans with DH for after DS gets here. I go ahead and mention I don't want his mom till at least 3 weeks pp and preferably later if FIL can't come with her. And I'd rather she stay in a hotel if she wants to see DS right after he's born so my mom can keep DD and all our pets at our house. He gets all offended at this and asks why can't everyone stay at our house. I know that dynamic won't work and tell him so, cause I know my mom won't put up with MIL's shit and I want to avoid a family fight. He says my mom, DD, and pets can just stay at my grandmother's so his mom can stay at our house to see baby boy right after he's born. I say I'll suggest that to my mom, but I'm kinda annoyed at his attitude. Then he says he wants it to just be us and the kids right after the hospital for the 2 weeks he's off and not have my mom come. I think he's hurt I asked for his mom not to come till I'm about 4 weeks recovered and can basically do everything myself. He's never had to take care of our daughter plus all the daily house managing except for a handful of times I've been sick. Sure, he'll have DD all day sometimes, but he doesn't have to cook, clean, take care of pets, all that at the same time. The one weekend I left him alone with DD our house was a disaster when I got back and they only ate fast food. He totally doesn't realize all I do as a SAHM to keep our family running. And I feel like 2 weeks without my mom staying some is gonna be a disaster. Sure, I want some time with just us and the kids, but I'd prefer to not get so sleep deprived this time too.
So I guess 2 separate but related issues going on, the MIL drama and the after baby plans. Sorry for the novel, but you ladies are my only sounding board besides my mom and sister, and I am having some serious anxiety over this. Any advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.
It's 230am here... havent slept yet. Will be exhausted tomorrow
Married: 6/27/2008
DS: 3/14/2010 Planned, PG first try
M/C 6/2012
DD: 4/22/2013 Planned, UnDx Infertility, PG on our own
BFP: 10/28/2016 Unplanned, HUGE SURPRISE!
M/C 12/12/2016
BFP: 10/27/2017 Unplanned, HUGE SURPRISE
EDD: 7/2/2018
@rkk0002 your MIL sounds like how mine would have been had I known her 15 years ago. I don’t think she’s ever picked up a cleaning product in her adult life. That sucks that she feels entitled to stay over and not help. Do what you have to do to stay sane after baby!
All these IL stories make me grateful that mine are so hands off. With DS they didn’t pretend to want to help us, but they only visited once in the hospital and once at home, and brought Pepe’s pizza. So I’m cool with it. My mom on the other hand “helps” by reorganizing my pantry and cooking awful food, I don’t mind it and DH is too passive to care- though he’ll be the first to complain about her awful cooking.
Do guys forget we’re recovering from giving birth? Be it by major surgery or physically pushing a baby out of our body, the last thing we want is to deal with people that are even the least bit annoying on a normal day.
I’m planning on going to the beach with DS today, he’ll play in the sand for hours if I let him. It’ll be a good day I think. Hoping to get a cervix check at my appt today and do lots of walking later now that the heat let up a little bit. DS was born 8 days early, and I’ll hit that on Sunday if I’m counting by my LMP. We’re so so so close!
Heading in to see the midwife soon and still somewhat debating whether or not to ask for a sweep. I’m 37 weeks today and would love to go into labor on my own at 38 weeks before they start pressuring me to induce at 39. Also I can’t seem to get my sugars under control so I’m getting scared the MFM might push induction even earlier than 39. My hesitation with the sweep is it can cause PROM in which case I could end up with pitocon. Sooo I’m a little torn.
RE: In laws...I think someone else said it but it is like people forget that the mother needs to recover from child birth. The arguments stem from grandparents getting to see the baby. They should be arguing who takes care of mom and family. So irritating. There is an article (https://www.hmcmagazine.com/paper-plate-recovery-childbirth/) about why women need to heal after childbirth. For those who don’t feel like reading it, it shows a photo of a paper plate which is the size of your wound from where the placenta connects to your uterus. The point is, even if you do not see wounds, it doesn’t mean that mom doesn’t need to heal. @rkk0002 Does DH really want two weeks with just his family or does he not want your mom there because his mom can’t come? I get it if he really wants two weeks with you and family...having someone else in the mix bothers me. I prefer no visitors so I get it. Maybe try to make that argument that you will need to be taken care of and ask him if he is willing to do that and keep house for the two weeks. I didn’t have anyone stay with me and DH helped out enough. I had to ask him to do stuff and point to messes, but he pitched in. My DH trashes the house when I am away too but when I am there to ask for help, he will...maybe not as well if I did it myself but he helped. If DH will not help and doesn’t want your mom there, then tell him how much it will cost for a post partum doula, house cleaner, and take out meals. Have those services researched and on stand by so if he drops the ball, you will call in for help and either pay for it. Hope you two can work it out.
+1 for the 4moms tub. I’m also super paranoid about water temp (we had an old city apartment) so it really eased our minds.
Its been a wild few weeks. Some sporadic family drama mixed with house reno drama..we’ve been installing floors and our guy cancelled last minute on us 2 weeks in a row..making it immediately obvious they’d never get done with him on the job, so we had to switch to someone else and they’ve been great and coming every day but I still worry he won’t finish on time, the last room is our bedroom..(was our first but we’re having to pull up the floor and start over - 1st contractor issue)..we’ve also had a king size bed we’ve bought but haven’t been able to set up for the above reasons, also the crib and all the baby things aren’t yet down from the attack because we have no where to put them as we’ve had furniture all over the house as each room gets done..I’ve had issues with amazon orders, I still need to wash all our old baby clothes..
AND, went to my normal appt yesterday, baby had a high heart rate. NP checked 3 times during our appt before sending me for a NST which also started high and then settled down but then they decided to admit me for observation to be on the safe side..I had a BPP which was perfect, heart rate was still back to normal but then they showed I was having contractions at one point 2-3 minutes apart and I couldn’t feel a thing..they spread out again and finally decided to send me home until this morning when I woke up from a dead sleep with a contraction in my lower back. I about died. None since thank god and it was only just the one but definitely starting to think I might not make it to July, which is new for me since I went 10 days over and had to be induced last time...now I’m over here just hoping to get to 38 weeks!
Good luck to everyone experiencing labor symptoms. I posted yesterday about losing my MP, back pain, cramping and contractions but everything has eased up and I feel great again. I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty disappointed.
To everyone struggling with the overbearing ILs and parents, we were "blessed" with BOTH who also get incredibly jealous of one another. I feel like I am juggling a bunch of cranky toddlers when they are all around. I didn't want to give out my induction date to anyone but my husband is self-employed and works with his Dad so he had to give him the date. They are also already arguing over who gets to keep DS while I am in labor.
With my induction date looming, DD will be here in 5-6 days and we STILL do not have a name. FML.
I'm nervous about my appointment this afternoon! This will be the first time I see my dr since my urine labs came back elevated and I've been taking my BP at home. It's been mostly good with a couple higher readings that come down after sitting a couple minutes. I'm kinda expecting her to recommend an early induction, so I'm trying to come to terms. I didn't want an induction, but the planner in me thinks it might be nice to have a date?
TTC December 2016
BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17
MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017
BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18
TTC January 2019
BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
I had strange dreams all night and am grouchy today.