Monday BF 5/7 — The Bump
July 2018 Moms

Monday BF 5/7

Image result for horse bitch memeHorse related BF meme in honor of derby day this past weekend, lol. Bitch away ladies. 

Re: Monday BF 5/7

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  • Feels so early, but at least we're all feeling the Mondays together.

    In the randoms last week, I mentioned that my doctor's office called me right after my 30 week app. to say there was something "obscure" in my blood.  Of course, they left this in a voicemail and when I called back, they were closed.  On Friday morning, I called back to see what was going on and the nurse got me in a complete panic.  They basically told me to come in right away to get new labs asap.  I got upset at work and had to leave quickly and DH met me at the office.  They ushered me in and said I could go get my labs...I didn't even know what they were for.  No one was able to tell me what it was for and they just kept telling me to get the blood draw and they would try to find someone to explain to us what was going on afterwards.  The nurse from the phone couldn't explain what 'the risk' was and we had to demand to see a doctor because I wouldn't leave until I knew what was happening.  I'm crying in the hallway of the OB office with what feels like millions of pregnant ladies.  After two hours, a doctor finally sees us.  We find out that someone made a mistake when reading our 28 week labs (apparently this antibody test is done with the glucose test along with other things).  The doctor didn't see the "obscurity" and they didn't figure it out until WE requested to talk over everything at our 30 week app.  Are you kidding me?!  They won't tell me the doctor's name who made the mistake.  Am I wrong for not wanting this person to treat me and baby anymore?  I should know who it is!  So the doctor finally says, "I will try to get the lab to rush your results, but because it's Friday, you might need to wait.  I will try to call you on Saturday anyways."  Welp, no call Saturday.  I've been pacing around all morning like a crazy person.  This weekend was filled with the anxiety of waiting.  I am crossing my fingers they call me as soon as they open.  But I'm sure when 8 rolls around, I'll be the one calling them.  Part of me wants to be really angry, but all I really want is to find out that our son is okay.  UGH!  Sorry for length.  Hope no one else is going through this!  
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  • @julybabybear ugh I’m so sorry! Did they even explain to you what this potential “obscurity” is?? It all sounds so....obscure. Like if your’re going to be worried all weekend that something is wrong, you should at least get to know what it is you’re worrying about. It sounds like they probably just messed up and are putting you through all this for nothing, which I hope is the case. I’d be thinking about switching practices if this happened to me. Keep us updated! 
  • @julybabybear ugh that’s awful! I would definitely want to know the doctor who made the mistake! It seems really shady that they aren’t telling you anything. But as awful as the experience has been, I hope the results show that everything is fine!

  • zande2016zande2016 member
    edited May 2018
    @smashjam I soooo feel you on the financial stuff. It’s been one thing after anther for us too. When I had the flu last month I had no clue that my ER copay was $400, which doesn’t even go towards our deductible or out of pocket! The diabetes testing supplies are racking up our pharmacy bill, not to mention if I’m put on insulin that’ll be even more. Then of course both of our cars needed new tires at the exact same time, I decided to only get two for my car since two had a little life left in them, but my husbands AWD Subaru needed all 4 since AWDs are a pain in the ass and have to have even tires. Then his car also needed brakes and rotors since he drove on worn brake pads for too long. Just waiting to see what the next unexpected expense is! I am in the same boat with debt. I make a dent in one debt, but just build more debt somewhere else because of it. It’s seriously the biggest source of anxiety for me. We both make a good income yet we can’t save any money and can’t seem to dig ourselves out of debt. I just want to move somewhere where you don’t need to make $200K just to live comfortably. 
  • sm05-2sm05-2 member
    edited May 2018
    @SmashJam and @zande2016, sorry to hear about the financial stuff, especially with the cars, that’s rough. Last fall we had to get a new used car bc our other one died, and I’m hoping this one lasts. 

