I fed a family of 4, including 2 teenagers who ate a LOT for $400/mo in Oregon, but now in CO I spend more than that on just DH and I, plus he eats lunch out at work. Regional variation is huge, but it's also that I find it harder to motivate myself to cook every night for just the two of us. It's also easier and cheaper to order out for two than for four. I've definitely gotten lazy, and need to reign that in when we add a new mouth to the table.
Me:32 DH:45 DSD: 20 DSS: 18 Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
I was one of those creepy lurking lurkers. But there was some crazy stuff that happened on previous BMB that made me super nervous to join. And I was so so sick those first few months (starting at 4w when I first tested). I had to update my screen name on our computer which is upstairs and I didn't go upstairs for at least 2 months so I just lurked from my phone until I felt good enough to get up the stairs. And while I'm chatty in small groups, I am pretty quiet in large groups so I still feel very much on the outside of the conversations here. That's on me though.
And I can't think of any of my unpopular opinions right now. I'm distracted by the rubber ducky song that just came on sesame Street - haha! I was totally obsessed with that song in college but that's more of a FFFC
I've never had a baby, so I'm sure there is some amount of "don't judge until you've been there" that applies, but I don't understand parents who feed babies and toddlers refined sugar snacks and drinks. It just seems so unnecessary! I know a two year old who only drinks chocolate milk in his bottle, for example, and I just can't imagine ever even introducing chocolate milk to a baby or toddler. While a piece of birthday cake is great, or a bit of Easter candy is fine, I can't imagine feeding cookies, candy, juice, or soda on the regular to a tiny child. At this point my intention is to only give my child milk or water to drink until they are school aged, and attempt to avoid other sugary treats for about the same length of time. Once social functions like birthday parties start happening I'm not going to try and stop my kid from enjoying treats with everyone else, but I won't have that kind of stuff around the house as a regular part of our diet.
Me:32 DH:45 DSD: 20 DSS: 18 Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
@derbysquirrel I agree! DD is 14 months and my mom wanted to buy her peeps for Easter. Um, no. She barely eats table food as it is - she definitely doesn't need peeps. The only sugar or sweets she's ever really had was for her 1st birthday, and even that was a cupcake instead of an all-out smash cake like some people do. Chocolate milk in a bottle?!?!
@derbysquirrel I think there's merit to teaching a kid early on that those things are 'sometimes' foods. I don't plan on having processed foods/sweets be a mainstay in my kid's diet but I bake, so he'll probably be sampling pieces of cookies and cakes when he's old enough for solids. And I know my parents will give him the occasional juice or chocolate milk (and, when he's old enough, McDonalds). I think trying to avoid it until school age is going to be a challenge, especially when kids see other kids at the park or wherever with those snacks. I'd rather be like 'Yes, you can have a cookie like your friend, but let's also have some grapes' or 'You can have a cup of chocolate milk with lunch or at dinner, but you can only have one'. Moderation is going to be a big thing in our house (which is super hypocritical of me after the amount of candy I've eaten today, but no one has to know about that ).
Me: 28 DH: 29 Married: 6/2016 TTC #1: 12/2016 Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
@derbysquirrel I agree with you completely, my DD is 4 and has never had chocolate milk, we also don’t keep juice in the house and she basically only drinks water with the occasional milk. We will give her treats if it’s a special occasion but I don’t understand why parents start such bad habits while their children are young. My SIL fed her daughter tons of sweets before she was even 1 and now they have trouble getting her to eat regular food
@derbysquirrel I agree. We really let loose for special times like vacation and he does have holiday parties and such at school but my MIL has no effing control and we literally have 5 lbs of Easter candy at home that is likely all going in the trash. I usually feel too guilty to throw it out immediately, but it'll be gone soon. No freaking ADULT even needs all that crap and with the way I've been gaining weight lately, I need to get it out of the house.
Also, chocolate milk makes DS1 puke, so there's that at least.
Oh, and, I can ALWAYS tell when my ILs give him too much sugar because he has nasty diapers for like 3 days after. So when they watched him when we went out of town and gave him too much sugar the first day, they paid for it for DAYS and it makes me laugh that they finally realized that we weren't being "mean mom and dad," he really cannot tolerate sugar.
Agree with @jsnakehole. Sugary treats aren’t a part of our kids daily diet but I think keeping it from them until they are school- age could be difficult.
We teach treats/special snacks in moderation. I definitely don’t want to treat them as horrible things and then have my kids sneak them/develop negative habits of hiding food. They just know that they can have them when it’s appropriate (dessert only if they finish their dinner, juice once a day, etc).
I'm not begrudging anyone for having a pair, or every pair, of Tieks. Quite the opposite, I'm green with envy! But holy sticker shock, Batman. I just wish I had that kind of disposable income for "fun shit". Maybe I'll save more pennies for that pewter pair for my birthday in...January. lol
As it is, I feel super guilty spending $80 for a used nursery bedding set from a local mom. But it originally retailed for over $200 and it's since been discontinued. So I've been trying to tell myself it's a good deal. heh
My ethos when it comes to foods and groceries, it's long winded, so I put it in a spoiler.
For grocery shopping tricks, honestly I think a lot of it is common sense. But I think I might also be unique in that I make/prepare a lot of our stuff at home, which may or may not translate well to other people's lives and circumstances. And that's okay! But I was amazed at how even little changes made a big difference, for us anyway. I'm sure once I have this little one, things will probably take a back burner and not seem as important, but I'm going to try to keep up with the things I feel are important for our family.
