Pregnant after IF

2nd Trimester Check-in | Week of April 16th


Re: 2nd Trimester Check-in | Week of April 16th

  • @jr102217 so happy to hear things are looking better. Get some rest and try not to stress! 
    [Deleted User]jr102217
  • Does anyone else experience random anxiety? The last two days, I've had so much anxiety.  I think part of it is the baby isn't as active the last couple days and for some reason it terrifies me. I even downloaded one of those crappy doppler apps on my cell phone.  Of course I couldn't hear her heart beat (she kicked the phone at one point and I couldn't even find my own heart beat but still).  Then I overate cookies because that usually makes her kick and now I feel completely bloated. I'm wondering if I should spend $80 and go to the doctor or just relax. I go to the OB Monday for a regular appointment....  
    • Me: 36 DH: 33
    • TTC since June 2016
    • Me: PCOS DH: Morphology 1%
    • 3 TI with Famera and trigger shots-BFN
    • 3 IUI's with Famera and trigger shots- BFN
    • IVF August 2017 25 eggs retrieved, 19 mature, 13 fertilized (ICSI), 5 frozen, 3 PGS normal 
    • FET November 2017 Transferred one 6 day blast (a little GIRL) BFP EDD 8/4/18

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  • I'm sorry you're struggling with anxiety @Irisheyes81 my next apt is Monday, too, and it's been tough sometimes, the wait, but I canusually talk myself down.  If you're really worried tho, definitely go in!  Even if nothing's wrong, you will sleep better between now and Monday.  But if you think you're just working yourself up over nothing and really you ought to find other ways to calm yourself, maybe a nice walk outside, or a bath, or phone a friend. Idk.  Trust your gut tho, and whatever you choose will be the right thing. ❤

    ....And now I have a Doppler ap on my phone! Lol

    @2MomsHoping. That's beautiful!  I really want to get to some maternal sewing here before we get too much farther.... so meaningful to have such a precious thing made by mommy herself! ;)  I love it!
  • @irisheyes81 I definitely experience tons of anxiety that something is going to go wrong. I think when you have gone through trauma in the past (loss, infertility) it's hard not to worry. I definitely have to repeat to myself that babies sometimes nap and movement is inconsistent and every pregnancy is different. You are not alone. Hugs friend.

    [Deleted User]Irisheyes81
  • @Irisheyes81 yes to random (or constant) anxiety. You are not alone there. But go see them if you feel you need to, no need to spend the next 3 days worried. My doc said yesterday that babies are not supposed to move every hour. She asked if I was feeling it move more, and I said yes, but not 10x an hour. And she was like you're not supposed to. So that eased my mind. Also I had my glucose test yesterday and the little bugger did not move after all that sugar. 
    Regarding anxiety I feel like we have all been in that state since IF and the FET board, waiting for the other shoe to drop right? were a group of worrywarts, and you're in good company. 
    adiratIrisheyes81[Deleted User]safire3
  • @lablover78 I love everything about what you have going on in the nursery so far. Color is perfect and that dresser is AMAZING!
    [Deleted User]adirathottietoddy
  • @Irisheyes81 I have random anxiety all the time, and it's especially worse first thing in the morning or at night. I agree with others that it's harder to believe everything is going well when we've already experienced such a hard time getting pregnant and that you should definitely call your doctor if it will make you feel reassurance!