    My BF is that it got really warm here a few days ago and my feet swelled so much. It’s been cooler now for a couple of days but the swelling hasn’t gone away. Feels so uncomfortable putting my shoes on and just in general. 

    ETA: due to pregnancy brain, totally forgot to wish @julybabybear well--hope you check out okay!
  • @julybabybear I hope everything checks out okay, please keep us posted. Sending good vibes your way!
  • @julybabybear Ugh I am so so sorry :( I would definitely bring it up again to them if you are concerned. I would also be calling as soon as they open. @SmashJam and @zande2016  hugs ladies we have definitely had same struggles this year. Hope things start to settle down soon! 
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  • SmashJam said:
    @julybabybear I hope you get a call the minute they open! @zande2016 I hear you on the tired...I had my first get up to pee in the middle of the night, I was cold all night but didn't want to get out of bed and be more cold, my huddled sleep position made my hips hurt so I tossed constantly. SIGH. 

    My BF so far is that I wish we could go one pay period without a multi-hundred dollar payment to make. Had to get the dogs checked out so we could get their flea/tick/and heartworm meds for the season. Both cars need to switch from winter to summer tires and we have one set, but have to buy another. My car is making an obscene grinding noise so we'll have to fix that, but hopefully its just dumb. We can't make extra headway on debt and in reality are making it so much worse because we have to pay late to pay these extra bs things that still keep coming up to pay. I shouldn't have gone to see my bro last month but I didn't think we had all this stuff coming up! Poor planning/anticipation on my part but it still sucks.

    stuck in the box:

    i always feel feel like I have a “random” expense each month - a medical bill that’s larger- and it makes me feel like I can’t get ahead.
  • wildtotwildtot member
    @julybabybear how stressful! I hope all comes back ok and they call you this morning! 

    To those with random big expenses I’m with you! I have a list of things we NEED and some keep getting put off because DHs hobbies. Now he’s looking at fish tanks. I tell him NO every chance i get. I’m over here spending my mw money on bills do we don’t go into savings. 

    Its suppose to be 80+ degrees today and i realized i forgot to shave my legs to wear a nice maternity dress. Also, i don’t want to work!! 7 more weeks of work left and my brain is turning into mush. 
  • @wildtot I’d rip him a new one if he buys that fish tank!! I can relate, one of my husband’s hobbies is to buy and sell tennis parafanalia on eBay. Yeah, pretty ridiculous hobby lol. But anyway whenever he makes a profit off of it, he uses that money to buy more tennis crap, instead of just putting it into savings or putting it towards debt or buying me something nice lol. I’m fine with him having his own money on the side but with him knowing how stressed i am over finances, it really hruts my feelings and makes me resentful that he doesn’t recognize what he should be doing with that money. I also have trust issues since he’s used side money from eBay before to do things against my back that I won’t get into details on, so while I know he’s not doing those things now I’m not sure I’ll ever stop having those doubts and trust issues. I went on a tangent but basically yeah it sucks when you’re the responsible one and your spouse is wasting money on useless crap. 
  • @julybabybear what a nightmare! I would seriously be considering changing practices after the way they treated you/their mistake. Seriously so unprofessional to leave you wondering what’s wrong, I’m sorry. If they don’t call you right when they open I would 1000% call them and not feel even a little bit bad about it. I hope everything is okay!

    I hear you all on the expenses, I’m justtttt now catching up on everything but the only reason we’re even making headway is DH’s bonus check that couldn’t have come at a better time. I hope things turn around for you all! 

  • Today’s the day I find out if my “friend” picked a different name for her kid after our conversation.... or if we will have two little boys, two months apart, with the same name. 
  • I'm not looking forward to interacting with anyone at work today. Too bad it's also the wedding gift lunch for that co-worker I'm not friends I have to interact...after having not contributed anything. oops.

    Isabella & Julian & and now #3!
  • zg49zg49 member
    Our kids are sick again. Today is day 7 of this crap of fevers and coughs that make my DS sick. I'm so over it! 