The biggest thing? I take heavy advantage of store sales, coupons, and meal planning. When stuff is on sale, I stock up my pantry for the lean times. I don't really buy "convenience foods" on the whole. Skillet meals in a bag? Seasoned rice in a box? Pre-cut bagged vegetables? Frozen waffles? Cereal? Sure, they're all good, but too expensive when I can do it myself. Now I'll totally buy Near East boxed rice/quinoa/couscous if I find it on sale, same for Kraft mac and cheese, Maruchan ramen, and Cheerios. lol
We don't really buy "junk food" either, and that's a big cost. No soda, potato chips, frozen burritos, or candy here. Our local farm store sells giant boxes of corn chips, 3lb for $6, so we usually get one of those. Chips and salsa is one of our main snacks. They also sell big bags of local pretzels, which are really good. I occasionally get coupons for Blue Diamond almonds from Walgreens, so when they're on sale and I have a coupon, watch out! Our snack cabinet looks like a hipster market with the nuts, dried fruits, and granola containers. lol
I rarely buy canned vegetables, we simply don't use them. Every meal my mom made when I was growing up was with canned vegetables, ugh. Ever since marrying my husband and finding out how to actually cook veggies that aren't overcooked mush from his mom, I can't go back. So a lot of my weekly budget goes towards lots of fresh fruits and vegetables that I intend to use within a few days of purchase. Since I got pregnant we've been eating a LOT of chard, beet greens, and sweet potatoes. Fruits, I try to stick to what's in season at that time, as they're cheaper, fresher, and don't come in on an airplane from South America. heh
The canned goods I do use the most are ones I rarely buy. Like canned tomato products, which I think are expensive for no more than what they are, which is: tomatoes, water, salt. If I do buy canned goods, like tomato paste (ain't wasting the time and propane to cook it down), kidney/black/garbanzo/wax/butter beans...it's on sale and store brand only.
Every year I grow a garden and can my own diced tomatoes/sauce/Rotel knockoff/salsa. Same for green beans, although my green beans did awful last summer, so I'm making due with the last of my 2016 stash. I also make my own jams and pickles with the same principles. It's going to suck moving to Montana with their unpredictable weather, short growing season, and trying to grow tomatoes. Hopefully we can find a place with some acreage so I can put up a poly-tunnel and extend my growing season for that reason. For all that I bitch about my mom, I'll forever be grateful to her and her elderly neighbor lady who taught me how to can food.
Secondly, bulk buying. Sure Costco and Sam's are okay for some things. But secretly, I hit the Asian/ethnic markets when I'm down in "The City". I'm a big fan of cheap 20lb bags of jasmine rice. Not that insipid white rice you can get at Walmart. I'm talking like really nice quality rice that actually has flavor. We eat a lot of rice. Oddly rice treats my blood sugar better than white potatoes. Their market is often full of high quality yet inexpensive products. So I get 99% of my rice from there, most of my cooking spices, sauces, noodles, and green tea. They also have good fresh vegetables and fruits I can't find anywhere else, which is nice when I'm wanting to make a batch of kimchi.
Asian/ethnic markets are also good sources for really cheap, high quality, and fresh fish, shellfish, and crustaceans. They service a lot of the Asian restaurants in our area and as such have direct flights from their distributors in NYC and Seattle. When you're stuck in Bumblefark, Midwest, USA...finding fresh seafood is a treat. So when it's in season and on sale I'll stock up and freeze it for later. I'm glad the lady who owned the upscale kitchen/restaurant supply store let me in on that secret one day.
The biggest thing that's made a difference in our food budget for our family is a cheap source of meat and my FoodSaver vacuum sealer. The price of beef right now is insane, and honestly, none of it really tastes good anymore. It almost tastes watery to me anymore, no real flavor. If I had the room, I'd totally raise my own cows to butcher, but alas. However we are over-run with pernicious and tasty deer. So, when I got tired of wasting money on poor quality beef, I learned how to hunt deer and process my own meat here at home, and what a difference it has made. Two doe fills up 2/3 of our deep freeze and keeps us fed for a whole year for the "beef dishes" I make. I even save the long bones which I cut up for broth.
The rest of the time I take advantage of our local IGA that runs "bulk meat sales" once a month. You can get 20lbs of chicken thighs or breasts for about $10. Same for pork cuts. Also local farmers sometimes advertise meat animals for sale in the paper, especially after county fair season is over. You basically buy your animal "on the hoof" from the farmer and they take it to the processor, and you pay a flat rate for however much meat it dresses out. So we've ended up with some good lamb and goat meat that way.
For the little things, I keep sourdough cultures in my fridge and make breads, waffles, pancakes, crackers, etc. I bring back like 50lbs of flour from Montana when we're out there visiting family, lol. Don't laugh it's made the best breads imo. I make my own granola for pennies compared to the pre-bagged, overly sweetened stuff. I grind my own GFS bulk coffee beans for our Keurig as the cost of K-cups is insane. We buy bulk tea online, as tea bags taste gross and are expensive. I buy local dairy products, like Trader Point yogurts, Amish butter, and whole unhomogenized milk from a dairy in Kentucky that comes in old school glass bottles that I clean and return for a refund. I keep my own chickens for the eggs, which I can't eat, lol. But I'll trade eggs during the summer for fruits and vegetables we don't grow, which is nice. We used to eat a lot more rabbit we raised ourselves, but our last pair of rabbits are too old for that breeding nonsense. My husband makes his own beer with kits his family buys him for gifts (since he's horrible for gift lists). I forage seasonally for morel mushrooms, persimmons, pawpaws, wild greens, wild asparagus, and various berries.
Being thrifty is fun sometimes, and all the little changes you can make in your food budget, it all adds up.
Lastly, if you have little kids and the room/time to do so, please, please, please...teach them to garden/hunt/fish/forage and to enjoy growing and preparing food. It's a hell of a life skill that pays for itself a lifetime over. Especially as things in the country get uncertain, sketchy, and unpredictable feeling. Maybe I'm the only one who feels that way. *steps off soapbox*
I agree with @jsnakehole moderation is key. It took me some time to come to this conclusion. If you child goes to daycare those holiday parties are unavoidable.
