@runrinserepeat I'm so so sorry you're going through this. I haven't been/am not in the situation you're in, but I have lost people that were very dear to me and I have been mourning that I won't be able to share this next stage of my life with them. I do think sharing with your mom in the joy of this new life could bring her some peace and distraction and happiness. And also make the time you have together all the more special. And not to be unrealistic/give you false hope, but sometimes having something to look forward to gives people revitalized energy and enthusiasm to hold on longer than they might have otherwise. My heart really goes out to you hun. **hugs**
@runrinserepeat I’m so sorry you are going through this. You are experiencing such a range of emotions, please don’t add guilt on top of that. You have nothing to be guilty about! Sending all the creepy internet hugs to you!
@runrinserepeat I agree with others that a grandchild is always good news. She will get to “know” the baby even if she never meets the baby outside. I know my husband and his sister regret “waiting so long” and letting their dad die thinking that they were never going to have kids.
@runrinserepeat I am so sorry. I was in a somewhat similar situation with DS, though still different.
**TW grandma death
My grandma was 82, she'd been in a nursing home for I think 3.5 years. I honestly didn't think she'd make it to 82, when she turned 81 I actually told my mom that I'd be surprised if she made it another year. She had had a stroke, that's why she was in there, so she wasn't 100% with it most days, or at least very slow reacting. Well, when I was about 3.5-4 months along, I told her I was pregnant. It was such a wonderful moment for me because I got "the look" from her, and my mom and I just laughed. She was herself for a moment. I know she would have been ecstatic if she was able to meet him, but she passed just a few weeks after I told her. It still hurts because I was so full of hope for her meeting him, and she was my best friend, but I'm happy that I was able to tel her. I'm happy I still had that moment with her where I saw a glimpse of her old self.
All that to say, I truly think your mom would love to know. Even if, god forbid, she doesn't make it to December, she could make it long enough to see your belly grow, and maybe feel some movement from baby. I agree with a PP that she'll be happy with the knowledge that she has a grandchild if nothing else.
@runrinserepeat I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. I can’t imagine how hard it must be going through something so happy and so sad simultaneously. Big hugs.
I mean, the thing is that this next course of treatment may put her into remission, in which case she'll be fine come December. If it doesn't work, well, it's kind of her last shot. I feel like at the very least I should wait until this treatment is over so that we know what to expect, but it's going to be several weeks and they just pushed the treatment back and she's got a scan today that I'm worried is going to be terrible news and cause them the cancel the treatment altogether... Ugh. So much to worry about
@runrinserepeat I'm so sorry you have to manage such opposing emotions and situations at the same time! I hope your mom has a good scan today and they can move forward with a treatment plan. I agree with other PPs that the news of your pregnancy may bring some much-needed sunshine into everyone's lives at the moment. Wishing you and your family the best as you move through the next few months!
Me: 33, DH: 41 Started IF Feb. 2014 PCOS & MFI (low sperm count and motility) 3 Femara cycles w/natural intercourse over summer 2014, BFN 1 Clomid cycle w/natural intercourse Nov. 2014, BFN IUI March 2015, BFN IUI June 2015, BFN IUI Oct. 2015, BFN IVF Oct. 2016, fresh transfer, 2 day-3 embryos, BFN; nothing to freeze IVF Nov. 2017, fresh transfer, 2 day-5 blasts, BFP; ectopic; 1 blast frozen FET March 2018, 1 day-5 blast, BFP!
@CecilB93 DH and I had a similar situation, but the outcome wasn’t as good.
I got to see DH’s Grandpa when he was still lucid (before he was sent home with a lot of morphine) and I wanted SO BAD to tell him “I think we’re pregnant” but I didn’t because it was too early to tell. Later that day I had implantation cramps, and here we are...8 weeks pg and fewer than two weeks after his funeral.
I hope that none of us suffer any family deaths this year
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
@runrinserepeat I just wanted to jump in and say that I'm sorry that you're having to go through this. I really hope for good scans and an even better outcome in the near future. Sorry I haven't been active topic earlier, I've been reading and I'm way too emotional and your story and others responses who have gone through similar just break my heart and make me so sad. I might be silent regarding this topic but I wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you and sending so many positive vibes. Please keep us updated.
@runrinserepeat I sincerely hope your mom gets good scan results today I've never been in your shoes but, for what it's worth, I do agree with everyone else. I would think that my own mother or father would want to know, and that it would give them some joy and comfort, even if they knew they wouldn't be around in the future. Lots of hugs to you.
@runrinserepeat maybe see how the scan goes then decide when to tell her? That way you kind of have a better grasp of things but don't have to wait until the actual treatment. I sincerely hope this scan gives the best news she can receive right now!
Sending all the love and good thoughts your way and your mom's, @runrinserepeat. I'm sorry you're having to worry about your mom at all, and sorry that it's made your beautiful news bittersweet. Keep us updated on her scans, please; you know we'll all be thinking of you and wishing for the best throughout.
@runrinserepeat first, I’m so sorry you are in this situation. Without knowing your mom, I agree with others that she might like to hear this good news. My guess is she’ll be thrilled just to experience her daughter’s pregnancy and have that distraction while she is working on her own health. Your family is in my thoughts and I really hope everything will be ok.
**TW, grandparent death** I haven’t been in the same situation exactly, but I did lose my grandma a few years ago. I was as close to her (if not more) than my parents, and I really struggled when she passed. I basically lived at the hospital during her last week of life. If you ever need to talk, I’m here to listen.