  • Another one in my office ever changes the dam water cooler, and I obviously can't do that at 30 weeks pregnant, but I hate asking someone to do it because I feel weird. Come on able bodied people, step it up!! 
  • Same shit different day here. Up at 5:15 to go to work after not enough sleep. Getting sick of the traffic and the  downtown area where I work, the stench, filth, screaming homeless people. Trying to be productive at work but really having a hard time giving a crap and just counting down the days. 

    Followed by feeling guilty for being an ungrateful little shit because I know that all things considered my life is easy and I'm extremely blessed. 
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  • @julybabybear - sent you a PM about practices
    @wildtot omg fish tanks are sooooo much $ and work....fresh or salt??
    @cseley321 I'm going to kind of have the same as you but we ended up going extreme other side...

    Kind of 2 - #1 - Weekends at Mimi's are just asking for it, #2 Men don't get it - but he redeemed himself

    So this weekend was DH's 30th.  DD went to MIL's for the night and we went out to dinner and laser tag then hung out with SIL/BF and cousin/hubby.  Sucked it up through the "why haven't you dropped her off yet? make sure you pack enough clothes this time. Don't forget a sweatshirt. Don't send any food. Oh yea happy birthday" Um like last time when I packed a warm and cool outfit and you sneered at the warm outfit and went out and bought her new clothes? Or bitched there weren't enough diapers but obviously didn't look in the bag because 3 came home? So I packed up half her freaking drawers in various layering/styling/temp combinations and sent half a case of f'n diapers and 2 things of disposable wipes.  We get her home last night, she's a freaking monster and won't eat for us and DH reports that she refused food at MIL's too.  Per usual she barely slept so we put her down early and as DH and I are going to bed around 11 some super mom sense says "check the kid" and I go to tuck her in since I've barely seen her all weekend.  As I'm tucking her in I get this strong sour/acidic smell....she's out cold but there's puke all over the bed, lovey, and her... Ended up changing her and the bed 2x, throwing everything in the bathtub with oxyclean, and barely slept because every cough/movement I woke up and had to check the bed again.  Come to find out, what did she eat at MIL's? Oranges in syrup (have asked 100x not to give her those), strawberries, little bit of yogurt, pasta with red sauce and cheese....good job MIL - high sugar, high acid, high dairy diet with a kid with sensitive stomach... She has 0 fever, only 2 episodes, and has been fine keeping water, pedalyte and crackers down today so I'm totally blaming MIL and not a bug.

    Ok so I've been back in bed due to really bad SPD on top of pre-existing joint issues.  Knew i'd be paying for DH's birthday but you only turn 30 once and figured I could recoup after.  Already in agony before we even get to laser tag from a target run, cleaning up toys for company, and sitting at dinner for 2+ hours, but so many people cancelled on laser tag I decided to try to play and figured I'd hide in the corner or just get shot a lot.  So PSA - 6 months pregnant is way too pregnant for laser tag - esp with general population at 1030pm warrior dash.  Don't get me started on the horrible tween girl who would drive you to a corner and stand there and shoot you point blank so you couldn't get away - most of the 30 min was me hiding from her.  Survived - DH came in 1st place, I came in 17th.  Woke up in a crap ton of pain but I knew I would - well now DH wants to work on emptying the office more because DH is still at MIL's...  I sit in a chair and try to just put stuff on shelves in boxes to move out but even that is way too painful and i end up tearing up trying to push through.  DH gets pissed and tells me to go back bed for the rest of the day then decides to hulk out and carry everything downstairs by himself - including bookshelves and a metal filing cabinet FULL of files.  Dumbass. He has this horrible habit of switching from one extreme to the other when it comes to my pain/mobility - either I should be able to just do things or I'm a delicate flower that must go back to bedrest with no in between.  At least today he's redeemed himself by working (didn't have to ask!) so he's currently downstairs with DD watching Coco while I work from bed because every chair down there makes the SPD worse.
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  • zande2016 - the water jug thing seriously pisses me off. We don't have this at my current job, but at a previous one we did and it was a professional environment (read I'm in heels every day) and although not preggo at that time I kid you not the freaking CFO eyeballed me up and down one day while I changed one over wearing a dress and heels while he sat there eating a freaking sandwhich. I wanted to throat punch him, praises to you for not kicking anybody! lol
  • @paytonpedro