Unfortunately my DH and I don’t see eye to eye on giving kids junk food and if I had it my way DD would not have had any junk until she was 18. I have started teaching my daughter about junk food and real food. We have constant conversations about which food is which. The conversation is so much that now she will specifically say “mommy I ate all of my dinner is it ok to have something sweet?” We then have a conversation about what she had all day and decide on if she will get something sweet or not. She even knows when she says she is hungry I always ask her what she would like and she say “no junk”. So it is a process to teach her about good foods and bad foods. I will continue to teach her this because good eating habits are important to me.
DS gets sugar or dessert type stuff during a holiday get together - he's had some cake (we split a small piece between the 2 of us) the last 2 weekends because of birthday parties and Easter. No to chocolate milk. He does get apple or white grape juice about 3 - 4 times a week but we dilute it with 1/2 water and 1/2 juice. We learned what the full octane stuff does to him... there was a MAJOR poop explosion.
I do give things like animal crackers or graham crackers because I can throw a baggie in my purse and bribe him to stay in the cart while I'm grocery shopping. But he usually also gets a mandarin orange or something with it.
@neeraja_k whoa. That is a super impressive food plan. I have no time or skills to do a lot of that so its totally unrealistic for me to strive for anything close, but still. I'm impressed.
My husband and his siblings grew up under a "way before her time" crunchy mother with some rather unconventional parenting strategies. Or so I thought at the time, especially considering how much junk food my parents allowed in the house when I was growing up. Looking back at it now with the health issues I've developed and a kiddo in my future, his mom's policy are probably for the better. heh
No cereal with a sugar content over 10g. Sweet treats were only for special occasions, and rare. They didn't know what chocolate milk was until like middle school. They got watered down juice for breakfast only, water or milk otherwise. If it wasn't -20*F outside or if there weren't bears in the yard, your ass was outside playing or reading.
He's converted me to the cereal mantra. Somehow Honey Nut Cheerios are perfectly acceptable and one of the few cereals I can eat with my diabetes with little effect, provided I eat a serving of protein with my 3/4c serving. lol
@neeraja_k - I want to come visit you to see you do all this! Especially all the canning. We say we're going to can every year when we're at the farmers market but I usually get too overwhelmed by the whole process.
I agree with all you ladies! Sugar in moderation. We don't keep soda in the house and DD has had chocolate milk maybe once. We do have juice because of DH, but DD only gets like an ounce or two a couple times a week. My sister used to give her daughter mini marshmallows as a snack! Her reasoning was because a half a cup was only 100 calories or something like that. Wtaf?!?! And this was when she was around 1. She gets sweets constantly, and is a picky eater. They say they want to expose her to sweets so that they're no big deal later in life. Turns out it's backfiring on them because that's all she wants. I'm gonna sound braggy, but DD is an incredible eater. And I don't think it's luck. We worked hard at it.
I totally agree with the 'moderation' camp. At school, my niece learns about "GO!" foods and "WOAH!" foods - stuff you can have all the time, and stuff that needs to be moderated/had every once in a while. I'm going to do my best to moderate what my kiddo eats and choose healthy stuff over sugary, no nutrient stuff.
@neeraja_k Woah - that's an intense grocery manifesto. Very impressive! We do make meal plans for the week, and if I notice a good sale on something at the store I'll buy and freeze it for later. You gave some good tips thanks!
7425cait They say they want to expose her to sweets so that they're no big deal later in life. Turns out it's backfiring on them because that's all she wants.
Of course that back fired she is teaching her taste buds that that’s what food is supposed to taste like. So when eating veggies they will taste gross and bland. We train our taste buds and when you eat sugary crap all day why would you taste buds want quote unquote bland food. SMH.
Also just for conversation sake, when I was struggling to get pregnant with my first child I cut out all sugar and preservatives. I only shopped on the outside perimeter of the grocery store and didn’t eat anything on shelves. That occurred for months and once I got pregnant I was craving a snicker. The first time I ate it, it tasted like I took a bag of sugar and poured it into my mouth. It was so gross. The point of this is to show that when you don’t put something in your body your body will adjust accordingly.
7425cait They say they want to expose her to sweets so that they're no big deal later in life. Turns out it's backfiring on them because that's all she wants.
Of course that back fired she is teaching her taste buds that that’s what food is supposed to taste like. So when eating veggies they will taste gross and bland. We train our taste buds and when you eat sugary crap all day why would you taste buds want quote unquote bland food. SMH.
Then again, some kids are just picky. My son doesn’t like veggies anymore but it’s not because he overindulges on sugary junk food. He only gets sweets on special occasions. We did BLW with him hoping he would like a variety of foods but still will turn his nose up at veggies the vast majority of the time.
Y'all do NOT want to know what my grocery bill looks like in the Bay Area. I imagine @elsieisamoocow's is similar living down in the LA area. A gallon of milk is $8.
Yepppp. Just went to Target and the 1/2 gallon I bought for DS was $4.69. Granted it’s the organic stuff, but still, the thought of spending less than $200 every 2 weeks at the grocery store is mind blowing to me.
April Siggy Challenge: April Showers
About me:
29 y/o Married 6.26.11 BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14 BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now! BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17 BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
I was so careful with what DS ate his first year. No foods until 6 months, baby led weaning, mostly fruits, vegetables, and other minimally process foods. I even had flourless, refined sugar free cupcakes for his first birthday. After that I got really lax and he eats everything. I mostly just give him chocolate candy because I feel like it at least has some nutritional value, but he gets dessert pretty much every day. He hardly eats vegetables anymore unless they are cooked with sugar, bacon, and come from a can. But he does drink mostly water, we only give him juice occasionally. I’m not sure what’s going to happen with this baby. I’m afraid DS is going to try to try and sneak him a Reese’s cup when he gets the chance
^ you're right about the chocolate, at least from a tooth standpoint. My mom is a dental hygienist, and she said if you're gonna give your kid a sweet treat, chocolate is the way to go because it washes off. The sticky stuff is the worst. Forget fruit snacks and fruit leather.
Excel breaking = work hell, so just trying to catch up. Let's see here....
