UO 5/17

chopchop25

Kicking this off this morning because there must be some lurking around here....

knottieamusements

Oh no!  That is worse.  

knottieamusements

Whoops!  Talk about Baby Brain...  I thought I was texting a friend...

sammierose464

@knottieamusements I had to resist laughing out loud at that one

chopchop25

Hahaha! 

chopchop25

Alright I'm gonna throw a potentially UO out there, then.

I thought the lurking from earlier this week (crap, now I can't even remember if it was this week) was a bit weird. Posting as a lurker, in general, unless your a doc or professional or super well versed in the field seems weird to me (aside from the general congrats, support, etc arena.)
I've done it once on another sunscreen thread because no one there was sharing any experience, but even then I was thinking 'meh, they could have googled it and figured it out.' But there generally seems to be enough well-rounded debate on opinion/personal preference based topics that it comes weird to stomp into a room and assert your opinion.

sammierose464

@chopchop25 I agree and I'm pretty sure I know which one you're talking about. That person has done it before, and I'm sure it won't be the last... I feel like providing advice is one thing. When you come in on a controversial topic and assert your opinion it comes off kind of poor.

Lisa3379

There is no topic more uninteresting to me than the royal wedding. Who cares. 

knottieamusements

I’m with you guys on that particular lurker.  We were already having a pretty well-rounded discussion on the issue.  I honestly didn’t understand why someone who isn’t active in our group would feel the need to put down on it - especially since the rest of us are like “this is for me, whatever goes for you” and that person was like “I’m totally judging the people who don’t share my viewpoint, even though I’m claiming not to judge them.”

SawyerRichardson

@chopchop25 and @sammierose464 I agree and was thinking about posting something similar but wasn't sure how to word it. Everytime I see the username I roll my eyes.

mytrueloves

I think posting on a BMB that isn't yours is just weird in general. 

kiwi2628

@chopchop25 agreed totally, especially when your opinion and arguing is based on hyperbolic and scare tactic 'facts' rather than...you know...actual facts

mytrueloves

I didn't know we had a history with that particular poster though. Did I miss something?

chopchop25

Boy am I glad I'm not alone. It seriously was eating at me earlier this week.
For me, it wasn't even about the specific poster - I don't know enough about that person to have an opinion - but it was just the whole notion of it, and then messaging (which, I guess, is then about the poster.)

sammierose464

I almost called that one out in our randoms post because it irked me. I've only really skimmed that thread in general because I feel pretty set on my opinions when it comes to hospital vs birthing center.

princessandthegator

@chopchop25 @knottieamusements I feel like I don't tell you ladies enough how much I love when you comment on boards. I commented on that past one and never looked again...and reading it now to catch up made my preggo hormones cray cray.

How are you going to jump onto another BMB, drop a grenade of an opinion, and then be mad because other women are defending themselves

pajamstagrams

I've lurked on other BMBs on topics that specifically apply to a personal experience of mine, and offered facts/experience without pushing an agenda. In my case, OP could have been a drive by poster/troll (based on the board members comments and lack of follow up from OP), but in case it wasn't, I felt like I should share my thoughts since her particular situation was potentially very dangerous for her health and she needed to see a doctor ASAP. But yeah, coming in a room and barging in with a strong controversial opinion is a little much.

ninji15

Ah this makes me sad I havent had much time to lurk on here. Its been a hell of a couple weeks and it looks like I missed quite a few things! 

My UO pet "parents" that act like they are just as good as parents of actual humans annoy me more than they probably should. Yesss I love my pets but its nothing compared to my kid. I can leave my cats a week with a food bowl, litter box, and water bowl. I cannot do that with my toddler.

Also to add: I know also there are some people who want children and act this way because they can't have them and that makes me feel guilty but I still get annoyed. (Apologies if this has been covered already since I am struggling to keep up with everything.)

chopchop25

@ninji15 I'm an obsessive pet parent, and realize it's nothing similar to being a human parent (especially for the first few years), and think it's almost like comparing apples/oranges. I'll be curious to see if and how my perspective changes once I have a child.
One of my dogs is on six meds a day and in severe pain without any way of communicating what's wrong. It's not trying to raise a newborn child, but it is its own set of extremely difficult and emotional challenges surrounding this living creature that has loved me unconditionally through some very hard times.
I don't think I'd ever preach from the rafters that I know what it's like or that I'd be an awesome person parent because of how I care for my dog, but I also am not going to sell myself short on the amount of care I do give to her or the amount of my heart she currently holds.

krzyriver

Did I miss some excitement this week?!

chopchop25

@krzyriver - I wouldn't call it too much excitement, but last 1/2 of the last page of the Doula thread for some pretty vocal opinions.

knottieamusements

@krzyriver - It was over in the hospital v birthing center thread. 