    Did I miss something?  Please tell me a close friend isn't planning to name her child the same name as you....I'm assuming you picked it first? 
  • @wildtot stand your ground on the fish tank!! My DH isn’t allowed to have a fish tank. I told him years ago he could have one if he took care of it. Well he didn’t, so it was a NASTY mess all of the time. Ugh.. we have a teeny tiny tank right now for our beta fish but I’m guessing he wants more than a 1 gallon tank lol. 

    @paytonpedro fingers crossed for you! It’ll all be ok no matter what though! 

    @runsomewhere it’s ok to have a shitty day and still be grateful for your life in general. I hope it gets better for you though! 

    We also always ways have something to pay for that we weren’t expecting. Maybe that’s one of those really terrible “fun” parts of adulting. Not my favorite. 

  • @wildtot ugh I hope your husband listens to you and doesn’t get a fish tank! So much work and money have to go into those!

    @paytonpedro keep us posted!  I’ve been wondering about that situation since you mentioned it!

    @zg49 I’m sorry your kids are sick! Hopefully everyone gets well soon!
  • wildtotwildtot member
    Glad I’m not the only one anti fish tank. We have a small one with cheap fish in DSs room but it sparked DHs interest since then. I don’t want to care for another pet. I hate cleaning the tanks. And he would want the most expensive kind too. Everything he researches shows up on my FB (thanks to no privacy) but i tell him NO each time he asks a random fish question. The other day i said i like some sort of dog (meaning it was cute) and he asks if i want one. No! lol their cute but not enough for my time or money right now. This guy!
  • @wildtot we had a carnival goldfish for a couple years, I kept thinking it would die but the thing just hung on and got bigger and bigger. They are SO messy and the tank upkeep for that one stupid fish drove me nuts. Finally when we moved, I put my foot down and said we were giving him up for adoption lol. We gave him to a pet store and never looked back. Obviously dogs are a lot of work, but at least you can bond with them. It's hard to bond with a fish. 
  • @wildtot what about the smoker he was also going to get?? I mean, come on...I understand wanting to treat yourself but let it at least be cheaper items that don't need maintenance!

  • We have a small 30 gallon salt water fish tank that we set up about 5 years ago. We have two clown fish in there. The thing is a pain to upkeep. Every two weeks have to change out 5 gallons of salt water with new. Seems like a few times a year we're battling some kind of algae. It was expensive to set up and pretty pricey and time consuming to keep maintained. When it was just DH, the one dog and one cat, it was doable. The we got a puppy last August, and the fish tank got shoved to the bottom of the list on our daily pets needs. Now with a baby coming, I can't imagine how much less attention the fish will get. A few nights ago DH and I were talking and I thought we agreed that the fish were just too much at this point and we were going to give the fish back to the fish store and put the tank in storage and maybe re-set it up in a few years. But the next day DH woke up determined to keep it going and went and got the water to exchange and a plan to clean it up. ugh

  • Jumped on really quick to provide my bf...its people in general to back to back meetings.

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  • wildtotwildtot member
    @kissableviv he got his smoker and has used it every weekend since - like everyday. I have to guilt him now which i hate but this guy has no end! 
  • @foxbaby2016 @hillbillywife  @ashbub714
    no news yet.... 

    a friend of ours in our close circle, whose husband is our DS’s God father, wants to name her son the name we picked. We talked about names in January and I mentioned it as my favorite, and at the time she had no clue and her and her husband couldn’t agree. We talked a couple weeks ago and she asked if we had a name picked out and I said yes and told her and she said that’s what she wants to pick too! Ugh. I guess her and her husband couldn’t agree still so hopefully she mentioned it to him and it has swayed them. Just waiting to find out!! And I’m not going to lie, I’m going to be super pissed if she still picked it. 
  • @wildtot Don't feel bad he has to get it in check. Having a kid doesn't mean having no spending money it just means more delayed gratification. 