T. Swift - I just can't get on board with her. At all. Her music is NMS, her personal life annoys me... to each their own, but I will turn the station if a T. Swift comes on immediately.
Tieks - I get buying the higher quality for a higher price, but it is hard for me personally to drop that kind of money on one item. I've never been much into designer anything though, but I get that some people are. I always say, to each their own! I also feel like I ruin things or lose things way too easily to spend too much!
Sweets/sugar - Everything in moderation. DS has fruit snacks, graham crackers, animal crackers, but I do try to buy them as 'healthy' as possible. A lot of his snacks like that come from Trader Joe's and they seem to have less ingredients and added crap. They're just an easy snack in the car and on the go. We do encourage fruit and he eats the crap out of veggies everyday. All about balance He's never had chocolate milk, but we cut out milk about 6 months ago due to tummy issues, so don't have to worry about that! We keep the Honest brand juice boxes on hand and they're a special treat he gets maybe once a week? Candy/cakes/cookies - definite special occasions or holidays. His one treat on the weekends is a donut - DH will take him to Tim Horton's (aka the 'donut store') every other weekend or so and it's their special thing, which I'm totally okay with.
Groceries - we budget $150/week for the 3 of us and we stay around that give or take some. That includes paper products, booze, some toiletries and diapers. I meal plan and make a list and try my hardest to stick to it. We eat a lot of fresh product, meat and we pack all breakfasts and lunches and rarely eat out, so I don't think it's too horrible!
I agree with moderation with junk food for sure! DS ate so healthy until he was almost 1, and then it was just a bit of cake for his birthday, and a few licks of ice cream. He never really had much else besides that until he was almost 3 - a chocolate chip here and there, or some natural fruit snacks. Once we hit this past Christmas right before he turned 3, he learned a lot more about sweets, no thanks to my mom and DH!
I grew up with tons in the house, so I could choose what I wanted but in moderation. DH grew up with a health nut dad who would keep zero sweets in the house, so when DH was in high school he’d go to the grocery store and get a pint of ice cream, then binge eat it all in one sitting after school. I didn’t want to raise DS like that!
The only time I’ve really ever given apple juice is when we were potty training, and if he’s constipated. He knows it’s a special treat. No chocolate milk, and hell the eff no on soda! DH’s nephew had all of his teeth rot and has a mouth full of silver fillings now because as a 2 and 3 year old he would be drinking several cans of soda daily. Terrible.
I am a bit bad about fast food, just because it’s so much easier when I’m tired. I try to avoid it for DS but he definitely knows that he likes McDonald’s happy meals and chick fil a kids meals. He’s such a picky eater despite being exposed to tons of fruit and veggies early on, I am not going to fight it right now.
April Siggy Challenge: April Showers
About me:
29 y/o Married 6.26.11 BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14 BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now! BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17 BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
Tieks: I mostly just am not interested if I can’t go try them on before I buy at Nordies lol. I’m so sick of the buy return buy return cycle, though I totally appreciate the convenience! and they are a bit $ for flats to me which I globally find wear out fast. Maybe I just walk funny.
food: I was super careful with my oldest, and well 3 kids in and all my best intentions went out the window. The phenomenon of being ‘easier’ on younger sibs is a true story. And I’m an oldest so my bias is to avoid it but man, it happens. You get tired, and busy. You loosen up. I mean I used to buy him whole milk plain yogurt and mix in homemade purées because I didn’t want all the store bought sugar. Which was genius! But I didn’t do it for any other kid because it was just a bit of time that added up with everything else.
and in ct groceries are pretty $ compared to lcol areas (but I’m sure nothing like SoCal). I have 3 growing boys who are good eaters and dh and I like good food, I cook at home every meal and yeah... it’s a lot.
@elsieisamoocow - ugh, hell no to soda! I rarely let my DSS have it, and he's 13! I think DSS has about 1 a month, if that?
DS is a fantastic eater but he'll go on 'veggie strikes.' One day he'll eat all his green beans and the next he acts like we're trying to poison him lol! So the balance for us that works is an overall weekly average - did he have a minimum of 3 servings of fruits or veggies on most days? yup, so I don't stress every mouthful. And he's had his share of spaghetti o's for dinner because some nights are just chaos. But that's the balance that works for us. I don't judge anyone for how they feed their kid, as long as the kid is fed
@elsieisamoocow my MIL thinks it's okay to give my son diet coke because it's diet. *facepalm*
They left a case of diet coke at our house at Thanksgiving and they drink out of it every time they come over because we don't have any interest in it. I mean, I'll get a diet whatever with a burger but I don't make a habit of it.
I'm another vote for things in moderation. I want my kid to experience everything--if that means a piece of reese's cup on Easter, or a couple bites of my occasional ice cream, then so be it. The last thing I want is for her to develop a complex with "forbidden" foods.
That said, we try to eat pretty health-conscious in general. I don't keep junk food on hand--we have some multi-grain off-brand cheerios as occasional snacks, bananas, apples, and peanut butter on crackers. She does get apple juice when she gets constipated, so I keep small juice boxes on hand and we break them out as needed. Lol.
Most of the bread we have on hand is homemade sourdough; my culture sits on the kitchen counter in a perpetual state of trying to take over everything in the vicinity. We also grow sprouts (mostly broccoli and alfalfa) to add to various hot meals--I don't trust them uncooked. I grow lettuce as well, but that's very hit-or-miss depending on the season, and I don't have any space for a garden. I miss my garden.
Meat we generally buy in bulk from Costco, then portion it out, vacuum seal the portions, and fill the chest freezer. Likewise with frozen veggies, I try to buy them on sale/with coupons/in bulk.
I can usually snag a gallon of milk for about $2.50... $8 is insane to me (but not really, I remember it being significantly more expensive when I lived in PA)
...we aren't much for soda, but make a lot of sun tea at home. I'd like to start some kombucha cultures when I'm no longer pregnant, but other than that pretty much just drink water.