    Small vent...I'm having tons of anger and anxiety after talking to my mom last night. She was asking me all sorts of questions and then asked if I'm eating lean protein and watching how much dairy I'm eating (have never heard that pregnant women are suposed to avoid eating dairy?!?!) and then asked how much weight I've gained and warned me that I'm only supposed to gain 25 lbs. This was so triggering to me because of my years of body dysmorphia and disordered eating (that she knows nothing about because we've had a broken relationship for the last 10 years) and also my anxiety that I'll never lose weight after being pregnant. It just made me so upset like, how dare you ask me these questions? And on the flip side, my brother and his wife, who have a 9 month old daughter, are obese. I was so tempted to ask if she was quizzing my SIL about what she was eating and how much weight she had gained, or if it's only okay to ask a thin person that?
    Me: 31 DH: 34
    Together Since 5/07, Married 5/13
    TTC Since 8/15
    3 Cycles Clomid/Ovidrel/TI-11/16, 12/16, 1/17-All Failed
    Switched RE's 1/17
    4 IUIs-2/17 through 6/17-All Failed
    ER-8/30/17-25 Eggs Retrieved=7 PGS Normal Embyros
    FET#1 of 1 Embryo-10/3/17-Chemical
    FET#2 of 2 Embryos-11/16/17-Failed
    FET#3 of 1 Embryo-12/22/17-BFP!
    Carter Wright arrived 9/5/18
    sarcasticowl[Deleted User]adirathottietoddy
  • @sarzee2 I can relate to the body image anxiety.  I have always been thin but my mother (who eats whatever she wants and never exercises) has always been incredibly thin.  She loves to share that she only gained 14 lbs when she was pregnant with me. I can't help worrying that as my body changes she will make comments that will make me feel bad about it.  I can already feel myself obsessing over getting a work out in each day because it allows me some control over what is happening to my body.  The struggle is real. 
    History and blog link in spoiler
    2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 
    2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
    moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
    Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP!  baby boy born 8/22/18

    May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
    Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
    May 2020 FET; BFN
    July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
    Oct 2020 BFP! 

    Take a look at my blog

    [Deleted User]adirathottietoddy
  • edited April 2018
    @Irisheyes81. Lol who even knew that was a thing!?  I did get it to pick up my own hb, just in one particular spot, but baby's, notsomuch.  The headphone jack sticks out of the bottom very near where the microphone is, so it's very hard to get the microphone to touch your skin without also pressing the headphone jack and creating interference!  But I was surprised it even worked on my own hb, sort of.  Glad baby was kicking up a storm to ease your mind last night, and you're taking it easy today. ❤

    <img alt="" src="">
    I'm so sorry your mother said that.  1. Nobody needs that noise.  2. Babies actually do need calcium, so restricting dairy for ku people is not actually a thing.  3. Just no.  Totally out of line.  I was so mad when I got comments about my weight from the last midwife, I rescheduled my AS so I didnt have to see her again.  That's honestly the biggest thing I'm worried about at my appointment, and hoping this other midwife doesn't give me grief over it too. :/  try not to let her get to you. ❤❤❤

  • @BusinessWife my mom gave me her old sewing matching a couple years ago…I opened it once and couldn’t figure out how to thread it and haven’t even gone back.  Crocheting seems to be my one and only crafty skill.  I was browsing Pinterest and wanted to try to make some curtain panels and a crib bed skirt but that’s probably way above my skill level of never making anything.  Might have to import my mom for the weekend to help (ahem or more likely just do it for me).

    @safire3 wow that’s quite a haul!  Awesome :) 

    @lablover78 it looks great!  I love that you have the holder for the changing pad on the dresser so it doesn’t slide around.  I want to add something like that to mine.  Did you buy it as an attachment or did you guys make it custom?

     @sarzee2 commenting on any woman’s weight…is ridiculous and that goes double if you are pregnant.  Totally uncalled for.  I’ve also been eating way more dairy than usual, and even mentioned it to my OB because I was worried I was overdoing it and they had no problem with it.

     @irisheeyes81 I did make the blanket.  I’ve made so many for others over the years I can’t even count them, it such a I can’t believe this is real moment to finish it and just walk it upstairs instead of shipping it off at the post office.  I’ve finished so many wishing they were for my baby it was a really nice change of pace to have happy tears at the end instead of sad ones.  What to the Braxton hicks feel like?  A couple times this week I had what felt like a cramp but it was only on one side of my uterus which didn’t make sense to me for Braxton hicks.  Lasted maybe a minute than went away.  It hurt but not like hurt-hurt.  Didn’t really feel like a strong kick.  Yay for a relaxation day.  Nothing like good hair to improve the mood J 

     @irisheyes81 & @businesswife I think I must try this app.  DW has one of the fancy phones without an ear phone jack maybe I’ll make her download it to try to avoid the interference.