    My BF my husband stayed home/is working from home since I had meetings all mornjg and afternoon. I get home and he goes "oh good now you can clean" since we have people coming over tonight. Then had the nerve to ask me why i was sitting down for a few minutes since I "didn't do anything all day". I almost killed him....Ugh
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  • @lindsayleigh1989 what a dick! Part of me says you should not clean, especially if he could have been doing it because he's been sitting around all day, but the other part of me likes to present a clean home that people feel comfortable eating in, so I would probably still clean after fighting the urge to punch him in the penis. 

    My car is broken, and I can't drive it. We already planned on getting the dogs to the vet this pay period, but not on fixing my car, so this is like, lots of extra money. Its wheel bearings and rear brake pads and rotars, it will be hundreds of dollars. I hate cars.
  • wildtotwildtot member
    @lindsayleigh1989 the nerve to say that! Total dick punch worthy. 
  • Sorry, this is long, I can't figure out how to put this in a spoiler today. I'm so ragey I have to vent this somewhere or I'll explode.

    I'm sure some of this will seem like an overreaction on my part, but I've made no secret that I don't like my SIL. Even she knows I don't like her. I told bro not to marry her for about a thousand and one reasons, but that's a story for another time. This is just the latest issue and I expect will end up in total and complete silent treatment from bro and SIL going forward, for years.

    My shower is coming up this Saturday, I'm already completely dreading it, but now my SIL is causing drama and making it about her. For some reason she thought her mom was invited, found out she wasn't and made my mom invite her. Normally I wouldn't care, but the shower is at my house and H and I really don't know this woman. We've met her less than 5 times in as many years. Basically she's a stranger to us. She's been nothing but rude to H. At SIL's bridal shower, her mom had to be the star of the show, it was all about her. Same thing at bro and SIL's wedding, needed it to be all about her. Everything is always about her and if the event isn't about her, she takes over and makes it about her and sets out to either put everyone else down or make them look bad. At bro's wedding, this woman intentionally wouldn't tell my mom the time or locations for where SIL was getting ready so there was no way for her to know when or where to be for pictures, etc. We asked, multiple times. I wasn't even included in the thought about pics ahead of time, instead I was asked to basically be the bouncer at the wedding site and keep guests from going into the venue until it was time. SIL's mom then tore into my mom in front of other people at the wedding because mom wasn't there for pictures and support before the wedding. She then made my mom cry the next day during the wedding clean up because she was so rude during that too. These are some of the least colorful examples of why I don't want this woman around me or my family.

    Back to the point, my mom told me about inviting SIL's mom because she felt like she had to and now feels awful about it, I was annoyed, but DH was incensed that this woman we've only met a handful of times, is not our friend or family, and quite frankly has been nothing but rude to my mom and DH was invited without any regard to checking with me about it. Initially I let it go because I was told she wasn't coming, but then I guess she changed her mind and now says she is coming.

    I texted my bro (he does not talk on the phone) for help because I wanted to know how to address this with SIL and find out why she thought someone that is virtually a stranger to me and H should have been invited when I had actual friends and family that I wanted to include but couldn't because of space. Mostly I was looking for bro's help in setting boundaries because his MIL is no more my family than my MIL is his family. I don't want or need this woman that has no connection to me or H thinking she has anything to do with our kid and I also think it's inappropriate that his wife would think this is ok. I asked him for guidance on how I should approach this with SIL. Instead of being helpful, he responded "sorry my family is unacceptable to you" and then evidently told his wife I don't like her family. Super helpful bud, thanks for that. Also, should be noted he can't stand his MIL in the first place. Told bro that his response was unfair and unwarranted and also sorry I asked for his help, I won't make that mistake again. Love that I'm the bad guy here. Naturally this set off a round of inconsolable pregnancy sobbing and H was a good sport and let me get snot all over his shoulders.