Some of you are so dang impressive with all of your food hacks. It makes me realize how much CRAP I actually do buy...I mean, we don't seek out junk to keep on hand at home but I definitely don't make my own bread or drinks or grow anything. I'm afraid the neighbor's cat would pee on my plants.
@ecwk DS is going through a super picky phase right now and it’s been frustrating. It’s been hard finding healthier things to feed him.
We give DS juice but it’s super watered down and that’s usually just once a day. I’ve been trying to cut back on the sweets and processed foods for him but it’s hard when the only chicken he eats are dinosaur nuggets.
I’m with you @Firemanswife11! We buy all our stuff. I grow nothing.
I was super strict with DS’s food for the first year. I made him sugar free cupcakes for his birthday. He’s a really good eater though. He actually loves broccoli, red bell peppers, sweet potatoes. He’ll eat almost anything if he’s hungry. He randomly stopped drinking milk. He gets quite a bit of juice (gasp) which I said I would NEVER do. He drinks mostly water though. He loves gummies and animal cookies. He likes the idea of lollipops and candy but just will lick it a few times and put it down somewhere. He loves cake & ice cream though but only gets that on special occasions. I feel like this next kid is going to be a horrible eater. I’ll be shocked if I get two like DS.
7425cait They say they want to expose her to sweets so that they're no big deal later in life. Turns out it's backfiring on them because that's all she wants.
Of course that back fired she is teaching her taste buds that that’s what food is supposed to taste like. So when eating veggies they will taste gross and bland. We train our taste buds and when you eat sugary crap all day why would you taste buds want quote unquote bland food. SMH.
Then again, some kids are just picky. My son doesn’t like veggies anymore but it’s not because he overindulges on sugary junk food. He only gets sweets on special occasions. We did BLW with him hoping he would like a variety of foods but still will turn his nose up at veggies the vast majority of the time.
That is understandable. Giving other healthy options is always a choice. When they have more of an option for junk food of course they would take that option. There are other ways to eat healthy besides just eating veggies. I completely get the picky child because depending on the day my daughter is, but I don’t give junk food because she is being picky. I attempt t to find healthy options that she likes.
I am still struggling a lot with how I want to raise my daughter re: food. I agree that moderation is key but want to try to avoid labeling foods as "good" versus "bad" because I am really hoping to avoid the seemingly never ending cycle of disordered eating (*TW eating disorder*: my mom and I both suffered from anorexia and bulimia in our teens/twenties *end TW*) and I think the good vs bad food paradigm ties into feelings of guilt/need for perfection with regards to eating. But I don't really have a great strategy other than modeling good eating behaviors (eating mostly healthy but treating myself once in a while without making a big deal of it, and never ever referencing food regret or anything like that in front of her) and being active with her and focusing on what the body can do versus how it looks. I guess my UO is I'd much rather she overdo it on sweets from time to time and/or be slightly overweight than spend her whole life obsessing over eating right and weighing the right amount.
*TTC History*
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
DS is only 20 months but we’re pretty lax with food overall. He probably gets a Culver’s kid’s meal once a week and bites off our dessert once a week as well. He only drinks water at home and milk at school, but we do animal and graham crackers a lot as snacks, along with berries and fruit. We did BLW and I think it helped him be open to things, but he still goes through picky phases. I can tell when he’s had too many sweets because he’s less interested in trying other foods. It’s a balance.
Yeah I'm certainly more in the UO on this than most of you here. I'm not really strict on any foods my kids eat. I provide them with lots of fruits and whatever veggies they will eat, a healthy lunch at school (their school doesn't allow any sugary anything), and a healthy dinner each night, but I also allow fast food once in a while, a very small sprite every once in a while for DS2, juice for the kids, etc. They get candy on holidays and they eat snacks sometimes, even, GASP, chips and other unhealthy carbs. They are very active children, they know how important exercise and being outside is, so I'm not as strict on what they eat.
@legallykate I am not sure about your personal struggle but for the clients I work with their eating disorder were usually not tied to the food per-say. The eating disorder was more tied to unhealthy body image. The other disorder of overeating/binge eating are just as detrimental so it could technically go both ways. It is best to teach about healthy eating habits and healthy body images. The reason I label them good food and bad food is because I was never taught what good eating was. That is why I say every thing in moderation.
Super long lol... I have a lot of thoughts on kids and eating ha
@legallykate absolutely!! Even without the history I think that is a really good thing for everyone to keep in mind honestly. I try to remember to talk about foods in terms of being healthy and having protein or calcium or fiber for vitamins and minerals that we need to help our bodies grow strong to help us think clearly to help us sleep well and the help their bodies grow. I still think of milk for example as for strong bones and healthy teeth… Does a body good. I grew up on those commercials LOL. But I do think that talking about foods in terms of what they can do for our bodies and how they can help us instead of good versus bad is definitely important
and dutto on having good eaters in large part I believe due to how we have approached dinner time food from day one. There are some definitely more picky than others, my middle son calls in that category and today I just have a conversation with him about how he needs to come up with some healthy foods that he is willing to eat because I’m not putting up with him refusing food and only wanting snacks etc., not eating the fruits that he always liked, that sort of thing. That he needs to decide on some healthy fruits or veggies that he is willing to eat throughout the day and actually eat them and not give me a hard time about it. They don’t get food after dinner if They didn’t eat their whole dinner, not even a banana or apple. Because then that’s all they would eat… And sometimes if I know I made a dinner that they like and we have second helpings of I don’t let them have snacks after dinner anyhow I just offer second helpings of the dinner that we offered in the first place. I tend to try to give them small servings that are in acceptable small amount of food so that if they don’t eat it all it’s OK, but they very well might want more.
The only time I ever make a separate dinner for the kids other than what we are eating is if it something I know is spicy or that I know they really really really do not eat, which has happened maybe one time ever? Or if it’s something that’s kind of expensive and special and we don’t want to share LOL. Again, maybe once or twice ever
And this all totally totally recognizes that I’m lucky to have kids that don’t have special needs regarding food whether they be sensory or swallowing or allergies etc. and I know that feeding kids to have extra needs with food makes it much more complicated and challenging situation.