    Me:38 DW:33 
    TTC History in Spoiler ***Trigger Warning*** Losses/Child Mentioned 
    Dx: My wife has no sperm  :D and apparently my embryos aren't as good as they look

     * April IUI#1 - BFN
     * June IUI#2 - BFN
     * July IUI#3 - CP  :'(
     * Sept IVF#1 - 4 Retrieved & Mature, 4 Blasts.  Fresh Transfer 1  - CP  :'(
     * November FET #1 - Transferred 1 Blast - CP  :'(
    2017 Switched REs - Recurrent loss testing for me - all normal, remaining 2 frosties sent for PGS - both abnormal
     * April/May IVF#2:  9 retrieved, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 7 blasts!  Sent for testing - 2PGS Normals (0 remaining)
     * November IVF #3 12R, 8M, 6F, 4 blasts! - All 4 PGS normal!
     * November FET# 2 (Transfer a PGS normal from IVF#2) - BFP!!!
    2018 DD born 8/20/18
    2019 5PGS frosties ( 4 remaining)
      * September FET#3 (1PGS normal) - Beta#1: 139.7  Beta#2: 322.6

    [Deleted User]sarcasticowladiratsafire3
  • @jr102217 so so so happy to read your update!! And yes you're coming with me to the third tri board this weekend. None of this having the baby early stuff ok, thanks! ;) in all seriousness though, glad the worst is behind you, rest up as much as you need to. Listen to your body, everything will get done in time. 
    jr102217[Deleted User]
  • @jr102217 so so glad you’re back home. GL in the 3rd tri!

    @2MomsHoping he built the top and attached it to the dresser but first went to target to see what the real ones look like
    TTC since May 2013
    Mild PCOS, Compound Heterozygous MTHFR
    No Folic acid/pharmaceuticals/supplements (too many to list- private message me if interested), IVIL infusion
    sarcasticowl[Deleted User]
  • @lablover78. I love it!  Looks like a neat celestial changing pad cover, too! :love:

    So we were talking more about this on the BMB, but I pulled the trigger and ordered my breastpump and pump bag!  And those both came in!  So excited!  ...but now I have no idea how the thing works, or if I need any other parts for it etc.  I have heard people mention changing out the flanges for a better fit, or trying different settings??  Do I bring it with me to the hospital, or will they have one there for me if need be?
    <img src="" alt="" title="Image:">
    I know we have a few STMs here, so maybe someone can weigh in?  I feel so clueless.  :s
  • @jr102217 That's wonderful news! So glad you are home.

    @businesswife I second all your questions about pumps! Which brand did you select?

    Also, question for all of you -- when I see ads saying that I can pick a pump and the pump company will do all the legwork with my insurance company to get it paid for, is that real? It seems too good to be true but I definitely would love to have someone else do this for me....

  • *lurking from 3rd tri* at my last OB appt at 30 weeks they gave me one for free through insurance so I would definitely ask your doctor before buying one. I heard most insurance agencies give you free ones at around 30+ weeks. It’s a nice one as well. They did say to bring it to the hospital so they can show you how to use it. 
    TTC 4 years. 7 failed IUI's with either Clomid, Femara and/or Trigger Shots. Started IVF journey in February 2017. Polyps removed in May. 1st IVF Transfer September 26th. BFP. Expected due date 6/14/18. Baby boy born 5/25/18 at 6 lb 9 oz. My bundle of joy. 
  • @adirat I paid $95 (on my flex card) to upgrade to the Spectra1, which when the time comes if I needed to use it at work, I might need to do it in a room that may not have access to an outlet. (Apart from the bathrooms, we also have the safe deposit box rooms, which are basically just little closets with a countertop and a couple chairs.)  So I thought it woukd 've worth it to have the battery.

    I did go through one of those companies (I think there's a way we can maybe both get a discount if I send you the referral somehow?  Maybe?  Even though I already purchased mine so idk) but they did make it very easy, just by giving them my insurance info and EDD, next thing i knew, I had been approved and had a link to the pumps with their respective prices <i>for me</i>.  Best part is I was able to use my flex card for the copay, and for the bag, too!  I am just holding my breath to see if the flex card people will in fact cover the bag, but I called the company, and the lady said it should be fine and to call them if the flex card declined the bag.
  • @BusinessWife they will have one at the hospital for you to use and give you parts you can keep. Keep in mind milk usually doesn't come in until 2-5 days after birth, so don't panic if nothing comes out at first!
    [Deleted User]adirat
  • @adirat I know my insurance only offers one type and I didn't get the choice.
    [Deleted User]adirat
  • cseley321cseley321 member
    edited April 2018
    @BusinessWife @adirat I brought mine to the hospital, but it was just a waste of space. My intention was to have the lactation consultant help me, but they just demonstated and helped me on the hospital owned Medela (i had a spectra). 