    Apparently about the same time I texted bro, mom called SIL to explain she shouldn't have invited SIL's mom without running it by me first and maybe it would be better if her mom didn't come. So now I feel bad that mom felt totally boxed in, and get to be the reason someone was uninvited, super, I get to be the bad guy like 3 times in about 15 minutes!! I did not ask mom to do this, but she was trying to help fix it. I'm not mad at my mom, just frustrated by the situation and the actions, but I also feel bad for her because she's the type of person that doesn't do well with confrontation and can't say no to people so that's how all this came about to begin with.

    Later that evening SIL sent me an email to "clear the air" it started out fine, I expected an explanation, but instead it was passive aggressive whining and she acted like a victim. Nope. If there is one thing anyone that actually knows me is aware of, that behavior will set me off and I'll dive right into confrontation. I'm a fighter, I don't do passive aggressive and have a huge BS detector. I called BS on her victim play, told her not to try that with me or to pretend to be insulted that I wasn't comfortable having someone I consider a stranger at my home. Said H and I are allowed to be selective about who we do and don't invite into our home and lives and especially into the life of our child. Told her that she can be mad at me, call me a b*tch, roll her eyes and blame the crazy pregnant hormones, come to the shower, not come to the shower, whatever she wants, and that if she and bro decide to lose my phone number and address that's up to them, but bottom line is that I will not apologize for being selective over who I invite into my home and the life of my child. I'm really hoping SIL doesn't come to the shower, I don't have much of a poker face and I really don't want to spend the afternoon avoiding eye contact with her. I'm also pretty sure I'll never hear from my bro again after all this, and oddly I'm a peace about that.

    I didn't sleep well last night, and I'm getting no work done today because I'm still fuming. I may be a b*tch, but really I don't care. I'm just mad. Not about the invite thing, but about SIL's passive aggressive response, trying to play victim and also for knowing how my mom is and taking advantage of that to get her mom an invite to the shower. H decided to work from home and has been rage cleaning all morning. He scrubbed all the floors, on hands and knees, he was so mad.

  • Haha thanks everyone. Once he saw I am having a hard spd day and can barely walk he decided to help out. but the dick punch is going to most likely happen anyway :) 

    @noideawhatshesdoing I am so angry for you! that is so weird of your SIL and also so wrong. Also I am really proud of you for telling the mil not to come and for tellig your sil off. It is a crappy situation but you set a good boundary now that you won't tolerate her or his BS. You are not a bad guy you are being a reasonable rational person. Also this way you and your mom can enjoy the shower a lot more without horribke random mil there.
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  • @lindsayleigh1989 sorry about the spd day  :(  Also, thanks for validating my feelings. It was so weird to me and normally I wouldn't care, but it's at my house and this is my sister in law's mom. My own MIL (who I adore) isn't even coming to the shower because she's out of the country.  Fun fact, when my niece was born 6 years ago, bro and his wife at the time had all sorts of rules about who could and couldn't be around them and the baby, so this is a total double standard on my bro's part. They even made my mom go through an infant first aid class before they would let her babysit for a half hour. Have I mentioned my mom was a labor and delivery nurse for 20 years? In other news, I don't think my floors have ever been this clean!
  • wildtotwildtot member
    @noideawhatshesdoing wow I’d be raging too! Yay you for standing your ground! My SIL’s mom tried inviting herself to my moms house in the past. My mom doesn’t even know this woman! I wouldn’t even consider her family either because she’s in no way related to me or DH. But hey you’ll have some clean floors  ;)
  • @noideawhatshesdoing yeah SIL sounds ridiculous and it is also pretty crappy that your brother is being so stupid... 
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