And we definitely eat stuff that’s not always healthy… I just picked up pizza for dinner for example Yum Yum Yum. And for the most part people can have whatever they want and preferred for breakfast and lunch… within reason LOL I have to approve but they don’t all have to have the same thing I’m eating
Plus we all bring our own history to stuff like food… I was a very very picky kid and I still am kind of picky, in that I like foods made the way I like them though I’m willing to eat a large variety. My husband grew up in the clean plate club which is a whole other set of issues and he has suffered with over eating as a result. So, we enforce trying a variety of food and eating what your served, but they are never made to finish their dinner or eat everything on their plate though I do ask them to take another thank you bite of veggies or whatever new thing they think looks gross. All it means is they don’t get to eat anything else afterwards
Re: UO 4/5
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
DH:45
DSD: 20
DSS: 18
Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
And I can't think of any of my unpopular opinions right now. I'm distracted by the rubber ducky song that just came on sesame Street - haha! I was totally obsessed with that song in college but that's more of a FFFC
DH:45
DSD: 20
DSS: 18
Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
Married: 6/2016
TTC #1: 12/2016
Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
Also, chocolate milk makes DS1 puke, so there's that at least.
Oh, and, I can ALWAYS tell when my ILs give him too much sugar because he has nasty diapers for like 3 days after. So when they watched him when we went out of town and gave him too much sugar the first day, they paid for it for DAYS and it makes me laugh that they finally realized that we weren't being "mean mom and dad," he really cannot tolerate sugar.
We teach treats/special snacks in moderation. I definitely don’t want to treat them as horrible things and then have my kids sneak them/develop negative habits of hiding food. They just know that they can have them when it’s appropriate (dessert only if they finish their dinner, juice once a day, etc).
As it is, I feel super guilty spending $80 for a used nursery bedding set from a local mom. But it originally retailed for over $200 and it's since been discontinued. So I've been trying to tell myself it's a good deal. heh
My ethos when it comes to foods and groceries, it's long winded, so I put it in a spoiler.
The biggest thing? I take heavy advantage of store sales, coupons, and meal planning. When stuff is on sale, I stock up my pantry for the lean times. I don't really buy "convenience foods" on the whole. Skillet meals in a bag? Seasoned rice in a box? Pre-cut bagged vegetables? Frozen waffles? Cereal? Sure, they're all good, but too expensive when I can do it myself. Now I'll totally buy Near East boxed rice/quinoa/couscous if I find it on sale, same for Kraft mac and cheese, Maruchan ramen, and Cheerios. lol
We don't really buy "junk food" either, and that's a big cost. No soda, potato chips, frozen burritos, or candy here. Our local farm store sells giant boxes of corn chips, 3lb for $6, so we usually get one of those. Chips and salsa is one of our main snacks. They also sell big bags of local pretzels, which are really good. I occasionally get coupons for Blue Diamond almonds from Walgreens, so when they're on sale and I have a coupon, watch out! Our snack cabinet looks like a hipster market with the nuts, dried fruits, and granola containers. lol
I rarely buy canned vegetables, we simply don't use them. Every meal my mom made when I was growing up was with canned vegetables, ugh. Ever since marrying my husband and finding out how to actually cook veggies that aren't overcooked mush from his mom, I can't go back. So a lot of my weekly budget goes towards lots of fresh fruits and vegetables that I intend to use within a few days of purchase. Since I got pregnant we've been eating a LOT of chard, beet greens, and sweet potatoes. Fruits, I try to stick to what's in season at that time, as they're cheaper, fresher, and don't come in on an airplane from South America. heh
The canned goods I do use the most are ones I rarely buy. Like canned tomato products, which I think are expensive for no more than what they are, which is: tomatoes, water, salt. If I do buy canned goods, like tomato paste (ain't wasting the time and propane to cook it down), kidney/black/garbanzo/wax/butter beans...it's on sale and store brand only.
Every year I grow a garden and can my own diced tomatoes/sauce/Rotel knockoff/salsa. Same for green beans, although my green beans did awful last summer, so I'm making due with the last of my 2016 stash. I also make my own jams and pickles with the same principles. It's going to suck moving to Montana with their unpredictable weather, short growing season, and trying to grow tomatoes. Hopefully we can find a place with some acreage so I can put up a poly-tunnel and extend my growing season for that reason. For all that I bitch about my mom, I'll forever be grateful to her and her elderly neighbor lady who taught me how to can food.
Secondly, bulk buying. Sure Costco and Sam's are okay for some things. But secretly, I hit the Asian/ethnic markets when I'm down in "The City". I'm a big fan of cheap 20lb bags of jasmine rice. Not that insipid white rice you can get at Walmart. I'm talking like really nice quality rice that actually has flavor. We eat a lot of rice. Oddly rice treats my blood sugar better than white potatoes. Their market is often full of high quality yet inexpensive products. So I get 99% of my rice from there, most of my cooking spices, sauces, noodles, and green tea. They also have good fresh vegetables and fruits I can't find anywhere else, which is nice when I'm wanting to make a batch of kimchi.
Asian/ethnic markets are also good sources for really cheap, high quality, and fresh fish, shellfish, and crustaceans. They service a lot of the Asian restaurants in our area and as such have direct flights from their distributors in NYC and Seattle. When you're stuck in Bumblefark, Midwest, USA...finding fresh seafood is a treat. So when it's in season and on sale I'll stock up and freeze it for later. I'm glad the lady who owned the upscale kitchen/restaurant supply store let me in on that secret one day.