@runrinserepeat It doesn't sound like the best news, but it doesn't sound like the worst either! I pray for guidance for you to know what to do. This is such a difficult situation.
She's been probably 6 weeks without any treatments at all, so barring some extreme miracle where it just disappeared, we expected that it would have grown. I can handle that sort of thing. I think what we were worried about was just if it had grown or spread too much. That doesn't seem to be the case, so I'm actually taking it as good news. You guys can't imagine the scenarios I've been playing out in my head all day.
@runrinserepeat a plan and way forward with treatment is good! I’m sorry to hear about the scan. I hope your Mum responds well to the treatment and you find strength in each other. Thinking of you and your family.
It's going to be a goddamn miracle if my officemate doesn't guess I'm KTFU. I'm over here sipping ginger ale like it's going out of style, and munching on saltines all day long. At least she's discrete.
I have a random -- I forget who I was gushing about the Cosabella Never Say Never curvy bra to. I did end up ordering the nursing bra to try out in both medium and large. It's just okay, as most non-structured nursing bras are for large boobs. The pullover style might end up being a little annoying, but it's not the end of the world. I do like that it's lined (the non-maternity version is just a stretchy supportive lace), so it will take nursing pads well. I'm a 32ish DDD and have decided to go with the size medium.
Me: 31 | DH: 31
Together since 2003 | Married 2010 TTC #1 January 2016 BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016 Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018 BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
Glad your mom's scan went as expected @runrinserepeat. I know it's not what you wanted to hear, but at least it's not worse and she can start her next treatment. Your family will be in my prayers.
idk where this goes, but anyone considering letting DH find out the sex and themselves being TG? I feel like him having a secret and holding it over for me for 20 weeks, while I'm hormonal and the size of a boat, just doesn't really end well for him...
Thinking of you and your family @runrinserepeat. I‘m glad today’s appointment showed there’s at least still some hope
Me: 35 H: 35 Married: 4/5/13 "You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I will always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." ~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #1: 11/12/12 EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13 BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18 BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18 RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28 BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
@runrinserepeat I’m so glad your mom had good news today! What a relief for your family.
About your new question. I know of someone who was TG and didn’t want to know the sex, but the father of the baby knew. It was a very unplanned pregnancy as they had recently broken up and had no plans to get back together. He went to the scan though and convinced the tech to tell just him. Then he told other people. And I found out, and I’m friends with the mom and it was awkward and I almost let it slip a few times. My advice is be really careful about it because it might not be just him knowing. In this couple’s case it turned out to add a lot of unnecessary tension, but they had other issues going into the pregnancy. It might be completely different for parents who are together. In your case my main concern would be him buying gender specific stuff and you finding it (or him steering you toward/away from one half of the baby clothes).
(That family is successful coparenting & are each happily with other people. The kid is great too)
Re: Weekly Randoms! 4.30
**TW grandma death
All that to say, I truly think your mom would love to know. Even if, god forbid, she doesn't make it to December, she could make it long enough to see your belly grow, and maybe feel some movement from baby. I agree with a PP that she'll be happy with the knowledge that she has a grandchild if nothing else.
DS2 due 12/12/18
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
Started IF Feb. 2014
PCOS & MFI (low sperm count and motility)
3 Femara cycles w/natural intercourse over summer 2014, BFN
1 Clomid cycle w/natural intercourse Nov. 2014, BFN
IUI March 2015, BFN
IUI June 2015, BFN
IUI Oct. 2015, BFN
IVF Oct. 2016, fresh transfer, 2 day-3 embryos, BFN; nothing to freeze
IVF Nov. 2017, fresh transfer, 2 day-5 blasts, BFP; ectopic; 1 blast frozen
FET March 2018, 1 day-5 blast, BFP!
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
I hope that none of us suffer any family deaths this year
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
@echo-charlietango I'm so sorry, it's so hard losing loved ones ❤️
DS2 due 12/12/18
**TW, grandparent death**
I haven’t been in the same situation exactly, but I did lose my grandma a few years ago. I was as close to her (if not more) than my parents, and I really struggled when she passed. I basically lived at the hospital during her last week of life. If you ever need to talk, I’m here to listen.
Edit- typo
My mom’s scan showed more cancer, but not beyond what they would have expected. She’s still on track to start the next therapy on Saturday.
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
It's going to be a goddamn miracle if my officemate doesn't guess I'm KTFU. I'm over here sipping ginger ale like it's going out of style, and munching on saltines all day long. At least she's discrete.
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
DS2 due 12/12/18
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
DS2 due 12/12/18
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
I’m so glad your mom had good news today! What a relief for your family.
About your new question. I know of someone who was TG and didn’t want to know the sex, but the father of the baby knew. It was a very unplanned pregnancy as they had recently broken up and had no plans to get back together. He went to the scan though and convinced the tech to tell just him. Then he told other people. And I found out, and I’m friends with the mom and it was awkward and I almost let it slip a few times. My advice is be really careful about it because it might not be just him knowing. In this couple’s case it turned out to add a lot of unnecessary tension, but they had other issues going into the pregnancy. It might be completely different for parents who are together. In your case my main concern would be him buying gender specific stuff and you finding it (or him steering you toward/away from one half of the baby clothes).
(That family is successful coparenting & are each happily with other people. The kid is great too)