Amusingly- it was still very polite excitement.  I don’t think our board provides much entertainment for lurkers from other boards...

ninji15

chopchop25 said:

@ninji15 I'm an obsessive pet parent, and realize it's nothing similar to being a human parent (especially for the first few years), and think it's almost like comparing apples/oranges. I'll be curious to see if and how my perspective changes once i have a child.
One of my dogs is on six meds a day and in severe pain without any way of communicating what's wrong. It's not trying to raise a newborn child, but it is its own set of extremely difficult and emotional challenges surrounding this living creature that has loved me unconditionally through some very hard times.
I don't think I'd ever preach from the rafters that I know what it's like or that I'd be an awesome person parent because of how I care for my dog, but I also am not going to sell myself short on the amount of care I do give to her or the amount of my heart she currently holds.

I respect all that you do immensely! I know that owning and taking care of another living thing that you love (and that loves you back) has many challenges. I guess I get more annoyed-ish like when I am saying oh I was up all night with a teething baby and someone chimes in that their dog woke them up to be let outside so they are just as tired as I am. A situation like yours I am more understanding toward, and it doesn't sound like you try to compare the two really.

chopchop25

@ninji15 ohhh yeah. Lack of sleep with newborn > howling dog. I think I tend to immediately have a reaction to some of those statements (not yours, specifically, just in general) because I feel that people undersell what it takes to take care of a pet sometimes, especially one with needs.

Appreciate the perspective and response! 
<runs home to snuggle puppy>

Also there's leftover sandwiches upstairs and I WANT ONE.

krzyriver

Man, I feel like I’ve missed a lot recently! But yeah, that wasn’t as exciting as I was hoping for. Lol. I have lurked and posted in other BMBs but rarely. Why but in on a tight knit group just to insert your opinion that no one asked for?

knottieamusements

chopchop25 said:

Also there's leftover sandwiches upstairs and I WANT ONE.

You can have my M&M cookie.  My eyes were bigger than my stomach at lunch, and now it is sitting on my desk taunting me.  

DunkinDecaf

Yeah I had to bite my tongue pretty hard on that one. I was proud of myself, actually. Letting things go is not my thing, and I feel quite strongly about hospital birth and the importance of medical intervention.

My UO is I seriously hate hashtags. I get their usefulness in sorting posts but seriously how often are they actually used for that purpose? I’d guess less than 5% of the time. I know communication and language are ever evolving things but the way hashtags have changed our casual writing and descriptive habits really irritates me.

SawyerRichardson

I tried La Croix for the first time today and it was disgusting.

chopchop25

@knottieamusements scored a steak sandwich, some scalloped potatoes, cold couscous salad, and a cookie. And stole some sun chips for H (his favorite.) This is a dynamite second lunch.

mytrueloves

@NiniJ55 I agree with you. Look, I'm an obsessive pet parent too. My dog was my baby long before I had my babies. But it is NOT the same as being a parent to human babies and the attachment is completely different. I don't doubt anyone's attachment to and love for their pets but it's not the same. It's just not.

sammierose464

SawyerRichardson said:

I tried La Croix for the first time today and it was disgusting.

I agree!

krzyriver

@SawyerRichardson I always hated La Croix! I started drinking it this pregnancy tho cause I needed the carbonation. Now I love it!

knottieamusements

I’ve been thinking about posting this as a UO for a while, but haven’t quite pulled the trigger.  However, with the hospital v birthing center debate coming up...

I don’t trust doctors.  Or midwives.  Or doulas.  Or insurance companies.  

It isn’t that I think they are incompetent or unknowlegeable. Instead, I think they come to the table with their own agenda and standard processes, which don’t always line up with what I want and need as an individual. 