The biggest thing that's made a difference in our food budget for our family is a cheap source of meat and my FoodSaver vacuum sealer. The price of beef right now is insane, and honestly, none of it really tastes good anymore. It almost tastes watery to me anymore, no real flavor. If I had the room, I'd totally raise my own cows to butcher, but alas. However we are over-run with pernicious and tasty deer. So, when I got tired of wasting money on poor quality beef, I learned how to hunt deer and process my own meat here at home, and what a difference it has made. Two doe fills up 2/3 of our deep freeze and keeps us fed for a whole year for the "beef dishes" I make. I even save the long bones which I cut up for broth.
The rest of the time I take advantage of our local IGA that runs "bulk meat sales" once a month. You can get 20lbs of chicken thighs or breasts for about $10. Same for pork cuts. Also local farmers sometimes advertise meat animals for sale in the paper, especially after county fair season is over. You basically buy your animal "on the hoof" from the farmer and they take it to the processor, and you pay a flat rate for however much meat it dresses out. So we've ended up with some good lamb and goat meat that way.
For the little things, I keep sourdough cultures in my fridge and make breads, waffles, pancakes, crackers, etc. I bring back like 50lbs of flour from Montana when we're out there visiting family, lol. Don't laugh it's made the best breads imo. I make my own granola for pennies compared to the pre-bagged, overly sweetened stuff. I grind my own GFS bulk coffee beans for our Keurig as the cost of K-cups is insane. We buy bulk tea online, as tea bags taste gross and are expensive. I buy local dairy products, like Trader Point yogurts, Amish butter, and whole unhomogenized milk from a dairy in Kentucky that comes in old school glass bottles that I clean and return for a refund. I keep my own chickens for the eggs, which I can't eat, lol. But I'll trade eggs during the summer for fruits and vegetables we don't grow, which is nice. We used to eat a lot more rabbit we raised ourselves, but our last pair of rabbits are too old for that breeding nonsense. My husband makes his own beer with kits his family buys him for gifts (since he's horrible for gift lists). I forage seasonally for morel mushrooms, persimmons, pawpaws, wild greens, wild asparagus, and various berries.
Being thrifty is fun sometimes, and all the little changes you can make in your food budget, it all adds up.
Lastly, if you have little kids and the room/time to do so, please, please, please...teach them to garden/hunt/fish/forage and to enjoy growing and preparing food. It's a hell of a life skill that pays for itself a lifetime over. Especially as things in the country get uncertain, sketchy, and unpredictable feeling. Maybe I'm the only one who feels that way. *steps off soapbox*
Unfortunately my DH and I don’t see eye to eye on giving kids junk food and if I had it my way DD would not have had any junk until she was 18. I have started teaching my daughter about junk food and real food. We have constant conversations about which food is which. The conversation is so much that now she will specifically say “mommy I ate all of my dinner is it ok to have something sweet?” We then have a conversation about what she had all day and decide on if she will get something sweet or not. She even knows when she says she is hungry I always ask her what she would like and she say “no junk”. So it is a process to teach her about good foods and bad foods. I will continue to teach her this because good eating habits are important to me.
I do give things like animal crackers or graham crackers because I can throw a baggie in my purse and bribe him to stay in the cart while I'm grocery shopping. But he usually also gets a mandarin orange or something with it.
I agree - it's all about balance.
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
No cereal with a sugar content over 10g.
Sweet treats were only for special occasions, and rare.
They didn't know what chocolate milk was until like middle school.
They got watered down juice for breakfast only, water or milk otherwise.
If it wasn't -20*F outside or if there weren't bears in the yard, your ass was outside playing or reading.
He's converted me to the cereal mantra. Somehow Honey Nut Cheerios are perfectly acceptable and one of the few cereals I can eat with my diabetes with little effect, provided I eat a serving of protein with my 3/4c serving. lol
That is seriously awesome!
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
@neeraja_k Woah - that's an intense grocery manifesto. Very impressive! We do make meal plans for the week, and if I notice a good sale on something at the store I'll buy and freeze it for later. You gave some good tips thanks!
About me:
Married 6.26.11
BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14
BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now!
BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17
BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
T. Swift - I just can't get on board with her. At all. Her music is NMS, her personal life annoys me... to each their own, but I will turn the station if a T. Swift comes on immediately.
Tieks - I get buying the higher quality for a higher price, but it is hard for me personally to drop that kind of money on one item. I've never been much into designer anything though, but I get that some people are. I always say, to each their own! I also feel like I ruin things or lose things way too easily to spend too much!
Sweets/sugar - Everything in moderation. DS has fruit snacks, graham crackers, animal crackers, but I do try to buy them as 'healthy' as possible. A lot of his snacks like that come from Trader Joe's and they seem to have less ingredients and added crap. They're just an easy snack in the car and on the go. We do encourage fruit and he eats the crap out of veggies everyday. All about balance
Groceries - we budget $150/week for the 3 of us and we stay around that give or take some. That includes paper products, booze, some toiletries and diapers. I meal plan and make a list and try my hardest to stick to it. We eat a lot of fresh product, meat and we pack all breakfasts and lunches and rarely eat out, so I don't think it's too horrible!
DS: 5.28.15
DS#2: EDD 8.31.18
I grew up with tons in the house, so I could choose what I wanted but in moderation. DH grew up with a health nut dad who would keep zero sweets in the house, so when DH was in high school he’d go to the grocery store and get a pint of ice cream, then binge eat it all in one sitting after school. I didn’t want to raise DS like that!
The only time I’ve really ever given apple juice is when we were potty training, and if he’s constipated. He knows it’s a special treat. No chocolate milk, and hell the eff no on soda! DH’s nephew had all of his teeth rot and has a mouth full of silver fillings now because as a 2 and 3 year old he would be drinking several cans of soda daily. Terrible.
I am a bit bad about fast food, just because it’s so much easier when I’m tired. I try to avoid it for DS but he definitely knows that he likes McDonald’s happy meals and chick fil a kids meals. He’s such a picky eater despite being exposed to tons of fruit and veggies early on, I am not going to fight it right now.
About me:
Married 6.26.11
BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14
BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now!
BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17
BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
food: I was super careful with my oldest, and well 3 kids in and all my best intentions went out the window. The phenomenon of being ‘easier’ on younger sibs is a true story. And I’m an oldest so my bias is to avoid it but man, it happens. You get tired, and busy. You loosen up. I mean I used to buy him whole milk plain yogurt and mix in homemade purées because I didn’t want all the store bought sugar. Which was genius! But I didn’t do it for any other kid because it was just a bit of time that added up with everything else.
and in ct groceries are pretty $ compared to lcol areas (but I’m sure nothing like SoCal). I have 3 growing boys who are good eaters and dh and I like good food, I cook at home every meal and yeah... it’s a lot.
11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
08/03/17 no hb 8w
DS is a fantastic eater but he'll go on 'veggie strikes.' One day he'll eat all his green beans and the next he acts like we're trying to poison him lol! So the balance for us that works is an overall weekly average - did he have a minimum of 3 servings of fruits or veggies on most days? yup, so I don't stress every mouthful. And he's had his share of spaghetti o's for dinner because some nights are just chaos. But that's the balance that works for us. I don't judge anyone for how they feed their kid, as long as the kid is fed
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
They left a case of diet coke at our house at Thanksgiving and they drink out of it every time they come over because we don't have any interest in it. I mean, I'll get a diet whatever with a burger but I don't make a habit of it.
11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
08/03/17 no hb 8w
That said, we try to eat pretty health-conscious in general. I don't keep junk food on hand--we have some multi-grain off-brand cheerios as occasional snacks, bananas, apples, and peanut butter on crackers. She does get apple juice when she gets constipated, so I keep small juice boxes on hand and we break them out as needed. Lol.
Most of the bread we have on hand is homemade sourdough; my culture sits on the kitchen counter in a perpetual state of trying to take over everything in the vicinity. We also grow sprouts (mostly broccoli and alfalfa) to add to various hot meals--I don't trust them uncooked. I grow lettuce as well, but that's very hit-or-miss depending on the season, and I don't have any space for a garden. I miss my garden.
Meat we generally buy in bulk from Costco, then portion it out, vacuum seal the portions, and fill the chest freezer. Likewise with frozen veggies, I try to buy them on sale/with coupons/in bulk.
I can usually snag a gallon of milk for about $2.50... $8 is insane to me (but not really, I remember it being significantly more expensive when I lived in PA)
...we aren't much for soda, but make a lot of sun tea at home. I'd like to start some kombucha cultures when I'm no longer pregnant, but other than that pretty much just drink water.
We give DS juice but it’s super watered down and that’s usually just once a day. I’ve been trying to cut back on the sweets and processed foods for him but it’s hard when the only chicken he eats are dinosaur nuggets.
I was super strict with DS’s food for the first year. I made him sugar free cupcakes for his birthday. He’s a really good eater though. He actually loves broccoli, red bell peppers, sweet potatoes. He’ll eat almost anything if he’s hungry. He randomly stopped drinking milk. He gets quite a bit of juice (gasp) which I said I would NEVER do. He drinks mostly water though. He loves gummies and animal cookies. He likes the idea of lollipops and candy but just will lick it a few times and put it down somewhere. He loves cake & ice cream though but only gets that on special occasions. I feel like this next kid is going to be a horrible eater. I’ll be shocked if I get two like DS.
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
Edited to correct a word that sounded insensitive
@legallykate absolutely!! Even without the history I think that is a really good thing for everyone to keep in mind honestly. I try to remember to talk about foods in terms of being healthy and having protein or calcium or fiber for vitamins and minerals that we need to help our bodies grow strong to help us think clearly to help us sleep well and the help their bodies grow. I still think of milk for example as for strong bones and healthy teeth… Does a body good. I grew up on those commercials LOL. But I do think that talking about foods in terms of what they can do for our bodies and how they can help us instead of good versus bad is definitely important
and dutto on having good eaters in large part I believe due to how we have approached dinner time food from day one. There are some definitely more picky than others, my middle son calls in that category and today I just have a conversation with him about how he needs to come up with some healthy foods that he is willing to eat because I’m not putting up with him refusing food and only wanting snacks etc., not eating the fruits that he always liked, that sort of thing. That he needs to decide on some healthy fruits or veggies that he is willing to eat throughout the day and actually eat them and not give me a hard time about it. They don’t get food after dinner if They didn’t eat their whole dinner, not even a banana or apple. Because then that’s all they would eat… And sometimes if I know I made a dinner that they like and we have second helpings of I don’t let them have snacks after dinner anyhow I just offer second helpings of the dinner that we offered in the first place. I tend to try to give them small servings that are in acceptable small amount of food so that if they don’t eat it all it’s OK, but they very well might want more.
The only time I ever make a separate dinner for the kids other than what we are eating is if it something I know is spicy or that I know they really really really do not eat, which has happened maybe one time ever? Or if it’s something that’s kind of expensive and special and we don’t want to share LOL. Again, maybe once or twice ever
And this all totally totally recognizes that I’m lucky to have kids that don’t have special needs regarding food whether they be sensory or swallowing or allergies etc. and I know that feeding kids to have extra needs with food makes it much more complicated and challenging situation.
And we definitely eat stuff that’s not always healthy… I just picked up pizza for dinner for example Yum Yum Yum. And for the most part people can have whatever they want and preferred for breakfast and lunch… within reason LOL I have to approve but they don’t all have to have the same thing I’m eating
Plus we all bring our own history to stuff like food… I was a very very picky kid and I still am kind of picky, in that I like foods made the way I like them though I’m willing to eat a large variety. My husband grew up in the clean plate club which is a whole other set of issues and he has suffered with over eating as a result. So, we enforce trying a variety of food and eating what your served, but they are never made to finish their dinner or eat everything on their plate though I do ask them to take another thank you bite of veggies or whatever new thing they think looks gross. All it means is they don’t get to eat anything else afterwards
11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
08/03/17 no hb 8w