    Truth be told, it was pretty self explanatory after using the Medela. So in hindsight, I shouldn't have brought it. If I were you, I would leave it at home but if you have any specific questions and feel you want the consultant to look at it, have your husband go pick it up.

    Regarding the flanges, don't order anything yet. Your boobs can change drastically from now until then, and the lactation consultant should tell you what your best fit is after birth. Pro tip, my hospital let me keep all of the flanges and tubes that I used while in the hospital. 
  • @lablover78 loveeeee the dresser and the wall color
    @2MomsHoping the blanket is beautiful, I want one!!! 
    @BusinessWife i called my insurance company two weeks ago and they gave me phone numbers to companies that provide free pumps. I'm still waiting to get mine, so awesome you got yours already. Also wanting the spectra, and planning on upgrading to
    the Spectra1. 
    @adirat def call your insurance company and ask them about the pump. They'll give you phone numbers to other companies like McKesson and Medline, you call
    them to order your pump. They did ask me for a prescription from my OB. So next time you see your doctor ask for an RX for a pump. 

    adirat[Deleted User]
  • As far as pumps go- @businesswife @adirat I used one of those companies (Edgepark Medical Supplies) last time and I literally had to do nothing besides fill out my name, address, insurance info on their website. It was the easiest thing ever and I got it super fast! Your insurance will have a list of websites to use... check a few different ones because mine had some different offerings through different sites! I used the Medela Pump in Style Advanced and I liked it... I breastfed for a year and pumped sometimes. I am debating getting a different pump (if insurance covers it) this time. I have heard great things about the Spectra as well.

    As far as the flanges go- measure and make sure you are getting the correct size, don't assume you will fit what is included!! I needed to order a smaller size and once I did it was way easier to pump. This is a chart from Medela but it will be similar with whatever pump.

    And I didn't bring my pump to the hospital but this time I may or maybe a manual pump. My milk didn't come in until a few days after birth (besides colostrum). It was super stressful because my son lost a ton of weight and wasn't getting enough to eat. Thankfully once it came everything went great but there was one day I was so worried. My number one tip would be see a lactation specialist... seriously! I will be asking for one in the hospital this time, but last time I just went to one at his pedi a few times. They are soooo valuable and helped me immensely!!!

    Me: 28, DH: 30 Married July 2014  DX: Severe MFI- 3 failed IUI's, IVF #1 Egg retrieval June 4th 2016, 5 day transfer- BFP Baby Boy! EDD 2/25/2017. Our sweet miracle Carter Bennett arrived 2/12/2017 6 lbs, 2 oz 19 inches. <3 Surprise BFP!!! Baby Girl due 10/1/2018.

    sarcasticowl[Deleted User]
  • @chicandbubbly Thank you so much for the link to the Medela measuring chart! Bookmarked for reference in a couple months :)
    [Deleted User]chicandbubbly
  • @chicandbubbly is exactly right on the delay for milk to come in... I had a CSection so mine took a while to come in. Another thing to remember is supplementing during this time isn't the end of the world... looking back now I was pretty much torturing myself and my new born by not supplementing sooner. My lactation consultant had told me not to do it, so I was going off of her advice. My milk was super slow to come in though so after like 2 hours straight of my baby screaming at night, a nurse talked me into letting het drink supplement milk. She went straight to sleep after guzzling the whole bottle :( I still feel supet guilty about that.
    [Deleted User]chicandbubbly
  • I signed up for a 2 year sample program at Destination Maternity yesterday... there will be formula and diaper samples, amongst other things, so I'm like, you know, having a little formula on hand in case we need to combo in the beginning is not such a bad idea.  And the disposables, too, you never know.  Even if I just end up taking them to Church, not a bad thing At All.

    Meanwhile, I think I'm about set to order a few joovy (ppsu) bottles to pump into, with the joovy adapter, and forego the Spectra bottles that came with the pump.  They gave me a free avent bottle, too, yesterday, so I guess if we have a few extra plastic bottles, can't hurt to give them to MIL or SIL so in a pinch they have <i>something</i> at their house. ...even if it's not glass  :#
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