It is also that I have had way too many instances of minor incompetence (or pressure to undertake unnecessary treatment) to feel completely comfortable going into a situation ignorant.  

Even as recently as yesterday- I went to the dentist because I has something lodged in my gums.  I told the dentist that I had something lodged in my gums and trying to floss it out had only caused it to get inflamed.  The dentist told me it was probably just pregnancy related gingivitis.  Two minutes later, they removed the crud from my gums.  Then the dentist asked if I knew I had something in my gums.  Seriously!  

I know I can’t do this on my own.  I know that doing this in a hospital is the safest option for me personally.  That doesn’t mean that I am going to accept all the things I am told just because that is what the expert said.  If I had done so over the years, I would have, at the very least, an extra filling and a permanently deformed ear.

(As a side note- I don’t distrust my care providers- as in, I don’t believe that they are incompetent or would intentionally make recommendations that are harmful to me or baby. If that was the case, I would absolutely find different providers.)

sammierose464

@knottieamusements Unfortunately, I think that's because in the US it seems like  the health care field is very money focused and not always patient focused. I stopped seeing a physician because of his attitude toward me when discussing an optional vaccine. (I'm not anti-vaxx, but if you offer me a vax I'm not familiar with I might not jump on having it right then and there) The way he pushed it to me was such a turn off. Another dr, when I went to her asking what I needed to travel to Peru (vaccines, meds, etc) she seemed completely unwilling to do her research. I told her I wanted altitude meds because a friend had gotten some and recommended them. She asked me what my friend was given and just gave me those.

chopchop25

@sammierose464 I find that a completely reasonable statement, simply because...we're all only human. I love my OB because while she gives me her opinion, if I ask her for all the options, she'll lay them all out. If I couldn't have an open pro/con and weigh the options conversation with her, I think I'd personally be looking for someone else.
I didn't even contemplate anything but a hospital delivery because that's where I know the MOST resources are available to me if something comes up, which, IMO, is the most I can basically ask for at any point in time. But it'll never be perfect or fool-proof, and I have no judgement against anyone else delivering anywhere if they've done the research and think it's best for them with eyes wide open.

I went to urgent care once with strep. They told me it wasn't strep but I made them do the test. It was strep. I also once had a doc who gave me steroids for EVERYTHING bc he was in a deal with the providers - that was a hard pass for me. Docs with agendas are the WORST.

mytrueloves

@knottieamusements I feel you so much. I feel like no matter who you end up using for your prenatal and birth care, they're going to be biased and have their own agendas. That's why I think it's so important for people to research. 

chyvie

Considering the lurker pin pointed me out specifically I 100% appreciate your ladies support and comments about it. I honestly didn't think my post came off as judgy or very pushy - it was only to give an example as to why I would choose hospital over anything else. If it came across as anything else I do apologize as it wasn't meant to offend anyone!

mytrueloves

I'm geeked about the royal wedding. I'm not obsessed with the royal family or anything but I love weddings and I'm excited to see how it plays out.

chopchop25

@chyvie I didn't find you to by judgmental - just my opinion but I think you were pretty careful to word, with TW, that it was personal friend experiences and stories that helped frame your opinion. Plus, you know, YOU GO HERE.

ladyofarlington

kiwi2628 said:

@chopchop25 agreed totally, especially when your opinion and arguing is based on hyperbolic and scare tactic 'facts' rather than...you know...actual facts

Related Q: what happens if we we end up delivering in another month (let’s say Sept for those of us due 10/1 or Nov for thosw due at the end of the month)? We stil post here, right bc of our due dates? Haha

knottieamusements

@chyvie - I didn’t take your comments in that thread as judgy or pushy.  This question is like a lot of other questions in both pregnancy and life in general.  

There are different reasons and considerations for everyone.  Some people are genuinely going to make poor decisions for themselves and their families (I’m looking at the anti-vaxxers here), others will make decisions that I strongly disagree with but recognize it isn’t my decision (circumcision).

One of the great things about this board and that discussion in particular is that we are able to have reasonable discussions about things we may disagree about while honoring that others are entitled to their opinions and choices.  

(Wait- this is the UO thread?  Coffee is nasty- especially black coffee.)